Original subtitles

Who can turn the world on with her smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should know it.

With each glance and every little movement you show it. Love is all

need to waste it. You can never tell, why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all.

You're gonna make it after all.

Yeah, I'm really sorry you missed heading, everybody, Mr. Caldwell.

Well, that's all right. I'll come back tomorrow.

All right, fine. I'll tell you. Bye.

Hiya, Mayor.

Hi. Oh, some messages for you, Marie.

The dentist will see you Friday at 3.

Stuart Plumbing still hasn't received a check.

Marie called and would like you to bring home a jar of mint jelly.

She's making lamb.

It's hard to believe that somewhere in this great land of ours, somebody has a

message that says, Jill St. John called. Come on up to Skiing's Wonderland.

Mentioning his father?

Can't say that I do. Why?

His father called three times today.

Any messages?

Oh, no, but Mr.

Caldwell was here to see you and Ted. He said he'd come back tomorrow.

Caldwell? Oh, yeah, he's one of the new owners of the station.

You mean we've been sold?

Yeah, last week.

Monroe sold us for $5 million.

$5 million? Wow, that's a lot of money. Not to Monroe. He paid $7 million.

in the pocket slice.

No, thanks.

Hey, Mary, how about some pizza? Only 40 cents a slice.

Oh, no thanks, Ted. I can give you one for 35 cents a slice. No, not until they

make pizza out of Milba toast and cottage cheese. Oh, hi, Lou. Want some

pizza? Oh, thanks, Ted. That's very nice of you.

I don't know any Mr. Father.

No, no, Ted, not Mr. Father. Your father. He called three times from Gary,

Indiana, said he was going to be in town tomorrow and would come and see you.

What happened to Ted?

I don't know. I just mentioned that his father was coming to see him and he

really went into shock.

Oh, good.

For a minute there, I thought there was something wrong with the pizza.

Ted, get the message that his father called and then he goes into shock.

You! Well, it was the first time in Ted's life that he'd heard from his

He ran off when Ted was about two years old, and nobody knows why.

Two years old. Must have been when Ted started to talk.

Anyway, he just wasn't himself. I mean, you should have seen the way he did the

news tonight. How?

Perfectly.

So when is the big reunion going to take place? Well, his father's coming to the

station tomorrow.

to live with all these years? I mean, never knowing who your father really is?

You know, Mary, I often wondered if my mother is really my mother.

I mean, I think I was born a gypsy.

And as an infant was kidnapped by a roving band of Jewish housewives.

I'll see you later. Bye -bye.

Hi. Rhoda?

Mary? Hi. I've got to talk to you.

Sure.

You're looking good. Thank you. What a pretty cameo. Is that new?

I hope not. I bought it at an antique store.

Bye -bye. Bye -bye.

It's your jet. It's been so long.

You look different.

What'd you do? Something with your hair.

Did you do something different to your hair? Are we going to talk about her all

night?

Mary, what am I going to do about my father? Please, you've got to help me.

Please.

Well, Ted, I... Will you hold your thought a sec? I've got to call my

service.

He was so upset at dinner tonight, we drove off with the tray still stuck to

car door.

Hello?

This is Ted Baxter. I just left 876 -4321. I'm now at 555 -2312.

Thank you.

Mary, there's something I want you to do for me.

I want you to cover for me with Lou when I don't come to work tomorrow.

Why aren't you coming to work tomorrow?

Because he doesn't want to see his father.

Isn't that awful?

A person's very own father.

Why should I see him?

My own mother doesn't want to see him. She knows him a lot better than I do.

Boy, when I think of those nights as a little boy, I used to walk past her

bedroom and hear those cries of sadness.

At least I think they were cries of sadness.

Well, I think when he comes there tomorrow, you should be there to meet

Don't you, Mary?

Well, yeah, I guess I do.

Where was my father when I needed him?

Where was he when I was fighting for my life in Albany, New York, playing Uncle

Fuzzy in that Saturday morning kid show?

Hi there, buckaroos.

Where was he then?

Where was he when I was doing those band remotes in Altoona?

And now, from high atop the Hotel Adams in downtown Altoona, it's the rippling

rhythm of Ray Romero.

Where was he then?

Where was he when I was playing that crummy classical music station in

Bennington, Vermont?

And now, the third movement of the first piano concerto by Sergei Rachmaninoff.

Where was he then?

I just don't want to see him, Mary. You've got to cover for me.

But, Ted, I don't think you should ask Mary to lie for you. No, neither do I.

Ted, look, I can understand how you feel, but if you're not coming tomorrow,

you're going to just have to tell it to Mr. Grant.

Well, thank you very much, Miss High and Mighty Won't Lie for a Buddy.

This is Ted Baxter. I'm now leaving 555 -2312. I'll never be at this number

again.

Mr. Grant, uh... Mr. Grant, you know, Mr.

Caldwell called, and he's on his way up.

Yeah?

But, you know, I thought that since he is the new owner of the station, you

might want to get ready.

Okay, I'm ready.

And Ted wants to see you.

Well, about...

me this note. It says that he lost his voice, and Mr.

