Original subtitles

What's the numbers?

1 -200 -WALK -QUICK. 1 -200 -WALK -W -O

-K.

There's no Q.

It's with a K -W.

Quick. K -K -W -I -C -K.

K -W -I -K. No C.

Okay, so how is this faster?

Tell me who can start my heart as much as you.

Tell me all your secrets.

Tell you most of mine.

They say nobody's perfect.

Well, that's really true this time.

I don't have the answers.

I don't have a plan.

All I have to use, oh baby, help me understand. What we do.

You can whisper in my ear. Where we go.

Who knows what happens after here?

Let's take each other's hand and jump into the final frontier.

Final frontier.

You know what? Here's a memo to sharper image.

Nobody needs a $6 ,000 gumball machine.

comes in bright red ink. That's bad, right?

Generally speaking, that's not good. Hey, guess what? I thought you paid

I'm a genius.

Interruption in service is not paid by the ninth of today.

Sweetie, you know the Van de Graaff Foundation?

No. Yes, you do. Every year they give out the genius awards.

Never heard of them.

Well, be that as it may, they have reviewed my body of work, including my

ombudsman, and they've decided I'm...

A genius.

You're married to a genius.

Hence, I am a genius.

That's great, sweetie.

That's great, sweetie? That's what you have to say about that? You're going to

be a genius fumbling around in the dark if you don't pay this by today.

What would I have to do to impress you at this point?

Oh, I think it got a little bit cooler.

I don't think you understand the full magnet. I think it's a little bit too

to walk in the park in just your jacket. What do you think, Mabel?

A genius right here in your lobby.

We need to try to put on a little sweater underneath your jacket. What do

think? What did we talk about before about layers?

She doesn't completely understand you. You know that, right? It doesn't matter.

Every time you talk to a child, their brain grows.

You know what? That's probably true. You think how much my mother talks? Look at

my brains.

I want a banana.

Sorry to be taking over the lobby. Have a cracker.

Sarah McKay. Hi. Hi.

This is my gang. I'm Jamie. This is Paul Buckman. We're in 11D. Hello. Hi.

Nice to meet you. This is little Mabel. Wow, she's really bundled up there. Yep.

It's going to go into the 40s later. Cooler at the shore.

Mom? Tell me you have help. Yeah. We have a daddy, but he moved to Seattle

his masseuse, Daphne. Okay.

Sorry. Okay, sweetie, there you go. Wow, I've never seen one of those before.

Yep, they're pictures of the U .S. presidents, and when you spin them, they

their famous speeches.

Really?

Cool. Never too early for a history lesson, right?

Yeah, whatever.

Mabel likes Ike.

And yet, ironically, she voted for Stevenson, so... Would you like the name

the catalog?

Okay, sure. Great. Pen? Do you have a pen?

Oh, wait, wait. I never leave home without a crayon.

Oh, great.

I don't have paper and other things. Just a second. I'm going to test

over here.

Claire, look. Your banana.

Okay, wait. You know what? Here's a check.

And my phone number's on the front.

Great. Oh, look. You've got the bighorn sheep.

Remember how much I wanted those?

Not a day goes by.

Okay, gang. Come on. We're out of here.

Okay, well, I'll call you this afternoon.

Terrific. Okay. Very nice to meet you all.

Yeah, and you.

Mommy, it's cold.

Oh, come on. It's good for you.

Wow. Yeah.

All right, so that's like us in six or seven years, not what?

Not quite.

Why not?

Hopefully you will not be living in another city with your masseuse.

And I will not be feeding our underdressed children linty crackers.

But besides that... All right.

Get the door, Einstein.

Don't say it if you don't mean it.

You?

Yeah. A genius award?

That's right, my friend.

Come on.

Does it not say it right there on the paper? Well, there's got to be some sort

of clerical error or something.

It's perfectly conceivable.

I mean, somewhere, somebody in the world has got to be a genius, right?

So who's to say that I couldn't be a genius? There's no reason. You're a big

genius. Give me that. It seems to be stuck. Give me that.

