All language subtitles for mary_tyler_moore_s04e22_lous_second_date

Who can turn the world on with her
smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly
make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should
know it.

With each glance and every little
movement you show it, love is all alone,

need to waste it. You can never tell,
why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all.

What's wrong?

Oh, I don't know, Murray. I just feel so
tired.

My bones ache.

Well, maybe you're catching something.

Oh, I hope not. I hate being sick. I
hate lying in bed and having your

bring you these dumb word games that
they wouldn't play with you even if you

were a well person.

Having people send you these cards with
pictures of little puppies that have

thermometers in their mouths saying,
Hope you're up.

Listen, Mayor, I hope you're not, but
there is a bug going around.

Okay. And here it is now.

All right, gang, give it to me straight,
and don't pull any punches.

Ted, don't say something like that to
me.

But, Mayor, I want your opinion.

What do you think of my hair?

Well, you've got to be more specific,
Ted.

It is in a good location.

It's part of my new youthful image.

Granted, I thought that at one time
white added dignity, but now that I'm

dean of commentators, I think I can
dispense with that.

Yeah, I dispensed with mine 15 years
ago.

You know, Ted, it really doesn't look
any different.

But that's the beauty of this stuff. You
put a little dab on every day, and in

seven days, it turns jet black.

But it's so gradual that nobody knows...

I just talked to the station manager. He
says I have to take somebody to that

formal dinner he's having for the
department heads tonight.

He says it makes people uncomfortable if
one guy goes stag. Oh, well, Mr. Grant,

I tried to get you a date a couple of
months ago, and you know what a disaster

that was. Mary, I don't like this any
more than you do, but I have to go, and

have to take somebody.

I think I can help you, Lou. No, thanks,
Ted.

Girl for Lou.

Babs, Dee Dee, Trixie.

Ted. How come some of those girls have
Christmas seals next to their names?

Because it's too cheap to buy gold
stars.

Hey, look at that, Lou. Two and a half
seals.

Hello, Eunice.

This is Ted Baxter.

That's funny. She hung up.

I wonder how she knew I was calling for
you.

Mary, you must know someone.

Mr. Grant, don't you think you should
find your own date?

Mary, I'm... I don't know how to do that
sort of thing.

I haven't done that sort of thing since
before I married Edie. Well, things

haven't changed, Lou. You do it the same
way you did then.

Okay. Where's the nearest victory
canteen?

Listen, I'd like to help you, but I
just... I don't know anybody.

Well, you're right, Mary.

I won't ask you to find me a date. Thank
you, Mr. Grant. You can be my date.

Oh, Mr. Grant, I don't think that's such
a good idea.

I mean, you're my boss. If we went
out...

might start talking.

Oh, come on, Mary. Everybody knows I
don't like skinny girls.

Oh,

Mr. Grant.

Don't you look nice.

You're not dressed.

I know.

Hey, listen.

I don't want to go to this thing any
more than you do. But if we're late,

miss the best part, the drinking.

go with you tonight. Mary, you have to
go tonight. I have to take somebody.

But, Mr. Grant, I think that I'm really
coming down with something, something

big. Anyway, I talked to Rhoda, and she
said that she would be happy to go with

you. Rhoda? I don't want to go with
Rhoda, Mary.

But Rhoda's a lot of fun. You know,
she's a lot of laughs.

Hey, I don't want to go with someone
who's fun. I don't want to go with

who's a lot of laughs. I want to go with
you.

You like Rhoda. She dresses funny.

She doesn't. Well, what about the time
when we went to lunch together?

And she had on that T -shirt that said,
I live to boogie.

Mr. Grant, she won't wear a funny T
-shirt tonight.

I'm sorry you're not going to be there.
They really have great food there.

Oysters on a half shell.

Yeah. Now, we don't want to be late,
Rhoda, so why don't you run upstairs and

change?

Ted!

Ted! What happened to your hair?

