Original subtitles

Who can turn the world on with her smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should know it.

With each glance and every little movement you show it. Love is all alone,

need to waste it. You can never tell, why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all.

I'm sorry I'm late, Lou, but you know how fans can hold you up. Yeah, it took

Ted hours to find one.

Okay, we should have had this meeting long ago.

Our newscasts have gotten pretty static.

I want to do something new, something different, something that's never been

done before.

So, I have decided to hire a lady to do a short editorial segment on the show

every evening.

You mean like Kathy Daniels at WKGW?

Yeah, something like that.

She'll do special interest items. And Sylvia McMahon over at Channel 6. On

order. Yeah, yeah.

Uh, to broaden our appeal. And what's that girl's name at Channel 3 and 11?

Broaden our appeal.

Broaden our appeal and make our news more Christian.

Why would we want to make our news more Christian, Tim? Martha Christian. She's

doing a three and a half.

All right, all right. So it's been done before.

That doesn't make it a bad idea.

News from the woman's point of view.

Well, Lou, why can't I do it?

means is that a woman will provide additional insight without taking away

your own unique and invaluable qualities.

Do you have any particular woman in mind, Lou? No.

We'll hold auditions next week. Mary puts some ads in the paper, that sort of

thing. Any particular qualifications?

Well, she doesn't have to have a lot of experience in television, but she should

be attractive like you, Mary.

I'm sure you should be about Mary's age.

Bright, well -dressed like Mary.

Well, why not just ask Mary?

Nah, she's wrong for it.

Okay, that about wraps up the meeting.

Okay, I'll get on this right away. Yeah, I want to help Mary screen the

candidates.

Say, Lou.

Lou, how much are you paying her?

Don't worry, Ted. It's going to be less than what you make, around $15 ,000.

It's worth it to give the show a new look.

Lou, I could give you that new look and save you five big ones.

What are you talking about?

For $10 ,000, I'll grow a beard.

Get out of my office.

I want a mustache for five. Ted!

Come on, Lou, give me a break.

Sideburns for two?

Ted, you just listened to me describe the kind of woman we're looking for.

In that entire description, did you hear anything about a beard, a mustache, a

sideburn? I'm just trying to help, Lou.

Don't slam the door, Ted.

I'll pluck my eyebrows for $100 now.

Who is it?

George R.

Come on in.

Hi, Mary. Hi.

I hope I'm not disturbing you.

Please tell me if I am.

No, you're not disturbing me. I'm not sure you'd tell me if I were.

Because you'd think you might embarrass me. And rather than embarrass me, you

wouldn't say anything.

You're so nice and patient and kind.

You wouldn't say anything, would you?

Well, I don't know. Uh, maybe.

Thank you.

But I don't want to disturb you. George, yeah.

Come here.

You're not disturbing me. I'm all yours.

What can I do for you?

Oh, sorry. Three minutes are up.

Can I have three?

to you about the lady newscaster.

Ted sent you, didn't he? No, he brought me.

He's downstairs in the car, but you're not supposed to know.

Okay, I don't. So don't ask why doesn't he come up. Won't.

It's lucky you have two chairs that far apart.

this lady newscaster.

Please don't laugh.

But we want me to be her.

You want to audition for the job?

Absolutely.

Cross my heart. I swear.

Really? No.

I told Ted I'm not a very good liar.

Ted wants you to audition?

Yes. That just doesn't sound like Ted. When he heard how much the salary was.

sent me over here to butter you up.

But don't think that that's why I said I like the way you stuffed your hat.

I do. I like the way you stuffed your hat.

Thank you. Richard, I just can't believe that you'd want to audition for that

job. But I don't. That's what I told Ted.

I said, Ted, I don't want to audition.

And he said, why not?

And I said, that's just not me.

And he said, then who is it? And I said, Mary.

Me? You'd be perfect, Mary.

You're just what you're looking for.

No, Georgette, come on. I'm a behind -the -scenes person.