Genius. Okay.

It just so happens very often, you know, geniuses are not necessarily skilled at

menial tasks. Yeah, uh -huh. That's true. You know, Mozart, very skilled at

piano, constantly losing his flute.

My dad hides me. Sorry I missed you. Just called to say, you know, nothing.

hi, how you doing, and tell you I'm a genius. Okay, so call me.

Okay, Paulie's so great, man.

All we gotta do is get your okay on this, and we are done, my friend.

Uh, okay, good, just a second.

Debbie? Hi, it's me.

Uh, just wanted to know if, uh, when I was at your house last week, did I by

chance leave my windbreaker? Is it a blue windbreaker with a plaid lining?

Wanted to ask you that. What else did I want to say?

Oh, yeah, I'm a genius, too. All right, so quickly.

All right.

Polly, please.

Oh, let me enjoy it, would you? How often does a person get this kind of

recognition? All right, but look. How about this poster? It turned out great,

didn't it?

It's all right.

It's exactly what we said.

You know, it is.

But I'm just looking at it now with fresh eyes and just rolling it around my

brain.

I'm wondering if we can't beat the theme line.

Buckman, come meet the family. It's a terrific theme line.

What?

It's fantastic. It tells what the movie is. It's inviting. It's clear.

What?

Is it genius?

Come on. Are you serious?

Well, you know, let me just, off the top of my head, let me just spitball a

little bit, all right?

Run this right by you, all right? Here we go. Buckman family tree. I'm

Buckman from a single leaf.

Yes.

Just that.

From a single leaf. Buckman from a single leaf.

What? From a single leaf. I'll say tree, leaf, tree to leaf, tree to leaf, tree

to leaf. It's a leaf.

From a single Buckman immigrant. It has to be clear, okay? It has to explain

exactly what the movie is.

Well, I'm just trying to think. We can't do something a little special. All

right, how about this? What?

This now.

Buckman, a few droplets in the rain barrel of humanity.

We've got the rain, we've got humanity, everything is there. Do you understand

what I'm saying to you? What? Clear.

It's clear.

Apollo 13.

Houston, we have a problem.

All right, okay, all right.

Again, just came to me. Ready?

Yeah, from me to you, I'm giving it to you right now.

Buckman.

Where does it go? What does it mean?

Hey, how about this?

Buckman, for external use only.

I need that check back.

Okay, that's my last one.

Please!

No, where? No, hon. That's for the fireman. All right. Hey, Sarah. Hello.

right, we're all set tomorrow, Shay, Philippe. You, me, Mom, Dad, Ira, Deb. A

little celebration dinner.

What are you celebrating?

Oh, I just won a little award from the Van de Graaff Foundation.

What, a genius award?

Do they call it that? I hope it's not a word.

That's really great. Ah, you know, whatever.

Ow! Ow!

Ow! Now, you don't want to know.

Okay. Okay.

See you later.

You know, I have these four tickets to the New York Liberty game tonight. Is

that something that you would be interested in, or are you sick of me

No, we love that. We love the WNBA. You know who loves women's basketball? My

cousin, Ira. Okay, Sarah, I don't know if this is anything you'd be interested

in, but he... If he's straight, I'm in.

Really? Paul, what do you think?

I think he's straight.

What do you mean? Oh, yeah.

Definitely. Excellent. It'll be a double date. Oh, don't call it that, though.

No. Okay, it's not a date. No, it is, but don't call it that because it makes

everybody crazy. You're right. No date.

Oh, oh, Nora, sweetie.

Nora, that's okay.

It's okay. You just got scared. You got scared because the doggie barked. The

only way the doggie can communicate with you is to bark.

What, are you kidding me? How did you get these seats? Well, actually, I do

media relations for the team.

Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna to you.

Hey, I don't sit this close to pick -up games at the Y.

It's like a totally different game from this distance. Oh, it's incredible. You

can see their facial expressions.

Yeah.

Wow. She's pretty, too.

