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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,780 --> 00:00:10,460 Okay. Okay, I have the name. Are you ready? 2 00:00:11,100 --> 00:00:13,540 What is it? Sit down. I want you to be sitting down for this. 3 00:00:13,740 --> 00:00:15,940 Uh -oh. All right. All right. I'm sitting. 4 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:17,400 Close your eyes. 5 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:18,960 Open your mind. 6 00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:22,480 Picture, if you will, Mirabella. 7 00:00:24,140 --> 00:00:25,300 Okay, how about if it's a boy? 8 00:00:25,540 --> 00:00:27,480 Newsweek. All right. No, go ahead. 9 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:30,460 Mock me. What is it with you? The last ten weeks, all you're doing, you're 10 00:00:30,460 --> 00:00:31,500 feeding me girls' names. 11 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:33,480 I got a couple of boys' names. Please. 12 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:35,400 Otto. 13 00:00:36,580 --> 00:00:37,580 Otto. 14 00:00:37,860 --> 00:00:40,400 Otto. That's a nice name if you're bald and have a monocle. 15 00:00:40,820 --> 00:00:42,340 Hi. Hello, Buckmans. 16 00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:44,360 Hi. We're here to see Joan. 17 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:48,100 Well, why don't the three of you fill that out? We'll be right with you. 18 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:51,600 You know, it's easy to shoot down names. Let's hear some of yours. 19 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:53,020 I got many old names. 20 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:54,520 Joseph. 21 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,180 Andy. 22 00:00:56,580 --> 00:00:57,580 Michael. 23 00:00:57,920 --> 00:00:58,920 Janet. 24 00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:00,460 Jermaine. Tito. 25 00:01:01,540 --> 00:01:02,620 Honey. Latoya. 26 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:07,640 Not so easy, is it? All right, all right. What's wrong with Otto? It's a 27 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:09,840 distinctive name. You see very few kids named Otto. 28 00:01:10,620 --> 00:01:11,660 With good reason. 29 00:01:13,460 --> 00:01:16,960 Distinctive is important for the parents, but for the kid, all it means 30 00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:18,780 going to end up hanging by his underwear from a school locker. 31 00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:23,140 He is not. You've got to think about the playgrounds. Think about the 32 00:01:23,140 --> 00:01:27,560 playgrounds. What you want is a name that says, don't notice me, and if you 33 00:01:27,740 --> 00:01:29,500 please God, don't beat me up. 34 00:01:31,020 --> 00:01:32,080 Where did you grow up? 35 00:01:32,380 --> 00:01:33,540 On the streets, baby. 36 00:01:35,980 --> 00:01:37,180 Ooh. What? 37 00:01:37,460 --> 00:01:39,480 Do you want to know the sex of the baby? 38 00:01:40,540 --> 00:01:44,460 You know where I stand on that. I think only good comes from knowing. 39 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:45,680 What about the surprise? 40 00:01:45,900 --> 00:01:48,260 This is like the biggest surprise you can ever have in your life. 41 00:01:48,580 --> 00:01:50,940 What is the surprise, really? It's one of two things. 42 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:52,680 It's a boy or a girl. 43 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:58,080 If it's a third thing, like, say, an owl, then I say, let's find out now. 44 00:01:58,670 --> 00:02:00,730 Listen, I hate to do this to you, but I'm the mother. 45 00:02:01,870 --> 00:02:05,030 What does that mean? It means I'm carrying this child, and I say we're not 46 00:02:05,030 --> 00:02:06,009 finding out. 47 00:02:06,010 --> 00:02:07,210 Oh, are you pulling rank on me? 48 00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:10,470 Off possessions, nine -tenths of the law. Let's face it, you got nothing. 49 00:02:12,810 --> 00:02:13,810 Looking good. 50 00:02:14,330 --> 00:02:16,350 Oh, this is ridiculous. 51 00:02:16,550 --> 00:02:17,550 We have a deal. 52 00:02:17,830 --> 00:02:21,210 What deal? I had no leverage. You were holding the baby hostage. 