Original subtitles

Since I sometimes wear my Cl and sometimes not

there are some sounds that I recognize with the Cl.

For example, the dishwasher is a familiar sound for me.

But there are also situations where I don't know what kind of sound something is.

And for hearing people it is of course clear what it is.

So sometimes I just ask and check, what exactly is this sound?

Because I can't immediately recognise or perceive it, what kind of sound it is.

But when I'm not wearing my CI,

I feel sound more,

or perceive it more visually.

I would say before the whole project, I would have said

sound only comes to me through hearing with the Cls.

I think now I perceive sound also through vibration.

Yes, but I personally think I perceive most sounds through hearing,

but also with sight, that is, with the field of vision.

So, if you see now from a distance a bird, for example,

yes, and you see that it flutters, then you know,

or a tree, then you know that there's sound there.

So, a prosthesis that...

even if it's used voluntarily, and without coercion,

it always has a psychological factor

that needs to be considered somehow,

because some people want to have this prosthesis, some don't,

some want to perceive sound or not,

and there are people who just don't want it,

and people who do.

And the people who don't want that

have chosen the silent way for themselves,

and that's fine too.

It's just important

that the person feels comfortable with it,

and wants to accept and embrace it.

For me sound is what reaches me,

it can be very different.

So, of course, I have hearing aids,

so sound comes in, and then it builds up something inside,

but it can also be that sound comes through the body.

I remember very clearly, on a ship,

these that have a diesel engine

always on top of the stern,

the ship wobbled all the time,

it was a large ship sailing across the North Sea, from Denmark to England,

and then in the evening - the sun on the deck of the ship,

and then the whole ship vibrates so lightly,

and it makes you so cozy, so sleepy, like when you're a baby,

and you fall asleep, and then it vibrates so lightly.

That's a sound for me, too.

Yes

so I can feel sound

through the vibration on the skin, through the body,

and I have the feeling that I

can perceive very subtle and nuanced things

I can perceive quiet or loud sounds,

but I don't hear them at all,

instead I perceive it through the sound itself,

through the vibration

and that is like hearing.

I wonder if hearing and hard of hearing people also have this body experience.

Sound for me can be

many different things.

So visual sound,

for example, when I see crops in a field

and their stems swing in the wind.

or...

Music as sound.

So I notice that I recognize faster

people that I meet by chance on the street,

while those around me don't notice it as quickly,

or I recognize also other things faster.

And you can't stop that.

So that's exactly the same as with sound, I would say.

Also with sound

You can't choose what you are hearing now.

In fact, the sound of tinnitus is something that is often difficult to grasp.

I think the metaphor of the fog fits really well.

It is as if this sound slowly and steadily settles over your surroundings

and veils it.

Can a subjective sound like tinnitus also be considered a sound?

I mean, in a way, it's like an orchestra in your head.

These different tones, playing at different pitches and volumes,

depending on how you're feeling that day.

Sometimes it can feel like you're juggling between 10 and 12 different tinnitus tones -

that is really an amazing performance.

There is the silent world and the hearing world,

which are separated from each other

and unfortunately hearing people live only in one world.

What is very important for a deaf person:

to have a sense of self-worth,

and then see and decide whether it feels like a right thing,

to adapt or not.

Because of course it is always

a lot of effort

and it really depends on it, whether it can work well

this adaptation.

An important topic for me is misunderstanding.

Misunderstanding in combination with hearing, in the sense that you don't really understand the person across from you

and perhaps that person does not understand you properly either.

and therefore there are often misunderstandings with hearing people,

that no one can sort out.

And then people leave frustrated and unhappy with one another

and each thinks to themselves,

how unsympathetic,

the other person doesn't respect me.

At first

one think of prostheses as something that

has indeed quite a positive connotation.

So one thinks, "Oh, it's great that this exists.

so someone who has lost a leg,

one can just... put another leg back on,

and can walk again, like anybody else."

But there is much more to it than that.

One must not forget

that health insurance companies,

hospitals, doctors,

are all part of an economic structure.

And in the case of the economy, what goes into it?

Power

and profit.

So at the core of the economy

is of course always the profit.

How much can learn from something?

So for example

we develop a hearing prosthesis, a Cl.

Then, of course, one also has

to compare the costs with the profit.

If the Cl costs too much

in development and in production

and the health insurance companies say

we won't pay that much for it,

then, obviously, they will look for a way

to make the production cheaper,

so that the profit is greater in the end.

My thought process on this is:

are the prostheses as they exist today,

really that optimal?

Or is it perhaps

a compromise between the cost,

the profit

and the idea?

Is it too expensive?

Is that why a prosthesis won't be made?

There's someone who decides about it,

who has the power over it,

who has control over it.

and says:

"You as a d/Deaf or hard of hearing person can do this and that with it.

But that's enough.

You don't need anything else".

It started in space.

The first cyborg

was an animal, actually.

In the 1960s, when the space race began,

two scientists were studying how the human body works in space,

and how its self-regulatory processes could be modified and enhanced through technology.

They referred to an experiment

in which an osmotic pump was inserted into a laboratory rat.

The goal of the experiment was to to introduce drugs into the intestines of farmed animals.

But instead, the idea of a 'cybernetic organism', a cyborg, evolved from it.

Later, the idea of a cyborg branched out and developed into many other themes.

The figure of the cyborg plays an important role in feminist theories,

which understand a prosthesis not only as an aiding tool,

but above all as a machine that has a connection with a living body,

with our psychological, physiological, and emotional relationships,

with ourselves and with others.

I personally live partly in the deaf world, in the hard of hearing world and in the hearing world.

And I find that incredibly difficult.

We always have to adapt,

because with a prosthesis you can't hear everything, you have to put it back together somehow

and of course that does a lot to you.

You are somehow... somehow you never really belong.

I then think about the idea of a future prosthesis,

that would allow people

to put themselves into other roles with their own bodies.

It would be very interesting, not only for us as deaf people,

but also for the hearing world, to get to know the deaf world.

Both sides could learn from each other,

That could perhaps lead to a better understanding between the worlds.

Does one even need a prosthesis?

Does one want it at all?

I for myself can say: I need it, but I don't want it.

The prosthesis is my connection with the hearing world.

But the hearing world

has no connection to me.

Well,

if I were to imagine right now I had a prosthesis

to have the perception of a hearing person,

I would imagine that my deafhood,

my deaf identity would be gone,

and I don't want that.

But on the other hand,

I also want to create the bridge

from the hearing world to the Deaf world,

to give the hearing people an insight into my world.

Excerpts from the forthcoming album "Annihilating Despair" by

Funded by the Ministry of Culture and Science of the State of North Rhine-Westphalia as a media art fell

Funded by the Ministry of Culture and Science of the State of North Rhine-Westphalia as a media art fel

Funded by the Ministry of Culture and Science of the State of North Rhine-Westphalia as a media art fellow