Original subtitles

Stick a bunny in me pocket.

I'll fetch the suitcase from the bank.

Cause if you want the best things but you don't ask questions, then brother,

your man.

Cause where it all comes from is a mystery.

It's like the changing of the seasons and the tides of the sea.

But here's the one who's driving me berserk.

Why do...

Yeah, I was watching, eh?

Only Fools and Horses is one of Britain's most loved shows on TV.

Lovely, lovely.

64 episodes were made between 1981 and 2003, and it's still watched and

laughed at by millions of us every week.

With every line written by just one man.

The success of Fools and Horses can be summed up with two words, and it's John

Sullivan. The story of Derek Trotter's life is the story of John Sullivan's

creative genius.

I don't think anybody really touches John for being able to make you laugh.

And being able to make you cry.

It's time next year.

I've been billionaires.

Celebrating the wonderful comedy world of John Sullivan.

We'll be getting the inside story on the Trotters from the horse's mouth.

I was nearly fired because of that thing.

Oi! I said to John, you can't use this.

Come on, get him off!

We've also recreated some of the fence.

reunited cast members, and have talked to some of the show's most famous fans.

One of the incredible things about Fools and Horses is that you can grow up

watching it. I can't remember a time before I watched only Fools and Horses.

It's really, really, really the best.

Over the next hour, we are going behind the scenes as we look at how the shows

were put together.

As well as showing you some only Fools and Horses material, which has never

before been seen on British television.

So sit back and enjoy the definitive story of Only Fools and Horses, the show

which has given us some of the most memorable moments in British comedy.

Of course, that's just comedy. I mean, it doesn't really happen in

real life.

It's not supposed to happen in real life.

Grandad?

Still hasn't got it right.

Where you go then?

Where I go what? Well, you know, you know, start the old typing.

Yeah, be creative.

I can't just be creative at the drop of an egg, can I?

There are certain things a writer needs before he can actually start writing.

Like a story.

Oh,

what a very pleasant evening.

We, as actors, I know David and I discussed this once, couldn't wait for

Pools and Horses script to flop through the letterbox.

When we were in the office waiting for the next script, you'd have to stop

people else reading it because you needed to read it first.

But there were people going... Yes, that's right.

You can't have a laugh.

John Sullivan wrote 64 episodes in total, which were anything from 30

full feature -length epics.

We're going to Holland, Rodney.

We're going to Holland.

From John Sullivan's imagination to our TV screens took an army of BBC

production staff and a whole host of actors.

who had little time to turn each script into a comedy classic.

When we're doing the read -through, for me, that was like watching Fools and

Horses for the first time.

And we'd all sit around and we'd read the script, and the first reading, it

would go to maybe 45 minutes, because we're laughing so much. Now, this is a

Jaws -type story.

Jaws? Jaws has been done, though. Yeah, I know, I know, it's been done, but it's

different. It's called There's a Rhino Loose in the City.

LAUGHTER

It is a ro... Loose in the... As in rhinoceros.

That's right.

There's a rhino loose in the city.

What's it about, Bill?

John Sullivan, his beamy face at read -throughs, you know, if you looked up at

him when there was a particularly huge laugh line...

And he'd just be so chuffed but try not to show it, you know, because that was

his payoff, was knowing that if we round a table found it very, very funny, then

it was very likely that the 24 million people watching it were going to find it

funny too.

I used to watch John a lot and he would just keep his head down and he'd just

nod quietly to himself.

And I'd think, you clever bugger, you've just crafted this incredible gag

or joke or situation.

The table is in bed.

We're falling about. Can't breathe in fast enough.

And you're just there going, yeah, that's all right, that's all right.

Nobody knows it's escaped.

What about the eight million people living in London? Don't none of them

it? Yeah, but the ones who spot it, they're the ones who get trampled to

What about all the others?

The people in offices, the people in cabs, the people sitting on tops of

It's a rhino, Dale.

He only comes out at night.

What is it, a vampire, I know.

Once the script is written, any untold number of problems can throw production

into chaos.

We were in the production office one day and we got a phone call from Patrick

Murray, who plays Mickey Pierce.

And we were about to start rehearsals for an episode and then found out that

he'd broken his arm.

Mickey Pierce couldn't be on our screens bandaged up without it being part of

the story. And with rehearsals beginning the following day, the obvious decision

would be to cut the character from the script.

