Original subtitles

Tell me why I love you like I do.

Tell me who can start my heart as much as you.

Let's take each other's hand as we jump into the final frontier.

I'm about to, baby.

Also, personally, myself, I love Lou Costello.

Your father hated it.

Why was that?

It's a funny story.

Where's the funny story?

So far, nowhere.

I'm making a film about Buckmans that Buckmans won't even want to see.

It'll come together. It always does. Aren't you shooting your parents today?

They're entertaining, aren't they? Oh, they are wildly entertaining.

Oh, you look nice.

I do, you swear?

And thank God you look gorgeous.

Thank you.

Calm down.

I'm telling you, he's scared of that thing, that bibli... Biblioteca.

it is.

Look, honey, nice biblioteca.

I think it's the word biblioteca that he's scared of.

If we just called it what it is, you know, a spinning wooden book thing.

Hates that, too. I like it. I think it's unique.

Unique is not the same as good.

You hate it?

Not to the point of barking at it, but I don't love it.

Uh -oh.

What's the matter?

What's today, the 15th?

Uh, okay.

I'm supposed to see that therapist today.

We don't have a therapist.

When we were having troubles and we thought we should see one, Fran

one? Oh, the therapist.

Fran recommended.

When we were having trouble and we thought we should see one. Yeah,

I remember now. She couldn't see us. She couldn't see us right away. We still

made an appointment and it's today at 10.

So call up and tell her we don't need her anymore. We're fine now.

Okay.

You sure?

What? Well...

What, we're not fine? No, no, no, we are. Didn't you say you felt that we're

closer than ever? Yes, I did. So?

Okay.

It's really hard to get an appointment with her.

Yeah, but so what? Come on, it's like if somebody, you know, got me a great deal

on a tractor.

I guess. Plus, it's right smack in the middle of the day. Yeah, aren't you

working? Yeah, and you're working? Yeah, that's exactly when I'm filming my

parents. All right, we'll cancel. Cancel.

She may make us pay for it anyway.

You know what? I'm canceling.

All right. So what I'm hoping is, see, if this thing goes well with my parents,

I'd love them to be like the centerpiece of the film. So if I get them talking

about other relatives, then I cut to interviews that I get with all the other

relatives, and my parents become like the through line for the whole movie.

What's the matter? Maybe we should go.

We don't know.

We're happy, aren't we? Yes. So? What if we're happy for the wrong reasons?

I'll take that.

What if it's just because we're having a baby?

I'll take that.

I mean, what if the baby is just distracting us, like the problems are

there, growing and festering beneath the surface?

I'll take that.

I'm sure that's not what's happening. It's really not. Wouldn't it be

to hear that from a professional therapist?

You know what, sweetie? My feeling is, if it ain't broke, don't ask it about

childhood.

I really think we need to do this.

Really? So I'll call work and tell them I'll be late?

Okay. All right. I will call my parents. I'll tell them I'll be there late, too.

Thank you. I'm not telling them why, though. God, no.

Let me just understand this. You and I, who are very happy, we're going to go

see a shrink.

But a dog who's barking in front of you, he gets to stay home and relax? Uh

-huh. Got it.

So, what brings you here?

Um, actually, nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing? Nothing.

We are here literally for no reason.

So for those few weeks there, it was pretty rough. Mm -hmm.

But since then, we've been closer than ever. Mm -hmm. It's like the whole thing

made us appreciate what we have. Mm -hmm.

Okay, at this moment, I gotta say, it seems like you have a very easy job.

What I'd like you to do is talk to each other, each of you pretending to be the

other person.

Okay, boy, can I just tell you... I know, I know, you'll feel a little self

-conscious, but just give it a try.

Okay.

You go first.

You go first.

I did, that was me pretending to be you, saying go first.

All right.

Jamie?

Yes, Paul?

This is incredibly silly.

It really is.

Okay, your turn.

Go ahead.

Okay, don't rush me.

I'm you. Would you want to be rushed? No.

All right.

Hey, Paul?

Yes, Jamie?

You were right. We didn't need to come here. Yeah.

I feel... I feel... What do I feel?

I feel... I feel nothing in my right leg, I know that.

Can we try something else?

Sure. Okay.

I'd like you to try being totally honest with each other.

We were always honest. We really are.

Tell Jamie how you feel about her.

Good, really good.

Tell her.

Jamie?

I feel good about you.

Be honest.

What? I do. I feel good.

Is that all?

Yeah.

Because if you keep your feelings inside, you're not helping anyone.

Who's keeping? I'm not keeping.

How do you feel about Jamie right now, totally honest?

Good, really good.

Just good?

Yeah.

The tiniest dollop of angry.

But mostly really good.

Angry? Yeah, just like a sprinkle. A sprinkle of angry in like a big bowl of

good.

Just for flavoring there.

Angry about what?

You know, making me come to this when I got a movie to shoot. But it's not a big

deal. Okay, Jamie, how do you feel about what Paul said?

Angry.

You went straight to the angry?

I gave you all that good right up front.

It's harder for me to get here than it is for you, but I made time because it's

important to us.

