Original subtitles

Stick a pony in me pocket.

I'll fetch the suitcase from the van.

Cause if you want the best things but you don't ask questions, then brother,

your man.

Cause where it all comes from is a mystery.

It's like the changing of the seasons and the tides of the sea.

But here's the one who's driving me berserk.

Why do...

Yeah, I was watching that.

Only Fools and Horses is one of Britain's most loved shows on TV.

Lovely, doubly.

64 episodes were made between 1981 and 2003, and it's still watched and laughed

at by millions of us every week. What are you doing? I'm trying to get the

of Athens.

With every line written by just one man.

The success of Fools and Horses can be summed up with two words, and it's John

Sullivan. The story of Derek Trotter's life is the story of John Sullivan's

creative genius.

I don't think anybody really touches John for being able to make you laugh.

And being able to make you cry.

It's time next year.

I've been millionaires.

Celebrating the wonderful comedy world of John Sullivan.

we'll be getting the inside story on the Trotters from the horse's mouth.

I was nearly fired because of that scene.

I said to John, you can't use this.

Come on, get him off!

We've also recreated some of the fets, reunited cast members, and have talked

some of the show's most famous fans.

One of the incredible things about Fools and Horses is that you can grow up

watching it. I can't remember a time before I watched only Fools and Horses.

It's really, really, really the best.

Over the next hour, we're going to be looking into the Trotters' deal and

misdemeanours. What do you do, mug Mr T?

As well as showing you a real live sketch the Trotters performed in front

royal family.

See you, junkie!

So sit back and enjoy the definitive story of Only Fools and Horses, the show

which has given us some of the most memorable moments in British comedy.

Of course, that's just comedy. I mean, it doesn't really happen in real

life.

It's not supposed to happen in real life.

Grandad?

Still hasn't got it right.

Why do only fools and horses work? La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

Come on, girls, the first Spanish orange is just in from Seville.

They're fresh, then. Fresh? Fresh? They were playing castanets this morning, my

darlings.

Behind the dodgy deals and hokey hoodwinking in the show was invariably

Del Boy Trotter.

Authentic French nylon tights, all right? As worn by Sasha this Del's mum.

From selling trashy tat... Yeah, nothing but the best.

..to doomed dealings... Trotter definite choice.

..Del had an eye for turning a quick pound.

I think it's exuberance for a thing.

Whatever it was. The Inframax Deep Penetration Massager.

He would be able to sell it, cos this is it, this is it. This time next year,

we're going to be millionaires. I thought, you've got to follow me, come

me. Right, Natalie, guess what I've got here?

No, go on. Ta -da!

Deep! Ha -ha!

Wheeze!

LAUGHTER Well, he was so busy trying to make a success out of

duff, rubbishy gear.

I remember lots of them because I was the poor sap who had to go out and sell

them, more often than not. Now, all this equipment here is manufactured by the

one country that leads the world in alpine clothing, namely Fiji.

We used to have some wonderful lines, fire damage walks.

They are China cats that play how much is that doggy in the window.

Georgian digital alarm clocks.

I will tell anyone who keeps still long enough, John Sullivan was a genius.

Brought up in Ballam, next door neighbour of Peckham, writer John

early life was traditionally working class, something he shared with the man

was to become Del Boy.

John was working class from, say, South London, and I was brought up working

class in North London. There was an awful lot of things that John and I

recognised in each other.

There were things like if it fell off the back of a truck, you know, it was

okay. How would you like to buy a genuine mink coat for 50 quid?

No, no, it's not bent.

Now, the reason why it's so cheap is because it's Ethiopian mink.

Ethiopian. Yeah, I got this contact in Babylon.

Hookie gear.

You know, hookie was like, you know... Hooking it back. It's a bit hooky. No,

it's not quite straight. It's like, you know, bit bent really.

What's all this other stuff doing here anyway?

Oh, we collect things.

It's a really hard thing to do, criminality, because people are

attached to you about it. But the line you cross over and they say, well,

not funny.

I think John Sullivan knew where the line was.

Del Boyd's the victim of most of his own crimes, isn't he? He doesn't get away

with anything in the end. He's not smart enough, really.

