Original subtitles

Who can turn the world on with her smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should know it.

With each glance and every little movement you show it. Love is all I

to waste it. You can never tell, why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all

You're gonna make it after

all

minutes ago when I emptied an ashtray.

Very. Guess what? What?

My father's in town.

Yeah, no kidding. That's terrific.

What's he doing here?

He came with my mother.

Yeah, when did I get to meet him? As a matter of fact, they're here right now.

Here? Uh, where here?

Right outside that very door.

What? And up those stairs in my apartment.

Gotcha.

go upstairs and meet your family dressed in this crummy outfit? What do they

think? They probably think you borrowed it from me.

Martin, I'm getting tired of standing.

Ida, I got an idea.

What? Sit.

Where? Here.

How about this? Isn't that lovely?

Oh, no, that looks too uncomfortable.

What, is it more uncomfortable than standing?

Why don't you try the bed?

Oh, no, I don't want to sit on that spread. It might shed all over my suit.

Here's a nice bean bag. Why don't you try that?

Morgenstern. I feel I know you.

I'm glad. Otherwise, I'd never let you take advantage of me like this.

Well, how was the trip? You have a pleasant flight?

Yeah, we had a pleasant flight, except for some wife of the party guy who kept

playing chopsticks on the lounge piano.

Oh, do you hate that?

It was me.

Oh, everybody loves Martin's sense of humor.

Martin, don't you think you ought to go find us a place to stay?

Hey, wait. I thought you wanted to stay here.

Rhoda, when you told us you had an apartment, I don't know why, but I

an apartment.

Look, maybe there's a nice motel around here someplace.

Gee, Pop, I don't know of any. Thank goodness.

Uh, Mr.

Morgenstern, there is a very nice one on the corner of Oakhurst and Burnside.

My parents stayed there once.

Good, I'll see if there are any vacancies, and later I'll come back for

luggage. And for me.

And for you.

Rhoda, you know something? In New York City, you'd have to keep these beads

locked up at night.

We're sure he would be.

Yes, he is, isn't he? Oh, Mrs.

Morgenstern, I think your husband is just terrific.

I know.

Hey, I just thought of something.

Wouldn't it look kind of funny to drive up to a motel without a car?

Rhoda, honey, could I borrow yours?

Well, it's in the body shop.

I sort of keep it in there and just take it out for accidents.

Mrs. Morgenstern, you can borrow my car if you want. Oh, Mary, that's all right.

Please, I don't even need it.

Well, golly, that's terrific.

Ida, did you hear that?

You won't have to rent one for the whole week we're here.

Gotcha!

Now we see where you got your gotchas.

I'll get you the keys.

Go on, Pop.

Rhoda. Yeah, Ma? I have to tell you, your father and I coming to Minneapolis,

isn't just a pleasure trip. You're telling me.

any younger. I mean, some people have told me that I have matured gracefully.

But your father, your father, I mean, nobody tells me I look like Cary Grant.

Mom, what is he trying to say?

Well, Rhoda, our marriage is on the rocks.

You're talking ridiculous.

I don't believe that.

If your marriage is on the rocks, how come you and Papa are in here?

acting like nothing is wrong. He doesn't know.

Wait, wait, how could he not know?

Rhoda, I've been keeping something from you.

It's very difficult to tell you this, Rhoda, but there's another party.

Another party? You don't mean you?

and tell me that my father is fooling around.

Who's fooling around? He's dead serious.

Believe me, Rhoda, a woman knows the signs. The signs. Ah, come on, Ma. What

signs? Like taking me out to dinner and bringing home flowers.

Ma, listen.

I want you to stop this talk. I'm telling you, I don't want to talk any

about it.

Rhoda, you've got this all wrong.

It's not his fault.

And people spark to your father.

What kind of proof have you got?

For 33 years, that nice Mrs.

Edelman that worked with your father?

Yeah. Well, now all of a sudden, a nice old lady is not what he wants for a

secretary.

Now he has a 24 -year -old girl with blue eyes.

What happened to Mrs. Edelman? She died.

Listen to me. I don't want to discuss this any further.

guilty. Mary, I'm checking the billing. No calls, no interruptions. Right, Mr.

Grant. I thought the billing came on the first of the month. His bar bills come

on the 15th. Oh, yeah.

Newsroom.

Well, it's got to be there.

I'll come help you look.

Mary, the film for our feature story is missing. What story? The one on

inefficiency in business.

I mean, lunch reservations at two restaurants.

Well, welcome to the WJM newsroom. Golly, why isn't anything the way you

it? You know what I expected here? 30 or 40 reporters, a dozen copy boys,

Spencer Tracy is the fighting editor.

Oh, well, that's because everybody's at lunch, except us.

So that way I can show you around without disturbing anyone. I mean, that

you're interested.

Interested? Oh, we love studio tours, don't we, Mark? Oh, that one in

that was really something.

Oh, yeah, first you get on this...

takes you around to the dressing rooms of the stars, and then the stars come

and say hello to you. That's right. And the show they put on.

I'm telling you, these stuntmen are falling out of trees, out of buildings.

All of a sudden, you're on a boat, and there's a torpedo coming right at you.

And suddenly, there's a big explosion. I'm telling you, you'd swear it was the

real thing. It is the most fantastic thing I have ever seen.

Now, Mary, give us your tour.

Very interesting.

Oh,

somebody draws over here? Right, right, yes, he does. And these are his colors.

