Original subtitles

Who can turn the world on with her smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all

seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should know it.

With each glance and every little movement you show it, love is all alone,

need to waste it. You can never tell, why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all.

I have a provocative question.

Why is the producer of the 6 o 'clock news watching the writer of the 6 o

news write the 6 o 'clock news?

Because, Mr. Grant, since you made me a producer over a week ago, I just feel I

should be doing something more. I'm just supervising somebody.

Can't you give me some... something to do? I don't care anything. How small or

insignificant? Bye, guys.

Okay. From now on, you can supervise Ted.

Welcome to your first command, General Custer.

Say, the newsroom is certainly redolent of coffee this morning.

It's what?

And you call yourself a writer?

Redolent. Redolent of coffee.

It means it smells.

Ted, what's the book?

You and your vocabulary.

I'm planning to work in a few words to every newscast, give it a little class.

What do you think of the idea, Murr?

I think it's redolent, Ted.

Well, Mary, we certainly didn't wait long to get ourselves a press agent, did

we? What are you talking about, Joanne? This piece of puffery in the TV section.

News show appoints woman producer.

I didn't see that.

I'll bet.

With this devotion, Mary Richards becomes the most important woman at

WJM.

Someone around here certainly wasn't very reticent.

Now, what's that supposed to mean?

Reticent? Inclined to be silent?

Ed, come on, I know what the word means.

Sue Ann, I didn't give them this story.

Although I must say, it certainly is accurate.

Oh, Mary, you sweet, innocent, naive, albeit ruthless child.

Mary, here's to my... That's rundown. I put everything the way I want it. Bring

me Murray's copy so I can approve it. Then see if you can get somebody up here

to fix that squeak in my chair.

Right.

Mary, I know how busy a producer is.

So here's a little tip.

A dab of Mazzola oil on Lou's swivel and he'll be sitting pretty.

Well, I'm off. This afternoon I'm doing my annual salute to fruit.

Plop my prunes.

Here's one for you, Murray.

What's superfluous?

Me.

Come in.

Mr. Grant.

Did you get anything from the squeak in my chair?

No, I didn't, Mr. Grant. I'm not a chair squeak fixer.

You got Murray's copy?

No, no. I thought I would read Murray's copy. I'm the producer.

Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly why I've made you my producer, Mary, to relieve me of

that kind of chore.

Yeah, and that's exactly what I want to talk to you about. I've got to tell you,

you've been doing a terrific job.

Well, thank you, Mr. Graham, but I always think that you... I'm not much on

compliments, but this whole past week, you've been just great.

I mean it.

Well, thank you very much, Mr. Graham, but I wonder if you know... You don't

know what it means to have someone you can lean on to step into a job like

to take the worries off your shoulders.

I'm one lucky guy.

Well, that's really very nice of you to say, Mr. Grant.

You know what the big difference has been, Mary?

Since you've been in charge here, nobody's come through my door to

to argue about anything.

Wow, that's been great.

Well, sure, yes, I can see where that would be a relief.

Yeah, so I just want to say to you, Mary Richards,

Thanks for doing the job so well. You're welcome, and thank you.

What just happened?

I sandbagged you.

You came in here to gripe about something. I took the wind out of your

That's why I'm the executive producer.

Yeah, and Mr. Grant, I'm the producer.

I know I am because I see my name on the credits of the show every night, but

that's the only way anyone could tell.

Okay.

Okay. Okay.

I'll get you a sign for your desk.

Mr.

Grant, I don't want a sign for my desk.

I just want a chance to produce the 6 o 'clock news, just to see if I can do it.

All right.

You got it.

Tomorrow you do the whole show yourself.

Oh, Mr. Grant, thank you. Thank you. I just can't tell you how much I

this. And, Mr. Grant, I don't want you to worry about a thing. I am going to

rise to the occasion.

I'm going to make you so proud of me.

I'm going to get you some Missoula oil for your chair.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is Edward Daniels with the 9 o 'clock

news.

David Baker, the head of the United Nations Emergency Fund, said today he

received a $1 billion commitment from... Hi, Mary.

I hope we're not disturbing you. No, not at all. Come on in. Thank you. We got

through dinner early tonight.

We have precise service at that restaurant. That's why I take her there.

special orders. The girl just sings in the microphone.

Hold her pickle.

Hold her lettuce.