Jamie, instead of becoming defensive at conflict, try making yourself

vulnerable.

Expose yourself.

Take an emotional risk.

Most anger comes from fear. Share your fears with him. My fears, my fears, my

fears.

I'm afraid of heights and you're selfish to put your job ahead of us.

Okay, first of all, not wanting to come here doesn't mean that I don't care

about the marriage. I care enormously about the marriage. You know that. I

didn't want to waste a whole half a day shooting.

This is so typical.

What?

Never mind.

No, no, no, no, never mind. See what happens now? If you're asking. No. Never

mind. No, what? Never mind. What?

What did I do? You know, I'm trying. You make it sound like I'm... There's no

tone. There's no tone? Oh, I hear a tone.

What you're hearing is not tone. Well, I'm hearing a tone. Well, maybe you're

tone deaf.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. I'm afraid our time is up. I beg your pardon?

All right, here's what's going to happen. I'm going to sit under the

I'm going to say action, and I want you guys to just start with how you met,

okay? Let's talk about how you met, and the main thing is just relax, okay?

Forget about the cameras. Forget we're all here. Just be yourselves, all right?

Roll film.

We're speeding. Okay. Ready?

And... Action.

Which I mentioned earlier means to talk.

About what?

About how you two met.

All right. Yeah.

A friend introduced us. He asked me out, and I said yes.

And then what?

We went on a date.

Okay, where did you go?

To the movies.

And dinner?

We went to dinner and the movies.

Okay, good.

Do you remember anything special, anything interesting about that night?

No.

Any details or anything like that?

No. Okay, cut.

You know what?

I may have misled you. You know what I said for yourselves?

Forget it. I want you to perform.

Pretend like it's Broadway, it's opening night, your own two -person show.

You're telling a story.

Dazzle them. I want you to dazzle them, all right? Yeah, so why didn't you say

that the first time? Because I'm an idiot. I don't know what. All right.

All right, roll film.

All right.

We're speeding. Here we go. Plenty of energy, enthusiasm, pop.

You ready?

And action.

A friend introduced us. He asked me out and I said yes.

I took her to the movies and dinner.

Dinner and the movies.

Cut. Cut.

What's wrong with that, Mr. DeMille? Nothing. You did terrific. It was

I'm just wondering if maybe we could do it a little bit more terrific.

More terrific? Wow. What are you saying?

Nothing. What do you mean? I can see by your face. If there's something wrong,

just tell me.

Okay, well, let me be honest.

Yes, absolutely.

Because, you know, you keep your feelings inside, you're not helping

Right.

My fear, okay, my fear is that the two of you might...

you may be coming off in an uninteresting way.

I see.

We bore you.

No, no, no, no, no, no. You don't understand. You don't bore me, but to

camera... Did you hear that, Bert?

We're not boring him. We're just boring to everybody else. No, that's not what

I'm saying. If we're so boring, why don't you shoot the couch? It's got a

lively pattern.

Mom, that...

So, we're done?

Well, look who missed all the excitement.

I had an appointment that I couldn't get out of. An appointment you couldn't get

out of?

You had to have your roots done?

You didn't want to miss cardio funk?

There's a bright golden haze on the meadow.

There's a bright golden haze on the meadow.

The corn is as high as an elephant's eye.

Lance, what's going on?

Well, it's kind of a funny story, actually.

I was giving my speech on health care to a group of school children, and I

thought it germane to mention some ways that I personally have benefited from

modern medicine.

The example sprang to mind of how I've been helped by Prozac.

Oh, my God. See? See what you missed?

I don't know what you two are so concerned about. I'm not worried at all.

Well, of course not, because you're on Prozac.

I'm finding very hard to get upset about this.

Okay.

Okay, okay.

Here's what we'll do. I have a plan. The news is out, so we'll go with it. If I

might, I... We'll explain that you take Prozac to treat a very minor condition

and that it isn't a big deal. Why do you actually take it? To control

debilitating panic attacks.

Oh, good.

Not that anyone asked, but if it were up to me, I would just merely admit that

you were on Prozac ever so briefly a long, long time ago and that you haven't

taken it in years.

Also, I'd move that table that way, but that's for later.

Okay, that's ridiculous.

That would never work. That's completely absurd. First of all, you'd have to

give a Prozac.

No, no, hold on, Jamie. Troy might be right.

You're going to stop taking Prozac?

Yes. You see, the great thing about Prozac is that being on it gives you the

strength to get off of it.

Well, if I may say, as your campaign manager, rather than your gopher, I

it's a huge mistake.

Now, now, Jamie, a good idea is a good idea, no matter where it comes from.

Hey, look, Paul, why don't we just take off?

Hey, listen, we're going to get this on film.

Ma, let me, again, let me say I'm sorry.

It's not your fault I'm boring. Maybe I should apologize to you for making you

listen to me. Ah, ah, ah, Sonny, excuse me. You're going to make a mess.

That was wrong of me to say that. And I see that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm

sorry. Forget it. Pop, you're not mad at me, are you? He's furious.

