Original subtitles

Who can turn the world on with her smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should know it.

With each glance and every little movement you show it. Love is all alone,

need to waste it. You can never tell, why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all.

You're gonna make it after all.

Good evening. This is Ted Baxter and now here is the news.

Good evening.

This is Ted Baxter and now here is the news.

Good evening.

This is the first time you've been to my dressing room, isn't it? Yeah.

Would you like me to show you around?

No, I don't think so.

Over here, I call this my picture wall.

Uh -huh.

To one of the best darn newsmen in the business, Pope John XXIII.

Yeah, that little guy was really aces.

Ted, listen, I find that picture a little hard to believe, you know. Why?

watch the news.

Oh, there's my game table.

Yeah, you see? Chinese checkers.

Monopoly.

Parcheesi. I work hard and I play hard, Rhoda.

I'm going to get to work now, Ted, huh? Right.

Because I don't have a lot of time.

Here. These are some of the sketches that I made up for some of the ads you

to run. Come in.

I want you to pick. Ted, here's the editorial for tonight's show. Thanks,

Oh. Hi, kid.

attractive people would be doing alone in my dressing room.

Ted. I'm only kidding, Rhoda. Ted, never.

Don't.

Ever, kid.

About a thing like that. Ever.

Ever. Ever again.

Do you understand?

Yeah. Yeah. Good.

Mary, we're working. You're working? On what?

My campaign to win this year's Teddy Awards as best newscaster in

Yeah. Ted paid me to draw up some sketches, you know, for ads, for

I'm not taking any chances this year. I'm going to buy the award.

Ted, you can't bribe the judges.

Mary, I know you can't bribe the judges.

I tried that last year.

But I figured out finally how to win.

How are you going to do that?

Sit down. I'll explain it to you.

Now, each year the television people will give out an award for the best

newscaster in Minneapolis -St. Paul, right?

Right. But it's certainly not based on talent. If it were, I would have won

years ago.

No, Mary.

It's all a popularity contest.

So this year, I'm starting a publicity campaign to win the award.

I'm going to take out ads. That's what Rhoda's helping me with.

I'm going to emcee their annual dinner. I'm going to throw cocktail parties for

them. I'm going to visit hospitals, old age homes, daycare centers.

Every stupid thing I can think of. I'll win this thing.

I'll make those guys love me.

Once you're beloved, they have to give you the award.

And you're helping him.

Everybody has their price.

$98 an hour.

I lost that award six years in a row, Mary.

Learn my lesson.

The scales have fallen from my eyes.

This year's going to be different. I know I'm going to win because I am a man

with a vision.

You can't stop me.

And you can't stop a man who you can't stop.

They could stop you. Ted, don't build your hopes up. The reason they're not

going to stop me this time is because I'm a man with a vision.

A man with a vision.

I don't think anybody's left a room like that since Joan of Arc.

In reply to that question, a white horse souse announced today...

White House source.

And do you know that he actually expects to win the Teddy Award?

He says that every year.

No, no, Murray, this year it's different. You should have seen him. He

a man possessed.

Well, I hope he's not too possessed.

The only exorcist for Ted would be Ronald McDonald.

I'm curious.

I mean, look at him, Murray. I'm telling you, there's something different about

him. And all my friends, at this time, instead of my...

Murray, you better tell Mr. Grant.

Indeed, when we consider the turmoil and unrest in the world today, what would

be a more fitting way to end the news tonight or any other night than to plead

with the man upstairs?

Come in.

Lou? What is it?

Well, I hate to tell you this, Lou, but somebody's got to tell you, and...

Might as well be me. Tell me what?

Well, you know how it is, Lou.

Sometimes people confuse the guy who brings the bad news with the bad news

itself. You know what I... No.

Well, like years from now, it is possible that the only thing you'll

about this whole unfortunate incident is the fact that I was the one who brought

it to your attention.

Murray, will you please tell me what is going on? Promise me you won't hold it

against me, Lou. I promise, I promise. What is it?

Ted is praying on the air.

Now let us bow our heads in prayer.

Heavenly Father, this is Ted Baxter.

We thank thee for thy blessings which thou hast bestowed upon us, great

and give us now thy spirit to inspire us in these most difficult and perilous

times. Grant us thy protection, thy guidance, and thy love.

Amen. And thanks for listening.

Why is he praying?

Did the ratings come out?

Mr. Grant, I think it may have something to do with his campaign to win the

Teddy Award.

Murray, go get Father Baxter and tell him I want to see him right now. Yeah,

right.

Murray, I'm going to fire him.

You can't fire him. Oh, no, just watch me. Mr. Grant, you can't fire a man for

praying on the air.

