Original subtitles

Who can turn the world on with her smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should know it.

With each glance and every little movement you show it. Love is all alone,

need to waste it. You can never tell, why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all.

Remember we were talking last week about coming up with a new opening for Ted?

Yeah. Well, I think I've got something here.

What do you think about it?

Good evening. This is Ted Baxter with news from around the world and around

corner.

Yeah, I like it. That's pretty good. Yeah, I think it works.

Yeah, maybe we'll try it out next week.

Try what out next week? Oh, well, it's a new catchphrase that Murray came up

with to open the show. Oh, yeah? Can I see it? Sure.

Good evening, this is Ted Baxter with news from around the world and around

corner.

Hmm, I like it. I really like it.

I'm not so sure about it anymore.

No, I mean it, Murr. It's good. It's better than good. It's me.

You son of a gun, you did it again.

Thanks.

Say, can I take this with me?

Take it home on the weekend and learn it?

Wouldn't it be much better if I reversed it? I mean, instead of saying around

the world and around the corner, I said news from around the corner and around

the world?

Uh, no, I don't think so, Ted.

You don't think it would have been more pizzazzed the other way?

No, Ted, I thought it was good the way you said it the first time.

Yeah, well, you're probably right. Well, see you Monday. Yeah, I said it is

good.

Well, that does it to me.

Got any plans for the weekend?

Oh, yeah.

Saturday, I've got to go to the dentist. I've got to put up the store. warm

windows, and unclog a drain in the kids' bathroom.

And then Sunday, I'm going to do some of the unpleasant chores I've been putting

off.

I was right.

Right about what, Ted? This thing you wrote. I read it both ways to Ollie the

Elevator Man.

I didn't try to influence him. I didn't tell him which way I liked it. I just

let him make up his own mind. And he said there was no question about it.

Around the corner and around the world is the way it should be. Mary, can you

believe this?

Ted asked an elevator man to judge my writing.

That's ridiculous. What experience has he had? Are you kidding?

Ollie's been running that elevator for 17 years.

Mary, would you please say something to Ted?

Sure. See you Monday, Ted.

All I want is to change a couple of little words around.

Sure.

If it were up to you, the line would read, not to be or to be.

What line?

Lou, just not so fast.

All right, Ted.

Have a... Is that better, Ted?

What I meant was, Lou, we need an executive decision here.

Well, make it fast. I got a poker game. What's the problem, Mary? Well, Murray

came up with a new opening for the show. It goes, good evening, this is Ted

Baxter with news from around the world and around the corner. Only Ted wants it

to be around the corner and around the world.

That's it?

That's it.

Lou, around the corner has got to come last. And Ollie and I say it goes first.

Ollie? The elevator man.

Who wants me to rewrite my copy because of an elevator man?

Murray, that's who we're doing the news for.

All the Ollie's in all the elevators all over the world.

We're not doing it for people like us.

We already know the news.

Which way, Lou?

Let me see.

All right.

I've decided to let Mary decide.

And I will decide on Monday. Good night.

Come on, Marie. Be a good guy. Let me do it my way. I'm sorry, Ted. Your way is

the wrong way.

Okay, it's your opinion and I respect it. I only hope you're wearing

shoes. Why?

Because I'm going to tell Ollie. And when I tell Ollie, you're going to be

walking down 23 flights of stairs.

Hey, I got you out of your bed. I'm sorry.

No, that's okay. Listen, I was in there too long anyway.

My fingers were getting all wrinkled. Yeah.

It's funny how fingers do that. Other parts of the body don't do that. Well,

I think the toes do, too.

Listen... No, you're right.

Murr, why don't you sit down and I'll just put the... No, no, I'm only going

be a minute, Mayor. I just came from the dentist and I thought I'd stop by and

apologize. For what?

Well, for that whole thing in the office, you know, and changing the words

around. Oh, Murray, come on. You don't have to apologize. I don't know why I

so upset, you know, over such a little thing around the world, around the

corner. What difference does it make? Yeah.

Murray, I'm standing here in this towel. Oh, yeah, the towel. I'm sorry.

Yeah, I'll just go put some clothes on. No, no, no, Mayor. Look, I just wanted

to tell you that I'm sorry it happened.