What about my hair? I don't know what
you mean.

It's the same youthful shade it's always
been.

Oh, I just thought it was dirty.

She's sick. Hey, Murray, you think maybe
we ought to send her flowers? Yeah, you

already did.

Well, why didn't you ask me? I wanted to
sign the card. Why didn't you wait?

I wanted to send flowers to Mary, too.

I always want to send flowers, and I
always forget.

Remember the nice girl in personnel who
had a baby?

I wanted to send her flowers, and I
forgot.

Then later, when she left to get
married, I forgot again.

Mary, I care a lot about Mary, and I
want to send her flowers. Right, Lou. So

I.

Tell you what, you arrange for the
flowers, I'll send the card.

Hi, Lou.

Hi. Murray.

Hi. Oh, don't stop talking on my
account.

I'm not shocked by a little good earthy
man talk.

So go on.

What were you two men talking about?

Flowers.

Mary's home sick. We're sending her
something.

Oh, Lou, may I make a tiny suggestion?

Instead of flowers, why don't you
brighten Mary's sick room with a bowl of

goldfish?

Goldfish? What does she want with
goldfish? They're so practical,

their little bowl. They're jolly,
cheerful friends.

And then afterward, when they're dead,
they make wonderful fertilizer for her.

Anybody want half a tuna sandwich?

couldn't make it to the party last
night, I wish I had known. I could have

helped you out. I could have gone with
you.

I took Rhoda.

Oh, Lou, how lucky you were to find a
last -ditch alternative.

I had fun.

In fact, I really had a lot of fun.

Uh, listen, Sue Ann, I think I'll call
Mary and see how she's feeling.

Well, look, I just called to see how you
were feeling and to see if you got the

flowers I told Murray to send.

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Uh, look, Mary, have you by any chance
seen

Rhoda since, uh... Oh, yes, Mr. Grant.
As a matter of fact, she's sitting right

here.

Yeah, she was saying that she had a
really good time, too.

Yeah. Yeah, she says that you're some
dancer for a man of your height.

Say, Mary, do you think, I mean, you
know her pretty well, huh?

I mean, not that it matters.

I mean, it's no big deal.

But do you think she'd go out with me
again?

Gee, Mr. Granson, she's sitting right
here.

Why don't you ask her yourself?

Hi, Lou.

Oh, yeah, me too. It was a fun evening.

Great dinner.

Yeah. I loved having grapefruit at
night. So classy.

Oh, sure. Sure, anytime.

Oh, the hockey game Friday night sounds
terrific.

No, no, really. I love hockey. Yeah.

Yeah, and if it happens, I'm not doing
anything Friday night.

Yeah. Good, Lou.

You're right. You got yourself a date.
See ya.

Wow, Rhoda. Twice, huh?

Hey, you better watch it, kid. People
will start talking.

Paul, this is Rhoda. Listen, I have to
break our date Friday night.

I'm surprised your, um, friend hasn't
dropped in to help.

You mean Rhoda?

You can't say no to anyone.

I love how your wood drinks up this
polish.

As if it had been thirsty for months.

Yeah, I probably don't do it as often as
I should.

Chairs are like people, Mary.

They like to have their little backs and
legs...

I really must fly.

Sue Ann, thank you for everything.

Now, you be sure and take good, good
care.

Stay warm, avoid drafts, get sun, force
fluids, drain sinuses, inhale steam, eat

roughage, no pizza, and rest, rest,
rest.

And then every day, in every way, you'll
just get better and better.

That sounded like the graduation speech
at Oral Roberts.

Anne has been giving me.

I bet she didn't try the best. My Aunt
Miriam's. Oh, if all else fails, Aunt

Miriam said, change your name.

I'm not kidding.

Change the name. That way, the angel of
death cannot find you.

You know, too, Anne is really jealous of
your seeing Mr. Grant. Oh, yeah.