Can I at least explain to you what happened?

Jamie and I went to therapy.

You went to therapy? We went to work one time. You're in therapy?

I wouldn't say we're in. Oh, now I understand.

Everything's blamed on the mother, and I am the mother.

No, no, no.

Listen, it's not my fault you were bottle -fed.

That's what they did in those days.

Listen, I am no worse than the other mothers.

What about Jerry Markowitz's mother? She wouldn't even let him join the Cub

Scouts. She was afraid the kerchief would choke him.

You happy now, Bert? Me? Yes. Your daughter's gay. Your son is a mental

Thank God Sharon lives in New Jersey.

Ma, look, there's no reason. Sit on the couch.

Apparently, I was bottle -fed.

Lance?

You have got to help me, Jamie. I'm in over my head, and I cannot get out. Help

me, Jamie. Help me. Okay, okay, okay.

I should not be going out, Jamie. I am in no condition to go out.

Ever since I went off Prozac, I am at wit's end.

Okay, if I may say, you've only been off Prozac for 13 minutes. It's possible

it's your imagination.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I realize perfectly that this is a psychosomatic

disorder. But the most salient aspect of psychosomatic disorders is that knowing

that they're psychosomatic does nothing to ameliorate the terror they instill.

You know, the New England Journal of Medicine... Lance, maybe... Jamie, I'm

talking!

Jamie. I think the best thing for Lance right now is for you to stay out of his

hair a little while.

Excuse me. Can I talk to you for a minute?

Look, Troy, I'm going to take an emotional risk.

I feel uncomfortable with the expanded role you've taken in this campaign.

I feel you're not respecting my boundaries.

And if I may be honest, my fear is you're making a play for my job, which

me feel hurt and frightened.

Can I be honest with you?

Sure. I don't care.

Things have changed, and you're going to have to start treating me like an

equal.

Equal? I'm a salaried campaign manager. You're the coffee boy. Why don't you get

me some equal?

No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not having this conversation.

I'm running this campaign.

You're getting the coffee.

All right, I'll get the coffee.

But no more running across the street for frozen yogurt.

Really?

All right.

I'm going on a yogurt run, people.

You're going back on Prozac?

I am.

Wow, what a waste of a day. Would you please look at the mess you made?

Ma, I can only say I'm sorry. You know what? We went to the bathroom. We'll be

out of your hair in two minutes. We'll be gone.

I don't know what he's so upset about. We went to dinner in the movies.

Everybody goes to dinner in the movies. There's nothing special about that.

Oh, yeah? Which restaurant?

I don't know. Would you remember the name of the restaurant, Bert?

Emilio's.

Right, and we had hot roast.

That was a tender piece of meat. Ah, please, it was marbled, it was marbled,

just like Michelangelo's David.

Do you remember that man who sat behind us? He was a gangster. What was his

name? Oh, Frank Costello. Yeah, he was alive then.

He walked over to our table and he said to me, you have a very beautiful young

lady with you tonight.

Meaning me.

And then he said, do you mind if I dance with her? And I said, as a matter of

fact, I do.

And then Frank Costello patted the left side of his jacket because he had a gun.

And Burke reached for his belt and Costello thought he had a gun, too. But

actually, he was just loosening his pants.

I had two desserts.

Can you imagine the so -called king of the mobsters back down? He died two days

later. My husband, Paulie's father, stood up to Lou Costello. Who was that?

stood up to Lou Costello? Frank Costello.

Frank Costello the gangster?

Well, it's no big deal standing up to Lou Costello.

What's he going to do, hit you with his hat?

You stood up to Frank Costello? Ah, look, look, now he's interested.

Wait, did you get any of this? Uh, we can get it now. Yes!

I don't know, why didn't you tell this to me?

Come on, I thought you knew.

I called the therapist today and told her we weren't coming back.

Well, that's good.

Isn't it?

I guess. It was stupid to go, right?

Well, it wasn't stupid.

You didn't know.

What?

I didn't know. Well, it was your idea to go to therapy.

So you're saying it's my fault.

No, I did not use the word fault. Oh, but that's what you meant.

I wanted us to go to therapy. I bought the bibliotheca. I kissed Doug Berkus.

never seemed to mention that you almost went home with some woman whose name I

never even asked you.

Wow.

Where'd this all come from?

I'm not sure.

You want to talk about it?

In therapy?

Okay, so we'll go.

You sure?

Yeah.

You know, obviously we have some problems.

Not big problems, not a lot of problems, but it's, you know, it's not like we're

not without, not no problems.

What? We'll go to therapy. Okay.

If you have problems, therapy is the way you work them out.

Unless you're a dog and then you just eat them.

Paul and Jamie Buckman session one.

Conservatively speaking, I'll need five to twelve years for this couple.

Speaking of which, call broker.

Bye.

Paul seems defensive and frightened of his own feelings. They appear to be very

much in love. But I think...

repressed anger, which he seems happy to ignore. She, on the other hand, has a

vulnerable core, which is masked in a shark -like surface.

Major conflicts will arise, but that's a piece of some business.