Original subtitles

Who can turn the world on with her smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should know it.

With each glance and every little movement you show it. Love is all alone,

need to waste it. You can never tell, why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all

You're gonna make it after

all

Give me the phone. I'm sorry.

I really am, yeah.

But I'm sure this happens to you a lot. I mean, who would expect a congresswoman

to call a number that I would answer?

Here's Mary.

Mrs. Geddes?

Yes, oh, well, that was a friend of mine.

Yes, I thought the show went very well.

Well, thank you. That's very nice. The next time I get to Washington, I'd be

delighted to come to your place for dinner.

And listen...

or in Minneapolis, I would love you to come to my place for dinner.

Friday?

Uh, sure.

Yes, that would be fine.

Great. It's 119 North Weatherly.

How about 8 o 'clock?

Good. I'll look forward to it. Bye -bye.

Rhoda, Congresswoman Geddes is coming here for dinner Friday.

That's tomorrow.

Oh, Rhoda, what am I going to serve?

Who will I invite? I just have a day to get ready. Now, Mary, just a minute.

Before you go through all that, why don't the two of you just go out to a

restaurant? No, I can't take her to a restaurant.

Mary, you know about your parties.

What about my parties? You don't know about your parties?

Nothing,

nothing. Rhoda, come on. What about them? Mary, I thought you knew. Your

are disasters.

I mean, I thought you knew. How could you not know that? Yes, I know. Okay, I

know.

apartment. I set a nice table. I'm a pleasant, friendly sort of person. I

give great parties. All right, all right, Mary. Give the party. But just

small this time. I mean, just a small congenial group.

Now, how many people do you know that like each other?

Six. Six?

That's how many I can seat at my dining table. Then that's all you should have.

Oh, Rhoda, I hope this party turns out all right.

I mean, I hope I finally give a good party because, I mean, if I don't, I'm

gonna start being a...

over here, you know?

Pretty soon people won't invite me to their place because they'll be afraid

invite them back here and they won't want to come.

Before you know it, I'm going to end up a little old lady sitting alone in my

apartment tickling my cat.

Yes? Mr.

Grant, I was wondering if you're not doing anything tomorrow night if you'd

to come to my place for dinner.

Sure, I was wondering where I was going to eat.

going to be a small dinner party.

I can't make it.

Mr. Grant, when you thought it was just going to be dinner, you could make it.

Mary, I'm going to have to be frank with you.

Brutally frank.

Okay? Yes, of course.

You give rotten parties.

Mr. Grant, I really... It's not that I don't have a good time at your parties,

Mary. I've had some of the worst times in my life.

Agony. My wife and I broke up at one of your parties, you remember?

Not that I'm holding your party responsible, you understand, but it sure

help.

Well, I'm glad that you were able to be so very frank, Mr. Grant.

I'll tell you why I don't have a good time at your parties. I don't like

where they run out of scotch early and I have to drink a punch made out of white

wine. And Kool -Aid. No.

It was not Kool -Aid. That was Cassis. Well, whatever it was made my lips red.

It's not going to be that kind of a party. It's going to be just a small

party that I'm giving for Congressman Geddes. You remember we did that

show together?

And it'll be you, me, Murray, and his wife, and Rhoda. What about Ted?

Well, I'm not going to have room for Ted.

Okay. One point for you.

Just so depressing, thinking about going to another one of your...

Well, I, you know, I guess you wouldn't ask me

if you didn't need me, so I'll be there.

Good, I'm glad. Thank you, Mr. Grant. Oh, and Mary, this is your last shot.

Don't worry about it.

Okay, goodbye.

Well, I'm sorry, Mayor.

I can make it, but Marie's got to go to Chicago to visit her sister. Oh, well,

that's terrific.

Great. What?

No, no, Marie, I don't mean it's terrific that Marie can't make it. I

terrific because now I can invite a date.

So now all I have to worry about is what to serve.

Well, say, why don't you go see Sue Ann Nevins? She'll be a great help.

You know, the other day Marie made something. She saw Sue Ann prepare on

Happy Homemakers show. In fact, it was the exact same dinner that Nixon served

to French President Pompadour when he went to the White House. No kidding. How

was it? Great.

The best franks and beans I ever had.

And after baking in a 340 degree oven for 40 minutes, our strawberry swirl is

ready to serve. Let's take a look at our finished product. Shall we?

Now then.

Oh, surely that isn't how a strawberry swirl is.

Happy homemaker.

Now, don't you go away. We'll be right back after this commercial message.

All clear.

All right, who the hell is responding?

Mary!

I'm waiting for an answer.

Five seconds, Sue Ann.

Don't go away.

Stand by.

Cue Sue Ann.

Well, it seems as though we've come to the end of another show.

It was so nice of you to drop around for our little visit. Remember to come back

tomorrow when I'll have some handy hints on how to feel fresh fruit.