I mean, she's really curious about the
two of you.

I mean, she just so obviously wanted to
know what happened tonight. Yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah.

I mean, if she could have found the
words, I'm sure she would have just come

right out and asked you.

She asked me, you know, and I had to, of
course, tell her that I didn't know,

but that I was certain that when Rhoda
got ready to tell me, that Rhoda would

tell me. You know,

he's such a relief from the guys I've
been going out with.

There's no pressure.

There's no unspoken questions.

I mean, he's a man and I'm a woman, but
we can go out, have a great time, you

know, no big problem and no questions
asking yourself, you know, like, where

it leading?

Oh, yeah, right, because that can be a
drag. I mean, with Lou, a guy like that,

you don't face that awkward moment when
the guy takes you to the door. Lou

leaves you at the curb.

all your good mood, but Marie wants me
to ask you to come over for dinner

tonight. His sister is visiting us.
Again.

Gee, Marie, I can't. Good answer, Lou.

No, tell Marie thanks, but I'm having
dinner with Rhoda tonight.

Well, you know, I really think it's
terrific about you two.

What is terrific?

The situation.

There's nothing going on. There is no
situation.

Oh, come on, Lou. You and Rhoda have
become an item.

Oh, come on, Marie.

I'm very low.

Say, Lou, I hear you and Rhoda are going
out again.

That's right.

Well, I know you don't want my advice,
Lou, but I've had a little experience in

this area, and I... What is it, Lou?

Oh, sorry, Ted. I was just trying to
visualize a situation in which I would

your advice.

I just think a man ought to act his age.

Ted, you shouldn't wear those cheap hats
in the rain.

Taylor, frankly, I think you unrolled
our mistake.

You're entitled to an opinion, Ted, but
that's not it.

And I want that gook out of your hair by
lunch.

It's my personal hair, Lou, and what I
do with it.

is my business.

And my life is personal. What I do with
it is my business.

But, Lou, a recently separated man who's
seriously involved with a single girl,

people are going to talk about it. Ted,
we're not involved.

We go out, we have fun, we have a few
laughs.

She likes hockey. She likes an
occasional beer.

Sure, Lou.

There is nothing going on.

Didn't notice a thing.

So, how are you feeling?

Fine. You know, a little shaky. I didn't
feel like driving, so I had Rhoda drop

me off.

So, what's going on?

Nothing. There is nothing going on.

Nothing.

What's the matter with him?

Well, Lou's a little sensitive about his
thing with Rhoda.

What thing? Murray, come on. I talked to
Rhoda. The only thing that's going on

is that they went out a couple of times
and...

Come on, Bear.

Everybody knows that Lou and Rhoda are
an item.

I was talking to my mom about it last
night.

You know what she said?

There's no fool like an old fool.

There's one thing my mom can't bear is a
fool.

Now, if we could just get Lou back for
his senses.

Sue Ann.

Now, look, I think they make a charming
couple. Murray, will you stop saying

that? Oh, I don't blame Rhoda. Any
single girl is attracted to an older

They are?

Oh, of course. How else do you account
for the parade of chorus girls and

starlets on the arms of silver -haired
gentlemen?

Say, Murray, if any... If anybody wants
me, I'll be in the makeup room borrowing

some shampoo.

Hiya, Walt.

Hiya, Rhoda. Here, you left your
umbrella in the car. Oh, and I was

you went out far, you'd get wet. Thank
you.

Rhoda, gossip may not bother you, but
others could get hurt.

What? Listen, Rhoda. Listen, you just
stay and hang in there. You can really

lick this thing.

Rhoda, don't pay any attention to either
one of them. They don't know what

they're talking about.

to cancel dinner this evening, I'll
understand.

I don't want to cancel dinner tonight.
Well, neither do I. But I can

I mean, I don't care myself about, you
know, but maybe you do.

No, no, I don't care. Good, I'll see you
tonight. No, of course not. Tonight,

yeah. Care about what?

