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Original subtitles

Previously on Watson...

You're coercing me into putting up

a dating profile.

THE REP: Shinwell Johnson,

we're not to be ignored.

An order arrives,

an order is executed.

INGRID: What do you want?

MORIARTY: I'm not looking to bribe you,

Dr. Derian.

When you can't stand in the middle any more,

when you can't play both sides...

...who are you?

MARY: I was warned that you were a dangerous person

to have around. If you don't find

another job within two months, then you're fired.

Have you ever felt like you're not good enough, Dr. Watson?

I think everybody has.

My last name is Phipps.

There are expectations. Achievement. Vigor.

But my health has never fully cooperated.

First, epilepsy.

It got so bad, I had to have a surgery

to sever the connection between the lobes of my brain.

(tapping) Oh.

(laughs) There we go. Yeah. It never rests

for very long now.

I'm sorry.

So you're not controlling that? Um,

why would I undress in front of a man

that I just met, Dr. Watson?

No. Uh... No. No one told me that this could be a side effect

of the surgery. Sometimes my left hand

works against what I'm trying to do.

Other times it goes off on missions of its own.

I'm sorry if I'm staring, Mr. Phipps, but I've

never seen a case of alien hand syndrome in person.

A year I've been living like this.

A year of my own hand working against me.

Well, unfortunately, there is no known cure.

It's so rare that it... There is a cure.

There has always been a cure.

I just need a doctor who's willing to give it to me.

Dr. Watson, I'd like for you to amputate my left hand.

Um... (laughs) I mean...

It's driving me insane,

and I think it might want to hurt me.

Well, I mean, it's a neurological phenomenon.

Your hand doesn't want anything from you.

I want it gone. First of all...

...I'm not a surgeon.

Eight surgeons have turned me down.

You are a thought leader, you're a man of influence.

You can help me find one.

You are not gonna find a reputable doctor

who's willing to cut off your hand, Mr. Phipps.

(door opens)

Everything all right in here, guv?

It is, Shinwell, thank you.

My family can pay.

I am very familiar with who your family is. Listen,

I understand

that you are suffering, Mr. Phipps, and

I will work with you,

but I'm not gonna help you amputate your hand.

The man obviously trusts you.

Perhaps you can influence his decision.

Dr. Watson is not keen to negotiate.

I'll pay. 15 grand to make the approach.

Well, there's no need to be quite so spendy, guv.

I know a bloke in Brighton

who will lop that hand off for 50 quid.

CAMERON: And 15, of course, is just

a starting offer. Oh,

yeah... Dr. Watson was

quite clear-- no amputations today.

Sorry to disappoint, Mr. Phipps.

How can I help you, Miss?

(American accent): I'm just trying my luck with Dr. Watson.

Unfortunately, we've changed our policy

regarding pharma reps. No loitering.

So...

(elevator bell dings)

(phone chimes, buzzes)

SHINWELL: What are you doing in our office?

(regular voice): Gathering ideas. Taking attendance.

That's good. You've learned not to ask why.

Do you mind if I just...?

(grunts)

Not too many.

I'm rather fond of it.

Professor Moriarty would like similar specimens

from each of the fellows at the clinic.

Doesn't have to be hair.

A tissue, maybe.

All right.

So, you're collecting DNA.

What do you want theirs for?

(sighs)

ADAM: Hey. Let's check again.

You're more obsessed with my profile than I am.

Not obsessed, just in awe.

It's like an eclipse

or the northern lights.

You're actually getting likes. You cracked the dating apps.

Is the vibe weird in here?

Hello. You with me?

Ever since that night with your spinal patient,

the vibe's been like... weird between you and Watson, right?

INGRID: I haven't noticed anything.

Can I help you with something?

SASHA: Geez Louise.

Good night, Dr. Derian.

I have something for you.

What is it? I know, officially,

I'm supposed to be looking for a new job.

I understand Dr. Morstan doesn't trust me.

I can't be part of the spinal signal project anymore,

I accept that.

Mary is not one to walk back a decision.

There are meaningful concessions in there.

