Original subtitles

This is where people say the magic happens.

But, unfortunately for me, it doesn't.

[Rhasha] Previously, on Virgins...

[Alex] I think I'm still a virgin

because I haven't had much luck in the past

approaching women to try and talk to them.

What brings you guys here tonight?

-Hanging out. -[woman] Yeah.

[Alex] I overthink a lot, and I go, "What do I say? What do I do?"

[Alex speaking]

I've got to get out of my head,

or I'm never gonna get laid.

-Finding you a man. -[anxiously] Aah!

The reason why I have no sexual experience

is because I have this idea

of a Prince Charming from, like, Hallmark movies.

But that's not realistic.

-How y'all doing? -Hi!

I'm extremely picky, but I want sex in my life.

He's just not my type, he's not for me.

I don't know if I want to get married, because I was before,

and that was a debacle.

-No sexual relationship in the marriage? -No.

I am a divorced virgin.

Very unbelievable,

but that marriage was not ever consummated, ever.

I'm still a virgin.

I actually fall in love with just one kiss.

Check, please.

This is where every date ultimately leads.

But it doesn't even matter, because I'm not sure I can even have sex.

So take a deep breath in.

[groans in pain]

Uh, so first of all, how are you feeling after that?

I'm okay. I'm anxious to hear what you have to advise, um... [chuckles nervously]

From the physical exam,

what we found, it's called vaginismus.

Um, the sort of markers of that is pain,

with inserting, like, a tampon.

There's anxiety around any genital contact,

because your muscles are protecting

against the pain that might happen.

But in protecting against the pain that might happen,

it's making it tighter.

-[exhales anxiously] -So it's almost like

a self-fulfilling prophecy of the pain.

[Sonali] I have never heard of vaginismus before,

but it sounds like my vaginal walls

and muscles tighten up when something is attempted to be inserted.

So, basically, I can't have sex, even if I wanted to.

[Dr. Jeffcoat] The first thing we want to do is is get

the pelvic floor muscles to soften and relax.

-Can I show you what medical dilator is? -[anxiously] Oh, boy.

[Dr. Jeffcoat] And this is the smallest one in this kit.

And then they get gradually larger.

Is it scary to look at?

[Sonali laughs] I think I'm gonna have a heart attack.

I know the dilators are supposed to stretch out my pelvic floor muscles,

but to think that I would have to do that... [inhales nervously]

It's a bit nerve racking.

Look, and you did this,

-just so you know. -You did that. [laughs]

[Dr. Jeffcoat] We did it together.

I do find that when patients start to progress

through a dilator kit,

that it really helps calm the fear, the anxiety.

[Sonali] I am definitely intimidated by the dilators.

This will absolutely be the first time

I'll be sticking something up my vagina.

How do I know where to insert it?

[Dr. Jeffcoat] That is a great question.

So let me just orient you.

This is the pelvis, from front to back.

Here we have the urethra.

The vagina is the hole.

And we have the anus.

The dilator goes in the middle hole, which is the vagina.

[exhales anxiously]

This whole dilation process, program...

How long would I need to do it before I can fully make love?

[Dr. Jeffcoat] Yeah, so it's a fair question.

The range is usually anywhere between four to eight months.

This is a lot.

Eight months?

It's going to take me eight months

to get used to these dilators and to have sex?

That seems like eternity.

What if this doesn't work?

I don't want to live the rest of my life as a virgin.

Your muscles, I think, are waiting for the right guidance.

I've never had that sexual relationship with someone.

But I want sex in my life.

So like, I want to find someone that I want to have sex with.

Dating apps don't work.

Nothing's really been working for me,

so I've just been trying to find something different.

So I'm meeting with a professional matchmaker today,

because I just can't seem to find someone myself.

[both] Hi!

-How are you? -Good. How are you?

-Good. -I'm here to see Tammi.

Okay, perfect. I'll let her know.

[Deanne] Great. Thank you.

I'm so sick of everybody being like "What about that guy?

"What about that guy? What about that guy?"

I want to be beyond this point, because this is the worst.