Although, I did do that editorial once, and I wasn't bad, was I?

No, I didn't. You really think I should try out for the job?

Yes, really.

I said, Ted, I don't want to audition.

And he said, why not?

And I said, that's just not me. And he said, then who is it?

paired with one or two minutes of news coffee.

Well, no, it doesn't matter. Just anything that's comfortable.

All right, fine. We'll see you then. Bye -bye. A lot of girls interested in

auditioning? Ah, dozens.

Hey, Murr. Hmm? You remember what you said in the meeting yesterday?

No.

Yeah, come on. Sure you do. You said some silly thing about hiring me for the

job. Oh, yeah.

Except Mary.

But you want to know why I didn't say hello, Mary?

No, Ted.

All right, I'll tell you why.

The reason I didn't say hello is I think it's pretty low.

When a person asks a friend to go to another friend to do the first friend a

favor and the second friend tears the first friend's heart out. Oh, Ted,

Georgette doesn't want the job. She doesn't think she has the talent.

Oh, that's ridiculous.

What talent does it take?

Hey, wait a minute, Ted. Wait a minute.

You don't think that job requires a certain amount of skill?

No, I don't.

I mean, you feel that any fool can do it?

That's right, just about any fool.

Let me get this straight, then. Now, you are saying that any half -wit, half

-wit, could just walk in here and read the news?

That's right, just about any half -wit.

But don't you bother to audition for the job, Marie. Lou wants a girl.

I got you! I got you! I got you! I did it!

I got him! I got him! I finally did it!

I just lost the duel of wits to an unarmed opponent.

Oh, uh, Mr. Grant, do you have a minute? No. Oh, well, I'll just take a moment,

then. I don't have a moment, Marie. All right, very quickly, then.

Mr. Grant, you remember that on -the -air editorial I did? Yes.

Well, I wasn't bad, was I?

No, Mary, you weren't.

Come in.

Mr. Grant, you remember yesterday you said you were looking for a girl like me

for the newscaster job?

Mm -hmm.

Well, I'm a girl like me.

In fact, I'm probably the girl most like me I know.

Mary, don't you think you were the first one I thought of for the job?

Well, then why didn't you let me audition for it? Well, because I'm

hurt you if you auditioned and I had to tell you I was giving the job to someone

else. I just couldn't bear hurting your feelings that much, Mary.

Oh, Mr. Grant.

And I really think you'd stink.

Look, try to imagine that it was me who was trying to be a newscaster and you

had to tell me that, no, that's Al Rodney. Sample. I'd be terrific.

It's not going to break my heart if I don't get the job. And it certainly

wouldn't be the first disappointment I've had in life.

Yeah? Yeah, I've had plenty of disappointments. Like what?

Well... Of course, things have been pretty good lately.

All right.

When I was in high school, I ran for the president of my senior class.

Boy, I painted posters. I made speeches. I campaigned. for months.

Then you lost.

No, I won, but not by nearly as much as I thought I would.

But I got over it eventually.

Excuse me.

Sir, Mr. Grant, all I'm asking for is the chance to audition, just like

else.

Oh, okay, okay. You can put your name on the list. Oh, Mr. Grant, thank you.

So I was right.

Hmm? She did want that job for herself. I never would have believed she'd be so

sly, so cunning, so ambitious.

Intriguing behind the backs of her very best friends.

And all for an extra few thousand dollars a year.

She's my kind of woman.

Thank you, Mr. Baxter.

Mr. Baxter.

Thank you, Ted.

Thanks, Ted.

Thank you, Ted.

Excuse me, Ted.

Who is it?

It's you, Anne, dear.

Well, what a nice surprise.

I happen to be in the neighborhood.

Doing what?

I love this apartment.

I love what you've done to it.

I haven't done anything to it. I know.

That's your guts.

I would chill for a cup of coffee. That's why I'm going to offer you one.

Mary, I'll tell you why I'm here.