What John Sullivan did, he said, tell him to come in, I'm going to rewrite it.

And what he did, he wrote my injury into the episode.

Danny Driscoll said this was a friendly warning.

I'm sorry, Del, we had to tell him you'd taken the phones.

They've got it in their heads that you're trying to con him.

They're looking for you, Del.

So it all made sense. So I could do the episode.

And I turned up at 8 o 'clock in the morning at the rehearsal rooms and there

was no -one there.

And then suddenly the doors burst open and all the cast came in wearing false

arms and broken legs from the props department. You know, you all right,

How's it going? I went, oh.

LAUGHTER

Even with the funniest scripts, you still need comedy performers to get the

laughs out of the line.

I'm getting married.

And among such a gifted and experienced cast were a couple of leads who happened

to be two of the finest comedy actors of their generation.

As Macbeth said to Hamlet in Midsummer Night's Dream, we've been done up like

a couple of kibbutz.

We were very lucky to hit it off from day one with professional mutual respect

and, of course, a friendship as well and brothers in arms.

A very important element was the relationship which Nick and I had.

He was so easy to get along with. In other words, we were really good

During rehearsal, I always watched because I was fascinated by the way the

of them worked together.

And the timing often surprised me.

All right.

It was always just right.

But the comedy chemistry wasn't always there. In our exhaustive trawl of the

archive, we have found their first ever on -screen meeting.

Four years before any food, a curiously Del like David is being interviewed on a

kids' TV show by a familiar -looking 16 -year -old Jonathan Ross wannabe.

I was going to say, did you enjoy... Did you enjoy doing... Forgotten.

Forgotten? No, I didn't enjoy it.

Well, that is a very good point.

Thankfully for us, Sir David Jason and Nicholas Lindhurst became masters of

their craft.

Chicks. That scene where I was taking all the, well, disrobing, it's about the

timing, and it's all down to Davis for the next reaction.

Because the audience doesn't know, and he looks like, you know, everybody's

image of a...

It's got to be a series of reveals.

Yeah, well, my name is Derek Trotter of the Derek Trotter International Stars

Agency, Peckham. You can call me Del.

That make it go... Now, I've already got a confirmed booking at the

Starlight Rooms with an option on a long -term... I

don't get many bookings.

LAUGHTER Suddenly, there is no pop star there at all.

And then the final thing is that the character Tony Angelina takes out

his codpiece.

LAUGHTER It was that moment, really, which took the most

choreographing. And I remembered...

David Jason basically says, oh, no, no, no, no, no, Rod, as usual, you've got to

turn away at that point. So when I turn around with the sausage, you know, you

haven't seen what's gone before.

It was like

learning with real pros, you saw.

I've arrived. Wait a second, I'll just turn the sound up.

Rehearsals would take place over two days before the final recording, and in

search to show you some unseen gems, we have uncovered some very rare tapes of

the team at work.

Is your name Trotter?

Yes, yes, that's my name, isn't it? Is that your yellow van, Alice?

What, the one with a trotter written on the side?

Yes, that's mine. What, the one with a trotter written on the side?

Yes, that's mine. They worked to, ah, to perfectionism in the rehearsals

on everything they did, particularly for the comedy timing.

We're in the process of questioning Arne's divorce, that's real.

Ah, well, in that case, officers, look no further.

They would work, work, work till it was 100 % right.

It was me. It's a fair cop.

I've done it.

It's a fair cop.

I've done it.

You disappoint me, Uncle.

Mr. Trotter, either you're not taking this very seriously, or you don't

understand the full...

The implications of your love statement.

Yes, well, look, I am a bit pushed for time, sweetheart, so, you know, can we

get on with it?

What do you mean? Well, you know, come on, hurry up.

Come on, get them off!

Hey!

Come on, get them off!

come up with something a bit more original to that.

It's got nothing to do with me, son.

It wasn't anything to do with you.

What?

Oh, my God.

Listen.

Coming up in the show, we see when things behind the scenes don't go

to plan.

So our old skipper, Captain Conway, he used to... And how the only fools on

Horace's team... hoodwinked an audience on another classic BBC show.

What do they think they're doing there on top of the park?

Everyone thought we were a real bed.

Welcome back to the story of Only Fools and Horses as we take a look behind the

scenes and find out from the cast and crew what it was really like to make one

of Britain's most loved... Comedy shows.

