All language subtitles for Mad About You s05e13 Astrology

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (SoranĂ®)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,660 --> 00:00:08,880 Can you put eggs in the microwave? 2 00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:13,640 No. 3 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:39,680 Let's take each other's hand as we jump into the final frontier. 4 00:00:41,380 --> 00:00:42,840 I'm about you, baby. 5 00:00:45,700 --> 00:00:48,200 So, Professor Tomasi, how do you like my documentary? 6 00:00:48,460 --> 00:00:50,020 Your film, Buckman? Yes. 7 00:00:51,140 --> 00:00:54,040 Did you get a chance to watch it? Yes, I did. 8 00:00:55,240 --> 00:01:00,100 And? Truthfully, please. I thought it was wonderful. 9 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,680 Oh, get out of here. I found it to be wonderful. 10 00:01:03,070 --> 00:01:04,989 Very moving, well -paced. Oh, good. 11 00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:09,070 Marvelously spirited. Good, good. I cared about all the characters. Good, 12 00:01:09,110 --> 00:01:11,210 good. And I found your editing very judicious. 13 00:01:11,930 --> 00:01:15,350 Boy, coming from you, that is high praise indeed. 14 00:01:16,830 --> 00:01:20,490 And the music? Oh, I thought the music was wonderful. Oh, good, good, good, 15 00:01:20,590 --> 00:01:21,589 good, good, good. 16 00:01:21,590 --> 00:01:24,190 Boy, well, shoot me now, because that's all I need to hear. 17 00:01:25,850 --> 00:01:29,150 I thought there were a few patches near the beginning of the film that you might 18 00:01:29,150 --> 00:01:30,150 want to look at again. 19 00:01:30,450 --> 00:01:32,270 Yeah, oh, well, you know, because it's not totally finished yet. 20 00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:33,149 Oh, I understand. 21 00:01:33,150 --> 00:01:35,410 You know, and especially in the beginning. I mean, that's the area, 22 00:01:35,410 --> 00:01:38,490 enough, that I'm really... In fact, it's only just a few minutes, really, right 23 00:01:38,490 --> 00:01:40,530 at the beginning. Just a minute. Okay, yeah, yeah, sure, of course, of course, 24 00:01:40,530 --> 00:01:41,289 little bit. 25 00:01:41,290 --> 00:01:44,310 But basically... Basically, I thought it was a brilliant... Okay, okay, good, 26 00:01:44,430 --> 00:01:45,450 good, good, good, good, good, good. 27 00:01:45,830 --> 00:01:48,810 Well, Professor Tomasi, thank you so much. 28 00:01:50,190 --> 00:01:51,190 Yes? 29 00:01:51,550 --> 00:01:54,230 Professor, can I talk to you before class today? I will be with you in just 30 00:01:54,230 --> 00:01:59,450 minute. Say hello to my favorite student of all time, Paul Buck. Hi, how you 31 00:01:59,450 --> 00:02:00,449 doing? 32 00:02:00,450 --> 00:02:04,710 Watch classic films and remember, emulate, but never imitate. 33 00:02:14,890 --> 00:02:16,490 Hi, oh, sorry I'm late. 34 00:02:16,790 --> 00:02:17,769 Oh, what did he say? 35 00:02:17,770 --> 00:02:21,970 Okay, ask me how much he liked it. How much did he like it? This much. Yay! 36 00:02:24,900 --> 00:02:26,340 My professor, my mentor. 37 00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:29,580 All right, well, your mentor loved your movie. This is what I'm saying. 38 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:32,080 You looking for an onion bagel? Ah, whatever. 39 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:33,039 I ate it. 40 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:34,240 That's okay. I ate two of them. 41 00:02:34,700 --> 00:02:37,080 It's fine. Three, three and a half. I ate three and a half onion bagels. 42 00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:38,839 Is that a problem? 43 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:40,340 It's really not. You know, I'm pregnant. I understand. 44 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,680 Hey, Jamie, did you ever wear that sweater I got you? What sweater? 45 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:47,300 You know, that one I bought you, the white one with the little baby face 46 00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:50,300 embroidered on the belly? Yes, yes, yes, of course I wore it. It looked great. 47 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:51,560 You really wore it? 48 00:02:51,690 --> 00:02:55,410 Yes, I wore it several times to the office. I wore it to a party we went to 49 00:02:55,410 --> 00:02:57,550 weekend. Some friend's house in New Jersey. 50 00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:02,250 What? You did not. 51 00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:03,550 Yes, I did. 52 00:03:03,570 --> 00:03:04,570 Liar. 53 00:03:04,970 --> 00:03:08,430 I love the sweater. I wore it over and over. It's not my favorite sweater. 54 00:03:09,650 --> 00:03:11,330 It's okay. I wanted to like the sweater. 