-Hi, Deanne. -Hi!

-[Tammi] I'm Tammi. -Hi, Deanne!

[Tammi] So nice to meet you! [Deanne] Nice to meet you!

[Deanne] How are you?

[Tammi] Good, yeah, good. How are you? [Deanne] Good.

[Tammi] Come on in.

My name is Tammi Pickle.

I'm a matchmaker,

and I own Elite Connections International.

In my business, I have a large database of clients,

and I interview each and every person.

And then I kind of make the best matches

based on what they're looking for,

what's important to them.

And I help them throughout the whole dating process.

So, yeah, tell me a little bit about yourself,

and your dating history.

What's been going on?

[Deanne] So I have no dating history.

I have never had a boyfriend.

I've never really had sex.

Okay.

Deanne's lack of sexual experience is tricky.

It will be something that most men are not used to hearing.

Most people have had many boyfriends

and many sexual experiences, and she really hasn't.

So it does make it tricky, but not impossible.

Can you tell me more about that person

that you would be into?

-[Deanne] It's usually about, like, the pretty face for me. -Okay.

[Deanne] Like, I want someone like Liam Hemsworth.

I feel like I look at him and I feel like he is

that full package we're looking for, like,

like he is that beautiful model-looking guy.

And I know that's so extremely hard to find,

but like, I feel like he fits the epitome of that.

You know?

I hate to ask about celebrity crushes, whatnot,

because this is unattainable.

You know, we are just normal.

[Deanne] Everybody's saying, "You know, your standards are too high."

Like, I think I'm very much, like

I can have that fairy tale.

And as much as people tell me, like,

"You can't find someone who's perfect,"

I've always just been the type of person that,

just like, you can do anything you set your mind to.

I just am really looking for that diamond in the rough,

where it's the best of both worlds.

-[Tammi] I hear you, I hear you. -[laughing]

I appreciate you being honest.

I just I want you to be open

to maybe somebody that, like,

isn't normally like,

the model dude.

Maybe more average, a little bit in between?

Let's not use the word average. [laughs]

I'm trying to help, here!

I think Deanne is a little hung up

on the way somebody looks.

That is gonna be maybe detrimental to her.

I don't think the pretty boys are gonna take her lack

of sexual experience very well.

I think it's the nice guys that are gonna appreciate that,

and not make her feel weird about it.

I think you are very into attraction,

and what he looks like,

and that maybe, is taking precedence.

-I think... -Being into someone,

-you have to have... -The physical attraction, yes.

-[Deanne] Okay, I... -Which seems very shallow, I know, when I say that.

Yeah. Um...

I have somebody in mind for you,

that I'm excited for you to meet.

He's tall, he's handsome.

I would love you to give him a chance.

The good guy is gonna be great for you.

No, I get it. We're on the same page, when it comes to that.

[Tammi] Yeah, good, good, good, good.

-We don't need a celebrity. [laughs] -Oh, good, good, good.

We just need a celebrity lookalike.

I understand what Tammi is saying.

I shouldn't be looking for that celebrity-type guy.

But, I'm not ready to give up looking for someone

who I feel that head-over-heels spark, passionate feeling for.

I just need that sexual attraction.

I just need that lust to want to have sex with him.

-[Tammi] See you soon. -[Deanne laughs] Have a good day.

-[Tammi] Bye. -[Deanne] Bye.

[Deanne] I've waited so long,

I'm not ready to give up on that yet.

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Say hello to you and get some time ♪

After failing at the bar the other night,

my sister Courtney thinks I should try something new,

just to get out of my head.

So we're going on a speed dating event in Philly.

I have never done speed dating before, which is making me nervous.

But, she also said that there's a twist to it,

and that's making me even more nervous.

What's up?

You're looking good, looking good.

But ultimately my goal is to lose my virginity,

and I'm gonna try and take some risks.

Alex, your eyebrows though, buddy.

You gotta work on those. They feel like you're gonna fly away...

[laughs] Because they're sticking straight out, buddy.

-[sighs] I know. -Okay.

The last time that I was on a date was

maybe 10 years ago.

