Original subtitles

Who can turn the world on with her smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all

seem worthwhile? Well, it's you, girl, and you should know it.

With each glance and every little movement you show it, love is all alone,

need to waste it. You can never tell, why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all.

You're gonna make it after...

Thanks. I suddenly realized I didn't have a purse to match my new dress, and

really wanted to wear it today, so thanks a lot. Listen, next time I want

wear my purse, will you lend me your dress and shoes?

Yeah, sure. And your body.

You look gorgeous.

What's so special about today?

Well, I'm being interviewed.

For what?

A job?

No.

Oh, I get it.

You'd rather not tell old Rhoda, is that it?

Well, I see, Mary. I understand.

Maybe you're right.

Fred's getting too close to you. Rhoda, look, I'll tell you.

after if it goes okay, okay?

Okay, sure, ma 'am. Look, I understand.

Only you can't borrow my purse.

Okay, I'll tell you. I'm being interviewed by a guy who writes a TV

the newspaper.

You're kidding. That's fantastic.

Yeah. Why you?

Rhoda. I'm sorry.

No, it's all right. Actually, I asked him the same question. He said he

it would make an interesting article. You know, I'm the only woman in the

newsroom and all. Yeah. Hey, Rhoda. You think this dress is too sexy?

Mary, there's no such thing as two sexes. I just don't want to look like

flaunting anything. It's great. Maybe I should wear something a little more

serious.

What do you think?

In that, you will look like a serious usher.

Think. This is a man doing the interview, right? Yeah.

Let me take a look. I'm just so nervous.

I don't know what I'm... What am I going to talk about?

You don't have to talk.

I don't.

It's an interview, remember?

How about this? That's a blouse.

That's not talking, that's answering.

Yeah, but what about in between?

I mean, I want to be witty and stuff.

Do you think Henry Kissinger notices that Jill St. John is witty? No. Stop?

See, that's what I mean. I never say anything like that. I'm going to write

down and use it. I don't think the man would be too impressed if you sat there

and read witty things to him.

Mary, he's just a guy. You know, you have very little trouble in that area.

What's his name, anyhow?

Mark Williams.

Maybe you better wear a suit of armor.

I mean, you know him? Not in person. But you've read his column, huh?

Yeah. I mean, he's a destroyer. So he's a little critical of TV.

A little critical? Did you read him this morning? No.

After he got through killing all the new shows, I guess he decided to take a

second look at the shows he had murdered last year.

Listen, though this series continues in its enormous popularity, it is

inconceivable to me that it would hold the interest of anyone over the age of

nine. What shows that?

Sesame Street, ma 'am.

I'm going to go change.

Morning, Harry.

Morning, ma 'am.

You know, I did the dumbest thing this morning.

You want to know what I did?

You dressed like a guy.

I bought a suit like that for my son.

Well, I didn't start out wearing this. I mean, I must have gone through about

six dumb outfits worrying about the right image, and this is what I finally

up with for the interview.

What interview?

Oh, didn't I tell you? Mark Williams is interviewing me today at lunch. Well,

why you, ma 'am?

Because I work in a newsroom and because I'm a woman who's dressed like a man.

didn't you?

Oh, well, no, not exactly.

I mean, well, not so many words. How many words?

None.

Well, listen, I still could. I mean, if you really think it's necessary.

It just never occurred to me to ask his permission. I mean, it is my own lunch

hour.

Still, I do work here, don't I? So, I guess, well, I could. I mean, if you

really think I, but do you think Mr. Grant would mind?

Will mind what?

Mind an interview? It's outrageous.

What right does he have to tell people who they can talk to?

I mean, we're still individuals here.

Mayor, that interview goes on. Right.

What time should I be there?

that you may have insulted her?

No.

Oh, you mean, uh... Oh, well, I mean, after all, it isn't fair. She's not an

anchorman.

But then again, it's not her fault.

That's right, Ted. So why don't you apologize to her?

Oh, Mayor.

Mayor, I... I... like your suit.

Thanks, Ted.

Say, Mayor,

When is your little interview?

Today at lunch.

Oh. Why?

Oh, I was just wondering. You might go to the same restaurant I'm going to, and

I might be able to stop by the table, say hello, that's all.

