Original subtitles

Honey, you've got a nerve. - I'm thrilled with it.

Fine, if it keeps you busy. - They're war rations.

Get a whiff of this.

This is what we ate in the war. - Well, we ate the best meat.

Honey, I need something to do. - But smelly bankruptcy goods, Ko.

At least, we'll always have a ready meal.

Oh yes...

Yes... great.

What are you doing this weekend? - Getting married.

To the lovely Betty opposite. - No, she's going to be my friend.

Find another dream girl. I'm going to marry Betty.

What would she want with you, Suzy?

Is Joris hungry? Have a bite.

Have a bite, it's tasty.

Haven't you nailed up that flap yet? - No, it has to stay open for Victor.

Who's Victor? - A rat.

The new head of the Ten Cate family.

Why don't you kill it? - Why should I?

I've grown fond of it. Rats are great characters.

Palmer, don't forget to congratulate your dad on his new business.

My plectrum.

Hi, Zwier. Hi, Zwier's sister. I heard everything. Give it back.

Come and get it. - Give it back. Don't be a pain.

Give it here.

Kids, your dad's started a grocer's shop from home. Great, isn't it?

You can go and shop there.

Hello, grocer man. - Hello, Miss.

How much is a bar of soap? - Ninety cents a bar.

That's dear. May I smell it?

Course. Just a moment, please.

The very best quality, Miss. - It stinks.

Miss, it's a good, old-fashioned fragrance.

Today's soaps are bad for the nervous system.

Well, I'm not made of money, so I'll give you 50 cents for it.

If you want a warm meal, it will cost you. Your dad has to earn a crust too.

I'm glad your dad's busy again. I'm so pleased for him.

Ignore her. She doesn't understand.

What's wrong now?

I can't do a thing right.

Can't I sing this evening? - No.

I mean, I'll sing, while you play. - No.

Can I hold the guitar? - No.

You'll never be like him. - What's that?

Mick's got it, and you haven't.

Who says I want to be like Mick Jagger?

Where's tonight's gig: the SOS or Oasis?

Oasis, of course. - I can't wait.

Bloody hell, what a smell.

Hey, what are you doing?

Your nose is dead. I am saving this home.

Everything I do goes wrong. It drives me to despair.

Another lot wasted.

Stay with your dear old mum, just for a while.

Let me sniff your neck.

Children neck's smell so wonderful.

In a few years' time you'll smell like an old man.

I feel like a dried-up foetus.

Don't be so gloomy. You sound like me.

You're far too young to be gloomy.

I just read that life has a meaning, and there's a reason for everything.

Didn't you know?

We have to keep coming back to finish what we started.

Until we're perfect. The very thought exhausts me.

To come back as an accident. - Accident?

Your dad and I were so much in love. - Mum, spare me the details.

The first child is always difficult. But you'll always be my sweetie-pie.

Can I go?

Going out? - With you.

Who says?

I wouldn't be seen dead with you.

Hey Zwier, want to hear my new Cliff?

No way. You're too young.

I'm cleaning up the neighborhood.

If I had an air gun, those pigeons would have been dead ages ago.

I can shoot anything I like.

It's just a matter of aiming, pulling the trigger and...

Crazy Zwier. Everyone can see us.

Kiss me then. This isn't kissing.

You want a love bite?

Honey, do you still love me? - Why shouldn't I?

As long as you love me, we can't go far wrong.

I know what you're doing Ko.

You're tormenting yourself.

I'm coming to terms.

You've still got your slippers on.

Mum, Zwier's nabbed Betty.

She's his girlfriend.

A nice cup of tea.

Bucks me up no end.

I was just thinking, Mum.

Supposing...

Supposing you weren't around any more. What then?

You'd still have your dad.

Your brothers, Auntie Zus.

But supposing I was no longer around?

No worries there.

Not with your sturdy legs plodding through life.

I bet you reach a ripe old age.

But supposing, just supposing I was dead.

Would you really miss me?

What's got into you?

You're far too young to be dwelling on death.

Let's talk about babies instead.

Suzy, do something. Like homework.

Soft skins...

...cute smiles...

...tiny fingers.

Dirty nappies, that's my memory.

Putting dirty nappies through the mangle every Sunday. Bah.

The very thought.

Nappies aren't for you. - What if I come home pregnant?

You'll have to find a nice sweetheart first.

How do I meet a nice sweetheart?

By taking up a sport.

Orjoining a club? - What kind of club?

How should I know? Look in the phone book.

Goodness, what a fat mouse.

You're a whopper.

What's your name? Come here.

You're a darling.

What's that in your paws?

