Original subtitles

Yes, I'm calling from the church. I'd like to confirm it. I've been getting

rhyme out for two hours. Can you tell me approximately how much money was

missing?

Was it over a thousand dollars?

Nobody and nothing.

Well, I figure with telephone tips, you catch them 10 % and you're ahead. Well,

I figure at least they would have some heavy stuff.

Explosives and maybe in the front and back.

Something they couldn't move in a hurry.

Just like this is it.

Wait a minute. This might be something.

I think that's a list of friends or enemies.

Enemies. Follow up on it and keep it quiet.

Hi, Hanlon. I got here as quick as I could. So did I. Well, now I'm sorry we

called you guys.

Everybody gone? Yeah, we came up empty.

Oh, that's okay.

Radical group litter's locked. Tell the story.

No, I'm serious, Charlie.

You're one lucky guy.

Being chairman of a convention like that could be a lot of fun.

Boy, a weekend in Palm Springs with Mrs. Pinchot.

and 100 other publishers and editors complaining to you. That's better than

taking a busload of Cub Scots to Disneyland.

Hey, you get to wear one of those neat little ribbons that says official on it.

I think you're exaggerating. These conventions can be very useful and

enlightening. Oh, they can.

You learn a lot.

A bunch of over -the -hill old geezers holding forth on freedom of the press.

Or TV journalism, friend or foe. Or your horse really made reservations.

I really wish you wouldn't take that attitude.

Why? Since when can't you take a little kitty? It's not that. You didn't let me

finish. What?

Mrs. Pinchot wants you to go, too.

What? Yeah.

She suggested to me that you be one of the speakers. I thought that would be an

excellent idea.

Of course, you can always refuse if you want to.

It's just a... Panel discussion, Mr. Grant. You don't have to make a speech.

A panel discussion about what?

The changing role of the city desk.

Well, frankly, I don't know anything about the changing role of the city

didn't know it had changed.

Well, then, we'll make it the unchanging role of the city desk.

You see, Mr. Grant, we're easy.

I'm not. I hate panel discussions.

So do I.

With you in charge, at least I'll know yours will be over in a hurry.

Oh, he's away lately. I've been keeping score, Lou.

This is not a pleasure trip, period.

Well, it sure doesn't sound too hard to take.

Palm Springs, sun, swimming, just sit by the pool, sip rum drinks, get a tan.

I don't believe this.

Are you kidding? Lou's going to be locked up in conference rooms all day,

sitting through endless lectures on cliche topics by boring old poops. Would

want to suffer through that?

Not when you put it that way.

Thanks for putting it that way.

Believe me, Lou, I sympathize.

You want me to do anything while you're gone?

Yeah, you can stop by my house tomorrow and pick up my mail. I don't want

anybody knowing I'm not at home.

I'd be glad to. Anything else?

Yeah, read it and answer it.

No, that'll be fine.

Hey, Lou, I hear you're taking some time off.

Hmm.

This is not time off. I have to go to Palm Springs.

Have to go to Palm Springs, I see.

Where he has to sit through incredibly boring talks by pompous old... Do you

mind if I tell him about it?

Well, as long as you're going to be in the desert, Lou, you might want to

through on a pretty good lead I got. Yeah, what?

Remember the SMM?

Isn't that the sadism and masochism movement?

Those guys love to lose.

The 17th of May movement, a radical group named after the date of the SLA

shootout. Oh, very sentimental.

I thought they went underground.

They did for a while, but they seem to be back in business. Yesterday, the cops

raided one of their headquarters.

Now, I can't get straight answers from anybody yet, but...

Something is supposed to happen and Palm Springs is involved because I heard the

name mentioned about six times by the cops. Palm Springs?

Maybe they were planning their retirement.

Lou, why don't you take this seriously?

I just don't believe in jumping every time three hostile middle class dropouts

get together, blow up a garage and declare themselves a world revolutionary

army. I get a little tired of giving them all this free publicity.

That's a very narrow attitude.

I'm a very narrow person. I can see what you mean, Lou, but I think the SMM is a

bit more than three middle -class kids.

Four? Five?

Lou, this group is for real.

