All language subtitles for mary_tyler_moore_s04e20_better_late_thats_a_pun_than_never

Who can turn the world on with her
smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly
make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should
know it.

With each glance and every little
movement you show it, love is all

need to waste it. You can never tell,
why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all

I'm going to rescue you from whatever it
is you're doing because tonight is the

last night of the Paul Newman, Robert
Redford movie.

Both of them, Mary, together in the same
picture. Two fantasies for the price of

one. No.

Don't tempt me, Rhoda. I can't. Mary,
please. You're not hearing me now.

Newman, Redford, you, me.

You can have first choice. I'll take
leftovers.

Rhoda, I'd love to, but I can't. I've
got to bring our obituary file up to

Obituary file? Yeah, you know, the ones
that we do in advance so that if

somebody suddenly dies, then Ted doesn't
just have to hum taps.

And I will never get it finished by
tomorrow morning. Okay, okay, okay.

You got me. What do you mean?

Oh, Mary, please. You think I don't
recognize that old routine?

Sure. That's the famous get -the -other
-person -to -help -you -write

-obituaries ruse.

Works every time.

So, what letter are we up to here?

A.

I am exhausted.

Mary, where are those terrific cookies?

You know, the ones with all the big
blob, that really great stuff?

Oh, we finish those at one.

How about those other not -so -terrific
cookies with the one little blob of the

not -so -good stuff?

Oh, yeah, we finish those at two.

Well, have we got any of those little
dry, nothing, no -taste crackers?

The ones that people buy because they
figure, well, they're Norwegian.

We finish those at three.

Well, well, that must mean it is now
exactly a quarter.

to Melba Toast.

You know, this is only funny because
it's four in the morning, right? And we

punchy. Now, Mary, look, let's get
organized here. We have got to finish.

I know. I mean, be serious. All right,
okay, all right, organized. Yes, indeed,

serious.

Mary, I'm surprised at you. You have got
to get this finished. Okay. I mean,

that wasn't funny.

But this is.

W. We're up to the Ws.

Welch, Raquel. Raquel Welch. Raquel
Welch. Oh, this is going to be easy.

Raquel Welch is a bitch, you're very
sure. Okay.

One thing for positive.

We know she didn't drown.

There were other citizens of Minneapolis
who were older.

citizens of Minneapolis who are older.

Tell me it wasn't yours. Well, actually,
Mr. Grant, yes.

That was yours. I see. It was yours.

You better be here first thing in the
morning. Mr. Grant? First thing in the

morning, Mary.

I can't believe it. I just don't believe
it. Yeah?

I don't think you should kid around with
a guy's obituary.

I mean, what's Swee Willie's mom going
to say?

never seen Mr. Grant the way he was last
night.

I mean, I've seen him yell. I've seen
him be sarcastic.

I've never seen him be so mad that he
couldn't talk.

Mary, do you think everything's going to
be all right? Sure.

I'd bet Ted's life on it.

Can I see you a minute, Mary?

What I wanted to say, well,

it isn't exactly an excuse.

Mary, there's no excuse for what
happened. You're right, you're right. Of

course, there is no excuse, but there is
a, well, a sort of explanation. Mary,

there's no explanation for what
happened. That's true, I know, I know.

well, there's a kind of a half reason.

Mary, there's no reason for what
happened.

Maybe,

maybe you'll understand what I'm about
to do if I tell you a little story.

Yes, Mr. Grant, yes.

It's about this newsman.

It's a story that every newsman has
heard.

Uh -huh. Yeah.

Well, when I was on the paper... Hmm.

When I was on the paper in Detroit,
there was this rewrite man. Uh -huh.

Quiet guy.

Played chess at lunch, you know, that
kind of guy. Yeah, yeah.

Well, what he'd do was, on the
basketball game scores,

they'd put the name of the referee in

tiny type that nobody would ever read.

Well, he'd put in a dirty word in Latin.

a few doctors would have a good laugh.