I'm holding it.

Oh, I see you're watching Channel 3.

Oh, yeah. They have a 9 o 'clock newscast.

Well, it's always helpful to check the competition there.

Hmm. Good laser, average voice, weak vocabulary.

I did check in to see if there were any new stories since the 8 o 'clock

broadcast. Are you nervous about tomorrow, Mary?

Oh, come on, Georgette. I've been an associate producer for five years now, a

producer for over a week, and so I'm nervous.

I want you to know, Mayor, that I'm one guy you can count on tomorrow.

Of course, after you have that first show under your belt, there are a few

improvements I'd like to discuss with you.

But in the meantime, we just stopped by to wish you good luck and bring you some

flowers. Oh, well, thank you.

Unfortunately, the florists are all closed this time of night.

Why don't you buy yourself something?

You can keep the change. No, thank you.

What kind of improvements?

Oh, just a lot of stuff to make you look good as a producer.

Uh -huh.

Example, the title of the show. The title?

Of the 6 o 'clock news?

Oh, let's face it, Mary. People tune in to watch yours truly. That's what it's

all about.

The title of the show should be The Baxter Report.

No, Ted.

Ted, Mary can't go making a whole lot of changes right away.

All right, all right, Mary.

How about this, a new opening?

An aerial shot of my car pulling up.

I step out of the car, and I race up the stairs, a grim look of urgency on my

face, and I race down the hall.

You should think of those things before you leave the house.

We are leaving the opening exactly the way it is.

All right, all right, Mary. Have it your way.

I tried to help you, but you're too lazy to think big. Come on, Georgia.

No, Ted.

Mary needs moral support, and I'm staying for a while.

All right, I'll pick you up in about an hour. Mary, let me tell you something.

You know what you are?

Lascivious.

Call me Lucidius. Correction, that's lethargic. It's on the same page.

Would you like some coffee?

Yes, thanks.

Mary, don't worry about tomorrow.

You're going to do fine.

Oh, thanks, Georgette. Listen, you were sweet to stay.

Boy, I tell you, it's times like these I really miss Rhoda. I'll bet you do.

What would Rhoda say if she were here?

Oh, I don't know that it's anything.

that she'd say. She'd just listen, I guess.

I'll listen.

Pretend I'm Rhoda. Go ahead.

Well, okay.

I'm nervous.

Really nervous.

You know, about tomorrow.

Worried that something could go wrong.

This isn't going very well, is it?

Are you sure all Rhoda would do is just listen?

Well, I guess about here is where Rhoda would have made a joke, you know, to

sort of relieve the tension.

I'm sorry, I'm not very good at jokes.

That's okay. I guess I'm just really tense about tomorrow.

This priest is playing golf with this rabbi.

Who handles the clock?

Why? Well, Tokyo is five minutes low.

Oh, yeah.

It's little things like that that cost them the war.

What's the matter, Mary?

I don't know. I just, I can't stay seated today.

Somehow, I just don't feel a producer should be sitting.

Mary, if God didn't intend for producers to sit, he wouldn't have given them

such big chairs.

You know, I just need to feel I should be on my feet in case I have to deal

anything in a hurry.

One o 'clock in the afternoon? Come on, Mary, relax.

After all, Lou was right in there. If any problem comes up, what do you got to

do? No, Murray.

If any problem comes up, I'll handle it.

I can't relate.

I knew you wouldn't care, Mary. I mean, what the heck, we don't punch a time

clock around here.

Well, the point is, Ted, if you get here on time for Mr. Grant, you can get here

on time for me.

To do what?

Whatever it is that you do when you get here on time for Mr. Grant.

All right, Mary.

But I think you're being a little punctilious.

That's it. You're going to give me that book? Do I have to take it away from

you?

Is Lou in, Mary?

Yes, he is. Oh.

Mel, what did you want to see him about?

Oh, I got this note that the producer wants some changes in the set. Oh, yes.

Well, I'm the producer now.

Yeah? Yeah.

Congratulations. Thank you.

Mel? Yeah, I just want to see what Lou wants.

Yeah, but see, I'm the one who wanted the sketches. You are? Yes.

Yes.

Did you know, Mel, that we haven't changed the basic set in five years? Oh.

also, I wanted to talk to you. about wardrobe Ted's blazer.

I want to get rid of it. Oh.