Your nerves are getting to you.

Getting a little shaky.

Yeah.

We're both stepping out of our comfort zones.

I'm single too.

And this is gonna be a really fun way to do this with you.

It's just a lot of emotions.

Like, I'm excited and nervous and happy.

Those are all normal feelings.

I don't want to be a virgin anymore.

Especially a 40-year-old virgin, because I want to find

that intimacy, that connection,

and the act of sex I want to have,

because I heard it feels amazing.

[Courtney] You ready? [Alex] I don't know. [laughs nervously]

[Courtney] About to do the thing.

I do hope the speed dating leads to a relationship

to where I can maybe have sex.

Here we go. What do you think?

What? It looks weird.

[Courtney] I know. Come on! [Alex] Where did you set me up?

[Courtney] Be open. Let's go.

[Courtney] Take your shoes off.

[Alex] Hold on! [Courtney] Just follow me, all right?

-[Alex] Wait for me! -Hi! I'm Courtney.

-Welcome! What's your name? -Courtney.

-Courtney. -[Alex] Hold on. [exhales]

-Yes. -[Guy] Welcome, welcome, Courtney.

Have you done this before?

[Courtney] I have not. This is all new for me.

[Guy] Okay, I'm gonna explain to you how this works. [Courtney] Okay.

First, I'm gonna give you this pouch

-with your magical beads. -[Courtney] Okay.

[Guy] And I'm gonna invite you to wear this around your neck.

[surprised] Okay.

[Guy] Okay, just like I'm wearing mine.

[Maya] What's your name? [Alex] Alex.

-[Maya] Welcome! You are lucky number 10. -[laughs]

-Please wear this as a necklace. -[Alex] Okay.

I'm gonna explain later how all this process works.

[Alex] Okay. [Maya] Yeah, and have fun.

[Alex] All right, let's do this.

-So, what do you think? -[Alex] What is this?

-[Courtney] Alex, okay... -[agitatedly] What are we doing?

Okay, listen, okay? It's Tantra Speed Dating.

I saw an ad as I was scrolling online on Tantra Speed Dating.

I picked this event for Alex

because it really is out of his comfort zone.

[laughs] What does that even mean?

Yeah, it's not your typical speed dating.

-Okay? -Uh, Jesus.

[Courtney] Alex struggles so much with talking to girls.

He's such an overthinker

that he'll get way in his head.

I just want to give him a little loving shove

to get himself out there,

and just really take in the moment,

and trust the process.

So it's a lot of like mindfulness, connection.

Tantra Speed Dating is more interactive,

where they may be doing a lot of touching

or moving around.

There's less talking. It's more physical,

to see if you have a connection with someone.

-Look how zen and calm it looks. -Yeah, I know, I know.

-Let's go. -Oh, all right.

[indistinct conversation]

[Alex] What the... [laughs]

What, uh... What is this?

[Courtney] There's going to be a lot of physical touch.

What?

[laughing]

[laughs] Surprise!

It's all about connecting...

...on a spiritual way.

I... [mumbles]

This speed dating is all about touching,

and because I am a virgin,

certain physical touch makes me uncomfortable.

My mind's going a mile a minute.

[Maya] We are inviting you to embrace.

I'm not happy right now.

[Deanne] It's just, like, a blind date.

And that's the most terrifying thing in the world to me.

I feel like my mind is gonna go blank,

and not know what to say.

Do you want to share it?

[Deanne] Share what?

Like we order different things.

[Deanne] Is it too much to ask for to find a hot guy?

Where is he?

-How are we doing over here? -[Deanne] Hi, good, how are you?

Doing wonderful, thank you.

[Deanne] And then a waiter comes over,

and he's very attractive.

I'm a little scared, um...

The purpose of dilators is

to stretch out my pelvic floor muscles.

[exhales]

I cannot believe I am doing this.

-[clanks against bed] -[laughs]

[Alex speaking]

-[cymbals chiming] -[Maya] Okay!

We are ready.

[Guy] So I want to invite you to please be seated

and make yourselves comfortable.

[Maya] Let's talk about these interesting things that we're all wearing.