53 00:02:23,350 --> 00:02:25,610 Oh, I can't take it anymore. I'm going to look. Keep those hands up. 54 00:02:25,830 --> 00:02:26,890 Oh, look how sweet. 55 00:02:28,850 --> 00:02:30,930 Sweet in a boyish way or sweet in a girlish way? 56 00:02:31,410 --> 00:02:32,610 You're so cute. 57 00:02:33,510 --> 00:02:35,270 Yeah, like cute handsome or cute pretty? 58 00:02:36,010 --> 00:02:39,370 It's fine. The baby looks great. Oh, how adorable. 59 00:02:40,050 --> 00:02:42,610 Oh, I guess we'll just have to take her word for that, won't we? 60 00:02:43,350 --> 00:02:46,090 Well, if you want to look, you can look. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We agree. 61 00:02:46,190 --> 00:02:47,190 We're not going to look. 62 00:02:47,890 --> 00:02:48,890 Oh. 63 00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:51,270 A penis? 64 00:02:52,170 --> 00:02:53,170 A penis. 65 00:02:53,950 --> 00:02:54,950 Positively a penis? 66 00:02:55,070 --> 00:02:56,110 Absolutely a penis. 67 00:02:56,630 --> 00:02:59,580 Oh. Let me ask you something. Yes, sir. Was it big? 68 00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:04,520 Can I tell you something? When it's your kid and you're the father, you're a 69 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:07,920 parent, you don't care about stuff like that. All you're concerned about is, is 70 00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:09,500 the kid healthy? It's huge. 71 00:03:10,700 --> 00:03:15,100 There you go. He's a buckman. Oh, believe me, that's a buckman. 72 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:18,200 Who are we kidding? What are we saying? 73 00:03:19,660 --> 00:03:22,700 So listen, you're going to be a father, you're going to have a son, a boy, huh? 74 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:25,920 My first child will be a masculine child. 75 00:03:27,070 --> 00:03:28,070 Hey, hey, hey. 76 00:03:28,190 --> 00:03:30,110 What about James? How are you going to keep her from finding out? 77 00:03:30,570 --> 00:03:32,450 I'll tell her when the moment's right. 78 00:03:32,730 --> 00:03:33,730 When's that going to be? 79 00:03:33,850 --> 00:03:34,870 Right after the kid's born. 80 00:03:35,830 --> 00:03:38,370 Are you going to keep the sex of your own child from your wife? 81 00:03:39,230 --> 00:03:42,990 Why would I ruin this for her? I mean, the surprise is very important to her. 82 00:03:43,010 --> 00:03:44,230 She's been waiting for this her whole life. 83 00:03:44,550 --> 00:03:46,210 Plus, she'll kill you. Yeah, I don't need that. 84 00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:48,310 Oh, that's terrible. 85 00:03:48,850 --> 00:03:51,250 Paul, did you know your Uncle Phil is in the hospital? No. 86 00:03:51,590 --> 00:03:52,830 Uncle Phil? What happened? 87 00:03:53,090 --> 00:03:54,130 He's very sick. 88 00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:56,980 I would imagine. He's in the hospital, probably very sick. 89 00:03:57,740 --> 00:03:58,638 What's the matter? 90 00:03:58,640 --> 00:03:59,640 He's very sick. 91 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:04,160 A little more information, please? 92 00:04:04,380 --> 00:04:08,580 Well, the doctor said it could be... That's what the doctor said? The doctor 93 00:04:08,580 --> 00:04:12,420 said that? The doctor said he had a thing where... But he's very sick. 94 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,339 I'm just trying to get a little information. He's very sick. All right. 95 00:04:21,740 --> 00:04:22,740 Who was the number? 96 00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:24,300 627. 97 00:04:27,039 --> 00:04:28,039 Ready. Huh. 98 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:30,719 Oh, God. 99 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:33,060 No, no, no. I'm sure they just moved him. Come on. We'll find out. 100 00:04:41,020 --> 00:04:44,800 Uncle Phil? 101 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:46,440 Open up the bed! 102 00:04:58,950 --> 00:04:59,950 I made a mistake. 103 00:05:00,210 --> 00:05:01,129 You made a mistake? 104 00:05:01,130 --> 00:05:02,610 Yeah, I pressed the wrong button. 105 00:05:02,850 --> 00:05:04,650 Are you sure you're okay? Yeah, I think I'm okay. 106 00:05:04,970 --> 00:05:08,350 You didn't get hurt? No, I'm fine. What exactly happened? Well, would you do me 107 00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:11,550 a favor? Yeah. Could you go over there? I can't take the swiveling. 