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Who can turn the world on with her smile?
Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?
Well, it's you, girl, and you should know it.
With each glance and every little movement you show it. Love is all alone,
need to waste it. You can never tell, why don't you take it?
You're gonna make it after all.
You're gonna make it after all.
And the next day, I couldn't remember whether he'd ask me out for Friday or
Saturday. So I just called him back and I said, hey, Paul, I can't remember. He
said he couldn't remember either.
So we're going out Friday and Saturday.
Uh -huh.
Isn't that funny?
Yeah.
Well, I thought it was kind of cute.
Well, so do I. It's just that this is the way I display mirth when I'm
miserable.
What's the matter?
Nothing, really.
I'm just out of a job, that's all.
Oh, Rhoda, no.
Hi. Oh, hiya, Lou.
Good, you're back from lunch.
Listen, will you get that stuff on the postal reform ready? I want to go over
with you.
Well, Mr.
Grant, I'm not really back from lunch. I still have three minutes.
Mary, you're an executive.
You don't have to punch a clock around here.
You can come back early.
Well, for today, could I just come back on time?
Okay, but you better not be late.
it happen?
Oh, listen, we can talk about this later. I don't want to get you in
You still have a job, even if I don't. Hey, you weren't fired, were you?
Fired? Who got fired?
Oh.
Come on, Mary, who was it? Who got fired? Oh, nobody, Ted. Really, nobody.
It was you, wasn't it?
I wasn't fired. I quit.
What do you do?
Oh, I was a window dresser.
So did you happen to watch my show last night?
Sympathetic, isn't he?
The reason I mention it is because I did a special report on the unemployment
crisis. It's at an all -time high this year, you know. Yeah, thanks. I heard.
Or is it low?
Hi, Ted.
Hi, Murr. Anyway, I had to speak to you.
Good. Now that I have you all together, could I get you all to move apart?
Mary, you're late.
All over the world.
Just get back to work. Now, I'm going to be fine. All right, but I'll see you as
soon as I get home tonight, okay? Sure.
And look, don't worry about me, kid.
I've always wanted a free afternoon.
Now I've got one.
What are you going to do?
Well, I don't know. It's 1 o 'clock.
I think I'll take a little walk.
Get my mind off not having a job. Good. Maybe do some window shopping.
No, wrong.
Yeah.
I guess I'll just take a bus home and worry.
You're getting to be a very nice little cook, Mary.
Thank you, Phyllis.
It's a new recipe.
Well, anytime you want to progress to gourmet things, I have some lovely
recipes. Anyone can do them.
Even me?
Oh, sure.
Even my little best made the most delicious beef stroganoff the other day.
isn't easy on a toy stove.
a bunch of executives from the Chapman Chocolate Company. They want him to
accept an advisory position.
Why would a chocolate company hire a dermatologist?
Never mind.
I just figured it out. So, anyway, I thought I would stay home and see how
swinging singles fill your hours.
Oh, Phyllis, we do the same thing you do. We usually sit around and wonder
it would be like to have a happy marriage.
the dishes, kids.
Ask the Phyllis Leaves.
To be able to express your hostility so openly, Rhoda. I admire you for that.
Really, I do.
Well, Phil, it's just that today at the office, Rhoda and I got into a kind of a
personal discussion and we couldn't finish it because there were all these
people standing around.
Fodding in.
you two have so much more in common, you're both being husbandless and all.
You know, I liked it better when we were swinging singles.
You know, Rhoda, dear, when Bess has been hurt by some of her little friends,
always tell her, it's natural when there are three in a relationship that one
gets left out.
All right, then, stay.
So just start the story where you left off.
pick up on it.
Well, you know, I've been unhappy there for a long time. Where? At her job at
Bloomfields. You've been fired.
It so happens I quit.
And what are you smiling?
Oh, just trying to cheer you up.
So why were you fired?
Phyllis. So why did you quit?
