Original subtitles

Who can turn the world on with her smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should know it.

With each glance and every little movement you show it, love is all

need to waste it. You can never tell, why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all

I'm going to rescue you from whatever it is you're doing because tonight is the

last night of the Paul Newman, Robert Redford movie.

Both of them, Mary, together in the same picture. Two fantasies for the price of

one. No.

Don't tempt me, Rhoda. I can't. Mary, please. You're not hearing me now.

Newman, Redford, you, me.

You can have first choice. I'll take leftovers.

Rhoda, I'd love to, but I can't. I've got to bring our obituary file up to

Obituary file? Yeah, you know, the ones that we do in advance so that if

somebody suddenly dies, then Ted doesn't just have to hum taps.

And I will never get it finished by tomorrow morning. Okay, okay, okay.

You got me. What do you mean?

Oh, Mary, please. You think I don't recognize that old routine?

Sure. That's the famous get -the -other -person -to -help -you -write

-obituaries ruse.

Works every time.

So, what letter are we up to here?

A.

I am exhausted.

Mary, where are those terrific cookies?

You know, the ones with all the big blob, that really great stuff?

Oh, we finish those at one.

How about those other not -so -terrific cookies with the one little blob of the

not -so -good stuff?

Oh, yeah, we finish those at two.

Well, have we got any of those little dry, nothing, no -taste crackers?

The ones that people buy because they figure, well, they're Norwegian.

We finish those at three.

Well, well, that must mean it is now exactly a quarter.

to Melba Toast.

You know, this is only funny because it's four in the morning, right? And we

punchy. Now, Mary, look, let's get organized here. We have got to finish.

I know. I mean, be serious. All right, okay, all right, organized. Yes, indeed,

serious.

Mary, I'm surprised at you. You have got to get this finished. Okay. I mean,

that wasn't funny.

But this is.

W. We're up to the Ws.

Welch, Raquel. Raquel Welch. Raquel Welch. Oh, this is going to be easy.

Raquel Welch is a bitch, you're very sure. Okay.

One thing for positive.

We know she didn't drown.

There were other citizens of Minneapolis who were older.

citizens of Minneapolis who are older.

Tell me it wasn't yours. Well, actually, Mr. Grant, yes.

That was yours. I see. It was yours.

You better be here first thing in the morning. Mr. Grant? First thing in the

morning, Mary.

I can't believe it. I just don't believe it. Yeah?

I don't think you should kid around with a guy's obituary.

I mean, what's Swee Willie's mom going to say?

never seen Mr. Grant the way he was last night.

I mean, I've seen him yell. I've seen him be sarcastic.

I've never seen him be so mad that he couldn't talk.

Mary, do you think everything's going to be all right? Sure.

I'd bet Ted's life on it.

Can I see you a minute, Mary?

What I wanted to say, well,

it isn't exactly an excuse.

Mary, there's no excuse for what happened. You're right, you're right. Of

course, there is no excuse, but there is a, well, a sort of explanation. Mary,

there's no explanation for what happened. That's true, I know, I know.

well, there's a kind of a half reason.

Mary, there's no reason for what happened.

Maybe,

maybe you'll understand what I'm about to do if I tell you a little story.

Yes, Mr. Grant, yes.

It's about this newsman.

It's a story that every newsman has heard.

Uh -huh. Yeah.

Well, when I was on the paper... Hmm.

When I was on the paper in Detroit, there was this rewrite man. Uh -huh.

Quiet guy.

Played chess at lunch, you know, that kind of guy. Yeah, yeah.

Well, what he'd do was, on the basketball game scores,

they'd put the name of the referee in

tiny type that nobody would ever read.

Well, he'd put in a dirty word in Latin.

a few doctors would have a good laugh.

Well, Mary, he was 64 years old.

He had five months to go to his pension, and they found out, and they fired him.

Don't you see, Mary?

They had to.

It was just a little joke to him, but they had to fire him.

Because you can take any liberty you want in any other area.

You can kid around all you want.

But the news is sacred.

If it was anybody else, I wouldn't have this problem as to what to do. But it's

you. Well, Mr. Grant, I don't want any special treatment.

Well, this is the kind of thing they fire people for. Mr. Grant, I'd

any special treatment.

Mr. Grant?

Hey, Mr. Grant.

I, uh... I'm really sorry, Mary.

You have to be punished.

I've decided to put you on suspension.

Suspension? Two weeks without pay, effective now.

Oh, I see.

I'm... I'm really sorry.

Lou, do you know how long I've been waiting outside to talk to you about my

blazer?

Look at this.

Everybody freeze.

Ted,

I can't talk to you now.

Oh, Mary, you have time for it. Sure, sure.

Every time Mary says something, it's a big deal.

Oh, what is it? What is it? Mary find a new bow?

My new little outfit.

I need a new blazer.

Just passing by.

Granted you?

Well, that's ridiculous.

I mean, how can he treat you that way?

I mean, it's humiliating.

Mary, he's treating you like you're some kid who misbehaved in school.

Boy, does that kick me off.

I'm going to go in there and talk to him. No.

I'll do it.

Yeah?

May I speak to you, Mr. Grant?

Can't, Mary. You're on suspension.

Murray, and I can't allow myself to be treated like a kid who got caught

throwing spitballs in school.

Either you fire me or you keep me on, but I just cannot take any kind of

suspension, and if you do that, Mr. Grant, then I'm not coming back.

Mary, I thought about it overnight. Why don't you think about it? Well, no, I

don't have to think about it overnight. I'm not changing my mind.

Well... I'm not changing my mind.

Well... Well... Well, I guess that's that.

If that's your choice, Mary.

That's my choice.