Studio audience stuff, I'm sure the rest of the guys have told you, it's the

worst of both worlds, really, because you've got the technical precision of

camera, you've got the technical precision of lights, shadows, booms, all

sort of stuff, but you've also got the audience, and you could hear them

your dressing room door, and that's when the adrenaline really, really started.

OK, here we go. When the theme tune comes on to the programme, all I

and all it brings back in me is standing in the wings at White City in one of

those huge studios, feeling very much like a first night in the theatre and

thinking, oh, my God. And you knew you could stop. You knew if things went

wrong, you could do it again. You knew David particularly was a master at, you

know, making the audience, if a mistake happened, join in, which, of course...

They just loved even more.

Captain Kenworthy, he sort of allayed those fears by creating a counter

Like the day he announced there was a cholera epidemic on the ship.

Oh, did he?

Given that pressure, it's not easy for anyone.

When we first started to do the show, bless him or bust her, found that

was huge.

So our old skipper, Captain Conway, he used to... On one

particular show, he got himself in such a state that I could see that he was

beginning to lose it completely.

So I stopped the recording and I took Buster behind the set and

I said, don't worry about it, forget it. If you go wrong...

I said, the way to get back on song, I said, is to send yourself up.

They will find that funny and they will be on your side.

I think that a lot of what I'd said I'd got through to him.

Because from that moment on, Buster really started to take off.

And he managed brilliantly and became the old git that we

loved dearly.

Like one day he announced there was a cholera epidemic on the fish.

Oh, dear.

Just throwing that in.

Yes, that was a very good ad lib there, Buster. I like that, yeah.

Under the bright intensity of the studio lights, the team had years of laughter

with the studio audience, watching their every missed cue, stumbled line and

dropped prop.

I don't quite understand what you mean, Mr. Trotter.

No, well, I didn't expect you to understand straight away, Reverend. I

is a...

But going on location meant freedom from those constraints, and on one

particular occasion, all the male members of the cast went filming on a

Boys outing. The Jolly Boys outing was like five, six weeks filming on

and it was, we just had so much fun.

They had this wonderful fairground there called Dreamland, and all these

wonderful sort of retro rides, you know, a scenic railway and all the helter

-skelters and the roundabouts and so on.

And the brief was we had to go on all these rides while they filmed us.

Should I spill the beans on Paul Barber?

Yeah. Paul, who played Denville, didn't really want to go on any of the rides.

I thought it might be quite fun.

And as it started to get higher and swing more and more and more, I can see

gripping his thighs harder and harder.

And when it went over, there is no soundtrack, thank heavens, but...

The lip -readers amongst us might be able to see that Paul wasn't super happy

with what was going on.

I know what he was saying because he was screaming it in my ear, but I'll leave

it for the rest of you to decide for yourselves.

Alongside the familiar cast members...

There were dozens of one -off characters coming in and out of the show's 22

-year history.

Among them, many actors familiar to us for

their long and illustrious careers.

And some who would even go on to win Oscars.

But given the enduring love the British public have for the series, even if

you've only been in one scene... Thank you, waiter.

..you are part of a very special group.

Oi! Why's he getting seen before me?

You know, you can play such a small role, as I did, and yet still be sort of

recognised for it. Would you please keep your voice down?

No!

It's a free country, and I can share as much as I bloody well like. To be fair,

I was quite loud, and I did make a sort of a statement.

Do you hear that? You're all sodding useless!

Excuse me, sir.

What?

I was in one episode.

And yet, people come up with their grandchildren, and, you know...

The granddad will say, do you know who that is? Do you know who that is? And

little four -year -old going, Tony Angelino. And you think, I can't believe

this. Come on, Rodney, give us some cymbals.

Cymbals? Even though that episode was over 30 years ago, people would come up

and say, Metal Miggy, do the song, do the song.

One, two, I'll do the one, two, three, fours.

I told you once, Rodney, I'm not going to tell you again, son!

I don't know what to do!

I still get quite a lot of that.

One, two, three, four!

Landing a role on Fools and Horses is good enough on its own, but in his

episode, Daniel Peacock also got to perform on another classic BBC show.

As a teenager, Top of the Pops was it. I mean, that was the show to be on, that

was the show everyone talked about.

This is Boys Will Be Boys from a bunch of wallets.

