Original subtitles

You are not going to believe it. Here's what he's going to phone with.

Alec Baldwin, Jim.

Alec Baldwin.

I'd be terrifically excited if I knew who Alec Baldwin was.

He's the movie star. Alec called to congratulate me for punching out that

paparazzi creep who took pictures of Murphy in the hospital. Now, even though

was on the phone, I could tell he was giving me one of these. Ah, yes, yes,

You're a big fight. I never tire of hearing about it. Corky, did you hear?

Baldwin man called Frank. Very exciting. He'll tell you all about it.

Which Baldwin? Stephen? No. Billy? No.

Daniel? No. Who else left?

Alec.

Alec! Oh, he's my favorite.

It's all congratulated for punching out that paparazzi creep.

Oh, yeah. Big fight.

Again.

Good morning, good morning, good morning. How's my little team doing

Hey, pretty great about Alex Baldwin calling Frank, huh?

Oh, so Frank told you too?

No, I listen in on the extension sometimes.

And Jim, stop playing games with that Lincoln dealer. You know you want that

blue four -door.

I'm low -balling him.

Don't get involved.

Okay, we have a lot of work to do this morning.

I bet they're from Miles. He knows I love yellow roses. Honestly, sometimes

man can be so... Oh, they're from Irby. Hmm.

I wonder who they're from.

Morley's safer, and he's very fond of her.

Shall we begin?

Hi, guys. Sorry I'm late.

Irby, what are you doing here? You just had your surgery yesterday. The doctor

told you to stay home all week.

Well, that was more of a suggestion. Totally open to interpretation, mostly

other people, not for those with Viking blood coursing through their veins like

myself.

These are for you.

Oh, they're from Morley's Safer.

I think.

That's very sweet. I'm going to have to call him. Okay, let's go.

Um, Murph, you only have makeup on half your face.

Not that that half isn't very well made up.

My right side is still sore, so I'm using my left hand, but I'm getting the

of it. Of course you are here. Let me just wipe this mascara off your ear.

Come on, let's get started.

All right, if you feel you're up to it.

Of course I am. I'm here, aren't I? I'm fine. The lumpectomy was 24 hours ago.

That's plenty of time to bounce back.

All right, Corky, you're doing an interesting diet pill story.

I'm here?

These new offices are very hot.

It's that big window. It's acting like a giant magnifying glass. We have to do

something about that.

That's a good story, Corby.

Let's move on. What have you got, Frank? But, Murphy, I didn't... It's not

polite to interrupt.

Frank is talking to one friend.

Well, I've got an interesting angle on the Medicare story. Okay, good. Let's

move on. No, but I didn't get... Frank, Medicare got it. Why do we have to beat

everything to death?

Are we done?

I think we've covered the bulk of it, yes. Okay, good.

Hi, I'm Murphy Brown, and you must be my new secretary.

Hi, Man Dunn. Really, really so great to meet you.

Do I have any messages today?

Oh, like a billion.

Maybe you could give me the first hundred thousand.

Oh, I didn't write any of them down.

I have like a trillion other things on my mind.

Besides, they told me that you weren't coming in today, so I figured, why take

message?

And by the way, these chocolates came for you.

like a gazillion buttercreams in there, but I ate them, you know?

I guess you weren't coming in.

You... You are... You...

Just give me a minute.

Murphy. Murphy, tell you what.

Why don't we call it a day? I'll take you home.

You know, I never noticed that these new offices were involved before.

I kind of like it. How did they do that? Murphy, they...

Well, see, there's this giant motor right in the core of the building, and

nice little man runs it.

Oh, just give him my flowers. He's doing a great job.

Just a little bit farther.

You missed your calling as a tugboat captain.

Now, you sit here.

Billy, I don't need to sit. I'm fine.

No? But Mr. Couch is so lonely. He's saying, please...

Murphy, that's enough.

When you're away at work, Mr. Chair says terrible things about you.

There.

Now, doesn't that feel much better?

Let me help you take off your shoes.

Murphy, really, I'm fine. I don't need you to do that.

Come on, Murphy. I know how hard it is for you to ask for something.

