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I'm willing to keep it clean.

No kicking, no biting, and absolutely no bad language.

Are we understood?

On your mark, get set... Go!

What's happened?

Right, right.

It's like Friday night in the cell. They're kids, Geordie.

I see one. I see an egg.

For the most part, anyway.

Look! Look at all this.

Isn't it wonderful?

It is wonderful.

You did this, Alfie. With an awful lot of help.

Aye,

aye.

Isn't that the girl?

What girl?

Oh, don't look.

I said don't look.

Ah, she's waving.

Didn't work out then.

We didn't have much in common.

Shame. Good dirty hip.

Make nice babies.

Oh, it was one drink.

And I was nothing but gentlemanly. I've got a nickname for him. Tell us. Please

don't tell them. The good reverend, love him and leave him. Very good, I like

it. I'm not that bad.

Rosa from Eagle.

Okay, so there was Rosa.

Lillian from the station.

We went to the cinema once.

So there was the redhead.

Okay, that was just a...

Brief fling?

Valiant. Mistake.

I'm not that bad, okay?

Morning, Reverend.

Oh, morning. How are we?

Morning.

The

end

is nigh.

The end is nigh.

It's an hijacking. That's what this is.

Easter has been hijacked by the devil incarnate.

Morning, Reg. How are we? How are we?

Doom 12, fire for all eternity. That's how we are.

No donkey ride for you, then?

You know what Easter was when I was a child?

You were there when they rolled the stone away, weren't you?

Wake up, pray.

Church, pray.

Home, pray.

None of this fiddle -faddle.

We're just having fun, Reg.

What's the sacrifice of our good Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, got to do

fun? What's it got to do with bonnets and eggs and bunnies?

This country has gone to the dogs. You know why? Is it the bunnies?

We don't know who we are anymore.

Used to be we were God -fearing, rule -abiding, dignified.

Got one!

Children would be seen, not heard.

Flouncing around, screaming blue murder.

But look, they're here, Ed.

They're coming to church.

It's got to be a good thing, hasn't it?

So you'll be telling them all about Jesus, will you? Of course.

Now it's in the hand.

Suffering? Maybe not so much emphasis on the suffering.

Reg, why don't you come to the service?

I'd love you to be there.

Two Easter is celebrated in the solemnity it deserves. I will not step

inside that church.

Milk?

Two sugars?

And a biscuit, if you can stretch to it.

Hey, I can do better than that.

Fiddle faddle. There he is.

My big silly bunny.

You know my misgivings about this Mavis. Oh, keep it on, Reg.

He looks ever so sweet, doesn't he look sweet?

Very sweet.

Hope he hasn't been bending your ear, Vicar. Not at all.

Enjoy yourselves.

Oh, come here. He's a very good listener, you know.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Okay, let go.

Welcome to our inaugural Easter family service. The first of many, I hope.

When the disciples went to the tomb early that Easter Sunday morning, they

expected to mourn for their friend, but he was gone.

And the angels told them, Jesus is risen.

He loved us so much that he lived and died for us.

Is there any greater love than that?

I'm so blessed to be able to share that love with you.

In our beautiful church.

Didn't say anything.

But you was going to.

To be able to share my first year in Grantchester.

With so many wonderful people.

Know that I am always here to serve, to advise, and to listen.

I am in the midst of an existential crisis.

Okay, any idea what said that was?

The hat.

A computer has stolen my job.

A what?

Do you know how many days I spent on this hat?

Five. Do you know how many days she spent on that hat?

Five? It's the size of the staff room.

The hat?

The computer.

Used to be I was trusted with the payroll. Now the computer does it.

I love doing the payroll.

She hated doing the payroll.

I said to her, time to change.

Did she listen to me?

I have been replaced by a machine.

Of course you didn't.

Daniel is about to make the biggest mistake of his life.

I'm just so... Completely over the moon.

I've done it, Alfie.

I've arranged to meet my parents.

The parents who shunned him. Mark my word, families never bring happiness.

I'm so happy.

I can't tell you how happy I am.

I am bored.

I am bored with myself, Alfie.

I am a boring person.

Am I boring?

Thank you.

You are many things.

You're not boring.

Thank you, Vicar. Give my regards to Reg.

I do.

No one listens to me anymore.

Not Cathy, not Larry, certainly not the kids.