That's the truth. How do police look at these things, Trig? No, they're not,

Del. And that's the truth.

Why are you hiding it under the table, then? Because you never know when

going to start looking for them, do you?

We went to a great deal of trouble not to overstep the mark.

Come on!

Girls, there's no business like crow business.

Regular market traders are known for their attention -grabbing stunts. Every

piece is bonely stoned.

And rapid rattle sales pattern.

Don't waste all your money on food and clothes when you can have flowers in the

garden. So Dell, selling hooky gear without a license, had to make sure he

draw a crowd.

John had very cleverly written this little ditty I used in the show to

the audience round.

I've come here to sell my wares. I haven't come to be laughed at, chaffed

generally mucked about.

These are guaranteed to cure hardcore, softcore, and pimples on the tongue.

Right, now, and this is none of your Japanese or your German rubbish.

No, sir, this is actually made in Albania.

When I first saw Only Fools and Horses coming on, the authenticity of it really

hit us. When I was growing up, ten minutes from Peckham, your front door

go, and somebody would say, um, is your dad in? Because we've got genes.

Tell him Val's got genes.

Because my dad could knock stuff like that out.

You know that overcoat you sold me, Dad? Yeah. It's got a great big lump in the

back. Of course, it's genuine camel hair, isn't it?

There was always a deal going on. I mean, even when I was a kid, I remember

used to work in a place called Morgan's Food Fair, and there was a sugar

shortage at one stage, so the butcher came to me and said, get me some sugar,

I'll give you some pork chops.

I said, fair enough.

And I was not very good at that. And I was so panicking, as I went to get the

sugar down, I dropped the bag, the whole bag of sugar, all of them smashed open

on the floor. I got in trouble for smashing the sugar anyway, and I never

those pork chops, which I think, looking back, was sort of a Del Boy moment.

I'd rather have shingles than these knives and fork.

At least you can get rid of shingles.

I've got many, come on. Come on, quick, quick.

For Del, the streets of South London are the shop floor.

The flat in Nelson Mandela House, the stockroom.

We've got 50 pirated versions of the Poseidon Adventure.

All on Betamax.

Every time an episode starts of Only Fools and Horses, you know the latest

because there are the boxes of whatever it is in the background in the living

room. Del, these dolls ain't called Barbie or Tindy.

These dolls are called Lusty Linda and Erotic Is Fair.

You can't have dolls with names like that.

You can if you go to the right shop.

Margie, help.

We had to doctor them slightly so they didn't look quite so rude.

I seem to remember sticking sticky tape over certain areas to make them look a

little bit more pre -watershed.

Rodney, look at this. These things, they sell for 60 quid each, don't they?

And these ones are self -inflating deluxe models for the more discerning

It's just casually dropped that it's self -inflating.

You know, and the line self -inflating is funny, and you laugh at it.

But because you've laughed at it, you don't realise you've taken in important

information that will pay off later on.

Let me just have a look at that magazine now. Just go on, hang on. Don't give me

that!

John used to be very clever at placing a line or two here, and then

what we call paying it off, like a couple of pages later.

funny sound i don't know what you're looking at me for

it's that great description that someone said of good writing uh it's a

combination of the surprising and the inevitable

The audience get the surprise of them doing it, but also the look of them.

So you get a sort of double whammy there.

Hurry up, then, it's all clear.

While the scene was filmed on location in Bristol, unfortunately for lusty

and erotic Estelle...

They never made it back to the BBC props department.

I got back to my hotel room to find seven inflatable sex toys super glued to

various parts of my hotel room with all the valves glued in so I couldn't

deflate them. I looked out at my hotel room, looked up and down the corridor, I

called the lift and I put two in the lift and I just left them.

Hold up, hold up.

Good evening, Gary. Good evening, Clayton.

Good evening, Rodney.

Good evening, Mr Cooper.

Good evening, ladies.

What evening?

So, I'm sorry to the hotel chain in Bristol.

It was me.

Back in the 80s. I'm so sorry about that. Blame John Sullivan. I just needed

some sleep.

Here we go.

Coming up after the break, we discover a lock -up full of Del's old hooky gear.

I can't believe it's the original, but you're going to tell me it is.

