Original subtitles

Who can turn the world on with her smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should know it.

With each glance and every little movement you show it, love is all alone,

to waste it. You can never tell, why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all.

Listen to me, whoever you are. I have heard all those words before.

My father is a doctor.

See, see, you don't shock or provoke any of the responses that you're after.

Yes, yes, I've heard that one too.

Well,

no, I hadn't heard that one.

Look, if you don't stop calling me every five minutes, I'm going to have to

phone the police.

Was that my mother?

hard to put this into words.

Mary, I've been studying real estate, and today I got my license.

I said, why aren't you wearing it? I'm a little collar around your neck.

Yes, Mary, I am now actually an official licensed real estate agent.

Actually. Would you look at there? That's what it says. Licensed real

agent. Look at there, Rhoda. Phyllis Lindstrom. Oh, yes. See that? Filled

correctly and everything.

Well, I must say, just incidentally, Mary, you don't seem to be acting very

excited about it. Oh, but still, I am excited.

Really. Well, maybe not excited. Maybe bored.

There's something I must say now.

But I can't. I just can't. Don't ask me.

Okay.

that you should use your friends as contact.

But I can't do that sort of thing.

I can't use people.

Good. Oh, I'm proud of you.

Although, I think the other shoe was about to drop.

It wouldn't be actually using, not in the strict sense of the word, it would

more like helping each other.

Truly realizing the meaning of the word friendship.

But no matter, I can't do that.

No, no.

Impossible. Out of the question. Nope.

Negative. Nine.

Nyet.

But then again... Waiter, check, please.

Mary, I'm going to do it. I'm going to come to your newsroom tomorrow. I'm

to pounce on everybody. Please.

I'm asking you, don't pounce.

But, Mary, I think I should at least talk to Lou.

That poor man must be at loose ends, rattling around that great big house all

alone. You did say his dear... Sweet marriage, bombed out.

Phyllis, I did not say it bombed out. And I am afraid, Phyllis, that I cannot

allow you to come to my newsroom and try to sell everyone I work with a house.

Are you saying no to me? No, negative, nine, nyet.

Well, we'll talk about this later.

other people.

Burglars, Mary.

Too bad they weren't kidnappers.

Something's wrong. I can sense it.

Television monitor's gone.

All the electric typewriters are gone.

It's the energy crisis, isn't it?

That's terrible.

Wait a minute. We're insured, aren't we?

There's a form. There's got to be a form. You'll need insurance form A -107.

Well, let's see.

There's my new diamond wristwatch for $300, which you never saw.

And the original oil painting signed by Picasso. I paid, let's see, $90.

All right. All those Christmas gifts I bought for all you guys for next year.

I was hiding them, you know me.

And a power mower I was going to take home.

Ted, I checked your dressing room, and all those things are there.

Power mowers, sir?

Yeah. The wristwatch thing, diamond, and the... The Picasso?

All right where you left them.

picture and my bowling trophy, and I

figure the burglars liked me.

Hi, hi. Hi, Mary.

Hi, Lou. Oh, hello, Phyllis. Hi, Lou.

I got a new hat.

Whenever I get a new hat, I always feel like having an attractive man take me to

lunch.

Want to complete the picture?

What'd she say about a hat?

Why?

Okay, Lou.

Oh, I hate doing this so flat out and ungracefully.

But, Lou, I'm going to sell your house.

Sell my house?

Oh, I hated doing it so flat out and ungracefully. But, Lou, you see, I'm a

licensed real estate agent now.

And I know how tragically alone you must be now that your wife, let's face it,

flew the coop.

appreciates refreshing honesty.

So, anyhoo, how about it? Lunch today, Lou?

Thank you, no, fellas.

Okay, Lou, forget lunch. Let's talk house.

I can get you $50 ,000.

Come on, you can't give me $50 ,000. Lou, look into my eyes.

$50 ,000 smackers.

$50 ,000?

smackers.

Think about it, Lou.

50 ,000 big ones.

into the conversation with no words.