55 00:03:11,550 --> 00:03:14,490 Hey, you know what? It's no big deal. I just kind of find it sweet that you feel 56 00:03:14,490 --> 00:03:15,490 you have to lie about it. 57 00:03:15,590 --> 00:03:17,870 It wasn't a lie. I was just being nice. Is that a lie? 58 00:03:18,670 --> 00:03:19,670 Uh, no. 59 00:03:20,410 --> 00:03:23,230 I've got to say, when you start making up friends in New Jersey, it's pretty 60 00:03:23,230 --> 00:03:24,230 close to a lie. 61 00:03:26,610 --> 00:03:27,610 Hey, Nat. 62 00:03:27,770 --> 00:03:28,388 Hey, there. 63 00:03:28,390 --> 00:03:29,510 Hi, there. Hi, Nat. 64 00:03:30,610 --> 00:03:31,790 Hey, there's Mr. 65 00:03:31,990 --> 00:03:32,948 Murray. 66 00:03:32,950 --> 00:03:34,710 There's I, Murray Antoinette. 67 00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:36,590 This is my Marie Magdalene. 68 00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:40,690 Nat, would you like something to eat? 69 00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:43,670 Oh, no, thank you. I just had a short steak of flip jigs. 70 00:03:44,070 --> 00:03:45,750 Okay. And you know everybody, Lisa. 71 00:03:45,990 --> 00:03:46,990 Hey, there. Ira. 72 00:03:47,050 --> 00:03:47,978 Hold here. 73 00:03:47,980 --> 00:03:49,040 Hey, Nat, how's it going? 74 00:03:49,260 --> 00:03:51,380 Oh, real good, thank you. Very good, Nat Kenwood. 75 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:56,100 I'm particularly brilliant this morning because my sister Dory, but bless her 76 00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:58,540 heart, I call her Dory. Her true given name is Doris. 77 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:01,780 She's staying with me in town for a few days, so... Where's she from? 78 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:06,520 She currently resides in Plattsburgh. It's a northern part of New York State. 79 00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,560 It's a real small hamlet, right up Route 9. 80 00:04:08,820 --> 00:04:09,820 Hey, licorice. 81 00:04:10,540 --> 00:04:15,020 Interestingly enough, she's a very gifted astrological... 82 00:04:15,790 --> 00:04:18,950 My sister, she gives advice to people based on the configurations of their 83 00:04:18,950 --> 00:04:21,810 planetary... She's an astrologer. That's exactly right. 84 00:04:22,890 --> 00:04:24,610 Would she do my chart? 85 00:04:25,290 --> 00:04:27,670 I'm not sure about that. She's kind of here on vacation. 86 00:04:28,070 --> 00:04:31,810 Is this some kind of fortune telling, Matt? No, it's a bit more scientific 87 00:04:31,810 --> 00:04:33,410 that crystal ball crepe au lait. 88 00:04:34,210 --> 00:04:36,930 You know, I have never, ever had my chart done. 89 00:04:37,490 --> 00:04:40,930 You know, Mr. Buckman, under these conditions, you know, perhaps my sister 90 00:04:40,930 --> 00:04:41,930 be willing to do your chart. 91 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,240 Seeing as, you know, you're my employer and all that jazz. 92 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:46,140 Oh, sweetie, when are you going to have the time? 93 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,420 How about later this afternoon? 94 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,000 Count me in, too. 95 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:51,980 Really? Yeah, sure. I'm not doing anything. 96 00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:53,820 Well, me, too. It was my idea. 97 00:04:54,340 --> 00:04:56,100 I better get all this down. 98 00:04:56,580 --> 00:04:58,520 I've got my whole life in this thing. 99 00:05:00,020 --> 00:05:02,840 So put the three of us... You know what? Put her down, too. No, no, no. I'm not 100 00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:03,840 doing it. Why not? 101 00:05:03,980 --> 00:05:04,980 Hey, guys. 102 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:06,059 Put her down. 103 00:05:06,060 --> 00:05:07,760 Honey, we were going to go see that 2 .30 movie. 104 00:05:09,580 --> 00:05:12,800 What? We'll go to a movie another time. Put her down. Come on, this will be fun. 105 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:16,720 Okie dokie. No, Phil, excuse me. I got an antsy pooch on the line here. 106 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:20,620 All right, come on, Friedman Marie. Come on, Maria Schreiber -Schwarzenegger. 107 00:05:21,260 --> 00:05:22,520 Come on, Maria Schreiber -Schwarzenegger. 108 00:05:24,820 --> 00:05:27,220 Hey, we weren't going to a 2 .30 movie. 109 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:28,600 I'm pregnant. 110 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:29,680 All right. 111 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:35,439 Be here. 112 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:37,140 Mercury has been in retrograde. 