And a very special live performance from the Trotters in front of a very special

audience. Is that you, Chunky?

Welcome

back

to the story of only fools and horses.

Loads of bunts, Rodders, loads of bunts.

Dope bought and sold some dodgy gear over the years, which kept the BBC props

department busy.

But once filming is over, what happens to all the Russian camcorders, trotters,

crash turbines and dolls which sing Chinese lullabies?

Ending up in the storage unit in Bucks is one likely conclusion.

Chairman of the only Fools and Horses Appreciation Society, Perry Agajenov,

been collecting props and memorabilia from the show since 1987 and has the

largest collection of hooky gear in existence.

Hookery.

How long has it taken you to get all this stuff?

30 years in the making.

30 years in the making.

Look, it's all hooky gear, isn't it?

Quality objet d 'art, I prefer.

Pull the other one.

Oh, now, look.

I remember this.

This is one of my favourite props. I don't know why it was my favourite. It's

because it appeared in the foreground of so many shots. This is a real deal.

Yeah, that is the original cookie jar.

It's one of the few things that's been in every single episode since 81.

Sorry, go on, you were saying, what was he saying?

I vaguely remember this.

Some of the stuff was so funny.

The cat here that sang, how much is that doggy in the window?

This is North Korea's finest porcelain. And the punchline was, what do you want

for a fiver?

This doesn't work.

Typical devil boy, doesn't work.

I've often wondered how much it hurt when it went up your nose.

I had to trick that so that you pressed it and it went... Like that.

The things we've done for comedy, I tell you.

How many of these bottles have you got? I've got four.

And I've got two at home. You've got two. I thought you had one.

No, I've got two. You're in my little book because I have one. No, two. But I

could only have one if people want to purchase it.

Now, there's so much fond memories that you've got collected away here.

There's something that's just caught my eye.

And I can't believe it's the original.

But you're going to tell me it is.

And it's in a frying pan where I threw it.

Say that was life's lucky dip. What I would like to do, I'd love to just go...

Ta -da! There it is, look.

That is going to change our lives.

It won't, will it, eh?

There it is.

This is the one that made them a millionaire.

The Harrison Leather Watch. There was actually three in the show, and that's

one that was used in the auction rooms towards the end of the episode.

That was actually auctioned off early 2000s. I mean, back in the day, I was

only one really collecting all this stuff, and I was off there like a rocket

won it.

Dare I ask how much you paid for it?

It was quite reasonable at the time. I would have paid more, put it that way.

So that means, no, he's not going to tell us, is he?

What exactly did it go for?

Oh, um...

6 .2

million.

So that's just over 3 million each.

Well, we've had worse days.

All of this is, you know, part of Derek Trotter's style of living,

wasn't it?

Reject stuff, stuff that didn't work, stuff that wasn't any good, hooky gear.

He did go out and work hard. He'd do anything to earn a crust for the family.

But he wasn't just dealing in hooky gear.

Del had lots of fingers in lots of pies and was always dreaming up new schemes

to get rich quickly.

I mean, this is beautiful, isn't it, mate?

Bet you've held a few balls in here, my lady.

What?

In one of the most memorable episodes in British comedy, he convinces Lord and

Lady Ridgemere that the cleaning of their two priceless Louis XIV

couldn't be safer than in the hands of the Trotters.

Now, righto, Grandad, you pop upstairs and get the floorboards up. Now, you

what you're doing, don't you?

Don't you worry, Jill. Leave it to me. Right.

Nice. Craftsman.

The chandelier episode.

It's true. It's a true story.

Happened to John's father during the war.

Oi, Grandad.

Do you want a Gemini?

No. Have one before we leave.

LAUGHTER John was... talking to us about it in the bar, at the BBC bar,

where, you know, all sorts of ideas were floated around.

And we were laughing our heads off, and we said, you've got to write that as an

episode. And I'll never forget it. He just put his drink down and he went, I

don't think it's funny enough, is it? Is it funny enough?

And we went, duh, yes, it's funny enough.

All right, Grandad, we're ready.

You can start undoing it now.

I was nearly fired because of that scene.

He's coming, dear boy.

I'm a bit of a giggler when it comes to that sort of stuff.

