Original subtitles

Who can turn the world on with her smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should know it.

With each glance and every little movement you show it, love is all

need to waste it. You can never tell, why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all.

You're gonna make it after all.

Mayor, I really appreciate what you're doing for me tonight.

You don't know how much I appreciate what you're doing. I know how much you

appreciate it. You've been telling me for the last 20 minutes.

Well, it isn't everybody who would double date with her friend knowing

going to have a rotten time.

Well, I didn't know that, Rhoda.

Oh, yeah, you are.

How can you be so sure that I'm going to have a rotten time? Because your date

was described to me as being as much fun as my date.

By my date.

Because when he called me up, he used a Donald Duck voice on the telephone.

I thought he was another guy.

I didn't know it was him until after I'd accepted. Wait, wait, wait, wait. You

know two grown men who use Donald Duck voices on the phone? Yeah.

The other one's a judge.

Maybe it won't be so bad.

Tonight will be the worst.

Or as our dates would say... You know, I think

I could be coming down with something. Just a little, kind of a... Too late.

ducks are here.

Hi!

Hey, I think I'm going to sneeze.

Now I think I'll put it back in my pocket.

Pocket.

Hey, is my tie all right?

Well, is it somebody going to ask me in?

That check suit, you spoiled the illusion.

Did you ever have a blind date and make a funnier entrance?

Oh, gosh, no.

Well, girls, now that we've had a good laugh, I'd like you to meet my friend,

Warren Sturges.

This is Rhoda. No, no, don't tell me, don't tell me. Well, you must be Rhoda,

and you must be, uh, uh, married.

his love at first sight?

No. Then would you believe liking a lot at first sight?

No. Then would you believe mild infatuation?

Does he do a great Don Adams or what, huh?

Would you believe anyone is still doing? Would you believe?

No, no.

The Jolly Green Giant's

Coffee sounds great. I thought it.

just aren't necessary.

Warren. Mary, I'm going to be honest with you. Something happened tonight. I

think I fell a little bit in love.

Warren, you don't even know me. Mary, I know you.

No, you don't.

I know that you don't want to rush into this, and I respect you for that. And I

understand. But someday, that one magic someday, you're going to love me. Oh,

Mary, Mary, Mary.

I just want you to know that I'm not going to sleep with you tonight.

lunch in the park i got a picnic basket down in the car cold chicken and white

wine then when we're finished with that i'm gonna take you on a canoe ride on

the lake and while i play my harmonica you just dangle your little fingers in

the water

Listen, it's just that you picked a kind of a bad date.

So, Warren, thank you very much for breakfast and everything else.

Hey, Mary.

Mary, you see this? Yeah. You see what this is?

Yeah, that's my silk calendar.

No, no, no.

On that date, you're going to be in love with me. Now, don't ask me how I know

that, but I know that. I wasn't going to ask you. And you're going to be so

thankful. You're going to say, thank you, Warren, for being so persistent

because I didn't realize what was happening to us, but you realized it,

just didn't know you were going to say that.

don't think I'm even going to remember it.

on your harmonica?

Was Warren. He just left.

Oh, things really worked out good last night. Oh, Rhoda, you've got to help me

get rid of him. I know, kid, I will. Honest, anything you ask me, name it.

I want you to call Lowell and tell him to call off his friend.

Anything but that.

Why? Oh, Mary, I just figured out a way to break up with Lowell. I did it. And

now you want me to call him now? Wait, wait, wait, wait.

How did you break up with Lowell?

Told him I was dying.

I don't think that would work with Warren. He'd want to come with me.

Rhoda, please, you owe me.

All right, I'll call.

I guess I really do owe you.

Well, maybe I'll be lucky and he won't be home.

But she can't stand Warren, so you please tell him to bug off.

Hello, Mary.

Graham? Hello, Murray.

You're in pretty good spirits for a man who just came from the dentist.

Well, I would have been back earlier, but I stopped to watch some guys putting

up a billboard across the street.

A couple of messages for you. Oh, yeah? There's a message for you, too.

What? Well, on that billboard right across the street.

loves Mary Richard.

Somebody kept telling me you were at a meeting, so I brought him up here. Well,

what a surprise.

Please, this guy had a lot of laughs there.

Hey, Warren, Warren, let's show him that handshake you taught me.

Two milkmen shaking hands.

And now, the other one. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let me try this one with

Mary. Well, no, really, Warren, I... Two lumberjacks shaking hands.

lunch with me. No, I can't. And, Warren, I would like to know... I got

reservations at a French restaurant. Really? I just... I have so much work to

do. Don't worry about it, man.

I'll fix it up for you with Lou.

Warren, I am not going to have lunch with you.

Mary, don't you think you're overplaying this hard -to -get routine?

Maybe if you keep it up, you'll have to lose this guy.

No, no, no, Ted. No chance of that. Any girl worth having is a girl worth

fighting for, and that's why I brought...

for it. That really is. It's really cute.

Now, would you please take them off?

I can't. I don't have the key.

