Original subtitles

Who can turn the world on with her smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all

seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should know it.

With each glance and every little movement you show it, love is all

need to waste it. You can have the town, why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all.

You're gonna make it after all.

discovered the most exquisite little Italian restaurant right around the

All the waiters are from Italy.

Before I even got to my table, I was pinched black and blue.

Well, I'm glad to see you found a restaurant with the kind of service you

Say, Sue Ann, you have any idea who Murray is seeing for lunch? He left her

dressed up.

Ted, what Murray does in his lunch hour is none of your concern.

Mary's right, dear.

Why should I care if he wants to spend his lunch hour locked in the arms of

voluptuous wench whispering, I need you, I want you, I must have you.

Don't stop her. She may be wrong, but I love it.

Hiya, gang.

Hi. Is Lou in? Yeah.

Oh, you old son of a gun.

How'd it go?

How'd what go? Oh.

silly idea that you're carrying on with some cheap floozy. And you promised you

wouldn't tell, darling.

Have a cigar, Lou.

What's the occasion?

Well, my father always told me if you have to break bad news to somebody,

sometimes a cigar makes it seem a little easier.

That's a pretty big cigar.

Yeah, I got a pretty big problem.

Lay it on me, Murray.

Whatever it is, I'm sure I can solve it. Okay.

I just had lunch with the station manager at WKR.

He offered me a job as producer of the news, and I don't see how I can turn him

down, Lou.

Producer of the news? Yeah.

That's terrific.

I'm really happy for you, Murray. Thanks, Lou, thanks.

Oh, boy.

It comes as kind of a shock, though.

I mean...

We're sure going to miss you around here.

I've worked with a lot of news writers in my time.

And you're the best.

The very best.

This place sure won't be the

same without you.

Are you sure you want to leave?

I'm afraid so, no.

Okay, to hell with sentiment.

Let's try money.

Lou, it's got nothing to do with money. It's a step up. Producing is something

I've always wanted to do.

I see.

Well, I don't know what we can do to... Wait a second.

How about I make you co -producer? Co -producer? Would you say then?

Well, gee, sure I would, Lou, but... Okay, you got it. Yeah, but that's

impossible. I mean, Mary is the producer. Don't you think you should

her? Don't worry about Mary. She'll be delighted.

You think so? Of course!

Mary, you're her favorite person in the whole world.

Besides, she's been complaining about being overworked lately.

Really? Oh, yeah, this will take a lot of the pressure off of her. Oh,

Oh, believe me, she'll love the idea.

In fact, I'm going to take her out to dinner tonight and spring the good news

her then.

Hey, that's great.

Hey, thanks.

Oh, don't be silly.

Come on, come on.

Mary, can you come in here for a second?

Mary, can you have dinner with me tonight? I'd like to talk something over

you. Dinner? Yeah, sure.

What do you want to talk over? Oh, there's plenty of time for that.

First, have a cigar.

Thank you.

Well, I don't know what it is you wanted to talk to me about, Mr. Grant, but I

have a feeling it's important.

who have never taken me to such an elegant restaurant.

Relax, Mary.

I told you I'll tell you when the time is right.

Now I want to make a toast.

A toast? Mm -hmm. To Mary Richards.

Kind.

Generous.

Understanding Mary Richards, who always says, there's nothing I won't do for a

friend. When did I say that?

What? There's nothing I won't do for a friend. Just now. Cheers.

Mr. Grant, come on. What's this all about?

Later, Mary, when the time is right.

Now, what do you feel like eating?

Well, I don't know. I am starved. Mm -hmm.

I don't believe this. What's wrong?

The prices.

Huh? Lamb chops, $16.

Steak Diane, $20.

Don't worry. We'll get even later. We'll steal some silverware.

Just have whatever you'd like.

Are you sure?

Well, they order steak Diane.

It's the most expensive thing on the menu.

Be my guest.

Are you ready to order?

Oh, yes.

I'll have the steak Diane. Marie's quitting.

What? Yeah, he told me today.

Oh, no.

Have you decided?

Oh, no, I'm not hungry.

