Original subtitles

Who can turn the world on with her smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should know it.

With each glance and every little movement you show it. Love is all I

to waste it. You can never tell, why don't you take it?

But we had a fight and she went off to the fat farm.

The what?

One of those places you go to lose weight.

Only she gains.

She says the exercise increases her appetite, but I think she does it on

purpose.

Would it be terribly rude if I asked what you're staring at?

Uh, what?

It's not melting.

What isn't? The snowflake on the end of your nose.

occur to you two that if a snowflake isn't melting, it might be paint?

Why would you paint a snowflake on the end of your nose?

I was painting the bathroom ceiling.

I got it all over me. Mr. Grant, come on over here and sit down. I'll get it off

for you. What is that stuff?

Nail polish remover.

Uh, so, what did you and Edie fight about? Didn't you want to paint the

bathroom? Well, painting the bathroom was a compromise. She wanted to

the girl's room.

You know, now that they're all married, make one... into a study, one into a

sewing room?

Well, I can understand why she'd want to do that.

Mary, I like those rooms just the way they are.

And I can understand that, too. What about when the girls come home to visit?

Where are they going to sleep?

How often do they come?

So far? So far, they haven't.

But they might.

Oh, isn't that sweet?

My father's sentimental like that, too.

I was about to pass out from the fumes.

Good morning, Earl.

Good morning, Ted.

Hey, this place smells of something.

Yes, it's something... Don't tell me. I've got a great sense of smell.

It's not pizza.

So as long as Edie made such a big deal about redecorating, I figured I'd start

by painting the bathroom.

Oh, what else?

That's it so far.

Oh.

It's not suntan oil.

So, when will Edie be back from this reducing place?

Oh, she was pretty mad. She ought to be gone for about eight to ten pounds.

Well, whatever it was, it's gone now.

What are you doing?

Straightening your desk. You sort of let it go.

If you think this is bad...

You should see what's going on in my house since Edie left.

Well, maybe you ought to get somebody in to clean it before Mrs. Grant gets

back. Oh, I'm going to do better than that.

I'm going to redecorate the living room.

Yourself?

No. I got this friend.

He was a decorator in the Army.

The Army?

Sure. You don't think those Army barracks just happened, do you?

What's this Army friend of yours decorating now that he's not in the Army

anymore? Bus stations.

Mr. Grant, don't you think that you might be better off if you'd find a

decorator who specializes in, you know, houses?

I could try to help you find one.

Okay.

Find me a decorator, but make sure he's someone who's economical, inexpensive,

and who doesn't cost too much.

Well, I'll certainly try to find someone who'll meet all those qualifications.

And whoever it is, tell him I don't want to spend a lot of money either.

Right. Now, why don't I tell my decorator friend?

He was so excited.

It was going to be the first place he ever did without lockers.

Mayor? Hi.

Here's my telephone directory. Oh, great. Thank you. Where's yours?

It's under my refrigerator.

Can't you get it out? Yeah, but if I do, the refrigerator falls over.

What are you looking for?

Well, Mr. Grant wants me to help him find an interior decorator, and I've got

start someplace.

In the classifieds? Oh, Mary.

No decorator who's any good would advertise in the classifieds. Well,

my decorator, Mary, Mr. Arnold.

Mr. Arnold? Yeah, here he is. Where?

When he did me, he was unlisted.

expensive. He wouldn't be any good if he weren't. I don't think he'd be right

for Mr. Grant.

Oh. You know what else I don't think? I don't really think he needs a

professional decorator, really. All he needs is a pleasant person with good

taste to help him. Oh, I'd like to, Mary. I just don't have the time.

Well, actually, I was thinking of Rhoda.

I thought you said a pleasant person with good taste.

Oh, come on, Phyllis. Rhoda does a great job of decorating windows at Hempel's.

Haven't you seen her Christmas windows? They're terrific.

Well, then, Rhoda's your girl.

Mr. Grant wants to live in a manger.

Hiya. Oh, hi. I was just talking about you.

Somehow, that doesn't come as a shock.

Mary, you got a couple of spare eggs?

Yeah, sure. Help yourself.

Uh, listen, uh, Rhoda, Mr.

