All language subtitles for Mary Tyler Moore s02e11 The Six-And-A-Half Year Itch

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Original subtitles

Who can turn the world on with her smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should know it.

With each glance and every little movement you show it, love is all I

to waste it. You can never tell, why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all.

You're gonna make it after all.

come to a standstill until the sanitation workers and the city come to

a new wage hike.

Spokesman for the striking workers said that unless their demands are met, they

will continue to refuse to collect the refuse.

Meanwhile, the mess mounts.

Isn't that awful?

Yeah, I sure hope it doesn't happen here.

I was talking about Ted.

Till tomorrow at six, this is Ted Baxter saying...

back to saying good night and good news.

What did you say on my calendar here? You wrote important and then made some

squiggly lines after it. Oh, yeah, I must have been in a hurry. I wrote it in

shorthand. You have the Mayor's Commission meeting on crime and violence

at 8. Ah, I'm glad I caught that. If I missed that meeting, they'd kill me.

How do you qualify as an expert on violence, Lou?

Wait till Ted gets here. I'll show you.

Mr. Grant, don't forget tomorrow night you have the Twin Lakes Homeowners

Association meeting.

I just bought a couple of tickets to a big fundraising banquet.

I gotta go to that homeowner's meeting. It's being held at my house.

Murray, you wanna take these tickets and go to my place? Nah, gee, I'd love to,

Lou, but I'm on the health and welfare committee of my union and we have a

meeting tomorrow night.

Well, uh, Mr. Grant, if you can't get anybody else, I'll be happy to go to the

banquet in your place.

Thanks anyway, Mary. Well, no, I...

The Big Brothers of America stag band.

Well, thanks, Mr. Graham, but I have something else to do.

Oh, too bad you can't go, Mary. You'd be a big hit there. I'll go.

Where is it I'm going to be a big hit, Lou? The Big Brothers of America

Oh, really? I didn't know we had a club. Wait till my little brother hears about

this. No, Ted, you don't get the idea.

Yeah, you volunteer to be a big brother to an underprivileged kid.

It's great.

You take him to ball games and dinner. and just be his pal.

I don't think I'd be any good at that. I can't even do that with my real

brother. I couldn't go anyway. It's Tuesday night. What's so special about

Tuesday night?

I volunteer to entertain the troops at local armed forces bases.

Oh, gee, Ted, that's very nice.

What is it that you do?

A little comedy act.

Yeah, he's going to read the news to them and break them up.

Well, they asked me to come.

Just couldn't refuse, right, Ted?

Right. I know I shouldn't ask this, but just what kind of a comedy act do you

do? I do a ventriloquist act. No kidding?

Mm -hmm. Whose knee do you sit on?

Now, I don't know how all of you find the time to do all these things in

addition to your jobs. Mr.

Grant's got three meetings this week. You've got one. Two. Two?

that show.

I just don't know how you find the time. I feel so... You know what I am doing

tomorrow night while you're at your meeting and you're at your meeting and

you're entertaining the troops?

I'm washing my hair.

Mary, I'd give up all my outside activities of washing my hair to

take up a whole evening.

I forget. If you want to...

Loosen something. Do you turn it clockwise or counterclockwise?

Counterclockwise.

Well, I think I just tightened it tighter.

Mary, we're not strong enough to loosen it. Maybe I'll just have to go out and

hail a man.

Got it. Too bad.

Much weight, I guess.

Thanks, Phyllis. I was sitting on my boyfriend's shoulders when he was

Rhoda and I have decided to take up biking.

Rhoda, I had no idea you were so interested in ecology.

Who's interested in ecology?

I'm interested in my thighs.

My ecology group is trying to eliminate cars from the city and get people to use

bicycles instead.

Phyllis, what was that you were driving out of your garage this morning?

It was a very big thing with a lot of black smoke coming out the back.

Well, I have to use my car.

My other civic groups are important, too, you know. I don't have the time to

just go peddling all over town.

Phyllis, where do you find the time? You make the time, Mary, if you're a

concerned citizen.

There's no reason you couldn't.

You have no ties, no responsibilities, no one who needs you.

You need her, Phyllis. Who would you be bugging right now if she weren't here?

I should try to make the time.

Well, far be it from me to try to influence you, Mary, but joining some

a civic group wouldn't hurt your social life either. Uh -uh, no. I'm not looking

for a way to meet men. I am looking for a way to do something, to be involved.

You know, Mary, you're right.

It's important for us to get actively interested in civic affairs, to become

better citizens.

Right. And if along the way we happen to meet a couple of cute new guys...

Oh, Rhoda, I don't want to do this to meet men.