They'll get you for it.

We think he's stupid, but he's smarter than all of us.

What am I going to do with him? I don't know. Maybe if you just reason with him,

he won't do it again.

No, no, no, no, no. I'm too angry to reason. You better stay. You reason with

him. When I get like this, all I can do is kill.

You want to see me, Lou?

Ted? Ted, I think Mr. Grant would like you to have a seat.

Ted, I'm going to kill you.

for it if you didn't pray on the news anymore.

Oh? Why is that, Lou?

Ted, I'm gonna kill you.

Ted, you see, there is a time and a place for everything, and the news is

not the place for prayers.

Lou, you wouldn't want to get around town if you don't like God.

Ted, look, it isn't Mr. Grant's rule. It's, uh, it's the station's ruling, and

you don't want to see Mr. Grant get in trouble. Trouble, too, yeah. Yeah.

Okay, yes, all right, I'll accept that.

Okay, Lou, no more prayers, I promise.

Good, good, good, good, good. Besides, I've got a better way to win the news

tomorrow.

I'll return a lost dog to some little kid.

Yeah, that'll be good for my image.

Ted Baxter reunites boy with puppy.

Right on the news.

Where are you going to find the puppy?

We'll steal it from a kid.

who isn't going to be there when Ted loses.

Well, what's so great about seeing Ted lose?

Oh, Andy, it's not that it's so great. It's just that, well, you want to be

there.

I mean, like the first dinner that Ted lost and I was there, he was so

depressed, he threatened to throw himself on a shish kebab sword.

You're kidding. No, I'm not.

And last year when he lost again, he got so angry, Mr. Grant had to pull Ted's

tongue out of his throat to keep him from swallowing it.

It's really sharp.

Sharp? Yeah. I hate these award dinners. They stink.

There's only one thing I hate worse than an award dinner, and that's an award

dinner where I have to pull someone's tongue out of his throat.

Oh, and I'm not going to be there.

Wait, Marie.

No, she won't come. She refuses to see Ted lose again.

I, on the other hand, look forward to it.

Marie, you got her ticket?

Yeah. Would you want to use it? Yes, I would. Really. Be all right? Sure.

Tonight, tonight, won't be just any night.

Come on, everybody, let's hurry.

I don't want to be late tonight.

It's like Custer saying, come on, you guys, or we're going to miss the

Hey, just wait for me. One second, I'll be... Where's she going? Well, Rhoda's

going to the dinner with us. It's just going to change. Oh, sure, let her take

her time. Who cares if we miss the awards ceremony?

Who cares if my life is wrecked? He doesn't mean that.

Actually, he'd be really upset if his life was wrecked.

Pressure tonight, huh, Georgette?

It's not always easy loving a man who has a vision.

Yeah. Where is she? Will someone tell me what we're waiting for?

Rhoda, Ted's going crazy. Yeah, I'll just be just one minute.

Oh, sure. Let's just wait for Rhoda. Better yet, let's forget about the

and stay here tonight.

We got one break tonight. They didn't serve shish kebab on a sword.

And it's hard for Ted to commit suicide by throwing himself on a broiled

chicken.

Mary, your category's next.

Good luck, Mary.

Thanks, Georgette.

You know, Mary, I just realized something.

If you win an award, it might hurt my chances.

I don't see how.

Well, the judges may not want to give them a GM2 award. That's how.

And now for the best documentary, A Comet Named Kahootek, Jay Rudnick,

Chimps and What They Can Teach Us, Mary Richards, producer.

Good luck, Mary. I hope you win, kids.

Yeah, lots of luck, Mary.

Watergate, Tempest in a Teapot Dome.

Ross Nelson, 6 o 'clock report, WLNT.

And Art Clements, the news at 6, WSRX.

One drop of approval.

Tiny little pat on the back.

think I slapped him too hard, do you?

Mr. Van, I think you slapped him just right.

You know that spot where Ted was crying?

Nothing will ever grow there again.

Did you ever see so many tears in your life? Once, when I told my mother I'd

stop saving myself for the right man.

Perchance CBS will be looking for a co -anchorman for Cronkite.

Perchance NBC will be looking for a replacement for John Chancellor.

Or perchance it's an ad agency looking for a new tidy -ball man.

But whatever the call, I know it's going to happen. I know it. You know, I know

it because I'm a man with a vision.

Say, Mary, where's your tape recorder?

In the desk.

Why? Hold it, sweetheart. Don't let anybody touch it.

I want each of you who are with me tonight to record your thoughts at this

historical moment.

It'll be like...

Like my time capsule.

