Original subtitles

Come on, girls, come on. You know it makes sense. These are the finest

money can buy. Look at that. They're a pleasure to have the flu with these.

See that? They're lovely. They work. They're beautiful. Now, come on, take

off me. Because, listen, I've got to knock them out because I want to get

early.

Hello, are you Mr. Topper? Yeah, that's right. Not free for a pound, a pound and

a rail. I don't want time to sit. I want to talk to you about white mice.

White mice? Oh, that's a shame. It's a shame. You should have come yesterday. I

had six beauties yesterday, but I flogged them to a wally in a funny act.

that's exactly what I've come to see you about. My name's Linfolds Wood.

Oh, well, don't feel guilty about it, girl. Weren't you a fool, was he?

Actually, Lin happens to be my most favourite name.

That's what they all say.

My name's Bell.

It's all for Derry.

How much do you pay for that?

Stop trying to change the subject. No, I'm just saying I could have got it

cheaper for you.

Do you like curry? Look, I'm Lynne Holdwood from the BBC's Breakfast Time

programme, and I've come to see you because I've got a very serious

Complaint? Ah, no, sorry, you've got the wrong department. I don't handle

complaints. You've got to see my Director of Public Relations.

Oh, he's out at the moment. He's down the cab getting a bacon roll. He sure is

not stocking up on pork pies.

Mr Trotter, you are the man I want to see.

Now, yesterday afternoon, you sold these six white mice... To a Mr. Buttons.

Mr. Buttons? No, no, I told you I'd slog them to a Wally and the Funny Hat.

Mr. Buttons is the Wally and the Funny Hat.

Now, you assured Mr. Buttons that these white mice were magic and they'd turn

into horses.

Did I say that? You most certainly did.

Turn into horses?

Yes, and I'm here to tell you, Mr. Trotter, that surprise, surprise, these

mice did not turn into horses.

Really?

Now, that does surprise me, that.

Because I have yet to have a white mouse that didn't turn into a Norse. I mean,

you know Red Rum? You remember Red Rum?

Well, I knew him when he was White Rum, and he used to run around in one of them

little wheels.

I've never heard such rubbish.

Well, hang about. He ain't finished yet. Oh, you will be, Mr. Torter. You will

be when I finish with you. Now, you guaranteed Mr.

Buttons that these white mice would turn into horses at midnight.

Look, they've patently failed to do so. So what are you going to do about it?

Oh. Hang on, hang on.

Don't McCall, as the French would say.

That Wally Buttons never mentioned nothing about midnight, did he? What

difference does the time make anyway?

What difference does it make? It makes out of a difference.

Because these white mice are Korean.

Korean? Yes. So what?

So what?

You've got to take into consideration the international time difference.

These white mice are still set to Korean time, aren't they?

Hang on, hang on.

Thank you.

Look at that.

You keep your eye on them white lines. 3 .25 this afternoon.

Bob's your uncle.

We'll have more orders and less the bigger. All right? I've got to dash,

I've got to see a bloke about 11.

All right?

Bye -bye.