Not even you, apparently. Thank you for coming.

Wouldn't miss it, the one.

Don't start.

I'm all for it.

Fling away.

Fling away till you're all flung out.

That's what you want, of course.

Is that what you want?

Everyone stay back.

Stay back.

Just like that fellow of yours.

What fellow?

Jesus.

I'd say there's zero chance we're just rising again.

Did he seem depressed to you?

Suicidal? Short -tempered, maybe, but... Depressed?

Then again, he does have a sign saying the end is nice.

Doesn't imply he's full of the joys of spring.

He only got engaged a few months back.

It's quite a cheery thing to do.

Nice girl?

Very.

But... I... He was such a gloomy man, and she's a bit of a

floozy.

Geordie, you can't say that.

Well, what do you know? I just did.

Aye, aye.

Bullet casing.

Well, that's to be expected, isn't it?

For a suicide, one is.

Two, on the other hand.

Keep it, Fitz.

Sorry, we were just, um... The table has been a bit wobbly.

Yes. Much better now, though.

Thank you, Detective.

You stay where I can see you.

Now, please, take a seat at our newly fixed table.

I don't think there were fits in the table.

Now... How about your fellow Reg?

He was my fiancé.

Your fiancé?

It's French.

I know.

And I loved him very much.

He was a wonderful man.

He was dismal as sin.

See a rainbow, it notices the clouds.

But for all that, I adored him.

We were just so...

Was he always unhappy?

Always. So him taking his own life... I worried it might happen one day.

So soon before the wedding.

How did he propose?

Out of interest?

Down on one knee?

Oh, no, the knees weren't up to much.

The thing is, Mavis, we're not entirely sure it is suicide.

What else could it be?

No. No one would want to hurt Reg.

No.

You were having a rather animated conversation with him before the

It was in one of his moods.

So I said to him, Reg, go to the doctors.

Talk to someone.

Get some help.

Did he listen?

No. So the proposal, was it a...

Grand gesture, or... Sorry.

Carry on.

My office.

Should I bring my notepad?

No?

I think we need to have a little chat, don't you?

About what?

Just admit it before he explodes.

I thought we were being quite discreet. Quite discreet?

Everyone knows.

Even the criminals.

Seeing as... I can't believe I'm uttering these words. You can't control

yourselves around each other. We can control ourselves, can't we?

Have a little respect.

For yourselves.

For me.

For the criminals.

Yes, boss.

Understood.

Background on Reg. Quick smart, please.

Reginald James Waite. Date of birth, 23rd of the 3rd, 1901.

Made a name for himself in Bakelite.

He's loaded, apparently.

Next of kin, his sister, is a Miss Eliza Waite of Trumpington.

And I made you a cup of tea. Milk, no sugar.

Bring her in, then. The sister.

Excuse me, Miss Epstein.

We were about to tell you.

Before you started with all the crossness.

The table really was on one... Out!

That's him.

It's your brother, Reginald White.

I was afraid he'd do this.

Was he always downbeat?

Mum called them in dark moods.

He was a war hero.

Did you know that?

Reg was.

Won the military cross for bravery.

Reg did.

Bravest man I ever met.

Then he just disappeared.

Why didn't you just come to me, Reggie?

Reggie. Right.

Shall we make the arrangement?

Arrangements? The paperwork and whatnot.

Paperwork?

For the funeral.

I would think it's best to be prompt with these things.

The police will have to conclude their investigation first.

That'll take.

What, a couple of days?

It'll take as long as it takes, Miss Wade.

It's with Mum and Dad now.

And Arthur.

Arthur was our golden retriever.

Poor dear Reggie.

Poor dear Reggie, my arse.

She'd put him out with the bins if she could.

Well, grief presents itself in odd ways.

Nah, she was fishy.

Very nice.

Reg has done well for himself.

Everyone keeps saying he was depressed.

Maybe he did just kill himself.

Maybe.

Maybe it's just that simple.

Maybe.

You're not buying it, are you? Not for a second.

Well, Mavis was on to a winner with this fella.

Geordie.

He watched the birds.

Of course he did.

He'd written a reminder to buy bird feed.

That doesn't fit with the man's set on taking his own life, does it?

Why is that his military cross?

No, just regular service medals.

What, if you won a military cross? It would be up there, pride of place.

Something doesn't add up about any of this, does it? Nope.