113 00:05:38,340 --> 00:05:41,260 Mercury has been in retrograde. No wonder my life sucks. 114 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,520 Yeah, but check this out. 115 00:05:43,860 --> 00:05:49,160 Mars and Venus are in superior conjunction both with the sun and each 116 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:52,960 what that's telling me is you may find a big change taking place in your life 117 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:53,739 very soon. 118 00:05:53,740 --> 00:05:54,740 Big change? 119 00:05:55,340 --> 00:05:59,560 Menopause? No, I don't think that's quite it. What is it then? 120 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,820 Well, I think it's just a matter of how you choose to perceive it. 121 00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:04,860 How I have to choose to perceive it? Yeah. 122 00:06:05,180 --> 00:06:06,520 What am I paying you for? 123 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:09,100 You're into some heartbreak, Ira. 124 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:11,780 You see, Dory, now I know that you're nuts. 125 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:13,760 Because I'm not even going out with anybody. 126 00:06:13,980 --> 00:06:15,260 Well, I don't make this stuff up. 127 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:18,840 Yeah, I know. I mean, I'm not doubting you, but how the heck am I going to find 128 00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:22,300 myself heartbroken if nobody's anywhere near my heart? I don't know what to tell 129 00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:23,299 you. 130 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:24,700 It's kind of ironic, too, you know? 131 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:25,920 How so? 132 00:06:25,930 --> 00:06:30,410 You know, I'm not unattractive. No, you're not. I'm not uninteresting. 133 00:06:30,410 --> 00:06:31,410 not. 134 00:06:31,610 --> 00:06:33,630 Not without a modicum of charm. 135 00:06:33,950 --> 00:06:34,950 Not at all. 136 00:06:35,130 --> 00:06:36,970 I'd have to say you're quite the catch. 137 00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:38,730 Really? 138 00:06:39,730 --> 00:06:45,230 No, things look wonderful for the film, especially around the 25th. If you have 139 00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:49,270 any re -editing or anything to do, the 25th is a very auspicious day. 140 00:06:49,550 --> 00:06:52,410 Okay. Just out of curiosity, how does the 14th look? 141 00:06:52,810 --> 00:06:54,130 Got a dental appointment. 142 00:06:56,410 --> 00:06:57,510 Keep it. All right, good. 143 00:06:58,110 --> 00:06:59,950 Listen, there is one thing I do have to mention. 144 00:07:00,990 --> 00:07:02,330 Death? Is it early death? I knew it. 145 00:07:03,150 --> 00:07:05,690 No, no, no. No, it's just something you should be aware of. 146 00:07:06,430 --> 00:07:10,870 Someone close to you might be experiencing some intense feelings. 147 00:07:11,470 --> 00:07:14,210 Perhaps anger, resentment, jealousy. 148 00:07:14,870 --> 00:07:16,030 Perhaps directed at you. 149 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:17,870 Jealousy? Perhaps. 150 00:07:18,290 --> 00:07:21,790 Well, who would be jealous of me? I don't know. I couldn't say. Somebody in 151 00:07:21,790 --> 00:07:23,550 world. But it doesn't say? 152 00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:24,930 No, it doesn't give names. 153 00:07:26,570 --> 00:07:27,670 Initials? No. 154 00:07:29,330 --> 00:07:31,570 Tattoo? No. Scar? No. Birthmark? No. 155 00:07:32,670 --> 00:07:36,390 Just taking a wild guess here, is it bald British rocker seal? 156 00:07:38,490 --> 00:07:42,730 I admit I'm a little bit skeptical, but... This is so strange. 157 00:07:43,390 --> 00:07:45,650 Well... Something is not right here. 158 00:07:46,150 --> 00:07:48,670 You say you were born February 18th, 1963. 159 00:07:49,370 --> 00:07:51,930 That's right, 4 .30 a .m. On the East Coast. 160 00:07:52,410 --> 00:07:53,410 Hartford, Connecticut. 161 00:07:53,970 --> 00:07:55,390 Insurance capital of the world. 162 00:07:55,950 --> 00:07:56,950 Yes. 163 00:07:57,130 --> 00:08:01,350 I do read my horoscope sometimes in the paper, and I have to say it's never even 164 00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:02,550 been a little bit accurate. 165 00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:05,450 Well, it's not the same as this. No, I know. I'm sure they have to keep those 166 00:08:05,450 --> 00:08:06,790 things pretty general, right? 167 00:08:07,030 --> 00:08:07,849 Yeah, exactly. 168 00:08:07,850 --> 00:08:09,310 Even so, I'm an Aquarius. 169 00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:13,590 Yeah, I know. And I've read descriptions of what Aquarians are supposed to be 170 00:08:13,590 --> 00:08:17,750 like, and it's never even been remotely like me. Yeah, I know. 171 00:08:19,350 --> 00:08:20,810 Huh. What? 172 00:08:22,710 --> 00:08:23,910 Can I ask you a question? 