Original subtitles

Stick a bunny in me pocket.

I'll fetch the suitcase from the bank.

Cause if you are the bestest, but you don't ask questions, then brother, I'm

your man.

Just where it all comes from is a mystery.

It's like the changing of the seasons and the tides of the sea. But here's the

one who's driving me better.

Why do...

Yeah, I was watching that.

Only Fools and Horses is one of Britain's most loved shows on TV.

Lovely, lovely.

64 episodes were made between 1981 and 2003, and it's still watched and laughed

at by millions of us every week. What are you doing? I'm trying to get the

of Agford.

With every line written by just one man.

The success of Fools and Horses can be summed up with two words, and it's John

Sullivan. The story of Derek Trotter's life is the story of John Sullivan's

creative genius.

I don't think anybody really touches John for being able to make you laugh.

And being able to make you cry.

It's time next year.

I've been millionaires.

Celebrating the wonderful comedy world of John Sullivan.

we'll be getting the inside story on the Trotters from the horse's mouth.

I was nearly fired because of that scene.

Oi! I said to John, you can't use this.

Come on, get him off!

We've also recreated some of the sets, reunited cast members, and have talked

some of the show's most famous fans.

One of the incredible things about Fools and Horses is that you can grow up

watching it. I can't remember a time before I watched any Fools and Horses.

really, really, really the best.

Over the next hour, we're going to be looking at the brothers who are at the

heart of the series, Del and Rodney Trotter. What a 42 -carat plonker you

are!

We'll also be looking at the rollercoaster relationship the show had

BBC. Who are those terrible people? Do we have to have their show?

And a very special Christmas sketch, which hasn't been shown on TV for over

years. We needed someone to promote our product.

But don't!

So sit back and enjoy the definitive story of Only Fools and Horses, the show

which has given us some of the most memorable moments in British comedy.

Of course.

That's just comedy. I mean, it doesn't really happen in real life.

It's not supposed to happen in real life.

Grandad?

Still hasn't got it right.

You've got room to talk.

You have been nothing but an embarrassment to me from the moment you

You couldn't be like any other little brother, could you, eh? And come along a

couple of years later after me. Oh, no, no, not you. You had to wait 13 years.

They're brothers, and that's a number thing. John Sullivan said, yeah, they're

brothers. Nick, listen in there, it's David Jason's brother.

And you go, all right.

Delham Rodney first appeared on our screens in 1981.

And over the following 32 years, their rollercoaster relationship was central

every single episode.

You little plonker.

It was the ultimate love -hate relationship, really. I mean, they were.

They needed each other and they despised each other at the same time.

Well,

of course, he's celebrating, isn't he?

Celebrating what?

Well, hasn't he told you? He's just heard from the clinic he's got an all

-clear.

Delby and the older was looking after Rodney.

It was very father and son.

Rodney couldn't really overstep the mark because that was his big brother and

he'd looked after him since he was so high.

What have you ever done for me?

What have I done for you? I brought you up.

I fed you, I've clothed you, I picked you up when you fell down, I wiped your

tears away.

And as only an older brother could, Del used their absent mum as emotional

collateral to get Rodney to do exactly what he wanted.

That's where Del's manipulative part of his character comes into play.

Last week we was having a row about whose turn it was to go down a chipper,

yeah? And you claimed that mum said, on her deathbed...

Send Rodney for the fish.

Rodney was always very sad that he never really knew his mother.

But at the same time, Del was taking the piss a bit with the deathbed

soliloquy. I remember what Mum said to me on her deathbed.

Del, she said, please give little Rodney all the encouragement that you can.

Try to make him feel normal.

Never, Del.

Never hold him back.

She didn't half -say a lot on her deathbed.

There's a stick to beat Rodney with, basically.

What's that rumbling noise?

I didn't hear nothing.

No, it's all right. It's Mum turning in her grave.

Oh, no, stop that again, Del.

It's obvious you're stitching me up. Look at you. You have three or four

of clothes a day.

Me, I've got one suit come from an almost new shop.

It's embarrassing sometimes.

