Original subtitles

- Previously on "Awkward"...

- I'’m transferring to Wycoff.

- I don'’t know if I want you here.

I slept with Luke last night.

- You know how this story ends.

- I like him.

- Can we have this convo later?

- Maybe I just had to accept

that we'’d both gone in different directions.

I think we should try again. - Me too.

- I was worried getting back together with an ex

would feel very "been there, dated that,"

but with Luke, everything felt so exciting

and brand-new.

Maybe because for the first time

I wasn'’t thinking about Matty.

- Okay, time for an intermission.

We'’re late for work.

- Work, right.

I knew there was a reason we were just standing here.

- [clears throat]

- ♪ Maybe I shouldn'’t feel this way ♪

- Hey, hons.

Why are you so 2000-and-late this morning?

- We got a little, uh, distracted.

- Talking about article ideas, just spitballing.

Lost track of time.

- God bless you nerds.

- Spitballing.

- What?

- Why didn'’t you just tell him the truth?

What, you don'’t want him to find out you'’re into girls?

- Look, Jenna, no one can know we like each other.

- Suddenly my relationship with Luke was feeling less brand-new

and more like a bad case of sophomore year déjà vu.

[typing]

What do you mean, no one can know we like each other?

Are you, like, embarrassed of me or something?

- Jenna. - No, you know what.

I have been kept a secret before.

I know how this goes, and I am not interested.

- Whoa, slow down.

I'’m not embarrassed of you, okay?

I just want to make sure you get taken seriously here.

You were the one who didn'’t want people to think

you got this job because of me, remember?

I'’m a second year editorial fellow,

which means technically I'’m your superior.

If people see us dating, they might think

you'’re getting some kind of special treatment.

- Oh, I guess that makes sense.

- You'’re just starting out here.

You haven'’t even gotten anything published yet.

- Well, it'’s not for lack of trying.

I'’m constantly submitting pieces,

and they keep getting rejected.

- Last year, it took me nearly the entire summer

to get something published on the site.

Just be patient, and it will happen.

This is gonna be the best thing for both of us, I promise.

Plus, we'’ll get to hide from our bosses

and meet up in random places around the office.

Being a secret is gonna be hot.

- Luke'’s reason for keeping us

in the couple'’s closet made sense,

but was he really telling me the complete truth?

- Hey.

- '’Sup, Jenna? - Hey, guys.

How was everyone'’s weekend? - So good.

Ethan and I went paddleboating around the marina,

and then we flew kites in the park.

It was a little twee overload,

but sometimes you just have to reconnect

with your inner child, you know?

- You guys have been spending

a lot more time together recently.

Are you getting him to reconsider

his position on girls?

- I decided that I would wait on that

until summer was over.

I mean, he is my coworker,

and even I have some professional boundaries.

- Wow, if the person who talks openly

about being sexually attracted to her cousin

won'’t discuss hooking up with a coworker,

maybe this office romance stuff really was taboo.

- All right, listen up, people.

It'’s time for morning announcements.

Traffic is on fire right now

thanks to Ophelia'’s beautiful piece

on how unattractive her breasts are.

Now, we need to keep momentum going, so this week

when you are pitching your article ideas to Ethan,

I want you to be thinking big and viral.

- Just make sure it'’s something

that people are gonna be obsessed with.

- Oh, Jenna, that reminds me,

I just finished reading your piece

on growing up in the age of social media.

I felt like you were trying a little too hard

to sound like a sophisticated know-it-all.

Next time, I want you to just write in your natural voice,

even if it sounds a little unpolished.

- Okay.

- Now, moving on to even more exciting news.

Ever since traffic exploded,

advertisers have been clamoring to buy space on the site,

which means that we need an ad sales intern ASAP.

So if you know anyone who likes working on commission,

is driven, type-A,

and persistent to the point of being annoying,

please, send them my way.

- Hmm, I knew someone who fit that description to a T.

- OMG! I got the job!

- Yay! I knew you would.