So Ray Butt, our producer, he came up to me and he said, this chandelier costs

six grand.

We've only got one. We can only afford one.

If you laugh, that's the entire thing blown.

If we blow the thing, the BBC won't buy the series.

And that will be down to you.

If you laugh, I will fire you.

One more turn, Dale.

All right.

Now brace yourself, little man.

Now for

30

seconds, I'm just looking at David.

Except out of the corner of my eye, just down there, is Ray, the man who said, I

will fire you. I promise you, I will fire you.

going like this until he reached into his big parka

lots of pockets and he pulled out a handkerchief and this is right where

my eye and he stuffed it down his throat and so

i held it together for the longest 30 seconds of my life

and then the clapper went down and they said cut i got down the ladder and the

air went blue

It's the only time I've ever shouted at a producer, because I'm not stupid.

But he said, we couldn't... I had to threaten you with being fired, because

would have lost the series.

All right, little boy.

All right?

What do you mean, all right? Look at him!

He's a drunk, he is.

Could we drop it? We wasn't even holding it. We was working on that one.

Well, I wish you'd have said something. I was working on this one.

The joke that John didn't think was funny enough got his first BAFTA.

Coming up, we reunite David Jason and Tessa Peake -Jones in the Trotter

You don't marry him, do you? You live in sin.

And find out how John Sullivan first imagined Del Boy should look.

John, to be honest, didn't want David to do it.

This is none of your Taiwan junk. This was made in Formosa.

Hard to imagine anyone but Sir David Jason as the wheeling, dealing life

we all know as Dillboy Trotter.

But when John Sullivan created Dell, the physical image he envisaged was

completely different to that of David Jason.

So when I said to John, how did he view Dillboy, he said that he was a

typical market trader, a flat cap and a large beer belly.

John, to be honest, frankly didn't want David to do it. Various other names were

mooted. Jim Broadbent, Ayn Rattel, Ray Bart, our producer, talked him into it.

Del, how do you pronounce that fella's name on a telly? Sidney Poitier or

Potter? Personally, I pronounce it Aribella Fonte, but you just leave it

Once John Sullivan was convinced they'd found the right man for the role... The

next stage in the development of the character was what would he wear?

I took David out shopping, we went out shopping together, and found some of the

priceless items that have been immortalised on screen.

Items of clothing I remember getting,

these... A shirt called Gabicci shirts, Italian.

All right. A bit sporty.

Really a little bit leery.

No, don't you say nothing to them, you wally.

I mean, you can't trust the old Bill, can you?

Look at that time when they planted six gas cookers in my bedroom.

I've worked in costume for decades now, and the thing that always happens is

there's this rather magical moment where if you hit on the right...

Something will happen to the actor's body language and you can just feel that

the character is beginning to emerge.

Not bad.

I reckon we've done well there. He had this sheepskin jacket that was all made

up out of sort of patchwork squares.

I thought, perfect, perfect, perfect.

Good afternoon, madam. Can I be of any assistance?

Oh, that's awfully nice of you. Do you know anything about cars?

It just seemed to sum up.

His character.

I used to drive for the John Player special team.

On the Grand Prix circuit?

No, delivering fags round loose.

Del's penchant for sophisticated clobber was influenced by a real -life Cockney

character who David Jason worked for as an electrician in the early 60s. This

guy, he was as Cockney as all get -out. Derek Hockley was his name.

And he thought like that, didn't he? You know what I mean?

But he dressed like a lord.

That camel hair coat is exactly what my image of Derek Hockley was.

Morning, Del Boy. Bonjour, Joyce. Two half pints of your finest low

-carbohydrate beer. Thank you, thank you, John.

Do you want it in glasses? Yes, please, otherwise it dribbles through your

fingers. Del, he'd spend more money than he makes just to keep up his image.

Even when Raquel moved into Nelson Mandela House, she couldn't dampen Del's

inimitable style.

Oh, my God.

We've reunited Tessa Peake -Jones and Sir David Jathan where Raquel and Del

spent their most intimate moments.

This room.

was Daryl Boyer's taste.

Yeah. Well, you can sort of see that, can't you?