Good. Two coffees.

Yeah, I know.

I'm sorry I had to tell you now, but I figured the time was right.

I don't understand.

Why is he quitting? Well, he was offered a chance to produce the news at WKR.

Produce? Oh,

that's great.

I think you'll make a wonderful producer.

You do?

Yeah, I just wish we didn't have to lose him.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

If only...

If only there was something we could do to keep old Murr from quitting.

What about if you offer him more money?

No good, I've already asked. Oh, that's too bad. But keep thinking.

There must be something we can do.

Wait a minute.

What if... No, no, forget it. What is it? No, just a dumb idea.

I can't even tell you. That's a dumb idea. Oh, Mr. Grant, please. What is it?

Well... I thought maybe we could get old Murr to stay if we made him

co -producer. You know, you and him co -producing the news.

You're right.

Yeah? That's a dumb idea.

It's not that dumb.

Really dumb, yes.

Mr. Grant, don't misunderstand me. I love Murr.

It's just that producing the news at WJM doesn't require two people.

And quite frankly, Mr. Grant, it's not fair to me. You know how hard I work to

become producer.

I know.

I know.

Like I said, it was a dumb idea.

There's only one little problem, though.

I already told him I'd make him co -producer.

What?

So that's what this was all about.

You're devious.

You're devious and underhanded.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I didn't know what to do.

I don't want to lose Murray.

Not after all the years we spent together.

I mean, I love him.

I really do.

I just had to find some way of holding on to him. Well, you're just going to

have to tell Murray it's not going to work out.

Murray, how can I do that without breaking his heart?

That's your problem.

Don't listen to her. You're much better off with Murray.

Good morning, dear.

Oh, hi.

Mary, I was lying in bed last night and I couldn't sleep and I got the most

wonderful idea. So I went right home and wrote it down.

news show.

I might do a restaurant review.

You know, I could tell people the specialties of the house, the prices,

get a chef to divulge a secret or two.

And each week I could go to a different restaurant.

One week an Italian, then next week a German, then a Chinese, then a

What's up, Sue Ann? You taking your room at the U .N.? You know, Sue Ann, that's

not a bad idea. Let me think about it and I'll get back to you. Oh, bless you,

Mary. Oh, Mary.

You're so lucky.

Other men get dandruff. You get waxy yellow buildup.

So, uh, good morning.

Good morning, Murray.

Did you, uh, speak with Lou? Yes, yes, yes.

Mary, I can't tell you how grateful I am for what you've done for me.

I mean, I don't know if things were turned around if I could be as unselfish

you.

Oh, I... I mean, I really appreciate it, Mary, and I

want you to know that I think we're going to be terrific together. Well, Mr.

Grant should be in any minute. Oh, yeah, well, I want to thank Lou, too.

Mary, you should have heard Marie last night when I told her the news.

I don't think I've ever seen her so happy.

Homer, there's just so much work to do. You're right, and I'm going to help you

with it. We are going to do it together.

Mr. Grant, you're here.

Hey, Lou,

look, I was just telling Mary how grateful I am for what you've done.

Well, you know, making me co -producer.

Thanks, Lou.

Oh, yeah.

Listen, Marie, there's something I have to tell you. Oh? Mr. Grant, do you think

you could possibly do this in your office?

No.

Out here will be fine.

Murray, what I have to say isn't exactly easy.

Could you tell him later? The man's working right now for crying out loud.

What is it, Lou?

Murray, when I suggested to Mary that you co -produce the news, she said

something. All right, all right, Mr. Grant, I will tell Murray myself.

last night when Mr. Grant suggested that you and I co -produce the news, I

leveled with him. I told him exactly how I feel.

Oh, and what did you say?

I said I thought it was the best damn idea he's ever had.

Hey, Murr, what do you want to do with this story on the attempted

in Venezuela?

Uh, what did you want to do with it?

film clip, go to commercial, and then lead with the story when we come back.

Yeah, yeah, that's good, too.

What do you mean, that's good, too?

Well, I mean, I mean, that's fine. Uh, let's just do it your way.

