Original subtitles

- [? theme music playing] - ? Kiff! ?

? Kiff! Kiff! ?

? Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ?

? Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ?

? Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ?

? Yeah! ?

- ? Kiff! ? - [? theme music concludes]

- [chuckles] - [laughs]

[both laughing]

[announcer] Brought to you by the Department of Magical Beings.

Even magic has rules.

- [birds chirping] - [? perky music playing]

That was so nice of Glarbin

to let me interview him for my class essay.

Oh, who's your essay about, Kiff?

- Ah, I wrote mine on... - [tires screeching]

[grunts, pants]

Helen, fancy seeing you here. I need to talk to you about my essay.

- [Helen] Out of my way, I'm late! - But it's about you.

- Let's hear it. - [inhales]

"...and that's why Helen's drama class

would always be magical."

Uh, Kiff, that needs some work.

[gasps] What am I doing here? [yelps]

[grunts]

Closed? No, wait. It's her fault.

If she didn't get in my way, I'd have been here on time.

Helen, Helen, we've been sending you reminders

for 17 years

to renew your magic license,

and you've just missed the deadline.

It's not fair. It's not fair.

As per the policy of the Regional Table Magic Tribunal,

your magic license is revoked.

No!

- No! - [? dramatic piano music plays]

[? music concludes]

Uh, whatcha doing, Helen?

I can't unlock my car.

Where's your key?

I threw it away years ago. I use magic to unlock it.

Hmm. I wonder if anyone has a hammer.

It's no use. There's no gas in it.

I used magic to run it.

- [sobs] - [? somber music playing]

What will I do without magic?

Open doors all on my own, like some regular schmo?

- [gasps] No! - [? music concludes]

I feel guilty. I did make her late.

Well, not really, but...

I've got to help her adjust to normal life.

Just look at her.

[Helen sobbing]

It's the least I could do. Be her teacher.

Okay.

Come on, Helen.

Let's catch a zipline back to your apartment.

- [? intriguing music playing] - [wind howling]

[doorknob rattling]

[thud]

Okay, from now on, just don't lock anything.

[? quirky music playing]

Hungy.

All right, let's make cereal.

Bet you've done that without magic.

Nope.

You use magic for everything?

[? dreamy music playing]

[? music concludes]

Cereal is easy. Anyone can do it.

[? quirky music playing]

[grunts]

Good. Now, open the box.

[Barry] Excellent form!

[groans]

What's happening?

[groans] I hate ripping open plastic.

It's too much work.

[screams]

I'm never going to be able to be a regular Joe Schmo.

[? somber piano music playing]

? I used to use magic to tie my shoes ?

? Now, I have to do it myself ?

? Like a total loser ?

? Why is everything so hard for me? ?

? I used to be extraordinary ?

? Why is everything so hard for me? ?

? The extra's gone I'm plain ordinary ?

- [? music turns dramatic] - ? My magic's gone I can't go on ?

? I can't exist like this! ?

? I have to wash and dry and fold and clean ?

? And make the shopping list! ?

? Do I need eggs? Do I need bread? ?

? The endless dread ?

? Can you please shed some light ?

? On this endless shopping list crisis? ?

It's impossible! There's no way of knowing

what needs to go on a shopping list.

And I have to change my pants?

[shouting] How?

- [? music turns somber] - ? Why is everything so hard for me? ?

? I used to be extraordinary ?

? Why is everything so hard for me? ?

? The extra's gone I'm plain ordinary ?

? I have to make the toothbrush go up and down ?

? What am I? Some kind of clown? ?

? It's so unfair ?

? Why is this happening? ?

? Why is this happening ?

? To ?

? Me? ?

[? music concludes]

Helen, if life without magic feels overwhelming,

you're not alone.

We all feel that way sometimes.

Yes! Think about all the people who never had any magic at all.

- So sad. - Ew!

But you don't have to do everything alone.