Fishy? It's fishy.

Isn't it marvellous?

Would have preferred a new settee.

Our happiest memories preserved for all eternity on celluloid.

That's what the brain does, isn't it? Preserve memories?

For free, too.

Alfie!

Where's that cable?

Still looking, Jack.

He wants me to fire him.

Who does?

Mr Draper.

He wants me to fire my girls.

Says they're redundant now we have the computer.

I'm ready to resign.

Do you think I should resign?

Well, what does Jodie think?

He might have an informed opinion.

Oh, you were serious.

Just ask him, Cathy.

Or you could.

Save a few hours bickering.

Oh.

He's not as good as Mum and Alfie at all.

Alfie. Leonard.

I was hoping you might be able to have a word with Daniel.

Why don't you have a word with him? I just think it might be better coming

you. And why is that?

Because then I don't have to say it.

Leonard.

One second.

Vicarage. Yeah.

Geordie?

Larry?

Larry, put Mr. Scott down. What have you got for me?

Daniel's had so much turmoil in his life. I just... I have a feeling this

get him over the edge. Just a sec.

I can't hear a word.

Bernard, he's a grown man.

He's capable of making his own decisions.

I can hear you now.

Go ahead, Larry.

Jack!

Here we are. Ah!

Perfect. What are we looking for?

Reg, Mavis, anything untoward?

Like you, not giving my hat first prize.

Right, there's Reg, looking alive and well.

Is that what I look like?

When did I get so many chins?

And there he is with Mavis.

I'll keep my eye on that one, if I were you. She's a minx.

Hey, she loved rudge, Mrs. Singh.

She loves a lot of men, if you gather my meaning.

How can we when you're just so incredibly subtle?

I knew him a little from the Rotary Club.

He was lonely, poor chap.

He was also rich, Jack.

And she's a goer.

Always down the cow and car, in the back room, playing billiards.

In absolute blues.

Post -Mormon.

Single shot.

When Bullitt lodged in Reg's temple loan.

No temple, no talk, and there's food on the table.

So where's the other Bullitt?

Good question, Leonard.

I thought so too.

Hey, what's she doing?

There. See?

She's hiding something.

She was round about here.

Why is she hiding a pocket knife?

Good, eh?

Maybe he fired a warning shot.

If you're going to kill yourself, why fire a warning shot?

Come on, end it over for us.

There you go.

I don't know about you, but I reckon that's the most funny kind of thing,

it? You should know, David.

Oh.

Oh, grief has taken its toll, I see.

I'm devastated about Reggie. Yeah, we got that.

What's the alternative?

Kyle up in a ball?

Give up?

Two shots were fired, Mavis.

I never heard two shots.

Did you hear two shots?

She does have a point.

Why'd you hide this?

I was...

I was worried he'd do himself a mischief, so I took it off him.

F .J.? Who's F .J.? I've no idea.

You loved Reg?

Yes. The end is nigh, Reg.

We'd snuggle up, drink tea.

Wasn't sex a glamour?

I'd say.

But I've never felt one myself.

I've never had that feeling before.

He doesn't believe me.

I believe you.

Really?

Really. I've done nothing wrong.

Well, apart from cavorting with that fibby fella at the billions.

Reggie was the love of my life.

I never thought I deserved that.

I never thought I'd be lucky enough to have it.

But he's gone.

He's gone.

And I haven't got the luxury of hanging around.

You really believe her?

Yeah. Why not?

She is no more the settling -down type than you are.

Well, people aren't types, Geordie.

They have emotions and feelings and... All right.

Nothing happened?

We're off the clock.

All right.

Reg's service record.

Thank you.

Reginald Wade, 2nd Battalion, Cambridgeshire Regiment.

Military cross?

Military cross.

Carried three injured men away from enemy fire.

Reg did.

It says it right here.

Bird watching Reg.

Tea drinking devout Reg.

The gung -ho war hero. Nothing is right about this. Nothing's right about any of

it. Larry!

Task for you. Got somewhere to be. Sorry, boss.

Miss Scott?

The picture's with my beau.

That's me.

I'm her beau.

Those two are really starting to get on my nerves.

How about you?

Fancy a task?

Or you've got a date tonight.

Um, hello?

Hushed tone.

Please.

Sorry.

Sorry.

You apologise an awful lot.

I was just wondering if you could... No.