And we'’ll get to work together, which is great

'’cause I feel like I haven'’t seen you that much.

- I know, I'’m sorry. I'’m totes going to BFF jail.

But that all changes after today.

Ah, I will see you tomorrow at our place of employment.

Ahh!

- In some ways,

Idea Bin felt less like a workplace

and more like a high school cafeteria.

But now that I had Tamara,

maybe things would all fall into place.

The only question was:

Could I really handle being a secret again?

I guess there was only one way to find out.

[indistinct whispering]

- Oh, yes, Matty, over here.

Can you move? My friend wants to sit next to me.

Thank you.

- Hey, Mrs. Hamilton.

- Oh, come on, Matty. Call me Lacey.

What are you doing here?

I didn'’t know you were in summer school.

- Yeah, I, uh-- I had a rough semester.

- Oh, did you have a baby?

- No.

- Well, then mine was rougher.

Guten Tag,class.

Welcome to Intro to German.

First thing I want you to do

is look at the person seated next to you

and shake their hand.

[indistinct chatter]

This will be your conversation partner

for the next eight weeks.

- Oh, boo-ya, everybody!

I got the best partner.

This is gonna be so much fun!

- Good. Okay.

- You are so freaking hot.

The girls I meet on Flinger

usually turn out to be kinda busted,

but you are even better than your profile pics.

- Duh, you made a great decision when you swiped right.

- Man, I cannot believe that you chose this place

for our first date.

You are so low-maintenance, I love it.

- Next in line. Oh.

What are you doing here, Sadita?

- Hey, Sergio. God, I totally forgot you worked here.

- Uh, my name'’s on the food truck.

- Must'’ve slipped my mind.

Anyway, can we have two chicken tamales, no forks.

He likes to feed it to me.

- Two chicken tamales, por favor.

- You got it, papi.

- Hey, so you want to go to your place after this for dessert?

I'’ll feed it to you.

- I think I just lost my appetite

for the next 10,000 years.

- Whoa, you were just all over me.

- Yeah, and now I'’m just over you.

Buh-bye!

- I'’m so nervous, Jenna.

I bought this chic Isabel Marant blazer yesterday,

and I still feel like a young unprofessional.

Got any workplace survival tips for me?

I want all the 411.

- Actually, there is one thing.

Try not to take it personally

if my coworkers act a little rude.

They'’re like that with everyone.

I mean, they still haven'’t even invited me

out to lunch with them yet.

- Babe, I am luh-huving your hair journey.

- And your outfit. Very young professional.

- OMG. Thanks, you guys.

- Where did you come from?

- Well, this is Tamara, my best friend

and the new ad sales intern.

- Cute. Hey, do you want to have lunch with me and Oaf later?

- That would be awesome.

God, Jenna was just telling me

how some of her coworkers are so rude,

they haven'’t even invited her to lunch.

Can you believe it? What A-holes.

- Oh, my God, that'’s so terrible.

Who are these A-holes,Jenna?

- The secret was out

that I thought my coworkers were jerks,

but I couldn'’t let that or the fact

that I was secretly making out with my boyfriend bother me.

- I know, Rhonda,

but we will talk all about it on Tuesday at drinks.

LYLAS!

OMG, you guys, she just bought so much ad space,

and all I had to do was make fake plans to have drinks.

[laughter]

- T, I have literal R.L. Stine goose bumps right now.

That was amazing.

- You know, watching you hustle

reminds me of this awesome woman I know.

It'’s me.

- Hey, everyone. Sorry I'’m late.

Luke, and I got caught up with some super serious

and work-related stuff.

- Oh, hey, Jenna. Can I make another phone call?

It'’s so much fun pretending to care

about other people'’s lives.

- Of course! Live your truth, you know?

- Getting ignored by the cool kids,

I was used to that from high school,

but having my best friend be one of the cool kids

was a cruel new twist.

- Excuse me, can I order a drink?

- I'’m not a bartender.