You can ask for help.

If you're not able to reach something up on a high shelf,

just ask a long-armed friend to reach it for you.

Oh, like... like that box of worm chips?

[? quirky music playing]

Wow, it's almost as good as magic.

- Help. - [? ominous music playing]

Help.

Help me.

All right, Helen. We'll be back tomorrow to check on you.

[? music concludes]

Morning, Helen. We're just here to check on you.

[loud whirring]

Helen?

Oh, hey, Trollie.

You got Helen's groceries for her? That's sweet.

Yeah, at first I was like, "I don't want to."

But then Helen explained that she didn't want to either

and that sometimes it's okay

to ask a long-armed friend for help.

Now, I'm not really a friend, but I do have long arms.

Anyway, one thing led to another,

and here I am folding her laundry.

- Trollie, what? - This is madness.

Helen, let everyone go home. People aren't like magic.

They're not an infinite resource.

You're supposed to ask for help only when you actually need it.

I understand.

Trollie.

Could you help me by removing these two?

I really, really need to end this conversation.

- [Trollie] Right, here we go. - What? Trollie, stop!

[grunts]

Sorry, friends. Helen's logic is airtight.

[sighs] This is a mess.

She's more of a menace without her magic

than she is with it.

The only answer is to get Helen her magic back.

Do you have a hammock?

I have several.

[? whimsical music playing]

[Helen grunting]

[? music concludes]

So, what's the plan when we get there?

My essay got us into this. Maybe it can get us out of it.

I'll read it to the court. Hopefully, that'll show them

that Helen deserves to get her magic license back.

Would you two stop talking? This ride is so bumpy.

I hate what we're doing.

Where am I? Huh?

[? whimsical music playing]

[all grunt]

[? music turns quirky]

Hello, Magic Tribunal.

Uh, if you're addressing us, you need to be in the pool.

- Yeah, of course. - Obviously. Sorry.

I am here to request that you please reinstate Helen's magic.

And I've written an essay about her that I think-

Uh, sorry, squirrel. I'm gonna have to cut in there.

Look, there's no way we,

the Regional Table Magic Tribunal,

are listening to an essay about Helen written by a child. Okay?

We failed. Helen's never getting her magic back.

[tribunal member] What? Oh, no.

No, she- she can have her magic back.

She just has to fill out a renewal form.

- Are you kidding me? - What?

You could just renew your magic license this whole time?

Kiff, I feel like I've been pretty clear.

I don't do forms. They're very tedious.

[grunts] Fine. I'll do it.

[tribunal member] Uh, no. Helen has to fill out this form herself.

We'll only accept a witch signature

in Helen's handwriting.

- No, no! - [? dramatic music playing]

Helen, listen to me.

This is what being a regular schmo is.

It's all breaking down boxes, charging your earbuds,

and filling out forms.

You're so lucky that you get to avoid all that

for the rest of your life.

But you just have to fill out this one form.

[sniffles]

I'll try.

[? suspenseful music playing]

[groaning, breathing heavily]

[Kiff] Pen to paper. Okay, good.

[groans]

[Barry] Helen, come on! You can do this!

- Come on, Helen! - It's so boring! I can't!

- That's it, Helen! - [groans]

[Kiff] You got it. Okay.

[grunting] I hate this!

Uh, you can't give up now!

You just have to sign! Just sign it!

- [groans] That's the worst part! - [? music crescendoes]

[screams]

- [sighs] - [? music concludes]

- Yeah! She did it! - Go, Helen! Go, Helen!

That was awful!

Good enough.

[? angelic choral music playing]

I'm magic! [laughs]

I'm better than you again!

[laughing]

- [? music concludes] - I'm proud of you, Helen.

And I think you learned a valuable-

So long, dorks!

Hello, Trollie?

You can stop folding Helen's laundry.

- [? quirky music plays] - [Kiff] Yeah, you're welcome.

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