Please just read it.

If you think it is worth saving, then just...

say so. Pass that on to Dr. Morstan.

Ingrid, I know this wasn't easy for you.

Dr. Watson, do you know a man named Cameron Phipps?

Yes. He just came into the ER

via ambulance, and right before he passed out,

he asked to see you.

ANDREWS: He came in with chemical burns

on his right shoulder and his back.

I didn't get the whole story,

but I'm told it was hydrochloric acid.

You're Watson?

I'm Damian Phipps.

Cameron's brother. What happened to him, Damian?

We were touring the new labs we just endowed.

Um, students were working in there. Uh...

Walking past one of the lab stations and Cam...

It just happened before any of us could stop him.

He grabbed a container that was half-full of liquid--

hydrochloric acid, I think-- and

poured it on his back. Uh, wait.

So he burned himself with hydrochloric acid?

He didn't want to do it, Dr. Watson.

He was screaming in agony until

the pain meds took hold.

Did Cameron burn himself, or was it...

Cameron's hand?

โ™ช โ™ช

CAMERON: I'm gonna die. This thing is going to kill me.

No, no, you're not gonna die by your own h...

You're not gonna die.

I'm not gonna let that happen.

Sorry.

Maybe we should just... let it do what it wants.

Cam, world needs you. For what?

I'm a freak with an alien hand,

and now I have the burn scars to match.

Nurse Andrews, can you restrain Cameron's left arm, please?

I'll keep my eye on him.

Absolutely I will.

Hey, hey, hey, I need you for one thing.

Yeah, be my brother.

Can you believe Damian's my brother?

He just glides through the world.

Oh, yes, of course I can. You both have

widow's peaks, you have flared eyebrows,

and your...

You're being facetious.

You have my sympathies

for everything you're going through, Mr. Phipps,

but you are in the right place.

My team and I, we do work on unusual cases.

And if you let us, I promise you we will find a way to help.

INGRID: Chop it off. Give him what he wants.

It's not even his dominant hand.

Cameron Phipps can afford

the best prosthetics on the market.

I don't see the issue.

The issue is, we took an oath.

That's among the issues. (phone chimes, buzzes)

INGRID: Cameron would be better off.

Unless he never wakes up from the anesthesia,

or has phantom limb pain, or gets deep vein thrombos...

There's no injury, disease, or trauma

to Mr. Phipps's hand.

So let's agree that we're not going to

amputate it. (phone chiming, buzzing)

Oh, sorry.

If we're not gonna do the obvious thing,

we should assess his cognitive function.

We should run brain imaging.

Last night Cameron Phipps's left hand

picked up a jar of acid and poured it down his back.

(phone chimes, buzzes) (sighs)

Does someone need you, Dr. Croft? (phone continues chiming)

That is the sound of women all over Pittsburgh

trying to break off and nibble a piece of my brother.

SASHA: We want to protect Cameron Phipps from his own hand,

it seems like we need to attenuate

some of his motor functions.

What's the line, though?

Where does the "alien" threshold end

and the patient's functioning mobility begin?

We know how to take his motor functions to zero. (Watson clears throat)

ADAM: What about botulinum toxin? It's a literal paralytic.

Rich people use it all the time to freeze their faces

so that they don't get wrinkles.

We could use it to freeze Cameron Phipps' left hand.

WATSON: Okay, a targeted injection into the extensor muscle

in the left forearm.

Well, we need to figure out the right dosage,

and that could provide partial relief.

I'm proposing something

a little more foolproof.

I don't think there's such a thing

as "partial amputation," Dr. Watson.

Uh, last I checked, it-it was all-or-nothing.

WATSON: Think of your left hand as a battery.

Full usage means it's fully charged,

but if we can drain it,

we can take away some of its functions.

You'd still have

some mobility left,

not enough to hurt yourself or anybody else.

How would you do this?

Surgery. We'd target the nerves

controlling the hand movements and deaden them.

I want it. I want it today. Has anyone ever done this before?

Well, it can't happen

until we find a neurosurgeon first.

And this operation would be the first of its kind.