Well, Mary, he was 64 years old.

He had five months to go to his pension,
and they found out, and they fired him.

Don't you see, Mary?

They had to.

It was just a little joke to him, but
they had to fire him.

Because you can take any liberty you
want in any other area.

You can kid around all you want.

But the news is sacred.

If it was anybody else, I wouldn't have
this problem as to what to do. But it's

you. Well, Mr. Grant, I don't want any
special treatment.

Well, this is the kind of thing they
fire people for. Mr. Grant, I'd

any special treatment.

Mr. Grant?

Hey, Mr. Grant.

I, uh... I'm really sorry, Mary.

You have to be punished.

I've decided to put you on suspension.

Suspension? Two weeks without pay,
effective now.

Oh, I see.

I'm... I'm really sorry.

Lou, do you know how long I've been
waiting outside to talk to you about my

blazer?

Look at this.

Everybody freeze.

Ted,

I can't talk to you now.

Oh, Mary, you have time for it. Sure,
sure.

Every time Mary says something, it's a
big deal.

Oh, what is it? What is it? Mary find a
new bow?

My new little outfit.

I need a new blazer.

Just passing by.

Granted you?

Well, that's ridiculous.

I mean, how can he treat you that way?

I mean, it's humiliating.

Mary, he's treating you like you're some
kid who misbehaved in school.

Boy, does that kick me off.

I'm going to go in there and talk to
him. No.

I'll do it.

Yeah?

May I speak to you, Mr. Grant?

Can't, Mary. You're on suspension.

Murray, and I can't allow myself to be
treated like a kid who got caught

throwing spitballs in school.

Either you fire me or you keep me on,
but I just cannot take any kind of

suspension, and if you do that, Mr.
Grant, then I'm not coming back.

Mary, I thought about it overnight. Why
don't you think about it? Well, no, I

don't have to think about it overnight.
I'm not changing my mind.

Well... I'm not changing my mind.

Well... Well... Well, I guess that's
that.

If that's your choice, Mary.

That's my choice.

Okay, then.

Did you tell him?

Yeah, I told him, and it turns out I'm
not coming back.

You shouldn't have told him.

Don't worry, I'm glad I told him. Oh,
Mary, I did this.

I mean, I got mad and you got fired.

No, look, Murray, I don't want to talk
about it now. I'll call you later, okay?

Mary, I don't believe this has happened.
Yeah, I know.

What is it?

Why are people saying each other's
names?

Well, goodbye, Murray.

Goodbye.

Why is Mary saying goodbye? Why is she
crying? Why is she walking toward the

door?

Why is she opening the door?

Why is she turning around and looking
like a lost deer in the forest?

Why is she crying again? Although I
asked the question before and nobody

answered why.

Murray, can I ask you a question?

Before I get a new blazer, should I
change the color?

Why are you so upset?

Why don't you break the pencil?

Why am I hanging around here?

So, then he said that of all the women
that he had interviewed, that I was

for the job. He said I was wonderful and
I had a terrific personality.

I take that as a compliment, Mayor.

He said he thought we'd be too tempted.
Can you imagine this drab, colorless,

married man, and he decides that we
would be too tempted?

He shouldn't have said that.

Drab, colorless men don't have an easy
time of it, but they've got to learn

consideration the same as other people.

You know, I just can't believe that this
is happening, that I'm actually looking

for a job.

Thanks, Mary. I've lost enough.

You know, I felt so bad about starting
that whole Raquel Welsh thing in the

first place. Oh, come on. So what I did
was, I went to see Lou.

Oh, Rhoda, no.

You didn't. Rhoda, that was exactly the
wrong thing to do.

What did he say?

Well, wait. No, wait. Let me get the
coffee on. I don't want to be

Shall we?

Okay. Tell me everything.

Don't leave anything out. He wouldn't
see me.

In that case, Mary, I'd like cream and
sugar.

Well, I'll probably find out what Mr.
Grant's thinking tomorrow.

