Original subtitles

- PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD...

- IT'S SENIOR YEAR! - LAST RANKING?

- T, I AM 137!

- THIS IS JUST LIKE SOPHOMORE YEAR.

HE'S GETTING WHAT HE WANTS, AND YOU'RE NOT.

- ABOUT LAST NIGHT...

NOTHING HAPPENED BETWEEN ME AND MATTY.

HE JUST WANTED TO TALK. I'M PREGNANT.

AND THE STUDENT BODY HAD TURNED INTO

A THRONG OF OVER-CAFFEINATED STRUNG-OUT ZOMBIES.

THESE WERE THE LAST GRADES COLLEGES WOULD SEE.

THEY COULD MAKE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOING TO HARVARD

OR WORKING AT HOLLISTER.

- HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW SAD AND THE CITY EVA'S BEEN LOOKING?

WHAT'S THAT BISH'S BIGGEST ISH,

HOW HOT SHE AND MATTY WILL LOOK AT PROM?

- YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT PEOPLE ARE GOING THROUGH.

WHICH IS WHAT I'M TRYING TO TELL MYSELF ABOUT LUKE--

THE FACT THAT HE'S IGNORED MY APOLOGY TEXT.

- JENNA, YOU LEFT THAT DUDE OUT IN THE COLD, LITERALLY.

ON A MOUNTAIN NEXT TO A CREEPY STATUE OF A BEAR.

- WHICH IS WHY I'M DOUBLING DOWN WITH A GRAND GESTURE--

SOMETHING HE CAN'T IGNORE.

- WELL, GOOD LUCK. CALL ME AFTER.

I WANT ALL THE DEETS BY DRE.

- WITH EVERYTHING ELSE GOING ON, THE LAST THING I NEEDED

WAS TO GET SUCKED INTO ANOTHER EVA DRAMA.

BUT I HAD TO KNOW MATTY WAS OKAY.

HEY, HOW ARE YOU?

- I'M, UH, I'M OKAY.

- REALLY?

- MATTY, I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU WHO TO TALK TO,

BUT THIS IS MAKING ME REALLY UPSET.

AND THEY SAY STRESS IS BAD FOR OUR BABY.

BYE.

- HEY, LISS, YOU WANNA COME OVER AND STUDY?

- THANKS, BUT I'M GOING HOME WITH TYLER.

I MEAN, TYLER'S GIVING ME A RIDE HOME,

BECAUSE WE'RE BROTHER AND SISTER AND WE LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE.

- HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN SADIE?

- SINCE WHEN ARE YOU FRIENDS?

- THERE'S JUST SOMETHING REALLY WEIRD GOING ON

I NEED TO TALK TO HER ABOUT. - NO, THERE'S NOT.

EVERYTHING'S NORMAL.

- SADITA, ANDALE, WE HAVE TO BE AT THE ART WALK IN AN HOUR.

- HOLD ON, SERGIO.

NOT ALL OUR LIVES REVOLVE AROUND BRATWURST.

- YEAH, YOURS JUST REVOLVES AROUND BEING A BRAT--COME ON.

- SADIE, WAIT.

- WHAT, HAMILTRASH?

- I'M REALLY WORRIED ABOUT MATTY AND HE WON'T TALK TO ME, SO--

- LET ME SPELL THIS OUT FOR YOU.

THAT PSYCHO HAS HIM IN HER CLUTCHES.

THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO.

AS LONG AS SHE'S KNOCKED UP, WE'RE SHUT DOWN.

- SADIE, I AM ASKING YOU AS A FRIEND.

- EW!

WHATEVER HAPPENED ON THAT MOUNTAIN, HAMILQUEEF,

WE ARE NOT FRIENDS!

LET'S GO. [engine turns]

[splash]

- THINGS DIDN'T GO WELL WITH MATTY TODAY.

OR SADIE, BUT HOPEFULLY, THEY'D GO BETTER WITH LUKE.

- JENNA. - I KNOW I SCREWED UP

ON THE SKI TRIP, AND I AM SO, SO, SORRY.

- JENNA, YOU DON'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE.

- NO, NO, NOW THIS IS A CARE PACKAGE THAT I MADE FOR YOU.

- THAT'S REALLY SWEET.

HEY, I-- - COFFEE, AND...