This is Sue Ann Nivens, your happy homemaker, saying,

God couldn't be everywhere, so he made mothers.

You're looking lovely. What can I do for you? Well, gee, it's not really

important, Sue Ann. I can come back another time.

Oh, nonsense. I'll be done chewing out the crew in two shakes of a man.

Oh, it's Cy Fisher, my producer. I'm sure you know Mary Richards. Hello.

And now, Cy, perhaps you could tell me who it was who screwed up my

strawberries.

I don't know, Sue Ann. You don't know? Well, we had better find out, hadn't we,

Cy? Yes, Sue Ann. Yes.

Now, Mary, what is it you want to see me about? Oh, it's really not important.

Oh, you come right over here into my living room and you tell me what it is I

can do for you. Well, it's just that I was planning... Guy, I want his name and

I want it fast. Is that clear?

Yes, ma 'am.

Go on, dear.

Well, I'm having a party on Friday.

A party? What kind of party?

Well, it's going to be a dinner party.

Oh, Mary, how sweet of you to ask me. I'd love to.

Oh, well...

Actually, Sue Ann... Mary, not only will I come, I will prepare the dinner.

I will see to it that your little dinner party will become a feast to remember.

But, Sue Ann... Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to rake someone's tail over

coals.

Well, how'd it go with Sue Ann?

Well, I lost a date and gained a chef.

Sue Ann is coming.

I didn't know you were that fond of Sue Ann. What made you invite her?

Well, Sue Ann is a great gourmet cook, and I can certainly use all the help I

can get. So let's see.

It'll be you, me, Rhoda, Congresswoman Geddes, who is up for re -election in a

couple of months. We ought to get a look at the polls, any other background

material you can find.

Hi, guys. What's up?

Nothing. Nothing.

Any big stories break for tonight? I'm afraid not, Ted.

Oh, well, you know what they say. No news is good news.

Well, say, Mayor, what time do you want George Jetme to beat you at dinner party

tomorrow night?

Jed, how did you know about the party?

It was a note on Lou's calendar.

Mary's dinner party, party night.

Ted, I don't think Lou will be happy if he knows that you're reading things on

his desk when he's not there.

Murray, I wouldn't do that.

He was there while I read it.

It's a little trick I've mastered, reading upside down.

Now, if you could only learn how to do it right side up.

more notice for a party, Mary, but I'm sure you've got a good reason. Excuse

I'm going to get those poles you wanted me to find. Well, Murray... So, what

time is the party, Mary?

Well, Ted, there's a little problem.

You see, it's a sit -down dinner party, and I've only got room for six people.

Oh, say, okay.

Listen, I understand.

Ted, I'm really glad you did. Of course, say no more. I'll just leave Georgette

at home.

I mean, so she misses her dinner a big deal. It's not as if she's going to go

hungry or anything.

Besides, I've done enough for her this week anyway, so what time is it? Well,

Ted, you see, I don't have room for you either.

Come again?

Ted, I've got this very small dining table. Well, you've seen the table, you

know, and there's only room for six people. Let me get this straight.

Are you saying I'm not invited? I'm sorry.

Oh, just let me understand this correctly.

Just to get it clear in my own mind.

If you could just try to understand.

Okay, I understand.

You only have room for six people, and I'm not invited. I don't need a house to

fall in on me.

I'm sorry, Ted.

So who are the six people, Mary?

Well, there's the guest of honor, Congresswoman Geddes. I can understand.

inviting the guest of honor ahead of me. Who else?

Well, and then there's Rhoda. I can understand. Inviting your best friend

me. Who else?

Mr. Grant.

That's all. I can understand that. He's your boss. You want to butter him up.

And then there's me.

Well, it's your apartment.

And Sue Ann Niven. Wait a minute. Cooking the dinner, Ted.

Oh, that makes sense. Okay, okay. I understand.

Wait a minute. That's five. Who's the sixth?

Murray.

You invited Murray over me?

Yeah. Murray?

My Murray? I did that, Terry, but I explained to you. Oh, please.

You don't owe me any explanations.

You know why?

Because I'm glad I wasn't invited to your party. Do you think I would even

to go to one of your parties? It is to laugh, Mary.

You know something, Mary? You don't know this.

But I've had lots of parties that you were never invited. Oh, yes, that's

Wonderful parties, and you were never invited.

Come -as -you -are parties, surprise parties, Hawaiian night parties, where

had to say aloha, you couldn't get in.

Parties that would have changed your life, Mary, and you weren't invited.

Parties where you would have fallen in love with that Mr. Right you've been so

desperately waiting for. Yes, Mary, he was at one of my parties, too.

One man in the world meant just for you, Mary, and you missed him.

A man that would have given you a home and... Marriage and children and comfort

in your old age was at one of my parties, Mary, and you weren't invited.

Well, did you tell Ted he wasn't invited?