So to have the opportunity to actually be on Top of the Pops was kind of

wonderful, and they didn't suddenly stop the show and say, ladies and gentlemen,

we're now going to do a little bit for Fools and Horses. They just continued as

if we were a real band, and everyone thought we were a real band and quite

the song. Actually, it's a good song.

It's a bunch of wallies. What do they think they're doing? They're on top of

pops. David Thewlis, you know, he's a big, big, big actor now. He was the

guitarist in the band, and it was a funny one. When we came off from having

Top of the Pops, we were walking down the steps, and a Spandau Ballet are

up.

And they said, you're charting?

David Thewlis. Yeah, we're number six. And they shouted at us, oi, we're number

six. So Spandau Ballet then start shouting at their management, accusing

management of lying to them.

Because everyone thinks we're a real band. Now, we're skulking away down the

corridor here.

Spandau Ballet are left having this argument about are they number six that

or not? Or is it a bunch of wallies?

Coming up, we look into the future of the Trotters.

Uncle Rodney. We were in make -up for a long time to make us look old.

Don't need that now.

And we can reveal what really went into Del's exotic cocktails.

Somewhere in this glass is the Del Boy dream.

Welcome back to the story of only fools and horses.

As we go behind the scenes with the cast and crew to give you access all areas

to find out the secrets of Britain's most loved comedy show.

The team was always striving for authenticity.

And when Del and Rekha were having a baby, John Sullivan wanted it to seem as

real as possible.

Underneath the floor we were filming in was the actual birth unit.

So they asked mums who just had a baby if any of them would volunteer. And, of

course, I think they got a lot of people saying yes. We just walked through the

ward, looked at the babies and chose a very lovely baby. There were some nice

parents who came in and that was the baby in that episode.

And I think it really did make a difference when that, you know, well

scene now where David takes the baby to the window and talks to mum.

Oh, you are such a lucky little boy.

You really are.

But you've got a mummy and daddy who think you're the most precious thing in

whole wide world.

You know, having this tiny little thing in his arms was really very moving. Just

being in the room was moving, let alone the way it was filmed.

Always on the lookout for a running gag.

When John Sullivan introduced Damien Trotter to the world, he made sure that

even a newborn would be in on the comedy.

Let me introduce you to Damien.

Yes, Rodney Trotter hoisted by his own petard, just by saying the devil child

going to arrive, and lo and behold, he did.

We receive this child in the congregation of Christ's block.

And assign him with a sign of the cross.

What is wrong with you?

I can't imagine this flat without Damien, can you?

No.

Little devil.

Not me.

No!

Just wandered in.

Cassandra, I locked the bedroom door.

He rather grudgingly loved Damien, but I think he would have done anything for

him if he stopped scaring him fartless all the time, yeah.

And it was Rodney's fear of the devil child which led to one of the most

scenes in only Fools and Horses history.

The dream sequence at the top of Heroes and Villains.

is Rodney's dream, his nightmare about Damon as he grows older and Trotter's

independent trade -in takes over the world.

And we filmed at Battersea Power Station, which was fascinating in

We decided to make it really good and we actually even shot it on 35mm. We

wanted to make it all look really filmy.

And at the time, the Battersea power station was a shell.

But it looked amazing.

LAUGHTER Our jet copters arrived, Wrecko.

I'll summon the maid.

We were in make -up for a long time to make us look old.

Don't need that now.

There you are, Rodney. Where have you been?

Damien's home for you. How is it going?

Oh, no. The state transportation workers have gone on strike.

On strike?

I thought Damien had made strikes illegal.

Yes. The police were shooting them as I left.

I thought it was very brave, but then John was a very brave writer, and why

set a part of a sitcom in the future?

That was brilliant.

That was brilliant. And when we read that, you thought, oh, my God, how will

this work? What will people think of this?

But, again, how clever to set things in the future where Damien's like the devil

and is running the world.

What's going on here? I ordered a messenger over an hour ago.

He's here, Damien.

Damien's here.

Uncle Rodney.

Such fun doing that. I think we would have liked to do a whole episode like

that, you know, more of it.

Oh, I loved it, and being the maid was great.

Sandra?

What are you doing here?

Damien took over my bank and fired me.

It was a really, really interesting sequence. I mean, for everybody, you

design, make -up, costume, artists, the whole lot, just because, yes, it was

completely different to anything that we would normally do.