Who is that? Hey, is that Bobby Spinkler? Oh, yeah, he's a fan.

Yeah, we don't get the Jack Nicholson and the Spike Lee's just yet, but we're

getting there.

Is that RuPaul?

Wow. That's him. She looks great.

I'm telling you, that guy is a genius.

If you overuse the word, all you do is diminish its meaning.

You want to meet Bella Absinthe? Yes. Okay. Be right back.

All righty.

Hey,

have I been watching too many Disney films, or is he just dreamy? No,

both.

I tell you, Polly, there is something about an athletic woman, you know?

Just stop right there, would you?

Don't even go there. These women are 11 feet taller than you.

So what?

Maybe they prefer a more petite man.

Why?

Why would they prefer a petite man?

Because it makes them feel more powerful.

They already have the power.

She could kill you.

I know. I love that.

Hi. Hi. Hey.

How's Bella? Great. And?

We met Rick Springfield.

Wow.

Hey, Rebecca.

Hey, Sarah. How's it going?

Great. I want you to meet some friends of mine.

Good luck tonight. We're big fans.

Oh, yeah.

Actually, as a matter of fact, I am loco for loco.

Thank you. Or, if you will, crazy for the wolf. I understand.

You have a great game, huh? Thanks. I'll try.

All right.

I can't enjoy that.

She's lovely, isn't she? Yes, she is.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to welcome your new York Liberty.

All right,

let me try this.

Buckman family, just add water.

What? You just add water, because when you bring an immigrant across water, you

get a whole new family history.

Who exactly did you beat out for this award?

That was fun, the game.

Yeah, it was.

Where did you disappear to afterwards?

Well, a little errand. A little errand I had to run.

What kind of little errand?

A little phone number I had to get.

Whose phone number?

Sarah's.

A little Rebecca Lobo phone number?

Get out of here. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, read it and yearn.

You blew off your date to get another woman's phone number?

My date? Who was my date?

Sarah, the woman who sat next to you and laughed at every marginally funny thing

you said for three hours?

She was my date?

We didn't tell you it was a date because she didn't want it to be awkward.

Well, congratulations. I was totally comfortable.

person when they're on a date, don't you? Well, we foolishly figured that you

could cull it from the context.

What do you want from me? You know, me and Sarah, we didn't connect. You

to before you went loco for Lobo.

No more.

She went ballistic for Buckman.

You just can't stand in the way of chemistry, James. You and Rebecca Lobo,

perfect match.

Well, you know, we had a terrific conversation, she and I.

I learned a great deal about her. She got her degree in poli -sci. Her

father is from Cuba.

She's an avid golfer, a voracious reader, and her dislikes include rude

ceiling fans, and polka music.

Okay. Okay. Here it is.

Buckman, when you look in the mirror and there's no one there, how come that is?

I'm sorry. I'm going to kill Rebecca Lobo. I'm so sorry.

I'm going to look her in the kneecap, and I'm going to say what gives.

I'm really sorry this happened. She saw me with him. I introduced her to him.

My James and the Giant Peach socks.

We can always turn it off.

No!

Boy, they sure like their TV, huh?

Oh, thank God.

You know, Paul and I were thinking it might be better if Mabel actually didn't

watch any TV at all.

You're absolutely right.

We'll talk when she's four.

I mean, she sees that I'm with the guy. You know, what's she thinking?

I know. I know, sweetie. I know you want your music box.

I know. I see that you're frustrated.

You must be very hard.

What do you say to them when they just fixate on one thing and you want to give

it to them, but you can't? I say, get over it, but that's just me.

Can I impose on you for just a little while to watch the kids? Sure, where are

you going?

I'm going to get me a stepladder and give Ms. Lobo a piece of my mind.

Are you sure that's a good idea?

Oh, I'm sure.

I just, I couldn't watch that anymore.

Hey,

are you here with Rebecca?

Yeah. Hi, I'm Jim.

I'm with Cindy Bill. Hi, Ira. How you doing? Yeah, I'm Tony. I'm with Peggy

Hughes. Tony, what's up?