I have to get home. Oh, of course.

Tonight's the big party for the Minneapolis Six.

However, did it slip my mind?

Please excuse me.

What is it, Mary?

What is it really? I mean, what is it? Is it because you resent my success? Is

that what it is? Oh, Ted, please, I'm trying to explain to you. I just have

for six people.

I'll bring my own dish.

How's that?

So it doesn't match yours. Oh, Ted, won't you try to understand? There'll be

other parties.

I'll give you $20.

I really have to be going.

Mary, please.

Before you go, I'd like to tell you a little story, okay?

Okay. Maybe you'll be able to profit by it.

I'll never forget it.

I was 15 years old at the time.

Sensitive, shy, quiet little lad.

Suffering the anguish of growing up.

And it was Christmas time and... A girl in my class was throwing a Christmas

party, and everyone was invited except me, Mary.

When I found out about it, I went over to see her, and I asked her, why?

And she said, because I hate your guts.

Well, that night at the party, I spent at home,

alone in my room, and I cried.

It was probably the worst night in my life, Mary.

Outside it was snowing and the carolers were singing.

It came upon me.

I felt then that in all the world I was the loneliest person that ever lived.

But then it came to me, Mary.

Why should I sit there feeling sorry for myself?

So I went down to my basement, went, got my junior chemistry set.

I made the biggest stink bomb you ever saw.

And Julia Childs has four cups of heavy cream.

Well, I am ready to serve the salad. Where is everybody?

Well, it's only 7 .45.

What do you mean, only 7 .45? I have timed by Veal Prince Orloff for 8 o

But, Sue Ann, I didn't tell anyone to get here until 8 o 'clock.

Well, Mary, dear, I'm sorry, but if we don't eat at 8 o 'clock, we might as

take my delicious dinner and flush it right down the toilet.

Steve, this is Mary Richard. Hello. Hello.

Rhoda, could I talk to you for just a moment? Yes, and I wanted to talk to you

too, Mary. I'll be within a minute, Steve.

Rhoda, why is he here?

Mary, listen. Steve and I work together at Hempel. And tonight, after four years

at the store, he gets fired.

So when he asked me to have dinner, I just couldn't say no. The salad is on

table. Hello, Rhoda, dear. Mary, we eat in four minutes.

Mary, he could sit up there at the little table.

Listen,

I want this party to be a good party. You know, I want that so badly. And

is not enough food for him. Sue Ann made it very clear to me. There are exactly

six portions of Field Prince Orloff. No more, no less.

He can have half of mine.

Three minutes, Mary. I know, Sue Ann, I know.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. A little tense.

Hi, I'm Steve Waltman. Lou Grant.

Maurice Lauder.

Oh, fine, fine. I just got fired.

I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, me too. Hi, Mary.

Come on in, Mr.

Grant. Hi, Mary.

Can I get you a drink?

Yeah, sure.

No drinks, Mary. We eat in two minutes.

Miss Richards, I want to thank you for inviting me to dinner.

off sitting in an oven too long?

No. What?

He dies.

Hello, I'm Margaret Getty. Steve Waldman. Oh, how do you do? I was just

It's time to see her.

servings of the veal.

It's the best party you ever gave.

I mean, it's nine o 'clock and everybody's still here.

We'll have our coffee and delicious in just a minute. I can't wait.

Good.

Ted, what a pleasant surprise.

Well, I was having a few drinks alone.

Waterfront bar.

Dangerous looking characters around. I said to myself, maybe Mary didn't have

time to think about dessert.

So, well, here it is.

Sherbert for six.

Ted, that was very thoughtful of you.

Would you like to come in? Oh, no, no, no. I don't want to come in or anything.

Hi, Lou.

Murray. Rhoda.

See, Lou, if you need a lift, I'll be waiting outside.

Don't hurry.

Ted, are you sure you don't want to come? Oh, no, no, no.

You're not going to close the door on my face, are you?

Hi, everybody. Sorry I'm late.

What's wrong with you anyway?

You got a screw loose somewhere?

You playing with a full deck up there, fella?

I'm not sure I get what you mean, Lou.

Well, what I mean is...

Why are you always doing stuff like showing up in places where you weren't

invited with a pint of sherbet?

Be fair, Lou. The sherbet's a new touch.

I don't know what makes me do this.

Maybe it's because I'm remembering a party of a long time ago.

Maybe it's because I'm remembering a 15 -year -old boy.

Shy, sensitive lad.

Suffering the anguish of... growing up. You see, it was Christmas time, and the

girl in my class was throwing a Christmas party, and everybody was

except me.

And when I found out about it, I went over to her and I asked, why?

And she said, because you're poor.

And you don't have nice clubs.

Did that actually happen? Of course my heart wrote it.

Well, I stayed home the night of the party.

Alone in my room.

And I cried.

Outside it was snowing and the carolers were singing.