This isn't fair.

Rodney.

He's not right.

He shouldn't be doing this.

Rodney. Yeah, I mean, what a clever idea, because I think when an audience

watched that, they would have thought, well, this isn't the normal only film.

What on earth?

And then it sprung into just being a dream.

Rodney.

Rodney.

Rodney.

Rodney.

Rodney.

Rodney, wake up, you dipstick!

As well as coming up with fresh and unusual ideas for storylines, John

also enjoyed long -running gags that returned each series.

Del's catchphrases.

Lovely jump. His malapropisms.

It was like St. Paul's journey on the road for Tabascus.

His gift for languages.

Par de calais, as they say in France.

And, of course, his sophisticated taste for the finer things in life.

You don't like those sort of surroundings, do you? I mean, champagne,

country clubs?

Oh, no, I hate it, Alan, I hate it. It's all put on.

I mean, those people just do things for effect.

Those drinks were always spectacular.

What you want is, uh, you want a shot of tequila and a shot of coconut rum.

One of creme de menthe. A large drambuie with lime.

Just a smidgen of Campari.

Topped up with soda, lots of ice. The merest suggestion of Angostura's

Slice of lemon and a little cherry on the top.

Two halves of lager, love.

He thought everything gave him the height of sophistication and put

him like that many cuts above the average person because his drinks always

an umbrella on it, you know.

Lager top for Rodney and I'll have a Baileys and Cherryade.

Somewhere in this glass is the Del Boy dream.

You know, that there, that right there is like, I don't drink pints.

I don't drink out of a bottle.

I drink these cocktails, mate.

That's what I drink, boy, see?

It just sums it up. In that...

Nag's head, the pub that we all know, he was like, no, no, no, this is what I'm

going to drink, because one day I'll be in Miami on a beach drinking this. It

was just brilliant.

See you in a minute.

There was a few of us made the drinks.

They weren't so disgusting that he couldn't drink them, but there was quite

mix in there, and you don't have quite the juices that you have nowadays, so it

was like blackcurrant and orange juice mixed up together, which wasn't very

tasty.

You know, bonnet to douche.

Lovely jubbling.

But of all the recurring props, long -running gags, and characters'

catchphrases... During the war, huh? During the war, we pursue the dream

There's one more than any other which says, only fools and horses.

The van.

Well, I mean, it's a joke in itself, isn't it, the van?

Couldn't we sell this and get something more useful?

Like what?

Like a bus pass.

Del Boy was in love with this thing, and you'd have thought, because of his need

to be a success and a yuppie and a, you know, that he wouldn't have been seen

dead in that machine. But for some reason, he didn't see that the trotter's

was an old banger.

Do you reckon you could get one of your mechanics to have a look at my van?

I know just the bloke. He had a family bereavement recently. He could do with a

good laugh.

I know because I used to have an old car.

But when the engines get very warm, they pull oil up from the sump and the oil

burns and you get grey smoke coming out the back.

So we got a plastic bottle with a pipe and I said, I'll sit in.

passenger seat, and I'll press it and force oil into the carburettor.

You've got to be a bit careful how much oil you put in, because if you put too

much in, it will jam up the cylinders.

So I've got this rear -view mirror, and I'm watching the smoke coming out the

back. I'm thinking, ooh, that's a bit much.

I've got to be careful. No, I could do it a bit more.

There was often big stunts in Horse and Horses. One of the biggest, probably,

was the three -wheeler car chase.

It is my jungle, and I'm at the top of the tree.

It ended up with Rodney driving the three -wheeler and being chased by these

yobs in an American car.

We had lots of three -wheelers, actually, in the show.

There were many for different purposes. They were all made to look the same. And

that particular one that did the jump had to be specially reinforced

Why are we going so fast?

I love speed.

You said we were going to cruise.

Yeah, but I like to cruise quickly.

You don't tend to fly through the air on a humpback bridge, as you'll know.

We even had to put ramps round on one side of it.

And a stuntman managed to get it in the air as it leapt over the bridge.

It was amazing.

Join us in the final part of the show where we find out the story behind the

title and theme song. Before I went into the studio, I had to have that nine

pints to try and calm my nerves.

And we review some behind -the -scenes footage which has never been broadcast

ever before.

I think he's working now, Del.

