Original subtitles

Okay. I know that you're rookies when it comes to Indian food, so just let me

walk you through the cuisine. Now, this is lamb korma. This is lamb botikaba.

That is lamb korma. This is lamb botikaba. Nothing but very good.

This is my favorite, lamb vindaloo. You know what? That's my favorite, too. Lamb

vindaloo.

This is so good. Perfect.

Murphy, when did you start eating Indian food?

Well, ever since I started chemo, I can't taste anything. Spicy food is the

thing that kickstarts my taste buds.

Chicken, chicken.

Hot and spicy.

Extra hot and spicy. Extra, extra hot and spicy. Is this safe?

This is nothing compared to the Cajun food I was raised on. Why, back home, we

give Indian food to people with stomach problems.

Yes, Corky, we've heard the stories of your never -ending Bayou Jubilee, and

we're richer for them. Have some rice.

Oh, look at this.

My little news posse enjoying their pre -show supper.

Or is this a celebratory supper?

The quack quack upstairs is that Frank Fontana just signed his new three -year

contract. Well, I tell you something, this was the easiest negotiation ever.

It's okay. You got the network to back the old money truck up to your door,

right? I got my normal salary bonds, an extra week's vacation, and you're

throwing in an ergonomic chair. I'll tell you something, it's worth about $1

,200.

Thanks for warming the love for me, Frank. My negotiations are next.

Frank may be happy with the crumbs they threw his way. No offense, Frank, but

I'm going to be harder to please. A lot harder to please. No offense, Frank.

This food is really something.

I believe I'm beginning to sweat.

Is that normal?

I don't even sweat playing squash.

This is going to be so great, I can't wait for these negotiations.

This food is so good, isn't it? I could live in India. I wish it were closer.

This food is really clearing up my sinus pockets.

I love this.

Is my nose bleeding?

This food is like lava, really hot. No, no, like molten steel.

A little hotter, doesn't it? This food is like eating sun on flatbread.

No, come on, Jim. This food is great. I just have to wet my whistle.

Coming up next, Murphy Brown interviews conservative standard -bearer Paul

Cookson. And we're clear.

Oh, my.

Oh, last time I ate Indian food. I'm sticking to America.

Steaks, chops, chocolate pudding.

That's the kind of food I like.

Kills you with volume, not temperature.

Murphy, are you ready to go 12 rounds with Senator Cookson?

Not really, no.

God, Indian food is getting back at me for falling asleep during Gandhi.

Murphy, where are you going? We're on the airless in a minute. Yeah, I know,

Jim. I hate to walk out on you like this, but I've got to get out of here.

But, Murphy, it's your interview.

Murphy? Murphy?

Where's she off to?

What's going on here? I thought I was going to be interviewed by Murphy Brown.

Something's come up, Senator, but this is a news team. And when one member of

that team goes down, another one steps up.

And that person will be? Will be me, Senator.

I'm Corky Sherwood.

I'm going to be interviewed by you?

But aren't you the weather girl or something?

We're back in 30 seconds.

No. Oh, no, no, Senator.

Although my little toe does swell when it's going to rain.

Why don't we take our seats right over here? Do you know anything at all about

me? 20 seconds. Of course she does. Here are your notes, Corky. Thank you.

I knew it was bad luck to take Miles' mezuzah off my door.

10 seconds.

Well, no Murphy Brown.

This is going to be easier than I thought. Oh, you'll see. This is going

so much fun.

We are live in 5, 4, 3, 2...

Good evening. I'm Corky Sherwood, and I'm here with Senator Paul Cookson, a

legend on Capitol Hill. Well, I do what I can for my constituents and my

country. I'm so delighted to have you here with us on the show tonight.

Why, thank you, Corky. The first thing I'd like to talk about is this country

on a downward... Excuse me, Senator. I'm conducting this interview.

Now, do you deny that in 1992 you funneled half a million dollars of

contributions into a personal account in the Grand Caymans?

Senator.

Senator.

Murph? Murph?

Murph, why are you lying on the floor?

I just had to lie down.

Remind me to negotiate for a couch, or at least a thicker rug.