At least according to the cops that raided this joint. Sure, even three kids

hurt a lot of people if they get their hands on guns and explosives.

I just don't think it's an earth -shaking political event.

Sorry, Lou's going to be busy every minute in Palm Springs, sipping

under the stars.

Will you knock it off? I'm tired of that theme, too. This is a business trip I

don't particularly want to take, and there's no pleasure whatsoever involved.

My God, I'm going to be there with Charlie.

You don't think I can be fun?

I'm a fun guy.

Charlie.

I'm going to be seeing a lot of white shoes around here the next couple of

And white belts.

Why is that?

People in places like this walk around in clothes that they wouldn't dare wear

anyplace else in the world.

I thought you two would never get here.

Weather's beautiful, isn't it? It's been like this for two days, and the

turnout's been fantastic.

Listen, I'll help you check in, and then you can change into something

comfortable.

I already did.

You know what you should do, don't you? Call Driscoll at the cop house.

What? You're crazy. They won't tell me. They won't tell Driscoll.

Besides, we're not exactly blood brothers.

A good reporter wouldn't let personal hostility stand between him and a story.

Who are you to tell me what a good reporter would or wouldn't do? Don't you

think I'm capable of making that judgment?

Capable, yes. I think you're capable. Very capable.

If only you weren't so stubborn that... Who are you calling? What do you mean

calling? I'm not calling anybody.

Hello, Driscoll? It's Rossi, yeah.

Hi, buddy.

Listen, we're kind of curious about this S .A .M .M. thing.

Yeah, no one seems to be talking over there.

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh. Yeah, I see.

Okay, Jessica, thanks.

I really appreciate it.

They won't tell him anything either.

Well, then what did you thank him for?

Because he dug around on his own and came up with something kind of

Apparently, this plot involves kidnapping an important person. They're

who. But Driscoll says it's supposed to take place in Palm Springs at a

convention. A newspaper convention.

Lou Grant will continue in a moment here on A &E.

Delegates to the editor's convention, please check in with security and have

your picture taken.

Picture? For the ID badge, a standard procedure.

It wasn't standard last year.

It's a good idea, don't you think? Helps you remember people's names.

Why don't you have us wear little tags with smiling faces on them that say, Hi,

I'm Lou.

We had to do it at the last minute. I'll tell you about it later.

I wouldn't mind if they took a decent picture.

I've never had an ID photo taken that didn't make me look like I was on hard

drugs.

Lou Grant, Los Angeles Tribune.

Hello, Margaret.

Why, hello, Jeffrey.

Charlie, do you know Jeffrey Anson from Seattle?

Charles Hume from our paper. He's the chairman this year.

Oh, yes, of course.

Hume. Lovely wife here?

No, with all the responsibility I have this year, we decided it would be more

fun for Marion to stay home, so we... Margaret, you're looking as wonderful as

ever. Tell me, how's Matthew?

Fine.

Thank you.

He'll be along in a minute.

Oh, well, perhaps I'll see you both at the bar later.

Nice seeing you again.

Well, up to Maryland.

Marion.

Mrs. Pritchard, you said that your husband was... I know.

Mr. Anson is a bit of a problem.

Even when Matthew was alive, he used to make passes at me.

Imagine what he'll do when he discovers I'm a widow.

Not bad, do you think?

Oh, it's not bad at all. Who is it?

Oh, no, no. Sorry, Louie. You're going to have to wear that badge all the time.

You won't be able to stay here.

Suits me.

Where's the bus stop? Oh, not so fast, Mr. Grant.

We're all in this together.

You will wear your badge and I will wear mine.

What do you want us to do with them when we're in the pool?

First convention, isn't it?

Mr. Grant, I have messages for you. Mr.

Donovan from your paper.

And it seems that there's been a mistake on your bill.

How can that be? I'm just not checking in.

I don't know. But it says here that a waiter overcharged you $5 on your bar

this noon.

We've given you a credit.

I wasn't here this noon.

Oh? Isn't this your signature?

No. It's my name. It's not my signature.

Oh, how embarrassing.

As you can see, it's quite a large bill.

Yeah, yeah.

It sure is.