Phyllis, are there any groups that are exclusively female?

Harry, let's not be fanatics about this.

Let me see here now.

Exclusively female.

Wait, here it is.

No, what?

Brownies.

Here it is. A new group, Women for Better Government.

And they're having their first meeting tonight at 8 .30 in the Civic

Tonight? huh?

That sounds pretty good.

Hey, you want to go with me? What would I want to go there for?

Who knows?

You might find it more stimulating than watching roller derby on TV.

Come on, go with me. Why don't you go upstairs and change?

Mary, I am proud of you.

All right. All right, ma 'am, I'll go.

But why do I have to change my clothes?

For a bunch of women?

Wait, maybe there'll be a parking attendant.

for three bills being introduced in the legislature this year?

Think of her.

Think of her. Think of him. Who?

Him, that's who. Standing up there next to her.

Oh, you mean the governor's assistant?

Yeah, Mary. The only man in the room.

I like the plans that he showed us for more glass bottle recycling centers.

Positively gorgeous.

People shouldn't have to drive 20 miles to get to one.

I want you to be living in your house at all times. I mean, I think if you make

it convenient for people, they will cooperate and take their bottles into

centers.

Okay, what's wrong?

He was crazy about you.

He was not.

He was too, Mary. Come on now. During the question and answer period, when you

asked the question, he left the podium, came down to the audience, asked me to

move over, and then sat down next to you and answered you personally.

He's interested in her.

Rhoda, he did not come down off the stage.

With his eyes, he did.

What are you smiling?

I'm sorry.

Mary, listen, don't defend yourself to me. Believe me, I know why you went to

that meeting.

Not to meet men.

Well, so you got unlucky.

You have my sympathy.

Come on, Rhoda. I didn't meet him.

I wish I had.

He was pretty attractive, wasn't he? Yeah.

He didn't even get my name. Well, he got mine. I took off my name tag and pinned

it to his jacket.

Good night, kid. Good night.

Oh, Mary.

I'm tired. Can I leave this down here for tonight?

Yeah. Yeah, maybe it'll be gone in the morning.

talk to you then.

Goodbye.

How?

How, uh, what?

How did he get your number?

Oh, simple matter to get a person's number.

He didn't know your name.

He got my license plate number as we were driving away.

Yeah. And then he stopped a highway patrolman and had him...

That's happened to me. I once had a guy track me down like that. A highway

patrolman.

Sixty -three dollar speeding ticket.

Or a week in jail.

Mary?

Yes, sir?

Mary?

You have to go shopping for me today.

For my wife's birthday.

I usually give her money to buy something for herself, but this year she

to be surprised.

By you.

And you'll have to hurry.

Her birthday was yesterday.

Well, uh, Mr. Grant, we're kind of busy this morning.

So, go on your lunch hour.

Oh, well, I have a sort of, uh, a lunch appointment.

Is it a business lunch? No, no, I'm having lunch with a friend.

Edie's going to be awfully disappointed if I don't get her a birthday present

today. Well, I'm sorry.

I'm going to be awfully disappointed, too.

But you're having your lunch with your friend.

Mr. Grant, it's just that this lunch is sort of important to me.

It must be to antagonize me at 10 .30 in the morning.

Mr. Grant, I... No, no, no.

That's okay.

I'll go out and get her a gift myself.

Good. She'll hate it.

But I'll get it myself.

Now, what happened in there, Mayor?

Morning, guys.

Mr. Grant asked me to get Mrs. Grant a birthday present, and I had to say no.

Good for you, Mayor.

If you got her a present, you'd have to get Murray's wife a present, and I don't

even have a wife.

This isn't fair.

After all, whoever thinks of my mother... What's your mother got to do

this?

Well, if everyone's wife gets a present, I don't know why my mother...

I would be delighted to buy Mrs. Grant a birthday present at lunch.

He broke your lunch date, huh? I wasn't going to tell you this, but he broke my

lunch date.

He made another date for just ten minutes from now downstairs for coffee,

it's all right with you. I mean, I know it sounds a little weird, but you see,

he's a very busy... Just a minute.

I don't want to know who it is you're running out to me.

You know, the policy around here is that we don't bring our personal lives...

Into the newsroom. Right. Just do your work. Right.

Make sure you get Edie a nice present.

Has Mrs. Grant given you any hints as to what she'd like her surprise to be?

Only for 20 years.

But it's too late now. The species is extinct.

Well, I've got plenty of time to find her something really nice. Because now,

you know, before I couldn't. I had a problem because of the lunch. But now I

can. I can just... I'm gone. I'm gone.

appreciate what you're doing.