How do you feel?

Mortified. I never had to leave a show like that.

Because of the damn chemo, I lost my appetite. Then when I finally got it

I overdid it. Who covered for me?

Corky, and she did a great job.

Corky? Really?

Well, good for her.

Murph, you want me to give you a ride home?

No, Frank, I'm just going to lie here for a while, thanks.

I'll be fine.

You know something?

I watch you.

day after day, live your life with no self -pity, amazing courage, and I

think to myself, if I were going through what you're going through, I don't know

if I'd get by.

You'd get by, Frank. I don't think so. No, no, no, you would. No.

Yes, you would, Frank.

Because the worst thing is when someone is kneeling on your knuckles, because

that's some real pain.

Great job you did last night. You mean that Senator Warble like Placido

Oh, you guys. I couldn't have done it without Murphy's notes.

How are you feeling, Murphy? Oh, I'm fine. Listen, Corky, I saw the tape. You

played Cookson brilliantly. You actually got him to stutter so much that spittle

started collecting at the corners of his mouth. Why, that's entertainment.

Congratulations.

Thank you, Murphy.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. People of Argentina, I give to you a

Presidente Stan Lansing.

don't get it when the girl has pizzazz.

I'll be right down.

The pizzazz is never ending.

Coming ashore.

People, a wonderful show last night. It was absolutely fantastic.

Thank you very much. And who is leading the wonderful Miss Corky Sherwood? This

is for you.

It's a whole Louisiana sampler.

That's where you're from, right?

Yeah.

My girl picked it up. She's from the area.

Maybe you know her. Her name is Linda... Melinda... I don't know. Every morning

I go, Inda, and she gives me coffee.

Well, thank you, Stan.

Sure. And Jim, another fine show. Thank you, Stan. And Fontana, that piece on

gun clubs, good.

It was on prison overpopulation, Stan. I said good. Don't beg.

And for Murphy, Murphy, a basket full of soaps.

I don't know what you can or can't eat, but you always have to bathe.

Oh, Stan, a basket of soap. What can I say?

Thank Prinda for me.

Okay, and listen, if you ever need more time off, just ask.

I missed one show, Stan. It was something I ate.

All I'm trying to say is that we're behind you.

Well, I'm done here. I gotta work my magic someplace else.

An idea right from the front of my head.

Guess what it is. Let me take a guess here, Stan. It was a rhetorical

Fontana.

We should send Corky to the Middle East.

You go to Jordan. Talk to a king. Go to another country. Talk to a man in a

swarthy robe.

What? A king?

No. Zazu pits.

Yes, you. Here. Here's your plane tickets.

I gotta get out of here. The plane leaves on Monday.

I already picked out your fruit platter.

Goodbye, goodbye.

Beast. Murphy, that's your territory.

Well, that's not true.

Jim's been and Frank's been.

And now it's your turn.

Why don't you come into my office? I'll give you my research folders.

Oh, Murphy.

It's like you're initiating me into your sorority.

Only I don't have to drink shampoo and do a nudie run through the quad.

Oh, yeah, they're going to love you in Jordan.

Good for Corky.

She did her job, and now she's reaping the rewards.

Good for her.

Does anybody else find the timing of this a little odd? Oh, I think the mucky

mucks upstairs are just rewarding Corky. Yes, of course, that's all it is. So

you don't think they're grooming Corky to know? Of course not. Because Murphy

has... What are you saying?

I'm just saying that... I know what you were saying.

Don't say it. Say what? I wasn't saying anything.

Then don't. I won't.

So?

We agree.

What do we agree on?

I'm afraid to say.

Don't ask me. You're the lawyer.

All right.

Let me know.

Knock, knock.

Corky, please, this isn't a good time.

I just need a minute. I've got all my research on King Hussein, but there's a

few more things I'd like to go over. Corky, please not now.

But, Murphy, you're the only person I know that's ever actually met King

Hussein, and I want this to be the best interview ever.

Corky, I've helped you all I can. Now it's time for the little birdie to leave

the nest. So fly, fly, and close the door behind you.

Fly now.

I can't believe you won't help me.