Well, no, Murray, you said that's good, too, and that must mean you had another

idea, wasn't it? Oh, yeah. Uh, well, I was thinking we could put it with that

story on, uh, on the student riots in Bolivia. You know, do a whole thing on

general unrest in South America today. Oh, yeah, that's interesting.

Actually, I wasn't even going to do the Bolivian story. I mean...

You know, it's a pretty small riot, as riots go down there.

Sure, we'll do it that way. That's fine.

Oh, no, no, Mayor. Why don't you just put it up front, you know, like you want

it to.

If you think that's best.

Congratulations,

Murray. I just heard good news, so I thought I'd bake a little cake for the

new co -producers.

Oh, Sue Ann, that's just so typical.

Isn't that a wedding cake?

Yes, well...

Actually, it was to be for my cameraman and his fiancée, but they broke up.

That's too bad.

He got angry when she showed up at his stag party in one of the films.

Have you had a chance to make a decision on what I mentioned to you before? Oh,

yes. I wanted to talk that over with you, Murray. Sue Ann thought we might do

dining out segment on the news. You know, where she'd review a different

restaurant each week. What do you think?

Gee, I don't know. What do you think?

Oh, Murr, please.

All right, I'll tell you what.

We'll flip a coin. And whoever wins will make this decision.

What do you want, heads or tails?

I don't know. What do you want? Okay, okay.

Sue Ann, I think it's a great idea. We'll try it out next week. Oh, bless

Mary. And it's going to be just terrific. You'll see. We'll do wonders

ratings.

What was that all about?

Oh, Sue Ann's going to do a dining out segment on the news. On my news?

Ted, it's just a small segment, once a week.

You don't fool me, Mary. I can see what's happening.

Put a chick on the news and gradually give her a bigger and bigger spot.

Before I know it, you've got her taking over my job and I'm out in my ear. Oh,

Ted. It's all part of the plan, isn't it?

The plan?

The master plan.

The master plan?

Oh, sure, Murray.

Such is my job thereafter.

Don't you know what they really want, all these chicks?

They want to take over the world.

No joke, Murray. They want to take over the world. I'm telling you.

It's a secret organization that every chick on earth belongs to.

Oh, they've been playing it cool, but they're not fooling me.

Have you ever noticed whenever they go to the bathroom, they never go alone?

They always ask another chick to go with them.

That's where they hold their meetings.

And have you noticed they're always asking for quarters?

Dues.

Oh, Mary, don't deny it. I know what I know.

I tried to listen in on one of their meetings once, had my ear to the door.

But they're clever.

They won't let you hear anything. They keep flushing.

Shame on you, Mary.

Yes, well, I guess the jig's up.

All right, who blew it?

Whose fault is it? What's wrong? What's wrong?

One of my genius co -producers was supposed to send film on that water

story to editing, and now we won't have it for the show in time.

That means that for three extra minutes, we're going to be looking at Ted Baxter

when we could have been looking at raw sewage.

Hey, let's face it, Lou.

This is my first day as co -producer, and obviously this is a monumental screw

-up, and, well, it's got to be my fault.

No, no, Murr, come on. Look, I've been producing for a lot longer than you

I should have seen to it that it was taken care of.

If anyone deserves the blame, I do. It was my fault.

Maybe you're right.

Mr. Grant, I would like very much to talk to you about Murray.

Through no fault of my own, I seem to find myself in a very difficult

Look, I have a meeting.

Tell you what.

Why don't I come to your place tonight?

Okay, fine. What time?

How about dinner time?

Dinner time? Oh, don't worry.

You won't have to lift a finger. I'll bring dinner.

Lou. Lou, did you hear?

Mary wants Sue Wayne to do a dining out segment on my show.

Yeah? I think that's a terrific idea.

Well, so do I.

I did.

You said I wouldn't have to lift a finger. Well, that's up to you, Mary.

You want to eat raw duck or you want to lift a finger?

Mr. Grant, the point was not for me to cook tonight. The point was for us to

discuss Murray. I know, I know. But when I saw this ducky in the window, I just

couldn't resist it.