Well, at least I'm a big tipper.

Listen, Donovan.

My skepticism about the SMM doesn't blind me to the chance that there's a

there. Well, Disko's been doing some digging. He thinks the cops are on to

something big.

That's speculation.

I still don't think we should print anything till we have concrete evidence.

Well, the cops think it's for real. I'd like to have some kind of a story to go

with in case it breaks.

Okay, fine, but check with me before you make a move.

I'd hate to do anything to spoil this terrific convention.

I knew you'd enjoy yourself once you got there, Lou. We'll keep you posted.

He's still not taking it seriously?

Hard to tell.

He wants us to keep on the story.

Don't worry. I sent Driscoll a bottle of booze and a small love letter. I'll

know within minutes if the police pick up Sandra Harwood or... Who?

Sandra Harwood. She's head of the SMM.

She's also one of the FBI's ten most wanted, and I sat next to her in music

appreciation in college.

You kept in touch with her? Not since the final. What do you think, Rossi? I

hang out with people that blow up power lines?

Why don't you see if you can get a hold of her?

Well, there is a radical underground. I could put out some feelers.

Oh, that's not going to work, Billy. You can't penetrate that network. They're

so paranoid.

Well, if you blunder in, you might scare them off. But there are some people on

this paper that know a thing or two about Vanessa.

Who?

So that's why we're having to go in for all this security.

Oh, Lord, kidnapping.

Well, that takes some of the pleasure out of the weekend, doesn't it? That's

I feel. I'm chairman.

First time I'm chairman and there's a kidnapping threat.

Well, Charlie, I don't think anybody's going to hold you responsible.

Although he's going to look bad on your resume.

Laugh, Lou.

But we're taking this thing seriously.

That's why you have to have your photographs on the badges.

So they can make sure everyone is who he says he is.

Well, they're not doing a great job so far.

Someone signed my name on almost a $50 bar chit today.

What?

Do you have any idea who that could be?

I'm keeping my eye out for a guy who is very, very drunk.

Look, Lou, I'm not speaking now as your managing editor, but as the chairman of

this convention, I'd rather not see this thing get into the papers until we've

had further word from the authorities.

Sure. No point in getting people excited over nothing.

I don't think kidnapping by a bunch of fanatics is nothing. A threat of

kidnapping. They may never have gone beyond the talking stage. And don't

nobody has ever actually laid eyes on a single possible suspect.

Well, if someone is interested in kidnapping, our badges will certainly

identify us.

Oh.

Actually, the pictures are annoyed.

Good.

Hmm.

No, no, no. I insist. I insist. This one's on me.

I think I just solved the mystery of who's signing my name to things.

No.

No, no, Jack.

I make my G's with a much bigger flourish.

You son of a gun.

Fantastic.

Fantastic.

Look at you, son of a gun.

Buy you a drink. No, why not? I seem to have been buying you drinks all

afternoon. Oh, I made a lot of friends for you, Lou, huh? Oh, I doubt that.

Knowing you, I'm sure you told them old Jack Riley was treating and then signed

Lou Grant when nobody was looking. Well, I intend to pay back every penny.

You're damn right.

Oh, no, I insist. I insist. Jack Riley does not take charity from anyone, my

friend. Who offered it?

Lou, why don't we move over there? We won't be disturbed.

Okay. Excuse us. Oh, Jack.

Your chair.

Lou Grant will continue in a moment here on A &E.

So what are you doing here anyway, Jack?

Trying to get a job, Lou.

I'm out of work and I'm broke.

But what's new?

Come on.

So how did you get invited to this convention?

I'm representing the Flagstaff Herald.

My God, Jack, how do you have the guts to pull something like that?

No, it's true. Up until two months ago, I was managing editor of the Flagstaff

Herald. I knew they'd be invited and that I couldn't afford to send someone.

So even though they fired me, I'm still looking out for their interest.

I'm here at my own expense.

Or mine.

Waiter looks familiar.

Maybe he was your food editor in Flagstaff. I'm not kidding. I swear I

waiter from somewhere.

Never mind a waiter.

I want to know what you're doing when you're signing my name to enormous bar

bills. I can understand you're mooching a couple of drinks for yourself, but why

are you staying in the house?

