Original subtitles

Who can turn the world on with her smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should know it.

With each glance and every little movement you show it. Love is all

need to waste it. You can never tell, why don't you take it?

The thing I like about our snowman is he has a very nice personality. You're

right. Good listener.

And a nice, broad smile.

Well, he'd have had a broader smile if we hadn't run out of coal. Right.

Oh, Stephen, look at our snowman.

Gee, I wish I knew someone to fix him up with. He seems so lonely out there. I

know. Hey, you know any nice snow ladies?

Nice apartment.

Oh, thank you. I just redecorated.

I like your snowfall, too.

First snowfalls are terrific, huh? They are one of life's great firsts.

Listen, Mary.

Before I go, I think I should tell you.

You were great out there today. The way you rolled the head and all.

Oh, well. I mean, most girls I know don't roll.

They kind of mush.

Yeah. Well, I've never been a musher.

Ma 'am, can you get the door?

Forgive my foliage.

I'm babysitting with Rhoda's plant. She's going skiing for a couple of days.

you picked a good time for it. Yeah, I always try to wait for winter.

I've got my gloves on. That must mean I'm leaving.

Hey, Stephen, thank you for a terrific Sunday.

Yeah, it was super.

Bye, Mary.

Bye.

frolicking through the snow?

Yeah. Ah, another one of those great life things that come free with straight

teeth and button noses.

Mary, sometimes I think you live in a shampoo commercial.

What?

Well, you know those shampoo commercial girls, they're always getting rid of

their split ends and falling in love outdoors.

Hey, Rudy, you know what we did today?

What? Angels in the snow.

What is that, a Weight Watchers recipe for pretend ice cream?

about you come on they did it in love story you lie down in the snow and you

flap your arms and your legs back and forth together and that's how you make

angels in this you did that yes listen

i'm gonna do it this week skiing maybe i'll get mistaken for ali mcgraw

Insecurity is half the fun, right? Hey, have a good time. Oh, thanks, kid. Bye

-bye. Oh, about Fern there.

All you have to worry about is that she gets lots of water and lots of love.

Not too much love, Fern. You get pregnant, I'm not paying for the

real chipper moods, aren't you?

Well... One of those I might start humming any time moods, right?

Well... Well, I'm not in one of those moods.

I'm in one of those I hate Monday's guts moods.

Mad again, huh?

Well, my wife thought it was hilarious when the blizzard came up right after I

put the full fertilizer on the lawn.

She said we'd have the greenest snow on the block.

Now, look, don't think I'm taking this out on you, Mary. No, I don't. Because

I'm going to take this out on everybody.

All right, Mayor.

Hey, Mayor, how's the boy?

You're Ted.

Does it worry you that you're Ted?

Well, was your weekend as great as mine, Mayor?

Yeah, Ted, it was a pretty nice weekend.

Guess what I did on my weekend?

I'll give you a hint.

My weekend was sin -sational.

Ted, we don't want to hear about it.

What did you do this weekend, Mr. Grant?

Oh, my granddaughter's hamster died and I had to go to the funeral.

Hey, don't you get it?

Sin -sational?

I just hope they cry like that when I die.

Come on, guys.

I didn't get to tell what I did on my weekend.

I'll wheel you off, Mayor, and I'll give you another hint.

Newsroom?

Stephen, hi.

Hey, you remembered that I work here.

Gee, I'd love to, but I can't take the day off now. I mean, I'm already in the

day.

Well, about the earliest that I could take the day off would be 7 o 'clock

tonight.

Okay, I'll see you then.

All right, I promise to act like it's morning. Bye.

All right.

on my weekend.

I got consummated.

large. They use margarine in their hot -buttered rum.

What about the skiing?

The skiing?

A disaster.

I found out my center of gravity is somewhere in New York.

Come on, you're a good skier. No, Mary, you're confusing me with you.

Remember last year? You were better than I at skiing.

I was better than you at standing in the lobby, going in the elevator, being in

my room. Those are my specialty areas, yes.

Gee, that smells good. What is that?

Tarragon chicken.

Tarragon. Well, that's one of those spices that nobody really knows what it

They all pretend they do. Well, Stephen likes it.

Stephen?

Flapping in the snow, Stephen?

Yeah.

Mary, are you seeing him a lot?

Well, yeah, I guess so.

No kidding.

Gee, that's interesting.

What do you mean, that's interesting?

No, I'm just, I'm surprised, because he doesn't seem to be your type.

Oh, yeah?

Well, what type did he seem to be?

Oh, listen, maybe I shouldn't even have brought it up. I mean... silly.

But you know me once I get started.

Now, now, forget it.

No, go ahead. What?

Well, Mary, uh, it's just that Stephen seems short.

Short? In age. He's a little short in the age, Mary.

Yeah, I know. But come on, age doesn't make any difference. I mean, what's two

or three years?

It's true. I agree with you. Age doesn't make any difference. And it's more than

two or three years.