OH, AND LIKE, CUTE LITTLE TOOTHBRUSH.

- JEN, I REALLY HAVE TO--

- OH, AND THERE MIGHT EVEN BE A LITTLE GIFT CERTIFICATE

FOR A NECK MASSAGE.

AND, UM, COOKIES.

- BABE, WE HAVE TO HURRY.

OH, HELLO.

BABE, IS THIS YOUR LITTLE SISTER?

- NO, SHE'S MY-- - OOH, MINT CHOCOLATE CRISPS.

GOOD LUCK TO THE TROOP.

C'MON, BABE, CONCERT STARTS IN 20 MINUTES.

LET'S GO. - I CAN TOTALLY EXPLAIN THIS.

- TELL. ME. EVERYTHING.

- IT DIDN'T GO QUITE AS PLANNED.

THERE WAS ANOTHER GIRL THERE,

AND I'VE BEEN CHECKING TWITTER

AND FACEBOOK AND VINE, AND I CAN'T FIND HER.

AND LUKE HASN'T CHANGED HIS RELATIONSHIP STATUS,

AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.

- JENNA, THIS IS FINALS. YOU NEED TO FOCUS.

- HOW CAN I FOCUS

WITH EVERYTHING THAT I'M GOING THROUGH?

- START WITH SOME CAFFEINE.

THIS IS IT JENNA, THIS IS DEFCON-TEN, OR ONE.

I CAN NEVER REMEMBER WHICH ONE IS WORSE.

[bleep] UP OR BUCK UP.

IT'S YOUR ONLY CHOICES, SO WHAT'S IT GONNA BE?

- TAMARA HAD A POINT--COLLEGES WOULDN'T CARE THAT I WAS

GRIEVING THE LOSS OF A RELATIONSHIP

OR WHAT MATTY WAS GOING THROUGH

WHEN I TOOK MY FINALS.

I NEEDED TO COMPARTMENTALIZE, AND FAST.

BUCKING IT UP AND SUCKING IT UP.

- ALL SENIORS, PLEASE REPORT TO THE AUDITORIUM IMMEDIATELY.

- I'LL LEAVE NOW.

YOU STAY HERE FOR FIVE MORE HOURS

SO NO ONE GETS SUSPICIOUS.

- HOW 'BOUT FIVE MORE MINUTES?

- DEAL!

- HELLO, LISSA.

YOU'VE BEEN ACTING WEIRD EVER SINCE THE SKI TRIP.

WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?

- NOTHING. NOTHING'S UP.

- BULL[bleep]. YOU'RE GLOWING.

[gasps] I KNEW IT!

YOU'VE BEEN MAKING OUT. YOU BIT YOUR LIP.

THAT'S YOUR TELL. WHO IS IN THAT ROOM?

- GIRLS, COME ON, ASSEMBLY, LET'S GO.

- THIS ISN'T OVER. - [amplified] THIS ISN'T OVER.

MUCH LIKE WRECKX, SENIOR YEAR IS STILL VERY MUCH IN EFFECT.

FINALS ARE TOMORROW, AND YOU ALL NEED TO FOCUS.

BUT THAT'S NOT WHY I CALLED YOU HERE.

THERE'S BEEN AN OUTBREAK OF PREGNANT.

[students murmuring]

LET'S REMEMBER SAFE SEX, PEOPLE.

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

FRENCHIES, HANDIES--

- I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE'S TELLING EVERYBODY ABOUT YOU.

- SHE DIDN'T SAY MY NAME.

- HOW DID SHE FIND OUT? THIS ISN'T COOL.

- WHO'S AUDITIONING FOR TEEN MOM 3?

- IT'S EVA! SHE'S A LIAR AND SHE TRAPPED MATTY.

EVA! EVA! EVA!

I HAVE NO IDEA.

- [gasps] IS IT YOU?

LUKE SPERMINATED THEN TERMINATED YOU?

WELL, I WILL JUST DEFER COLLEGE AND WE'LL RAISE THIS BABY

TOGETHER IN A NON-SEXUAL LIFE PARTNERSHIP.

NO OFFENSE-- YOU'RE NOT REALLY MY TYPE.

NOW, WHAT ARE WE THINKING FOR THE NURSERY?