Rodney knew that there was a better life out there. He could leave this little

council estate and he wouldn't have to be trussed up with his brother and his

grandpa or his uncle all the time. There must be a way out of this.

One, two, three. I do the one, two, three, fours. One,

two, three, four!

When Rodney joins a band with ambitions to storm the charts, it's Big

Brother who becomes their manager.

Rodney sees an opportunity to get out.

be in this band he can be on top of the pops he could he can make some some

legitimate money therefore you've got one of those glimpses into his

as to he doesn't want to be a street trader like his brother anymore he wants

something else in life but dell is more interested in making a quick quid

than his brother's aspirations to be a pop star and books the band's first gig

to be at the shamrock club on paddy's night

Rodney is so passionate and keen to be in the band and be a good drummer.

And, of course, Del drags him back into the world of ridiculous awfulness.

I mean, you didn't really think that you were going to go nowhere, did you?

I mean, just take a look at them other three.

They'd got about five and a half brain cells between them and one of them was

the blink, I tell you.

John was very clever at dangling these dreams and then, for one reason or

another, crushing them.

I don't believe it.

It's that... It's that bunch of wally.

What do they think they're doing? They're on top of the box.

Rodney's saying, you stop me doing it, you stop me chasing my dreams, you stop

me having these aspirations.

Del is quite happy to crush his brother. That's almost Shakespearean.

I always said they could make it, and you convinced me they couldn't.

That's always been your trouble, Rodney. You're too easily swayed.

What about me, eh?

What about me? I was their manager.

I'm going to stick this right over your jack, sir.

On Screen Brothers for over 22 years. The comedic chemistry between Del and

Rodney you can put down to casting alchemy.

Nick was cast when I was asked to come and read for Derek Trotter,

and Nick read with me.

There was a chemistry there that, well, it was just there. You couldn't plant

it, you couldn't work on it. It was just there.

Beneath all this finery, there lies a book.

Now, that surprises you, doesn't it?

No.

We suddenly realised quite early on that we had very different styles of acting.

David's always got a drink or a cup of tea or a plate of breakfast. He's always

whizzing around the set, he's going to the kitchen, he's lighting a cigar and

all that sort of stuff.

And I suddenly thought, well, if we both start doing that, you're not going to

be in shot. So one of us better sit down and just...

sit at the table or sit on the table or sit in the armchair. The whole set -up

of that show was that David was the driver, the energy, and Nick was the

reactor, so that David could punch a gag.

Fancy a curry?

You cut to Nick, and Nick would react, and you get another laugh on the

reaction.

So they were an incredible team.

Coming up, we look at the rivalry between Dell and Rodney.

Rodney got his own back.

Properly. We ain't got a car phone.

As well as only Fools and Horses material, which hasn't been broadcast in

28 years.

You don't even know what ethics are, do you?

Ethics? They can make model airplanes, don't they?

It's absurdly electric.

Welcome back to the story of Only Fools and the Horses as we take a look at

those brothers in arms, Del and Rodney Trotter.

Don't you look at me in that tone of voice, Rodney!

They were always bickering. They'd get in each other's way, they'd go in each

other's hair, they'd trot on each other's toes regarding girlfriends and

that sort of stuff.

Oh, he's gone to sleep.

Bless him.

So you want to get a nice tan for the girl, then, do you?

I'll give you a nice tan, all right?

There was a certain undermining that we would always do to each other. As soon

as one was getting a little too big, the other one would come in and steal his

thunder.

Oh!

Does your face hurt?

Only when I smile.

Rodney's got this hideous red tan.

The girl, she's friends with paragliders, and Del Boy's sort of been

that, oh, yeah, I can do all of that. What am I going to do, Rodney, eh? I

tell them I'm scared, can I, eh?

No!

No, you make yourself look all right, dipstick, in front of everyone.

It was one of the first times that Rodney got his own back.

Properly. Rodney does the bluff and says, yeah, OK, don't worry, I'll get

out of this, I'll pretend that the phone's ringing in the car.

Hello! I can hear ringing, Rodney.

Eh?

Despite the occasional falling out and the odd threat of physical violence...

I'm going to kill you, Rodney!

When it really came down to it, nothing could come between the two brothers.