I have decided to audition for that woman's point of view spot on your show.

In fact, I've already prepared what I think is a very solid piece of copy on

recent mudslides in Alaska.

How do you take it?

Very serious.

I'm into coffee.

Coffee experts agree a good cup of coffee should always be savored just as

comes from the pot. Hot, rich, and black.

I just have a little cream and sugar.

Why do you want to be on our show?

You're the happy homemaker.

Yes. And the happy homemaker is very unhappy.

About what?

I have done that show every day since July 1963.

You know what that means, Mary?

It means I've been smiling for 11 years.

I never thought of it that way.

I want a job where I don't have to smile. I don't like smiling all the

depends on my nature.

Sue Ann, you're smiling.

through the motions.

Oh, well, Sue Ann, come on. Everyone feels that way about her job sometimes.

But I can't pretend anymore.

I've cooked it all.

I've eaten it all.

I've cleaned it, trimmed it, and stuffed it twice.

Gee, I can sympathize. Menominee has turned me into a bitter, spiteful

Oh, I know you haven't noticed, but it has.

that way, Mary.

I want to be a nice person.

And with your help, I'm going to be a nice person.

And changing jobs is the first step.

Well, Sue Ann, that puts me in a sort of an awkward position, see, because I'm

going to try out for the job, too.

wouldn't point out the dubious ethics of an associate producer auditioning for

her own show.

A really nice person wouldn't use phrases like undue influence or conflict

interest or a two -bit double -crossing think.

Now, just a minute, Sue Ann. In the language of the newsroom, that's an

allegation. I have no more influence over the audition than anybody else.

Mary, dear.

In the language of the kitchen, that's a crop.

And thus, the repercussions of an upsurging inflationary spiral are as

inevitable as they are catastrophic.

You better believe it.

And very well put, incidentally.

That was a woman's point of view.

Okay. Thank you. Bring in the next girl.

That was just awful, wasn't it? I hated myself. I was just awful. No.

You weren't. You were fine. Thank you.

How was I, Lou?

Just awful.

Good morning, Lou.

Oh, good morning, Sue Ann.

Ted will brief you.

Sue Ann?

Park it over here.

That's the camera. When the red light goes on, that means that the camera is

about... Ted, I know what I'm doing.

Just cue me and then stick a sock in it.

a woman's point of view, Sue Ann Nivet. Thank you very much, Ted.

And good evening.

Massive mudslides wreak havoc.

Late last evening, huge mudslides in south -central Alaska buried the

picturesque little village of Nornske, long noted for its tapestries and woolly

artifacts.

Apple -cheeked housewives bustling down the cobbled streets.

was swept away by slithering mounds of mud.

Let's all hope that survivors remembered that stubborn grime can be removed with

a blend of... and cornstarch.

Victims plucked gagging from the slime were treated at the high school gym,

stunningly decorated for that night's...

and chickens circulated among the injured passing out hand -embroidered

towels.

Hot soup, always a nourishing basic, was ladled from a tureen concealed inside a

huge pink papier -mâché pig.

And now, back to Ted.

Thank you. Enid Berenger, The Twin Cities.

And that was A Woman's Point of View.

Mary? Uh, listen, Ted, I can wait. Why don't you let someone else go first?

You're the last one, Mary. Oh, well, maybe someone else would like to do it

again. Oh, come on.

Oh, why do I get myself into this?

Mary?

You're nervous.

Yeah, I am.

Listen, listen, you've got nothing to worry about if you trust me.

Okay?

Because, Mary, I'm on your side.

I want you to win.

Now do you trust me?

No, of course not.

Listen.

I know how to please an audience.

When I read the news, that camera is a person to me, the most wonderful

person in the world.

I caress it with my eyes.

My mouth may be saying, the cost of living went up 8 .1%, but my eyes are

singing, be my love.

Just pretend the camera's your lover. Make love to it with your eyes.

And now a woman's point of view with Mary Richards.

Thank you, Ted.