173 00:08:24,190 --> 00:08:25,190 Yes. 174 00:08:25,710 --> 00:08:27,010 Are you being honest with me? 175 00:08:27,890 --> 00:08:29,850 Yes, I think I'm being very honest with you. 176 00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:33,570 Well, because from what I'm reading here, the truth seems to present quite 177 00:08:33,570 --> 00:08:34,570 obstacle to you. 178 00:08:38,110 --> 00:08:39,110 Excuse me? 179 00:08:39,350 --> 00:08:41,090 Well, let me just try to rephrase this. 180 00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:49,050 Do you find that you are uncomfortable with certain aspects of truthfulness? 181 00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:54,090 I'm quite comfortable with truthfulness. Thank you. 182 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,000 You know what? 183 00:08:58,540 --> 00:09:00,140 I don't think this is going to work out. 184 00:09:00,660 --> 00:09:03,820 I mean, I can't read your chart. 185 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:04,959 Why not? 186 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,260 You read everyone else's chart. Why can't you read mine? 187 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:08,520 It's what you do. 188 00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:11,140 Yeah, it is. You got the printer right in front of you. Why can't you just tell 189 00:09:11,140 --> 00:09:12,140 me what it says? 190 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:15,200 Because it's all lies, okay? 191 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,140 It's the chart of a liar. 192 00:09:17,340 --> 00:09:18,340 A liar? 193 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:23,760 Yeah, a liar. The chart says very clearly, you are a liar. 194 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:30,520 liar. It's not me. It's the planets. Here, take a look. 195 00:09:31,220 --> 00:09:33,420 I don't have to take a look at this thing. It's ridiculous. 196 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:37,800 You are a liar. A terrible liar. And you are wasting my time. 197 00:09:38,580 --> 00:09:39,900 I'm wasting your time. 198 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:45,600 You know what? I really... I would like you to leave now. 199 00:09:46,380 --> 00:09:47,620 Believe me. 200 00:09:47,940 --> 00:09:48,940 No problem. 201 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:54,340 Do you have a good session here, Mrs. Buckman? 202 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:01,400 It was you. 203 00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:03,960 You. Murray's jealous of me. 204 00:10:04,420 --> 00:10:06,780 Murray's jealous. Think about it. I got everything he wants. I got food and 205 00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:08,660 pants. Oh, stop it. 206 00:10:11,020 --> 00:10:12,400 Matt. Hey, there. 207 00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:14,500 Oh, there. 208 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:16,580 Matt, what are you doing here? 209 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:19,860 Well, very much to my dismay, Mrs. Bookman. 210 00:10:20,460 --> 00:10:24,720 After what I witnessed earlier today at my sister's, I unfortunately feel that 211 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:26,660 it would be best for everybody concerned... 212 00:10:27,050 --> 00:10:30,830 If I were to terminate my employment with you as your canine leisure 213 00:10:30,830 --> 00:10:34,070 Effective immediately, unfortunately. 214 00:10:35,170 --> 00:10:36,170 Huh? 215 00:10:36,230 --> 00:10:37,230 I quit. 216 00:10:38,830 --> 00:10:42,370 Matt, now are you sure? I mean, your sister and I had a disagreement, but 217 00:10:42,370 --> 00:10:43,950 doesn't have to change things between us. 218 00:10:44,190 --> 00:10:47,010 Point is, I'm very fond of my sister, Mrs. Buckman. Of course you are. I mean, 219 00:10:47,010 --> 00:10:48,050 we're very, very close indeed. 220 00:10:48,310 --> 00:10:48,909 I'm sure. 221 00:10:48,910 --> 00:10:52,350 And as fond as I am of you, and believe me, I'm very, very fond of you, Mrs. 222 00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:55,010 Buckman. Given a choice, I gotta go with my sister. 223 00:10:56,580 --> 00:10:58,060 Well, I understand that. 224 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:00,560 Well, you know, blood's thicker than water. 225 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:03,680 Yeah, I did go to great pains to avoid that particular cliche. 226 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:06,160 No, no, listen, it's true. 227 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:09,680 Very, very true. So, uh, bye, Mrs. Buttman. 