Men, you have an empty pouches.

Women, you have pouches filled with beads.

If you feel a connection,

you will take a bead and put into his pouch.

[Guy] You don't want him to know

if he's getting a real bead or an imaginary bead.

Any man that you give a bead to, after the event,

we'll put you both in touch with each other,

and either one of you can take the next step.

[Alex] My anxiety is going through the roof.

[Guy] I'm gonna invite you all to come and stand.

It's making me like...

...crap my pants,

because if I don't get any beads,

my self-confidence is gonna go lower than it is right now.

-[Alex] Hello. -Hello.

-[Maya] Okay. -How's it going?

-[woman speaking] -[Alex laughing]

[Maya] This is a very special station.

We are inviting you to embrace.

-[Guy] And simply open your arms. -[Alex laughs] Okay.

[Guy] And if they also open their arms, congratulations!

You've won an embrace.

Please, just be present with each other.

[Maya] You can take as much as you want

without giving anything back in return.

[Alex speaking]

especially when we, like, didn't even say anything to each other.

And I'm sweating so bad right now.

It's making the hug even more uncomfortable.

This is weird for me.

[Guy] Men, close your eyes.

Women touch his heart.

Drop in a bead,

real or imagined

[Maya] Ladies receive a massage.

-[Alex laughs nervously] -[woman laughs]

I seriously can't believe I'm doing this.

-Is it good? -[woman speaking] No, it's good.

All right.

To just start touching random women right away,

it's just awkward for me.

Plus massaging, I feel like is more of a sexual act.

What if I get aroused?

[Guy] Feel how much power you have to heal.

I am freaking out.

Oh, all right.

-[Guy] Women are moving. Men are mirroring. -[woman laughs]

Uh-oh.

[Courtney] Alex is...

While he's a very social person,

he can be a little awkward.

Doing this event tonight is really gonna show him

that he is capable of doing more

and that he can make connections with people,

if he allows himself to do that, and open up.

He's worthy of it, and he is capable.

-[Andrea] Hi! -[Alex whispering] Hi!

-[Andrea speaking] -[Alex] You too.

Are you enjoying, so far?

[Alex speaking]

-It's hot! I mean... It's like... -Other...

Can I unbutton you a little?

-Can I like, get you a little cooler? -[Alex] Go ahead.

-[Andrea] Not in any... Any... -[Alex] Go ahead, go ahead.

[Alex] We're starting already. Let's do this.

-[Andrea laughing] -[Alex] Let's do this.

We're talking and she starts unbuttoning my shirt.

It feels really weird because I am a virgin,

and I've never done this type of thing before.

-Your name? -Alex.

-Alex. -Yes.

-[Andrea speaking] -Andrea? Nice to meet you, too.

[Alex] She has a great smile.

She has really pretty eyes.

My heart's beating fast.

I'm gonna invite you all to sit and hold hands. Please be seated.

-[Andrea] Okay... -[Alex grunts]

[Guy] Lean back, pulling your partner forward.

-Oh, okay. -[Alex speaking]

[Andrea speaking]

[Guy] And now, if you remember what it was like

-to be a kid on a seesaw... -[Andrea] Okay, let's try...

-[Andrea speaking] -I can't! I can't!

[Andrea speaking]

[Andrea] Here you go. Okay, now my turn.

[Andrea and Alex laughing]

[Andrea speaking]

[Andrea laughing]

Alex is somebody who I can tell is desiring to do more connecting.

And I'm feeling that in this specific exercise,

it's like I can really trust and lean into him.

[Andrea] Whoo!

[Alex] We're talking. We're laughing, you know?

I'm looking in her eyes.

I'm feeling such a connection.

Not just physical, but emotional.

[Andrea] Whoo!

[Andrea speaking]

I know, but I didn't let you touch, though.

[Andrea speaking]

-I didn't let you touch. I got it. -[Andrea speaking]

-I got you. I got you. I got you! -[Andrea speaking]

Her personality is just the kind of personality I'm looking for.

[Guy] One, men, close your eyes, women reach for beads.