Daniel, I'm with Slippy Hardaway.

How's it going? I'm just praying we can hang on and win this thing. Yeah.

Hey,

did the girls say they're playing golf tomorrow?

I think so, yeah.

Slippy and I haven't had any alone time in like weeks.

Talk to me, boyfriend.

Two shots.

Eddie, Eddie, guess what?

I spoke to Rebecca, and she asked me to make sure you play polka music when

she's at the free throw line, which she is right now.

So. Really?

Yeah. Because she told me if I ever played a polka during the game, she'd

my head.

Oh, yeah, yeah, but that's from before.

No, that's all over.

Really? Eddie, why in heaven would I make something like that up?

You live in a giant peach? Yeah. You know what, Patrick? Let's turn off the

Maybe we can do some reading.

Oh, Mabel.

Mabel, sweetie, it's open.

Oh, baby, it's open.

Claire,

maybe don't kick the ball in here. Come here.

You know what? You're not helping at all.

Claire, it seems to me it's kind of more of an outside game. What do you think

it's inside you?

It's so good that you're excited for your sister.

Okay, more.

Just give me one.

All right.

Relax.

You, sit down.

Here, eat these.

One more bark out of you, you're going to live on a farm.

Sit down, watch James and the Giant Peach, and somehow deal with the fact

they live in a giant peach.

All right?

All right?

All right. All right.

The electric bill.

I'm going to kill him.

One child.

What's that?

We're having one child and one child only.

Okay. Just thought you should know.

All right.

And everybody, if you would, now that we're all here, please raise your

And I just want to thank you all for coming to celebrate my news. And I've

to say, I'm not that surprised that I won the award. Oh, my God.

I always knew you were a genius.

Did you really? Yes, since you got that A in English.

And after Debbie, that was really like a miracle.

Okay, okay, okay.

Hey, this is just so typical. Oh, please, Debbie, don't get started.

Oh. Happy, happy.

Why don't you just admit it? You always thought Paul was smarter.

No, Deb, I don't think that's what's being said here.

Debbie was always very popular.

Deb,

nobody's comparing us. We're not comparing you to me. We're simply here

celebrate that, in and of itself, I am extraordinary.

You know what? I have to be somewhere. Where?

Borneo. Shut up.

I'll call you tomorrow.

Debbie, come on. Come on. Debbie, he didn't mean it.

Clam?

I mean, how did she ever get it in her head that I... I think you're smarter

than her.

Do you? Do you think I'm smarter than her? Yes, but the point is, how did you

ever get it in her head?

Well, you know, if I may, maybe you could have given a little more care to

protect her feelings. Are you telling me this is my fault? No, I'm just

thinking, you know, that you could rise above the fray. You'd be the big person.

Are you telling me how to raise my child?

No, not at all. Who do you think you are? Mother, I'm simply saying that...

Bert, get the coats.

What about the garlic bread?

Bert...

You know, I want to tell you something. There's genius, and then there's wise

guy.

Itself. Come on, don't take offense. Itself.

Well, they really didn't take what I said in the spirit in which it was

intended. I'm really trying to give them the benefit of my perspective, which,

not to be egotistical, but I think coming from me at this point in time...

you excuse me?

Well, no, what... What

is it with people?

You know, Pauly, listen, I hope you don't mind. I had to drop the poster at

printer. I went with Buckman, come meet the family.

Really? It's going to be fine.

I'm just wondering, should we add something to it?

Maybe at the bottom?

Winner of the Van de Graaff Genius Award?

Something like that?

The seminal work from our genius... Just stop.

The stuff of genius. Okay, all right.

They have never gotten me.

Okay, baby.

Here we go.

Show us what you got.

Sure.

I'm sure.

Absolutely. You got nothing. You got nothing.

That's it.

All right.

First of all, you traveled.

Secondly, I'm in like hush puppies here.

All right.

Thank you.

You play miniature golf?

No miniature golf.

Backhand, part cheesy, checkers, any sitting games?