228 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:12,380 Bye. Bye, Mr. Buttman. Bye, Natty. 229 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:13,840 Bye, Marie. 230 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:15,120 Bye, Jane Marie. 231 00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:17,220 Bye, Marie Marie Quakin. 232 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:21,240 Trap. Man, I gotta get out of here or I'm gonna start bawling like a little 233 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:22,240 boy. 234 00:11:26,510 --> 00:11:27,590 Well, I hope you're happy. 235 00:11:28,510 --> 00:11:33,170 Me? Oh, no, no. Yes, if you hadn't sent me to see his cockamamie sister. Excuse 236 00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:35,530 me, if you hadn't had the chart of a liar. 237 00:11:37,510 --> 00:11:40,370 I am not a liar. Well, I don't know that I believe you. 238 00:11:46,190 --> 00:11:47,190 Polly, what did you do? 239 00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:50,530 Tomasi said there were some rough patches in the beginning of the film. So 240 00:11:50,530 --> 00:11:51,530 tore your film apart? 241 00:11:51,630 --> 00:11:52,630 I didn't mean to. 242 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,780 I was just playing with the beginning, and I moved some of it to the middle. 243 00:11:55,820 --> 00:11:58,620 Then I moved the middle to the end, and I took a part of the end, and I put it 244 00:11:58,620 --> 00:11:59,700 near the beginning of the middle. 245 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:01,119 What's this? 246 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:02,820 That's the French connection. I don't know how it got in there. 247 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:04,640 I'll tell you, this is pathetic. 248 00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:06,280 Hey, are you jealous of me? 249 00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:09,980 No, you already asked me that. You know who's jealous of you? Who? This guy, 250 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:11,040 this clown, Tomasi. 251 00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:15,220 Get out of here. Boy, think about it. You're living a life. He's out there 252 00:12:15,220 --> 00:12:18,040 talking about it. Those who can do, those who cannot teach. 253 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:23,080 So you're saying that's why... Look at what he's put you through. The man is 254 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:24,500 sick. Sick. 255 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:26,880 Tomasi. Tomasi. 256 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:28,200 Tomasi is the one. 257 00:12:28,860 --> 00:12:30,680 So it was Tomasi all along. 258 00:12:31,020 --> 00:12:32,020 That's right, Paul. 259 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,120 You do what you gotta do, my friend. 260 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,000 Come in. 261 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:42,360 Paul. 262 00:12:42,620 --> 00:12:45,580 Professor. Have you taken another pass at this? 263 00:12:45,860 --> 00:12:46,980 Yes, I have. 264 00:12:47,540 --> 00:12:48,960 Based on your little note. 265 00:12:49,900 --> 00:12:52,380 If that's what it was, what else would it have been? 266 00:12:53,180 --> 00:12:58,860 I don't know. You tell me. You tell me. Oh, perhaps a feeble little jab, a 267 00:12:58,860 --> 00:13:02,860 desperate pinprick, a pathetic cry for help. 268 00:13:04,330 --> 00:13:08,730 I have to say, never, never in a million years would I have guessed that you, 269 00:13:08,890 --> 00:13:10,510 that you would be jealous of me. 270 00:13:10,970 --> 00:13:14,510 Jealous? You know, I mean, okay, yes, on one level, I get it. Yes, I'm out 271 00:13:14,510 --> 00:13:17,990 there, I'm doing it, I'm living it. You're here, you're just talking about 272 00:13:18,030 --> 00:13:22,090 Okay, those that can do, those that can't teach. I understand that, but I 273 00:13:22,090 --> 00:13:25,110 thought you, you were a bigger man than that. You know, I can't believe you're 274 00:13:25,110 --> 00:13:27,630 talking to me this way. And you want to know what gave you away? What? It was 275 00:13:27,630 --> 00:13:29,310 your choice of feeble jab. 276 00:13:29,900 --> 00:13:32,620 The beginning has a few rough patches. 277 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,520 Come on, am I stupid? 278 00:13:35,420 --> 00:13:38,800 You think I'm stupid? This is perfect. This film plays perfectly from beginning 279 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:41,640 to end, smooth as silk. There's nothing wrong with it. I know it, you know it. 280 00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:45,960 But still, you have to find something, some little negative, something just to 281 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:46,960 ruin my parade. 