Two, women, touch his heart, dropping in a bead, real or imagined.

-[Andrea speaking] -[Alex] See ya!

I'm really, really hoping that she gave me a bead.

♪ Feisty, feisty, yeah, we feisty ♪

♪ Feisty, feisty, yeah, we feisty ♪

♪ Spicy, spicy, yeah, we spicy ♪

[Rhasha] It is very wild and crazy

that I am a divorced virgin. [chuckles]

My divorce was five years ago, and at that point,

I was definitely in a negative headspace.

Um, it ruined my confidence.

I gained so much weight and I already was a big girl.

And I was just at the lowest point ever.

Like, it was not good.

I moved back in with my parents.

Aside from needing help,

also to heal and to be around family.

-[Rhasha] Mom. -[Iris] Yeah?

[both] Hey. [Rhasha] I want you to start...

[Iris] Why did you take so long?

I went to the store to get some healthy things.

Oh, I'm so hungry. What you got?

-Um, just got some things to make tacos. -Oh, okay.

I wanted a new lease on life,

and I wanted to get my health back.

So I had weight loss surgery back in March 2024.

And I lost about 81 pounds from my highest weight.

I know I still have a long way to go,

but I feel like I'm ready to get out there.

Where's Jessie?

[Iris] She'll be in.

I wanted to talk to you guys about, um...

I'm on a dating app again.

-Not again, Rhasha. -[Rhasha] I...

I need to put myself out there.

[Iris speaking]

-I'm not. -Rhasha...

I'm not, I'm not.

It's going to be a very good process.

Don't worry about it. It's gonna be great.

I've been talking to a few guys online,

and it's been going pretty well,

and I'm thinking about maybe asking someone

to go on a date with me in person and in real life.

[producer speaking]

I have not been on a date before.

[producer speaking]

Ever.

[Rhasha] I want to get you guys', um,

constructive criticism on some of the guys that matched with me.

[Jessica] This's gonna be some catfish BS, isn't it?

There's not gonna be no catfish, Jessica, stop.

-Okay. -Come sit down.

I'm protective of Rhasha, and I don't know how I feel

about her going back into online dating.

Her first experience ended in marriage,

and I still... I still don't know how that happened.

That relationship actually broke her self-esteem.

So I'm just hoping that this time around

she'll make the right decisions and-- How to date.

We're going to look at the guys who I'm matched with.

Okay.

-All right. And be honest. -Okay.

The therapist said to be transparent up front.

But I haven't told 'em that I'm a virgin yet.

Why Rhasha?

-Because-- -What you mean, "Why?"

Does you wanna start off a conversation like that?

[laughs]

[Iris] I am so proud of Rhasha.

It's okay that she's still a virgin.

Because you don't see that many out there.

I think Rhasha should tell people that she's a virgin.

I really do.

The right man would be very proud of Rhasha.

-I want them to get to know me for me first. -Right.

But I need you to not flip the script when the [bleep] smile at you.

[laughs]

Okay?

Give it a day or two.

Give it-- Talk for a minute.

Okay, it's not gonna be like the last time. I learned from my ex.

And I think I'm a little bit more confident now to meet people.

Before I wasn't so confident because of my weight.

Yeah.

I want to try to get out of my comfort zone and to find my person

and to be intimate with my person.

I'm trying to have nasty sex.

Sorry, Mom.

-So this is one of the guys I've matched with. -Cute.

All right.

Okay, but listen. Look at the conversation.

The conversation ain't doing what it's supposed to do.

You know what I'm saying? It says, "Damn girl."

You don't say no, "Damn girl."

At least just said hello or something.

All right, so here we have another guy on here, he is six foot.

Right?

-No, we don't. -Uh-uh. Not happening.

Well, y'all know what I'm talking about.

No, I don't.

Well, let's see who another one...

Yeah, another one.

-This person... -Oh, he look nice.

...is my favorite so far.

-You know I like beards, right? -Yeah.

[Rhasha] Let's read his profile here.

"Looking for something serious. So don't waste my time.

I have my own place.

My own car and a job.