They'd take the mickey out of each other all the time, but they would also do

anything for each other.

If I'd gone to the police every time you said you were going to kill me, you'd

still be slopping out in parkers!

Though he doesn't show it most of the time, Dale loves Rodney.

And that does come out occasionally when...

I think Del takes a beating for Rodney. As far as I'm concerned, Del, you're no

longer my... What the bloody hell's that?

It's all right, it's all right. No, I just, you know, I just walked into a

That's, again, the recurring theme of brotherly love that's strung through

of the episodes.

And that is the great thing. There's affection.

The easy thing to do in things like that, especially working in class, is

everyone arguing.

Because I'm finished with you.

I've washed my hands of you.

As far as I'm concerned, you don't exist.

The fact they really, really loved each other, that's a thing that's hard to

pull off and some writers shy away from.

And Rodney.

What? It's been raining and roads will be treacherous. Drive carefully.

That was the lovely thing about doing John's work.

you had a chance to really explore the emotions of a relationship of

two brothers like that.

Cheers.

When Rodney gets married,

Marlene says to Del, you know, why didn't you ever get married, Del?

All the birds of eye went out, whatever they wanted to get married, but they

didn't want to bring Rodney up.

Especially the way he went through shoes.

Anyway, what was I supposed to do?

Get married and put Rodney into care?

No.

So I elbowed him.

That's why he's family, isn't he?

And that's, I think, the core of why the show is as successful as it is.

Del has this big heart, and it's family.

It's really good to be back, Del.

They needed each other and they were locked together.

That's the magic of the show, really. You felt like you knew them and you

about them. Even though you wanted to see them getting in and out of scrapes,

you just wanted them all to be okay.

I couldn't wait for the postman to bring...

a Fools and Horses script through the door. I couldn't wait. I was like a

at Christmas.

Read every comma of it. It would just embroil you into this plot line, and

there'd be this huge laugh, and then there'd be this terrifying tragedy.

You know, on the next page, it was an astounding read.

Stay here, stay here. Excuse me, can you tell me which ward Mrs Trotter is in,

please? In a comedy writers' meeting, if somebody put their hand up and said,

how about in this Christmas sitcom, in this Christmas episode, let's do a

miscarriage? Shut up, what are you talking about? You can't do a mis...

Sullivan could.

We did enjoy tricking the audience sometimes.

You'd be going, OK, you're watching a sitcom, yes, you are, of course you are,

but we're going to start talking about some heavy stuff.

Cassandra needs your strength.

Are you going in there?

I don't want no sobbing, no booing.

You just give her comfort and understanding.

All right?

All right.

I read the script through and at the end I realised John Sullivan can do that.

He can make this terribly painful thing.

funny and sad and in life things are funny and sad i'm sorry rodney

it

integrated the comedy into the sadness you know

it was perfect get a very sad melancholy moment and then this really funny

moment because in the end it's comedy That happens, and it happens to

And John was making the Trotters very real, as opposed to just comic.

While refusing to come to terms with Cassandra's miscarriage, Del confronts

in one of the most emotional scenes ever filmed in Fools and Horses history.

We, I think, rehearsed it twice, just reading it from the script, and Tony,

director, said, right, we're going to leave it.

We're going to leave it at that.

We're not doing it again until we shoot it. And I thought, it's not giving us

much time.

It's broken down.

Oh, the lift, it's broken down. Oh, the poxy bleeding council.

But Tony, being a very clever director, realised that the more it's rehearsed,

the more of the rawness and the emotion will have been rehearsed out of it.

We were looking forward and all we could see in front of us was this big, wide

highway and we were just cruising down it and all of a sudden it came to a

shuddering halt.

Just like this pocky lift.

Suddenly happy families became dungeons and dragons.

And I've never felt such pain like that in all my life.

Is Cassandra hurting?

Of course she is.

How do you know?

You haven't talked to her about it.

You could drop a pin in the studio.

The atmosphere was incredible. It's so exciting when two actors get to change

atmosphere like that.

It's almost as if I don't talk about it and it might not be true.

But it is. I know, I know, but if I don't say it...

If you don't say what?

We lost our baby.