Okay, then.

Did you tell him?

Yeah, I told him, and it turns out I'm not coming back.

You shouldn't have told him.

Don't worry, I'm glad I told him. Oh, Mary, I did this.

I mean, I got mad and you got fired.

No, look, Murray, I don't want to talk about it now. I'll call you later, okay?

Mary, I don't believe this has happened. Yeah, I know.

What is it?

Why are people saying each other's names?

Well, goodbye, Murray.

Goodbye.

Why is Mary saying goodbye? Why is she crying? Why is she walking toward the

door?

Why is she opening the door?

Why is she turning around and looking like a lost deer in the forest?

Why is she crying again? Although I asked the question before and nobody

answered why.

Murray, can I ask you a question?

Before I get a new blazer, should I change the color?

Why are you so upset?

Why don't you break the pencil?

Why am I hanging around here?

So, then he said that of all the women that he had interviewed, that I was

for the job. He said I was wonderful and I had a terrific personality.

I take that as a compliment, Mayor.

He said he thought we'd be too tempted. Can you imagine this drab, colorless,

married man, and he decides that we would be too tempted?

He shouldn't have said that.

Drab, colorless men don't have an easy time of it, but they've got to learn

consideration the same as other people.

You know, I just can't believe that this is happening, that I'm actually looking

for a job.

Thanks, Mary. I've lost enough.

You know, I felt so bad about starting that whole Raquel Welsh thing in the

first place. Oh, come on. So what I did was, I went to see Lou.

Oh, Rhoda, no.

You didn't. Rhoda, that was exactly the wrong thing to do.

What did he say?

Well, wait. No, wait. Let me get the coffee on. I don't want to be

Shall we?

Okay. Tell me everything.

Don't leave anything out. He wouldn't see me.

In that case, Mary, I'd like cream and sugar.

Well, I'll probably find out what Mr. Grant's thinking tomorrow.

Gonna have lunch with Murray.

He'll fill me in.

Oh, Mary, I feel so bad.

I wish you were in love.

Well, I don't think being in love would change anything.

Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to turn to somebody you love, truly love,

and be able to say, Oh, darling, I'm so miserable I could kill myself.

No, no chance. He's in the big meeting.

Oh, good, good.

Boy, you look just wonderful.

Oh, and the place looks just great, too.

Yeah. Oh, Murr.

I just know everything's going to work out all right. I just know it. No doubt

about it, Mayor.

Oh, excuse me. You're sitting in my chair.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Newsroom.

Yes, I'll have Mr. Grant take care of it right away.

Mary, this is Erica Jordan.

Erica, Mary Richards. Oh, hi.

How are you? Hello, Mary.

Hi.

I know how uncomfortable you both are.

Erica here knows how much we love Mary.

On the one hand, Mary's a friend, but on the other, Erica's new and needs my

guidance.

What'll I do?

How will I play it?

Well, um, excuse me.

Mary?

Very, very nice.

Oh, Mary.

Just so there's no misunderstanding, I'd like to explain something.

This thing with you and Lou, well, I'm really sick about it.

I mean, I really feel rotten for you. I really feel bad for you. I just want you

to know that I'm on your side. I'm on your corner.

Thank you, Ted. Thanks.

But you know how Lou is when he gets in one of his moods.

I figure there's no percentage in everybody suffering, everybody getting

head chopped off. You know what I mean?

So what I'm doing is...

Lou, but you and I know that I'm really behind you.

Got it?

Got it.

Mary, you didn't tell me you were coming in.

Oh, well, no, I was just, you know, going to just slip in and slip out, no

deal.

Well, hi.

Hello.

Look who come crawling back.

enough to eat anything.

Why don't you take a walk with us?

Oh, I can't, Murray.

Thanks anyway.

Nice to see you, Mary.

Oh, nice.

What did you think? How did it seem? Did it seem like it was softening at all? I

know how it seemed, like nothing has changed.

Well, look, I know you've got work to do, so I'll let you get to it.

Listen, you want to eat across the street or downstairs? Wherever they have

drink.

Oh, Murray, that was a terrific lunch.

Really good. Oh, you wanted your address book. Oh, right.

Hey, Mayor, you're going to be okay.

Yeah, I'm okay already.

Well, I'll tell you something, Murray, it's a relief, you know.

I'm glad you're taking it this way, ma 'am. Yeah, really, I'm fine.

Listen, give my love to Marie, will you? Yeah. And I'll call you really soon.

Okay. Okay, bye -bye. Bye, ma 'am.

I've never done anything like that before in my life.

I'm usually, you know, so in control of myself.

And then, boy, suddenly, I've just never done anything like that in my

life. Well, really, it's all right.

Thank you. Yeah, it's okay.

So, you want to come back?

Everybody mad at me for what I did to you. Going around giving me dirty looks,

glaring at me over their coffee cups.

Somebody came in here during the night and broke all my pencil points.

I don't know why they're all so mad at me.

What did I do? I mean, I missed you as much as anybody.

More.

And I miss you so much.

And I want to come back, but now I see it's too late.

sitting in my chair.

Oh, is there some other person sitting in your chair?

Erica, would you take something to personnel for me?

I've got to finish the last of these obituaries.

Listen, I'll give you a hand.

No, no, that's okay. I'll just barrel right through and get them finished. Oh,

Mary, I wouldn't kid around this time.

Not after what you've been through, kid. Please.

Really, I really, really will be serious about it. Sure.

Let's do Robert Redford.

When Robert Redford departed, those closest to him claimed to have heard him

one word, one last word, over and over.

And this one word was... Rhoda.

There was no clue as to what this strange word meant to Redford.

But many believe it was probably the name of his sled.