Gonna have lunch with Murray.

He'll fill me in.

Oh, Mary, I feel so bad.

I wish you were in love.

Well, I don't think being in love would
change anything.

Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to
turn to somebody you love, truly love,

and be able to say, Oh, darling, I'm so
miserable I could kill myself.

No, no chance. He's in the big meeting.

Oh, good, good.

Boy, you look just wonderful.

Oh, and the place looks just great, too.

Yeah. Oh, Murr.

I just know everything's going to work
out all right. I just know it. No doubt

about it, Mayor.

Oh, excuse me. You're sitting in my
chair.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Newsroom.

Yes, I'll have Mr. Grant take care of it
right away.

Mary, this is Erica Jordan.

Erica, Mary Richards. Oh, hi.

How are you? Hello, Mary.

Hi.

I know how uncomfortable you both are.

Erica here knows how much we love Mary.

On the one hand, Mary's a friend, but on
the other, Erica's new and needs my

guidance.

What'll I do?

How will I play it?

Well, um, excuse me.

Mary?

Very, very nice.

Oh, Mary.

Just so there's no misunderstanding, I'd
like to explain something.

This thing with you and Lou, well, I'm
really sick about it.

I mean, I really feel rotten for you. I
really feel bad for you. I just want you

to know that I'm on your side. I'm on
your corner.

Thank you, Ted. Thanks.

But you know how Lou is when he gets in
one of his moods.

I figure there's no percentage in
everybody suffering, everybody getting

head chopped off. You know what I mean?

So what I'm doing is...

Lou, but you and I know that I'm really
behind you.

Got it?

Got it.

Mary, you didn't tell me you were coming
in.

Oh, well, no, I was just, you know,
going to just slip in and slip out, no

deal.

Well, hi.

Hello.

Look who come crawling back.

enough to eat anything.

Why don't you take a walk with us?

Oh, I can't, Murray.

Thanks anyway.

Nice to see you, Mary.

Oh, nice.

What did you think? How did it seem? Did
it seem like it was softening at all? I

know how it seemed, like nothing has
changed.

Well, look, I know you've got work to
do, so I'll let you get to it.

Listen, you want to eat across the
street or downstairs? Wherever they have

drink.

Oh, Murray, that was a terrific lunch.

Really good. Oh, you wanted your address
book. Oh, right.

Hey, Mayor, you're going to be okay.

Yeah, I'm okay already.

Well, I'll tell you something, Murray,
it's a relief, you know.

I'm glad you're taking it this way, ma
'am. Yeah, really, I'm fine.

Listen, give my love to Marie, will you?
Yeah. And I'll call you really soon.

Okay. Okay, bye -bye. Bye, ma 'am.

I've never done anything like that
before in my life.

I'm usually, you know, so in control of
myself.

And then, boy, suddenly, I've just never
done anything like that in my

life. Well, really, it's all right.

Thank you. Yeah, it's okay.

So, you want to come back?

Everybody mad at me for what I did to
you. Going around giving me dirty looks,

glaring at me over their coffee cups.

Somebody came in here during the night
and broke all my pencil points.

I don't know why they're all so mad at
me.

What did I do? I mean, I missed you as
much as anybody.

More.

And I miss you so much.

And I want to come back, but now I see
it's too late.

sitting in my chair.

Oh, is there some other person sitting
in your chair?

Erica, would you take something to
personnel for me?

I've got to finish the last of these
obituaries.

Listen, I'll give you a hand.

No, no, that's okay. I'll just barrel
right through and get them finished. Oh,

Mary, I wouldn't kid around this time.

Not after what you've been through, kid.
Please.

Really, I really, really will be serious
about it. Sure.

Let's do Robert Redford.

When Robert Redford departed, those
closest to him claimed to have heard him

one word, one last word, over and over.

And this one word was... Rhoda.

There was no clue as to what this
strange word meant to Redford.

But many believe it was probably the
name of his sled.