Can you get out of my house? See, I'm getting the hang of it.

and I appreciate that, but I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself.

Tell you what. Why don't I just move in for a few days?

Wouldn't that be so much fun? Like a big slumber party. Didn't you just love

those as a kid?

No. Actually, I hated them. There was always one person there you wished they

didn't invite. The perky blonde girl.

I'll cook for you, clean for you, do all your errands. No.

Murphy, how long did it take you to get dressed this morning?

Not long.

How long?

About an hour. But three quarters of that was taken up with the nap I needed

after successfully entering my pants.

You're just a big old stubborn mule.

Hee -haw!

Don't you see this is a good deal for you?

We could eat popcorn.

Watch old Doris Day movies.

Touch of me.

Teacher's pet.

Or that Hitchcock one where she sings, Que sera, sera.

Stop it.

Would you stop being so proud?

You obviously couldn't even brush your own hair this morning. I could, too.

Really?

Let me see.

I like it like this.

Here, you do it.

Well, it's obvious that your mind's made up.

Yes, it is.

Well, that's too bad, really.

Because I was really in the mood to make my famous macaroni and cheese.

Macaroni and cheese?

But you probably wouldn't like the way I prepare it anyway.

Probably not. But just to refresh my memory, how do you prepare it?

Let's see. I bake it twice until it gets all crispy and bubbly inside.

And the best part is... I use four different kinds of cheeses.

But you wouldn't use gorgonzola. I hate gorgonzola. Oh, no.

Gorgonzola's a bully of cheeses.

Is there a possibility you could crumble some bacon on the top?

Wouldn't be my famous macaroni and cheese if I didn't.

Okay, maybe one meal.

I'll start grating the cheese right now.

Um, Corby? Yes?

If I come in the kitchen, do you think you could grate cheese and brush hair at

the same time?

Sure. Oh, boy.

We will be.

Morning, Mr. Couch. Morning, Murphy.

Murphy, what are you doing downstairs?

I was going to bring this up to you.

Oh, Corky, you made me breakfast again?

You didn't have to do that.

That's incredible. You must have had to get up at 5 in the morning.

4 .30.

Well, I want to do a load of wipes before I started cooking.

And did you notice how I moved the towels down where you could reach them?

Yes, I did, thank you. And what a pleasant surprise, pre -squeezing my

toothpaste onto the brush.

Oh, and I defrosted the freezer.

Really? How'd you get the door open? Oh, it was easy.

Hair dryer, screwdriver, chisel. I was in.

You really don't have to do all that.

Oh, I'm glad to. Now hurry up, eat your banana fritters. They're getting cold.

What's wrong?

Oh, um...

Nothing. It's just that the ones yesterday had this nice fresh blueberry

on the side.

This is great.

I'm sorry, Murphy.

I could run down to the store and get some more blueberries.

Oh, no. I don't want to be a bother.

So they'll just be a little dry without that pretty blueberry sauce on the side.

So, how are you feeling today?

Well, I'm feeling stronger, although I'm starting to get a touch of cabin fever.

Not that it hasn't been great having you stay here. And who knew there were so

many Doris Day movies?

Boy, when you watch them consecutively, day after day, movie after movie, you

realize what a tremendous body of work she had.

See, I knew you were going to get stir -crazy. That's why I have a little

surprise for you.

Is it the blueberry sauce?

No, no, no, no, no.

Something much better.

You'll find out.

Jerky!

Thanks for checking in on my report on Columbus. And did you have time to check

my math homework?

Sure did.

Here you go.

Got a little stuck, though.

Sort of forgot what an integer was.

Well, if it's any whole number, negative or positive.

Well, still don't know what an integer is.

Thanks anyway, Avery.

If you really didn't have to bother Corky, I would have gone over your math

homework with you. Yeah, well, when you do it, you always have to include that

note to the teacher about how I'll never, ever use this stuff.

But you won't. So, I have Louisiana French toast. What'd you get?

Banana fritters.

Can we keep her?

Here's your ride, Avery.

Don't forget this.

See, Mom, this one's too old lunchbox.

Have a great day, Mr. Quister.

Bye, guys.