You think he's 30?

I'd say he's 30, 31, 29.

27, maybe 27 and a half. Come on, 27. Does it bother you?

No. I just happen to know he's older than 27. Listen, there are ways to find

his age. Joda, I'm not interested in finding out his age.

How? Good.

Can I come in? The wine and me have to be served at room temperature.

If the wine has a cute name, he's under 30.

Enjoy your tarragon, you two.

Bye, Rhoda. Bye.

This must be good wine. It has a cork.

Hey, Rhoda's a great girl.

Yeah, but she's not a girl.

Oh?

I mean, she's 33.

Oh, yeah? My sister's 33.

Hey, Stephen, I'm 33.

Oh. How old are you?

25.

think this is you.

Well, we're here. Let's look around. We might find something we like.

No, kid. The flying bondinis wouldn't find anything they like.

Harry, look at this. I mean, you put on these boots, you start walking towards

sailors.

This is kind of cute, don't you think?

Mary, I hate this store.

I mean, it's trying too hard.

I like a store that's happy to just lie there and rip me off.

I can't hear you.

Shot down in Ecuador Junior.

What does that mean?

Well, you know, hey, I just work here, you know.

Mary, why are we in this place?

Because I'm all out of other places and I've got to find something to wear to

the party Stephen's taking me to.

the stuff in your regular places. Usually you like the stuff in your

places. I'm having trouble finding my size.

Oh, Mary, this store doesn't use anything as mundane as sizes.

These clothes are divided according to astrological sign.

You, my dear, take a bow.

Oh, I wonder if shy people shop here.

in white in medium?

I only have the orange top in white in small.

Oh, well, do you have the pink top in green in medium?

I may have the pink top in white in medium.

Could you check?

Sure. Thank you.

Mary, Mary, listen to this.

Even when it's raining.

Even when it's nighttime.

Those are too young for you.

Rhoda, what does that mean?

Mary, I know you're upset and uptight because you're going to meet Stephen's

friends for the first time at his party. And you are trying to fit in.

Suddenly you're not Mary Richards.

You're Mary Richards' teen queen. Ah, come on.

You wouldn't do that to me. Sure you would. Look, kid, anybody would.

Anyone who's feeling funny about an age thing. Rhoda, I just want to find

something cute to wear to the party, okay?

Okay, okay. Did you find any tops?

I'm sorry, we're closed.

be right about the clothes thing. But the age thing is no big deal, you know?

mean, except for the clothes thing, the age thing would never occur to me. Did

you ask Stephen his age?

Yes, I did. Did he tell you?

Yes. What?

I forgot.

I... Some number.

Mary, Ted just asked me if he could dedicate the news.

Dedicate the news?

To Dottie in memory of a wonderful weekend.

Hiya, babe.

Oh, Stephen. Hi.

Oh, Mr. Grant, I'd like you to meet Stephen Linder.

Oh, nice to meet you, sir.

Well, what are you doing here so soon? Am I late or are you early?

Oh, well, we had to move the party to my place, so I have to get there early.

So, uh, you ready?

Uh, no. I'm right in the middle of... Well, can't you just duck out?

No, I can't. I'm one of the ones who tells on people who duck out. Oh.

Okay, well, uh, I guess I'll just go on over and you can meet me there.

Okay. Listen, I'll ask... Rhoda to come to the party. Is that all right? Oh,

sure. You got the address, right? Right.

Okay.

See you later.

Nice to meet you, sir.

Yeah.

Uh, Mary?

We're friends, right?

Right. Huh?

I mean, we've skirted around some pretty heavy issues together, right?

Right. Yeah.

Well...

I'm going to put this as gently as I can, Mary.

You are ruining your life and driving a stake through the heart of all those who

love you.

Mary, you're a young man.

He's a young man.

Mr. Grant.

You're making a mistake. That kid is nobody for a medium -aged girl like you.

I mean, if it were anyone else, Rhoda may be... You know, I am really,

T .O.'d, Mayor. T .O.'d. By now, Ted.

I think it's time I said something here, Lou.

No, it's not, Ted. I'm sorry, Lou, but I have to speak frankly.

Mary's involved in an autumn -spring affair.

That's her business.

Usually, it's the man who's autumn.

But what difference does it make?

I myself am into a heavy autumn -spring thing.

Look, if you two don't mind, I find this extremely none of your business.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to staple this.

I'm going to staple it.

Mary?

Okay. So it's none of my business.

Then I agree with him, Mary. It's none of his business.

Rhoda, it's me.

Come on in, dear.

How do I look in short hair?

It changes your whole face.

Hey, aren't you going to that party tonight with Stephen?

Uh, yeah, yeah, I am. But I thought maybe you'd want to go with me. Oh, no,

got too much to do here, kid.

I've got to work on this tonight.

I'm making some popcorn, and I've got to go over my checkbook.

Something's wrong. The balance is off.