So if we match, we can go out and hit the beach

or a park. Rolling solo is getting old.

Like me. LOL."

[Jessica] Wow.

And look, you know, he's like-- Looks like he's fun.

[Iris] Y'all look like a good match.

-[Rhasha] I like him, too. -[Iris] I know you do.

You better not bring no man up in here.

He's not coming in.

Nobody's coming into my house and you're doing none of that.

Don't nobody do that here anyway, Rhasha, and you know that.

Nobody.

I mean, I wouldn't. I'm just playing.

I won't feel comfortable.

-What? -You stupid.

Rhasha, no.

[all laughing]

I am going to try to use the dilators

that the pelvic floor therapist gave to me.

"Insert into your vaginal opening."

Oh, boy. It's really scary because I've never stuck anything up there.

Earlier today, I had a meeting on the computer video chat

with the hosts of the speed dating event I went on.

I surprisingly got five matches out of 12 girls.

So your first match was with Andrea.

Yes!

[both laughing]

-[male host] So what do you think of Andrea? -[Alex] She was very cute.

Um, bubbly.

Her personality was like kind of matching mine.

I loved her laugh, her smile just kind of, overall everything.

Yeah. [laughs]

I've been texting Andrea for the past couple of days,

and I asked her on a date and she said, "Yes."

I'm just feeling really excited and nervous because it's been...

...10 plus years.

I just don't want to, you know, say the wrong thing.

I don't-- I want to make her feel comfortable,

but I also don't want to make myself...

...look kind of stupid, but all these things can happen.

Um.

So we'll just-- We'll see how it goes.

Because who knows?

[Mercedes] So how you feeling?

-[Deanne] Terrified. -Honey.

Any excitement?

It's hard for me to get excited because I...

haven't seen him.

I don't really know anything.

It's just like a blind date.

I mean, I'm still anxious.

I recently met with a matchmaker,

and tonight is my first real date.

I'm 35 years old and I've never had a relationship.

I've never had a sex life.

I don't know what I'm doing.

And that always gives me a little bit of nerves

because I'm like, "Are they not going to like me?"

Or, "Are they going to know somehow that I have no sexual experience whatsoever?"

I'll jump out of a plane, I'll move to California by myself.

You tell me to go on a date, and that's the most terrifying thing in the world to me.

Going into something, not knowing if I have any chemistry

with this guy at all, I feel like my mind is going to go blank.

I feel like I'm just gonna go quiet and not know what to say.

It's like the nightmare when you're thinking about being naked in school.

-You're just preparing for the worst. -Yes.

-Which you always do. -Yes.

You have to just think it's going to be the best.

But what if it is the worst?

-What if it's the best? -But what if it's the worst?

But it could be the best.

-It could be the worst. -Or the best.

[Mercedes] It'll be good practice.

You need to get out there somehow.

I mean, you're just... You're just going right in.

-What if I to turn into like, a ho and just start... -[laughs]

I think when Deanne loosens up a little bit,

she will enjoy having a sex life.

She just needs to get over this hurdle of finding the right guy,

and then she'll be off to the races.

What if I just start going on like 80 dates--

Well, you'll have a lot of good stories.

What if it turns into that?

I mean, I doubt it. But maybe you never know.

Maybe I'll just like, love dating so much

that I'll just like...

You'll be coming home with nicknames

because I won't be able to tell them apart.

[laughs]

I know that it's crazy, but I've seriously never been on a real date.

I get so self-conscious about like,

"You are 35 years old and you have no idea

what the [bleep] you're doing."

I've really been waiting my whole life to find my Mr. Right.

To find my perfect person and start having a sex life.

But it all starts with a first date.

So maybe that day is today.

-Hello. -Hi.

Hi!

Deanne.

Nice to meet you.

Thank you.

When I see Ricardo for the first time, I'm thinking,

he's very fit.

He seems nice. He's cute.

Have you been here before?

-No, have you? -No, first time.

-What kind of food is it? Sushi, obviously. -Sushi, yeah.

Sounds nice.

But I knew from the second I sat down,

that this was not my man.