108 00:05:12,630 --> 00:05:14,530 Did you hit the wrong button? 109 00:05:14,810 --> 00:05:17,930 I hit the wrong button. I'm pressing buttons all my life. 110 00:05:18,910 --> 00:05:23,690 Intercoms, doorbells. It's the first time I ever got folded in half. 111 00:05:25,710 --> 00:05:26,529 I learned something. 112 00:05:26,530 --> 00:05:29,890 What's that? You know that your kneecaps fit right into your eye sockets? 113 00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:31,830 It's amazing. 114 00:05:32,070 --> 00:05:37,330 Ooh, it's my favorite niece and nephew, Jamie Paul. I'm embraced. 115 00:05:37,570 --> 00:05:38,570 I'm embraced. 116 00:05:40,290 --> 00:05:41,410 Good, good. 117 00:05:41,830 --> 00:05:43,250 Of course, you know I'm dying. 118 00:05:44,790 --> 00:05:49,070 You're not dying. Oh, come on. I know I'm dying. There's no two ways about it. 119 00:05:49,210 --> 00:05:53,170 Oh, come on. What do the doctors say? The doctors, what do they know? I'm 120 00:05:53,170 --> 00:05:55,070 telling you, it's bleak. 121 00:05:55,660 --> 00:05:57,540 What do you mean? Why do you say it's bleak? 122 00:05:57,780 --> 00:06:02,580 Last night, late at night, I saw God. 123 00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:08,860 Yes, he was hovering over me, maybe a little to the left. 124 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:13,860 And he spoke to me. What did he say? 125 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:15,460 He said, hello. 126 00:06:17,900 --> 00:06:21,160 That's how God talks? He just said hello? Yes, that's how he talks. No 127 00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:23,760 He's a regular guy, and he can do anything. 128 00:06:24,430 --> 00:06:26,490 He could take this whole building, turn it upside down. 129 00:06:27,350 --> 00:06:29,630 He could take Cincinnati, shove it in Chicago. 130 00:06:32,010 --> 00:06:34,490 You want a chocolate molded? Boom, you got it. 131 00:06:35,190 --> 00:06:36,710 Heads over light, I'm in it. 132 00:06:37,370 --> 00:06:38,910 Toast, always golden brown. 133 00:06:39,590 --> 00:06:44,730 He's perfect, but he doesn't rub your nose in it. 134 00:06:46,380 --> 00:06:48,500 So you actually talked back to God? 135 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:53,820 Yeah, I did. But I was respectful. So I said, O Lord. 136 00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:55,960 He likes Lord. Sure. 137 00:06:57,140 --> 00:06:59,460 O Lord, what would you of me? 138 00:06:59,700 --> 00:07:05,000 Who thou knowest unforgiveth of me to come on us to use for me? Who thou 139 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:09,020 unforgetheth? Uncle Bill, you have some food here. You haven't even touched it. 140 00:07:09,260 --> 00:07:11,720 Food? You say food. I say hot. 141 00:07:12,300 --> 00:07:15,940 A little Jell -O? Jell -O, that's the worst thing they do. Do you know what 142 00:07:15,940 --> 00:07:16,759 do? No. 143 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,680 They put pineapple in the Jell -O. 144 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,700 Is that bad? It's an unwritten law. 145 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:25,380 Never. Never put pineapple in Jell -O. 146 00:07:25,860 --> 00:07:28,700 How do you put pineapple in the man's Jell -O? Banana, yes. 147 00:07:29,300 --> 00:07:30,420 Apple, fine. 148 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:31,800 Mango, borderline. 149 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,800 It can go in. 150 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:40,380 But pineapple erodes the Jell -O. 151 00:07:41,740 --> 00:07:44,440 It loses its gelatinous consistency. 152 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:52,360 What is Jell -O? Jell -O is nothing if it isn't a shimmy. The pineapple 153 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:55,960 the shimmy. There's no shimmy left in this Jell -O. I think we get the drift 154 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,520 that. You could put pineapple in cottage cheese. Fine. 155 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,540 The cottage cheese can take it. It's strong. 156 00:08:02,860 --> 00:08:04,080 The Jell -O fills up. 157 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:06,440 So there's no way. 158 00:08:07,260 --> 00:08:08,119 Get my drift? 