We'd keep your brother's hand immobile

with some neurotoxin injections until we can arrange everything.

And that's been done before? WATSON: Well, it's not

the standard of care, but alien hand syndrome is-is so rare,

there really is no standard.

CAMERON: Look at it, Damian.

It feels like this thing wants the end of me.

These treatments,

they'll give me my life back?

If these shots work,

we can discharge you as soon as tomorrow.

You can recover from home

until we have everything arranged or

until you need another injection.

CAMERON: Let's do it.

Give me the shots. Let's find a surgeon.

Okay, then. Thank you.

Uh, we'll add your name to the list of candidates.

No ego like a neurosurgeon ego.

Got some interest? Uh, two local.

Three willing to get on the next flight.

Watson has his pick. (chuckles softly) Nice.

Are you okay? Excuse me?

You and I, w-we're friends. I think we're friends.

We do friend-adjacent stuff.

Okay, where is this all coming from?

That patient from the spinal signal thing,

are you connected to her?

(chuckles softly)

It's the only thing that makes sense.

She comes in that night,

you have this intense conversation

with Watson and Mary, and suddenly

you're off the project.

You left a letter in the printer tray.

You're looking around for other jobs?

Why do you want to know all this?

Because we're friends.

You know, I like you.

That's why we can't be friends.

You tell me

you're my friend,

and I start thinking about what to do with that.

People who are friends with me get hurt.

That's a lonely way to live.

Yeah. So is being friends with everyone.

Yeah, I know that.

You are right, though. We can't be friends.

Not until you stop underestimating me.

And I would never let you hurt me.

(phone chimes, buzzes)

So, how does it feel?

Is it just numb or dead?

I can feel pressure if I poke it.

I can even move it if I concentrate.

You're hurt, Cam. We should call a car.

It's a mile to Shadyside,

and I've been lashed to a bed for the past 36 hours.

You don't have to walk with me.

I want to make sure you get settled.

Uh, did you, did you tell Dad that I, uh...

(stammers): about the burn?

He would've come, you know, if he could.

Right.

Uh... Whoa.

Okay. What, um...

You know what? They didn't give you enough?

Let's go back to the hospital.

Hey. Okay, okay.

Come on, let go. Help.

(grunting)

Cam. Dame.

Let go.

I can't, it's not me.

Cam.

(both grunt)

(gasping, clamoring)

The suspect has an alien hand?

WATSON: Alien hand syndrome.

Cameron Phipps has alien hand syndrome.

Spelled like it sounds?

It is. (sighs) I've got, let's say,

two dozen people who say they saw Mr. Phipps

shove his brother in front of a moving bus.

But this alien hand syndrome means

he's somehow not responsible?

I can't tell you what happened 'cause I wasn't there.

But I can tell you that Cameron Phipps has

a rare medical condition in which his left hand

sometimes acts on its own accord.

So if he was saying that it was his hand and not him...

He is saying that.

...then it's at least possible that he's right.

Detective...?

Lestrade.

Detective Lestrade,

I know how this sounds, I do.

Cameron Phipps took out the only other direct heir

to the family fortune with this little move.

Made himself-- taking a stab here--

a hundred million dollars.

Fair. But he can't spend that money

if he's in prison for murder.

If he wanted to get rid of his brother,

why would he do it on the corner of a busy street?

If he was in cahoots with a doctor

who said he wasn't responsible, could explain all that.

Oh, you mean me? No. No, no, no, no.

I solve crimes. I don't, I don't commit 'em.

You solve crimes? Oh, yes, on an amateur basis.

S-Semi-pro, really.

Overseas. Not, not, not around

Pittsburgh or anything like that.

Listen, I-I understand how that sounds, too.

I-I do, but I am trying to tell you,

Cameron Phipps has a novel medical condition,

and he's also covered in second-degree burns.

He needs to be in a hospital,

under protective custody, if you'd like.

That's a judge's decision,

not mine.

I'll take your expertise under advisement.

Thank you. Can I talk to my patient now?

Go ahead.

You said my hand wouldn't work.