It's not so hard to believe. What's hard to believe is that I haven't thrown you

out.

Oh, I see.

You just can't admit that I've grown as a reporter, that I've advanced beyond

stories about facelifts and cookie recipes.

Well, I have.

All right, you've grown. You're a journalistic giant, so let's just take

big body, your big blue ox, step in dirt, and create the Great Lakes.

You know what's really bothering you?

You just can't stand sharing the spotlight.

Corky, you know why the network is sending you to the Middle East? They're

hedging their bets.

This isn't about your skills.

It's about my cancer.

They're grooming you to replace me.

They won't do that.

I just got my three -year contract.

It's for one year.

Fellas, our viewership is down.

Our network is going through a little drought.

There is no rain in sight. It's dry.

So we need ideas, and we need energy, and most of all, we need lotion.

My network skin is flaking.

So show me the lotion. Show me the lotion. Show me that thing.

Yes, ma 'am.

You're the new boy genius, so they say. Lock your socks on.

Look, we've been in third place now for 29 weeks in a row.

Division profits are down.

Any idea how we stop the hemorrhaging?

Lotion!

The stockholders' meeting is in two weeks. They're going to want answers,

better have them or we're all going to be looking for work.

You don't want to be looking for a job right now because it's cold out there.

Murphy!

Stan, did you really think I was going to be won over by the generosity of a

soap basket? Did you think I was going to take this lying down?

I want a three -year contract, the same one I've had all these years, and I want

it now.

Nice to see you, Murphy.

May I interject?

Be my guest.

Glenn. Murphy, you have our sincerest apologies. Perhaps this wasn't handled

with the deftest of touch. And for that, I deserve a slap on the wrist.

Go ahead.

Couldn't I just run you over with my car?

Don't say yes.

I'm kidding.

I'm serious.

Murphy, there were extenuating circumstances.

Circumstances being that I have cancer.

May I level with you?

Love to see you try.

Cancer was a determining factor.

We care about you. Your health comes first. And we don't want you worrying

year two and year three.

Let's just resolve to make year one all that it can be.

So don't think of this as a one -year contract. Think of it as a vote of

confidence.

You know, I've lived in Washington a long time, and I've never seen it flung

quite like this.

Your speed, your velocity.

Oh, to be so young and so full of crap.

You gotta love her. She's feisty.

So let's take this feistiness out for a little walk here.

Cheer him up. Tell him the story about Marv Albert's dentist.

Don't do anything foolish about this, Glenn.

The board of directors stuck me with Mr.

Wonderboy.

All I'm asking is that you think about the contract for a few days.

Why should I?

Listen, we'll talk. We'll go to Phil's. We'll have a meal.

Come on, I'm putting it down. See, in my wizard.

I call this a wizard.

I think they should call it a tiny little typewriter.

Murphy Brown lunch.

Take a Zantac.

Please.

Thank you for coming, Murphy.

Stan, is that Chanel No. 5 I smell on you?

Yeah, I cut through Bloomingdale's and I got squished.

I figured, what the heck, I'm man enough, right?

Boy, this place hasn't changed in 30 years. I know.

Linoleum. This is linoleum. It was a new thing when they put it in. I bet they

were filled with awe.

Stan, not that I don't love the march of time, but what's on your mind?

You don't deserve this, Murphy.

I know where you're coming from.

See, you and I are in the same boat.

We're both worried about job security.

I wasn't until yesterday.

Well, welcome to the club.

With you, it's a health issue. With me, it's age.

Murphy, I'm working with babies.

Little pishes who never heard of the life of Riley or Playhouse 90.

They think Scooby -Doo is the golden age of television.

All I care about is hip, hip, hip.

I have to pretend I know who the Spice Girls are.

I know what Spice is, I know what girls are, but put them together, I don't have

a clue.

with the freshest faces around. Is that any reason why you should sign an

insulting contract?

What you've accomplished and what I've accomplished means nothing to them.

All they see is you're a big risk and I'm an old man.

Maybe we should pack it in.

But we don't.

Because what are we going to do?

We're the sort of folks who let our work define who we are.

Well, since when did that become a bad thing?