Incidentally, I don't like it too crisp.

I'm not cooking that duck.

Well, that may not be crisp enough.

Mr. Grant. Okay.

What did you want to talk about?

Murray. Oh.

Co -producing just isn't working out.

You're going to have to do something.

I know.

I know.

But what am I going to do?

Fire Murray?

Fire you?

I'm in a corner, Mary. I don't see any way out.

Well, as it happens, there is a way out.

The station manager at WKR called me today, and he offered me the same

job that Murray turned down.

So I think, you know, it might be better for everyone if I take it.

I don't... I don't know what to say, Mary.

The idea of your leaving WJM is such a shock.

I just think it's the only thing to do.

Well, I'm sure gonna miss you.

I've worked with a lot of news producers and...

You're the best.

The very best.

The old newsroom just isn't going to be the same without you.

Are you sure you want to leave?

Well, I don't know. Maybe Marie and I can work something out.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

All of a sudden, we're starting to click together as a team?

Yeah, really.

Clicking.

I mean, take today.

You wanted to close with Sue Ann's promo on the dining out segment.

Yeah, but your idea was better. Closing with the story on rising corn prices.

No problem. I bowed to your judgment.

Well, no, Murr. Actually, I bowed to your judgment.

Well, no, Murr. Didn't I tell you? I told Ted to close with the copy for Sue

Ann.

Oh. Oh, my God.

What's wrong? I told the projectionist it was the other way around.

Oh, my God.

And now, continuing with the news, local pig farmers serve notice today that

rising corn prices are forcing them to find other means to feed their stock.

Many of them are already resorting to substitute diets of slop and garbage.

Here's one pig who doesn't seem to know.

Just look at her gobble up that slop.

Oh, well, pigs will be pigs.

Well, that's the news for tonight. Starting tomorrow, we'll be presenting a

feature on WJN, Dining Out with Sue Ann Dibbitt.

Here's Sue Ann now in one of her favorite eating places.

When it comes to food, we all know that Sue Ann is very hard.

You're pleased.

But Chef Antonio seems to be doing quite well.

Tune in to War Night, and Sue Ann will share some of the recipes for those

delis.

for one news show just doesn't work.

We can only have one producer. That means we got to work something out.

I know what's supposed to happen here.

Sure, a nice guy, Murray, is supposed to step down and make everything easy for

everybody. Sure, I'm supposed to say, hey, Lou, it's okay. I'll go back to

a news writer. Don't worry about it.

Well, I'm not going to do it.

I'm not going to make it easy for you, Lou.

I see.

And I see, too.

I know what don't make waves Mary is supposed to do here.

I'm supposed to say, gosh, Murr, if it's that important for you, I'll step down

and you take the job.

Well, I'm not going to do that. I didn't work as hard as I did for seven years

to get here and then give it up.

Hey.

Listen.

I've known a lot of co -producers in my time.

And you two are the best.

The very best. Oh, will you knock it off?

All right.

All right.

I know what I'm supposed to do here, too.

I'm supposed to size up the situation and then come up with a logical and fair

solution. Well, I got news for you. There is none.

As I see it, There are only two ways out.

Either Mary is sole producer and Murray goes back to being news writer, or

Murray is sole producer and Mary goes back to being associate producer.

Either way, it's unfair.

Murray gave up a chance to produce at WKR.

Mary's done a wonderful job here at WJM.

But I'm just going to have to make an arbitrary choice as to how it's going to

be.

Okay?

Okay. All right.

is how I decide.

Mary.

Yes.

Murray is producer. You're back to associate producer.

Mr. Craig. I'm sorry, Mary. I had to do something.

Hey, wait a second, Lou.

Look, I thought this was what I wanted.

But it isn't.

I don't want to become producer this way.

I'll go back to being a writer.

I loved being a writer.

Oh, Murray. Hey, Mary, look, this is the first decision I've made.

Don't try to change my mind.

Are you sure?

I'm positive.

Hey, producer, how about you buying me a drink?

Sometimes it works.

Sometimes it doesn't.