All language subtitles for mary_tyler_moore_s05e07_a_new_sue_ann

Who can turn the world on with her
smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly
make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should
know it.

With each glance and every little
movement you show it. Love is all I

to waste it. You can never tell, why
don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all.

You're gonna make it after all.

Shopping for wedding presents on a
Saturday afternoon is slow torture.

I think torture's supposed to be slow,
Murray.

What would be the point of fast torture?

If it were anyone but Rhoda getting
married, I wouldn't have done it.

Well, she'll appreciate it, Burr. Gee, I
just hope she likes what we got.

It'll be a little difficult for her to
fly back to Minneapolis to exchange

Oh, she'll love everything, Mary. Who
wouldn't want silver on their dining

table? The Lone Ranger.

Sure is. These bows take forever to tie.

Now, let's see. This is the silver nut
dish that I got from Mr. Grant to send

her. Oh, excuse me. I think that is the
nut dish.

Yeah, this is my wine coaster.

No, this is the wine coaster.

Actually,

I think the wrapping was a little
overdone.

months and she was a hundred years
behind me in school sit down thank you i

i didn't mean to interrupt anything did
you just have a birthday or something oh

no they're wedding presents for a friend
is getting married ah half my class is

already married i'm like the old maid
you know right

Georgette might just have those presents
re -wrapped by then.

Nice meeting you too, Mr. Slaughter.

You know who else told me about you?

Mrs. Northfield.

My old English teacher. Oh, my. Your
biggest fan at Roseburg High.

Mary Richards this, Mary Richards that.

She never stopped talking about you. How
is she? Dead.

would have been unwrapped listen you
better mark it right away so we remember

which one it is

would

you like a cup of coffee oh no thanks i
can't stay mary i didn't mean to bother

you at home i well i just wanted to ask
you about your work uh -huh you want to

get into television right that's why i
looked you up Carla said you were the

everybody turned to when they needed
help, and I really need help.

Well, Gloria, I'd love to help, but
there just aren't any jobs open at WJM

now. I know. There are no jobs open
anywhere.

Well, I tell you what. Why don't you at
least come in Monday, and I'll show you

around anyway.

Oh, would you do that? Sure.

Oh, wow.

Oh, just to see the inside of a TV
station would be such a kick.

Well,

shall I call you or what? No, I tell
you, why don't you just come in about

How's that? Oh.

Oh, goodbye, Miss Franklin.

Bye. Gee, you're super.

Oh, come on. Just like Carla said.

All right, but listen, I'm not promising
anything, huh? Okay. Still, I can't

turn down Carla Munson's sister.

Goodbye.

Who is Carla Munson?

Say, I forgot to ask you, Mary. What did
I get Rhoda? Oh, a beautiful silver nut

dish. A nut dish?

Yeah.

that kind of nut dish?

And a guy on the next stool says, how
about shoving that down this way, Max,

somebody else can have a few, that kind
of nut dish?

Not exactly. No, this is a beautiful
silver dish with a tiny, delicate

of a leaf on one side. Very delicate.

Yeah. Well, one of my bars nicer.

It has a picture of Mr. Peanut.

How come your talk always sounds like
food?

Fudge. I need some interruption.

The station manager thinks my show needs
improvement.

You all laughed when I told you.

Lou, how do I get him off my back?

Station manager, huh?

I know Ed Schroeder pretty well.

He's always had a weakness for the
ladies.

If I were you, Sue Ann, well, you don't
want to hear my suggestion.

Dear Lou, dear cryptic, bashful, dirty
-minded Lou, I

suppose I owe him the courtesy of
listening to his vile suggestion.

my chin i noticed it was washing out
under the studio light so i darkened it

with a ballpoint pen looks like your
face has a little blue belly button

Charming child.

This is Gloria Munson. She'd like to get
into television.

Well, you've come to the right place,
Gloria.

Well, Ted actually already told her that
we have no job openings.

All I want is a chance.

Well, I might be able to pull a few
strings.

I'll do the lowest kind of unskilled
work.

Watch it, Ted. Competition.

Lou, you should be ashamed of yourself.

And thanks.

You know, Sue Ann, she is my idol.

My absolute favorite television
personality.

I don't believe I've met this adorable
and perceptive youngster.

Sue Ann, this is Gloria Munson. She's
looking for a job, but I... Is there any

chance that... that I could watch you
tape a show, Miss Nivens, in person? I

never miss it. I even watch your reruns.
I've seen your pêche flambé six times.

And I know your dumplings by heart.

Who doesn't?

It's a wonder you never became more
successful.

Miss Simmons.

Oh, call me Sue Ann.

Well, may I watch you, please?

Certainly. Is it all right, Mary? Yeah,
sure.

Perhaps I can help. I think television
needs bright young women.

Look at me.

I mean, to a certain extent, Mary.