No? You're in the wrong place.

I don't think so.

The meeting is next door.

I'm not here for the meeting.

Oh. What are you here for?

Uh, it's police business.

I'm looking for any references to a Reginald Waite war almanac, newspapers.

Here's your haystack.

Good luck finding that needle.

What was the meeting?

The meeting you thought I was going to?

Lonely Hearts Club.

You thought I looked like a lonely heart?

Well, you have a vaguely lonely quality about you.

Well, that's depressing.

Also, I assumed that you weren't here to borrow the latest potboiler.

Why not?

You don't look the bookish type.

I'm bookish.

I love books.

You love books.

Test me.

On books? On all of literature?

Yep.

Have you read War and Peace?

Yes. Liar. I've read it, yeah.

I didn't say I enjoyed it.

The Bible?

Come on, hundreds of times.

You?

Too much begetting and begatting for my liking.

Shame. The begetting's the best bit.

I'm Alfie, by the way.

And I am leaving you to it, Reverend.

I love books.

Okay.

Let's just get down to brass tacks.

Reference to hardware.

Sounds serious.

No, it's not serious.

Well, it is a bit serious. Let me guess.

My parents.

If you know something's going to end in disaster... Which we don't.

What if they reject you again?

Then I'll be sad for a while.

And after that, I'll be fine.

It's very sweet of you, but it's my worry, not yours.

It is a little bit my worry, isn't it? Because whatever happens to you, it by

proxy happens to me.

I love you.

But it's not your concern, Leonard.

Not my concern.

Tea.

Lovely. Thank you.

Of course it's my bloody word.

What? Leonard Finch.

Yes, speaking.

This is Harold Jones. I'm a solicitor. It's with regard to your father.

Oh, Lord, what have you done now?

I'm afraid he's passed away, Mr Finch.

Oh.

Oh. It was a stroke.

Over very quickly.

Right.

So I'll be needing to make funeral arrangements.

The funeral was last week.

Really?

Why wasn't I informed?

We've sent them on to you.

Sorry.

You really need to stop apologizing.

I couldn't have your phone number, could I?

No.

Okay.

That's fair enough.

Do you want to know why?

You don't have to explain.

Because you'll take my number and I'll become this annoying mooning schoolgirl

who sits around just waiting for you to call.

And you never will call.

And then I'll be terribly sad.

Well, how about I promise to call?

What if you get run over or something?

That's not going to happen. It might happen.

And then I'll become a bitter old spinster all because you never called.

That would be a shame.

No phone number, then?

He had a trouble.

You didn't, did you?

In a library.

You sly old dog.

Reginald waits.

winner of the military cross.

Only that's not Reg.

It's Martin Gare.

Who? It's a true story from the 16th century. Martin goes to war, returns,

settles back down with his wife.

Only it's not the same man.

He looked familiar to you?

How about a game, Reg?

We know you'd like this matter promptly settled, Miss Wayne. It's always best to

be prompt. Couldn't agree more. If you could just do us one more favor.

Of course.

We're hoping you could identify your brother.

I already did that, didn't I?

She did already do that, Charlie. It took a terrible toll if this happened,

seeing him like that.

Well, brace yourself.

Hello, Ellie.

You bugger!

You absolute bugger!

I'm sorry, that's a positive ID.

Positive might be threatening.

That's enough. Just wait.

We grew up strict.

Wasn't a life, it was a prison.

You remember how it was, Ellie?

Remember? I was still living it while you were off gallivanting.

I went away to war.

I saw the world.

Drank your way around it, more like. I got a taste for life.

I couldn't go back.

Left the army with just the suit they gave me.

Your demob suit.

Thought I recognised it.

Kept yours, did you?

They don't make them like that anymore.

So you met this man and... swapped identities?

Wasn't really that thought through. What was his name?

Well, his initials, S .J.

By any chance?

Silas. Silas Jennings.

He wasn't happy with his lot, I wasn't happy with mine.

So he became Reg and I became Silas. And you left us all behind.

After a while, you forget the life you had and you become someone else.

I wouldn't believe a word that comes out of his mouth if I were you.

You told us the dead stranger was your brother.

I just took advantage of a situation that presented itself.

The dead man on a slab?

Mum died recently.

The will was all tied up, waiting for Reggie to come back.

So you pronounced him dead and inherited the family fortune.