Another drink? - Same again.

Forged IDs.

Smuggled arms. Blew up tankers.

Killed a few.

Who cares? Not a soul.

Friends, neighbors.

Unfortunately, I won't read from my own work, but from another author's instead.

In the train there is always a sign that says:

While the train is in the station please refrain from using the toilets.

But I always use them.

While the train is in the station I go for a good shit. On purpose.

I often try to squeeze it out, in vain.

At least I tried.

I make you come eating, come dancing...

...come tasting, come stroking...

...come screwing, come petting...

...come squeezing, come eating...

...come drinking, come sleeping, come waking...

...come squeezing...

Finished dreaming?

Any idea what you're on about? - You scared the life out of me.

Sweetie...

...how long have you been doing this?

What exactly?

You don't know what you're on about.

If you ask me, this isn't right.

I'm practizing for the future. I'll have a huge audience.

Doing what? - Talking.

Reading from my own work. - Don't make me laugh. You.

Know what you're fit for? Working in a raincoat factory.

How's your back?

How about a massage?

Or a cup of warm milk?

I'm going to bed.

You asleep?

Nothing. I asked if you were asleep.

I'm lying in the smoke. Put that fag out.

Nothing's allowed here.

Do you still love me?

To the depths of my heart. The deepest depths.

Keep talking, then I'll drop off again.

I hate being unemployed.

Honey, I earn enough.

It's weekend, so forget work. Look in the papers again tomorrow.

I'm the joker...

...but I'm not lugging boxes around all day long.

Working from nine to five makes men softies.

No, not now.

The kids may be home any moment.

So Betty, changed sides have you? - Hi Jimmy.

This is Zwier, the boy next door, that's all. - What do you want with such a faggot?

Stop it.

So you prefer a creep, right?

Let me explain something.

Betty is my girlfriend. You don't get a look in.

Right? - No.

I've fallen for Zwier.

But Betty, you're mine.

I think you're wrong, Dad.

Goodnight, kid.

I'll tell Mum.

You'll keep your trap shut.

Your dad is looking for you.

No way.

He's off to a whore for a coffee.

Oh Zwier, what shall we do?

Nothing. Just shut your trap.

You and your teddy boy Jimmy.

We shouldn't see each other for a while.

What?

I did it for you, you bitch. - It really upset me, Zwier.

My key?

Forgot my key.

Is that you, Zwier?

No Mum, it's only me.

Come on in for a chat.

Look what I found.

Where was it?

In the paws of a big mouse in Zwier's bedroom.

Oh, that's Victor, a rat.

Victor?

Zwier's pet rat. - Ugh, disgusting.

Honestly? I hope it won't make me ill.

You could have taken Suzy...

With make up on, she won't embarrass you.

She's fine, when she's cheerful. - Jesus, I'm not a babysitter.

That's not what I meant. I thought...

It would have been nice, that's all I'm saying.

Zwier, is that you?

Hi honey, had a nice evening?

Who put those damn petit fours next to my bed?

Why is it so dark in here? I thought Patty was with you.

Betty.

Turn on the light.

It stays off!

I'll just air the room.

It was a treat for you and Patty. - Leave me alone, mum.

I know something's wrong, Zwier.

I have to know.

It's nothing. But you tell lies, and mums shouldn't do that.

You're really upset.

Don't.

No need to snap.

I can tell you're upset by those lovely eyes of yours.

Who upset you?

Tell me, that's why I'm here.

No, it's none of your business.

I've never loved you.

I love you lots too. - Listen, bitch.

Bitch... Don't let dad hear you using language like that.

I'm not using language now. I'm talking to you.

Put that away, you idiot. It's my good knife.

Stop being silly. You love me too much for that.

That's what you say.

If there's one child I did my best for, it's you.

You do your best to choke me.

It infects the whole household.

Blow out that candle. - No, I'm phoning the doctor.

If you really must do something, then phone the funeral parlor.

Why?

Not for me. For that stupid jerk.

What happened?

Swear you won't tell Ko?

Swear?

Here.

Pardon? - It's for you.

Do I know you?

By sight, perhaps.

Why don't you come in?

Here you go.

Bye.

No way. You must carry a knife.

That will teach them.

You'd do the same, Mum? - Me?

Yes, if they hurt you.

Oh, so you ate them?

Ah, what a shame.

Poor mite.

Tucked up in bed.

You need to be taught a lesson.

What were you doing in my room?

Dad's coming.

He's gone round the world. He's never coming back.

Put that knife away.

I hate you...

...fucking sister.

What's wrong? Stop scaring me.

You were eavesdropping.