Signed, she had.

Oh, Mary, I hope I can sell somebody at my party tonight.

Somebody ought to be interested in something.

Oh, I'm sure somebody will. Are you sure, Mary? Sure.

You're just saying that, aren't you, Mary?

Well, aren't you?

Well, actually, Phil, I'm not sure somebody will be interested, but I

hope they will. Sure, you hope, but you don't know hope.

Hi, Phyllis. Hi, Lou. Hi, Laura.

Well, Phyllis, I thought about it and thought about it, what you said earlier

today at the office, and I figured $50 ,000 in a house that's too big for me,

and I talked it over with a few friends of mine.

So I'm going to do it, since everybody says I should.

Don't kid me, Lou.

It'll be cruel to kid me.

I thought nobody would ever want to spend money for anything I ever did.

Call me Crazy Phyllis. Crazy Phyllis.

I tried writing, but nobody wanted it, so I laughed in that way I have and

okay, so you ain't a writer.

And then I tried sculpting, and nobody wanted it, so I tossed my head back and

laughed in that way I have.

So you don't have any sculpting talent.

You ain't a sculptist.

And now I suddenly see what I was born to do. To sell real estate.

Mr. Grant, would you like a drink? And sell. Thanks, I'll get it. And sell.

I was just kidding. I'm just curious, just intellectually curious about people

who go out of their way to embarrass people.

I was only kidding, Phyllis, really.

I feel awful about this.

Well, I'm forgetting the whole ugly episode ever now.

I forgive you.

Ted's dressing room's in the studio, isn't it? Yeah, right in the front.

don't finish this new budget, we'll probably have to work at home over the

weekend on it. Would you mind working Saturday morning?

No, never mind, Mr. Grant. Why don't you come over tomorrow morning around 9?

Oh, well, I have a date tonight.

Oh. Okay, make it 9 .30.

I guess a half hour isn't going to help, is it? No, not a lot.

Keep it at 9.

Where will you be tomorrow morning?

I'll probably be home working. Well, good. I'll see you then.

You know, when I bought that house, I paid $18 ,000 for it, and now it's worth

$50 ,000.

Quit dreaming, Lou. You'll never get $50 ,000 for it.

What makes it an omelet instead of just eggs is the little pieces of onion and

green pepper.

Why didn't you think it was an omelet? Huh? What? Because I didn't fold it?

Call it an unfolded omelet.

I mean, I just can't picture it.

Oh, I wish I could have been there seeing you at the table with the knife

cutting up the green pepper and the onion into little pieces.

Okay, Mary, enough egg talk.

Aren't you going to try it? Yes.

There's something in these eggs besides green pepper and onion, isn't there?

Beer.

Well, you're moving, and I never saw your house. I've never seen it.

I was wondering what the big secret was.

This is the big secret?

It's not so hot, though.

It's not as hot as I would have thought.

Ted, a lot of people are going to be coming through here today thinking about

buying this house, and I don't consider you as a selling point.

Maybe I'm one of the people who might be interested in buying a little

homestead.

You lease your shoes.

Maybe I'm looking for a place for my mother, Lou.

My small, elderly, gray -haired... Well, she dies at red, but underneath it's

gray -haired mother.

Right now, she's blowing her whole Social Security check on a crummy little

apartment. I figure with a little more, she could rent this place from me.

There's something wrong with these eggs. There's green stuff all over them.

Yes, I am.

Well, it's a pleasure to meet you all.

Excuse me.

Well, this is a nice place.

You know, it has a nice feel about it. What do you think, Rena? I think it's

great. I thought so the other day when we saw it.

The important thing is what you think.

I like it, really. Excuse us.

You'd like to see the house again. I just want to show you the kitchen.

the patio out here? I hate having people in my house.

I was just leaving, you know.

What's in these eggs, anyway?

Beer. Yeah, I know that. What are these green things?

I think they're going to buy.

Do you realize?

A thousand dollar commission.

Oh, what'll I get with it?