His colored carousel. My, did you ever see so many colors?

Mary, excuse me, could you help us look?

Oh, yeah, sure. I'll be just a second. I have to find some film.

I was here once before, you know, so I could sort of pick up where Mary lived.

And this is Mary's typewriter.

Is this Mary's chair?

to the buzzer.

I'll be right in, Mr. Grant.

but I didn't. I thought maybe she was somebody important.

But now she turns out to be your friend's mother.

I'm sorry, Mr. Grant. It won't happen again.

Excuse me.

Rhoda, I'll be out in just a minute.

No, I've got to do this, ma 'am. Is she in trouble because of what just

happened? Rhoda, really, everything is okay. I am not in trouble.

I disagree.

Now listen, Lou. It was my mother. So if you're going to yell at someone, yell

at me.

believe you took me up on that offer.

Do you have anything left for me?

No, that did it.

Mary, I am sorry. I do crazy things when I'm hungry. It's okay. Listen, we can

go to lunch now.

Where is your mother?

Oh, I don't know. She must have wandered off somewhere.

Mary, we found the film.

don't mix. I keep trying to talk on key.

Do you have any juice?

Yes, you're in the fridge. Help yourself.

How was the evening with your parents?

Oh, we watched TV.

There were certain TV programs that my mother simply will not miss. I know. My

mother's the same way.

Hey, you want some juice?

No, thanks.

See, my father had planned to take us to this nice French restaurant, but we

never would have made it back in time.

So we stayed at the motel and had chicken in the bucket with Chad Everett.

If you'll excuse me, I've got some laundry to do. I mean, I know you don't

an audience.

No, it's okay, Mary. I don't mind an audience. Mary, she loves an audience.

So come and sit down.

I'll tell you everything.

Ma,

you're not telling us anything.

What happened?

We had a big fight.

Does Pop know about it?

Mr. Morgenstern, I just want to say, you know, that I like both you and Mr.

Morgenstern. And I'm sure this whole thing is going to, you know, straighten

itself out. But, you know, I really feel that it would be wrong of me to make a

comment one way or the other at this time.

do have some laundry that I gotta take care of. Well, I can say this fast.

I'm a modern woman who knows the score, and I know that the male animal has

certain needs that a loving and devoted wife of 35 years cannot satisfy.

You said all this to him?

Yeah, but not so fast.

Ma, please, just go back to the motel to pop. Right now. No, Rhoda. A marriage

cannot survive without honesty.

There's only one thing that will get me to go back to your father.

And what's that, Ma?

If he'll admit he doesn't love me anymore.

a wool sweater in the second drawer.

I've got to hang up now, but I'm telling you for the last time, don't come.

Don't come.

He's coming, isn't he? Of course. Why shouldn't he come?

Sit here in the dark and try to figure out where it all went wrong.

That's him. Where can I hide? Who is it?

It's me.

That's not him. It's Rhoda. Don't let her in either. She'll squeal on me.

Mary, I am so sorry about this.

Ma, what are you doing? I want your father to be happy. And the only way he

be happy is if he's free of me.

He'll never be free of you. I should know.

So hard to handle.

Mr. Morgenstern, I bet I know what it is. I'll bet you Mrs.

Morgenstern is just going through... The change of life. Right. She went through

that ten years ago.

Maybe she's changing back.

I was sitting there watching the news, and all of a sudden your mother is

telling me she knows I'm having affairs, and that she understands.

Listen, if you'll excuse me, I have a few things I have to wash out.

But I can't right now. Hey, Mary, Mary, listen. You know Ida. You're a very

objective third party. Can't you reason with her?

Mr. Morgenstern, I don't think I ought to have I said to Mrs.

Morgenstern earlier...

Don't you have some laundry to do or something?

Yeah, sure, sure. Ma!

What are you doing? Is that any way to talk to Mary?

Go upstairs and use my apartment.

I don't want to.

Why not? It's nicer here.

Perfectly all right. I'll make good use of the time. I've got to go to the

laundromat anyway.

I've got one thing to say.

If there's a custody battle, when they bring me into the courtroom, I refuse to

run into the arms of either one of you.

Ida, come on.

Let's talk about this thing intelligently.

My slippers.

that is all it's been.

Honestly? Honestly.

Tell me one thing, Martin. What?

If you had been fooling around, would you tell me now?

No.

Well, honey, I'd want to spare your feelings.

That's sweet.

How do I know you're not sparing my feelings now?

You don't. Well, are you?

No. Honestly?

Honestly. Oh, Martin, I'm so mixed up with all these honestly's.

It would be simpler if you just told a lie.

Oh, you want to hear a lie?

I'm going to tell you a lie.

Ida, these last 35 years have been pure agony.

I don't love you more than anything else in the whole world.

That's a lie?

Biggest one I ever told.

problematic for you.

Look, we've been married for 35 years, honey. It's time we... It's time we

renewed our lease.

Renewed our lease?

Yeah. Oh, Martin, that's so poetic.

Oh, please.

Hello,

Rhoda. Guess who?

She guessed.

What's new?

She wants to know what's new with us.

the sense of humor.

Oh, Mary!

Mary, do you know a nice synagogue around here?

A synagogue?

What do you need a synagogue for?

Your father proposed to me we're going to get married again.

Second ceremony, right here in Minneapolis.

What do you think? Oh, Pop, I love it.

Wait a minute. You're not doing this because you have to.

to go back to their motel.