Original subtitles

Okay, it's five to ten people still. Plenty of time to get in on the Murphy

Brown pregnancy poll.

How many donuts will she eat today? Plenty of good numbers left.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Senior Riker. Senior Riker coming through.

I'd like to bet two dollars on three donuts.

That was Wobby. She'll be here any second. Oh, that's final.

Morning, everybody.

Oh, hello, Murphy. Hey, Murphy.

Ooh, donuts.

her put the squeeze on you.

Nice pool, Frank. Much classier than yesterday's how many times was your pee.

Go, people!

Glass table! Morning meeting!

Murphy, please, this is a work area, not a dessert cart.

By the way, here are your phone messages.

Thanks, Miles. What are you doing with my phone messages? Where's my secretary?

In jail.

What? She was selling uninspected meat out of the back of her car.

Thank you for giving me all your attention. Barbara Walters called. She

to give her Boris Yeltsin's private phone number. What planet is she on?

I need your full attention because we're approaching a critical time in the

broadcast. Can you believe this?

The dry cleaner lost my black Aberdeen slacks. See you in court, pal.

Critical time because the November sweeps is... My mother's lawyer called

important. Why would he be calling me?

I better find out.

I'm stunned.

Did you see that?

ignores me.

Like I'm invisible.

I'm the Jewish Claude Rains.

Could she do this sort of thing to the last guy who ran the show, or do I just

have the word victim written on my forehead?

The second one.

It's kind of nice, though. It balances the kick -me -thun on your butt.

Don't listen to them, Miles.

At times it may seem otherwise, but I'm sure Murphy really cares about you.

Could you tell I was lying?

decided to help us put our little news show on this week? Or are you just

another pastry run?

Miles, I'd like to be excused from the meeting.

Oh, really? And what brilliant excuse have you come up with this time? The dog

at your homework?

Your report card fell in a puddle.

My mother died.

Oh, dear Lord Murphy.

This is unbelievable.

How did it happen, do you know?

It was this morning.

Her heart gave out on her.

Just like that.

Where was she?

At home.

Was there anyone with her?

Yes. She was with Mr. Yamakawa, the gardener.

Oh, well, that's good.

At least she wasn't alone.

No, she wasn't.

She was with Mr.

Yamakawa.

Oh.

Can you believe that?

My 65 -year -old mother was having an affair with her 70 -year -old gardener.

What an amazing woman.

Full of life, right to the very end.

Murphy, I want you to take all the time you need to get through this.

We'll all cover for you.

And if there's anything you need, anything at all. That's okay.

I don't need any help. I'll be all right.

I just need to make a few calls.

Some arrangements.

Eldon, I'll be back soon.

So, has anyone actually seen Murphy since this morning? Do we know how she's

holding up? She's been locked in her office the entire day.

I'm really worried about it.

Hey there, boys and girls.

It's Murphy time.

Phil, drinks for everyone in the bar. Dinner, too, for that matter. It's on

What? Why so depressed?

Neil Diamond release a new album?

Okay, Murphy, honey, this is a perfectly normal reaction to tragedy.

I remember when my Uncle Grady died. For days, the whole family walked around

like it didn't bother them.

And actually, it didn't bother him.

We all hated Uncle Grady.

But that's not the point. The point is you're hiding your real feelings of

remorse. And that's not too healthy.

Bill, I'm not hiding anything.

My mother wouldn't want me to cry.

In the last year, we took care of a lot of unfinished business. In fact, it was

the best year we ever had. And besides, this came by special delivery today.

It's a letter from my mother.

In the event of her death, she left instructions with her lawyer to have it

delivered to me.

Listen to this, everybody.

My dearest Murphy.

Well, I don't know how I died, but I hope it was quick, a little scandalous,

that everyone in town is talking about me. The following is a list of

instructions for my funeral.

Number one.

You are not to cry. Not a single tear. It's not the brown style.

Is that something she's still telling me what to do?

Secondly, make sure I'm dressed well. I'd like to wear my red suit, my black

fedora with the ostrich bloom, and my emerald brooch because it cost your

a fortune and I know it'll kill him to see me buried.

And then she ends it like this.

Well, Murphy... I have no idea where I am right now, but I'm sure it will be

fine as long as they have room service.

I also don't know if it's allowed, but if I can, I promise I'll come and visit

you one last time before the night is over.

Look for me.

Much love, Mother.

Is this woman a rarity or what?

Now I ask you, is this the kind of person that would want people sitting

a bar crying into their beers?

It certainly doesn't seem that way, Slugger. Maybe you're right. Maybe we

celebrate her spirit.

Absolutely. That's the way it's always been done in my family.

I'd like to make a toast.

All rise.

To Avery Brown.

One hell of a broad.

Here, here.

To Avery Brown.

Well, hey there. It's Murphy's father.