I mean, I'm not just Sue Ann's stand
-in. She lets me help her out in every

I can. This morning, I peeled onions,
cleaned a fish, scoured the oven, and

unclogged a drain.

Oh, Mary, isn't show business just
wonderful?

Hi,

Mary. Hello, Mary.

Ed, I'd like you to know my new stand
-in, Gloria Munson.

Gloria, this is Mr. Schroeder, WJM's
station manager. Hello, Gloria. Oh, it's

such an honor to meet you, Mr.
Schroeder.

Wow, you look so young to have such an
important job.

Well, I'm...

Ed's been making some more suggestions.

Oh, what kind of suggestions? I thought
Sue Ann's show was very successful. Oh,

yeah, it is, Mary, but you can't rest on
yesterday's laurels. The public demands

change. You must have found that on your
show.

Oh, yeah, yeah, we try to change the
news almost every night.

Well, listen, I've got to get going. I
just wanted to say I think it's terrific

the way things are working out.

Sue Ann, I feel that your show needs
some changes, some new elements.

Frankly, Jane Q. Public is getting a wee
bit tired of the same old household

hints every day. The same old... The
same old hints?

Here's what I'm doing today.

Tell me if these sound like the same old
hints.

Lemon juice your knickknacks?

New life for your squeegee?

Moisten your suction?

Mr. Schroeder, I know it's not my place
to say anything, but I think Sue Ann's

show is just wonderful, and I think you
should be proud to present it on your

station.

What a sweet, generous, accurate thing
to say.

Of course, I'm sure there's not a TV
show in the world that couldn't stand a

changes. What sort of changes?

Well, since you asked, Sue Ann, I was
thinking this morning, wouldn't it be

terrific if...

Oh, you don't want to hear this?

That's right, dear.

No, no, please, go ahead. I'd like to
hear it. Well, with everyone so

with physical fitness these days, why
don't we demonstrate some calisthenics

housewives? That's very interesting.

As a matter of fact, it might appeal to
the male audience. After all, men love

to watch an attractive girl do
gymnastics.

Marvelous idea, Gloria.

I'll just lower the neckline on my
leotards.

What sort of exercises did you see me
doing?

Oh, something simple like this.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven,
eight.

Wait a minute. I have got a terrific
idea.

Sue Ann, you can describe the exercises,
and Gloria can demonstrate them.

On the air? Of course. Oh, no. Oh, yes.
Now, why don't you both work up

something for tomorrow's show? But...
Trust me.

It's going to be terrific.

Bye, Gloria.

Goodbye.

I can't believe it.

I'm actually going to be on television
tomorrow.

What do you think I should do for my
first exercise?

What about a headstand?

What did you want to talk to me about?

Mary, did you know the best time to cut
a flower is when the bud turns soft?

No, no, I didn't. What did you want to
talk to me about?

Well, just that Ed Schroeder now feels
that that exercise spot works better

Gloria doing the whole thing.

Oh, so you mean as well as demonstrating
them, she'll be describing them, too?

Yes. Did you know a lump of sugar will
make your rosebuds open faster? No, I

didn't. So, Ann, why do you keep
changing the subject?

Because I'm arranging flowers, dear.

If I concentrate on these aromatic
blooms, I can create a floral fantasy.

Whereas if I think about Gloria, I'm apt
to rip their smelly little heads off.

Look,

I think I understand how you feel. Mary,
let me fill you in.

Three days ago, he met her for the first
time.

The next day, he took her to lunch.

Last night, he took her to dinner.

Today, he's been calling her repeatedly
on the telephone.

Uh -huh. So she's sort of become his,
uh, protégé?

Oh, Mary, how well you put things.

His protégé. I do like that word.

Protégé. From the French.

Meaning your place or mine.

Little Miss Muffet is after my job. Oh,
come on, Sue Ann. Why does that have to

follow? All right, so she's dating the
program manager.

become good friends, very good friends,
assuming they do.

All right, all right, let's say they do.

Let's assume that she is doing what you
think she's doing. Why does that

necessarily mean she's going to get your
job?

How do you think I got it?

Isn't it delicious, Mary? Thank you.
What's it called?

Well, I don't think it has a name. It's
just a casserole. It's wonderful.

I love chicken and zucchini.

Georgette, this doesn't have either
chicken or zucchini.

I know, but I love them. And I also love
this.

So this reminded me of them.

Gotcha. We're going to Rhoda's wedding.

What reminded you of that?

That was a new thought.

i leave friday after work either mr
grant or murray will drive me to the

if i were you i'd have them both do it
just for the company i'm afraid of

i once had a very bad experience in an
airplane what happened it took off

somebody, okay?

Yeah, sure.

Hello, Georgia.

That looks good.

What is it?

Not zucchini.

Would you like some?

Oh, no thanks, dear.

As a rule, I enjoy amateur food.

I'm just too upset.

Schroeder's finally done it. What now?