Mary? Ted?

Will you tell me what's going on in his
office?

I mean, what is the big secret that I'm
not in on?

It's hair coloring, Rhoda. I'm really an
older man.

I've had so many dinners, I thought I'd
make dinner for you tonight.

Come on in.

Come in. I thought we'd, you know, go
out to dinner.

Lou, it's all made.

Sit down.

You want a drink?

Yeah, I could use a drink.

Okay, I got Mogan David Blackberry.

Oh, no, that's a little too sweet for
me.

Right. I like it myself.

Sometimes I freeze it and make
popsicles.

Well, now, wait.

Here's a bottle of something brown. I'll
take it. I'll take it.

Well, listen, it's founded in 1849, a
good year. Oh, one of the best.

Okay. Good. I'm glad I have it.

You know, this is the first time I've
been alone

with you in your apartment.

Ted started to sing, I Gotta Be Me.

Yeah, well, anyway, it's the first time
I've been here since you and I became an

item.

An item? Who thinks we're an item?

Ted. Oh, who cares?

The only man in the world who takes the
phone off the hook to watch Yogi Bear.

It's too well.

Next.

Chuckles the clown.

Uncle Oompa the poker friend.

I guess the only one who doesn't think
that we're an item is Mary.

Well, thank heavens for Mary.

At least there's one realistic person
who knows that there's nothing going on

between us. Right, good.

I don't know if it's a Scotch or Mary,
but I'm feeling a lot better.

Terrific. Yeah,

come in there. Here are the earrings you
wanted to borrow.

Oh, yeah. Hi, Mr. Grant. Hi, Mary.

Listen, kid, I won't be needing them.

I decided to stay in tonight.

Oh.

Oh, well, then I'll just trot back down
to my little apartment and put the

earrings away.

I have this little box that I keep them
in.

Well, unless you think you'd maybe
change your mind. You'd want to go out

You didn't want to. Do we? Do you?

No. Well, then you have no use for them.

I can't have dinner. Oh, come on. No,
thank you. No, you can't. Really, no. Uh

-uh. No, I've got a lot to do. I've got
to put my earrings away.

Goodbye.

Did you get the feeling that she was the
tiniest bit ill at ease?

I've known Mary for four years. This is
the first time she's been unable to look

me straight in the eye while discussing
earrings.

Is there something going on between us
that we don't know about?

think so.

Then why is it suddenly so complicated?

Yeah, this whole thing is getting
awfully complicated for a hockey game.

The minute something nice starts to
happen, people come along and louse it

for you. Yeah.

Everybody sure managed to take the fun
out of it, didn't they?

Listen, I don't mind gossip about me. In
fact, I used to start it.

But see, you... Listen, you gotta work
with all those people.

So maybe, you know.

Yeah.

But listen, it's been swell.

Really fun.

Yeah.

And the heck of it is, I really like
you.

Oh.

And I really like you too, Lou.

Really.

No, no, it's not gonna bother us. Okay.

Now the North stars are meeting the
Rangers tomorrow. Do you want to go? Do

want to go? I don't want to miss that
game.

Listen, I'll, uh, I'll pick you up at
the newsroom. No, no, no, no, no.

I'll, uh, I'll pick you up here at the
apartment.

Tell you what, let's just meet at the
game.

Well, actually, Ted sent the card.

Oh, yes, I know.

Huh. Well, who else would send a picture
of Ted inscribed, thanks for watching

and get well soon?

Hi, Lou.

Hi. See, Lou, now that you have your
life to yourself again, I was wondering

perhaps you and I could get together
tonight.

Terrific, Sue Ann.

Yeah. Tell you what.

I'll meet you right after work, and
we'll go over to the driving range and

bucket of balls.

Oops.

Silly me.

I'd love to, but I just remembered I
have a big show tomorrow, and I have to

breadcrumb my chicken parts.