But you did.

And you have said it.

Yeah, I said it.

It broke the nation's heart.

There wasn't a dry eye in the...

The studio that night. It was just heartbreaking.

Still makes me well up thinking about it.

Just been lying, haven't I?

Yeah.

And what about Cassandra?

Not her.

Cassandra can't tell a lie.

Raquel can.

The moment one leaves my lips.

It's also John Sullivan at he's most brilliant. We were a group of okay

that were made We were raised because of the quality of that script The

only

way

to get you talking

Can't run away in a broken list

Moments

like that take it away from Comedy from situation comedy and it becomes a

situation comic drama John managed to marry the two, and that's what makes the

difference between, say, some sitcoms and Fools and Horses.

Coming up, we see how the Trotter brothers finally made their fortune.

And then very quickly lost it.

Let's face it, if anyone could lose millions of pounds, it was those two.

Shut up.

We're in a bit of bobber here, bruv.

Welcome back to the story of Only Fools and Horses as we look at the ups and

downs of the brothers Del and Rodney Trotter.

I'll tell you, Rodders, this time next year, we will be millionaires.

Everyone always wanted Del Boy to become a millionaire.

Everyone, everyone I met in the streets, they made suggestions.

Maybe he should win the lottery.

And it was... John was hearing suggestions about how...

how he would actually make it in the end. What's that?

Um, it's a gas tank.

No, I mean on top of it.

Oh, that's just an old watch I got out of a house clearance years ago.

Everybody was trying to find out how did they become millionaires.

Yes. And John sold the story of they won the lottery.

Yes. That's right.

Most of them, stupid enough, swallowed it. There was only one lady, a very well

-known lady, a critic from the Daily Express, said, I cannot believe a writer

John Sullivan's quality to take the whole day on the fools and horses and

they won the lottery.

It's not classy enough.

All right, is there any good, then?

Good.

John Harrison was just about the finest watchmaker of his time, of any time.

If this is what I'm beginning to think it is...

God, I'm shaking.

Why, you didn't have that much to drink last night, did you?

John, two years to research all that.

Watches and things.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, he was a stickler for getting it accurate and getting one of his great

strengths. Have you any proof that this watch is your property? A receipt,

something like that?

Oh, well, no, if you don't keep receipts, they just clutter the place

They had to prove that they owned it. So if you go back to the very, very first

episode ever of Only Fools and Horses, Rodney's sitting and entering what they

bought into a ledger book, which Del tells him.

not to do.

So

when

they do need to prove that they own this watch before they can sell it, they go

back to this one ledger book that they've got and it's in there. So that's

proof that they need.

for two paintings, four jugs, one rocking chair, one silver fob watch

Harrison.

Good boy, Rogers.

What have I always told you? I've always said, always keep the receipt.

But he also tells you that they've been millionaires since episode one.

I'd like to start the bidding at £150 ,000.

Well, let's talk about John Sullivan and long -running jokes, shall we? When I

read that episode, I thought, you clever bugger, you've just crafted this

incredible situation.

But that's his genius.

You mean it ended up at £300 ,000?

It's still going on.

Oh, come on, let's get back up now.

Three and a quarter.

The bid is in the room.

Three and a half.

350 ,000 quid!

Three and three quarters.

Four, thank you.

The bid stands at four million pounds.

The Harrison watch is still out there. I mean, if people find it, they too could

become millionaires like the Trotters.

John Sullivan, never one to do things by halves, made the brothers

multimillionaires with the Harrison watch, fetching £6 .2 million at

You want to go first, or should I?

Well, why don't we go together?

Yeah, yeah, all right.

One, two, three.

Yeah!

Well, from an actor's point of view, I thought, well, that's it.

We're finished.

We're not going to do any more after this because we've achieved our dream.

Odell has achieved his dream of being a millionaire, so that's the end of this

particular gravy train.

Millionaires at last.

That rolls right out of here.

I'm going to buy it.

Oh, that's a good one, Rodney!

This episode of Only Fools and Horses, which saw Dell and Rodney finally

their dream, is the most watched show in British TV history.