159 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:09,120 I do. Okay. 160 00:08:09,580 --> 00:08:14,480 All right, then drift over here. There's a bedpan in the last... Oh, you know 161 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:17,520 what? I'll just wait outside. No, no, no, no. It's not that. It's not that 162 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:21,680 of thing. Here, here. Let me show you what I have in mind. All right? 163 00:08:22,780 --> 00:08:23,780 All right. 164 00:08:23,900 --> 00:08:24,900 Here. 165 00:08:25,180 --> 00:08:26,180 Saved it a trip. 166 00:08:26,620 --> 00:08:27,620 Keep going. 167 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:32,039 Mr. Buckman, it's time. 168 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:34,559 Oh, no, don't take me. Don't let them take me. It's going to be okay. 169 00:08:35,059 --> 00:08:38,179 Don't let them take me. Save your uncle, no. 170 00:08:38,380 --> 00:08:40,100 Please, don't take me. 171 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:41,960 What's the matter? What is it? 172 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:43,320 What is it? 173 00:08:44,220 --> 00:08:45,220 I'm in a tunnel. 174 00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:46,720 I'm in a tunnel. 175 00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:50,340 I see a light. I see a light at the other end. 176 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:51,880 Is it heaven? 177 00:08:54,620 --> 00:08:55,620 No. 178 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,000 It's New Jersey. 179 00:08:57,180 --> 00:08:58,500 It's New Jersey, yes. 180 00:08:59,180 --> 00:09:01,840 I must be in the Holland Tunnel, Mr. Butler. Listen, 181 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:05,800 you don't worry about anything. You're going to be fine. You have to do me a 182 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:09,800 favor. Sure, anything you want. This is a deathbed request. Now, if you say yes, 183 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:13,880 it's a binding promise. Yes, anything you want. If you have a boy, I want you 184 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:15,300 name him after me. 185 00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:18,720 Oh, I'll go kill it. Whoa! 186 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:19,960 Whoa! 187 00:09:20,980 --> 00:09:21,980 What's the matter? What's the matter? 188 00:09:22,820 --> 00:09:23,940 Oh, the pain. 189 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:25,640 Oh, it's on the march. 190 00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:27,020 It's on the go. 191 00:09:27,420 --> 00:09:28,840 It's heading for my heart. 192 00:09:29,740 --> 00:09:32,860 Here's the thing. The thing about the name, it's hard for us to... Oh, God, 193 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:33,880 okay. 194 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:38,420 Fill in. We'll name the boy Phil. Wait, wait, wait. One more thing. 195 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,720 My real name is not Phil. 196 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:45,420 My real name is Deuteronomy. 197 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:50,340 I never heard that. 198 00:09:58,170 --> 00:09:59,170 Deuteronomy. I know. 199 00:09:59,930 --> 00:10:02,370 The man's name is Deuteronomy. That's what he said. 200 00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:04,850 We just promised to name our child Deuteronomy. 201 00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:08,890 All right, all right. I don't understand how you can be so calm about this. 202 00:10:09,070 --> 00:10:12,110 Because worrying's not going to help anything. And besides, we gave our word. 203 00:10:12,290 --> 00:10:14,110 No, we gave our word to a guy named Phil. 204 00:10:14,410 --> 00:10:18,190 It's a matter of honor. If we just break our word, then what kind of people are 205 00:10:18,190 --> 00:10:21,430 we? Well, we're the kind of people who were free to name their kid Tom. 206 00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:25,170 I have a little surprise for you. 207 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:28,340 I think I know something you don't know. Oh, what's that? 208 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:30,240 We're having a girl. 209 00:10:37,780 --> 00:10:42,100 What are you talking about? I have a very strong feeling that this baby's a 210 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:43,600 girl. And if that's true, we got no problem. 