Yeah, I'm sorry, that dosage, it should have been sufficient.

It's an experimental procedure.

Dame was the only person in my family

who'd still encourage my ideas, and I-I killed him.

Okay, but was it really you, though, Cameron?

Does it matter?

Can I stand in front of a judge and-and say,

"It wasn't me, Your Honor. It was my hand"?

(phone rings)

You absolutely can say that.

You have experts backing you up.

Your lawyers, they can file for an injunction

to get you into a hospital today.

We have a-a surgeon ready to perform the operation.

Dr. Choi-- he's coming all the way from Korea tonight.

So by the time you stand trial,

the problem could be gone.

(phone rings)

Excuse me.

I'm a little busy, Shinwell.

SHINWELL: Did you, by chance,

order a pallet of fake meat product?

Fake meat? Of course not.

The box says "Phippshmeat."

Uh, that, that was me.

Oh, I-I believe it's a, uh,

it's a, it's a gift from our patient.

Uh-huh, all right.

I'll see you shortly.

I-I had that sent yesterday

when you took me on, um, before all-all this.

A-a pallet of fake meat?

Uh, "shmeat" is-is preferable. "Sheet of meat."

By the way, um,

how much freezer space do you have at the clinic?

Oh...

Nobody wants any Phippshmeat?

I can't see anything about FDA approval on the packaging.

This could be human meat for all we know.

You bring up cannibalism a lot. Something you want to tell us?

I'm out on anything lab-grown.

Hurry up and dump the shmeat.

We have a videoconference with Dr. Choi in Busan.

We're still doing surgery on Cameron?

This might be a legal case now,

but Cameron Phipps is still our patient.

The threat that hand poses is greater than ever.

Come on, come on,

let's go.

Dr. Choi has to board a long flight,

so let's stay focused.

(projector beeps)

Doctor, we propose to diminish the motor input

in the hand by 50%.

I still think it should be 80.

We undershot with the neurotoxin, and look what happened.

(phone chimes, buzzes)

ADAM: I thought you turned off notifications.

STEPHENS: That wasn't me.

WATSON: We're interested in your input, of course,

but we believe 50% will prevent

the transmission of certain nerve impulses and knock out

the alien hand

but still preserve enough of the motor input

so it could retain some essential functions.

Say, for instance, if the patient ever had children,

he'd be able to hold them.

If you can hold a baby,

you can throw a baby.

Okay, don't-don't translate that, please.

(Choi speaking Korean)

TRANSLATOR: We can accomplish this via a new technique

I named selective peripheral topographic neurolysis.

I can isolate the radial ulnar

and median nerves in the forearm

and selectively shave some of the motor fibers.

Guv. Guv?

Uh, Cameron Phipps

just finished his hearing.

The judge released him to UHOP.

(phone buzzes) WATSON: Okay, this all looks great.

Dr. Choi, thank you for your time.

You have a safe flight.

We look forward to seeing you here in Pittsburgh.

See you soon. (projector beeps)

(crying)

May I visit my patient, please?

Cameron, how you doing?

Um... my... lawyer

left me with some, uh, hope, I guess.

I have a diagnosis and a pattern of injuries

that have escalated over time.

I've sought treatment for a year,

and I am willing to undergo

an experimental surgery to correct the issue.

He said that's a lot to work with.

Well, we have one of the top neurosurgeons in the world

flying in from Busan, so

we can proceed as soon as you and he are ready.

I'm ready now.

Deaden the nerves.

Give me my life back.

Okay. I'll book the OR,

and Dr. Choi will be able to operate tomorrow.

Thank you, Dr. Watson,

for working with me, for standing behind me.

I'm... I'm very grateful.

Of course.

Uh...

Uh, Mrs. Cromartie. Uh...

Dr. Watson, this is the woman who raised me.

Oh. Oh, stop that, Cameron.

She's still looking after my dad's place.

(Cromartie chuckles)

What are you doing down here?

It's your father, Cameron.

He's... He didn't react well to the news about Damian.

It's his heart.

Is Dad okay?