Mrs. Lindstrom, excuse me. What was the price again?

Oh, 42 .5.

$50 ,000. I won't sell it for a penny under 50.

No. You'll never pay 50 for it, Lou. Oh, we'd be willing to pay that.

Of course, who wouldn't?

Bill! Well, we'll get out of your way now. Thank you, sir. It was nice to meet

you. Yeah, same here.

And it was a pleasure, Mr. Severide.

Oh, hey, don't keep calling me Mr.

Severide. Call me Eric.

Well, let's go down to the office and sign the papers.

Oh, thanks for a lovely Saturday, Lou.

Hey, we must make a tradition of this. You know, do it every weekend.

Jelly donuts and green eggs.

Mr. Grant, you feel bad that you sold the house?

You got a good price.

Yeah.

Well, you feel like getting some work done here?

I don't feel like working, Mary.

Well, then maybe I'll just leave you alone. I don't feel like being alone,

Oh, Mr. Grant, I have an idea of what you're going through, and... I don't

like talking. Okay.

Mr.

Grant, don't you think you ought to throw some of this stuff away before you

pack it up?

I want everything.

It's all mine. I want it.

Hey, watch it. A little more carefully.

My children at various ages.

Ruthie, Janie, Sarah.

Mr. Grant, when was anybody ever that high?

That was little Sarah. She was too young to stand up.

Just how badly do you feel about leaving here? You look like you feel pretty

bad. It's about time you asked me, Mary.

I've been dropping little hints waiting for you to draw me out to find out how

miserable I am about all this. Why don't you just tell me then what's bothering

you instead of trying to make me feel guilty that I didn't ask you two minutes

earlier. Oh, wonderful, Mary. This is the worst moment of my life and you're

going to pick on me. Why are you making me feel like I've done something wrong?

Oh, sure, you haven't done anything wrong. Oh,

Phyllis is my friend, right? Oh, I see. So you're yelling at me because you

can't deal with Phyllis. I can deal with anybody.

All right. Except her.

Oh, isn't this exciting?

Lou.

Why the long face?

Oh, Lou.

Come on. I want you to give me a little smile.

Come on.

Just a little up at the edge.

That's right.

Oh, Lou.

You'll feel better once you're out of here on account of the memory.

I like the memories.

See that over there?

That's where we kept the Christmas tree year after year.

See over there?

That's where my daughter got married. She was able to get married here because

it was June and we didn't have the Christmas tree here.

See over there? That stain?

Aw, little Sarah.

No, the movers did it.

They march through your house in their white uniforms.

They dump your furniture on their truck, haul it to the next place, dump your

furniture off the truck. They don't care.

There's a life in this house.

My life is in this house.

I like this house.

I never knew you felt like this, Lou.

Now I need you to sign these papers, Liz.

Mr.

Grant, you don't have to go.

Mary.

What? You don't have to go. If you're happy here, you should stay here.

They're moving my stuff.

The money's in escrow. That's not important.

What's important is that you want to live in this house.

Forget about the movers. Forget about everybody.

Mary, it's nice of you. And I'm sure Lou would want to stand here and listen to

you all day long. But right now, he has these papers to sign. Come on, Lou.

You come and sign these papers.

Here.

I have to go through this, I promise. You don't have to.

I don't?

No.

But... I really don't, do I?

I really don't have to do it.

I don't need the money that much. Your things are a little tight right now, but

I'll make out all right. I don't have to do anything, right?

Hey,

stop.

Put it down.

What? Put it down. I'm moving back. Moving back? Yeah. I don't know how to

that.

I never moved a guy back.

Well, just do it.

How much do I charge for travel time? Just do it.

I want you to give me a little smile.

Just as a matter of information, just if you're ever on a quiz show and somebody

asks you, what happens if people back out of selling their house? Do they

owe the commission to the agent?

Well, just so you know it, Lou, the answer is yes.

It's yes, Lou.

But I'll never press the point. Well, that's really very decent of you, Phil.

course, my attorney might not be as reasonable.