Well, they've always been so chintzy, Mayor. I mean, I've never had enough
or materials to do my windows right. It's always make do.
Remember that trouble I had last spring?
Oh, yeah, I do. Something about the Easter display and you wanted to buy a
bunny rabbit or something? Yeah, and they told me to use the kangaroo.
The kangaroo?
Yeah, it was left over from a display saluting Australia.
What their thinking was, are you ready for this one, folks?
What's the difference? They both hop.
Mary, I'm a... creative person. I cannot do corny, old -fashioned windows with
flowered swings and fake birds and daisies from ribbons. Oh, I love those!
Anyway, two other girls in the department got bonuses on their checks
week. And you didn't. And I didn't.
So? So, I went into Werber and I said, Look, Mr. Werber, if I were a sensitive
type person, I'd think you were trying to tell me something.
And what'd he say? He congratulated me on my sensitivity.
So what could I do?
I quit.
Hey, listen, you won't find any trouble at all getting a new job. You're too
good at what you do to be out of work for long. Thanks, Mia.
I had a similar experience.
Years and years ago, right after college.
Well, actually, it wasn't years ago.
She's got an anecdote for every occasion. I made up my mind that I was
find a really special job. And I pounded the pavement. And finally, I came up
with something that paid $24 ,000 a year.
What? Lars.
Too bad you couldn't get it in cash.
television was acting funny and it finally died. I can't afford to get it
now. So I just came down here and was watching some daytime programs.
Daytime? At 7 .30?
Really? I was wondering what Walter Cronkite was doing on a soap opera.
You know, Mayor, it's fantastic how quickly you catch up on these soap
Last time I saw Dawn of Day was when I had the flu five years ago.
Today I turned it on, she's still having that baby.
You know, today, Ruth Elizabeth, she meets this guy named Guy, who they tell
is a fiancé.
She has amnesia, you know.
No, I didn't remember that.
Neither does she.
So, uh, did you look for a job?
Sort of, yeah. You know, you start out watching these shows for laughs, and
you find yourself getting really hooked.
And the game shows.
But, uh, you didn't have any interviews or anything, huh? Who had time?
I cleaned the apartment, washed my hair.
Did some laundry, and the day was shot.
Well, you ought to get out and look, though, don't you think? I mean, if only
for the fresh air.
Well, I did get out today.
I signed up for unemployment.
Oh, you?
Yep. Hey, I thought you couldn't collect unemployment if you quit. I thought you
had to be fired or something.
Oh, well, uh, Werber claims he fired me.
Oh. Well, what difference does it make?
At least you get the money, right?
Right. $57 a week. It's not exactly diamonds and mink time, but it helps.
I didn't smell gas, so... Thanks for keeping a nose on me, Phyllis.
Isn't she a wonder the way she keeps her sense of humor at a time like this?
It's not such a terrible time. You're right, Rhoda. I went through this
morning's paper and I circled in red the jobs that I think you might have a
chance of getting. Thank you very much, Phyllis. Well, you're very welcome,
Rhoda. So what's new with you, Mary?
Keypunch operator.
Keypunch operator.
Not only don't I know how to be one, I don't even know what one is.
It's funny. You always see ads for them, though, don't you? There must be a
shortage of them or something. You should look into it. I mean, at least it
would give you a skill.
Girls, earn up to $2 .50 a week, no experience, ness.
Wow.
Call Mr.
Edwin Eddie Clark, Elton Hotel Suite 202, day or night, or send full -figure
snap. Oh.
hurts to explore all the possibilities. Thanks, Phyllis, but I'm not ready to
explore those possibilities yet. All right.
How would you like to be a commercial artist?
Well, yeah.
Where is that? I've always wanted to be a commercial artist. Then draw this
girl.
Phyllis, the time has not yet arrived when I get my jobs off matchbooks.
Have it your way.
Oh, boy, that Phyllis. She really picks a person up.
Hey, I know what.
