Original subtitles

Explain to me the logic of bridesmaids' dresses.

I wish I could. A woman with no taste gets to pick out dresses for everybody

else. That's just wrong, is what that is.

The color's called Sunday Salmon.

You know, put some hollandaise sauce around you, we'll fix you right up.

She was always like this, Laurie. She was just always selfish and boorish.

Ooh, there's going to be a lot of love at this wedding, I can tell you.

How would you like it if the groom told you you had to walk around his wedding

with a big orange bow on your butt?

I would not like it.

Also, we have the matching shoes, headband, and velvet choker. All Sunday

Sunday. Yay!

I think it's going to be fine. It's going to be perfectly fine. We'll fly to

.A., we'll do a little wedding, I'll sneak in a couple of movie meetings, and

then, you know, we'll look at the other ocean. So where's Ben?

Where's Ben? We're leaving our daughter for the first time.

My parents are so excited to have her. You can't believe it. They're literally

vibrating with joy.

How many diapers did you pack?

1 ,500.

No, no, no.

They'll buy more if they need them. All right, okay.

Wow, the green pajamas?

What's the matter? They're not warm enough. Give me back.

Really, the stripe like it. Do you want to pack the bag? I want to get ready.

What time is your play?

1 .30. You sure you're okay with this whole separate planes thing? Yes, I'm

with the separate planes. I don't understand it, but I'm okay with it. And

that's a nice hat. Thank you.

It's just that this way, if anything happens... Come in. No, no, sweetie.

Oh. This way, if God forbid, one plane goes down, Mabel will not be an orphan.

Okay, I get the thinking. So? It's just... Who lives like that? That's so

What's grim about it? We are cutting in half the chances... Come in.

We are cutting in half the chances that Mabel will lose both her parents. That's

happy. That's happy. Okay, yes, but on the other hand... Come in. No, that's

I'm saying, on the other hand, we're doubling the chances that, God forbid,

she's going to lose at least one parent. All right, well, that's grim.

Can we just stop talking about it? Because it's making me very

plus it's hurting my hand. Okay.

What is it? Your flight's at 1 .30? Yeah, yours?

3 .05.

Oh, so you mean on... Yeah, separate cabs. That's what I'm thinking.

Yeah. You know what? Because if you want, we can just never spend any time

together. That way there's practically no chance that we can die

Come in!

No, that was me.

It's Nana and Pop -Pop. You went with Nana and Pop -Pop, did you? Well, I want

grandpa and grandma, but who the hell am I?

Oh, what a weekend we're going to have. There are so many people who are waiting

to meet you. Oh, my God, they're going to eat their hearts out. Isn't that what

it's really all about, huh? Ready for a weekend with... Who are we again?

Nana and Pop -Pop. Yep, she's ready for you, Pop -Pop. No, not Pop -Pop, Pop.

You just said pop -pop. No, for Mabel, it's pop -pop. For you, it's pop. For

each generation, another pop.

Well, for Mabel's kids, it'll be pop -pop -pop.

Come here, you little potato.

All right,

what's going on here?

Oh, just a little cold.

A little cold? Pop, you just shot your pancreas onto the couch there.

Just a little cold. I've had them all my life.

Oh, oh, I don't know about that. I can't give the baby to you if Dad's got a

cold.

How could you get a cold?

I went out Tuesday with a wet head. Haven't I told you?

Endlessly.

Take it easy there, my mom.

Nana. Nana. It's never going to catch on. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

It is Horst the doorman.

Yes, Horst. You have called for a taxi cab, which is now waiting here.

Okay, thanks. I'll be down in a minute. Got a little problem here.

What's his name?

Horst? Horst. Horst. German. With a T. No, you didn't say the T. You said

No, I said the T. No, you didn't. You know what? You win.

Okay, so now who are we going to get to watch the baby? Oh, come on. It's

nothing.

I'll get him some tea.

Wait a second. Wait a second.

Joan and Debbie, what are they doing for the weekend? Oh, they went to Maine.

Maine. That's where their people go for vacations.

Yes, because that's the headquarters.