Bye, Avery.

Murphy, just relax. I have to make one quick call.

Is it local?

Just kidding.

It is, right?

Hi, Mrs. Allen?

This is Corky Sherwood from FYI. We spoke the other day regarding your

information about the pharmaceutical company you formerly worked for.

Listen, I really appreciate this, and I won't take up too much of your time.

Corky? One second, please. Yes?

Would you mind squeezing me another glass of orange juice, please?

In a minute.

Now, Miss Allen, when you said that the company's doctors knew their diet pills

were wrong, you continued to mark them in spite of the fact... Doorbell!

Listen, Miss Allen, I'm just going to put the phone down for one sec, but I'll

be right back, okay?

This might be your surprise, Murphy.

Is it the blueberry sauce?

That's a great idea. I'll just go get my notes.

Good.

Hey, guys, listen.

Thanks for coming. I really think she needed to see everyone.

I smell food.

How odd.

I don't recall ever smelling anything at Murphy's except paint and raid.

Oh, Corky, my... left three messages on voicemail last night. That husband of

yours is very persistent.

Well, I just don't have time to deal with that right now. My plate's a little

full. Oh, come on. Call them back now. Maybe there's something in the New York

papers about my big fight.

Pete, will you ever stop talking about this? Oh, come on. She brought it up.

just going to bring it up.

I'm just talking about phone messages.

Stop this.

We will not have any negativity here.

The last thing Murphy needs right now is undue stress. She's been through a lot.

We need to be up.

Remember, everything's up.

everything's positive.

Oh, Murphy!

Look at you! Wow! A new hairdo gives you height.

I thought you did it. Do you like it? Oh, I really love it.

Oh, and, uh, Murph, I brought you these magazines in case you get a little

bored. Oh, thank you, Frank. That's so sweet. Oh, got it.

Got it.

Got it.

Oh! Oh, Corgi, you missed this one. Remember, I like anything with George

Clooney on the cover.

And, um, here, Murphy, I brought you a little present.

Oh, thank you, Patty. Oh, presents.

Oh, a letter opener.

Look familiar.

I stole it the last time I was here.

You were hostile. I was vindictive the next thing I knew it was in my purse.

And this isn't mine.

It isn't?

What about this belt?

All right.

Let's get this meeting started, shall we?

Now, Corky, you're doing that diet pill story. Have you spoken with your source

yet? Yes, I was just on the phone with her.

It's Ellen.

It's Ellen.

God,

now she'll never speak to me.

But hey, that's no problem.

Let's get another inside source tomorrow.

Hey there, stranger. How have you been?

Great. And the new Jaguar, I haven't seen any pictures in over a week.

rammed into my... You know,

oddly enough, with my new tough guy image, the whole thing works.

Jim, how about you? I see that Peter Jennings got a fat new deal. That

they just keep throwing money at him, but he's worth every penny.

Go, Canada.

Okay, how about you? Let me guess, doing great?

Impacted wisdom teeth be damned. Doing great.

So you see, Murphy, everyone's feeling really good. Oh, absolutely.

No question. Really positive.

Oh, good.

Then let me run something by you. It's a story idea I have for you. Oh, good.

Buttons. We could do a story on that lady who has a button shop on M Street.

Buttons. Yes. Everyone needs buttons.

Yes, they do. Everyone.

Come on, guys. The story's crap.

Guys, I see what's going on here.

You don't have to treat me differently because I have cancer.

Murphy's right.

We've known each other too long.

I'm not a weakling, and the last thing I want is to be treated like an invalid.

Okay?

Okay.

Good.

Courtney, do you think you could please bring me one of those little pecan

muffins you baked last night?

But could you warm it? Because I'm a little...

If anyone needs me, I'll be down in our cut. This fax just came in from Miss

Brown. There's like a trillion things she wants you to pick up.

There you are. Merchant just called. I know, I know. I'm just reading her fax.

Yeah, but she didn't put down... You're supposed to go to her optometrist and

pick up her glasses. I already got them. With the hard case, because she keeps

sitting on the soft one.

All right. I'll go by and get the hard case on my way home. Miss Sherwood?