He's been admitted to the ICU.

They say he's in critical condition.

Well, I-I wish him the best, of course.

Thank you. I'll, um...

I'll leave you two to talk about it.

Oh, Cameron, thanks for the meat.

Uh, Dr. Watson?

(panting)

You didn't eat any of it, did you?

Phippshmeat?

No. No, I didn't.

(sighs) Thank God.

Why, is it unsafe?

It is neither safe nor appetizing.

(sighs)

Cameron has started that company from scratch four times.

So, Cameron's a serial entrepreneur?

He would give $40 million to a lemonade stand.

Mr. Phipps finally cut him off

after Cameron's second attempt at Phippshmeats.

God only knows where the money came for the third and fourth.

But you didn't eat it.

Congrats on your native good sense.

DAMIAN: Cam, come on, Cam.

(struggling)

(door opens)

Guv.

You've been squirreled away up here for hours.

Did you know Cameron Phipps

filed for bankruptcy two years ago?

No, I did not.

But neither am I shocked.

The man did name his company Phippshmeat.

Yeah, but think about all the resources

that he's had at his disposal.

Right? He had th-the trust fund, his father's backing,

and even with all of that,

Cameron's been through four versions

of this lab-grown meat company. Right?

Before that, it was CBD gummies.

Now, throw two divorces onto that bonfire.

I can't audit the man, but I... I bet you he was broke.

Convenient, then, for Mr. Phipps to be cursed with an affliction

that killed the only other heir to his father's fortune.

Exactly. But why...

would he hit the crosswalk button

if he didn't want the bus to stop?

Look at this.

He never actually hit the button.

See?

Now look at this moment.

Look at Damian's expression

when he says his brother's name.

Damian's not reacting to the alien hand.

Damian's reacting to the look he sees in Cameron's eyes.

Now watch this.

See, he pauses when he grabs his brother's shirt

and shifts his gaze to the left.

Yeah, you think he's timing the shove.

I can't prove anything.

It's just a pause and a head tip,

but... I think this may have been intentional.

Cameron is using the fact

that he has alien hand syndrome to get rid of his brother.

And if I'm right,

this wasn't an accident.

It was murder.

And now you're saying it's not an alien hand?

Look, Cameron Phipps does have alien hand syndrome.

But it wasn't Cameron's hand

that pushed Damian in front of that bus.

It was Cameron.

Cameron disguised a murder within his existing condition.

Which is actually the best plan he's ever had.

And you think all this 'cause Cameron Phipps tilted his head?

Yes. See, look.

If you look closely...

he's obviously timing the bus.

You swore up and down yesterday that this was an accident.

I spent an hour at the district attorney's office

explaining that sometimes, according to you,

a man's hand can just...

push his brother in front of a bus.

Yes, and sometimes it can happen.

I just don't believe it happened here.

What about the jar of acid down his back?

Yeah, if I'm right, that was also Cameron.

He did it to make the hand look dangerous

to set up the push.

Mm-hmm.

Well, looks like you got yourself in a pickle.

Well, I wouldn't necessarily call it a pickle

but more like an evolving theory.

An evolving theory, to a good defense attorney,

is called "changing your story."

You think Cameron Phipps hired a bad defense attorney?

I'll tell the D.A.

you evolved.

You got a nice suit,

so I'll even review the tapes

that we collected at the scene last week.

Thank you. But if you're right...

if this was a murder,

I don't know how to say this nice, Doc.

But you got played.

INGRID: It's a ballsy plan.

Murder his brother in front of a few dozen witnesses,

then line up the best doctor in the city

to say it's not his fault, then profit?

STEPHENS: We have no actual evidence this was a murder.

We have a pause and a head tilt.

Either of which could have happened for dozens of reasons.

We need more evidence.

The police need more evidence.

Once this operation is finished,

so is our connection to this patient.

So you can live with knowing that Cameron Phipps

is about to get away with murder?

STEPHENS: You can live with the idea

that some deserving patient might not get our attention

(chuckling): because you have a bruised ego?

You got duped.