Yeah.

All right. Okay.

Fran and Mark. Fran and Mark on our sickest days. We're better caretakers

they are.

Mom, please. They'll be fine.

Mark, are you there?

Guess not. How about this? Your father will sleep in the cedar closet.

I said never again.

Ira. Oh, you've got to be kidding.

Ira will do a fine job.

Well, you don't remember when you went away to tennis camp and you asked him to

watch a turtle?

I'm taking the baby with me.

We have such big plans for the weekend. I mean, we were going to sit in the park

and make the Millers jealous. I know. And then we were going to sit in the

and make the Davises jealous. And then we were going to stay in the elevator

until the Nussbaums came and saw us. Okay, I get it, Ma. I get it.

Yes.

Yes! It is horse to doorman?

Yes, horse.

Sure, now.

The cab has now started its meter.

Okay, horse, thank you. It reads $2 .50 and counting.

Good to know. Thank you, horse. I feel compelled.

Hang it up now, horse.

Officially late. I want to tell you, Paulie, I never would have let Pop -Pop

touch the baby anyway.

Who's Pop -Pop? That's you. Are you going to travel alone with a baby?

Yes. Do you know how hard it is to travel alone with a baby? Yes. No, you

Okay, no, I don't.

All right, all right, I think I have everything.

Please, don't take my baby.

Sometimes you've got to let go.

You know, I think this is really for the best. This is really going to be fine.

And, you know, I know you had your heart set on this, but you still get the dog,

huh? You get the dog for the weekend, and we'll do it another time. I promise

you we'll get Mabel another time, and I'll make it up to you.

And, hey, listen, you still get the weekend together, which you're going to

enjoy.

Let me tell you something.

You're going to sleep in the cedar closet anyway.

We made the play.

Here we go.

Excuse me. Watch it. I'm sorry.

Oh, pardon me.

I'm terribly sorry.

I'm sorry.

Here we go.

You've got to be kidding.

Hi, how are you, sir? I'm changing seats.

How are you?

You're a really good baby, believe me. Pal, they all look good at the game. But

this one really is. Yeah, right.

Wait till the ears start to pop.

Or you want to change the poopy diaper and the lines too long in the bathroom?

Not for me. Thanks just a sec.

Sir, trust me. This is a beautiful bathroom. Look, look. Come on. Look at

face. How peaceful. Look.

All right.

Okay. Now try it. I understand how you feel. I really do. I used to be the same

exact way before I had a kid. But you know what I thought? They love movement.

You see, as soon as this plane takes off, this baby's going to be just sound

asleep.

Nice to see you.

All right, sir.

Move your stuff.

I'm sorry? Move your stuff.

I didn't... Move your stuff.

I didn't think there was anybody sitting next to me. It's move your stuff. All

right, all right.

You let Bywin sit by the window so he can see where it can't.

Bywin, Bywin, Bywin.

Does Byron want to see Gwen Canyon?

Excuse me, do I know you?

Erwin, elbow room.

Erwin, oh, my God, I know you. Well, lady, you're starting to scare me. Who

you? Do the words, the good room, mean anything to you?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, the hospital.

Oh, my God, Erwin, look.

I'm here. I'm looking, dumpling.

It's the woman who tried to steal our room, and we have little Byron. Oh,

me. My contractions were two minutes apart, and yours were four minutes

I'm so glad you put it all behind you.

It's all blood under the bridge.

So, how are you? You look great.

Fine, thank you. You know, a good room was actually a great room.

I'm sure it was.

Climate control percale sheets.

Even the stirrups were a pleasure. Glad it worked out for you.

Where's your baby?

We left her at home this time. My husband and I are going to a friend's

Oh, and where is he?

We took separate flights for the baby.

That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

No, no, no. No, I'm sorry. I just mean, Erwin and I discussed it at length

before we finally came to my conclusion, didn't we? And we decided against it.

It just seems so stupid.

You know what? I would love to spend this flight just sort of...

Relaxing, catching up on some reading, just kind of being by myself. Hey, hey,

hey, you recognized me, you know. You engaged me in conversation.