Grant, Ted's father is coming to the station today, and Ted wants to take the

day off so he won't have to see him. Lost his voice, huh?

Okay, Mary, I'll handle it.

Tell Harpo to come on in.

Hi Ted.

What?

Oh, gee, Ted, that's too bad. What are you going to do about it?

you know what I think you ought to do? Take the day off and go see a doctor.

Mary, Ted's not going to be able to do the show tonight. Tell Gordy he'll have

to replace him.

Right. And tell Gordy he'll be interviewing the Winter Carnival Snow

Oh, what a shame. And that's Ted's favorite interview, too, isn't it?

And also make a note to Doc Ted for a day's pay.

back, the voice of Ted Baxter is back.

He can talk again.

Oh, well, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.

All right, Ted, suppose you tell me what this is all about?

Lou, I don't want to see my father. Please, let me go home.

Oh, Ted, come on. It's probably going to be a lot easier than you think. What if

he doesn't like me? Well, why shouldn't he like you? He doesn't know you.

Ted, you have to talk to him. He's your own flesh and blood.

I know that.

Ted, if it weren't for him, you wouldn't be here.

Ted. I know. How will your father feel if we tell him that you don't want to

him?

You're right. You're right.

Good morning.

Aren't you Ted Baxter?

Here I am.

I'm looking for Ted Baxter. I'm his father.

Are you sure?

Sorry, I'm hugging you.

Well, it was a very nice tour.

This is my dressing room, where it all happens. Very nice.

This is where I come to reflect and contemplate. Away from the outside

of the world.

You might, uh... Say, this is my Camp David.

Oh, yes, I know them all, the great and the near great.

My favorite newscaster from Dwight Eisenhower. Good old Ike.

Funny he spelled Dwight with two Ts.

Oh, I never noticed that before.

Well, that makes it all the more valuable, doesn't it?

Oh, I'm glad to see you're doing so well.

Well, if you call it being lost and looked up to and admired by millions of

people doing well, I guess you could say that.

Well, I'm glad.

Of course, you don't just wake up one day and find that you're famous.

It all started for me in a 5 ,000 -watt radio station in Fresno, California.

Then three years in Albany.

Spilling your guts out as Uncle Fuzzy to a bunch of non -nothing kids.

Who had fathers.

It was hard.

Long.

Lonely.

Lonely. road to the top, I can tell you that.

I can imagine.

How long are you going to stay in our fair city?

Oh, well, I can't stay away from my business too long, you know.

What business are you in?

Laundromats.

A chain?

No, just one.

Eight washers and six dryers.

On a good day, I guess I can fluff and fold 1 ,200 pounds of wash.

Didn't know that.

Oh, yeah.

Funny, isn't it?

You and me sitting here talking father to son.

Yeah, it's funny.

You got a car?

Yes, why?

Well, you know you should never pick up hitchhikers, don't you?

I never pick up hitchhikers. Good.

Do you play cards?

Yes. Well, you know you should never get into a card game with strangers. Yes, I

know that.

I suppose somebody's already told you all about sex.

Who told you, your mother?

No, I had to pick it up in the streets.

Oh, I'm glad.

I'd hate to have you learn anything like that from your mother.

Excuse me, can I ask you a question?

Of course.

I know I asked you this before, but are you sure you're my father?

I mean, nothing personal, mind you.

I'm sure.

Well, I'd like to see some proof.

I mean, any Tom, Dick, or Harry could come off the streets and say they're my

father, you know.

There we are.

There.

There's your mother, and that's me, holding you when you were only six

old. You look so different.

You look almost like me.

Well, that was a long time ago.

What happened to you? How'd you end up like this? Were you sick or something?

Well, you must have done something to make yourself look like this. What, do

drink a lot?

I guess it's just old age catching up with me.

You really, really are my father.

Yes, Ted.

I'm your father.

I don't believe it.

Come in.

Ted, here's your coffee for tonight.

Oh, thanks, Ted. Oh, hello. I don't think we've met.

Oh, right.

This is Ted's father. Of course.

I would have known you anyway.

Mary? Yeah, come on in.

Mary, I'm going crazy.

What's the matter? You've got to save me. You cannot imagine what's going on

there. It's unbelievable.

The most boring evening I've ever had to go through in my life.

Well, why don't you tell him you don't feel well? Maybe he'll go home. Tell

I'm alone.

Excuse me.

Mary, ever wonder what you look like, blonde?

Forget it.

Well, maybe I'll go upstairs and read my old love letters.

That ought to kill a minute and 15 seconds.

Mary, my friend, I hate to say it, but I'm bored down here, too.

Well, Rhoda, I'm trying to make this as fascinating for you as possible, but I'm

afraid it's the only way I know to... set a table.

Am I bored?

Do you know how bored I am? How bored are you, Rhoda? I'm not so bored. I am

going upstairs to call my mother and chat a little. That's how bored I am.

Mary?

Mary,

Mary. Wait, this may be better than calling my mother.

Mary, you can't believe what I've just gone through.

Tell him, Georgia.

A lot.

Mary, that was the most painful night I've ever spent in my whole life.