Useful now I can dig it up and know exactly what happened that fateful night

that destiny took me by the hand.

Too bad we can't keep the tape and bury Ted.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the night that Ted Baxter won the Teddy Award.

Mary, tell us exactly what you said to yourself the moment you heard that Ted

Baxter won his first Teddy Award.

The moment I heard?

Well, I guess I said to myself, son of a gun, the man bought himself an award.

It's so touching.

And now, let's talk to the producer of WGM 6 o 'clock news, Lou

Grant. Will you say a few words to our listening audience, Lou?

I'm sorry I... I had to slap you so hard.

All right.

And now, let's hear from this young lady.

Could you tell us, how do you feel, please?

Well, when you won the award, I was so proud.

I'm so glad that you're successful and everyone respects you so much.

But a little nervous that now you've got... Not until where you are, you

not want someone like me for your girlfriend.

That's just the kind of thing I want to hear.

Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, that was Henda Spurgeon.

No calls, no telegraphs, no offers, nothing.

I spent over $4 ,100 for this thing and nothing.

I could have bought a lot of things for $4 ,100.

Right. You could have saved your money until you could have bought an Oscar.

You know, sometimes I don't believe I won anything.

Maybe it's all a dream.

It can't be a dream because I'm holding this.

Maybe I'm dreaming now.

Mary, tell me I'm not dreaming. Tell me I really won.

Yes, Ted, you won, you won, you won.

Thank you. For a minute I thought there was something wrong with the old

upstairs.

Mary, what's wrong?

I mean, everything's the same. I won an award.

I mean, something should be better.

I'll call my answering service. Probably there's some calls.

Mary, come here.

Mary, you won't believe who I think I just saw coming down that hall.

Who? I don't know. It's crazy. It couldn't be him. Mary, who? Look for

if he was headed this way.

Well, I read in the paper that he was going to give a lecture at the

Maybe he knows Lou.

Yes, he does. Mr. Grant said they met during the war.

Now, the big question is, where do I sit so I get the best view of this historic

moment when he and me...

Excuse me, could you tell me where I could find Lou Grant? Yeah, he's right

there.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Can't go in there without an appointment.

Hey, Ed.

I think he's expecting me.

Walter! Lou!

That's Walter.

Walter?

Fronkite. I thought you said you were good friends.

Fine. Never said we were good friends. I only said that we'd never met.

Anyway, he came just like I said he would. He wants me. He wants me to work

him. Ted, don't get your hopes up too high. He might be here just to see Mr.

Grant. Well, sure he's going to see Lou. He's got to see Lou. I'm still on the

contract here.

You don't think Lou's going to stand in my way, do you?

Not a chance.

What a team we'll make.

Mary,

I'd like you to meet someone.

This is our associate producer, Mary Richards, Walter Cronkite.

Nice to meet you.

Really.

Nice.

Nice.

Really.

And this is our head writer, Murray Slaughter, Walter Cronkite.

So nice to meet you.

I'd be saying this.

Ted Baxter, Walter Cronkite.

It's an honor to meet you, Mr. Cronkite.

Call me Walter.

So, Walt, let's talk shop.

Say, what words do you have trouble pronouncing?

award -winning newscast?

I'm afraid I didn't. I remember most of it.

Good evening, this is Ted Baxter.

Energy Czar announces economic crackdown. This story and others after

commercial message.

I think we'd better be going, don't you? And now, the sports.

In hockey, the North Stars 3, the Kings 0.

I put that in there.

So, what do you think, Walt?

I think I'd better be getting to the airport.

news on the way.

It's going to get you for this.

Oh, Murray, why couldn't I have said something entertaining and witty when we

were introduced?

Why couldn't I have said something other than nice?

I should have said nice.

Eleven times.

I thought what you said was terrific.

Maybe that's why I said exactly the same thing.

Worst cab ride I ever took.

Ted did the news the whole time. And the cab driver kept trying to turn off his

radio.

I don't understand it, Lou. I don't understand it. I thought you wanted me

to New York with you.

I'm sorry, Ted.

No one wanted that more than I did.

But he told me I could call him Walter. I heard him. Did you hear him say that?

Didn't he say I could call him Walter?

Yes, Ted.

I mean, I didn't make that up. Walter Cronkite stood right here and said, you

could call me Walter.

Didn't he, Mary? Didn't he say that? Yes, Ted, he did. He said that. He did.

All right.

That's a beginning. It's a start. The seed's been planted.

He may not want me now. He may not want me tomorrow. But you wait. You'll see.

He'll call me.

I know he's going to call me. You know why I know he's going to call me?

Because you're a man with a vision?

No.

Because I swiped his pipe.