Okay, so far, I just got used. I didn't get duped

unless he gets away with it.

But the current theory on the table says

that our patient is guilty of murder.

The treatment is, of course, indictment and a trial.

Which is good news because we can make our case medically.

Now, the first point of weakness is the acid burn.

There's no way that Cameron dumped that jar

down his back without a trial run first.

You think he burned himself more than once?

Oh, I think he burned somebody else.

That Phipps money can be very convincing.

Ingrid and Stephens, check with our ER,

see if there's been an influx of acid burns.

And check the students at that new lab, too.

Sasha and Adam,

comb through Cameron's records.

See if there's been any types of conflict

with Cameron and his brother.

I'm gonna review his genetic tests.

I suspect that he has a "milkman gene."

What is the milkman gene?

It's a mutation to his DRD4 gene.

It's been linked with promiscuity

and other impulsive behaviors.

The failed businesses.

The divorces. It all adds up.

Does everybody understand the assignment?

Uh, this is perfect.

It works, but it can't work against me.

Yes, Dr. Choi did a remarkable job.

You know, Cameron, when you're ready...

there is something I'd like to talk to you about.

Of course, Doctor. What's on your mind?

Well, this intervention has been effective.

You won't have to suffer from alien hand syndrome anymore.

But I am curious, though...

...what happened between you and Damian?

Was it really your hand?

Of course.

Why would I want to hurt my own brother?

You have a mutation to your DRD4 gene.

It's called the "promiscuity gene."

And it's not just about sex.

But it does make you more likely to commit impulsive acts.

I live by my instincts. That's not a sickness.

And it certainly didn't lead me to kill my brother.

There is a treatment for that mutation.

We can help.

You won't have to live like this anymore,

and your lawyers, they can ask for reduced charges.

Reduced from what?

Oh, I-I guess you didn't hear.

D.A. isn't pursuing this.

If you're right about what happened to Damian...

then that would mean

that I finally did something right.

I came up with a plan

and I got some of the smartest people in the world

to buy into it...

...and it worked.

I won.

Me, Cameron Phipps. I won.

And all it cost me was a burn on my back

and a little bit of mobility in my left arm.

And your brother.

It also cost you your brother.

Right. Damian.

You've got murder inside you, Cameron.

I should have seen it.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

No one sees past my hand.

Thank you, Dr. Watson.

None of this would've been possible without you.

โ™ช โ™ช

This lab is absolutely incredible.

Seriously. I want to do an internship here.

I'll do more work than the robot.

His name's Clyde.

Well, we didn't invite you down here to, uh, show off the lab.

Your instructor said that you gave yourself

three chemical burns with hydrochloric acid

within the space of three weeks?

Yeah, well, I get stressed when finals are close.

I got clumsy...

Oh, it looks like they get more severe as they go.

Almost like you were testing out how much acid

you'd need for a second-degree burn.

And why would I do that?

STEPHENS: If someone paid you to do this, Vijay,

say someone picked up your student loans

in exchange for you giving yourself those burns,

that's not a crime.

But you should know

that you may be a part of a murder plan.

Whoa... I didn't kill anybody.

Nobody's saying that you did.

But if you admit that Cameron Phipps paid you

to test those burns on yourself,

you could help prove that he did.

INGRID: You tell us what we want to know,

we'll get in the door at the Holmes Clinic.

Yes, and I wind up tied up in court.

Not that I'm admitting

there's any kind of arrangement to begin with,

but if there is,

do you know how much a year of graduate school costs?

We are talking about a murderer walking away scot-free.

Yes, but I didn't do it.

(sighs) I'm sorry, guys, but I'm sticking with the deal I've got.

Your sense of civic duty is severely stunted.

You'll be a billionaire by the time you're 30.

30? So I look lazy to you?

(scoffs)

SHINWELL: How to weigh the value of one life over another?

The Fellows' DNA, in the hands of Moriarty,

can only be used for only one thing.

To take them off the field of play.

Fake samples it is, then.

Moriarty will never get his hands on the Fellows' DNA.

Not from the bastard Shinwell Johnson.