211 00:10:43,980 --> 00:10:46,980 So you're talking about a feeling? More than a feeling. It's a maternal 212 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:47,980 instinct. 213 00:10:49,020 --> 00:10:53,720 Okay. Well, honey, I respect that. I really do. But, you know, instincts, I 214 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:57,500 mean... Thousands of years of civilization have sort of dulled our 215 00:10:57,500 --> 00:11:01,620 mean, you can't count on those. I mean, look at me, my whole hunting -gathering 216 00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:02,620 thing, that's shot. 217 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:05,840 What are you talking about? 218 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:10,000 You have no conception of motherhood. 219 00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:14,680 I'm physically connected to this child. This isn't some new age concept. This is 220 00:11:14,680 --> 00:11:15,680 real. 221 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:19,400 All right, listen, I'm physically connected to my pancreas and, you know, 222 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:20,800 hasn't said a word to me in 14 years. 223 00:11:23,690 --> 00:11:25,650 Why are you giving me such a hard time about this? 224 00:11:25,870 --> 00:11:27,090 Tell me it isn't true. 225 00:11:27,370 --> 00:11:29,010 I take it you talked to Uncle Phil. 226 00:11:29,350 --> 00:11:33,130 Tell me you didn't agree to name your child appendectomy. 227 00:11:34,690 --> 00:11:35,690 You're on to me. 228 00:11:36,010 --> 00:11:38,230 Look, have you both lost your mind? 229 00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:42,570 Do you have any idea how much this kid is going to be teased? Doody? I know. 230 00:11:44,330 --> 00:11:45,490 Doodoo? We understand. 231 00:11:45,910 --> 00:11:46,869 Doody on a me? 232 00:11:46,870 --> 00:11:47,870 Yeah, yeah. 233 00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:52,220 Keep this coming because this is really helping now. Come on, think about it. If 234 00:11:52,220 --> 00:11:55,380 I went to school with a kid named Deuteronomy, my day would not be 235 00:11:55,380 --> 00:11:56,380 until I made the kid cry. 236 00:11:58,540 --> 00:12:01,240 Who do you think he's going to come to? You? No, you're the perps. 237 00:12:01,460 --> 00:12:04,580 He's going to come to me, his favorite uncle, all right? You got to give this 238 00:12:04,580 --> 00:12:05,580 kid a normal name. 239 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,660 Kids can make fun of any name. 240 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,000 Yeah, what about Bob? 241 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:10,980 Blob. All right, Joe? 242 00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:12,640 Schmo. Shelly? 243 00:12:13,220 --> 00:12:14,220 Smelly. 244 00:12:14,340 --> 00:12:15,340 Ira? 245 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:16,840 Ira. 246 00:12:19,660 --> 00:12:23,740 Now, you see, with a nice name like Bert, you wouldn't get any teasing. 247 00:12:23,980 --> 00:12:27,280 Well, actually, a few nasty kids used to call me fat ass. 248 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:36,360 Plus, if Deuteronomy was such a wonderful name, why does he call himself 249 00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:37,880 He never even liked it himself. 250 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:42,020 Sylvia, it's not as bad as it sounds. I was just telling Paul I have a very 251 00:12:42,020 --> 00:12:44,440 strong maternal instinct that the baby is a girl. 252 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:46,040 Really? I do. 253 00:12:46,220 --> 00:12:47,420 Oh, what a relief. 254 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:48,760 I know that feeling. 255 00:12:49,020 --> 00:12:49,719 You see? 256 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:53,740 See? Yeah, I knew that Paulie was going to be a boy and that Debbie and Sharon 257 00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:57,340 were going to be girls. You just get that feeling. Oh, yeah, that feeling. 