- Do you mind watching little Jackson? I have a tennis lesson.

- Sorry, not a manny. - Jake, I need an outlet.

If my phone dies, I die.

- Sadie, you'’ve been looking at that phone all day.

What are you even doing on there?

- Setting up dates on Flinger,

and it'’s real slim pickins today.

- Why are you trying to go on so many dates?

Hey! I'’m not the pool boy.

I'’m a freakin'’ manager.

Doesn'’t anyone respect me around here?

- I'’m trying to make Sergio jealous, duh!

And I'’ve taken, like, half the guys from Flinger

to his food truck, and for whatever reason

he doesn'’t seem to give a [bleep].

- Well, if you really want him to care,

you have to make him think you'’re in a relationship.

He'’s not gonna believe that about some rando online.

- Jake.

You like tamales, right?

- [sighs]

- Oh, Matty! Hey, Matty!

Oh, it'’s just heels. Matty, wait.

Hold on one sec.

- Hey, sorry, I'’m kind of in a hurry.

What'’s up?

- Look, I know why you'’ve been ignoring me.

If you want a conversation partner who'’s your own age,

who you can talk to about yodel or YOLO

or whatever it'’s called, it'’s fine.

I--I understand.

- What? No, that'’s not it.

Uh, come on. You'’re not even that old.

- Oh. Thanks. I think.

- It'’s just that I feel kinda weird around you

because of what happened with me and Jenna.

- Yeah.

Yeah, she told me all about the breakup.

- She did?

- How she felt like she was holding you back,

and you were scared to say anything about it.

Sounds pretty intense.

- Okay, guys, before we dive into your pitches,

I want to give a major congrats to my babe, Oaf.

Her recent article has over a million Facebook shares.

So who'’s got the next million-shares post for me?

Huh? - I'’ve got something.

What about a listicle called

"The Five Books That Will Change Your Life"?

I could do a little write-up

on "The History of Sexuality" by Foucault.

- Foucault? Fou-no, babe!

Newsflash, Middle America doesn'’t even know who that is.

I mean, the only people that read him

are snoozy liberal arts girls, ha.

No offense. - A little taken.

- Anyone else? - Well, I had this idea--

- Hey, you guys, don'’t be mad,

but no one can listen to vinyl anymore.

'’Cause I freaking broke all the sales records.

- Um, T, did you check the weather forecast today?

Because it says to expect some heavy compliment showers.

- Oh, thank G, I'’m always dressed for compliments.

Go. - You'’re amazing.

- Stop. - My obsession.

- No.

- Checking into rehab '’cause I'’m addicted to you.

- Love. - I actually have an idea.

- Hold that thought.

We all know there'’s a lot of talent here at Idea Bin.

I mean, Max of course.

Mia, your recent essay examining racism in the movie "Clueless"

has got some serious potential.

Luke, your think pieces always give our site

more street cred.

And, Jenna, you are here every day.

But there is someone in this room

with a singular voice

that I literally cannot get enough of.

Tamara, I am reserving a spot for you on the home page

for an essay due from you tomorrow morning.

- Ah!

- OMG. "Tamara" morning.

- Oh - Ah!

- Stop! Stop. - Stop it.

- I suddenly felt a strong urge

to call in sick "Tamara" morning.

- Ow. - Sorry. Are you hurt?

- It'’s fine. - Okay.

- Okay, you know what, I can'’t do this.

- [sighs] What'’s wrong?

- What'’s wrong is that I'’m 19 years old

and having a secret hook-up with the guy I like

in a utility closet.

What'’s wrong is that everybody hates me,

and the one person who'’s supposed

to make me feel betterabout it

is too busy palling around with the popular kids

and getting published to even hang out with me.

- Jenna, I told you, I'’m not keeping us a secret

because I'’m embarrassed by you.

- All right, I'’m sorry.

Guess I just have a little PTSD.

- It'’s all right. I get it.

And I also get how you feel about Tamara.

Just talk to her about it, okay?