(elevator bell dings)

No, no, no, no, no, no.

If those boxes are packed with fake meat,

I'm afraid we're already full.

These are records from the Phipps family board meetings.

They even loaned me this gentleman to cart the stuff.

And you are?

Detective Lestrade.

Pittsburgh Police.

Oh. Uh, Shinwell Johnson.

Dr. Watson's aide and general dogsbody.

I get the impression

you've caused harm in your life, Shinwell Johnson.

I think that's just unbridled virility you can sense.

I don't think so.

The board of BCH Phipps has agreed to share these files,

in case they may be of assistance

in your amateur investigation.

You could find some evidence of conflict

between the sons. Oh, much obliged, ma'am.

Morning. Hi.

Excuse me,

are you part of the Phipps family?

Um, no, definitely not.

My name's Keith Cromartie.

My mom's been their housekeeper for 40 years.

Huh. WATSON: Detective Lestrade.

Did you decide to join in the investigation?

I brought you records. Make something of 'em,

don't make something of 'em.

Just don't say I didn't help.

Watson?

Would you happen to be a part of the Phipps family?

Uh, I get that a lot, but, uh, nah, no relation.

Mm-hmm.

You see it, too, don't you?

Oh, yes, widow's peak, flared eyebrow,

repaired cleft lip.

That guy may be the housekeeper's kid,

but I'd bet six months rent

he's also John Phipps' son.

Mm, yes, there's another heir

to the Phipps family fortune.

I can't talk about Keith's father,

even if I wanted to.

(sighs)

There are NDAs,

lawyers who would take everything I have.

WATSON: Miss, I understand, but I believe

Cameron Phipps killed his own brother.

Well, how would me telling the truth

about my son prove that? It wouldn't.

And I can't prove that he's guilty,

but I'm looking for a different kind of justice.

Cameron possesses something called a promiscuity gene.

It makes you prone to impulsive behaviors.

John Phipps

certainly was promiscuous.

He had systems in place.

A lawyer to deal with the nondisclosure agreements.

Do you have any idea how many?

Keith sent his DNA to one of those lineage sites.

Came back he had...

(scoffs) ...36 half-siblings.

The man had 36 kids out of wedlock?

Oceans of money,

promiscuity gene. John Phipps had

no checks on his behavior.

If your son could give us a look at that site,

that's not violating any type of nondisclosure agreement.

WATSON: There he is,

a vulture sitting vigil.

Hope you don't mind, I've brought my whole team.

UHOP is a teaching hospital.

Mm-hmm. Oh,

and you remember Detective Lestrade.

Front-row seat

for your number one fan.

I appreciate your devotion,

but I'm trying to spend

these last few sacred moments

with my father.

He has more time than you think.

Unless you have other plans for him.

WATSON: That would be Cameron's ultimate folly,

and it would be in vain.

Why, you ask? Behold.

Most people in their right mind might wonder,

who wouldn't be satisfied

with splitting $300 million with their brother?

But then, they haven't led your life.

According to bankruptcy records,

your multiple attempts at a truly impossible burger

add up to a cool $17 mil.

SASHA: Plus the previous debts you accrued from your

artisanal flavored ice cube venture?

Ahead of its time.

INGRID: Including your own affairs,

resulting in two ex-wives, two kids between them.

Alimony. Child support.

WATSON: Then, suddenly,

$150 million just is not quite enough, is it?

So, why not...

...double it?

This

brings us to the good news, bad news.

The good is, even though you lost your brother,

you don't have to mourn your father's death alone.

You have Keith, for one.

Mrs. Cromartie's son?

Your half brother.

Did you think the cleft lip was a coincidence?

Father said it was a common trait.

WATSON: Oh, with his help, even more so.

Keith discovered that he had 36

half-siblings, so many that he thought

that they all had the same sperm donor.

INGRID: And, given their own inherited

promiscuous mutation, they all have kids, too.

STEPHENS: 18 nieces

and nine nephews.

And counting.

WATSON: Direct descendants of Mr. Phipps.

A total of 68 pockets to fill with your inheritance.