258 00:12:57,820 --> 00:12:59,780 Avert, we've got nothing to worry about. 259 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,080 Oh, that's a relief. 260 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:06,660 I think Paulie has something he wants to say. 261 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:10,280 No, I don't. 262 00:13:11,020 --> 00:13:14,220 No, no, no, you want to say the thing about, you know, the thing. 263 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:17,460 No, I don't. What thing? About what thing? Nothing. Something. 264 00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:19,700 So say it already. 265 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:29,940 I was saying to him earlier, I have my own paternal instincts, you know, and I 266 00:13:29,940 --> 00:13:32,280 just, I don't know, I got a feeling a kid's going to be a boy. 267 00:13:32,900 --> 00:13:35,940 Honey, that's very sweet, but this is kind of a woman thing. 268 00:13:36,340 --> 00:13:40,040 No, I understand. It's just, he really, really, really got a very strong 269 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:41,040 feeling. 270 00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:43,600 I feel it, feel it in my bones. 271 00:13:44,430 --> 00:13:47,330 I can tell you with almost absolute certainty this kid is going to be a boy. 272 00:13:48,550 --> 00:13:50,230 Honey, we have nothing to worry about. 273 00:13:50,470 --> 00:13:51,470 Trust me. 274 00:13:52,770 --> 00:13:54,430 I peeked at the ultrasound, saw a little penis. 275 00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:03,050 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. One second. 276 00:14:03,590 --> 00:14:07,630 Don't chicken out on me. No, I'm not, I'm not. It's just the man, he's on his 277 00:14:07,630 --> 00:14:09,330 deathbed. We made him a promise. 278 00:14:09,570 --> 00:14:10,570 I'm not keeping that promise. 279 00:14:11,290 --> 00:14:15,030 It's just not going to be easy. I mean, he's in there, he's hanging by a thread. 280 00:14:15,290 --> 00:14:16,630 Prepare yourself for the worst. 281 00:14:18,770 --> 00:14:21,550 Everybody's doing it, doing it, doing it. 282 00:14:22,130 --> 00:14:27,190 Everybody's doing it, doing it, doing it. See that ragged down couple over 283 00:14:27,190 --> 00:14:32,470 there? Watch them throw their shoulders in the air. It's not your fingers, 284 00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:33,750 honey, I declare. 285 00:14:34,010 --> 00:14:36,070 It's a bear, it's a bear, it's a bear. 286 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:03,540 All right, boys. 287 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:04,960 Take pride. 288 00:15:05,220 --> 00:15:06,240 Smoke them if you got them. 289 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,280 Leon. 290 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,360 Down. Down. 291 00:15:11,290 --> 00:15:13,110 Down. You're going down. You got it. Up. 292 00:15:13,630 --> 00:15:15,910 Everyone doing it. One more doing it. 293 00:15:16,510 --> 00:15:17,510 Doing it. 294 00:15:18,930 --> 00:15:22,890 Uncle Phil, what is all this? 295 00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:24,730 The turkey trot. Yeah. 296 00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,330 What about the surgery? 297 00:15:26,830 --> 00:15:31,790 Surgery? No surgery. What surgery? They prodded. They poked. They manipulated 298 00:15:31,790 --> 00:15:32,790 digitally. 299 00:15:33,230 --> 00:15:35,050 What did they find? 300 00:15:35,590 --> 00:15:36,630 Zip. Zero. 301 00:15:37,190 --> 00:15:38,190 Nothing. 302 00:15:39,850 --> 00:15:41,310 Nothing. What about the pain? 303 00:15:41,710 --> 00:15:42,710 Gas. 304 00:15:43,270 --> 00:15:49,610 A humongous, rogue bubble of trapped gas. 305 00:15:50,470 --> 00:15:53,870 And it left as silently as it came. 306 00:15:54,930 --> 00:15:55,930 In the night. 307 00:15:57,590 --> 00:15:58,910 Here's your bag, Mr. Booker. 308 00:15:59,170 --> 00:16:00,170 Oh, Skippy. 309 00:16:00,350 --> 00:16:01,830 Here, thanks for everything. 310 00:16:02,110 --> 00:16:03,270 Buy yourself a swatch. 