Another remarkable accolade in its 22 -year run, which saw sustained critical

and public acclaim, along with 25 TV awards.

You bought this roller for me?

Why?

John came to the final night shoot, which he didn't used to do. He never

come on a night shoot. I said to him then, I've been dreading this shot.

Because I know this is the last shot.

And he just went very quiet.

And I suppose now I'm not sure whether he just didn't want to respond or

he thought, just wait, I don't know.

Come on, Rodney, this is our big chance.

He who dares wins.

This time next year we could be billionaires.

When they did ride off in the sunset with their millions, it would have been

great to finish it. But I was like everybody else.

But do another couple.

After an absence of five years, they were back.

When we came back after they became millionaires, John said to me, I've got

get them back to being what they were because there's nothing funny about rich

people.

But the trotter's high rolling and jet setting was confined on screen to less

than three minutes.

If anyone could lose millions of pounds, it was those two.

That's enough to... He had to keep failing in

order to pick up, pick himself up, dust himself down and start again.

Having lost their fortune gambling on the futures market, the Parkless

had to do a rather hasty runner and only had one place to go.

I think it was really nice that they ended up back at the same place and

continuing to strive.

It's no good looking at me with that Anne Robinson face.

I'll look at you any way I like.

Delft was still saying, I tell you this, the way things are going this time next

year. We're going to be flying high because my plans are going to work out

it's going to work. We're going to come out top dog.

Once more, Dell is looking for a get -rich -quick scheme and bags a slot as a

contestant on the fictional TV game show Gold Rush with Jonathan Ross as the

host. This is the fastest game show on TV. This is Thursday, this is live, this

is Jonathan Ross and this is Gold Rush.

I was super excited because A, Fools and Horses is a legendary show. You know, I

mean, it's like part of our sort of rich cultural tapestry. And the chance of

doing something on screen with David Jason, who's one of our finest comic

actors, was also kind of scary but exciting at the same time. So, of

leapt at the chance.

For £50 ,000, here it is.

Which classical guitarist wrote the opera The Child and the Enchantment? Was

Ravel, Segovia or Rodrigo?

When I sat down to sort of, like, do the lines, they call them run the lines,

obviously, David, I forgot all of them.

I mean, I forgot, my mind went completely blank.

Oh, in that case, Jonathan, I'm going to have to use me old SOS, aren't I? Yeah,

I think that's probably wise. Who would you like to be your saviour tonight,

David? My brother, Rodney.

So I had to say, well, normally when I'm in the studio, I have it on autocue. Do

you have it on autocue? Oh, yeah, we can put it on autocue. I said, well, why

don't we put it on autocue just so it looks more like I'm really hosting the

show? That wasn't, it was just I couldn't remember the lines.

Was it?

Sadovia or Rodrigo?

Ravel.

How sure are you?

100%, Derek.

Good boy, Rodders.

Derek, you don't have to take his answer. You know that, don't you?

No, no, no, no, but he knows what he's talking about. It's Ravel. So you don't

want to change your mind?

No.

Derek?

That was the wrong answer.

Del Boy is sort of driven by this desire, which we know won't really make

happy, but at the same time, you want him to get it because you like him so

much. Can I ask who's calling, please?

Bill. It's the producer of Gold Rush. He wants to talk to you. Oh, no. In

typical John Sullivan fashion, there is a twist and a chance of redemption where

Del could win the money.

What?

No.

No?

He said there's been a mistake.

It was Ravel.

No. I knew I was right.

Yeah. He said I could take the £50 ,000 and go back on the show.

Yes!

Oh,

have a day off, will you, you lot?

Who do you think this is?

Eh? Look, you can hear the jukebox in the pub.

Bloody Nicky Pit. I'm going to murder him. No, no, no. Get in the back of the

jukebox. Don't worry. Shh, shh, shh.

Yeah, I'll tell you what we would like you to do.

Give all the money to charity.

Yeah? And if you phone here once again, I'm going to come down there and kick

your arse into Shreddy Duck.

Goodbye.

See? That's it.

Jonathan? What?

He said give the 50 grand to charity.