It's been ten years since Congress passed the 1964 Civil Rights Act.

Eyes, eyes.

One of the five agencies of the...

You're going to give Mary another try?

What for?

She wasn't good, Murray.

I wish she had been. I wish she'd been terrific, but she tried twice and she

wasn't. I know, but she was nervous.

Just don't know how I'm going to break it to her.

You wouldn't like to, would you?

Sorry, Lou. I'm no good at breaking bad news.

I still haven't told Marie I'm going bald.

You wanted to see me, Mr. Grant?

Oh, yeah, Enid.

Um, welcome to the news team.

Welcome to the... Does that mean I got the job?

Mm -hmm.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Grant. Uh, no, no, Enid, uh, Enid. One of the first things

you'll want to learn about this job is no hugging.

We're not a hugging newsroom. Some staffs hug, we don't.

Tell you what, you go on down to personnel, tell them you're starting

and fill out all forms.

Right away.

Thank you, Mr. Grant. You'll like personnel. They hug.

So, Mr. Grant, any decision?

Not yet.

Well, I wasn't rushing you. Just, you know, wondered if there was any kind of

decision.

Mary, I haven't made the decision yet because...

You're going to make it.

Your second take was very good.

Oh, Mr. Grant, thank you. I was still a little nervous. Very good.

But there's one other tape I want you to look at. It's between you and this

girl. Now, you watch and you tell me.

Point of view, Enid Berringer. Thank you, Mr. Baxter.

I would like to give you the woman's point of view.

But I'm having a problem trying to figure out exactly what the woman's

view is. I mean, do all women think alike?

Do Bella Apsug and Connie Stevens think of exactly the same thing when they get

up in the morning?

Okay, maybe when they first get up in the morning, but after that, I don't

so. And I don't think girls are made of sugar and spice anymore. Those things

cost too much money.

But if WJM is interested in hearing my point of view... I would be very happy

try and give it to them. Thank you. Enid Berringer, Twin Cities.

Okay,

Mary, there you go.

It's between you and Enid.

I'll go with whatever you decide.

Now, who do you think should get the job?

Well, Mr. Grant, that's a really tough decision, isn't it?

But...

I have to go with me.

What?

Mary, Enid gave a great audition. Yes, she did. Excellent, excellent audition.

Maybe even better than mine. I mean, how many times can she go out there and say

that? Say what?

That there's no such thing as a woman's point of view. I mean, that's a cute

idea. Really cute, really cute.

What's she going to do the next night?

And besides that, Mr. Grant, I've got the newsroom experience.

You know an audition isn't everything.

I mean, she was good, really, really fine.

But I think all the factors considered, I've got to go with me.

Mary, come in.

Oh, hi, Mary.

Hi.

Mr. Grant, it's all set.

I went down to personnel.

I told them I'd start Monday. And thank you again. I won't let you down.

All right.

All right.

I lied.

I'm sorry.

I was trying to spare your feelings.

Well, you don't have to spare my feelings, Mr. Grant.

Okay. Okay.

Look.

Look, Mary.

Look. Now you look.

It wasn't between the two of you.

You didn't finish second.

You finished fourth.

Fourth?

That's why I couldn't tell you the truth right out. Fourth?

I didn't want to hurt you.

Fourth?

Sixth.

Gee, I was so excited, I forgot to ask what time I come in Monday. Well, 10 o

'clock will be fine. Thanks.

Oh, Enid, listen, I'm really glad you got the job. I thought you were just

terrific. Congratulations.

Thanks, Mary.

Mary, that's really nice of you to say, because I know you auditioned, and I'm

sure you must be disappointed.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. I never really expected to get the job at all.

I'm a behind -the -scenes person.

I really just did it for the fun of it, you know.

I really want the job.

Mary, do you want to go have a drink?

Yeah, I would like to.

Good night, Mary.

Good night. Oh, hi, Mr. Baxter. Do you remember me?

Sure, you're the black one.