Preferably before he has time to take it off.

Hey, Lou, you want to check the copy?

Marie, give it to me.

Oh, sorry, I mean, I just thought Lou... Oh, Lou, do you want to look at these?

Mary thinks the set should be changed.

What for?

The set's fine. Leave it alone.

Mr. Grant, I thought I was the producer.

That's right, Mary.

Well, then why don't you let me do my job?

Mary, the first thing you have to learn as a producer is not to have this sort

of discussion with your executive producer in front of other people.

Oh, I'm sure nobody heard.

Oh, I certainly didn't.

I'm really sorry, Mr. Graham, but you are not letting me do my job.

All right.

Go ahead.

Do your job.

You don't need any help? Fine.

Well, no, wait. I never said that I didn't need help. Yes, you did, Mary,

everybody heard you.

Well, I certainly did.

You can do everything, Mary. Good for you.

Lots of luck. You'll need it.

Well, Mary, I guess that'll teach you to be bellicose.

So, Mer, we'll open with the Senate hearing, and we'll follow with the

crackdown, and then the governor's conference, huh? That sounds like a good

lineup. Yeah, listen, I got one problem. We have 30 seconds at the end of the

show. Now, which do you think is more important, the birth of the baby

rhinoceros at the zoo or the California great pickers' strike?

It depends on whether you're a rhino or a wino.

Well, so the inmates really are in charge of the asylum.

Oh, Suzanne.

Believe me, I'm proud of the way you haven't been disheartened by those who

murmur that you've sacrificed your femininity to your ambition.

Actually, Sue Ann, I haven't heard anyone murmur that.

Then I'm the first.

Of course, meanwhile, the man you supplanted is sitting alone in the bar

downstairs, destroying himself with cheap booze. How do you know that?

I just bought him a drink.

I'll just watch.

It should be fascinating to observe how the most important woman at station WJM

puts together a new show.

All right, you want to watch? Go ahead, watch.

Okay, Murray, I've decided we'll close with the baby rhino.

The baby rhino.

Hey, Mary.

You didn't authorize any wardrobe changes, did you? Oh, well, no, Gus, I

That is, Mel talked to me about them, and I said I would think about it.

consulting me? Holy cow, Mary, your director has to know about these things.

Well, there is nothing to know about yet, Gus. I mean, nothing definite has

decided. Oh, yes, it has.

He's got Ted wearing a black and white striped jacket, and he's putting

checkered pants on a weatherman. Oh, well, no, I never authorized that. Holy

Toledo, you can't use stripes.

They strobe on you, and checks bleed.

Well, see, all I said was that I wanted a different look. Well, you got it. Holy

Moses. Checks and stripes.

Bleeding and strobing.

All right, Mary, I'll put my foot down.

You all hear me? I'll put my foot down.

Suit yourself, Ted. It's your mouth.

Mary, I'm not plugging any of these radical women's lib groups.

Come on, there's nothing radical about the Daughters of the American

I love watching you do the news, Mary.

Okay, this is it.

His creepy camera pushes have mucked up my designs once too often.

Well, what seems to be the problem?

Mary, will you tell this fascist he just can't tear down a new piece of set just

because he doesn't like it? And will you tell this halfwit you can't use a

mirror on the set?

Is that so?

Is that so?

I saw a Fred Astaire picture last night, and it was nothing but mirrors.

Mirrors, as far as the eye could see.

I think I saw that picture.

Isn't that the one where he danced?

Holy... This is a live TV show. A mirror would reflect the cameras.

I adore watching you do the news, Mary.

Cool it.

That's right, all of you, just cool it. This is neither the time nor the place

to discuss this. Now, for today...

Everything's going to stay the way it is. Tomorrow morning, we'll have a

production meeting here at 11 o 'clock.

You bring the designs and sketches, which I will discuss with you, okay?

Okay? Okay.

And if you want to come and watch, you come and watch. Any questions?

It's not the way Lou would have handled it.

Mary, Ted wants you to handle it the way Lou would have handled it.

Ted, how'd you like me to punch your face out?

And I'm telling you, the greatest college football team of all time was

1944.

Nebraska, 1972.

How can you say that, fella? Army had the greatest backfield it ever was.

Nebraska, 1972.

Hi. Hello.

Blanchard, Davis, Tucker, huh?