I mean, look, you've got false tiger skin, rags. It was typical

of the wonderful sense of...

of character then I used to I used to enjoy it so much it was such good fun

that was part of the joy yeah wasn't it and actually part of the trust of us as

a team was that we could make each other laugh everybody that we had in the team

not only were they just the best yeah but they were great yeah people yeah

from you of course you don't mean that David

Do you know, it says here, a bloke's supposed to make contact with his

side.

Did you know that geezers had feminine sides?

Well, I've read about it. Look, I wouldn't worry. I don't think it applies

you.

So was Raquel, was she the first person ever to be seen with Dull Boy in this

bedroom? Yes. Really? Oh, yes, cos she was special. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

He never made an honest woman of her. No, well, you don't, do you? I mean, you

don't marry him, do you? No.

You know, it's life, isn't it?

That's what we do down there in Peckham Way. You have a girlfriend.

You live in sin.

John Sullivan may not have made an honest woman out of

Raquel, but he was forever developing the characters and evolving the

storylines.

Acutely reflecting the times in which they were set.

John's writing was never stuck in Peckham, halfway up a tower block, with

characters just talking to each other. They all lived in the real world, and

real world was early Thatcher's Britain.

The early 80s, we were supposed to be aspirational, and I think John Sullivan

sent that up.

I think a lot of people took it very seriously, and we know now where it led.

You see, I wear a trendy trench coat, Gordon gecko braces, you wear a

lumberjacks coat and Gordon Bennett boots.

The creation of the yuppie syndrome in Britain, Del had to be one of those.

I'm out there on the yuppie tightrope, me.

Nerves on red alert.

I eat on the move, a mobile phone in one hand and a pot noodle in the other. I

tried to get you on a mobile phone. Yeah, that's why Del ended up with an

of noodles.

He loved his green raincoat and his final facts.

They were out there at the time, we saw them.

I made a killing today on olive oil.

Gord knows what Popeye will say when he gets home.

I've got one of these mobile phones, you know. I smoke cigars and I'm ahead of

the curve here.

Hello. I'm actually a little bit better than all you people. Well, of course,

there's no better than that, which made it very, very funny.

Look, Rodney, I want to be successful, but not for the money.

I want the power and the influence that success brings.

And what will you do with all this power and influence?

Spend it.

A native yuppie trend John Sullivan picked up on was people paying lots of

-earned dosh for something they could get for free.

What's this? Wait a minute. This is water, this, isn't it?

You want a bottle of fizzy water? Yeah, I'll have one. It's two pounds.

Sorry, it's what?

It's two pounds.

Is this what people are spending their money on nowadays?

No. It's one of the few remaining growth industries.

Is it?

Well, of course, Dell is going to get in on that. Of course he is.

People pay money.

for water because you've put it in a bottle.

Well, I can do that. I can open a tap. I can fill it up with water, sell it.

It's still water. And technically, he's 100 % right.

They're doing nothing illegal, are we? We are selling public water to the

public. Because this water used to be public, and then Maggie, she privatised

it, didn't she? It now belongs to a board of directors and a load of

They sell it to us.

We sell it on. All we're doing is repackaging it.

If people weren't buying water out of bottles, it would never have been as

or as clever.

I could have you under the Trade Descriptions Act. You call it Peckham

but it ain't from the spring.

Yeah, well, Sainsbury's, they sell runner beans, but they ain't been round

track three times, have they?

Just at the end.

He made a snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.

The London borough of Peckham is tonight without water after a little reservoir

was found to be contaminated by an unknown chemical.

Had Giles put as much energy into a proper job or trying to sell things that

weren't quite as dopey as he was selling them, he would have been an Alan Sugar.

I wouldn't mind betting this time next week I'll be in all the papers.

Coming up, a unique performance from Tony Angelino. No one told us he had an

impediment.

And a very rare live performance most fans won't have seen in over 30 years.

Slowly, slowly, no one will be any the wiser.

Welcome back to the story of only fools and horses.

Lovely jubbly.

Del's exuberance for dodgy deals would often see him talking his way into

situations most people would avoid.

I think you look rather dashy. I look like a human cannonball who's just

into a washing line.

And when he signs a contract for Raquel to sing at a nightclub, he thinks it's

goodbye Peckham, hello Hollywood.

