Original subtitles

All right.

How about this one?

I don't know, Corky. Yes, you do, Murphy. You can get this. We both know

future success depends on it.

Is it Big Bird?

No! It ain't Big Bird. It has no feathers, no beak.

It's Cookie Monster.

How do you ever expect to teach your child to read?

Try this one.

Topo Gigio?

Okay, people, I've got an announcement to make.

Well, not so much an announcement as a favor to ask.

A tiny favor. A favorite, really, for the network who pays us so well to do a

job we love so much.

Steady. Now, I know how you felt in the past when you've been asked to attend

tribute dinners which honor others in our business.

But... This one happens to be at the Museum of Broadcast Arts, which would

a trip to exciting New York. Yes, New York, the city that never sleeps. They

would if they had to sit through one of these stupid dinners. Am I right, guys?

Okay,

okay, fine.

I'll tell them you're not interested.

Too bad, really, because the show they happen to be honoring this year is FYI.

I'm kidding. But if you're not interested, I... Give me that or I'll

glasses.

An evening with FYI honoring 15 years of excellence in journalism. What an

honor. You know the best part? The award also honors the invaluable contribution

of the producer as well, which means I'm going to be right up on that stage

along with you. Me, who hasn't won an award since my senior class voted me

likely to hemorrhage.

So, Miles, how much is the cash award, and do we have to split it with you?

There's no money involved, and this is not an attractive side of you.

The evening will begin in an auditorium of adoring fans asking us questions,

followed by a film retrospective celebrating FYI's past 15 years. Then a

and a VIP reception at the Four Seasons. No one gives money anymore.

It's so amazing.

First Miss America, now this?

You guys realize we are now a part of history? We're going to live forever in

the museum archive. To be honored with the likes of Edward R. Murrow, Chet

Huntley.

The best part, I didn't have to die to get it.

Peter Jennings was wrong.

Okay, guys, I'm going to need clips from the show to put in the retrospective.

Why don't each of you make a list of what you think are the top five pieces

we've ever done, and I'll edit something together. Well, you know, there's

Murphy's Gorbachev piece. That was brilliant.

Well, thanks. Oh, what about your Mafia story?

And then there's Jim's Love Canal piece. Oh, well, let's not forget Corky's.

while of Mrs. Fields and her cookies.

And since we're being honored as a team, the last clip I included was our group

location show from the Berlin Wall.

Well, there it is.

20 minutes, just like they asked for.

So, what do you think? Very nice. Okay, then. I'll just send this off to New

York. Miles, I was just wondering, I guess you...

Decided not to use my crack house, Pete?

I thought your Pentagon piece was much stronger.

He's right, Frank. Much more powerful.

Besides, I'm sure Miles had to make many tough choices, just as he chose to use

clips of me, primarily from what appears to be the dawn of television.

Well, Jimbo, most of the footage of you doing actual stories is from the earlier

days when you went out on assignment more.

Oh, I like the footage, Jim. It offered an interesting glimpse back in time.

Although it was more than just a glimpse, really.

It's more of a look.

A long look.

A very long look at the early days of FYI.

I guess that's why there's not much of me in it. Well, Corky, you've only been

with the show for the past four years, while others of us have obviously been

here since the days of wide lapels and long sideburns.

Let's remember that this film represents all of us as a team.

If we just pick it apart and focus on ourselves, then we'll miss the essence,

the grandeur of what FYI has come to stand for. You got one minute and 17

seconds more than anyone else. You timed it? Well,

maybe that's because Miles recognizes that my stories tend to carry a little

more, you know, weight.

More weight?

And who are you all of a sudden, Jenny Craig?

Hey, look, this is not a problem. We're talking about a few minor adjustments.

Let me go get some coffee. We'll bounce some ideas around. And in no time, we'll

have something that'll make everyone in this award -winning team happy.

Okay?

Okay.

Guys, I didn't mean to suggest that my stories are more important than anyone

else's. Oh, of course not, slugger.

And Corky, when I pointed out you were the newcomer to the group, that doesn't

mean you're any less valuable.

Thanks, Jim. And I know I haven't been here as long as you and Murphy and

Where is Frank?

Oh, jeez. Is he obvious or what? Look at him, trying to get more of his stuff in

the film.

You guys just wait here. I'll handle this.

I don't want to take anything away from you. He's not the kind of guy I... Oh,

hi, guys.

Happy you're getting some coffee? Yeah, coffee's what I'm getting out of here.

Me too, here for some more coffee. Coffee, my Aunt Fanny.

If you give him what he asks for, then I expect the same.

And to begin with, I want you to put in my commentary on German reunification

and dump the footage when I was experimenting with that perm.

Well, I

can see where this is going.

And that is too bad.

Because it would have been nice if we could have worked on this together.

This being an award honoring a team.

But I guess I'll just have to do it myself.

Unless anybody has a suggestion.

Well, we could grow up, put our petty egos aside, and work together for the

common good.

Oh, you're serious.

I'd be willing by me.