I'm entertaining potential employers.

Lou, in this business, you gotta do it.

I'm at this convention to sell Jack Riley.

That's why it's important that they think I'm already employed.

Because it's always easier to land a job when you've already got one than when

you're on your ear.

Exactly, exactly. If they think I'm a hot prospect, they'll break their necks

trying to hire me away from the old herald.

Which is why I'll appreciate your help, Lou. I may have to use you as a

reference.

Jack, you get the most gall of anyone I ever know.

Lou, I am a helpless victim of circumstance.

You're going to be a victim of more than that if you sign my name to any more

bar chips.

You'll get it all back as soon as I'm hired by someone.

Now, where's your table?

I'll show you.

You want to do that, Jack?

Yeah.

I'm with Mrs. Pinchon.

The publisher you swindled out of 5 ,000 bucks in that Luther Cardell scam last

year. Really? Fantastic.

I'll be over in a little while. Oh.

Meantime, I think I'd better keep circulating.

Mm -hmm.

Hey, waiter.

Yes, sir. Could I know you from somewhere?

Have you ever stayed at this hotel before, sir?

Can't say that I have.

Then I don't think so, sir.

Excuse me. I thought this was my table.

Oh, well, I owe you an apology.

It probably is. I just sat down.

No, no.

That's okay.

That's okay. I mean, I left some friends here.

I swear I didn't take them.

I must have gone.

What? Can I buy you a drink?

Can you buy me a drink?

Well, I didn't take your table.

Lois Craig, Fort Worth Sentinel.

Lou Grant, Los Angeles Tribune. Pleased to meet you.

You're an editor?

Mm -hmm. Sports.

Oh, come on.

You're serious?

Mm -hmm.

That's great.

What's great about it? Oh, you know, I mean, that's terrific.

Some of my best reporters are women.

No, I didn't mean that the way it sounded.

You know Billy Newman?

No, who's he?

He's a woman.

She works for me.

And nobody has to tell me.

A woman can be just as good a newsman as any...

Sports editor.

Mm -hmm.

Great.

Can I take you up on that drink?

No.

Oh.

Donovan, get the latest.

Can it wait until tomorrow?

Sure. No big deal.

The governor has a slight cold.

What do you want us to do, rip out the front page or what? A slight cold on

account of which he canceled out of the editors' convention.

Canceled out on a chance to get his views across to 300 editors who control

people read in cities all over the West.

Sounds like a security move, doesn't it? It does to me.

Lou may not be taking this thing seriously, but somebody sure is.

Lou, wait.

What is it now, Jack?

Remember I told you I'd seen that waiter?

Well, I have.

I just remembered where.

Oh, yeah, Jack?

Where? In jail.

He was in jail with me last year.

And what were you in jail for, Jack?

It's unimportant.

Misunderstanding. A misunderstanding?

That's right.

Involving funds for a boys' camp.

It was conned, Lou.

victimized by a rogue priest and a shady scoutmaster.

Right, Jack.

You've got to believe me. That guy was in the joint with me. He shouldn't be

here. There's something funny going on.

There always is with you, Jack.

You don't believe anything I say, do you?

Sure, Jack.

Lou Grant will continue in a moment here on A &E.

Oh, could you get me?

A &E returns to Lou Grant.

Ladies and gentlemen, the

police have asked me to bring you up to date. I'd like to emphasize this point.

At this time, they have no reason to believe that anybody else has

this conference.

As far as we know, the man taken into custody may have been working alone.

Or maybe not. We just don't know.

If you knew about this so -called plot two days ago, why weren't we told?

Poor Mr.

Hume, what he's going through. Do you know if he was able to find another

speaker yet?

Last I heard, Henny Youngman turned him down.

Because we didn't want to cause any panic.

We didn't want to give these people a lot of free publicity. We had no reason

believe necessarily that anything was going to happen. Not enough to cancel

conference, certainly.

Well, you gotta cancel what you gotta cancel.

And we still don't. But the fact is, as I stated it, the escaped convict posing

as a waiter has a criminal record as long as my arm.