Well, I made it worth her while.

Six hundred quid for one nice work ain't to be sneezed at.

She'll need a backing group.

Dale was now an agent and he was going to make Raquel a big star and then

they'd go to Hollywood and live the high life and, you know, that would be the

end of the series.

Well, I've never come in a real nightclub before.

Yes, you have. What about that poster you showed us when you were top of the

bill with Otis Redding at Talk of the Town London?

It was Laurie London at the talk of the town, ready.

Del is a manipulator and he also wants to exploit Raquel. What's amazing is

he thinks like Quicksilver. He's so quick.

It says here they're paying you 600 quid.

You nutty git.

So when he's about to be found out, whatever it is, he's got an answer for

before the person's even finished that sentence, questioning it.

I said that because... Because...

Because... I knew that if Raquel thought she was earning £600 for the show, that

would make her even more nervous than she is now.

So I decided to take the thing out of it, soften the edges, relieve the

pressure, by telling her it was only worth £300.

Thank you.

But I think he justifies it by thinking, well, this is a break for her. You

know, this gives her a chance on stage.

So it's not just being done to make money. Del did adore Raquel.

He really did. So I can sort of see it in his convoluted way of thinking that

perhaps, I think perhaps he really did believe it.

That means you'll do it for me, sweetheart.

But who will I be singing with? Don't you worry about that. I won't put you

wrong. You trust me. I won't say it was the endearing thing about the character,

but...

That's Del.

Lovely, jubbly.

Del needs a singing partner for Raquel, and the signature he wants on that

contract more than any other is that of the singing dustman, Tony Angelino.

Thanks so much.

You get a one for the audience.

Del, you'll never sign that contract.

He'll sign it, Rodney, don't you worry, he'll sign it.

Hey, Tony, Tony, there you are. Just a wonderful performance. Really was

wonderful. Thanks. Excuse me, would you mind, would you please?

Oh, thank you.

I thought it was fantastic.

I thought it was hilarious.

Not necessarily saying that John Sullivan is the Mozart of comedy

suppose he's probably the closest we've got.

Del seals the deal and Raquel and Tony are booked to sing at a birthday party

for a well -known gangster's mother.

I was alright for a while I could smile for

a while When they first started, everything's going on and they're

song, it's OK, meaning Raquel is OK.

She's bloody good, isn't she, Rodney, eh?

Then he starts to sing.

True

to

form, which is John Sullivan again, he

held back that very, very clever sting in the tail.

No one told us he had an impediment in his speech.

Tessa Pete Jones' performance was absolutely brilliant. That look in her

this sort of, I told you so sort of thing, and sort of biting her lip, even

during the performance.

Once we were actually filming it...

you do think, oh, my God, to have this chance to perform a song like this with

Philip, you know, knowing it's going to get this amazing payoff, is, you know, a

real gift as an actor. You know, how often do you get to do that? It's great.

Through to form, Derek

Trotter throws the song.

This time next year we'll be millionaires.

We have unearthed some precious footage from the archives and have for you a

rare live performance from 1986 when the Trotters were invited by the Palace to

come up west and do a bit of business in one of London's most famous theatres.

Good evening. Welcome to the 57 Royal Variety Performance.

Despite in the middle of filming their Christmas special, ironically called A

Royal Flush, the team felt unable to turn down a royal command. So John

quickly wrote a sketch the cast would rehearse at the end of each day's shoot.

And then we're told, well, it's going to be live outside broadcast as well with

the royal family.

So no pressure there.

Well, are you sure this is Dulaney's Club?

Of course it is, Rodney. I ain't been here for years, but I recognise it

anywhere.

Oh, yeah, I remember this. Now you've got something to talk about.

What's the variety? Do you remember this?

Here, Albert, this is yours. Take it, will you?

Produce of Malaysia.

How about that? Come on. For David and I, that was the scariest night ever.

check, though, and make sure this is the Dulaney's Club.

Of course it is. Look at the sign there, look.

Doesn't it say Dulaney, right?

He's got two GCs and he still can't read.

The letters missing from Drury Lane.

I mean, that's John Sullivan masterly, masterstroke, how to link it in and they

think they're delivering some... Just so clever, you know. Come on, Albert, in

you go.