Just in time. Grab a brewski, put on your party face, and let's all have a

time. What the hell's the matter with you, Solberg? A woman just died.

I know, sir.

I think I'll join her.

Dad. Ah, there's my Susie Q.

How you holding up, kid?

I'm doing fine, Dad. Why are you here?

Well, I heard the terrible news this morning.

So I grabbed the first plane out of Chicago so I could be here with you.

I thought that we could spend the night here and then drive up to Philadelphia

together for the funeral.

Gee, Dad, isn't this a little out of character?

It's been two years since we've seen each other, and in that time, you've

me twice and written to me once.

I thought things were going to change between us. I got in a little over my

head, Murphy. You know, running a newspaper, a new wife, a new child.

know how it can get. But the point is that this is the last time that the

of us can be together as a family.

Oh, nice family. You, me, and a dead person. We're a regular Norman Rockwell

painting.

You know, Dad, I really hadn't planned on having company tonight.

Oh, well, okay.

Sure, if that's the way you want it, I guess I can stay in a hotel.

Um,

since you went to all the trouble of coming here, I... Oh, that's my Susie Q.

Well, what do you say we hit the road, huh?

You know, I thought it might be nice if we could spend the night tonight

reminiscing about the good times.

Dad, there weren't any good times.

Well, that's not true. I mean, I can name at least a dozen right off the top

my head.

Well, maybe not a dozen, uh, eight.

Five? Well, actually, it's not good to dwell on the past.

Ed, no gas station in Washington will break a 50 after 8 o 'clock.

You didn't have to go after the attendant with a squeegee.

Melvin, hi.

Hi.

I feel so bad.

Mom's gone.

Melvin, I know, but we can't cry.

She said she didn't want that.

Is he still here? Why is he still here?

Hello, Mr. Brown.

Eldon, what's in this trunk?

I don't know. It came a few hours ago.

Look who it's from.

It's from... Mother.

First the letter, now this?

What are you talking about? What letter?

Oh, here. I don't think she'd mind if you read it.

And now this trunk.

I think she's in there. What?

help but thinking, right, she's playing this big practical joke on us, and when

we open this trunk, she's going to pop right out of there and surprise us all.

Although I don't see any air holes.

Oh, I must be in some deep state of denial.

Why is he still here?

Oh, then look, maybe it would be better if you went home and got some rest.

I'm sure tomorrow things will seem better.

I'm going to go to the painter's bar, and I'm going to have a cappuccino in

honor.

Then I'm going to take my pants off and drive around town.

What?

Why?

It's something we do in the Bernanke family when a loved one dies. Now, we

know why. I think there was some kind of miscommunication.

But anyway, no one wants to be the first one to break tradition, you know, so

we're stuck with it.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Good night, Elvin.

Okay, here I go.

This letter is unbelievable.

The woman has actually found a way to reach out from the grave and still get

people. How about that bit at the end about coming back for a visit? Is that

great? Well, I'll tell you something.

If anybody could figure out how to haunt people, she could.

Yeah, she's one who could do it all right.

Yes, she is definitely the one.

want to open it?

Well, we might as well get it over with.

Or we could call it a night.

Good idea.

Mother?

Are you asleep? No.

I heard a noise. When?

Before. Was it a thunk, thunk, thunk kind of noise? No, it was a ping, ping,

ping kind of noise. Ping, ping, ping? I didn't hear that. Ping, ping, ping.

Like a claw drain pipe. Water rising?

And then it makes that ping, ping, ping noise?

I guess that's what it must have been, yeah.

Murphy, I know why we're having trouble sleeping. It's because of that damn

trunk downstairs.

It's time to open it. I guess you're right.

Let's just get it over with. What's the big deal?

Stop that. I hate that.

There it goes.

You know, it's a funny thing.

I always thought that I'd be the first to go.

Oh, Dad.

Yeah, I was sure she'd figure out some way to kill me.

Could you give me a hand here? Oh, yeah, sure, sure.

Look at this.

It's just a bunch of old stuff from the attic.

What the heck is this? That's my putter.

That's my favorite putter.

I swear I spent the past 20 years looking everywhere for this damn thing.

What does this say?

Murphy. This is your father's favorite putter. He spent the last 20 years

looking for the damn thing.

I stole it from him after Thanksgiving 1963.

He got drunk, put my hat and shoes on the turkey, and introduced it to the

family as my sister from out of town.

So I'm passing the putter on to you, Murphy.

Hide it well.

The honor of the brown women depends on it. Oh, no, you don't agree.

No, no, this is mine. I'll just take that. Thank you very much.

This damn storm is going to blow out of here.

Oh, look at this.

The old photo album.

Oh, boy, now we're talking.

I tell you, Murphy, we had some wonderful good times, the three of us,

they're all documented right here in this book.