All right, come on in. Come and get in the shop, then. That's it. Stay in

Welcome back.

as we look behind the scenes of Only Fools and Horses and find out how it

the classic show we all know and love.

Oh, there you go, Chief.

After so many outstanding episodes, we now take for granted all the show's

larger -than -life characters and perfect plot lines.

Buenos dias.

But in the beginning, even the name couldn't be agreed upon.

The title of Only Fools and Horses had quite a difficult birth.

Originally, John had written it as Reddies.

That was just really a working title.

He'd wanted to call it Only Fools and Horses, and that was from the old adage

Only Fools and Horses Worked.

So I used that, and nobody knew what it was.

The BBC, they tried everything to change it. I went in one day, and I think it

was the first time I met Gareth Gwendolyn, and we just had a bit of

drink. I said, they want me to come up with this other title, and I just can't.

And he said, he gave me the best advice ever. He said, go in there and just say

to them, I can't think of anything, I'll leave it with you.

He said, because they won't be able to.

And I did.

And I thought, God, I've really taken a gamble here, because they might come

back and say, we're going to call it something really stupid.

And about half an hour later, they phoned up and said, yeah, all right,

with Only Fools and Horses. So he's absolutely right.

I'd shot six episodes before I plucked up courage to say, so what's it actually

mean?

Only fools and horses, dot, dot, dot.

Because at the time they hadn't recorded the new theme tune, it was just Ronnie

Hazlehurst, sort of generic bit of sitcom music.

When we did the first series, on the opening script, I wrote the title music

should be Chad and Dave, Honky Tonk, that kind of style.

And Ronnie Hazlehurst is a very nice man.

great composer, but it wasn't right.

But prior to that, I'd done a cassette of the version now with me singing, and

gave it to Ray and said, well, how about this one?

And he said, yeah, let's do that.

And he said, well, as you've written down Chaz and Dave, let's go to them. So

went and asked them, and they said, yeah, they'd do it.

And then we had it all booked in the studio, and about four weeks before we

in, They had a number one hit with a song called Ain't No Pleasing You, and

couldn't get them.

So Ray said, well, you did that, you'd better come in and sing it.

The first time you find out that's John Sullivan doing that, you go, is it?

And you're thrilled.

Before I went into the studio, I had to have about nine pints to try and calm my

nerves.

Nine pints usually I'm on the floor, but I was stone cold sober because of the

nervousness of actually going to that studio.

It is the most iconic of sitcom

theme tunes. There's an authenticity about the words.

There's fun in trying to sing along with it.

And it is one of the few sitcoms that has a different beginning to an end

tune.

Trevor France's tracksuits from a mush in Shepherd's Bush.

It's beautiful, isn't it? I mean, Shakespeare couldn't have written better

that, could he?

The great song written by John Sullivan about Hooky Street.

actually epitomises and describes exactly the world at large at that

moment in time.

Hooky Street

is

John Sullivan's musical homage to the backstreet deals where shady characters

can get their hands on anything you want.

What do you do, make Mr Tea?

The British public, as well as fans across the world, found the Trotters'

dealings hilarious.

But there were certain people in authority who didn't see the funny side.

Chris Woodhead, who was then the government chief inspector of schools,

criticised the programme, saying that the Trotters were poor role models.

And I think John Sullivan was quite offended by this, as one might expect.

Occasionally, like, you'd get somebody in the...

the Houses of Parliament, and they would be saying, oh, you're no better than

Delboy, you're a sort of Delboy. Well, that paints the image that they were

villains.

That is not the case. John Sullivan sort of hit back in an article in a

newspaper saying, you know, the Trotters might not be perfect.

Dal's business deals are clearly not squeaky clean. But compared to perhaps

activities by politicians and by some captains of industry, Dal was not a bad

man. Dal had raised his brother, looked after his elderly grandfather and then

uncle. He, you know, the show was rooted in family values.

LAUGHTER

It's you, Del Boy.

It's all right. Go out and buy yourself a crate of odoritas.

Yeah, I've heard they're good.

Oh, they are, they are. Bloody murder to swallow, though.

But I think because it was so clearly a comedy world it was inhabiting, I don't

think they ever felt like, well, you know what, we're encouraging this.

I'm amazed, though. Nowadays, they probably have a warning at the front,

BBC does not endorse the kind of behaviour carried out by Del Boy and his

of ruffians.