Let's change our clothes and go out to dinner and a movie, huh?
Okay, but I can't afford to do both those things.
I gotta really watch expenses, ma 'am. Well, okay, well, which one can you
afford? I can change my clothes.
What are you looking for, Ted?
A list of job openings.
Ted checks that listing every day to see if his job is available.
If it isn't, he knows he's still working.
He's like that guy that checks the obituaries every morning to see if he's
alive.
I like to keep abreast of things at the station, that's all.
Switchboard operator, sales secretary, associate art director.
Anchorman.
No.
Say, Mary, did Rhoda get a job yet?
No, she's still looking.
Well, what about that art department job?
What art department job? The one that Ted just mentioned.
General art background. She's had that.
Some set design.
She's a window decorator. That's close.
Lettering experience.
She can fake that. Hey, Mary, it would be fun with you two working in the same
place.
Oh, I don't think Rhoda would be interested in this. You know, I...
First of all, she would hate being cooped up in those little cubby holes
have down in the art department. Well, I admit, it's not the wide open spaces of
a department store window.
And she letters terribly.
Very poor.
She printed a note to the milkman last week. He left her one egg and a dozen
quarts of buttermilk.
No, she wouldn't be right for this. Okay, I'm just trying to help.
Well, thank you, but she's got a bunch of interviews today. She'll undoubtedly
come up with something.
Coming by here for lunch at 12, and I'll bet you she's got something by then.
Hiya, Rhoda. Hi, Murray.
Oh, is it 12 already?
No. It's only 11 .15.
Have you finished your interviews?
The first two were filled before I got there.
Well, what about the third? I can't operate a key punch.
Well, listen, kid, you had a rough morning, but, uh...
You'll find something by this afternoon. Listen, I'll see if I can hurry up and
finish and we'll have an early lunch, okay? Oh, that's okay. I can wait down
the drugstore, read a few greeting cards.
Oh.
No, no, no. Sit down and just relax. I'll only be a minute.
Oh.
Well, no, see, the idea is to read it.
There's that word again.
Switchboard operator.
Sales secretary.
Associate art director. That's filled.
That's already been filled.
That one.
I don't even know what that's doing up on the board anymore.
Let me go to an early lunch. Oh, no, ma 'am. Don't do that for me. Oh, no.
Oh, let her.
Come in.
Mr.
Grant, I was supposed to go to an early lunch with Rhoda, but she's here now,
and... You'd like to make it a late breakfast instead.
Yeah.
See, she's kind of depressed because she hasn't found a job yet, and...
Well, anyway, I thought I would work late tonight if it's okay if I go now.
Okay? Mary, you know what?
You're a fine human being.
Boy, I bet you Murray doesn't think so.
He's probably sitting out there right now thinking that I'm... Boy, and I
blame him. Look what I did.
is piece of paper.
This is the job list off the bulletin board.
Rhoda asked me about that job and I said it was filled and it isn't and I don't
even know why I did it. Isn't that the rottenest thing you ever heard of?
Okay.
Let me take this from the top.
Your best friend who's very depressed because she's out of work is qualified
a job which you knew about.
You. A fine human being.
And not only didn't you tell her about the job, but you lied and said it was
Phil. Is that close?
Yeah, that's close.
Well, why are you smiling at me?
Because you've just reaffirmed my faith in human nature.
You mean that what I just did wasn't rotten?
Oh, no, no, that was rotten, all right.
nice to know that everyone's rotten.
Up to now, I thought you were one of the few holdouts.
Well, the thing is that it
wasn't really a very good job. I mean, you know, the pay is very low.
There's not really any chance for advancement at all, and it really, it
looked to be boring.
Did you think of all that before you lied and said it was Phil?
No.
Yeah, steak, sandwich, medium, and coffee, please. Sand, medium, coffee.
And I'll have a small green salad. Small green salad. Does that come with
crackers? Yeah.
That's all?
That's all?
Hey, we have a great soup today, vegetable, homemade.
