Original subtitles

Who can turn the world on with her smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should know it.

With each glance and every little movement you show it. Love is all I

to waste it. You can never tell, why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all.

You're gonna make it after all.

Did you have a nice lunch, Mary?

Yeah. Hey, what's this?

You were invited to a Halloween party.

No, no, no, no, no, no. It's from me. And you see, the Halloween is crossed

I needed party invitations, and all they had were these, and I didn't have time

to look for others, so... Yes, Mr. Grant.

Be right in.

Before I say yes...

Tell me we're not going to bob for apples.

We knew those cards were a mistake.

What are you throwing a party for?

Oh, just for fun. I've wanted to for a long time now, you know, to pay back all

the parties I've been to.

You never even do a party at our house. Oh, well, that's because you don't have

parties. Yes, we do.

Oh.

We'll invite you the next time. Oh, no, that's okay, Mr. Grant. You see, Edie

usually has mostly her friends over. No, really, Mr. Grant. No, really, I want

to invite you.

So you'll come then? Yeah, sure, I will.

I don't know when we're going to have one.

I want you to come because... Hi, hi, Phyllis. Hi.

Lou, I'd love to talk to you too, but I'm here to see Mary.

Oh,

if I'm in the way, I could wait out on the window ledge.

Excuse us. Window ledge? She's such a cutie.

Phyllis, is something the matter?

Well, actually, I'm on... my way to the airport.

But let's talk about other things.

Mary, that is a nice dress for work.

What are you going to change into when you get home from work tonight?

Oh, I don't know, Phil. I might just live recklessly and stay right in this

What is this? No, that won't do at all. Mary, please change it. But you will be

in about seven.

Yeah, I think I will. Phyllis, look, this is an office. I can't just stand

around and chat. I've got a lot of work to do here. I've got to get out my party

invitations. Here's yours.

Well, thank you.

Oh, Lars will be at some big dermatologist bash.

But could I bring somebody else? Yeah, sure. Who?

Oh, Mary.

How you ferret things out.

Well, I'll confess. I have a surprise.

And I've been looking forward all week to your meeting this surprise.

Oh. Okay, I'll say this much.

The surprise is a person.

My plan was to bring this person by your place tonight, just casually.

Oh, that's right. Your brother is getting into town today.

Who spoiled my surprise?

Well, Phil, you told me four times. I spoiled my surprise.

I guess.

Oh, Mary, you'll adore him. He's just like me.

And Mary, wait till you hear him play.

He's a musical genius. Yeah, you mentioned that. An absolute genius. He's

composer. Oh, what's he written?

Uh, commercials.

where they use large symphony orchestras.

There's no question, you know, that if Bach were alive today, he would be doing

television. That's what they say about Ted.

Bill, I am really looking forward to meeting your brother, but I have got to

back to work. Sure, okay. Well, we'll pop by about seven. Okay. I'll give you

chance to change out of that dress.

Bill, what is wrong with this dress?

Nothing. Oh, no, Mary, it's just that his favorite color is red.

Mary, I don't want to push you two into each other's arms.

It's just that from the moment you moved into our building, I was thinking to

myself, Ben would love Mary.

And then, of course, you're both unmarried.

Seems as if you've been saved for each other.

Well, Phil, I'm not all that saved.

Don't listen to me.

I don't believe in trying to control things.

Let it happen if it happens. If there be bells.

Let there be bells.

Hi, Mary.

Well,

I don't know how to put it except Mary Richards, my dear friend and neighbor

all -around whippet person.

This is my brother, Ben.

Ben, this is Mary.

Nice to meet you too, Ben.

I knew it. I just had a feeling.

Won't you come in and sit down?

Mary, if we're just barging in, I'm interrupting a slightest. No, no, you're

barging in at all. Can I get you something? A cup of coffee or a drink?

Oh, either.

No, no, no, no, no. We're really just perched here for a quick chat.

And so you two can meet briefly.

I see you don't have a piano.

Whenever Phyllis sees a piano, she always makes me play.

I don't do that.

Yeah, you do do that.

No.

I don't do that. You do that, too. Well, if I do do that, it's justified because

you're a wonderful brother.

Mary,

sometime before Ben leaves, you must come down and hear him play

He just played some for me, and Mary, I wept.

Not at Shostakovich, of course, who was really kind of irritating, but at the

sheer genius of my brother Ben.

Ben, why don't you go look at Mary's view?

Okay.

May I look at your view?

Sure. Take a look.