Apart from the social pariahs some politicians accused them of being, the

Trotters were in fact upright citizens, as we are able to reveal with these rare

and previously unseen fools and horses sketches.

I think it's working now, Del.

All right, come on, come and get in the shop then. That's it, stand there.

All right.

Sound good?

Good evening, Chet.

This is Derek Trotter talking to you from a secret location somewhere in

southern England.

It's high... It's high... You dipstick, Rodney! In the first,

Dales, Rodney and Albert send a message to the British troops fighting in the

Gulf War.

Written by John Sullivan, this sketch has never been broadcast before, so

you were at the recording or served in Iraq, this will be a first.

Right, now, listen, lads, I'm sending you this freewheel van.

Packed to the gunnels with goodies.

Ooh, that's a nice gesture, Bill. Yeah, well, I'm a nice sort of person, aren't

I? And I'm selling them to you at knock -down prices.

Now, what I'm saying is you are actually selling stuff to our troops in the gun.

At knock -down prices, Rodney.

So there you go. You're going to get a bargain of a lifetime. I'm doing my bit

for king and country.

Everyone's a winner.

Vent a tear, as they say in Saint -Tropez.

No, seriously, though.

Boys, we just wanted to say from us, the Trotters, and all the people back here

in the UK, we're very proud of what you've done.

I know you've worked hard. We can't wait for you to come back here safe and

sound, safe and buy us all a pint.

I suppose it's character -led again, isn't it? We know who they are, we know

what they're talking about, and John, as usual, has slipped a few gag lines in

which are funny.

The second sketch is a rare treat we have unearthed from Comic Relief.

as the Trotters do their bit for aid to Africa, which hasn't been shown on

British TV in 20 years.

You're in a war?

Oh, no.

That's all real hardship.

Refugees, entire families have lost their homes and didn't know where their

babies' next meal were coming from.

Same thing's happening today.

You think you're all up, Rodney?

Well, think about Africa.

What are you talking about? I mean, if he can't afford to go to Greece, he

certainly can't afford to go to Africa.

I think he means, you know, all the starving people in Africa.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that's right. We never really think about that, do we? Well, you know,

think we're hard up, but we've got a roof over our head, don't we? And we eat

every day.

That's what I've always said, wasn't it?

One man's flaw is another man's feeling.

We couldn't help them people back in 1941 because we didn't have anything

ourselves.

The times have changed.

I'd love to be able to just open my door and walk back into 1941.

How can anyone just walk back to 1941?

That's stupid.

Yeah, all right. Good night, sweetheart.

Yeah.

Stupid Albert.

I mean, I'm not a detective inspector, but even I can work that one out.

The nice, lovely little scene.

I did notice that they made a sort of a quip to Goodnight Sweetheart, which I

thought was clever. I mean, I was surprised by that. It's kind of one of

rules. You go, well, you know, don't do that. Why would you do that?

You're kind of breaking the fantasy here on what this is supposed to be. But I

think if there's ever a time you can do that, it's for something like Common

Relief. This isn't really only Fools and Horses. We are working for Comic

Relief. And what we would like to say at this specific moment in time is give us

some dosh.

Well, they may send it to Comic Relief, not literally to us. Leave this to me,

will you, Rodney?

I think you'd watch that and you'd send in your money, wouldn't you?

Because there's two national icons telling you about...

how other people's lives aren't quite as good as yours. So yeah, I think it's a

real tribute to John and David and Nick.

And it's also another example of taking a really, really tricky subject and

making it funny and also working. Yeah.

We were so lucky, we felt, that we got a part in a lovely show.

I think I'm in love.

My wife always says to me, you'll never quite understand the phenomenon of this

show because you're there, you're that close to it. You don't see the big

picture, and I guess not.

I don't think I've worked in anything which has been so genuinely friendly.

We just all get on.

Such a fantastic time doing it.

My name is Ivor Hardy.

To work with John Sullivan and the team was a really exciting time in my life.

Everybody smile!

I am smiling.

We wanted it to succeed, and everybody who was involved in it worked their

rocks off to make that happen. And in the course of that, because

we all believed in it and because we all loved it, I hope... History will prove

that I think we did it pretty well.

No income tax, no VAT, no money back, no

guarantee. Black or white, rich or poor, we'll cut prices that are

strong.

God bless Hookie Street.

Viva Hookie Street.

Long live... This book hits you same Monday.