- T, NOT KNOCKED UP,

AND EASE UP ON THE ENERGY DRINKS, OKAY?

- NO-KAY, AND THANK GOD.

- MUTIE-MASTIES, WITHDRAWAL, SIXTY--

- [whispering] - UH, CORRECTION.

WITHDRAWAL DOES NOT ACTUALLY WORK.

- YOU, YOU, WE NEED TO TALK.

- HONEY, I'M SO GLAD YOU WANNA TALK.

I'VE BEEN REALLY WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

- WHICH ONE OF YOU TOLD MS. MARKS THAT I WAS PREGNANT?

- I'M SORRY, WHO'S EVA?

OH, YOU MEAN AMBER.

WHY WOULD I WASTE MY TIME... - YES.

- TALKING TO THAT DIP[bleep] VAL

ABOUT THAT SKEEVY SLUNTBAG?

MAYBE MS. MARKS WAS TALKING ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE.

THIS SCHOOL'S FULL OF WHORES.

- HEY LISSA. - HEY.

HEY!

- YOU AND MS. MARKS ARE PRETTY TIGHT.

- MATTY, I THINK THE ONE THING YOU WOULD KNOW ABOUT ME BY NOW

IS THAT I CAN KEEP A SECRET.

- YOU PROMISE?

- REMEMBER HOW LONG I KEPT US A SECRET?

- THANK YOU.

- YEAH.

I PROMISE.

- MY STATS BOOK HAS TO BE HERE SOMEWHERE.

- DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW.

SO, I GUESS YOU'RE NOT ATTRACTED TO ME NOW THAT I'M PREGNANT?

- IT'S NOT THAT.

IT'S JUST MY MOM'S RIGHT DOWN THE HALL.

- NO, NO, I GET IT.

I'M ALL USED UP NOW AND I'M GONNA GET FAT--

- OH, HEY, COME ON.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

[knocking]

- MRS. MCKIBBEN.

- EVA, HI. - HI.

- IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU.

MATTY, HAVE YOU SEEN MY DIAMOND SNOWFLAKE EARRINGS?

I CAN'T FIND THEM ANYWHERE,

AND I REALLY WANT TO WEAR THEM TONIGHT.

- I HAVEN'T SEEN THEM.

- WAIT!

MATTY, DO YOU WANT TO TELL YOUR MOM SOMETHING?

- YEAH, WE'RE GOING TO, UH,

SCHOOL FOR A STUDY SESSION.

- THAT'S GREAT. HAVE FUN.

- WHEN ARE YOU GONNA TELL YOUR MOM I'M PREGNANT?

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT OUR FUTURE.

- I KNOW. - I WANT US TO SPEND

OUR LIVES TOGETHER, BUT MAYBE YOU DON'T.

I WAS RAISED BY A SINGLE WOMAN.

I CAN DO THIS ALONE IF YOU'RE NOT WILLING TO COMMIT.

- I'M WILLING.

I MEAN, I-I WANT TO.

SO TOMORROW, AFTER FINALS,

WHY DON'T WE GO LOOKING AT ENGAGEMENT RINGS?

- ATTENTION STUDENTS.

LATE NIGHT JAVA IS NOW BEING SERVED

IN THE CAFETERIA. HAPPY STUDYING.

- LISTEN, IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME

BEFORE SADIE FINDS OUT ABOUT US.

I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING,

AND I NEED YOU TO TRUST THAT IT'S FOR US,

BECAUSE NO ONE CAN KNOW WHAT SINNERS WE ARE.

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- I GOT US A BEARD.

JAKE, YOU'RE SO SMART. CAN YOU EXPLAIN THIS TO ME?

- WELL, THE Z SCORE--

YOU LOOK REALLY GREAT IN THAT DRESS.

- YEAH, THAT DRESS IS PRETTY REVEALING.

HMM, I WONDER WHO YOU'RE TRYING TO LOOK SEXY FOR?

- JAKE, CAN I BORROW YOUR JACKET?

- YEAH, SURE.

YOU STILL LOOK GOOD IN MY JACKETS, TOO.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, STILL?

[phone chimes]

- WHO'RE YOU TEXTING, SADIE?

- IT'S SERGIO. HE IS SUCH AN IDIOT!

- OH, MY GOD! YOU LIKE HIM.

- DISGUSTING! I DO NOT.