But, gee, Rhoda, I was sort of hoping, you know, that... Shh, Mary, you hear

that? Mary, you and I are in on one of nature's most precious moments.

A new popcorn is being born into the world.

Yes, Mary, somewhere out there near a corn is passing out cigars.

I should come hear the music play, right?

I really don't want to go up there.

You know what's great about this wig?

No one would ever guess it's a wig.

Who would go out and pay money for anything this ugly?

Well, okay, I'll see you later.

Wait.

Mary, I don't want to be at a party with those younger guys.

Really. I mean, they always end up saying the same thing to me.

You know what's incredible, Rhoda? I'm totally unaware of the vast difference

our ages.

Okay, kid, I'll go. Will you really?

Sure. Oh, thanks. Oh, wait, Mary.

Oh, I'm expecting a guy in about 15 minutes. I forgot.

Well, then you can't go.

No, my friend. I will go with you. No, really. I'll leave him a note. Write it

for me while I change. Yeah, sure.

What'll I say?

Just start with, uh, Dear Pizza Man.

number at my prom.

My date got beat up to this song.

Hey, my life is their nostalgia.

I wonder where Stephen is.

Well, let's sit down. The maitre d' seems to be on a break.

Which one is Mary Richards?

Oh, hi, I am. Hey, and?

And Rhoda Morgenstern. Hey, I'm Beck Wilson, Steve's roommate.

Steve went out to get some ice. May I take your coats? Yes, thank you.

Make yourself at home. There's wine in the kitchen.

Okay.

Rhoda, do you realize that you and I are the only two in the room wearing

eyeliner? Mm -hmm.

Beery, there's Stephen.

Stephen! Hi!

Hi, babe. Let me just put this ice down.

Okay.

I'm going to get it.

Hello, how are you?

Why do you ask that now?

Thank you, Beck, for washing out the paper cups.

Thank you.

I mean it. You and Mary should really hitchhike across country this summer.

It'll really get your heads together.

Well, I'd do it, but I don't think my wig case would fit in a knapsack.

So, Mary, I hear you work in TV.

Yes, I do. Yeah, we're both kind of into the same thing.

Oh, really? What do you do?

Well, I watch a lot of TV.

Hi. Hi.

So, what are we talking about?

Well, Mary and I were just talking about her maybe hitching cross -country this

summer. Well, see, I don't really hitch that much. Yeah, the most we hitch is

never.

And for sure you guys got to hitch in Europe because it's really... easy to

rides there, like Amsterdam.

Amsterdam is so great.

I was there for a month, and I ran out of money, but like people there just

giving me money. People kept giving you money? What people? People I went up to

and asked for money.

Well, I've been to Amsterdam, so... You know, it's my favorite city.

Hey, I was there, too.

You know where we stayed?

Where? Outside.

Where'd you stay?

Friends of mine stayed there, too. We're inside.

It was the Amsterdam Hilton.

I wasn't there that much, though. You know, really just to sleep there. It was

one of their funkier rooms.

When were you in Amsterdam?

The summer I was 21.

When was that?

Twelve years ago.

Twelve years ago, I was running for hall monitor at Franklin Roosevelt Junior

High.

Twelve years ago, what were you doing? Just starting puberty.

I know exactly where I was.

I was at a party like this, sitting on a couch like this, drinking wine from a

paper cup like this.

You've come a long way, baby.

Now?

Now. I'll get the code.

Anything wrong?

Well, it's just that you and I were at the same party, and I think we really

different times.

Oh, no, we didn't. What kind of time did you have?

Not so great.

What kind of time did you have?

Fantastic.

I had a terrific time.

This is the best party we ever had.

Do you think this means something?

Yeah, I do.

Well, I guess you're right.

Good night, Steven.

Good night.

Thank you, Bess. It was a marvelous party.

Hey, Rhoda, don't go yet. We're going to go downtown and goof on people.

Coupon people? What's that?

You know, walk around, act weird, hope somebody notices.

That's my life, kid.

Say, Mayor, would you and your autumn -spring guy care to double -date at the

drive -in movie with me and my spring -autumn gal?

No, I don't... I think so, Ted. Stephen and I aren't seeing each other anymore

anyway. Oh, really?

How come? That's Mary's business, Ted.

Was it that age bugaboo thing, Mary? No, Ted, it wasn't a difference in age. It

was a difference in people.

I mean, I still really think that age doesn't matter if two people are right

each other.

I knew it wouldn't work.

Oh, the game of Amour.

Take this autumn -spring thing that I'm into.

Well, actually, I can't count myself as autumn. I'm more like late summer.

Let's say the end of August, mid -July.

Well, why quibble? I'm later than Memorial Day, but earlier than Labor

Now, wait a minute. Let's take that back. Actually, I'm more like the 4th of

July. You mean firecrackers, picnics in the park, doubleheaders, birth of a

nation, Yankee Doodle Dandy?