However... However, the fact that this waiter had a police record in no way

establishes any connection between him and the SMM. I mean, he's not a radical.

His convictions ran strictly to burglary and assault.

You have nothing to worry about on that score.

On the other hand, the fact that this convention was so easily infiltrated

worries the police, and that means that we're going to have to double our

security.

It also means that those of you who don't wish to run any further risks

probably check out of this convention right here now.

Leave? Are you kidding?

We're newspaper people.

Right. Exactly.

And that's where I'm going. Back to the newspaper.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Look, may I have your attention, please? Please.

Charlie, may I? Sure.

Jack Riley, Flagstaff Herald.

Right. Now, uh, I see a lot of friends here.

Hi, Reg.

Bill.

Otis. Lou Grant, Los Angeles Tribune. Great work.

Mrs. Pynchon.

Lovely as ever.

Now, as it happens, I'm the guy who spotted the crook. But that's not

The important thing is, I'm a newspaper man.

I have been all my life.

And I never knew any reporter worth a salt who would run from a little danger.

say let the conference go on!

Thank you, Jack.

Thanks. Thanks, Jack.

And now, let's get on with the business of this conference.

We have three panel discussions scheduled for this morning.

And if I may, I'll remind you of them. At 10 o 'clock in conference room A, a

discussion will be led by Lois Craig of the Fort Worth Sentinel.

Women in the locker room.

And then at 11, immediately following, we'll be discussing...

The changing role of the city editor under the supervision of Lou Grant of

Los Angeles Tribune. And then at noon, we'll be grappling

with the always difficult question, ethics and the press.

And Jim Arthur is chairing.

Wait one second. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Oh, dear. It seems that Jim Arthur won't be able to make it because of illness.

We're fortunate, though, to have a gentleman willing to jump in at the last

minute, and he is... Jack Riley of the Flagstaff Herald.

Ethics, Jack?

Ethics? Come now, Lou. Let's try to be fair and just here. If we wanted to be

fair and just here, Jack, the cops would have arrested you.

Yeah, well, let's just remember who was right about that waiter, Lou. You heard

it here first.

Yeah, big deal. Once in 20 years, you're on a level.

You know, you wound me when you talk that way. You're my closest friend in

world. And I'm counting on you.

Counting on me for what?

For a recommendation.

You know that guy Anson? The publisher of the Seattle Examiner?

He's very hot on me, Lou.

Very, very interested.

He wants to talk to you about me.

Why? What makes him think I'd give you a recommendation?

Oh.

That was a dumb question, wasn't it, Jack?

You gave him my name.

You told him I'd recommend you.

For old time's sake. I knew you wouldn't let me down. You did. Well, let me tell

you something, Jack. When I thought back to all the things we've been through

together, I knew you were the one guy I could count on. I said to myself, Lou

Grant won't let a buddy down when he needs one little break to get back on

feet. That's not the kind of guy Lou Grant is.

Lois.

Hello? Oh, listen, I'm sorry about last night. What I said, I really... I really

put it badly.

I've got absolutely nothing against a woman taking over any man's job. I mean,

job that was formerly thought to be a man's job. Wait a minute.

This is putting it better?

I guess not.

Listen, I really want to have that drink with you.

Sure. But it'll have to wait a while.

Listen, why don't you help me come discuss women in the locker room?

It could get very lively.

Oh, no, no, thanks.

I'd like to, but I have to prepare my own... Besides, the subject is not

close to your heart, is it?

Okay.

I'm old -fashioned, I admit it.

But I still don't think men and women belong in each other's locker rooms.

I've got a lot of crazy ideas like that.

I still think a man should always open a door for a woman.

Unless it's the door to a locker room, right?

Mr. Grant?

Yeah?

I'm Jeffrey Anton, Seattle examiner.

Oh, what can I do for you, Jeff? I'd like to talk to you about a fellow named

Jack Riley.

Oh, I'd love to, but I'm late for the panel discussion on women in the locker

room.

I don't know. I just don't think much of what Burroughs did with the terrorist

story. Nice photo, though, right? Why, what's wrong with it? Lou gave you the

-ahead, didn't he?