Was it funny?

I heard you laughing at me.

Why should I?

You take the piss out of everyone, that's why.

No, I don't. Stop it.

Put that knife away. It's covered in blood.

Get dressed.

Get undressed.

I want an apology.

Why?

It's illegal. I could press charges:

For the blood on the knife.

If Dad finds out.

I'm sorry.

Can I lie next to you?

Go to Betty's bed.

Drop dead. Just when I'm friendly.

I love you.

Ssst. It's dad.

The Joker has returned.

Who wants to play?

Kids, get dressed. We're breakfasting together.

No.

You must. Tomorrow's Sunday, you can do what you like then.

No, I'm ill. - You'll fall behind.

They tease me so much. - No kidding.

You too? Why?

'Cos I wear makeup and a hair band.

And we read a trashy newspaper.

They're probably all lefties.

I like reading trash at breakfast.

You're just like me, I always hated school too.

Palmer, no school today?

No, I'm free.

Really?

Hi honey, how are you?

Did you sleep well? - Not too bad.

You were quite upset.

Don't let your dad know. - Great idea.

Fancy coming shopping? - I've got a headache.

Look, darling.

What's wrong, honey? - I feel dreadful.

Oh dear.

What a bunch ofwimps.

What a family.

You poor thing.

Egg roll. - Egg roll, gee.

They're full of missing Chinese and dog's hairs.

Don't. Don't. Stop it, before I puke.

Well, you should, right now. Sink, sink...

No, I can't.

I feel so awful.

Butter, sausage roll, ketchup and mayonnaise.

No. - Yes, it's over then.

Coffee cake with cream and greasy sausages...

...with a cat's poo sauce.

Come here.

Stop it.

I'm only trying to help.

Are you alright?

Sunshine, let me be.

Flush the loo, Ko.

I need to pee. Hurry.

Shame, you're feeling so rotten.

It's those bankruptcy goods.

I told you about all those dirty goods.

God knows what was in them.

It was the egg roll, the egg roll.

There's a bucket on the balcony.

My belly, my liver, my spleen.

You've never had a gut ache like this.

Who?

One moment.

Suzy, it's for you.

It's the kid who stutters, what's her name?

Hi Sophie.

No, I couldn't face school. What's up?

Mick Jagger?

No, you're joking.

Is she there too?

OK, bye.

Honey, are you fit enough to do the shopping?

Honey, can't Suzy do it?

No, she'll only buy the Musical Express. Please.

You know how to handle money.

True, you lot only buy junk for yourselves.

OK, if I must.

I'll take some tins to the pub. I might shift them there.

No Ko, don't. Please.

Must I wear my gym shorts again?

I never have any clean knickers on Saturdays.

Just this once. They're nice and warm.

Panties cause cystitis.

Afriend of Mary |Quant. Whatever next.

You got her out of bed.

It's Saturday. Most people sleep in.

What a scream.

What will you do there?

Introduce myself, make friends then move in with them.

Take her up to room 306.

Is this licorice?

Can I have your autograph, please?

Yes, sure.

There you are. - Thanks.

Hi, Mr Grocer. - Hi.

Can't you see I'm doing business?

I made two new friends. - Lucky you, two for the price of one.

Guess who? Mick Jagger and Marianne Faithfull.

Run and tell your mum.

Mick Jagger gave me a French kiss.

Mum, I'm having a baby.

So Grandma told you the facts of life? Jesus.

My dumb gym shorts ruined it. - Stop rambling.

Gym shorts, what do you mean?

French kisses? I'm calling the police.

And his dick was stiff. - Wash your hands. This minute.

And he smelt of old tea.

He fell for me straight away.

Sex and love are two separate things.

For men, especially.

Mick Jagger, Mum.

No one's done that.

It was love at first sight.

Real love means doing nothing for the first 3 months.

First you have to long for each other.

It's a shame. I don't want to hear it.

Did you and Dad long for each other?

Passionately. Really passionately.

Hans phoned, so I have to go. - I want to be photographed too.

Well, tidy yourself up.

You look as if you've been in bed with that old teabag.

I think we should go to the police.

He started it, not me.

Don't get on my nerves, Betty.

I don't want to see you anymore.

OK, same here.

You're not deserting me?

I am.

I had to defend you, silly cow.

Arch one eyebrow.

What for? - Mind your own business, pixie.

That's great.

Guess what? Suzy met Mick Jagger today.

Is that what I saw? You're an imaginative girl.

Don't you believe me? - Yeah, let's hear it.

No, you won't believe me anyway. - How can I believe you then?

Marianne pulled me into the room and the world spun.

