Original subtitles

It's our very own time machine, man. Are you for real? Are you just going to

erase us from existence or something, dude?

We're going to go back to the year of 1985.

All right. Here we go. Oh, shit. What the fuck? It's so loud. Holy shit.

Oh,

my God.

Oh, shit.

We're in my grandma's house from 1995.

So are you guys. And how'd you get in my room? Bro,

shoot your stepmom. This is our chance to lose our virginity.

Where did they go?

What the fuck just happened? Do you have the time machine? Our moms, they must

have taken the... What do we do now?

Oh, bro, I don't know. I mean, the flux capacitor was in the phone. Without

that, we can't get back. See, I fucking told you we shouldn't have messed with

the timeline.

Dude, I already told you I'm sorry, man. What the fuck?

What do we do now? They had the time machines back in 1995.

I'm sorry, man. Can't you just build another one?

Build another one?

No, I can't build another one. I don't have the things here, the technology.

That was it. That was it.

Well, I mean, that's not what you were saying when you were fucking bald

your mom, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You always got to be like that, huh?

Look, I already told you. We don't ever, ever speak of that again.

No. All right, man. Whatever, bro. What do we do? How do we fix it?

Jimmy?

I heard a loud bang. Is everything okay in there?

Jimmy, what the fuck? What is that noise?

What is going on in there?

I'm coming in right now.

What is going on in here?

Oh, hey, Miss Temple.

How are you?

What is that smell?

It smells like 90s asshole in here.

God, it smells like fucking teen spirit in here. Hey, Ms. Temple, that's the

project we're working on, right?

Yeah, it is. Yeah. Well, listen, Carlos, I've known you all your life. Call me

Chloe.

Yeah, yeah.

Listen,

you guys need to be outside. You guys are cooped up in here all day long.

I don't get it. Like, what is wrong with you guys?

Look.

It's just, we're just working on a project, and... Okay, okay, I can take

hint. This place is a fucking disaster.

I'm your mom, not your maid, but lucky for you, I have a load to take, so...

the only load.

Excuse me, Carlos?

Oh, um, my mom says hi.

Tell Venus I said hello.

Will do.

You all right?

Um, yeah, honey, I'm just a little bit of a deja vu. I'm going to go take this

blow. Do you think she knew?

Do you think she, like, do you think she remembers?

The only thing I know is your mom looks hot as hell.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah, dick? Okay, all right.

Fuck that. Look, we need to, you know, I need to go fix some of this real quick.

We got to get back to the past.

What the hell is in the book? I don't know.

You guys definitely

can't be hanging out with us looking like that.

It can't be.

You guys look like a couple of dorks.

Makeover!

No. No, no, no, no.

Nice. Oh my god.

Oh my god, I know who they remind me of now.

Our brother.

What the fuck?

I gotta call Venus right now.

Venus,

oh my god, you gotta come over right now. There's something really fucking

going on. Wait, wait, wait, slow down.

It smells like the 90s.

Okay, I'll see you in ten minutes.

I'm so glad you're here.

Is this why you're calling me all hysterical? What's wrong? No, come sit,

sit. So, um, these look familiar, right? You remember these?

What am I looking at? Dirty laundry? No, these are the outfits from the boys.

Remember, 18 years ago, our V -cards? We lost them to those boys. They were

wearing these outfits. The makeover.

Shut the front door. There's no way these are their clothes. I'm telling

Smell it.

It doesn't smell like memories.

It smelled like NSYNC in the 90s.

You're crazy. There's no way. Yes, I'm telling you.

Okay, those boys, they look like our step -sons, Carlos and Jimmy.

There's no way. You're crazy.

Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm having a nervous breakdown. No, I'm right. I'm

telling you. This looks familiar.

Those boys are up to something, and I'm going to get down to the bottom of it.

You know what? I know how to fix this.

Jimmy, Carlos, come here.

Me and Venus need to talk to you.

Mom, what now?

Don't let me. Come sit down. Come on, boy.

Right here.

Come on.

Does this look familiar?

No. I mean, yeah.

We wore them earlier.

Yeah.

You're funny. What are you doing downstairs anyway?

Huh? What are you doing downstairs?

Classified information.

Classified my ass. What were you guys really doing downstairs?

What the hell, Mom? I'm getting my business.

It's classified.

