Original subtitles

Who can turn the world on with her smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should know it.

With each glance and every little movement you show it. Love is all alone,

need to waste it. You can never tell, why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it at the...

Thank you, Mary.

Who's the man of the year this time?

Lucille Harris from Channel 10.

Lucille Harris.

Man of the year.

Good choice.

Lou got two tickets to the dinner. Who's he going with?

Gee, I don't know.

He must be taking somebody.

Well, maybe he and Edie are getting back together. No, no, I don't think so. He

told me the other day. They haven't spoken in weeks.

Well, I guess he has a date.

I guess so. I wonder who it could be.

Morning, guys.

Morning.

Thanks, Mayor. Who stole the award from me this year?

Lucille Harris.

Lucille Harris, Man of the Year?

That's right, Ted.

That sounds strange.

Yes, it does.

I wonder why his mother called him Lucille.

You don't think he's... Ted, Lucille Harris is a woman.

Oh, good.

I'd much rather have a woman be Man of the Year than some guy named Lucille.

By the way, Marie says the babysitter can come early, so we'll be able to drop

by for drinks before the dinner. Oh, good.

Oh, I didn't even think to ask Mr. Grant. I better ask him.

I wonder who his date could be.

Come in.

Um, Mr. Grant, I'm having a few people over to my place before the dinner on

Friday night.

What dinner?

With the man of the year dinner.

Anyway, not a lot of people. You know, just Marie and his wife and Ted and

Georgette and...

So I thought that maybe you and your... What?

Date.

What date?

Well, I just assumed that you were taking somebody. I mean, you ordered two

tickets.

Oh, yeah.

Of course I haven't, Mary.

After you've been married 26 years, you always tend to think in terms of twos.

I've got to stop that.

Look,

I know this may not be any of my business, but could I say something

No. Mr. Grant.

Why don't you take someone to the dinner? I don't want to.

Why not?

You already paid for two dinners.

Okay, then.

I'll eat two dinners.

Mr. Grant.

Better yet, I don't think I'll go at all.

Oh, come on, Mr. Grant. You know you have to go, and you know you hate to go

these things alone.

You're right.

Maybe I should take a date to that dinner.

Right.

Mary, see if you can get my wife on the phone.

Okay.

Mackenzie? Yeah, I ran into her the other day. She said she went back to

her maiden name.

Thank you. She's coming on the line.

Stay.

Hello? Edie?

This is Mr.

Mackenzie.

Yeah, I'm fine. How about you?

Mm -hmm.

Good, good.

Listen, Edie, you know that broadcaster's man of the year dinner

have? Yeah, yeah.

Well, I got an extra ticket. Yeah.

I'll see you Friday.

Is she coming?

Yeah, she's coming.

To somebody else.

Oh, Mr. Grant.

It's going to be kind of strange seeing Edie there with another man.

All right.

That's the way she wants it?

Okay. I mean, there are plenty of women in the world.

Right. And I bet a lot of them would be happy to go with me to that dinner.

Oh, you bet they would.

Sure. She can get a date.

Of course you can. Mary, get me a date.

Well, listen, if you think of anyone, could you call me back?

Come in.

Okay, thank you. Bye -bye.

Mia, you know how I hate borrowing things from you, but have you got a

that goes with this jacket?

Yeah, I think so. I figured, since this is your jacket.

Hey, you look great. Where are you going? I'm going to the sports arena.

I have a date with the left wing.

hockey player. Oh. I met him last time his team was playing in town.

I had a seat right next to the penalty box.

And you just started talking to him? Sure, sure. I said, excuse me, is this

tooth?

Oh, Mary, that's perfect.

So, you want to come with me tonight?

Oh, no, I don't think so, Rhoda. I still haven't found a date for Mr. Grant. I'm

just hoping someone will call me back.

You're so stupid, Mary. I almost forgot. I got somebody for you.

What? Yeah, yeah. A woman from my modern dance class.

Listen, she's a warm, good person. Very attractive. Very intelligent.

Her husband died about a year ago. And I have a feeling that she and Lou would

really like each other. So here's her number.

I'll give her a call. Mary, I love her. Really, she's wonderful.

Well, listen, don't you think you ought to call her? She doesn't like me.

Rhoda, if she doesn't like you, how can I possibly call her? Mary, I was just

kidding then.

I mean, of course she likes me. A person has to like me if I like them, right? I

mean, I'm a likable person. You like me. I like you. Call her. She'll like you.

Thanks for the ball. And the jacket.

You do like me, don't you?

ask you to go out with somebody you don't even know at all.

Call Mrs. Dudley and cancel it. No, I won't. I don't want to discuss it, Mary,

please.

Let me handle this, Mary.

Lou, let's talk man to man.

I think they're one short.