Miles Silverberg for you?

and this is like the majillionth time he's called.

All right, I'll take it in there.

Oh, come on.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Is everything okay here?

You're not bothering her, are you? Is he bothering you?

No.

How about her? Is she giving you any trouble?

Okay, all right, all right. Just remember, I'm always around.

Now go on, get out of here. Come on, be good.

Clean out your desk. You're fired.

Fired? This is like the third time this has happened to me.

Oh, now you're exaggerating.

Sorry I'm late, Murphy.

Margie, you're back. Wow, is it late?

Geez, I guess you must have been so busy you didn't have time to call me to tell

me you were going to be so... Whoa, it is really late. I'm sorry.

I got tied up.

Yeah, well, I guess you must have been. Otherwise, you would have called me to

say you were going to be so... Can it be this late? This is right.

Maybe it's bad.

Look how late it is.

I'm sorry, Murphy, but Kay really needed me to finish my story. So I had to go

to my apartment.

Oh, well, now that you're done, we can have some fun.

Pillow talk's on TV. Night door sings on that one, too.

You know what? I'm really tired. I think I'm just going to go to bed.

Corky, it's only 9 o 'clock. I mean, you can warm up the gum, but we'll forget

you didn't call. We'll just put this whole incident behind us. Forgive and

forget. That's my motto. Murphy Brown, you are unbelievable.

Grilled cheese sandwich?

No, I'm not going to... to make you a damn grilled cheese sandwich.

You are the most self -centered, self -absorbed, self -involved, spoiled

brat that ever lived.

For the last five days, I've been running around here with like a chicken

my head cut off, but you're so thoughtless.

Oh, God.

I'm so sorry, Murphy.

If I could take the words back, I would.

Please.

No.

No, go ahead.

Say them.

No, no, I'm...

I'll just go heat up your gumbo. You'll probably starve. Corky, don't walk away

from me.

Ever since I've been sick, everybody's been tiptoeing around me, and I hate it.

So if you have something to say to me, just spit it out.

Miles and I are getting a divorce.

What?

A divorce.

It's over.

Oh, Corky, I'm so sorry.

I had no idea. When did this happen?

Well, it's...

And then two weeks ago, we had this fight.

And I said, maybe we should split up. And he said, maybe we should.

He wasn't supposed to say that.

He was supposed to say, over my dead body.

And then he was supposed to apologize for being so inattentive and too

in his own career.

And then he was supposed to say, I love you, my little pumpernickel.

That's what he called me.

Because he loved bread.

And he loved me.

Now he just loves bread.

She would have told me. Maybe I could have helped.

Well, things are different now.

Why? Because I have cancer? Well, yeah.

I think that's a little more important than my bad...

not quirky. What's important is that my friend talked to me about everything.

You always did.

I know the most personal details of your life, good or bad.

You even felt it necessary to inform me when you switched from roll -on

deodorant to the pump.

By the way, I switched back.

Boy, when I was Miss America, I had it all planned out.

Married the man of my dreams.

I had my first child, lived in a big old country house by the time I was 25.

Now look at me.

35.

Two failed marriages.

All I ever do is work.

No patience with people.

I've taken to firing secretaries. I've become, I've just, I've become...

It's funny how things don't turn out exactly the way you think.

Look at me.

I'm the most independent person anyone's ever met, and for the past three hours

I've been sitting on the couch waiting to hear the sound of your keys in the

door.

Now you're going through a divorce, and I'm going through chemotherapy, and

neither one of us is looking forward to it.

But we're going to get through it.

We're going to get each other through it, aren't we?

Yes, we are.

This portion. I guess I better go pack up my stuff.

Corky, before you go, do you think you could do my hair, you know, the way you

did the other day?

Oh, sure.

Come on.

Corky, after you finish my hair, you think you could make some more of those

banana fritters, you know, like about enough for a year?

And now that my freezer is working, do you think you could freeze some of that

blueberry sauce? Because honest to God, Corky, it's the sauce that makes those

fritters.

Sure, Murphy.

When I was just a little girl I asked my mother, what will I be?

Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?

Here's what she said to me.