282 00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:48,280 I am on to you, Professor. 283 00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:52,800 No, I was just trying to be diplomatic. The fact is the whole first hour of this 284 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,820 film put me into a cinematic coma. 285 00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:57,940 The exposition is boring. 286 00:13:58,460 --> 00:14:02,540 The Ellis Island stuff is cloying and your mother is so far over the top. 287 00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:07,440 Unless you want to be laughed out of every film festival between here and 288 00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:12,860 Budapest, I suggest that you edit this ponderous little home movie with a 289 00:14:12,860 --> 00:14:13,860 blowtorch. 290 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:18,560 And you're not just saying this because you're jealous. Get out. 291 00:14:22,420 --> 00:14:23,379 Miss Stim. 292 00:14:23,380 --> 00:14:24,760 Huh? What are you doing? 293 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:26,520 I'm on my break. 294 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,000 We have customers waiting. 295 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:32,440 My astrologer told me I have a big change coming, so I'm trying to figure 296 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:33,399 out. Okay? 297 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:34,400 That's it. 298 00:14:34,820 --> 00:14:36,180 What? You're fired. 299 00:14:37,500 --> 00:14:38,459 I'm fired? 300 00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:39,460 You heard me. 301 00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:41,460 That's it? 302 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:42,679 That's right. 303 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:45,980 The big change. Don't you see? It just happened. Oh, my God. 304 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:47,640 Oh, that's such a relief. 305 00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:52,500 How'd it go with Lamahu? 306 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:53,840 Not a big hit. 307 00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:57,600 It's my fourth grade science project. 308 00:14:58,220 --> 00:15:01,600 What is it? The planet Earth as it will appear in the year three million. 309 00:15:03,020 --> 00:15:04,020 It's so small. 310 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:09,680 What is that? 311 00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:12,720 Sweetie? Look at this. 312 00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:15,180 Birth certificate? 313 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:16,680 Isn't that weird? 314 00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:18,100 Many people have them. 315 00:15:18,660 --> 00:15:19,660 Look at the birthday. 316 00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:21,740 February 19th. 317 00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:24,260 Exactly. Hey, that's not your birthday. 318 00:15:24,460 --> 00:15:25,460 Exactly. 319 00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:26,760 That's weird. 320 00:15:27,020 --> 00:15:29,300 It's only off by one day. It's my birthday. 321 00:15:31,820 --> 00:15:33,760 Hello? Hi, Mom, it's me. 322 00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:38,760 Oh, Jamie, honey, I'm so glad you called. What's another word for finely 323 00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:39,940 sharpened? 324 00:15:40,660 --> 00:15:42,040 Um, honed? 325 00:15:42,580 --> 00:15:44,740 No, uh -uh. It's four letters. 326 00:15:45,540 --> 00:15:46,640 Have you got any of them? 327 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:48,900 Yeah, blank, blank, E -N. 328 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,380 Keen. Sure. 329 00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:56,920 Mom, I just found my birth certificate and all the stuff you sent me. It is 330 00:15:56,920 --> 00:16:03,420 keen. Oh, that's great. Yeah, because Australian Cuddly is a koala which 331 00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:06,080 begins with the K from keen. 332 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:07,500 Oh, funny. 333 00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:08,700 Thank you. 334 00:16:08,940 --> 00:16:10,860 You are such a bright kid. 335 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:13,240 I love you. Bye -bye. Wait, Mom. 336 00:16:13,460 --> 00:16:17,140 My mother hung up on me. 337 00:16:19,860 --> 00:16:20,860 Hello? 