Isn't he everything I said he was? He certainly is.

When did you get a piano?

Oh, I rented it, but I don't want Ben to know.

Just go right on out, Ben.

I just treat the piano casually as if it had always been there.

Lars, of course, keeps bumping into it and cursing.

It's nice of you.

You're a TV producer, she tells me. No.

be spontaneous.

Let's, Lars and I, and you two kids, go out to dinner to a concert.

I made reservations at the bit of Scandinavia, and I have four tickets for

symphony.

Spontaneity is so much simpler when it's all planned out, isn't it?

Well, what do you two say, Mary?

Ben?

Phil, not tonight.

You know, I'm afraid that old jet lag is getting to me. I'm really beat. I kind

of like to just turn in early.

And Mary would probably just like to relax after a hard day's work. I said it

was just the most fleeting of thoughts.

I am really kind of tired.

Well, Mary, I'm so glad we had this little visit.

Goodbye, Mary.

Goodbye. We'll see you again. Thank you.

Don't worry, Mary. It was just a first impression.

Sorry to barge in on you like this, but I got to thinking I might have seemed a

little abrupt a little while ago.

Oh? Well, you know, Phyllis has this way of manipulating people, and I got the

feeling she was backing you into a corner on the whole thing.

I think she's very anxious to have us go out.

No, I think she's very anxious to have us get married.

Hey, would you like some salad?

Sure thing.

know that you and I are having dinner together after all.

Somehow I think she'd want to be here, you know, turning on the music, turning

down the lights, turning down the bed.

Did you and Phyllis meet each other in college?

No, no, it was after. Oh, I thought you could have been a freshman when she was

a senior.

Hey, are you trying to find out how old I am?

I guess so.

I'm sorry.

I hate it when people do that to me. I mean, why don't they come right out and

ask?

If you want to know something, just ask it. Okay, how old are you? I don't want

to tell you.

I'm 32.

Thank you.

Have you also noticed that if people want to know if you're married, they

ask straight out? Oh, no.

Hi, kids.

Hi. I'm sorry. I didn't know you had a date. No, come on in. It's all right.

a date.

Rhoda, Morgan Stern. I'd like you to meet Ben Sutherland. Rhoda lives in the

apartment upstairs.

Hi. Hiya, Ben. Why don't you sit down?

Oh, well, in that case... Oh, Rhoda.

Why not show the man how direct a person I can be? Did I tell you that Ben is

Phyllis' brother?

You're kidding.

Phyllis is Ben?

That's funny.

Phyllis never mentioned you to me.

Yeah, funny.

So what do you do, Ben?

I'm a musician.

I play the piano and compose a little.

Are you interested in music?

Minneapolis long?

Oh, a few years now. But I'm really from New York. No kidding. What part?

Guess.

The Bronx.

Why does Manhattan never occur to anyone?

That's where I live now.

Oh, yeah?

How come you moved here?

Oh, no.

Did you ever run out of gas unexpectedly at a strange corner and you kind of see

a strange street lamp and a strange street sign?

Then you wonder, how did I end up here?

Something like that happened to me once, too. I was on a stalled train.

And, you know, nobody on the train expected to be delayed. Anyway, I looked

the window, and I saw this really old... Oh, you know, I know exactly what you

mean, Rhoda. House is what it was. It was an old house.

How come you're not interested in music at all?

Oh, listen, some music interests me.

Classical music.

Now, that really depresses me.

Well, in that case, I guess you wouldn't want to go to a concert with me. Oh,

wait. Now, I didn't say that.

I've gone for worse than that for a date.

any obligation here. I really just thought that if you wanted to... Oh,

look. I just happened to have two tickets to a Mozart concert tonight.

Would you like to come along with me and get depressed?

Well, can I go like this?

You look fine to me.

Look, we can just make it. You know where the symphony's playing?

Of course, Ben. I've lived here for four years.

It's the same place where the Vikings play, right?

It would be best to tell it as it happened, chronologically.

From my point of view, I am still in shock.

Lars and I were sitting enjoying one of Mozart's more light -hearted moments,

flutes, the coming of spring, something, I don't know.

There was this commotion in the aisle.

Late arrivals, boors.

Good glare.

It was Ben.

I was so pleased. He and Mary, I thought, had come to join us. Oh, well,

Then I saw it was not Mary.

It was... It was... Rhoda.

Rhoda.

Right. Well, then they sat next to us.

I struggled to maintain my poise, though my... Fences were reeling.