Were you having lunch?

I don't know yet.

Were you having lunch? I don't know yet.

Where is she having lunch, Mark?

She doesn't know yet.

And they call this a newsroom.

ask before Ted thinks of it.

Oh, come on. Oh, Murray, I can't believe...

Mr.

Grant, I was wondering if you'd mind... Murray, don't wear pants in the office

anymore.

You're right. You're right. Listen to me.

Did you hear what I just... I just did.

I said I don't want you to wear something.

What difference does it make what you wear? As long as you do your job.

Right. It's a purely arbitrary, pig -headed demand.

And yet... I didn't ask you my question.

Oh, what is it?

Well, you know Mark Williams.

That jerk.

You do know him? Mm -hmm. Why is he a jerk?

Because he hates TV, that's why.

I like TV. I work in it and I like it.

Besides, I don't like the way he operates.

What do you mean, operates?

Well, let's say he uses his column to improve his social position.

Oh, Mr. Graham, I can't believe it. Last year he went out to Hollywood and

interviewed the gold diggers.

Why don't you see anything wrong in writing a column about the gold diggers?

no, not a column.

Ten columns.

One column on each gold digger.

Why are we talking about... Mark Williams?

Oh, well, he wants to do an interview. Tell him I'm not interested.

Well, see, it's not you he wanted to interview. It was, uh... Who then?

Me.

You. Why is it that everybody is so surprised when they find out that Mark

Williams wants to interview me? I'm not surprised.

Uh, you're not. It figures.

In Minneapolis, you're the closest thing to a gold digger.

Take care of myself.

Mary, you're representing WJM TV.

A man like Mark Williams delights in taking perfectly innocent little things

say and twisting them. Cancel him.

Yeah, I better. I'll cancel him.

Wait a minute.

Come here.

If you call and cancel now, he'll probably think I told you to.

Yes. We wouldn't want him to think I'd do a thing like that, would we? No.

We'd better go to lunch with him.

Yes. Oh, I ain't making too big a deal out of it.

It'll be fun.

You get your name in the paper.

Your folks will read it.

They'll be proud of you. Oh, sure. Have a nice time. Okay, then.

Just don't say anything.

No, no, no. I put brand new batteries in it just about four months ago.

Do you have a pencil?

Uh, yeah.

Are you going to take down everything I say?

I like to get the quotes straight.

The quotes? Mm -hmm.

How about a piece of paper?

Yeah.

You don't have any batteries in there, do you? No.

All right, let's start with your boss.

I understand that he doesn't like me very much. Oh, no.

No, no, no. Mr. Grant doesn't not like you.

You call him Mr.

Grant? Oh, yes, I do. I mean, I could call him, well, if I wanted to. But he

just, you know, seems like more of a Mr. Grant, that's all.

You're writing that down?

Go on.

Oh, well, he's terrific to work for.

I mean, I really love him.

He's a... A saint.

No, of course he's not a saint.

No, sometimes he's very unsaintly.

Blunt. I mean, we just think that... Hold it, hold it. I can't write that

No, of course he's not a saint.

We... Wrong.

No, this isn't going to work.

Why didn't I learn how to take shorthand when I had the chance?

Well, listen, I take shorthand.

The guys at the office ever treat you like one of the boys?

Uh, no.

No, uh, just the opposite.

I mean, what do you mean?

Well, those rooms are pretty raunchy on rough language and heavy drinking. How

do you feel about that as a woman? Oh, fine.

I'm used to it.

Sort of.

Tell me about Ted Baxter.

Is he really an idiot?

Ted? An idiot?

Oh, gosh, no.

Actually, Ted is exactly the way he appears on the air. You know, only

Much better.

He just about has to be.

Actually, Ted is pretty deceptive. He is. He is deceptive. Are you married?

No, I'm not. Are you?

Well, no.

That was an interview question, wasn't it? No, I thought you were asking me as

person, you know, and not as the not married.

Well, maybe just a little bit of both.

Listen, I am just so nervous about this whole thing turning out badly that I

can't be myself. I can't relax. Mary, Mary, there is no way this interview is

going to turn out badly.

Oh, why not?