It's nothing to worry about.

I definitely have something to worry about.

Where did you get it from, Jimmy?

Uh... Carlos?

You got it for me.

You can get me all my clothes, Mom. Come on.

Very funny. Put it on.

Put it on.

Get dressed.

Don't talk back. I just took it off. I thought you were going to watch it.

talk back. Put it on.

Come on, son. Put it on.

I mean, I guess.

I mean, here goes nothing.

See, Venus? I told you.

Look. It's them.

The makeover.

No, no.

No. Are you kidding me? No.

Yes, Venus. I'm telling you.

The clothes you don't remember?

There's no way. Just now.

How can you not forget?

How can you not forget the guy you lost your virginity to, Venus?

It's been 18 years. I just, I can't believe it. It doesn't make any sense.

I know it'll make sense.

Jimmy, show us your cock.

I will never forget that cock.

Yeah, I have to see it.

What? Mom, no.

Don't disrespect me. I'm not showing it. I don't want to hear your back talk.

Pull down your pants.

What do you mean? I'm not just going to pull out my dick in front of you and

Venus and Carlos.

No back talk.

No fucking way. I want to see your talk.

Listen to your mother, young man. Do as I say.

Help me.

Yeah, just do it. I have to see it.

All right, okay, okay.

Here goes nothing.

You ready?

All right, you guys asked for it. Yes, we did. Pull it out.

I told you.

Carlos, stand up.

Carlos, stand up.

We just want to see it. I gotta see it. I gotta know.

Are you sure?

Yes. We have to see it. We have to see it. We need to find out. Not at all.

I told you.

Same cock.

I can't stand two cocks from 18 years ago.

It is.

Oh, my gosh.

I told you.

They are.

We've been searching for these dicks for 18 years. 18 long years. Very long

years. I don't want to do it again.

I mean, I don't think they'd be opposed to it.

I don't know, Mom. That's kind of weird.

Yeah.

I mean.

It won't be weird if we switch, right?

Right?

I mean, I guess not.

I think it's glitch, I think.

Yeah,

I guess so.

Not like we haven't done it before.

Thank you.

Fuck. You guys are getting better at

this.

We've had 18 years of practice.

Oh, my

God.

I've been looking for that dick all the past 18 years.

Is it as sloppy as you remember?

Wow.

That's even better than I remember. Holy shit.

Wow,

I can't believe I went in 18 years for that.

I miss that car.

Thank you.

Oh my god.

You make me feel like a teenager again.

Oh, and show me, like, the stuff that you remember I was.

It was just yesterday.

Bro, that one was like ten minutes ago.

Yeah,

take off those dorky fucking clothes.

Thank you.

your tongue. I want to see if it's as good as I remember it.

Right, Janice?

I want to see if your tongue is as good as we remember.

Yeah, let's see.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, yeah, just like that. Oh, yeah. Okay, just like that.

re -enter that clock.

This is what his son's called.

Why am I digging your mouth? That's weird.

Oh, I just want to taste it.

Put it back in there.

Oh, fuck, yeah.

Oh, my tiny.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Oh,

fuck. Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

Oh,

fuck.

Yeah.

Oh, my. Mom, that's weird.

What are you doing?

I just want to taste it. I want to remember how it tastes.

like that.

Yeah, you're doing such a great job, son.

I think that's a great idea, Joey.

Oh, come on. Come on.

Just like last time.

Because it's so weird.

No, I don't think so.

18 years ago. You

have blonde hair.

You're right and I have more experience.

Tastes just like I remember It does taste just like we remember

I want to see what it feels like inside.

It feels just like I remember.

I love you.

I remember.

So good.

Oh, please.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

Just like that, son.

Mommy?

Just give it to me.

Big mommy milkers.

like big fucking mommy.

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Oh, my God.

Oh, shit.

Where did the time go?

I think you guys' sisters are about to be back from cheerleading practice.

Yeah. Sisters.

Yeah. You guys have sisters.

Happy 18th birthday, sweetheart.

Happy birthday, babe!

Happy birthday to you too, slut!

I'm sorry I couldn't be there to celebrate with you, but there's a reason

chose this weekend to leave town and leave you with this letter. A present?

The truth is that Sergeant Miles is not your biological father.

The truth of who your real father is is even stranger still.

Love, Mom.