Would you like a nice gold locket with my picture in it?

That would be very nice.

I mean, for my wife.

The cashier at the coffee shop had a message for me that he couldn't make it.

Ted, are you looking for something? No, thanks.

No, Ted, if you're looking for something, let me help you with it. I'm

reading.

You're reading the old news files?

Well, I couldn't pick up a newspaper this morning.

Yeah, they must have emptied the trash basket at the bus stop.

Your date phoned to tell you he's sorry he stood you up.

But he got an emergency call at the last minute from the governor to make up for

it. He wants to buy you dinner tonight.

But he won't be able to call you this afternoon.

So he'll pick you up at 8 at your place if it's all right with you.

Hello?

Yes, it is.

No, he isn't here yet, but I am expecting him. We have a date. Who's

please?

Well, hello, Mr. Governor, sir.

Can I have him return your call?

You'll wait?

On the...

If you want to, that's fine with me.

No, no trouble.

He said that he would be here at 8 o 'clock.

So he should be here in two minutes.

One minute if he's early.

Oh, it's Mary Richards.

I'm very pleased to meet you too, sir.

I don't blame you.

No, no, I... I hope you both have a very pleasant evening.

Goodbye, sir.

If you would just make separate piles.

My stamps. The envelopes on the right, the flyers on the left. I just had those

stamps. The stamps are around your neck.

Oh, thanks.

You're welcome.

Okay, you ready?

Ready.

Oh,

Mary. Oh, my.

Oh, Mary.

If my mother was here, she'd say, you're asking for trouble.

It's perfect.

You don't think it's too dressy? Nah, not for that place. Where is it he's

taking you? The Twelve Trees. I've never been there before.

Oh, yes.

Oh, I haven't been there in years. Not since our fifth wedding anniversary.

Gee, Lars has better taste than I thought.

Well, Lars wasn't there.

He was out of town. But I thought, well, why let that ruin a perfectly good

anniversary?

Mary's going there for a celebration, too. It's their fifth first date.

I thought you'd already been out with him.

Well, not quite. See, he's had to cancel every date we've had so far because of

work. But tonight he promises nothing.

can interfere. The governor is making a speech in Duluth, so he won't even be in

town. Well, I hope it works out for you kids.

These super career guys are really rough.

I mean, with their work always comes first.

That's a good point, Rhoda. But Mary, this is a sacrifice a woman has to make.

Many times I've been left alone while Lars has gone out on emergency house

calls. Phyllis, Lars is a dermatologist. When does he ever make house calls?

Well, on weekends.

and another doctor take each other's calls. He's a bone specialist.

Sure, yeah.

When somebody breaks their leg, Mars goes to the house and tells them not to

scratch it.

What do you think of these?

Oh, yeah, beautiful.

I have just the thing for that dress. I'll be right back.

Mary, here they are.

My best earrings.

Antique gold.

They really do look great. Thank you. Just be very, very careful with them.

They've been in my family for generations.

I don't know what I'd do if you lost them. They're insured, of course, but

know how mother hands them down to daughter and mother...

I shall go.

angst that she usually runs with.

You know, when a girl is barely 30 and attractive,

has a nice personality, I find it difficult to understand why she isn't

married. You're talking about Mary?

Of course. Because you can't understand why I'm not married.

Of course. Do me a favor, Phyllis. Would you write it down and send it to my

mother? She doesn't understand.

It was the governor.

And because the governor was out of town, he had to go somewhere in his

Well, why didn't you go with him? Because he had to go to Anchorage,

Why didn't you go with him?

Oh, boy, all that money and the dress never got off the block.

Maybe he didn't notice the kid. You can wear it again.

It's got to be the shortest romance on record.

Exactly. What do I want to get involved with someone like that for?

Two minutes here, a phone call there, and he's trying to impress me.

Imagine what it would be like if we were going together and he started taking me

for granted.

Morning,

guys. Hi. Morning.

Leaving town, Ted? That's too bad. I'll drive you to the airport.

No, no.

I keep my dummy in this thing. I mean my hand puppet. I'll show it to you.

Hi, guys.

They're cute.

Well, thanks for the compliment, Mary.

You know, the little kids at the Air Force Base really ate up my act last

The kids?

Yeah, well, some of the officers brought their kids.

Fuzzy and I were a real smash.

Right, Fuzzo? Yep.

You know, I got to think of...

If my show could have a little more kid appeal, it might help the ratings.

What did you have in mind? Oh, I don't know.

Something like a kid's view of the news, you know, five minutes or so.

This is Ted Baxter and Fuzzy with the latest round of the...

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