Yes, that's good. Put it to your ear.

Very nice, sweetie.

Nice.

Fine.

Lean back a bit.

I feel sorry for my dad.

He should be put out of his misery.

A dad without a job is like a chair without a seat.

Your mum went back to bed.

A bilious attack?

Her back, I think.

Cystitis, perhaps. - No?

Wasn't it her tummy?

Whatever it is, your mum won't screw.

You mustn't say that.

Come and sit with me.

God, you're great company.

Rawhide's on TV.

I've got homework to do. - On a Saturday evening?

Are those boots more comfortable than slippers?

I'm listening to the film.

I'm going to be a model later on.

Not work in a raincoat factory.

Don't empty the bottle so fast.

It's empty now.

I met Mick Jagger, you know.

He saw me, he really saw me.

Fancied you in bed, more like.

I bet you were on your back in no time...

...for a gold dick like his.

I like attractive men. So what?

No...

...I mean a dick with dough. I know you.

Spoken by our living-room cowboy.

I'm telling Mum. And about my diary too.

I shit on those rock stars of yours. Freaks...

...with common gobs. Sewage.

Why are you here? Go back to that smelly stuff where you belong.

You make me sick.

Always trying to belittle me.

You'll give me a heart attack.

Selfish little bitch. You're a nail in my coffin.

No one likes you. No one.

With your constant prattle.

Damn it, I'll show her.

Ko beat up Suzy.

Mum, do something.

Divorce him, kick him out, leave him.

Do something.

Suzy provoked him, naturally.

But he shouldn't hit her.

Once more and I'll divorce you, Ko.

Why do you do it? I can't stand it any more.

We must all stay calm.

We've got to talk. We can't go on like this.

I only stood up for you.

I only wanted to be with you, not them.

You always forget they're only children.

Suzy was so happy today. - Idiotic story.

Let her be.

Let them be.

They have to find out for themselves. You can't stop them anyway.

Star madness didn't exist in our day.

It did, but you've forgotten.

Well, same old, ditty.

Ever considered your future?

Yeah, a psychologist in Mogadon city.

A prime outlet.

You'll feel at home among suckers like that.

Or make history with a cocked rifle.

You?

No, the army won't have you. You're like a box calf:

Immature and constantly in the shit.

Alright, Suzy?

I can't go to school like this.

Wear your rollneck sweater, it looks so nice on you.

What a wonderful morning. Surrounded by my loved ones.

I bore these darlings myself, Ko.

With your seed.

War seed. - Enough of that.

Where's my spoon?

Just pass it. - Don't fling them.

Tastes delicious, if I say so myself.

What does it smell of?

It's exciting, Zwier. And such a treat. The smell is so familiar.

The soup's awful. It's too rich for my stomach.

Shall we go for Chinese?

Tell us, Zwier. Go on.

Jesus.

Why? - Attention.

Bloody hell.

Let's face it, I'm extraordinary.

I feel like vomiting.

It's tragic. Which knife did you use?

It tastes good. - Which knife, Zwier.

As punishment, Zwier will finish the soup. And all shut up...

...I'm trying to eat. - Why did you do it?

And with which knife? - Bunch of mother fuckers.

Because no one listens, that's why.

|Quiet. I'm concentrating on my soup.

Bloody moron.

Fucking wimp.

One more word. - Shut up.

One more word. - Shut up, fucking wimp.

One more word. - Shut up, shut your gob.

Shut your gob, shut your gob.

Another word and I'll ram you into your room for a whole week.

Or you can clear off. For good.

Let's all go out for a nice walk. - Zwier stays here.

Palmer, feel like sitting in the van?

Oh kids, don't go.

I don't get it.

Get what?

Zwier's flipped his lid, if you ask me.

I'm afraid of him sometimes. You too?

Go on, tell the truth.

I don't know.

Do you love our family?

Too much, that's the problem.

Look Suzy, you're not smart.

You interfere too much. - What else can I do?

What I do.

You're never here.

There's so much to see in the world.

A guy like Hendriks won't come back.

That Mick Jagger of yours.

So we conveniently forget the tortoise?

Tortoise.

Why can't the creep just be normal?

As soon as I get my driving license, I'm off.

Out of this hell.

It's not that bad.

Take our suburban neighbors.

They're ten times worse.

Don't you ever wish that everything could be normal for once?

I don't even know what normal is.

Let's try it for once. - Stop going on about it.

I said: Try to have fun together. - Count me out, please.

No Ko, we must try. God, you're all so gloomy.

In spite of it all, I still love you. - I love you too.

God, it's started to rain.