You'’ll feel better when you get some clarity.

- Oh, for a secret boyfriend, you sure are supportive.

- Uh, so you'’re making jokes.

Does that mean everything'’s better between us?

- Yeah. - Good.

- And this time, I meant it.

- So the deal is 50 bucks plus unlimited tamales,

and I have to be back at work at 5:30.

Apparently I'’m the only one at the country club

who can refill a canister of napkins.

- Whatever, just come on.

- Sergio, isn'’t that your ex girl?

- I ain'’t worried about it, mama.

Long time no see, Sadita.

What can I get you guys?

- What are you in the mood for, babe?

I know you usually like cheese tamales,

but what if we went with beef?

- Oh, that'’s a great idea, my sweet rose.

Ten beef tamales with onions.

- So you guys are dating now, huh?

- Yeah, we'’ve been friends for so long,

and one thing led to another and...

[giggles]

- Well, that'’s awesome.

Step this way. We gotta get you on the Wall of Lovers.

Come on.

Yeah.

Say "lovers forever and ever."

- Mwah!

- Oh.

- [sighs]

- Hey, T, you have a second?

- Sure. What'’s up?

- So you'’re writing an article now.

That'’s so crazy.

I didn'’t even know you liked to write.

- I don'’t really, but I like to talk,

and it'’s sort of the same thing, right?

- Not exactly.

Writing is actually way more difficult than talking.

- I'’m sure it can'’t be that hard.

G2G, I'’m meeting up with Ethan and Ophelia

for happy hour.

- Happy hour?

Okay, we need to talk. - About what?

- About how you'’ve been acting like a total jerk to me

ever since you got back from New York.

You'’re sharing all these inside jokes with Sadie.

You dress totally different, and now you'’re buddying up

to Ethan and Ophelia and leaving me out?

It'’s like you think you'’re too good for me now.

- Ugh, I'’m too good for you?

Please, Jenna, you'’ve turned into a total snob.

I'’m sorry that I didn'’t spend the first year of college

sitting around reading pretentious books

with my super smart friends.

I like clothes and going out and having fun.

So sue me.

- I guess things have changed,

and we'’re just different people now.

- Guess so.

- I can'’t believe your pathetic excuse for a kiss.

- Me? You weren'’t exactly bringing the heat.

- Well, who orders ten tamales with onions on a date?

Now Sergio definitely knows we'’re faking.

- I don'’t get why you'’re trying so hard to make him jealous.

You never had trouble moving on with any other guys.

- I wanna win the breakup,

and I thought if any of my friends could make him jealous,

then it'’d be you.

- Why me? - What are you doing, mijo?

I thought you weren'’t worried about Sadie and that guero.

- I'’m not.

I know she'’s just trying to make me jealous.

I guess I just miss fighting with her.

- Come on, let'’s hug.

- Ew. Really?

- I'’m gonna do something, but you gotta promise

not to punch me in the balls.

- And I miss the making up even more.

- [chuckles]

- Guten Tag,Matty.

Ich...something, something Lacey.

- Guten Tag, Lacey.

"Don-kay"? "Don-key"?

How do you say, "This is bull[bleep]" in German?

- Jenna'’s not coming home soon, is she?

- She might.

- Then I should probably get going.

- Matty, wait.

I don'’t know why you and Jenna

are giving each other the silent treatment.

I mean, I get that breakups can be terrible,

but yours just seemed, well, sad.

- Listen, uh, what Jenna told you about our breakup,

that'’s not exactly how it went down.

- Oh, my God, did someone cheat?

- No. - Did Jenna get pregnant?

- No, no, it was because I wanted to transfer to Wycoff,

and Jenna said no.

- Wycoff?

Why?

You didn'’t like Berkeley?

- Uh, not at first, no.

I know this might sound kinda lame,

but in high schoolI felt--

I don'’t know, like I was important,

and when I went to Berkeley, I just became this, like,

random dude overnight, and it kinda sucked.

- Yeah, I get it.