That's it. And you, Rodney.

That's the first person you see. Ask for the manager, right? Chunky Lewis.

Comedy name.

Chunky, you there?

Where are you?

Rodney, mind that big thing, will you?

You plonker!

Everybody else had come out of a long -running show.

So whether they were dancers or singers or whatever, they were really rehearsed

and seen.

The great thing about it was that everybody knew Fools at that time, and I

think... It was allowed to have a bit of breathing space, wasn't it? We three

wallies were going on live with a sketch that we had never done before.

I had no idea where the last were, except with our instinct.

Chunky!

Chunky!

He's not here, Rodney. There's nobody here.

He's probably popped out for a doner kebab or something.

So we worked it out that if I went a bit wrong, you got to cover me, and if you

went... So we had to learn everybody's part so we all knew the whole thing back

to front, just in case.

This used to be a tiny little dive of a place, didn't it, Albert?

Yeah, just a little strip joint, that's all it was.

George, you can see what old Chunky's done to it, can't you, eh? I mean, he's

actually opened it up, knocked a few walls down.

Yeah, spent a bit of money on the old decor.

You see what I've been trying to say to you, Rodney? You see little acorns. I

mean, you've got to remember, Marks and Spencers started with a barrow, didn't

they? Henry Ford, he started in a barn.

Nissans, they started with a hut.

Then the palace get back to us and saying, we understand you want to make

contact with the royal party.

You can't.

No -one's allowed to make contact during a performance. At the bow, yes, of

course you can, but not before.

So we thought, well, that's a gag blown.

We can't not.

not look at them.

Anyway, we eventually got permission to do that. The whole thing is an excuse

for that moment where first Rodney spots who's in the raw box and then Del Boy

does. I mean, that's priceless.

Junkie!

Junkie, go off you belly, come on!

Who is sitting in the box to you?

Well, he's sitting in the box.

Is that you, Chunky?

Yes,

very brave.

The other box.

The Royal Variety Show, having done it myself, is one of the toughest gigs to

crack. But the way they kind of respected the royalty by awkwardly

walking backwards, that piece of physical comedy is very funny.

All right, just pick up the gear, pick up the gear, it's all right.

When you move out, move out.

Slowly, slowly, no -one will be any the wiser.

Very few could get away with addressing the box. They were in character.

It was respectful, very respectful, very dignified.

That's always the key.

I mean, we don't want the papers getting old at this, do we, eh?

We'd look like dipsticks, wouldn't we?

I don't mean that.

I mean, what's Her Majesty doing in Dulaney's Club?

We had to go back from the Theatre Royal, back to Salisbury, to start work

six o 'clock the next morning. So we didn't really get much of a chance to

anyone or see anyone or have a drink with anyone.

Bill, Rodney and Uncle Albert, onto a nice little errand.

So Dave and I, we were so relieved, we made the car stop at a

little midnight shop on the Brompton Road.

driving back, and we bought a bottle of whiskey.

And I'm here to tell you that we did it between London and Pillsbury.

Just out of sheer relief.

Only Fools and Horses is the nation's favourite comedy.

And the winner of the time of Britain's best sitcom is... Only Fools and Horses!

But, as Dell himself said of other success stories from little acorns...

shot series one and the entire nation had just gone, so what?

And then we started doing series two and the nation did much the same again.

Come on, let's call it a day.

Normal sitcoms were getting tens of millions and we weren't getting anything

like it.

We're off and running!

Never entered the job or the show or the series to win awards.

We all entered the show because it made us laugh when we read the script.

And because we all loved it, we all loved what we were doing, that started

shine through.

What a flunker! What a flunker! I don't think any of us ever realised that we

were going to become quite a success.

the national institution that we became.

Am I brilliant or am I brilliant? It's not why we did it, but we're all very

delighted that we did.

We've got them off -price crack ties for miles and miles of carpets. Our TV's

deep -breathed and David Bowie O .P.'s. Pool games, gold chains, what names? And

Edipus and Ziverfront detectives from a moose and leopard bush. Bush, bush,

bush, bush, bush, bush. No income tax, no VAT. No money back, no

guarantee.

Black or white, rich or brown.