Grant is looking for someone to help him decorate his living room, and, uh,

well, we, uh, just thought of somebody. Who do you think?

Yeah, Phyllis would do a good job.

Who? Me? You mean me? Sure.

You got the best taste of anyone I know.

Rhoda!

Dear!

I hardly know what to say.

How very flattering.

I had no idea you thought so highly of me.

Oh, I don't, Phyllis. It's your furniture I love.

Well, actually, Rhoda, I was thinking of you doing Mr. Grant's place. Me? Yeah.

could manage it, Rhoda. After all, you and Lou Grant have so much in common.

know, you're both earthy.

Here, Phyllis, the two eggs I borrowed. Now we're even.

Mary, I'd rather owe you than her.

Listen, are you serious about this decorating? Yeah, sure I am. Might be

you to kind of branch out a little bit, you know. And plus, there'd be some

extra money in it for you. Oh, boy, I could use that. After I paid all my

this month, there was one item I didn't account for. My rent.

Oh.

You carry a decorator, huh? Yeah, why not?

Hey, you know, with my discount down at the store, I could save him a lot of

money. Oh, well, that's great.

Do you have any idea what you'd charge him?

Oh, golly.

I guess when I'm finished, I'll ask him what he thinks it's worth.

I wouldn't do that, Rhoda.

You ought to get a little something for your effort. Come on, you'll do a great

job. Yeah.

Well, when would he want me to do it? Well, right away. Mrs. Grant is out of

town, and he wants to surprise her.

It means I have to work over the weekend. Thank you, Mary. Oh, really?

No, don't thank me. Listen, you're doing me a favor.

I'm going to go upstairs and start looking through my decorator magazine.

First time I've ever heard popular mechanics referred to as a decorator.

Do I owe you some eggs?

Uh, yeah, two eggs.

I'll be a guest on that show. What show?

Meet my pet.

Ted, you don't have a pet.

I know. I rented one.

Crummy cat.

Shed all over me.

Should have gone for a couple of bucks more and rented a dog or something.

Good morning.

Now, any day... It starts off with a leftover TV dinner for breakfast. Isn't

good move.

Bless you.

Great.

Now, I'm allergic to him, too.

Mr. Grant, I almost forgot.

I've got good news for you.

I think I found a decorator for you. You know my friend, Rhoda Morgenstern?

Is she a professional decorator? Well, yeah, sort of. She's in charge of the

whole window decorating department at Hempel's.

You might not have noticed, but I don't live in a window.

Mr. Grant, she's done rooms, too.

Model rooms.

Yeah? Yeah. She's really very talented. She's got great taste.

She's awfully good, Mr. Grant. I think you'd really be, you know, pleased with

her work. But I'm not going to stand here and try to talk you into it.

Gets a big discount on furniture at the store.

Whatever you thought the job was worth.

Okay.

Good.

So, what do you think?

Oh, it's a very nice room, isn't it, Rhoda?

Yes, very homey.

Does that decorator talk for a mess?

You can't bomb too bad when you start with this.

Huh?

Well, I mean, it's a terrific floor plan.

Yeah, it's very warm and lived -in looking.

Well, this room has been lived in. Lots of living has gone on in this living

room. But now it's time for a change, right?

Right.

So, Lou, what do you want to do?

Well, I don't know. Isn't that what you're supposed to tell me? Oh, well,

know, Rhoda's got lots of ideas, haven't you?

Sure, yeah, lots of ideas.

I'm just trying to picture what the room should be.

Early American, contemporary, Spanish.

Yeah, that sounds good.

Which one?

Oh, is that more than one?

Yeah.

as long as you're doing this for Mrs.

Grant, does she have any preferences that you can think of?

Well, she's always looking through magazines, pointing out things. Let's

Oh, yeah.

Light and airy.

That's what the captions on the pictures always say.

Light and airy.

And inexpensive.

That's what I always say.

But not cheap.

Right. Well, how does a more uncluttered look sound?

Mm -hmm.

What about colors?

Yeah, colors would be nice.

What colors do you like?

Oh, I don't know.

Gray?

Muted colors.

How do you feel about antiques?