There was no spark. There was no chemistry.

And I'm just the type of person who just knows instantly.

You want to share it?

[Deanne] Share what?

Like, we order different things.

Potentially, because I don't know what's...

I'm gonna like on this? [laughs]

[Ricardo] I think Deanne is beautiful.

It's hard to judge one interaction, but so far

I feel good about her.

And I'd like to get to know her more.

Do you have animals?

-Hmm? -Do you have pets?

-No. Do you? -I do have a dog.

[Deanne] How am I supposed to keep up this full two-hour conversation?

There's millions of guys in the city,

is it too much to ask for to find a hot guy?

Where is he?

I'm on a date with Ricardo, who I met through my matchmaker,

and I can already tell that

it's not going anywhere.

There's no chemistry.

I really need to feel that instant spark and attraction

and just some sort of chemistry.

And I'm not feeling that.

-How are we doing over here? -[Deanne] Hi, good, how are you?

Wonderful. Thank you.

-[waiter] First time here? -It is.

[waiter] Awesome.

And then a waiter comes over and he's very attractive.

We're just a Japanese tapas style restaurant.

Everything's like small bites, small plates.

Sushi rolls. I can make any kind of sushi roll.

He starts talking about everything that's on the menu, and I can't even

concentrate on what he's saying because he's very attractive.

What was the peppers that you mentioned?

-[waiter] Shishito peppers -We can try those. You like peppers or no?

Uh, not huge on peppers.

But you get that.

I am gonna do the sweet and spicy crab roll.

-Okay. Thank you. -[Ricardo] Thank you.

That was overwhelming.

Guys that I like are so few and far between...

I need to go to the restroom.

-So I'll be right back. -Okay.

...that when I find one

that I'm attracted to, it's hard for me to fake it

with somebody else that I'm not attracted to.

Mercedes and Jamie are texting me along the way

and then I was like, "Well, there's a really hot waiter

who came over to us and I think I'm more attracted to him."

So they are like, "Make sure you're getting his Instagram,

make sure you're getting his info.

Did you get his number? Did you get anything?"

Yeah, she's definitely attractive.

She seems sweet and seems really nice.

But, yeah.

How are you guys feeling over here?

-Good. -[waiter] Good?

We're good to go.

I'm not on the market right now.

Unfortunately, I'm not single, so it's not an option.

-Thank you. -Very sweet. Thank you.

[Deanne] In this moment, I'm-- It's clicking in my head

that I need to be super attracted to the guy

to even want to have sex with him, because I want that excitement

like I want that spark.

I want that chemistry.

I want to want to be there.

Thank you, have a good night.

I'm realizing that dating is not that scary.

I think what's becoming scarier to me is that

I'm not going to find the person

that I want to hook up and have sex with you.

Nice meeting you.

You as well.

-Have a good night. -Night.

[Sonali] It's really scary to even think about sex

because I am absolutely very worried about how painful it will be.

I've never stuck anything up there.

But what scares me even more is the possibility

of never being able to experience the full lovemaking state of being.

I just don't want to be alone.

I crave companionship and love.

Actually needed coconut oil.

Oh, boy, I use coconut oil in my hair here.

So today I am going to try to use the dilators

that the pelvic floor therapist gave to me.

The purpose of the dilators is to stretch out my pelvic floor muscles.

[sighs]

Uh, this is size L.

I'm a little scared. Um...

Anxiety is an understatement.

Even extra small is pretty long and big.

I will do my best.

I will try this, but it's frustrating and aggravating

because it's not just an emotional hurdle that I have.

I have a physical hurdle and also a cultural hurdle.

My Indian conservative side finds this very shocking. I...

My mother never taught me anything like this.

This is new territory.

I cannot believe I am doing this on camera.

[breathes heavily]

Oh, oh. Gosh.

[exhales]

Weird.

It's like a piercing sensation.

I... Oh...

It hurts. It's like-- I don't even know what I'm doing.

It's just...

It's not comfortable.

It's not-- It's not paradise.

I feel like my vaginal walls are being torn open.

The pain level is like a seven.