Lou, there are two kinds of people in this world. There are men and there are

women.

You with me so far, big fella?

Now, men have certain needs.

Basic animal needs.

Ugly needs.

They can only be satisfied by... Women? Exactly.

Now, these needs are nothing to be ashamed of, Lou. All men have these

You have them, I have them.

Even President Nixon.

for these needs to go unsatisfied.

Is it normal? Is it healthy?

So, what do you say, Lou?

I say Nixon should take Mrs.

Dudley to that dinner.

I don't think I got through to him, guys.

Mr. Grant, are you sure you won't change your mind?

Yeah, come on, Lou. It'll be fun, all of us going out together.

You, me, Mary, Ted.

I never know when to stop.

I know why.

It's because you think this woman will think you're not an attractive man,

right, Lou?

You're afraid she'll think you're a short, bald, overweight, middle -aged

A lot of women like that.

Mary, will you please call Mrs.

Dudley? I am not going out with some woman I never met before.

What will we talk about?

Oh, Mr. Grant, she's an intelligent woman. You can talk about anything.

Call her.

about making conversation.

What does anybody talk about when they're on a date?

Call her. What do I talk about?

What does Ted talk about? What does anybody talk about?

Call her.

What does Edie talk about when she's on a date?

Why'd you do that?

Well, what do you mean?

Tell me, Mary.

Do you really believe that it bothers me that Edie thinks I can't get a date?

Do you really?

No. Are you wrong?

Call your Mrs. Dudley and tell her I'll see her at your place.

Yeah, they share an apartment. What's she doing here anyway?

Rhoda, you gave me a phone number. You told me to call Mrs.

Dudley. Sure.

Yes, Mrs. Ellen Dudley. Not Mrs. Martha Dudley. Mary Martha Dudley's got to be

80 years old.

for me.

You know, these old fingers don't always do what I tell them to.

Hello there.

Oh, hello, Rhoda dear. Oh, what a beautiful corsage. Lou brought it for

he? Mm -hmm. Oh, have some cheese puffs. Oh, thank you. Nice and hot. Thank you,

dear. How about you, Lou?

No.

Excuse me.

I want to talk to Mary for a minute.

What kind of a day?

How were you to know that I wanted somebody under 90?

She's just got to be told.

Mia, where's Martha's drink? You're starting to choke on the cheese puffs.

It's all right, dear.

I'll take it to her.

He's not taking it well.

There you are.

Oh, thank you, Lou.

You know, Mrs.

Dudley... Call me Martha.

very pretty outfit you have on.

Oh, thank you, Lou.

I got it just for tonight.

That's very becoming.

You know, this

dinner tonight is very important to me.

You see, this will be the first time I have taken a woman out.

since my wife and I separated.

Oh, Lou, I know just how you feel.

It was two years after my husband passed away before I started dating again.

But believe me, Lou, tonight is going to do you a world of good.

Excuse me.

Go through with it. I mean, it's just for one night.

She's a sweet, lovely lady you have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed

Yeah, maybe you're right.

What's it be embarrassing?

Thank you.

Have you and Mr. Grant been going together long?

No.

This is our first date. We met through Mary.

You know, Mr.

Baxter, you look very familiar to me.

Oh, you've probably seen me on television.

No, I don't watch television.

of robbing the old cradle.

But on the other hand, she's not bad.

Actually,

she's kind of cute, you know. And it grows on you. Got nice legs.

Mr. Grant, Martha has had such an interesting life. Did you know she was

flowering?

You know.

I'll go with you, Andy. I always like to take a walk after a dinner.

Until he's sure the check's paid.

Say, Lou, where's Edie? Where?

Just getting up.

They headed this way?

No, they're leaving.

Say, Ted, why don't you and I go stretch our legs, hmm? Well, all right, but we

still won't be as tall as Mike.

I say, Edie, Mike.

Boy, that Edie's doing all right for herself, isn't she?

Well, how you been?

Terrific. Terrific.

You? Fine.

Did you bring somebody to the dinner?

Oh, yeah.

See, Edie?

Nice, Mary, you too.

Hello. Hello.

Oh, Edie, this is Martha Dudley, a friend of Mary's.

How do you do?

Well, nice seeing you, Edie. You too, Mike.

Come with me for a second. Well, of course. We'll be glad to.

Uh, excuse us.

Uh, Edie, there's something I didn't make clear before.

Martha, Mrs. Dudley, isn't just Mary Shred.

She's my date.

It's so nice to meet you, Mrs. Dudley.

Thank you. Nice to meet you.

Did you know that Martha was the

flower girl at Thomas Alva Edison's wedding?

You want to dance?

I'd love to, Lou.

Excuse us.

that taught me this step.

Come on, George.

No, Ted, I don't want to.

He wants to dip.

You want to change partners?

Okay.