Boy, that's a great towel.

You know, I keep telling Marie to get those kind, but she always gets those

thin, skimpy ones. I turn around my waist, they always keep falling off.

You know, Murray, I really would feel... so much more comfortable dressed.

Well, listen, I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry and that, you know,

whatever you decide, Mayor, around the world or around the corner or around the

Mulberry Bush, whatever you decide, it's all right with me. I mean, it's no big

deal. Actually, Murray, I've already decided. Oh, really? Yeah, I think we're

going to try it the way you wrote it. Oh, thank you, Mary.

Thank you.

The weather bureau says the snowstorm should continue until tomorrow morning,

and we might get as much as 16 inches.

Wow. Mary, when you talk to the film crew, remind them I want some good

of the storm.

Yeah, right. Tell them I want something different this time.

I don't want any schoolboys having snowball fights, or pretty girls making

snowmen with funny little pipes in their mouths, or fat storekeepers shoveling

sidewalks. I want something unusual, something imaginative.

Give it a little thought.

running through the spray of a fire hydrant.

Hi, people.

Hi.

Isn't it simply beautiful out there?

I mean, snow always inspires such awe in me.

Just consider one single snowflake alone.

So delicate, so fragile, so ethereal.

Through the majestic force of nature, they can screw up a whole city.

Uh, Suzanne, why are you wearing a Santa Claus apron?

Oh, I just finished taping a special on Christmas dinner in many lands.

I call it Yuletide Yummies for worldwide tummies.

Christmas show? This is only November.

Oh, I always take my Christmas show in advance.

way I can spend the season of joy and goodwill with my only sister in Florida.

Oh, that's nice.

She's kind of a creep, but she's got a pool.

I have cooked all these wonderful Christmas dishes from different

I wanted to invite you all to come on down after your broadcast.

And I thought between courses we could sing some carols and play Christmas

games. Oh, there's this wonderful game from Finland.

No.

For that, you need three little boys and a peasant's wife.

But there are so many more.

Mary. Oh, gee, Sue Ann, that sounds like a lot of fun, but I'm meeting someone

at the theater.

Oh, Mary.

Gee, I'd love to come, Sue Ann, but we're having some people over for bridge

tonight.

Hello.

Well, I'm not doing anything tonight, Sue Ann. Then you'll come.

No.

Grant, you should have gone. I bet you made a wonderful dinner.

I think Lou's afraid he might be the dessert.

Where you been? You're on the air in a few minutes.

Lou, you won't believe what I've been through.

My car got stuck in a snow drift.

Called a tow truck. It never came.

Georgette's still in the car waiting for it.

You left Georgette all alone in the car?

Oh, that's all right. I told her she could play the radio.

And I had to walk 15 blocks in the snow. Look at my hands. I think I got

frostbite. What happened? Your mother pinned your mittens to your mother's

Here's your copy. You better get into the studio.

Any word from the Board of Education about closing the school tomorrow? No,

I'll check with them again before the show. Oh, Murr, wait a minute.

You didn't change the opening around. It still says, around the world and around

the corner.

Well, I didn't have to change it, Ted. Mary decided to do it that way.

Yeah, I thought it over, and I decided that we would do it the way Murray wrote

it. Well, Murray may have written it, and you may have thought it over, but

the one that has to say it.

And I can't say it.

No, I can't.

But it sounds right. It's not me.

If it's one thing I've learned, it's got to be me.

You're right.

It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it.

All right, look, we don't have time to argue about this. I'll just cross it

and we'll talk about it tomorrow.

Well, I open the show.

Just open it the same way you've been doing it for eight years.

Good evening, this is Ted Baxter with tonight's news.

Let me write that down.

Yeah. Mary, is that the way you make a decision?

Oh, Murray. Now, you're either the associate producer of this show or

not. And if you are, I think you should start acting like one. All right.

Ted, Mr. Grant has given me the authority to decide which is the right

this opening. And I have decided which is the right way. And that is the way

are going to do it. You are going to say this is Ted Baxter with news from

around...

that's the way you're going to say it.

That's the way you're going to say it, please.

Please.

Okay.

Is that the way you exercise authority?