The minute you don't have a job.

Do me a favor, Murphy.

Sign the contract.

Now, if you'll excuse me a second, I have to go over there and kiss the shiny

part of that man's pants.

I think his name is Larry Gary Barry.

Larry, how are you?

Murphy, here are my tickets.

I'm not going to the Middle East.

That assignment should be yours.

Oh, Corky, come on. This is a big opportunity. You know you want to go.

I can't do that to you, Murphy.

I'm not going to betray my friend.

Corky, when you're offered an opportunity like this, you don't turn it

don't even know whose place I took when I got my big break. And if I were in

your shoes, I'd be on that plane right now. So take the ticket. You know you've

earned it.

That's my contract.

You're not going to sign it, are you?

Oddly enough, the demand for a 49 -year -old woman with breast cancer isn't as

great as you might think.

I'm not going to let you sign it.

Corky, give me that.

No.

I know if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't sign a one -year contract.

I tell them I earned a lot more than that.

I tell them I earned the right to be respected.

Corky, let me have the contract.

Here, Stan.

I'm not signing it.

I told them you wouldn't.

But we'll get a lovely lunch out of it.

We're going to chill out.

What did your lawyer say, Murph?

No, he said to go home and let him negotiate. And that pearl of wisdom cost

$400.

Are you interrupting anything?

We were just leaving. Let's go. No flies on us.

I understand you've opted not to sign the one -year contract.

That's right.

So what are you going to do? Are you going to send security up to escort me

of the building? Or are you going to get one of those Hannibal Lecter carts and

wheel me out?

Because you never know. I just might snap and chew your face off.

Murphy, you are a valuable asset to this company, and what you said to us the

other day in the boardroom was a wake -up call to our collective humanity.

Pretend for a second I believe what you're saying. What's your point?

We are prepared to offer you a three -year contract at a generous increase.

We want your 20 years of solid broadcasting experience.

We want the indomitable Murphy Brown spirit on our team.

We feel that way, and certainly the focus groups we polled echoed our

sentiments.

groups? You brought in people off the street and asked them what they thought?

I wouldn't have mentioned focus groups.

Even at 32, I wouldn't have mentioned focus groups.

You tested my cancer to see how the audience feels about it? Unbelievable.

think you'll be glad to know that America loves you on any terms. They're

invested in your struggle.

Of course, you still scare the 2 - to 12 -year -olds, so Herbie Brown will never

be a Saturday morning cartoon.

You know what?

I like my job.

It's who I am.

So I'm going to stay on.

That's great. Did you hear that, Stan? Isn't that great news?

Oh, giddy!

I'm not going to sign a three -year contract. No?

Oh, boy. Well, you've got us right where you want us.

How about five years? Will that do it? No, that will not do it. I'm getting

giddier.

You know, Glenn, you could have offered this to me because it was the right

thing to do. But you had to wait until a room full of strangers told you how to

be decent human beings. Stan, you want to jump in here?

No, no, no. You're doing just terrific.

Just terrific.

All right, I'll take the one -year contract.

Glenn, the board of directors was hoping for more.

Stan, you're right. I owe Glenn better than that. So I'll tell you what I'm

going to do, Glenn.

I will sign a six -month contract.

How can I sell that to the board?

Well, I don't have to sign any contract at all. Well, I know I can figure out a

way. Murphy, Murphy, a six -month contract? The man will look like a fool.

You're right again, Stan.

The worst part of it, I'd only get to see his face twice a year. And you know

what? I'd miss it.

So here's what I'm going to do. So what will you do, Murphy Brown?

I will sign a one -day contract. A contract every day?

This is a joke, right? That's not her joke's the face.

Every night before I leave, you'll come down with a new contract for the next

day. And then you will do that day after day after day until the board gets so

annoyed with you that they fire your skinny little ass.

Well, if Murphy's going to sign a contract tomorrow, you better get a move

She can't. Stop stammering. You sound like Scooby -Doo.

I wouldn't be 32 again for all the tea in China.

You're lying.

All right, I would, but not with the same wife.

Good night, Stan.

Good night, Murphy.