Good, I need to see my weight.

I'll take notes.

First, since I seem to have gotten the most time, I'll give up my airline

story. No, wait.

My EPA scandal.

That was a masterpiece.

My Brando interview.

I'm going to give him a Brando. Okay, Frank's turn.

You've got to give up something. I really want to use my crack house piece.

come on, Frank. We already have you running out of an embassy, jumping out

airplane, and swimming through shark -infested waters.

If we're not careful, our 15 -year retrospective is going to look like a

of MacGyver.

People like action.

My stories are why a lot of people, most people, tune in to FYI. Oh!

And how many times were you honored by the Museum of Broadcast Arts before I

here, hmm?

How many?

Let's hear the number.

all know what that means.

We got this award because of me. Oh, give me a break.

So the squeaky wheel is going to get the grease. Is that how it works? A good

old Jim is supposed to politely sit back and keep quiet. It wouldn't be right to

blow my own horn.

Well, I'm the one who holds this show together, and I'd like to see any of you

last two minutes without me.

Blow, blow, blow.

I want my expose on black market Barbie dolls in, and I want it in now.

Let me say again how thrilled we are to have you with us at the Museum of

Broadcast Arts, or MOBA as we like to call it.

Thank you, Mr. Milliken. I don't mean to gush. Oh, what the heck?

I'm gushing.

I've been a fan of your show ever since it premiered. September 21st, 1977.

Wow. You remember the exact date. Amazing, huh, guys? Amazing, right? I'll

forget it.

Nine o 'clock, eight central. You had your premiere right after the short

-lived, but in my opinion, vastly underrated Mulligan Stew.

Starring Lawrence Pressman as Mike Mulligan, Eleanor Donahue as his wife

and Julie Ann Haddock as...

I can see you're a true fan of television, isn't he, guys?

If I could impose, I know you're asked all the time, but I would love a picture

of all of you.

Please, no imposition at all. Guys?

Just press that button right there.

Now, in just a few minutes, you'll hear me introduce you through this speaker.

Then it's out the door, into the auditorium, and our evening shall begin.

Oh, is this great or what?

Staying at the plaza?

A stretch limo to take us to our own MOBA night?

With our own MOBA hors d 'oeuvres?

Big crowd.

Mobile crowd.

These people love us.

Jim, are you still hungry? I didn't think that was possible after all those

peanuts you ate on the plane. Let's see. You had yours.

Then you took mine while I was sleeping.

Then you took my replacement bag when I went to get a magazine. My other

replacement bag while I was... Oh, please, Frank. I am so sick of hearing

you and your lousy peanuts envy. It's the most... Please, let's not do this.

Sure, our week wasn't without its little ups and downs. But let's just...

Put that all behind us and enjoy this night. What do you say?

Thanks a lot.

Thanks for leaving without me.

I waited in the oyster bar for half an hour.

And then I tried to get a cab. But you can't get a cab in Manhattan on Saturday

night. So I...

In the oyster bar. I mean, we all met in the lobby.

When you didn't show, we figured you came over on your own.

Jim told me we were meeting at the oyster bar.

I didn't know.

You must have misunderstood.

You're probably right, Jim.

Somebody as new to journalism as I am couldn't possibly know the difference

between the place where you pick up your hotel key and the place where you suck

down raw seafood.

Remember the time we all went to that Mexican restaurant in Virginia and made

our own tortillas? That was fun, wasn't it?

The smallest dressing room. What do I have to do to get a little respect

here? You can't wait for what you want, Corky. You have to take it.

I thought you would have learned that after four and a half years of working

with Murphy.

You want some of your rare time? Take it. You want somebody else's story? Take

it. What?

I never took a story from you. Take, take, take. You're a taker.

Lord, you people are behaving like children.

You're journalists. Where's your sense of decorum?

What would you think if you heard Ed Murrow or Chet Huntley squabbling over a

bag of nuts?

I guess I'd be surprised, Jim.

Because they're dead!

Dead, Jim! Look around!

It's the 90s! Am I the only one who's tired of hearing story after story about

the old days? She's right! Shut up!

stroking your egos and babying you?

Who ran all over town looking for desk chairs with adjustable lumbar support?

Me.

Who always has to tip the luggage guys?

Me.

And everywhere we go, people know it.

They look at me and what do they see?

Kevin Boy.

I'm the executive producer, a highly educated professional, the heart and

I think they're introducing us. We're delighted to have the members of the

here tonight with us.

Won't you join me in welcoming one of television's most respected and

news anchors for over 15 years.

Ladies and gentlemen, for once, I, Miles Silverberg, am going first.

Back off.

And here they are. Murphy Brown.

Jim Dial.

Frank Fontana.

Corky Sherwood -Porris.

I know our audience is champing at the bit to ask questions, so let's get to

I see a member of our board, Mary Van Heusen, has a question. Mary.

Yes.

Since this award has been given to you as a team, I was curious to know, how do

you choose your stories each week so that they complement each other?

Why don't I just jump in and handle this one?