Small fish in a big pond.

- Yeah, I guess so, yeah.

And I thought running away and being with Jenna

would fix everything, which of course that was dumb.

And Jenna was totally right not to let me transfer,

but at the time, I was kind of a jerk about it.

And I just figured that'’s what she told you.

- Nope.

- Hmm.

Well, it'’s nice to know she'’s still got my back.

- Why don'’t you stick around and tell her that yourself?

- I don'’t think we'’re there yet.

It'’s better if I just go.

- Okay, I'’ll see you...

God, what is the German word for "tomorrow"?

- I'’ll see you later.

- Morgen.

- ♪ I'’ve been away a few years ♪

♪ None of them worth keeping ♪

♪ Don'’t think I'’m settling ♪

♪ I'’m settling to the air ♪

[vocalizing]

♪

♪ And I cannot recall

- Things at Idea Bin had gone from bad

to high school hell.

With Tamara and I on the outs

and no sign of ever getting published,

maybe it was finally time to admit

that I'’d never belong there.

[knocking at door]

- ♪ You came to light a fire ♪

♪ So that I would remember

- Jenna, you were right. We are different.

You'’re a writer, and I'’m not. This is hard.

Help.

- Listen, I'’m really sorry

about everything I said to you today,

slash everything I'’ve said to you the entire summer.

I was a total bitch witch,

and I understand if you want to revoke my BFF privileges.

- Come on.

You haven'’t been that bad.

- Yeah, I have, and I'’m really sorry.

I don'’t give a flying F

if you know fancy designers or nightclubs.

- Thanks, and I guess I don'’t care if you don'’t know

about Kathleen Hanna or read Judith Butler.

- Judith Butler. Who'’s that?

She sounds really boring.

I just want to be best friends again.

I miss you. I miss us.

- Me too.

Okay, let'’s take a look at this article of yours.

I'’m sure it can'’t be that bad.

[upbeat music]

♪

Or maybe it can.

- ♪ You see the girls

♪ They'’re the talk of the town ♪

♪ The talk of the town

♪ They are so risky

♪ To nothing

♪ Nothing

♪ Nothing

♪

♪ Is there something to say

♪ So it never sees the light ♪

♪ Just give me my things so we can... ♪

- It took all night, but Tamara and I

finally fixed her article and our friendship.

Now it didn'’t matter if I felt like

I was back in high school at Idea Bin.

As long as I had T, I could be me.

Whoa, someone'’s feeling brave today.

- I can'’t help myself.

I am so proud of you.

- What for?

- Your post.

- Don'’t our names look adorbs together?

- Totally adorbs. Thank you.

- Hons, I just read your article,

and I loved it.

T, who know you were such a natural writer?

- Oh, spoiler alert, Jenna wrote most of it.

I just ate 500 chips and paced back and forth.

- See, Jenna, I knew the second you stopped trying so hard

you'’d actually write something great.

I'’m V, V, proud of you.

In fact, hey,

you want to go to happy hour after work and celebrate?

- OMG! We would love to!

But Jenna and I are gonna do our own thing tonight.

♪

- ♪ Lift me up a bit higher

♪ I'’ve been laid down low ♪

♪ And now I'’m here ♪

♪ Without you by...

- So then I said,

"Babe, call me when you gentrify,

"because your body is a little too unsafe

for me to be walking around it at night."

I know, right?

Living out loud can cause deafness,

so bring your headphones.

Anyway, tell that story about the camp.

- You'’ve reached Jenna Hamilton.

Leave a message. [beep]

- Next on "Awkward"...

- I can offer you a couple shifts at the country club.

- I'’m in. - Fine, I'’ll do it!

- Matty probably told her all about our breakup.

I'’m gonna tell him to go call off his guard dog.

- Come on, it'’s the 4th of July!

Chill out, bitch.

- Tamara, get back to work. I'’m going to fire you.

- Jenna was in love with you when she was dating me.

- Ooh, hey, hey, hey.