Every newspaper in the Southwest is printing stories on the SMM this

Why shouldn't we? That's exactly the problem. Our story sounds just like all

others. We have better photos.

Well, how could it sound any different? No one had anything concrete to go on.

An alleged plot to kidnap an anonymous victim. No details, no specifics.

No photos.

I'm not blaming anybody. I just wish we'd found some angle to make it come to

life. I gather from that you weren't mesmerized by my sidebar. I thought your

part worked the best.

I mean, that's a legitimate angle.

Profile of a radical.

It's a sketch of one of the leaders by someone who knows her personally.

Knew her. Knew her. The entire piece is in the past tense. I thought you had a

way to get to her. Well, that underground network isn't all it's

be. It's a good thing, or they would have taken over by now.

Either the network isn't working, or she doesn't want to get in touch with me.

Boy, I'd sure like a shot at her.

Badly's entitled to basic privacy when he's changing his clothes.

Why can't a woman sports rider wait 15 minutes till a guy's decent?

Because there are 30 male reporters in there in the meantime getting all the

good quotes.

You know as well as I do, it's right after a game when they're all fired up

about a bad call or a coach's bum decision that they want to talk.

A man's locker room is no place for a woman. Why not?

Have you ever heard the way guys talk in a locker room?

There is nothing I have heard in a locker room that I haven't said myself.

Except possibly, who stole my jock?

You know what it all boils down to, don't you, Lois?

There are eight jillion male sportswriters doing a great job without

people's privacy.

There's no reason in the world why this fine old tradition should be overthrown

to accommodate a handful of women.

I am through arguing with you about it right now.

Are you going to that lousy dinner dance tonight?

Probably. All right, we'll pick it up there.

See you there.

Hey, hey.

I stay to hear your balance. You going to stay to hear mine?

Oh, I have something to do.

Wish I did.

Oh, Lou.

About Jack Riley. Oh, no, no, no. Look, look, Jeff. I'm late right now for a

panel I'm supposed to chair.

Anyway, that may be unorthodox, but that's the

way I feel.

Now, I know why he didn't want to do this.

Bull in a china shop.

He offered four times to leave, and I never took him up on it. So, if no one

anything to add, uh...

Maybe we should open this up to questions from the floor.

I'd like to ask you a question, Mr.

Grant. The person who introduced you said that you turned the city desk at

Tribune around.

I wonder if you could elaborate. Tell us how you did that.

Well, it wasn't hard to make an impression, since anything I did would

looked good. Everything was in such a mess.

Chiefly, it was a problem of rebuilding morale, creating some semblance of...

Pride, incentive... That sort of thing.

Why do you ask? Personal curiosity.

I preceded you as city editor.

Oh.

Well.

Then you know what a mess your predecessor must have left for you.

Unless that's you, sir.

Why didn't you say something?

I did everything short of throwing my purse at you.

What's your hand?

What's up?

They don't want anybody to leave here tonight. They say they can't guarantee

security of anybody who isn't on the premises.

They still think there's going to be a kidnapping after all the attention

been focused on you? Well, they think that the SMM might just be crazy enough

try something in spite of the security to get attention.

Oh, nuts.

hello billy sonder i hear you want to talk to me it's mutual hop in

hi

well so i never got to ask you how'd you

do on the music final

Lou Grant will continue in a moment here on A &E.

A &E returns to Lou Grant.

Either of you guys seen Billy? No, I haven't. Should we have?

Not really.

It doesn't usually take this long a lunch.

So? Point is, she's supposed to be writing a story.

A deadline is now, and I don't want to release the Metro page without it.

Charlie, relax.

The sun's nice.

You're in a home stretch. Just relax and have a drink.

How can I relax?

Not only might there be a kidnapping tonight, but I've been able to line up a

speaker. I mean, what's everybody going to say when I get up here tonight and

say, sorry, ladies and gentlemen, we haven't got a closing speaker?

They'll probably give you a standing ovation.

Oh. Maybe even carry you out of the room on their shoulders.

I will have that drink.

Waiter. Wait.

Oh, hi, Lois.

Lois Craig, Fort Worth Sentinel.