311 00:16:06,310 --> 00:16:10,060 Well, Phil, we're so... I'm happy to hear that you're feeling better, you 312 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:13,580 because we actually wanted to talk to you about something. This isn't mine. 313 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:14,600 what the hell. 314 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:23,900 We wanted to talk to you about something, you know, about the name. The 315 00:16:24,020 --> 00:16:25,440 Yeah, Deuteronomy. 316 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:28,860 The name, yes, Deuteronomy. Yeah, we're a little concerned. 317 00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:34,500 It's a little... Here's the thing, it's not very common. Yeah. 318 00:16:34,940 --> 00:16:39,530 Common. If you want common, you name a kid Joe, you name a kid John. 319 00:16:39,810 --> 00:16:41,370 The kid goes to a picnic. 320 00:16:43,150 --> 00:16:44,970 John, your sandwich is ready. 321 00:16:45,890 --> 00:16:47,910 Forty kids run up to get their sandwich. 322 00:16:48,650 --> 00:16:53,790 You name the kid Deuteronomy. 323 00:16:54,450 --> 00:16:58,370 Deuteronomy, your sandwich is ready. Your kid's getting that sandwich. 324 00:16:59,470 --> 00:17:01,370 You make a very, very strong point. Of course. 325 00:17:01,630 --> 00:17:04,910 It's just that we're concerned. This isn't mine either. 326 00:17:06,670 --> 00:17:07,670 What the hell? 327 00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:09,950 This is mine. Yeah. 328 00:17:10,970 --> 00:17:14,430 Are we just afraid that the kid would get teased? I mean, didn't you used to 329 00:17:14,430 --> 00:17:15,209 teased a lot? 330 00:17:15,210 --> 00:17:19,329 Yeah, we all get teased. We get teased a little bit. So what? It's no big deal. 331 00:17:19,369 --> 00:17:24,170 I used to come home from school as I was walking home. I'd hear, doody, doody. 332 00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,210 See? 333 00:17:26,329 --> 00:17:29,950 There's no duty on you. Is there any duty on me? 334 00:17:30,870 --> 00:17:33,030 You know? I got it. I got it. 335 00:17:33,330 --> 00:17:36,870 Then they'd shove a little. They'd push. I'd push. They'd shove. We'd shove. 336 00:17:36,990 --> 00:17:37,609 We'd hit. 337 00:17:37,610 --> 00:17:38,690 There'd be a lot of hitting. 338 00:17:39,050 --> 00:17:42,750 And they'd smash me, and then they'd take off my hat, and they'd all spit in 339 00:17:42,870 --> 00:17:44,130 which wasn't fun. 340 00:17:44,610 --> 00:17:49,030 And finally, one day, I said, this is it. I've had my fill. 341 00:17:49,990 --> 00:17:50,990 And it hit me. 342 00:17:53,870 --> 00:17:59,450 That's a good name. So I took Phil and I discarded Deuteronomy. 343 00:17:59,830 --> 00:18:01,270 Exactly. Yeah. 344 00:18:01,670 --> 00:18:05,270 So given all that, I guess you'd agree. 345 00:18:05,870 --> 00:18:10,070 We don't want to name him Deuteronomy. You can't name this kid Deuteronomy. 346 00:18:10,070 --> 00:18:11,070 are you, nuts? 347 00:18:11,980 --> 00:18:15,100 I was on painkillers. I was delirious. What's your excuse? 348 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,740 Well, delirious. Shame on you. 349 00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:24,180 But I love you both so much for going along with that name for so long. 350 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:25,400 Well, it's settled. 351 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:28,320 No Deuteronomy. No Deuteronomy. Frame embrace. 352 00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:30,160 Frame embrace. 353 00:18:30,220 --> 00:18:31,220 Frame embrace. 354 00:18:32,810 --> 00:18:36,050 Thank you so much. Listen, good to see you up, and you feel my pleasure. 355 00:18:36,330 --> 00:18:40,710 I love you both very much. I love you, too. If it's a boy, name him anything 356 00:18:40,710 --> 00:18:45,390 want. Thank you, Uncle Phil. But if it's a girl, I'd love you to name it after 357 00:18:45,390 --> 00:18:46,390 my mother. 358 00:18:46,910 --> 00:18:48,190 My name was Rose. 359 00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:49,810 Rose. Rose. 360 00:18:50,290 --> 00:18:52,530 That's actually kind of sweet. Rose is a very pretty name. 361 00:18:52,810 --> 00:18:55,690 Okay, we'll definitely think about it. We'll think about it. We'll think about 362 00:18:55,690 --> 00:18:58,190 Rose. Actually, Rose wasn't a real name. 363 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:05,660 So when the baby reaches five or six pounds, you could... What? 364 00:19:06,700 --> 00:19:09,200 What are you smiling at? The way you say the baby? 365 00:19:09,420 --> 00:19:10,359 The baby. 366 00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:12,880 So as to not give away any gender information. 