Believe me, if I could unengage you... You started in about the good room.

Mea culpa. Fine.

Move over, I gotta pee.

Excuse me, are there any empty seats on this plane anywhere?

I'm sorry, ma 'am, we're all full up.

I know. I know. It's a little hot back here.

Daddy's trying to do something about it. Okay.

Hey, buddy. Huh? Hi.

What's your name?

Uh, Paul.

Well, hey, what do you know? My name's Earl.

Small world. Yeah.

Hey, do you mind if I hold your baby?

Oh, what was that?

I bet she stops crying.

You know, I'd rather not.

Come on, let me hold the baby.

Yeah, another night.

Let me ask you, Earl, do you know how to work these fans?

Fans aren't the problem, my friend.

They're not? No.

Well, what's the problem?

First class.

The problem is first class. They don't have any heat. They're cold.

So they're cranking it up back here, hoping that it wafts forward.

Well, that's not right.

Tip of the iceberg, my friend. Huh? They got it great in first class. They got

the big seats. They got the good forks. They got the good orange slices.

What do you mean the good orange slices?

Oh, you've never seen the orange slices in first class?

They're the good ones.

None of that white lucky stuff from the middle of the orange?

No. We get the slices with the white stuff.

I did not know that. Yes.

Oh, look at the baby.

Hello, little girl.

Oh, what's her name?

Mabel. Oh, that's a lovely name.

Thank you.

We took a lot of heat for that.

Hello, Mabel.

Oh, Melissa.

Carrie, come and go see the baby.

Oh,

there's nothing more adorable than a father traveling alone with his babies.

Anything we can get you, you let us know.

Sure. All right. Bye -bye, neighbor.

Bye -bye, pumpkin.

Oh, man, you blew it.

What?

They love you.

You're the adorable father traveling alone in 12C. You have the power to

change, and you blew it.

What are you talking about?

The heat.

Ask them about the heat. Of course. Yeah, I should go do that.

I'll watch the kid.

That's okay.

I'll take care of him. Come on, sweetie.

Hey, look who's here. It's your little friend.

I'm begging you.

Hi,

excuse me. What are you doing here in first class?

You don't remember me?

Sir. Like ten seconds ago. Look, sir. 12C, single father. Sir. Sir,

this is first class.

You do not belong here. No, I know. I just want to ask you a favor.

Miss Krabinsk, would you like beluga or sevruga tonight?

Beluga, of course. Get out of here. Oh, my God. Is that Lindsay Krabinsk? I'm

not at liberty to say.

President of Columbia Pictures? Sir, I've asked you nicely to return to coach

class where you belong. Oh, my. You've got to be the pope to get a meeting with

Lindsay Krabinsk. Sir.

Get on back to coach. No, I know. I know. I just... Let's go. I just wanted

ask you...

Is there anything I can do for you?

Yes. I just wanted to say the coach cabin is a little hot, and the baby's

getting uncomfortable, so I was just wondering, could we turn the heat down

a tad? Oh, I'm sure I can manage that.

Anything else?

Can you tell me, is that Lindsay Krabinsk?

Uh -huh. Wow!

Anything else?

Um, you know what? The guy behind me hasn't had a decent orange in, like,

apparently 12 years. So can we find him something?

Oh, by all means. Yeah? Okay, great. Anything else?

Um, can I get the whole can of tomato juice?

Sure. Oh, can you?

Oh,

I love you.

How you doing back there, Earl? A little cooler now?

By God, it's like Switzerland in January.

And this orange.

Pretty good, huh?

This is grade A citrus, my friend.

Enjoy. You rang Mr. Buckman?

Yes. Um, I was wondering, what is the, uh, film today?

Oh, in coach it's broken. And in first class it's anything you want.

Okay,

let me ask you. If I were to give you a tape...

and ask you to suggest to Lindsay Crepence that she watch it, could you do

for me? Gee, I don't know.

You could suggest it to her. She watches a little bit. She doesn't like it.

Check it right out. I don't know, because you see... You know what?