Where's the key? The maitre d' at the French restaurant has.

Now you have to go to lunch with me.

Yeah, I guess I do. Isn't it funny how that worked out?

I'll walk you past our billboard.

I'll say, do you need a coat? No, I don't. I need a key.

Did I just see Murray being taken out of here in hand?

They must be rounding up Protestants.

Mary, he got the rest of the file on... Where's Mary? She isn't back yet.

It's almost 2 .30. She's been gone two and a half hours.

Oh, maybe Warren finally won her over.

You know, I hounded a girl like that once. Yeah? In junior high school.

Every day for a month, I sent her a list that said, check one.

A, you are madly in love with me.

B, you are crazy about me.

C, you like me a lot.

Which one did she check?

D, none of the above.

It's the same way with Edie and me.

She didn't want to go out with me, but I pressed her.

You know how I finally convinced her to go out with me?

Huh? I'll do her.

Poetry. You wrote poetry?

One time in my life, it was my job.

What was your job?

I was a poet.

on the Detroit Free Press was my first job.

I wrote Thoughts in Rhyme by Lois Hammersmith.

Lois Hammersmith?

Well, Lois started a column, and she had kind of a following.

When she died, they just left her name on it.

Yeah, remember him?

Well, there was one I wrote to Edie when we were dating.

It was called Autumn Wood.

How'd it go?

Well, you don't want to hear some dumb poem I wrote 25 years ago. Sure we

Yeah, come on, Lois. Just us guys here.

Autumn wood.

The light from the ever waning moon illuminates less and less.

And to the autumn wood doth bring a glow of enchanted loveliness.

I walk.

I look.

And in this dream, you alone, my love, are seen.

That doesn't even rhyme, dream scene.

I think it was very moving, Lou.

I didn't know you had it in you.

Maybe it does rhyme. Maybe I didn't hear it right.

Of course, I could never have written it if my name hadn't been Lois

Hammersmith. You know, it reminds me of a poem I once made up.

Let's see, how's it go?

I once was a hermit.

I just want you to know that I think you and Warren make a beautiful couple.

Oh, Ted, go away.

Go away, go away? You say go away?

No associate producer tells an anchorman to go away.

Go away. But when a producer says it, that's a whole different story.

The people were looking at us. And through the whole thing, Warren kept

over and over again, Someday, Mary, you and I are going to look back at this and

laugh.

There's something we can do.

Oh. Mary, you want me to hit him for you or something?

It's my fault.

I've just been afraid to hurt his feelings.

Listen, I don't want to burden you guys with my problems. Just excuse me for a

minute. I'm going to go to the end, you know. Yeah, go.

Anyway, I think... I finally got through to him. I really don't think I'll be

hearing from Warren again.

Miss Richards?

You have won the Kentucky Derby of...

He's not out there, ma 'am.

Somewhere. He is out there, Rhoda. You can't always see him, but he is out

there. He's out there waiting. You know what it's like knowing he's out there

waiting and planning and plotting and conniving some new way to win my heart.

Ma 'am, ma 'am, listen to me. Why don't I make you a nice hot cup of cocoa?

Would you like that?

Thank you. That would be very nice.

I'm going to put some marshmallow in it, huh?

Hey, coming right up, kid.

Oh, Rhoda, he's done something humiliating to me every day for the last

and today... What?

Nothing.

I don't know what the next thing is going to be, Rhoda, but I do know it's

to be a wowser.

What is it he did yesterday? Yesterday, he went through the neighborhood with

that bullhorn blaring that message.

Because you're afraid to make a scene.

This guy knows it and he's using it. You with your little white gloves and your

perfect manners. Well, what would you do?

I'd water bomb him.

Water never fails, ma 'am. In a restaurant, if I get grabbed under the

glass of water in the old lap.

Let's not talk about Warman Sturgis anymore.

We'll talk about something else, right?

Let's talk about something else. You want to know what I think? I think the

worst is over.

I think the reason you haven't heard from Warman today is because he can't

of anything else to do to you. That's what I think.

You've had a rough week, but you made it through.

Well, I've been calling you at home for a week now. You never seem to be there.

Well, it's been a kind of a hectic week.

Anyway, I'm glad I finally reached you. Oh, I am too, Peter.

It's so nice to have a normal first date.

What do you mean normal?

Well, pour me some more wine and maybe I can explain it.

You better pour a little more than that. It's sort of a long story.

Yeah, fellas, I'm the guy that hired you. Come on over here. Oh, no.

No, no, Warren, this isn't a surprise. You planned this. Oh, yeah, but this...

And you think that you're going to get away with this because I'm afraid to

a scene.

No, no.

No.

up now, can't you?

Call you again real soon.

Peter, I did it. Oh, hey, what was written on the cake before she messed it

It said, will you marry me?

Will I marry you? Oh, of course I'll marry you.

Hey, hey, let's get out of this place. Sure, sure, sure. Hey, please follow me.

Why did you have to ruin my pretty cake?

Will there be anything else?