Tomorrow, in addition to a regular
exercise spot, Gloria will also be

little baking demonstration.

her own baking spot on your show?

I don't know, dear.

Perhaps he has a weakness for tarts.

the station manager.

And he's not about to make a star out of
someone who's totally incompetent. Of

course not.

He's the one who hired Ted.

The secret of Zavaglioni Tarts is to
make the crust flaky as snow.

I'm sorry. I've got to turn the sound
down.

I just can't listen to her. I think
she's flaky as snow.

What's Juan doing during all this?

See, those are her hands passing the
ingredients.

See the ones with the very white
knuckles?

Something you're right, it's better with
the sound off.

Sure, besides, I can give you a play -by
-play.

With her left hand, she's stirring some
funny white glop with a wire thing that

has loops.

Now, with her right hand, she's pouring
the glop.

You know, a lot of little funny things
that look like falsies.

the technical term for falsies is pastry
shell.

I just can't believe it. Gloria seemed
so sweet.

Well, not to me.

I spotted Gloria the minute she walked
in here.

Something about her looked phony to me.

Maybe she was wearing pastry shells.

All I can't figure out is what that
dummy Schroeder sees in her.

I mean, I know he's the boss around
here, but I saw the show with my own

and my own objective opinion.

Glory was awful.

Good. Awfully good.

Wasn't she, guys?

Wasn't she something, that Glory?

Listen, there's going to be a
celebration down on the set, and I want

be there. Right behind you, Chief.

Have you tasted these?

Glory made them all herself. Have one.
Wonderful.

They're Napoleons. And after all, you
are our emperor.

Long live the emperor.

I'm so glad you could all come to our
little party.

People, you must try some of Gloria's
creations.

Have some croquembouche.

Ah, just my luck. I had croquembouche
for breakfast.

Mary, isn't Gloria's pastry delicious?

You know something, Sue Ann? You're
being more than sportsmanlike.

Yeah, you got a lot of class to win. A
champ.

Really, you're being terrific.

Just terrific. I'm impressed. Me too.

What are you up to?

Mary, can't you just accept the fact
that I'm bowing out gracefully?

No.

Folks at WJM, I guess it's no secret
that a star was born today.

It's no secret a star was born today.

Which, of course, is not to take
anything away from our own Sue Ann

has always done a super job.

Always done a super job.

Right.

Personally, I do not believe that a show
can operate efficiently with two stars.

Efficiently with two stars.

So here's my solution.

Maybe our station is better off without
stars.

After all, if we've got good people
working together as equals, who needs

Let's just do away with stars.

Schroeder, you're making a fool of
yourself over abroad.

Oh, boy.

What is it?

It ain't that, what do you call it, too
fast.

I think I gave myself a real bellyache.

Oh, Murr, that's too bad. I'll get you
some bicarbonate.

We all ate different things, Lou.

Why? I don't feel so good.

Me either.

Is it sort of like you swallowed a hot
mitten?

More like a percolator.

Now your knees shaky?

And I'm sweating behind the ears.

What is it?

Maybe we're in love.

Mustn't keep my public waiting.

We can't afford to lollygag.

Don't say gag, Ted.

You know something, Sue Ann? Suddenly,
I'm getting this awful suspicion.

Don't blame Gloria, Mary.

The child's a neophyte. She's green.

She's not the only one.

Understandable accident.

Hot lights will make cream go bad like
that.

You mean Gloria made the mistake of not
refrigerating the cream?

No.

mistake of asking me to do it.

Sue Ann, you knew and you stood there
and you let us eat that cream.

Mary, I ate it too, for the good of the
show.

After all, as I said to Gloria just now,
bending down to where she was lying

under the sink.

Can't stand the heat, dear. Get out of
my kitchen.

I've never yet missed our show.

Oh, I'm sorry, Lou, but it only lasts a
few hours.

Good evening, Mrs. Ted Baxter with
headlines and deadlines from around the

world, Washington.

In a statement on the economy released
earlier today, President Ford said...

able to go to New York, I would have
missed Rhoda's wedding. Don't worry. If

didn't show up, Rhoda would postpone the
wedding.

You ready?

Yeah. But listen, Mr. Grant, you don't
both have to drive me to the airport.

I want to go. They got a great bar at
the airport.

I want to check out their nut dish.

Well, Mayor, off to the airport, eh?
Yep.

Well, have fun in Fun City. Thank you,
Ted.

I just can't get over having that thing
hit me last night right on camera.

But if I do say so myself, I think I
cover pretty well.

I doubt if anyone even knew I was sick.

Except for that one time you looked into
the camera and yelled, if there is a

doctor within the sound of my voice,
please help me.

Oh, hi, Mary. I see you're off. Yep. Now
you have fun at that wedding. Oh,

thanks. And don't forget to kiss all the
ushers for me.

Sue Ann, you don't kiss the ushers in a
wedding.

Mary, dear, don't tell me how to have
fun at a wedding.