I tried to enjoy the concert even though she was snapping her fingers to

Mozart.

I'm sorry, Phyllis, but it just doesn't sound all that tragic.

I mean, it's not like a flood or anything.

My brother is in Rhoda's apartment at this moment saying goodnight to her.

He has been doing so for quite some time.

with this gourmet feast, and it wouldn't all fit on her hot plate.

That woman has cast some sort of spell over Ben.

No spell, Phyllis. It's just that in case you haven't noticed, Rhoda is very

attractive.

Is she?

Is she, Mary?

It must be on some level that I can't perceive, like ultraviolet...

closer together.

Therefore, I reason, I shall be passive, even kindly.

Well, I'm glad to hear you say that, Phyllis.

Chicken and mushroom time.

Rhoda, I want you to know, dear, that I am not sick to my stomach over you and

Ben.

Phyllis, that's swell, really.

any chicken and mushrooms up there.

Phyllis, you're not going upstairs.

No, it's much too quiet up there.

Phyllis, if you're not careful, your ear will get all waffled.

Hi, Phyllis.

Mary, I don't smell any gas.

Mary always thinks she smells gas fumes coming through there. Yeah, you know,

dippy Mary.

Minneapolis, I'm really having a ball. No, you're not.

Thanks.

I'll be late tonight, Phil. Don't wait up for me.

I don't know how long I can keep it up.

Keeping up this happy exterior.

to let it all out and you're going to embarrass everybody concerned.

I don't do that.

Yes, you do do that, Phyllis. No, mother did that. Phyllis, I don't know your

mother. So you think I do that? Yes, I do, Phyllis. You don't know me at all.

But it's amazing.

Thanks, Georgette.

Order, Ted.

Thanks, honey.

If there's anything else I can do, just whistle.

Thank you.

Mary, I want something to eat. Oh, thanks.

Say, Mary, when did you get a piano?

Oh, well, it's from Phyllis. She rented it for me. You know, some people send

flowers. Phyllis sends pianos.

only play one thing. Please play it.

I don't know the words to that one.

Hello, Mary.

Hi, Phyllis.

I hope I don't spoil your party.

What do you mean?

Are they here yet?

No. Phil, what did you mean you don't? I hope you spoil my party.

It's just that when I'm this upset.

Phyllis, listen, Phil, I only have about one big party a year, you know? And so

because of the expense and everything, could you pick another night?

You're not asking me to close the door on my emotions, are you? Close it.

Phyllis, lock it.

But keep it out of my party, please.

Why don't you go talk to Mr.

Grant? See? Right over there.

How you doing?

I'm worried sick about Ben and Rhoda.

Well, uh -huh.

Gee. Maybe you'd be a good person to talk to.

Uh, no, I don't think so.

Who's Ben?

Uh, that's Phyllis's brother.

She's worried sick about him and Rhoda. She wanted to talk to me about it.

to tell my private life to relative strangers.

Good. Good.

I'm so glad she's not serving popcorn.

Those little hard things get caught in my teeth.

and throw away everything he struggled so hard for. I hope he doesn't do that.

Break your heart and throw away everything he struggled for.

face her alone?

You bet.

Okay, Phil, what's up?

Rhoda, I want you to tell me the absolute truth.

What's going on with you and Ben?

Nothing, Phil.

We've just been having a lot of fun together.

No, Rhoda. I said you could be honest with me. Be honest with me. I am. I'm

being perfectly honest with you.

He's going back to New York tomorrow. Well, I figured that's it. No, no.

just telling me what you think I want to hear.

I really want the truth, Rhoda. I am. I'm giving you the truth. No, the truth,

Rhoda. I'll be totally honest with you. I want the truth. All right. All right,

Phyllis. We got engaged ten minutes ago. We're getting married tomorrow.

Okay?

I see.

You see? Thank you for being honest.

Mary, your party's dying.

Let's call 20 questions.

Now, the rules are these.

I think of something, and then you have to, in 20 questions, guess what it is.

my kids for a slumber party. See you at work Monday.

Good night. Good night, Mary.

You had a wonderful time tonight.

I think your friend is upset.

Oh?

I'm going to go downstairs and make Phyllis the biggest slow gin fish she

saw in her life. I'll help you.

Dad?

The answer is the Empire State Building. I win.

What do you mean?

Phyllis, Ben and I aren't getting married.

He's not my type. What do you mean? He's not your type.

I thought, sure, you know Phil.

No Phyllis, this is my dog food commercial.