Charlie Hill, my managing editor and your host. How do you do? I've been

him up there on that dais, and you've probably been saying to yourself, who is

that dashing devil?

I've really enjoyed the convention.

I've saved the best for last.

We're not going to have any speech tonight.

Well, I like your style.

You want to go for a swim, then?

Oh, uh, gee, I, uh... No, I have to wait here for a call, but thanks.

You still, uh, game for tonight?

I wouldn't miss it for the world.

Nice to meet you, Charlie.

Right.

Lucky dog!

Oh, no.

See you soon, isn't he? You lucky dog!

Why did you go for a swim with her? You're not expecting any phone call.

Well, frankly, I don't swim that well. Not what you'd call stylishly.

And I don't think I'd make a good impression on a girl who looks like she

belongs in an aquacade if I was dog paddling next to her.

Besides, I don't feel like swimming.

I'm dry, I'm comfortable, and I plan to stay that way.

Well, how about a drink then, waiter?

Now you're talking.

I'll go get it. You know you could die of thirst before you get away from

here.

You lucky dog.

Whatever you're getting, make it three.

Yeah, I will.

Bye. Mr. Grant, you've got to be kidding me.

Of course, what is it?

That man, Jeffrey Anson, is driving me out of my mind.

Well, he is good looking. Want me to fix you up with him? Oh, it's not funny,

Mr. Grant.

Since he's discovered I'm a widow, he has not given me a moment's peace.

How can I help?

Would you have dinner with me tonight?

I know it's an imposition, but if I don't protect myself, that man will be

side all evening long.

What about Charlie?

Well, first, Jeffrey knows he's married. And second, Charlie will be playing

host. Call it silly or crazy, but the man has gone out of control.

I must ask you as a friend.

I'd be happy to.

I'm very grateful.

Oh, Lord, here he is.

Tell Mr.

Hume to drink my drink. I'm going to make a run for it.

Oh, Lou, I'm glad I caught you. I want to talk about Jack Riley. Listen, I've

been dying to take a swim all afternoon.

And Dr. Weil.

Remember how he used to make us memorize all those composers' birth and death

dates? Weil.

No, I don't remember.

Oh, come on. A tall guy, little close -together eyes, wore the same tweed

all year, looked like he slept in it.

What a waste.

Four years of that, and I could have been doing something useful.

Like? Like what I'm doing now.

If we'd started then, just think where we could be by now.

I am thinking of that. What we have to do is enormous, Billy.

An SMM is small.

We've decided that we're most effective when we appear out of nowhere and pull

off something really flashy.

Like a kidnapping?

Every time we take an action against a public utility or a government building,

we're saying, look, everybody, the system is vulnerable.

It can be beaten.

This country is full of people who feel powerless. We're giving them hope.

I don't think people feel very hopeful when somebody blows up a bank or a power

station.

How do you get turned around like that?

I'm not the one who's turned around, Billy.

At least I'm still holding on to my principles.

And I'm not.

I'm doing something constructive. You expose some bureaucrat on the take,

a sob story about the barrio, catch a politician in a lie, and you give

the impression that the system works.

Well, sometimes it does.

Billy, people like you are more dangerous to this country than anyone

you're perpetuating a myth.

This system is rotten to the core.

It can't work.

It's not working. And you're just laying down a smoke screen so people can't see

that. That's why we have to do what we do.

say this to my city editor, but you're a terrific dancer.

I don't know if I'd be saying this to my publisher, but you're no slouch either.

Are you looking for someone in particular?

Oh,

no.

Well, if you're worried about Mr. Anson, don't be.

Together we can handle him.

I so appreciate your doing this.

That's okay. I'm having fun.

So am I.

Lou. Can I see you for a minute?

Jack.

Come on over here.

I'd like you to meet someone.

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Margaret Pinchot, this is Jack Riley.

Mr. Riley.

Jack's the guy who built us out of $5 ,000 last year in that Luther Cardell

swindle. Really?

Long time ago, you know.

Bygones.

I've wanted to meet you for a long, long time.

My pleasure.

Sorry I can't stay.

There's so many things I want to say to you, I just don't know where to begin.

Jack is the one who's been signing my name to all those bar checks, too.