What a nice guy. I found that I'd saved a letter that John Sullivan wrote to me

when he asked me to be in Fools and Horses. And it says, Dear Jonathan, here

the sequences of the script concerning the game show. And then he brackets, I

won't bore you with the whole script, not unless you're having trouble

Which is...

remarkably self -deprecating when you think about, you know, it's Fools and

Horses he's talking about, but I suspect, like most people who are really

at what they do, there's no arrogance and there's no kind of bullishness and

there's no desire to show off. And then he wrote, I've written a bit of patter

for you, but it's just my attempt at your style.

The script isn't carved in stone and will listen to any suggestions you may

have. Hope you enjoy it and I'm so pleased you're doing it. Best wishes,

That's such a lovely letter to have and I'm very glad.

I have kept it and I will not be selling this to any of the many Fawcett and

Horses fans who no doubt will now try and get hold of me and ask if they can

have this.

After the break, we see how hard it was for the show to become established.

David and I both thought, well, this is it.

This is the chop.

And look at a rare sketch which hasn't been broadcast in over 28 years.

Isn't that beautiful? That is raise the chassé, as they say in theatre.

Welcome back to the story of Only Fools and Horses.

With 64 episodes running from 1981 until 2003, we never tire of following the

antics of brothers Del and Rodney Trotter.

I can't bear this modern idea that I've done a couple of series, that's all I

can get out of the character, so I'm going to move on.

John Sullivan didn't do that. He didn't run away.

And that's all they're doing. So many writers these days have done a couple of

seasons, we want to get out while we're on top.

You've only just started.

Two seasons into only Fools and Horses, it was going to be X.

Oh, that's a turn -up, isn't it?

Fools and Horses didn't get off to a flying colours start.

It was met with a little... ..skepticism, I think.

We were looked down on because we involved ordinary people living in a

block. HE LAUGHS Rather than, you know, Tom and Barbara that live in Thurberton.

Shut up and drink up, will you? Yeah, yeah. And a couple of ravers.

And a couple of geezers.

The first two series of Fools and Horses went virtually unnoticed by the British

public. Oh, good God.

And despite having some of the comedic moments now considered classic, the cast

and crew thought it was all about to come crashing down about their ears.

We were called in to...

The controller's office had a comedy on the fourth floor one afternoon after

work.

And I think David and I both thought, well, this is it.

This is the chop.

And we stood in front of John Howard Davis' desk and he just said, well, I

it's funny.

So I'm putting my balls on the block and we'll do series three.

Fortunately, one man took control of BBC One who knew he had a hit on his hands.

if only it was handled the right way and given the maximum amount of exposure.

One of the reasons they brought me in was to sort the schedule out. And I

all these gems of shows sitting there that hadn't got any ratings, that were

just brilliant, brilliant shows, and Only Fools of Horses was one of them.

then had to showcase it in the right slot, the right night, at the right

and the rest, as they say, is history.

He who dares wins.

How many are called, but I'm afraid few are chosen.

When we did start to establish ourselves and started to become very successful,

John Sullivan and me went to BBC Television Centre and seeing all the

photographs of their big successful shows all lined up on the wall, Terry

June, Butterflies was there, and the one that was missing was The Trotters.

So John went to the Boss Header Comedy at the time and said, where's the

trotters then? Oh, he said, oh, yeah, they're upstairs on the sixth floor next

to the toilets.

I can only assume that it was some sort of class thing, I suppose, because don't

forget, BBC in those days, everybody spoke like that.

And, you know, we were all speaking like that. And, oh, dear, who are those

terrible people? Do we have to have their show?

Oh, put them next to the toilets.

It wasn't given the place of honour in reception, which I think upset John

Sullivan, the writer, quite a bit. But we soon put that right.

Lovely jubbly.

Critical success, public adoration and a string of awards meant that by the

mid-'80s, Fools and Horses was one of the most important shows on television.

Dear God, high up in the sky.

We were loving the show.

John Sullivan was writing better and better shows.

And so it was all leading up to these specials.

And the BBC, in their wisdom, had realised what the huge audience

it was capable of pulling.

They then started to put it on at Christmas.

Good stuff on the telly, Dale. Yeah, I know.

It's really great.

Oi, oi.