I deserve that money.

I wouldn't believe a word that comes out of her mouth.

Just help me out here, Reg.

You say you had nothing to do with this man's death?

Correct. A dead man with your name, whose fiancée we saw you cavorting with,

your sister identified as you, and you had nothing to do with it?

Happenstance. That's a hell of a lot of happenstance.

Seems to me that's all you've got.

Go on, then, arrest me. Arrest both of us. Take us to court.

All you've got is a handful of happenstance, and they'll let us go on

doubt.

You know it, and I know it.

Gentlemen.

Eliza, you fussy old cow.

Rocked in hell, Reg.

They could be in on it together.

They hate each other's gods.

Mavis, on the other hand.

Mavis was in the churchyard when the gun went off.

She's a nice woman.

Single and all.

If you're so inclined.

I wish you wouldn't do that. Do what? Make out like I'm some kind of Lothario.

Oh, Alfie.

I think you're a handsome young man with an enviable head of hair who's having

fun. As long as it makes you happy.

I want to find someone. Of course you do.

Like you found Kathy.

The thing is, Alfie, all the good stuff, all the meaningful stuff,

that doesn't happen unless you stick around.

I love them, but don't leave them.

You said it, not me.

Here we go.

I know how strongly you feel about my parents who are getting on now, and I

don't want to miss this chance to be... Go.

You should go.

I have more.

I have a whole speech.

No speech necessary.

What changed your mind?

Just a little perspective.

Then a very large glass of whiskey.

No, really.

What's happened?

You deserve happiness.

And your parents deserve forgiveness.

So.

My number.

I figure this way I do all the schoolgirl moonings, so you don't have

What if I never call?

What have I got to lose?

I don't know your dignity.

Dignity is overrated.

So I'll be at home, watching the phone hot in my mouth.

I'm Margaret, by the way.

Are you a Maggie?

A Meg?

A Margaret.

Until I'm sure I really like you.

There he is, my big silly bunny.

Is that what my face looks like?

You have a perfectly good face.

Geordie? Miss Scott.

I'm so sorry about all the canoodling recently.

It's not the canoodling that bothers me.

You're better than most of the fellas out there.

Jo? Show a little respect?

Some common courtesy wouldn't go amiss.

Won't happen again, sir.

The last will and testament of Reginald Waite, formerly known as Silas Jennings.

Who's the lucky winner?

Last page.

Congratulations, Mavis. She gets the house, the business.

And the ref.

Silas made a real name for himself.

Meanwhile, Reg has nothing to show for his life but that catty old suit.

Boy, that's a bit tattier.

The suit.

The demon suit.

Mavis knew who Silas was all along.

She really loved Silas. She knew him better than anyone.

Reg was there.

Real Reg, I mean.

There was a Martin girl.

It was a tale of two cities.

The wrong man died.

You were there when Silas died, weren't you, Reg?

Who says?

A little bunny told him.

You're silly bunny City was his nickname

short for Silas You

never meant to kill him

I've never known a place like it.

You were the only ones who knew.

That Silas wasn't who he said he was.

He made a fortune.

All that money made him an appealing target.

That was my money.

Made it off the back of my name. That ate you up, didn't it? He took your name

and made something of himself.

You could never have done what he did.

He moved up in the world, and you're still scrabbling for pennies in your

suit.

So you set up a honey trap.

Avis would make a play for Silas.

Then it worked.

He fell for you.

He put you in the will.

You were set to inherit everything.

All you needed was for him to die.

Then you got to know him.

He was sweet to me.

You fell in love.

But Roger wouldn't stop.

He was determined to go ahead with the plan.

Don't hurt him.

Please. Just stop.

And you decided you weren't going to stand for it.

You're going to kill Reg instead.

You stupid cow.

The church bells rang.

You took your moment.

That's why no one had the shot.

But you shot the wrong man.

Don't. Don't.

You get yourself to church, all right?

I'll sort us out. That'd be fine.

Well, maybe I'll have that in order.

I did.

And so Reg did sort it.

Gave you an alibi.

When all along that bullet was meant for you, Reg.

You think he could love a worthless tart like you?

But he did love her.

That's a tragedy.

He could have been happy.

Some people aren't meant to be happy, I guess.

It's just the way it is.

She's never going to call, is she?

Just you and me, boy.

Come on.