Are you really, Mr.

Roddy? You fascinate me.

Margaret, I trust you won't refuse to have at least one dance with me?

Oh, no, I... don't see how I can refuse to do that.

Date on, Jeffrey.

You know something?

That woman has a... Great sense of humor?

I was going to say a grip like a vice.

Lou,

you've got to recommend me to Anson.

Look, Jack, I... You'll never have a better chance.

When he brings her back to the table, your word can really sew up the job for

me. Jack, given all the things I know about you, up to and including your

here under false pretenses, why should I give you a recommendation?

Because I need a job.

I don't have that many good years in me.

And... People aren't exactly swarming over me with office.

This could be my last chance.

Yeah, well... This is the only favor I'll ask from you, but it's a beaut.

I need the job, Lou.

But I... And I saved your life once.

What was that?

Okay, so maybe I didn't. But I would have. That's the point.

You see, I'm the kind of guy who would have saved your life if I could have.

And I'm counting on you to do the same.

Jack.

It's now or never.

My life is in your hands.

Jack!

Charlie, you know that woman we met at the pool?

You lucky dog.

I've been looking for her tonight. Have you seen her?

I thought she was with you.

No.

Oh, I...

Jeez, what happened?

That's a little difficult to explain.

You let me work on it.

Oh, no, oh, no. Don't do that, Charlie. Thank you, Margaret.

That was over much too quickly. Thank you, Jeffrey. You're very sweet.

Well, you both have done a pretty good job of avoiding me today, haven't you?

Who, us?

Don't play dumb, Lou.

It's about Riley, isn't it?

Jack Riley?

I know what's going on.

Do you, Jack? Sure.

They're trying to land him for the trip.

Well, two can play at that game, you know. And when Riley hears my offer, you

two may just find out you've been wasting your time.

I want to sweat. Oh, my.

Well,

it was nice seeing you again.

Was it?

Yes, it was, Thunder.

Even if you didn't answer the really big question.

About the kidnapping, you mean?

Uh -huh.

I'll tell you the truth.

For a little while, I thought maybe I was it.

Since I'm not, I don't suppose there's a chance you'd tell me who it is. Sure.

Nobody.

Nobody. That's right.

But the plans the police found.

Planted. We don't need to kidnap anybody at the moment.

We got everything we wanted, everything we could have dreamed of, without ever

firing a shot or running any risks.

Publicity, news coverage. Right.

The best.

By threatening to kidnap a publisher, we made every paper in the western United

States. The governor canceled his speech.

Our organization, our goal, our household words tonight.

We used you, Billy.

Face it.

You've been had.

Have we?

Maybe the plans weren't planted. Maybe your plot didn't work and you're just

improvising now.

Well, would it make any difference?

We got what we wanted.

Their drinks would be flawed. I wish I had thought of that idea.

Take off the badge, Lou.

You mean I don't have to wear it on my pajamas?

No. I just talked to Billy. She had an interview with one of the SMM people.

Turns out the whole thing was just a scheme to get publicity.

Nothing was going to happen.

What a relief.

Well, it's all over.

My convention's over.

And nobody was killed.

The hallmark of a perfect convention.

I think I deserve a drink.

Yeah, I'll be right down.

Thank you.

I'm long overdue for that.

It's really been fun.

Don't sound so surprised.

I'm not a bad date.

You sure aren't.

Good night, Lou.

Good night, Lou.

Louie! Hey, listen, I'd like to explain to you about tonight.

Explain what?

Nothing.

Hey, Lou.

Hey, Lou.

Lou, buy a nightcap, huh?

I, uh, I think I owe you.

Jack. I'll pay in cash, honest. Come on, let's go.

I want to talk to you about a few things anyway.

I mean, now that I've got this, uh...

This new position, thanks to you. I don't want you to think I'm not

There are a couple of writers I need. You've got a lot of contacts. You've got

taste.

New pimp keep their

prostitutes under their control.

We'll go undercover for the raid of a brothel run by the mob on investigative

reports tonight.

Now. Two cops on their way to Palm Springs are asked to pursue a major drug

dealer. Duty Calls on Police Story, next on A &A.