It's really not just me.

It's Mabel. Mabel really wants Ms. Crepence to see the film.

She said... Oh,

I love you.

Oh, good book.

Yeah.

Terrible that he dies.

What are you looking at? Baby's fuss.

No, no, no. I was just... Nothing.

I just miss my daughter.

Oh, you had a little girl.

Yeah. Mabel.

Beautiful name.

Oh, thank you. We took a lot of heat for that. Oh, well, Byron was no day at the

beach, believe me.

Okay.

You want to hold him?

Yeah, can I? Sure.

Hi. Come here.

Come here. Oh, hi, cutie.

You're pretty good at that.

Thanks. Will it be chicken or fish tonight?

Chicken.

I'm sorry. We only have one chicken left. Oh, well, I'm having the chicken.

Dying to have fish? If you think I am eating airplane fish, you are wrong,

wrong, wrong.

Byron, two words.

Good luck.

Two more words. Boarding school.

All because a guy named Emil Buckman looked around Vladivostok one day and

to his wife, Gert, how do you feel about America?

Really? Uh -huh.

Oh, she's crying.

Oh, my God. Oh, I love it when they cry.

Oh, you must be really excited to know that somebody... What are you doing?

You just turn it right around, mister.

Okay, okay, okay.

Stewardess?

Yes? This was wonderful.

Where did you find this? I haven't heard a thing about it. Well, actually, Ms.

Krabinsk, the director is on board this plane, and he's traveling with the most

adorable baby. So cute.

Let me ask you something.

Can you send him up here?

Up here? In first class?

Yes.

But he's in coach. I understand, but send him up here. But he's in coach.

Miss Kabinsk, hi.

Hi, I'm Paul Buckman. I directed the film I think you just enjoyed.

Oh, hello, Paul. Hello, very nice to meet you. And this is little Mabel.

Oh, she really is cute.

Yeah.

Please, won't you sit down?

Really? Thank you so much. Would you like some caviar?

Well, yes, please.

Beluga or savruga?

Beluga.

And some chips if you got them.

It's a little nippy up here, isn't it? Oh, yes, I know. I'm sorry. Apparently

some freak back in coach made them turn down the heat. Here you go. Animals.

Ooh, this is soft.

Paul, I found your film utterly charming and captivating and... Wow.

Okay, Ms. Grabinski, you have no idea what that means to me.

Well, I know that I want to see you first thing tomorrow morning and discuss

future projects.

Future projects?

I would love to do that.

And I love that you'd love to do it. Well, then I love that back and let's do

it. Okay.

Well,

I'll tell you, it's just amazing what having a cute baby will do.

I mean, that stewardess, she was falling all over herself just to help me out.

Even when I slipped her the tape to give to you, I said, just give it to her.

She couldn't help herself.

Yep, this one is really paying off.

Hang on a second.

You mean to tell me that you used your daughter to manipulate the fragile

sensibilities of a stewardess?

No, I wouldn't say that.

You did.

You plied Mabel's appeal and took advantage of an employee's goodwill.

I don't know that.

You connived in that way that people in my position hate more than life itself.

No, I didn't.

There was no way.

I can't condone or reward this kind of behavior with a meeting.

You can't?

What kind of a professional would I be?

Oh, you'd be a kind professional. A compassionate... Look, if there's

anything... Exactly.

Mr. Vince, is there a problem?

Well,

I guess I should... I'm saying... I'm saying I should be going!

Okay.

Let's go back to coach.

You know what?

And what did you say?

Separate planes. That's right. To avoid what? A big disaster. That's right. And

what did I say? No separate planes. That's right. And what happened? Big

disaster. Okay, so we're saying I would be... Right. That's all I'm saying.

Okay.

It's okay.

It's okay to cry.

I know.

Because you're on a big airplane and it's scary.

It's scary to be on a plane.

Yes, it is.

That's okay, cry.

You let it out.

We understand how you feel.

Oh, it's okay.

Would you like me to say, ba -ba -black sheep again?

Ba -ba -black sheep, have you any more?

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Yes,

sir.