338 00:16:21,390 --> 00:16:24,110 Um, listen, I came across my birth certificate. 339 00:16:24,430 --> 00:16:25,650 And all the stuff you sent me? 340 00:16:26,130 --> 00:16:27,130 Yes. 341 00:16:27,350 --> 00:16:31,010 Yeah, it says my birthday is February 19th. Oh? 342 00:16:31,450 --> 00:16:33,710 Did the hospital make a mistake or something? 343 00:16:34,070 --> 00:16:38,490 Well, of course. Of course they made a mistake. I mean, what other explanation 344 00:16:38,490 --> 00:16:39,490 could there be? 345 00:16:39,690 --> 00:16:40,629 I don't know. 346 00:16:40,630 --> 00:16:43,170 Don't you take that tone with me. 347 00:16:45,870 --> 00:16:49,710 What are you talking about? I did it all for you. You were starting preschool, 348 00:16:49,970 --> 00:16:54,750 and the cutoff date was the 18th, and you were too bright a kid to stay home 349 00:16:54,750 --> 00:16:56,810 another year, and so I fudged it. 350 00:16:59,370 --> 00:17:01,110 You fudged my birthday? 351 00:17:02,190 --> 00:17:04,910 Yes, I fudged it. I'm a fudger, okay? 352 00:17:06,329 --> 00:17:09,770 I knew you were going to find out eventually. I just hoped that I would be 353 00:17:09,770 --> 00:17:10,449 by then. 354 00:17:10,450 --> 00:17:12,210 Mom, what are you talking about? 355 00:17:12,589 --> 00:17:14,030 Do you think it was easy? Huh? 356 00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:18,440 For me? Do you? Watching you every year on your fudge birthday being so happy 357 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:21,660 and then watching you on your actual birthday being nothing at all? 358 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,060 Oh, honey, I'm sorry. Please. 359 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:28,920 I'm so sorry. I won't ever do it again. Please forgive me. 360 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:30,280 Please. 361 00:17:30,820 --> 00:17:32,080 I'm going to have to call you back. 362 00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:33,300 I love you. 363 00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:36,160 What? 364 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:39,120 I wasn't born on February 18th. 365 00:17:39,460 --> 00:17:40,460 What are you talking about? 366 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,620 I was born on February 19th. 367 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:43,920 My whole life is a lie. 368 00:17:45,460 --> 00:17:48,820 Wait a second. Your whole life is not a lie. I mean, come on, you're still you. 369 00:17:49,220 --> 00:17:52,400 I've always felt like such an 18th person. 370 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:56,140 Well, maybe you could feel like a 19th person. 371 00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:57,680 My lucky number is 18. 372 00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:00,500 Change it to 19. I always bet on 18. 373 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:02,800 Well, from now on, try betting 19. 374 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:05,700 See, this just changes everything. 375 00:18:06,220 --> 00:18:09,280 It's not, you know, well, look at the bright side. Look at the bright side. 376 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:10,480 Maybe you're not a liar. 377 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:12,720 What are you talking about? 378 00:18:12,740 --> 00:18:15,560 What's her name? Dory. They're reading, all based on the wrong birthday. Maybe 379 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:16,560 I'm not a liar. Maybe. 380 00:18:16,780 --> 00:18:19,720 Oh! Where are you going? Where are you going? I'm going to go down there and 381 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:23,440 tell little Miss Planethead that there's a very, very good chance it's just 382 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:24,440 wrong, wrong, wrong. 383 00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:28,660 Oh! Do me a favor while you're down there. Ask Dory if it's possible, maybe, 384 00:18:28,660 --> 00:18:30,600 don't know. Is she possibly jealous of me? 385 00:18:41,450 --> 00:18:47,970 much more than Pisces Capricorn rising moon and Capricorn so much better so it 386 00:18:47,970 --> 00:18:54,410 doesn't say I'm a liar no quite the contrary really wrong yes I was 387 00:18:54,410 --> 00:19:01,130 aha you know in fact the truth is you're quite an honest person yes I am 388 00:19:01,130 --> 00:19:03,190 I mean according to your real chart you're extremely kind 389 00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:07,240 Well, whatever. It's nice of you to say. No, I'm not saying anything. It's all 390 00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:10,820 right here. You're intelligent, you're a sensitive listener, and you have a lot 391 00:19:10,820 --> 00:19:11,819 of charisma. 