367 00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:15,060 Very deft. Well, I do this a lot. 368 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,500 Well, you can stop doing it with us. I can. 369 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:19,300 We know it's a boy. 370 00:19:19,620 --> 00:19:20,499 You do? 371 00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:21,500 Paul saw a penis. 372 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:22,960 I'm sorry. 373 00:19:23,180 --> 00:19:25,340 The other day when you were doing the thing. The ultrasound. 374 00:19:25,900 --> 00:19:27,420 I know we said we weren't going to look and I... 375 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:30,700 I didn't mean to, but I just had a little space between my fingers, and I 376 00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:33,200 looked, and there it was. You saw a penis. 377 00:19:33,420 --> 00:19:36,040 Yes, ma 'am. Big expert penis spotter, are you? 378 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:39,700 Well, I do all right. 379 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:40,960 Show me. 380 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,080 Seriously? If you please. 381 00:19:43,620 --> 00:19:45,260 Look, there's our baby. 382 00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:47,119 Healthy baby? 383 00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:48,120 Very healthy. 384 00:19:48,340 --> 00:19:50,060 He won't always be transparent, right? 385 00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:53,120 Right there. 386 00:19:54,420 --> 00:19:55,420 There? 387 00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:57,440 I'm sorry. 388 00:19:57,660 --> 00:19:59,060 Right there, look. You sure? 389 00:20:00,540 --> 00:20:01,540 Yeah, look. 390 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:04,320 Right there. One, two, three, four, five. 391 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,000 Five penises. 392 00:20:07,220 --> 00:20:08,320 Boy, look out for this kid. 393 00:20:11,540 --> 00:20:13,380 It's a foot, isn't it? Hand. 394 00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:16,380 He didn't see a penis. Hand. 395 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,080 Is it possible his hand is on his penis? 396 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,360 Hand. Hand and nothing but a hand. 397 00:20:25,770 --> 00:20:28,610 You can't see it in this picture, but I'm telling you, the other day that kid 398 00:20:28,610 --> 00:20:29,730 was happy to see somebody. 399 00:20:32,550 --> 00:20:33,950 So this means it's a girl. 400 00:20:34,390 --> 00:20:35,390 Nope. 401 00:20:35,490 --> 00:20:36,249 It's a boy. 402 00:20:36,250 --> 00:20:37,250 Nope. 403 00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:38,870 Is it an owl? 404 00:20:40,210 --> 00:20:41,410 Seriously, tell me. I won't be mad. 405 00:20:41,910 --> 00:20:44,210 Do you want to know? Do you really want to know? 406 00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:47,670 Actually, I don't want to know. Wait a second. Last time you didn't want to 407 00:20:47,670 --> 00:20:49,190 out, and I did, and you steamrolled me. 408 00:20:49,450 --> 00:20:52,150 I get to vote this time. I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm taking charge. I'm saying, 409 00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:54,470 no, now we're not going to find out. Oh, well. 410 00:20:54,890 --> 00:20:55,890 All right, then. Okay. 411 00:20:56,070 --> 00:20:57,970 Okay, then let's weigh in. Take your blood pressure. 412 00:21:04,550 --> 00:21:05,550 That's a penis. 413 00:21:12,590 --> 00:21:18,050 My favorite name for a girl has always been, always, since I'm 14, has been 414 00:21:18,050 --> 00:21:20,210 Trixie. I love that name. 415 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:24,440 Trixie's good too, but Trixie's better. Uncle Phil, it's hard for us to commit 416 00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:27,780 now. Louise is not a bad name. Think about Louise. 417 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,540 Every little breeze seems to whisper Louise. 418 00:21:32,260 --> 00:21:35,140 Birds in the trees seem to... Louise. 30993