No, no. Edie doesn't like antiques. That's why we're getting rid of all

things, isn't it?

No antiques?

No. I want all new things.

Except... Except what?

That chair.

Except this chair?

Yeah.

I used to sit in it and wait for my daughters to come home from their dates.

The hours I spent... Hey,

see these marks on the arm here?

What the... These gouges. Yeah.

Those are from my fingernails.

When the girls stayed out after midnight.

I used to sit in this chair.

staring at that doorknob, waiting for it to turn.

The chair stays.

Is there anything else that you want to keep?

Maybe the doorknob.

Anybody want a beer?

Oh, no, I don't think so, thank you. Yeah, I could use one.

Hey, I think you're going to be a good decorator.

Do you get anything out of all that?

Oh, sure.

I'll refer to this constantly.

What he wants is a room that's early American contemporary Spanish.

Light and airy, inexpensive but not cheap.

For colors, he likes muted, but most preferably gray.

No antiques, all new, except for this tacky old green chair and a beat -up

doorknob. Well, you want a challenge, don't you? Sure, Mary, I want a

I just get the feeling that this room might win.

Back issues of House and Home Magazine. I figured I'd use some of those rooms as

a guide. Oh, yeah, great.

Mary, I don't know what the correct psychological term is for what I'm going

through, but I think it would be called scared.

I got rid of all of Lou's furniture, and boy, is that room empty.

Oh, hey, you sold it all. Great. Yeah, and it wasn't easy.

I called every secondhand furniture store in that book.

Finally, I got this guy named Barney to buy it. Gave me $175 for it. Well...

That's not too bad.

Yeah, Ben, he charged me $100 to take it away.

Listen, what do you think of blue?

Oh, well, blue is certainly one of your popular colors.

Well, I'll ask Mr. Grant tomorrow at the office what he thinks of it. Good. Do

that. While you're at it, ask him what he thinks of brown.

And beige.

Well, now, wait. Everybody likes beige.

What's not to like about beige? I guess that's the reason why everybody likes

it. It's too blah, huh?

You're making yourself crazy.

I know, I know. But this could be big for me. I mean, if I do good and lose,

could be a whole new career, not just a job, you know?

Well, Rhoda, I wouldn't get too carried away if I were you. I mean, you know,

don't quit down at Hempel's or anything.

So now you think I can't do it, right?

No. Of course I think you can do it. I just think you ought to take this thing

one step at a time.

Take what one step at a time? Oh, hi, Phyllis. Well, Rhoda was just showing me

some ideas.

that she has for Mr. Grant's place.

Oh, oh, let me see.

Oh, please. Well, uh... Oh, it'll be fun.

Okay.

Isn't this fun?

Now, I've, uh, I've chosen this lamp.

Oh. What do you think of it, Mayor? Oh, well... No good, huh? Well, then there's

this one.

Huh? This is good, too. Uh -huh. And then I thought, no, Rhoda, no, this is

better, this one. Now, this one I think is maybe the best.

What? What?

Nothing. Nothing.

It's just an involuntary shudder.

A shudder, huh?

Okay, that's it.

Rhoda, no, come on. Look, we want to help, don't we, Phyllis? Certainly we

Oh,

look, girls, I'm sorry. It's best that I do this on my own. If the two of you

help me and it turns out terrific, I won't know who's good, you or me.

Oh, Rhoda. No, Mary, it's true. Listen, it's best that I do this myself.

Then if I bomb out, which I probably will, at least I'll have the

of knowing that I bombed out on my own.

Yeah.

Well, I think we helped her, don't you?

Hmm. What are you reading there, Ted?

Classic comic?

Of course not.

Happens to be a brochure from the famous announcer school.

I'm thinking of lending my name to their teaching staff.

But don't stop there, Ted. Why don't you donate your whole body?

Oh, come on, Rhoda. Thanks for what?

Don't be silly.

Bye -bye.

Oh, she is so excited about this decorating thing. She calls to thank me

time she picks a new piece of furniture.

She's doing great things for her confidence.

What's it doing for Lou's living room? Well, we don't know. She isn't showing

anyone yet.

Oh, Lou.

What do you think of the famous announcer school?

Terrific, Ted. When do you start?