- YOU TOTALLY DO. YOU LAUGHED,

YOU ONLY LAUGH WHEN YOU LIKE SOMEONE.

THAT'S YOUR TELL. - YOU ONLY THINK

I LIKE SOMEONE BECAUSE YOU LIKE SOMEONE.

WHO IS IT, LISSA?

- JESUS--I LOVE HIM!

- HEY.

IS JENNA OKAY? SHE WON'T EVEN TALK TO ME.

I MEAN, I KNOW MY PREGNANCY MUST BE HARD FOR HER, BUT--

- YOUR WHAT?

- YOU DIDN'T KNOW?

JENNA REALLY DIDN'T TELL YOU?

- YOU'RE PREGNANT?

- MATTY AND I ARE EXPECTING.

YES.

CAN I TELL YOU A SECRET?

WE'RE GETTING MARRIED.

- I AM SHAKING, AND IT'S WITH ANGER

AND NOT JUST THE DOUBLE DIRTY CHAI I JUST CHUGGED.

HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME ABOUT THE EVAPHANT IN THE ROOM?

SHE'S PREGNANT?

- I'M SORRY. MATTY MADE ME PROMISE--

- UH, YOU MEAN THE FUTURE MR. MANSFIELD.

OH, YEAH, HE'S PROPOSING.

- WHAT?

THAT'S--THAT'S CRAZY. I NEED TO FIND MATTY.

MATTY.

MATTY.

I KNOW IT'S PROBABLY NONE OF MY BUSINESS, BUT WHAT THE [bleep]?

YOU'RE PROPOSING TO HER?

- JENNA, WE'RE HAVING A BABY.

- WELL, MY PARENTS HAD ME WHEN THEY WERE OUR AGE

AND THEY DIDN'T GET MARRIED RIGHT AWAY.

PLEASE DON'T RUIN YOUR LIFE OVER THIS.

- "RUIN MY LIFE"? REALLY?

- AND MAYBE I AM OVERSTEPPING MY BOUNDS, BUT--

- JENNA, JENNA.

YOU ARE DEFINITELY OVERSTEPPING.

- OKAY.

FINE, I'M OUT.

- JENNA...

- NO! NO, NO, NO,

I HAVE BEEN NOTHING

BUT A REALLY, REALLY GOOD FRIEND TO YOU

THROUGH ALL OF THIS.

I KEPT YOUR SECRET.

AND FOR WHAT?

GOOD LUCK, MATTY MCKIBBEN.

[door slams]

- IT WAS LATE, AND AS USUAL,

I'D WASTED TIME AND ENERGY WORRYING ABOUT MATTY.

IT WAS HIS LIFE. LET HIM WORRY.

ALL I CARED ABOUT WAS PASSING MY STATS FINAL.

[cell phone chimes]

OKAY, FINE, THE STATS FINAL WASN'T ALL I CARED ABOUT.

I CARED ABOUT LUKE, A LOT,

AND I REALLY WANTED HIM BACK.

- LISTEN,... [chuckles]

I FEEL BAD ABOUT HOW WE ENDED THINGS.

YOU DESERVE BETTER.

YOU DESERVE CLARITY.

AND I'M PROBABLY GONNA REGRET THIS,

BUT...

I NEED TO FOCUS ON SCHOOL RIGHT NOW.

NOT ON RELATIONSHIPS.

I'VE BEEN WORKING REALLY HARD,

TRYING TO KEEP MY HEAD ABOVE WATER, AND...

I CAN'T HAVE DISTRACTIONS.

- BUT WHAT ABOUT THE, UM,

COOKIE EATER-- WHAT WAS HER NAME?

BABE?

- OH, KAT. SHE CALLS EVERYBODY THAT.

SHE'S A THEATER MAJOR.

SHE LIVES IN MY DORM, SHE LIKES THE SAME MUSIC--

- SHE JUST HAPPENS TO BE REALLY HOT.

- JENNA, LOOK--

I REALLY WANT YOU IN MY LIFE.

- JUST NOT AS YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

- YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD PERSON, YOU'RE SMART--

- NO ONE CHEATED, NO ONE YELLED, NO ONE HATED EACH OTHER.

THIS WAS WHAT A MATURE BREAKUP LOOKED LIKE.