STEPHENS: 136 pockets,

'cause pockets come in pairs.

That-That-That's my money.

I earned it.

WATSON: Oh, by all means, fight for it.

These relatives live in Europe.

Ports in your father's travels.

SASHA: And Keith already alerted them

about their potential inheritance.

European courts could force them into arbitration,

taking a 75% inheritance tax.

At best, your fortune will be tied up for years,

if not drained completely.

Oh, that's the bad news, by the way.

Any thoughts, questions,

regrets?

LESTRADE: Well,

I found that riveting.

Still can't bring him in,

but who can hate on poetic justice?

We'll leave you to grieve your losses, Mr. Phipps.

So, who are you meeting up with first?

STEPHENS: No idea, haven't even

gone through all the DMs yet.

ADAM: Let me see your phone.

Who knows your type better than I do?

Let's see.

It is insane that you have this many messages.

STEPHENS: Why is that surprising?

(book slams to floor) SASHA: Whoopsie-daisy.

(sighs)

Whoa, you all right?

You almost jumped a mile.

It's my overactive amygdala.

Well, hope you have a nice night.

(shuddering)

(gasping)

Wait!

(footsteps returning)

Can I talk to you?

I think we are friends.

I want to be.

I think I want to be,

even though you say things like, "whoopsie-daisy."

(chuckles) What you said about not letting

me hurt you, I would never hurt you on purpose.

I know that. I was just being dramatic.

I need to tell you that my father's gone.

He's never coming back.

He left when you were 16.

He didn't leave.

He's gone, he's never coming back.

I can personally guarantee that he's never coming back.

Do you understand?

He hurt me.

He hurt my sister.

He's the one who put her in a wheelchair.

Gigi? Oh, my God.

Gigi's the one you wrote the letter for.

I lied to you about that.

I've lied a lot.

I kept it a secret for 15 years.

That's why you lost the trial.

Someone found out before that.

Someone found out that...

Someone found out what I did.

And I think they're trying to blackmail me.

And I don't know what to do.

I always know what to do.

Oh, no. It's okay.

It's okay.

You're gonna be okay.

(crying)

I always know what to do.

(sobbing)

I don't know what to do.

It's okay.

How do you imagine this ends?

Eh?

Moriarty-- now, not that I know the man--

strikes me as one that finishes a plan

and then promptly cleans house.

Why leave loose ends lying about?

Two words, Shinwell:

Stay...

useful.

And if you should feel this usefulness

coming to an end?

Get creative.

Find another function.

("Lawmaker" by Darkside playing)

โ™ช He's wearing a doctor's coat โ™ช

โ™ช But in his hand is the ring of a lawmaker... โ™ช

WATSON: To what do I owe the honor,

Detective Lestrade?

21 years I been a murder police.

I could retire, full pension,

but something keeps me coming back.

Could be I'm looking for a surprise.

Could be that surprise is you.

I'm flattered. I said, "could be."

If you ever need

to contact the police,

I'd be honored to be your first phone call.

Same goes for you,

if you ever need a medical perspective.

Can I see you out?

Dr. Watson.

Hello, my name is Vijay Dewan.

I was in here yesterday.

Oh, the one with the burn scars.

Yes. About that,

I may or may not have made an arrangement for compensation,

but it seems my partner has some sudden cash flow issues.

He's trying to pay with shares

from some company called Phippshmeats.

What am I going to do with a warehouse

full of rotting fake meat?

Look, you're not gonna find

a more qualified chemist anywhere.

If you give me this internship here,

I'll tell you the whole story.

LESTRADE: Cameron Phipps paid you

to burn yourself with hydrochloric acid?

Wait right here, please. I'll take your statement

after we arrest Cameron Phipps.

Do you want to do the honors

of cuffing him, or should I?

I don't know how you did things overseas,

but here in Pittsburgh,

it's the cops that handle the handcuffing.

Okay, what about a citizen's arrest?

โ™ช He's wearing a doctor's coat โ™ช

โ™ช But in his hand is the ring of a lawmaker. โ™ช

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