Well, Mary.

May I call you Mary?

I remember when I was doing a story on the SNL scandal. If you'll remember,

Murph, that was originally supposed to be my story, but then it kind of

to Murphy. And as you know, Frank, that was the same week my piece on religious

cults aired.

And interestingly enough, we got more mail on that than on Murphy's SNL story.

Yes, quite a bit of work, Corky. And thanks to Corky's unique reporting

our mail ran about 70 % pro -cult.

That about wraps up our 1986 FYI season. Now, the 1987 season, and I believe

that this is the year to which your question pertains.

I'm sorry, what was your question again? We don't know how many cameras we use

on the show. Three.

Right, three.

Next question.

I feel we've been taking advantage of Miss Brown.

Perhaps someone else would like to jump in on the next question? By all means. I

feel like I've been talking all night.

I wonder why.

I see another question.

Yes, Mr. Dial.

In all the time you've been a reporter, have you ever had to put your life in

danger to get a story?

There is one time that comes to mind.

I was still working in radio.

And it was sent to Kentucky because they've been having a lot of... Oh, your

flood story, this is great.

Jim is sent to Kentucky because they've been having record rains and the Ohio

River is going to flood.

So he arrives in the middle of the night. The motels are evacuated. So he

his car and goes to sleep.

He wakes up the next morning and realizes he has parked his car less than

feet from the river.

It's pouring rain and the river has risen to the doors of the car.

The car won't start. The river is rising. So Jim ends up doing his report

the roof of the... Well, you tell it, Jim.

Car.

I did the report from the roof of the car. That's the story.

Every time I hear it, it gets better. No one tells a story like you, Jim.

What's it like being the youngest member of FYI? That's a very interesting

question.

Well, you have to remember, the first time I saw these people on FYI, I was

still in pigtails and knee socks.

See, back in Louisiana, I used to watch FYI all the time.

Except when her pa and her were whittling and hunting for possums.

Well, thank you for those interesting insights.

I realize we still haven't heard from the executive producer tonight.

How about a question for Miles Silverberg?

Anyone?

Anyone at all?

While Miles is waiting for a question, why don't I take you inside my world?

The world of an investigative reporter.

A world where the danger is actually... Frank,

although that's very interesting, it sounds like it may take a while, and I

have a question coming.

Do I see any hands up?

Nope. I'll never forget.

The first time I went undercover, it was right here in New York City. I had

gotten a tip on a car theft ring. I will never forget the feeling of walking

into that warehouse.

I had a pain in my stomach. I could barely make my legs. Damn microphone!

Perhaps this would be a good time to take a look at our FYI retrospective. So

let's roll the tape. In the booth, please.

Good job telling my story, Murphy. You couldn't have butchered it any worse if

you told it in Portuguese.

Well, the audience wasn't going to sit here until Wednesday while you told it.

The way you were talking, I'm lucky I got to say anything at all. Oh, yeah,

really bought that tender story of your early days at FYI. Shh!

How much longer do you think you can pass yourself off as some cute little

schoolgirl? As long as I'm working with you!

For the past 15 years, America has looked to the expertly written and

hour to inform and entertain.

Particularly remarkable is the way in which the reporters' diverse styles

balance and blend seamlessly.

Murphy Brown commented on their chemistry earlier this year in an

Barbara Walters.

Television shows don't last forever.

I know one day I'll go on to a new job working with new people.

But nothing will ever match my years on FYI.

We're blessed with that rare combination of professionalism and friendship.

And when it's time to move on...

i'm really going to miss it we all will

how come murphy got interviewed and none of us did

We're going to start our story meeting a little early today.

Come on. Don't be shy.

Jim, there's a nice seat.

Franco, why don't you take this one?

Murphy, Corky, join us, won't you?

All right.

Now, first of all, I think it would be a nice gesture if we all chipped in to

pay for the torn video screen at the museum.

Second, you'll be happy to know that Mr. Milliken is resting comfortably and

will be back on solid foods by the end of the week.

So, there's some good news.

So, the question then seems to be, where do we go from here?

We have four very strong -willed people with four very healthy egos who I

believe would like to apologize to each other and desperately want life to get

back to normal.

Everyone's afraid to go first and risk the chance of rejection. Am I right?

I think I am.

So, here's my idea.

Anyone who would like to apologize for their behavior, scratch your chin.

On three.

One, two...

If you would like to accept these eloquent apologies, knock on the table.

And finally, anyone who would like to promise that in the future they will

the wisdom of the executive producer, rub your tummies while you're... Okay,

far.

One last thing.

In this box is our lovely award.

to have a piece.

Take it proudly, but carefully.

There's some jagged edges.

And, uh, I just want you all to remember that no matter what happened, we're

still the best damn news team in the business.

Team.

Team.

Jeez,

Murph, you took the biggest piece.

Only moms in America. Only one is the funniest.

I'm the single mom.

And, uh, what? Shut up. You're so hot. How could that be?

Who will it be?

Watch Nick at Night Search for the funniest mom in America.