If this is so painful, then I can't imagine

how painful sexual intercourse would be.

At this point, I do believe that sexual intercourse

might be out of reach for me.

I am driving to meet Mr. Zach.

My nerves, they're getting really bad.

Is he, like the one that I'm gonna like, be intimate and have sex with?

What if he walks in and he sees me

and he turns around and walks away?

♪ We don't need no sleep 'cause the party don't stop ♪

♪ So put your hands on me ♪

♪ Put your hands on me and turn me on, on, on ♪

I am driving to meet Mr. Zach.

We matched on the dating app.

He is the one that my mom and my sister both voted on.

And I asked him if he was okay

with meeting up and going out, and he said, yes.

He was interested.

I have been thinking about him a lot, um...

sexually.

In my mind, Zach is putting me in handcuffs.

And, like, I don't know, like, tickling my toes.

[laughs]

Like he's definitely tied me up.

And he's just like, spanking me.

All of this is new to me.

So the fact that I'm going on like my very first date is very exciting.

You know, meeting the right person does open me up

to have a sexual encounter.

I think I need to start a drink before he comes.

As I wait for him to come in...

My nerves is-- They're getting really bad.

I do go down the rabbit hole.

I don't feel like I'm attractive to men.

I don't feel like I'm at my goal weight yet.

So I'm still, like, on the bigger side.

What if he walks in and he sees me and he turns around and walks away?

I hope I don't get gassy.

I'm... I'm...

Because when I get nervous, you know.

Hello. [laughs]

You must be Rhasha.

-Yes. -Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Oh, the chair doesn't matter.

-Hello. -How are you doing?

I'm nervous. How are you?

Less nervous as I was before. So, I think we're doing all right.

Yeah. [laughs]

I think Rhasha is more than pretty.

I think she's beautiful.

I guess we look around.

Let's go pour some candles now.

Yes.

[Zach] I just like her style.

And I'm definitely letting her know that I'm into her.

[Zach] I didn't catfish you, did I?

-No. [laughs] -[Zach] No. Catfishing?

-No, catfishing. -All right, good.

I was just making sure.

Oh, my goodness.

-And you are not a catfish either, so. -Aw, thank you.

-Yes. -I was nervous. I was like...

I am thinking that...

he's lying.

Because I'm not I'm used to getting that type of compliment.

-I'm not gonna lie, colors. I like the colors. It's nice. -You like the colors?

-Oh, yeah. -You like it?

I've been likin' that, girl.

[laughs]

But I'm getting good energy from Zach.

Really good energy.

[Zach] Well, I do have a question for you.

How many...

people have you matched with?

Um, actually, I matched with a lot of guys,

but they, um...

they ended the chat because of some things I may have said,

and that's totally fine.

Did you say some off the wall stuff,

or was it just like, really direct and they didn't like it?

-Um... -Some guys don't like direct.

Well, it's not so much as direct.

It's like, um...

Well, my situation is, um...

I am still a virgin.

Told you I had a situation.

Are you okay with that?

Um, I don't know.

Ah! Oh, okay.

I feel like I have to change something.

[yells and laughs]

Because this is the first date I've been on in so long

that I don't just want it to go well.

I need it to go well.

Well, hello there.

-So this is the clitoris here. -Okay.

I feel like I'm back in high school biology class,

learning about the human anatomy.

And I think the first thing you need to do is make friends with your own vagina.

[man] Hello, welcome.

-Come on right in here. -[Rhasha] Hi.

If I'm ever gonna lose my virginity,

I have to keep on putting myself out there and exploring my sexuality.

[high-pitched] Oh! Oh!

I definitely want to get suspended, but I don't want to die.

Not a virgin.

Wow!

Everyone's just like, "Give him a chance."

But if I'm not physically attracted to that.

I'm tired of not having a sex life,

but I get frustrated when people push me

to do things I don't want to do.

Go ahead. Go have that conversation by yourself.

I am done with this [bleep] conversation.

[Producer] Come on, guys.

[Deanne] Ugh. Just leave me the [bleep] alone people

because it's just like, it's never gonna work.