Because if it turned out badly when you read it tomorrow morning, you'd be

upset. And then you wouldn't go out with me tomorrow night when I ask you.

Which is what I'm doing right now. Oh, go out?

You know what just crossed my mind?

That if I said no to going out with you, then the story might turn out badly.

Ted Baxter.

Anchorman. Mark Williams.

Sorry, Ted Baxter. This is Mark. You'd better scoot along. You know how Luke

get.

Mark, I'm awfully sorry. Not at all. I know how it is when you're in news.

worry about the dessert. I'll eat it.

The interview.

Mary.

I can't read shorthand.

Oh, well, I'll type it up and send it to you. By three o 'clock, okay? I have a

deadline. Okay.

I'll call you.

Good.

I sleep in the raw.

You interviewers usually ask that kind of stuff.

This isn't an interview.

What do you say we do have an interview?

Here. Just speak right into there.

radio station in Fresno.

I understand that. I overslept on my sister's wedding day. In fact, I slept

through my sister's wedding day. I was depressed.

She was marrying my fiance.

newsroom duties at WJN, is Mary Richards the best -looking thing to ever hit

Minneapolis news?

Yay!

Oh, no.

Best -looking is an oh, no?

Lou Grant, who Mary still calls Mr. Grant after two years, is a tough boss,

still...

No one with any intelligence takes those TV column things seriously.

Would betray me like this.

Ted, I didn't betray you. Look, there's not one word about you in the whole

article. You're not even mentioned.

Although I did talk about you a lot. I mean, he just didn't put it in. Why

didn't he?

Ted, I don't know. Believe me, the whole article didn't turn out the way I

wanted it to.

Mary Richards, the best -looking thing to ever hit Minneapolis News.

Would she be better looking than I am?

That's not entirely true.

I did say some of those things, but not that way.

Just not the way that it came out.

Now do you see why I never give interviews, Mary?

I do, and you're right, Mr. Grant, absolutely right. I'm right, I'm right.

But that doesn't do me a whole lot of good right now, does it?

Because the people who read this are going to think I'm a man who drinks as

as I drink.

to try to get a raise, is it? I'm sorry, Mr. Grant. I know you're sorry.

But unfortunately, the reading public of Minneapolis and St. Paul, which

includes my wife, my neighbors, my children, and my grandchildren, don't

you're sorry.

Your grandchildren?

Those little tots who once looked up to their old grandpa.

On the other hand, it might be better to just leave well and bad enough alone.

Don't you think?

Well, at least you came off well.

Well. He didn't get fresh?

No, Mr. Grant, he didn't.

You're not going out with him?

Did I not tell you that was the best restaurant in all of St. Paul? You did,

it was.

I'm just so embarrassed that Ted showed up.

Mary, are you really sure that I can't make up for getting you into trouble at

the station? Oh, no, Mark. Really, I told you I'd just as soon forget it.

I just feel that I should do something.

You already have. I had a lovely evening.

So did I.

Can I spend the night?

No.

Okay, see you.

home. Okay, he brought me up here. We got right about here. Yeah, yeah. And he

said, can I spend the night?

And I said, no.

And he said, okay, see ya.

Yeah. That's it.

He said, okay, see ya, and left.

In answer to your question, ma 'am, we don't know if you're under sex. You

didn't give yourself a chance to find out.

That's the same thing you did, kid.

Really?

Do I detect a note of surprise?

No, no, no, no. It's just that it's purely a personal matter.

Mary, I too have standards. Believe it or not. I do, I do. I believe it. It's

just that sometimes I think maybe I have overly standards.

It's good what you did.

I think he was testing you to find out what kind of a girl you are.

Now he knows and he'll respect you for it. And he'll call you as soon as he

Do you really think so?

No, but my mother does.

Thing is, you'd be surprised how many girls say yes when I ask them that

question. There's a lot of averages and all that.

Come on in.

I certainly hope I didn't mess up a batting streak. No, no, I just shouldn't

have tried such a dumb thing with you.

It was dumb, wasn't it?

It sure was.

How dumb?

Oh, gosh, uh, very dumb.

Too dumb to ever consider going out with me again?

Now, you wouldn't like to change your mind? No.

Sometimes that works, too.

See ya.