Hello? This is Ted Baxter. I'm now at 555 -2312.

Ted, come on. Come on down.

That's got to be a very emotional experience, seeing your father after 40

Mary, do you realize that someday I'm going to look like that man?

I'm going to wake up one day.

And I'm going to be a bald, little old man with a laundromat.

Ted, come on. Not all sons take after their fathers. That's right.

And my father's dull, Mary.

He's dull.

Then again, on the other hand... My old father, Mary, all he did was talk about

his laundromat.

Mary, Ted Baxter's father owns a laundromat.

laundromat. Of course not. And besides, nobody will know unless he calls it Ted

Baxter's father's laundromat.

All my life, I thought my father ran away and become brilliant and famous.

I always thought of him as being Eric Severide.

Right. And so your father isn't like Eric Severide.

Not like Eric Severide. I was convinced he was Eric Severide.

answered any of your letters.

Boy, he's the laugh on me. Look what I got.

All right, so your father isn't everything you wanted him to be. Still,

your father.

People who aren't Eric Severi can be very nice, too.

Right.

Come on, give the man a chance. He might turn out to be one terrific guy.

Terrific guy?

Terrific guy?

I haven't even told you the worst part yet.

He wanted me to lend him $2 ,000. That's why he came here.

He doesn't care about me. All he wants me to do is lend him $2 ,000.

Do you realize how much money that is, Mary?

$2 ,100 bills.

Man, sorry about the money.

But he doesn't have to worry about it because you won't be bothering him

Never again.

You saw him through the news tonight.

You thought he was terrific.

You're very proud of him and thankful for having him for a son.

Yes, I'll give him that message.

And goodbye to you too, sir.

Oh, go down there and give him a lift to the bus.

Dad, maybe I'll extemporize your uncle.

Surprise.

Oh, I didn't expect to see you before I left.

What kind of a son would I be if I didn't say goodbye?

to this afternoon.

I'm sorry I lost my temper. Oh, no, I understand.

I had no right to ask you for that money. Yes, you did. No, I didn't.

Well, no, you didn't.

It's enough that we finally got together, right?

Right.

So you saw my show tonight, huh?

Oh, yeah. Do you know I never enjoyed the news more?

What part did you like the best?

I'd say the crisis in the Middle East.

Yeah, that was my... favorite, too.

Do you like the way I raise my eyebrow in that Supreme Court decision?

Nice touch.

Usually I raise my left eyebrow, but once in a while I like to mix it up.

I think Walter Cronkite may be hearing footsteps.

You just say that because you're my father. No, no, I mean it. Really? Oh,

really.

Do you like the way I signed off? You know, the way I closed the show.

Oh, I miss the end. You see...

In here, the TV is 50 cents for a half an hour, and I ran out of quarters just

before the end of the show.

I've all the parts to miss.

Well, maybe, maybe you'd do it for me now.

If you're not too tired, I mean.

You really want to hear it?

Please.

I'll sit here and pretend like you're on the TV, all right?

Okay.

You ready?

Ready.

Ted Baxter saying good night and good news.

What do you think?

I like that even better than the crisis in the Middle East. Thank you.

Listen, I'd better be going, you know.

It was nice meeting you.

It was nice meeting you.

Well, be safe.

Oh, and Ted, if you ever have a piece of bread stuck in the toaster, don't try

to get it out with a fork. You might electrocute you.

I'll remember.

And when you're in a car, don't keep your arm out of the window.

A truck could come by and rip it right off.

I understand.

Well... Be seen.

Oh, wait.

I was thinking about what you asked me for this afternoon. You know, the... The

money. Right.

The... The $2 ,000.

I want to give it... Pardon me, what?

I want to give it to you.

The whole $2 ,000?

Well, a thousand now and... No, no, no, no. The whole $2 ,000.

No, I can't. No, don't try to talk me out of it. I'm going to write you a

Yeah, I'm taking out my checkbook.

I'm taking out my pen. I'm writing the date.

There's the date.

Now I'm writing your name. Your name, Robert Baxter.

One T in Robert.

Well? The amount.

$2 ,000.

And now my signature.

Could I?

See that photo again of one of you holding these?

Better get moving, huh?

Goodbye, son.

Goodbye, Dad.

Take care of yourself, Teddy. You too.

Oh, wait, I'll give you a lift to the bus.

You're a good son.

They don't come any better.

Hi, guys.

Hello, hello, everybody.

Hi. Anybody for lunch? No, thanks, Ted. I don't want to buy any pizza today.

Mary, you want to have lunch with us? You always give our table so much class.

Well, thank you, Georgia, but I can't. I've got much too much work to do.

Oh, Mary, would you put some stamps on this?

I'm sending it to my father.

Sure. Sure, Ted. Be glad to. Thank you.

Well, goodbye, goodbye, everybody.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

That's really nice of Ted. You know, he sent a package just like this last week

to his father. Well, I don't know if it's so nice.

I bet anything he's making his father work off that $2 ,000.

Oh, Murray, come on. Oh, yeah?

Well, when did you last see a package marked, airmail special, no starch?