392 00:19:11,820 --> 00:19:13,920 Well, maybe I... People are drawn to you, aren't they? 393 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:17,880 Not everybody, but... Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're very insightful. 394 00:19:18,140 --> 00:19:23,800 And you have the capacity to inspire multitudes with your vision and your 395 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:30,300 I gotta say, it's pretty amazing. This astrology stuff is incredibly accurate. 396 00:19:32,159 --> 00:19:34,140 Ooh, geez louise and a handbag. 397 00:19:34,380 --> 00:19:36,900 This is quite a surprise. 398 00:19:37,380 --> 00:19:40,000 Come on in. Come on, it was all a big misunderstanding. 399 00:19:40,700 --> 00:19:41,699 Well, get out. 400 00:19:41,700 --> 00:19:45,660 It was, Nat. In fact, would you consider coming back and working for us again? 401 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,280 Murray really misses you. Oh, and I him. 402 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:49,480 Are you jashing me? 403 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:52,680 But, uh, Dory, are the planets favorable to the decision? 404 00:19:53,220 --> 00:19:54,220 I am. 405 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:55,740 Good enough for me, yeah? 406 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,900 Would you mind putting my perishables away for me? I'd like to get over there 407 00:19:59,900 --> 00:20:02,540 and see them right now. You mind if I... I'd like to see them right now. 408 00:20:07,780 --> 00:20:10,900 I have no job and I have no money. I don't really care. 409 00:20:13,020 --> 00:20:14,140 I hate big change. 410 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,460 Hey, listen, I got screwed by this whole astrology thing good, too. 411 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:20,580 Went and barked at a perfectly nice professor for no reason. 412 00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:23,500 Plus, I never even got to figure out who was jealous of me. 413 00:20:23,870 --> 00:20:26,190 That's because nobody was jealous of you. What do you mean? 414 00:20:26,610 --> 00:20:29,570 Paulie, come on. This whole astrology thing, it's a crock. I'm sorry. 415 00:20:29,790 --> 00:20:31,570 I mean, look at me. I got off scot -free. 416 00:20:32,530 --> 00:20:34,510 Doris says what? You're going to be heartbroken, Ira. 417 00:20:35,170 --> 00:20:36,170 Right. 418 00:20:36,190 --> 00:20:37,730 Like, how heartbroken am I? 419 00:20:38,130 --> 00:20:41,150 Well... She was a nice girl, though. Actually, I'm going to miss her. You 420 00:20:41,790 --> 00:20:44,830 There was something about her. You know, you don't often see girls like that in 421 00:20:44,830 --> 00:20:45,830 the city. 422 00:20:46,230 --> 00:20:47,750 My luck, she lives so far away, right? 423 00:20:48,450 --> 00:20:49,790 Because, you know, actually, they're... 424 00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:55,080 There actually could have been something there. Oh, my God. What? 425 00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:58,480 I am heartbroken. All right, come on. 426 00:20:58,780 --> 00:21:01,520 Now you're reading into it. No, Pauly, I'm not going to see her again, am I? 427 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,980 Listen to me. No, she could have been the one. I don't think so. 428 00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:05,180 Because I can't even eat. 429 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:08,100 Hey. Hi. 430 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:10,440 Oh, please tell me what eggs Benedict left. 431 00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:11,860 Two eggs, both Benedict. 432 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:15,880 Excellent. Oh, God, you're drinking cappuccino. I'm so jealous. 433 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,340 You are very loyal. Oh, that's true. You are loyal. 434 00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:29,760 Your needs are simple. Your love is unconditional. 435 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,500 Wow, this is uncanny, huh? But at times you feel taken for granted. 436 00:21:33,740 --> 00:21:37,700 Is that true? You feel like that? This angers you. This angers you a lot. But 437 00:21:37,700 --> 00:21:39,500 you have a hard time expressing your feelings. 438 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,100 Wow, well, who doesn't, then? 439 00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:45,340 But you're surprisingly instinctive. And you have no pretensions. This is what 440 00:21:45,340 --> 00:21:48,200 draws people to you. Wow, she got you pegged, didn't her? 441 00:21:49,140 --> 00:21:50,380 Let's take a look at your career. 33725

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.