Oh, oh, Mr. Grant. I almost forgot. Rhoda called to say that your furniture

be in by 7 o 'clock tonight.

Wonderful. You were right about Rhoda. She's good.

Oh, I'm so glad.

Mm -hmm. Hey, what's it look like so far?

Well, all there is so far is a primer coat of white paint on the walls.

Well, then how do you know she's good?

By the way she hollers at the painters.

She really knows what she's doing.

She ordered this great ashtray, this big, round, glass ashtray.

Came this morning. She's great.

Oh, well, I can't wait to see it.

I guess she'll be getting home pretty late from your house tonight. I wonder

she wants me to stop over there and pick her up.

Huh. Is that a hint that you want to see what she's done?

Yeah.

Well, then, why don't you give me a lift home and you can see it? Oh, could I?

Good. Well, I feel it's only right, since you arranged everything, that you

there at the unveiling to share my happiness, if it turns out great.

And take the blame if it stinks.

Rhoda, go turn on the lights.

Why? I want you to see the place in one burst.

One burst?

love it.

Mary, would I say I love it if I didn't love it? No, he must really love it.

I do.

I really do.

You really do?

Really? I really love it.

I love it.

I love it so much I want you to go upstairs to the master bedroom to see

ideas you can come up with. Oh!

stuff is blinding me.

What is all this? Please tell me. Well, Mr.

Grant, all white is a very clean look.

I'll say it's clean. I feel I have to scrub up to sit on that couch.

Mary, this is supposed to be a living room.

A living room.

I can't live here.

Look at me.

It's not anybody.

Look at that.

Look at that.

I'll bet she went to four other paintings before she chose that one.

What is that? The price?

If it is, then it should be.

Mary, we have a problem here.

I'm going to have to tell her, huh?

Well, I did get you into this, so I guess... Yes, in a small sense.

In a large sense, it is my fault.

Lou! Hey, Lou!

Listen to this. What do you think of a fur bedspread? Then one whole wall of

mirrors to give it a spacious... What's the matter?

Oh, nothing.

He doesn't love it anymore.

Well, no, Rudy, it's just that after having lived with it for a while now...

minutes! Well...

He is afraid that maybe Mrs. Grant won't love it as much as he loves it. Yeah.

I just spoke to Mrs. Grant on the phone, and she

didn't care for it too much.

I tried to talk her into it, but you know how she is.

A lot like you, huh?

Yeah.

Fortunately, it's not paid for yet.

Oh. So, uh, what would you like to keep?

Well, I like, uh, the green chair.

And I also like, uh, I, uh, like, um, that

ashtray. Yeah.

I love this big glass ashtray. He does. He told us about this ashtray at the

office. It's not an ashtray. What?

The legs for it didn't come yet. It's a glass occasional table.

That's what it is.

Oh.

Well, just the green chair then.

Right, right.

Listen, Lou, I'll have all this stuff picked up. First thing tomorrow.

Right now, I better get over to Barney's and try and buy back your furniture.

I hope he hasn't sold it all.

Sold it? Let's hope he hasn't burned it.

She's just kidding, Mr. Grant.

Kidder.

It really is a beautiful room.

Yeah, I know.

I do.

There's only one thing that doesn't belong in here.

The green chair.

No, the man in the green chair.

Is Mr. Grant in yet?

No.

Hey, Rhoda.

Hiya, Murray. Murray, will you please tell her how much I loved the room she

for Mr. Grant?

Yeah, Mary said it was something out of house and home.

It was. August 1969.

Page 83.

Oh.

Morning. Morning.

Hey, Rhoda.

I want to thank you. My wife loves what you did to the place.

I didn't do anything.

No, no.

It's the walls, the white walls.

That made the difference.

She says it makes the whole place lighter and brighter.

She loves it. She loves it? Really?

Mary, tell her. Would I say she loves it if she didn't love it?

Uh, no. She must really love it. Oh, that's good. That's really good.

Oh, then there's the, uh, the little matter of your feet.

Oh, Lou, thank you so much. This is really gonna...

chinker -chinker?

Well, some of it's in change.

Oh, good. I was afraid maybe all of it was in change.