Okay, but any photographs of me in that home perm go straight into the

fireplace.

What's that?

That's what's at the Fourth of July at our house at the shore.

What's that hole?

I think that's where I was.

Look, you can see my shadow right there. She cut me out of this picture.

What the hell?

Look, here's our 1953 brand -new Oldsmobile. There's me, there's Mom, and

there's another old mess.

She's cut me out of all of these pictures.

That woman has defaced our family history.

Well, there's got to be some evidence of me in here somewhere.

Somewhere. Uh -huh, there. See that spruce tree?

That's Christmas 1956.

I cut that spruce tree down myself. Yeah, right out of the Hennessy's front

yard. They came over on Christmas Eve and took it back.

God, look at the negative side.

Murphy, you were always very, very tough.

You refused to believe in Santa Claus because you'd never heard the reindeer

the roof. So that night, I got the ladder and I climbed up on the roof and

stomped all over your bed.

I knew it was you, Dad. You did not. I did, too.

Reindeer don't whinny and have a smoker's cough.

You know, I actually thought that year we were going to have a good Christmas

until I looked out the window and saw Mother taking your ladder away. God,

you must have been stuck up on that roof half the night.

It's a couple of hours.

Until I lost my footing.

It's a good thing that that gardener planted those hedges down there. Mr.

Yamakawa.

Whatever happened to him?

Still enjoying his work, from what I hear.

You know, Dad, it was that Christmas Eve that I became a good journalist.

Because I decided I should never believe in anything I couldn't see. Oh, come

on!

Oh, look at this!

That's the old Indian blanket.

Oh, boy.

Does this bring back memories.

Great. Remember that night in the summer we camped out together in the backyard?

We got two broomsticks and this blanket. Oh, and I made a teepee.

Dad, I went in the garage and got the flashlight, and then we sat in the tent

and we told ghost stories all night long.

Oh, Dad, it was so great.

That's really the kind of thing you wish you could relive.

And every night, whenever a full moon shines over the light, you can hear the

wind.

Or is it really a voice?

What is that on my kid's face? A smile?

Okay. I guess things weren't really as bad as they seemed.

You know, I always wondered, what made a guy who always seemed so busy for this

kind of stuff decide to build that wonderful little teepee for his daughter

the backyard?

Oh, well, no.

Actually...

Your mother threw me out of the house that night and I didn't have any place

sleep.

Oh, jeez.

Oh, jeez. This is unbelievable.

We were this close to being a real family.

This close.

What else are you going to tell me? I suppose that time you took that splinter

out of my knee, you were only doing it because you needed the wood.

Well, I tried, Murphy.

I tried, but I... I guess...

I'll just have to throw in the towel on this one.

You can't make up for all the lost time in one night, Dad.

Baby Barnet.

David.

If you didn't want me to cry, why did you send me all this stuff?

How could you do this to me, Mother?

Oh, Dad.

You were never there when I needed you.

And it's too late.

Wait a minute.

How long are you going to go on punishing me for the past?

When are you going to drop all this baggage and get on with things?

Are you putting this on me?

Where have you been for the last two years?

I'll tell you where.

With your 30 -year -old wife and your year -old son.

Well, it's all very nice.

Except you forgot the part of your life that lives here in Washington.

What kind of bull is this?

This is not the way I taught you to look at a story.

There's two sides to everything and you're going to hear mine.

You think you don't have a father.

Well, I think I don't have a daughter.

You didn't show up at my wedding.

You didn't call the day my son was born.

How do you think that...

Make me feel.

I don't know. Well, I'll tell you.

Lousy.

Like you didn't care.

And to tell you the truth, I don't think you did.

I didn't want you to get married again.

I wanted you to be with Mother.

She really loved you.

And I really loved her. I still do.

But, honey, we couldn't live together.

I felt that I deserved some kind of a life.

But you couldn't accept that.

I didn't think it mattered. Oh, it matters. It matters more than anything.

Especially now.

A grandchild is coming.

I want that child to know who...

Bill Brown is.

Warts and all.

Will you let me?

Oh.

Okay. Okay.

Okay, you're choking me.

Sorry about that.

I don't think I've seriously hugged anyone since Nixon resigned.

Boy, this has been some day, hasn't it?

What time is it?

Well, it's a little after midnight.

Well, I guess Mother's not coming after all. Oh, I don't know. I think she just

did.

What do you say we call it a night?

Good idea.

Do you mind if I take the Indian blanket?

Why, it's yours, of course.

By the way, where's my putter?

Gee, I don't know.

Murphy Brown, I am your father.

People say Murphy Brown captured the 90s zeitgeist. What does that mean to you?

That means a lot. Look, we tapped into something. No, no, I'm sorry. The word

zeitgeist. Do you have any idea what it means?

Oh, no, not at all.