Nebraska, 1972.

Oh, nothing, thank you. I just... Thought I'd come by and tell you that

everything is okay in the newsroom.

Oh, good.

Look at the record.

Unbeaten, untied, beat Notre Dame 59 to nothing, six All -Americans.

I mean, I knew you'd be anxious to know that.

Yeah, yeah. Glenn Davis set a touchdown record that still stands.

And that's while he was dating Elizabeth Taylor.

I knew you wanted to know, because, I mean, it is the first time that I

Ran the whole show myself.

Yeah. Nebraska, 1972.

I mean, 1944.

So, I'm really glad that I was able to set your mind at ease.

Yeah, yeah, thanks.

That's nice.

So, everything's all right, huh?

Yeah, I do say so myself. Everything is all right.

You're not, for example, having trouble with Rollins?

No, no.

Who's Rollins?

Your sound engineer.

I thought you might be having some problems. No, no. Everything's fine.

fine. Glad to hear that, Mary. Yeah.

I am managing to get the news on without a hitch.

Good for you, Mary.

Thanks.

Mr. Grant, why did you think I might be having trouble with Rollins?

Just a hunch.

Okay.

Mary.

Yeah.

That's Rollins.

And the Clean Air Committee praised Twin Cities

residents for leaving private cars at home and making the quick transit bus

program a big success.

Why does Ted keep frowning? Well, he's mad at me because I wouldn't work any of

his vocabulary words into the copy.

It's wonderful, Mary.

It's the best newscast I ever saw. Oh, thanks, Georgette.

I hope they rerun it.

And now a sad item.

Monsignor Walter O 'Rourke is dead at 87.

Until his retirement in 1958, Monsignor O 'Rourke served the Twin Cities

Diocese, where he was much beloved.

Let me just say this.

I didn't know the Monsignor personally, but I'll bet you he was never a

lethargic, red -headed bellicose or a...

This is Ted Baxter saying good

night and good news.

At least he pronounced them right.

Never mind, never mind. Here comes the good part.

Produced by Mary Richardson.

Is that the first time you've seen that? No, but it's the first time I believed

it. Congratulations, Mayor.

Aw, thanks, Murr.

Maybe I should have shaken your hands. I hardly ever hug Lou. No, I like the

hugging. I am very impressed.

It was a great show, a perfect show, except for that one moment when Ted was

reading the basketball scores and a voice from the sound booth yelled,

1972.

Well, Mayor, what did you think of my performance?

Ted, Mary produced tonight's show, and she would like your opinion.

Fair enough. Mary, I thought I was great.

Thank you, Ted.

I wonder what Mr. Grant thought if he watched the show. Oh, Murr, I hope he

watched the show. Well, you know, Lou, if he liked it, he won't say a word.

That's his highest praise.

Nonsense, Murr.

When I come off a newscast, he talks my ear off.

Congratulations, Mary.

Come in.

Um, Mr. Grant, maybe I'm pressing my luck, but, uh, what do you think?

About the show?

Yeah. What do you want me to say? It was great?

Sure.

Mary?

great newscast.

In 1966, I was working at a radio station in Chicago where there was this

smart aleck broadcaster.

On election night, the other guys decided to fix him.

As he started to read the returns, two of the guys took off his pants and set

fire to them.

And Mary, I watched while that man broadcast those returns perfectly.

Now, that's a great newscast.

And you just let that happen? You didn't help him?

Sure, I helped him blow out his pants.

Hey, what I'm saying is, don't expect superlatives from me.

Anyway, producer, what do you care what I think?

Your opinion is the only one that should be important to you.

You're right.

You are absolutely right.

And you want to know what I think? I think I did a great job.

I think I did a terrific job.

Then that's all that matters, isn't it? Right you are.

Mr.

Grant, what did you think of the show?

It didn't stink.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Grant.

How about this?

We open on military scenes, tanks, guns, planes, and cut to me in a khaki flak

jacket. Ted, we are not going to change the opening of the show.

Anyhow, I bet Ted can't say khaki flak jacket three times fast.

I don't know why I waste my time on childish people.

Khaki flak jacket, khaki flak jacket, khaki flak jacket.

Hey, Mary.

This is a big night.

The first time you've produced a show all by yourself.

Right. Yeah.

That's a cause for celebration.

Hey, it is.

I think I'll go have a drink.