Yeah, their soup is homemade. It's very good. Have soup. Yeah, it's very good.
All right, girls, soup.
Instead of the salad. Instead of the salad.
Does that also come with crackers?
Yeah.
Lunch? Rhoda, have the steak.
She'll have the steak sandwich. Okay, two steak sandwiches and soup. No, Mary.
No, wait, wait. I will have the soup.
And a salad. Okay? Is that enough? But, Rhoda, it's my treat.
Why should it be your treat? I'm the one that invited myself to lunch. Well,
it's not a lunch. It's brunch.
It's a steak sandwich, soup, and salad.
And crackers.
Right.
Why should you pay, no matter what it is? Because I want to.
because I lied when I said it was Phil.
What? Rhoda, I don't know why I did it. I guess maybe I thought I would have to
be responsible for you or that maybe it wouldn't be good for our friendship to
be working that closely together all the time. You know, we get on each other's
nerves maybe, but anyway, I'm sorry I did it and it's yours if you still want
it. What's mine if I still want it?
It's really hard to believe. I know, I know.
You actually think I'd want this crummy job?
The pay stinks, the job looks like a complete bore, and I'd probably have to
work in one of those little cells, right?
Well, yeah.
Mary, come on. I mean, how could you?
I didn't.
I told Murray just this morning that you wouldn't be interested in this job.
You really expect me to swallow that? No, you thought...
really sorry.
Gee, kid, you really feel bad, don't you?
Yeah, I do.
Well, let me cheer you up then.
weeks is here that's not true she's gone to unemployment you know where that
money comes from don't you yes from the employer that money comes from us the
taxpayers from you and me and lars and best best would you tell me how a 12
old pays taxes every time she buys a little toy oh phyllis anyway rhoda says
that things are slow right now yes mostly her pulse
her in this life of sloth. Oh, come on, Phyllis. She's not slothy.
Mary, as her friends, we owe it to her to straighten her out.
We have to force her to take a good, hard look at herself. We have to shake
up. We have to slap some sense into her.
That must be said.
Mary?
What is it, Mia?
Well,
Rhoda, as a friend, it's about you're not
looking for work. Not looking, you know, but not looking
hard enough, you mean. Right.
Well, I guess so. If I were...
I'm out of work, Rhoda. I'd really... I'd sure be out there looking for a job.
mean, I'd probably be a nervous wreck by now.
And as a friend... You'd like me to be a nervous wreck, too?
Mary, let me handle this.
Rhoda, dear.
It seems to me you're enjoying this.
Oh, Phyllis, she's not enjoying it. Yes, Mary, I am. You are enjoying being out
of work?
No, I'm enjoying watching the two of you.
stumbling over each other.
A hind.
Because today, I found a job.
What? Yes.
Well, why didn't you say something? For heaven's sake, where? At Hempel's, in
charge of the window dressing department.
The whole department? Yeah.
Fantastic. The department is only one other girl, but the manager wants far
windows, and he says I can experiment all I want.
Oh, Rhoda, I am so happy for you. I know you are, kid. Well,
If it doesn't, what's the worst that can happen? They'll fire me like they did
at Bloomfields. Uh -huh.
Oh, Phyllis, this is a big night for you, isn't it? Two ahas.
But you were fired.
Yes, Phyllis, yes, I were fired. But now I are hired.
And I'm making more money than Mary.
I'm sorry, I meant to get her with that one.
No, listen, it's okay. I'm still happy for you.
How much more?
Have you had dinner yet? No. Then let's go out and celebrate. Great idea. And
the one who's making more treats, right? Right.
Good morning.
Good morning, Mary.
Say, Mary, here's a good job.
I'm associate producer for the Chef Leroy show.
Hey, they pay you associate producers pretty well.
Let me see that.
It's already filled.
It is not, Lou, and you know it. Mr. Grant, that wasn't a very nice thing to
I know, but I've always been rotten.
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