Please? What happened to pretty please?

Oh, come on, Mary, what do you want?

Excuse me.

I'm sorry to interrupt, but could anyone tell me why our show was on the air and

Ted isn't?

Mary was...

Have you ever enjoyed our show so much?

Good evening.

This is Ted Baxter with tonight's news from around the corner and around the

world. I'll be right back right after this commercial message.

I knew he'd do it his way. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. Well, someone please

tell me what's going on here. I'll tell you what's going on here.

I'm quitting.

Oh, come on, Murray. You're not going to quit over two dumb little...

Oh, say, Murray.

And then Ted read it his way, and, well, you saw the rest.

And that's why Murray's quitting?

Oh, come on, Mr. Graham. Murray's not going to quit.

He wouldn't quit over a silly thing like that. I know Murray.

Murr! Excuse me. May I use that phone?

What do you mean? It's your phone. It used to be my phone. It's not anymore.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Use the phone.

Hey, Murr.

Are you not serious?

Hello, Marie?

Look, I can't get my car out of the parking lot. Yeah, and the police say

take till midnight to clear the streets.

So don't wait up.

Okay, honey. Good night.

They're keeping the cars off the road. We get that story on the air? How do I

know? Ask somebody who works here.

I guess I'd better stay here for a while.

All right, I'll have some coffee.

Yes, Murray, you can have some coffee.

Thank you.

Murray.

Murray.

Murray, Murray, Murray, Murray.

It used to be my chair. It's not anymore.

Oh, this is just terrific.

I said, Mary.

I just couldn't do something I knew in my heart was wrong. But that's not the

point. I made a decision. I know, and I respect you for it, Mary.

But it was a lousy decision.

It was the right decision if she had stuck to it. I was simply trying to get

show on the air.

You could have fooled me.

Well, Mr. Grant, if you think you can find someone else to do my job...

Mary, I ain't enough for one day.

You look at all the trouble you've caused just because of two stupid words.

I just hope you'll say...

Christmas, whatever happened to Thanksgiving?

Listen, Sue Ann, I really don't feel like that sort of thing. Yeah, I'm not

really in the mood for any kind of Christmas dinner.

Now, you're going to have to eat sometime.

The choice is yours.

You can have a package of stale peanut butter crackers from the vending machine

or a sumptuous eight -course banquet with me featuring souffle toilageant,

ville à la grecque, and enough free booze to knock you all on your...

Christmas dinner.

Oh, Ted, just once, couldn't we please pay the full price and have it on

December 24th?

Mr. O'Toole.

next to Georgette.

Mary, you can sit next to Ted.

Sue Ann, why don't you sit next to Ted?

All right, I'll sit next to Ted. Lou, you sit here next to me.

And I'll just take my place here.

Oh, pretty hats. What are they for, Sue Ann?

Well, when I taped my special, each time I created a different dish from a

different country, I wore a different hat.

And I thought it would be such fun if we each... each wore one during dinner.

I'm a little Dutch girl.

Oh, and I'm a little Scottish girl.

Here, Ted, put this one on. I'm not wearing any hats. Come on, where's your

Christmas spirit?

It's not Christmas.

We're not children.

Well, of course you're not.

But if you don't put on your hats, you can't have any dinner.

Now, isn't that fun?

Georgette, maybe you'd lend me a hand. The first dish is from Mother Russia.

Raised carp in honey and raisin sauce.

While Georgette and I are serving up the fish, why don't the rest of you turn to

your Christmas songbooks?

Page 23.

It's not Christmas. It's November. We don't want to sing any Christmas carols.

Oh, it's all right, Lou. They're non -denominational.

Who elected you spokesman for the rest of us, Lou? If we want to sing, we'll

sing. And I want to sing, so let's...

A poet.

This is Swimming.

Everything was delicious.

I'm just sorry I was in such a bad mood.

And I'd like to apologize.

That goes for me, too. I was mean, rude, and rotten all night.

Oh, Lou, don't apologize.

You were just being yourself.

Mary, I'd like to apologize to you, too.

I have a feeling everybody would like to apologize to everybody.

Yeah, you're right, Mary.

How could we have been so lousy to each other?

And on Christmas?

of all things.