Go and get your own copy of the double -issue Christmas Radio Times.

It's got a lovely picture on the front.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

There's no question that having special Christmas edition of Only Fools was

absolutely crucial.

The public expected it, and it became a centrepiece of the schedule.

The first feature -length Christmas special was To Howl and Back, shown on

primetime Christmas Day and watched by just under 17 million viewers.

Don't act suspicious, Rodney.

Let's pretend we're Dutchmen, all right?

I act!

I think we were up against Minder or something, which is a wonderful,

wonderful, one of the best shows ITV's ever made, but it couldn't compete with

Only Fools.

It's amazing because every Christmas comes round and people go, is it going

be on?

And you think, well, ask the BBC, don't ask me. But, yeah, it was for all the

time we were involved in it. Yeah, that was it. It was the Queen and... Oh.

What do I say to him? No!

When something you're involved in, you know that literally half the

nation is going to be watching it.

That put a pressure on me.

So I used to put my coat on and go wandering round the windswept and rain

-sodden village where I lived, but I still couldn't resist.

If someone had a chink in the curtains, I'd just make sure that they were

watching it.

Trawling the archives, we've discovered a very special piece of Fools and Horses

material. Recorded for a one -off BBC compilation called The Funny Side of

Christmas, featuring Dale, Rodney and Grandad, this hasn't been shown on

television in over 28 years.

I've come to sell my wares and they're guaranteed, they're guaranteed if you're

hardcore, softcore and pimples on the top.

That's... Beautiful, isn't it, eh? Isn't that beautiful? That is raise the

chassé, as they say in theatre.

Now, be honest, have you ever seen a Christmas tree like that before? No, of

course you haven't, and I'll tell you the reason why.

One, you do not have to buy electric lights, baubles, bangles and beads

this tree comes complete. Two, you do not have to struggle with it like you do

the old forest -type Christmas tree because this tree folds down.

So, again, that was a lovely prop, wasn't it? The props guys made.

Here, Rodney, come here a minute.

Come here, I want to show you something.

Every year, for as long as I can remember, the market traders have always

a Christmas tree to that church over there.

But this year, they just can't afford it.

It's the little orphans that I feel sorry for.

I mean, every Christmas Eve, they come down from the orphanage.

They'd hold an open -air carol service round a tree.

Looked really lovely, it did.

I thought about crying once.

What a completely wonderful example of a scheme going through Del Boy's mind,

drawing in Rodney, doesn't see it coming, pulling on his heartstrings.

He does a good thing.

Right, ready when you are ready. Here goes then.

Oh, thanks, Lash.

Yeah.

They're not supposed to.

I mean, well, it's not much of a tree, but it's the only one I could... No, no,

no, no. You're wrong, Rodney.

This is the finest Christmas tree our church has ever had.

You see, for a growing number of years, I have become dismayed, even shocked by

the attitude of modern youth.

But today, you walked into this church and offered us this tree simply because.

You care.

That probably encapsulates Del and Rodney's relationship quite succinctly.

Rodney's the show's moral compass.

Del sets up what he wants him to do without Rodney knowing about it.

That's how it used to work.

As I was saying, this is the only Christmas tree, as used and recommended

Church of England itself.

Right over there, you'll see what I mean.

Well done, Rodney. I knew you wouldn't let me down. When was this one? Which

was this? 1982.

It doesn't ring a bell with me at all.

You see yourself. You're forming like crazy.

You dirty little mercy.

We needed someone to promote our product.

But God... You knew I'd give that treat to the vicar, didn't you? All that

rubbish about them little orphans.

You've got no ethics.

You don't even know what ethics are, do you?

Yeah.

Ethics? They can make model aeroplanes, can't they?

Ethics.

You can sell two if you like. No way, my son.

I've heard of commercialisation of Christmas, but this is taking a... 350.

All in lovely crisp reddies.

All right, girls, have your money ready. Now, don't worry.

We'd reached the top of the television tree, if you like. So what a

journey that we'd all had in Fools and Horses to reach the number

one slot on the number one day in the country's calendar.

Oh, bain marie, bain marie.

That was the cherry on top of the cake.