[upbeat pop music]

[abrupt musical wind down]

- YOU OKAY?

- HE SAID I WAS A GOOD PERSON.

- THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH!

COME HERE--AW. - [crying]

- THAT'S IT, SWEETIE, GET IT OUT.

OH, THE FASTER YOU GET IT OUT,

THE SOONER YOU CAN GET BACK TO STUDYING.

- ARE YOU KIDDING ME? STUDYING?

THAT IS THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO RIGHT NOW.

I JUST WANT TO WALLOW.

- ABSOLUTELY NOT!

YOU HAVE TO PUT YOUR FUTURE FIRST.

TEN YEARS FROM NOW, I PROMISE YOU,

YOU WILL CARE MORE ABOUT WHERE YOU WENT TO COLLEGE

THAN SOME STUPID BOY YOU DATED WHEN YOU WERE 17.

- AS MUCH AS I HATED TO ADMIT IT, MY MOM WAS RIGHT.

I COULD ONLY FIX WHAT I COULD CONTROL.

AND THAT WASN'T LUKE, OR MATTY, OR EVA, OR ANYTHING,

OR ANYONE ELSE.

BUT I COULD HELP MYSELF.

YOU'RE RIGHT. ONLY ONE PROBLEM.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND STATS.

IT'S LIKE FOREIGN LANGUAGE TO ME.

- I CAN HELP.

- DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT STATS IT?

- I RUN THE NUMBERS ON HOW TO GET THE BEST DEAL

EVERY TIME I SHOE SHOP.

- MOM, THIS IS LINEAR TRANSFORMATIONS.

I DON'T THINK LOUBOUTINS ARE RELEVANT.

- OH, YOU SWEET, DOPEY LITTLE THING.

- BRUTAL AS IT WAS, I'D FORCED MYSELF TO LOCK LUKE IN A BOX.

MAYBE IT WAS MY CAFFEINE LEVELS NORMALIZING,

BUT I WAS FEELING CALM, CONFIDENT,

AND MOST OF ALL, FOCUSED.

THE REST OF THE CLASS, NOT SO MUCH.

- HEY, JENNA, I HEARD ABOUT YOU AND LUKE AND I'M REALLY SORRY.

I MEAN, I'M REALLY SO, SO, SORRY FOR YOU.

IT MUST SUCK THAT YOU CAN'T KEEP A MAN.

LUKE WAS AMAZING, AND YOU LOST HIM.

AND YOU AND MATTY AREN'T EVEN SPEAKING,

AND I KNOW THAT YOU JUST STILL PINE FOR HIM.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE FINAL. I'M SURE YOU ACED IT.

AFTER ALL, YOU'RE THE 139TH BEST STUDENT HERE.

- THAT'S 137TH, YOU [bleep] BITCH.

[cell phone chimes]

- GRADES ARE UP.

- 92! PRAISE BE!

- UM...

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING,

AND I THINK IT'S DISGUSTING AND UNNATURAL.

YOU'RE GETTING BACK TOGETHER WITH JAKE?

GROSS.

- YEP, THAT'S IT. YOU FOUND ME OUT.

- SO, YOU AND MY SISTER.

- YEAH.

IT'S BEEN YEARS, BUT IT FEELS RIGHT.

- GOOD FOR YOU.

YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT I'M VERY PROTECTIVE OF HER.

[whispering] WATCH YOUR BACK.

[chuckles] LET'S GO GET A MILK SHAKE

AND CELEBRATE LIKE REAL AMERICANS.

- HEY, LISTEN, YOUR BROTHER IS REALLY POSSESSIVE,

AND I JUST DON'T THINK WE SHOULD GO DOWN THIS ROAD NOW.

THAT GUY REALLY FREAKS ME OUT.

- I'M FREAKING OUT.

YOU LOOK, I'M TOO SCARED.

- AAH! [giggles]

98!

I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT.

YOU FOCUSED ON WHAT YOU NEEDED TO DO BECAUSE YOU ARE SMART,

AND YOU ARE-- - A GOOD PERSON?

- I'M SO GLAD WE'RE DOING THIS.

- YEAH, ME TOO.

- DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING CUSHION CUT?

- THERE'S ACTUALLY SOMETHING I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.

- OF COURSE.

- SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE NOT SO TRUTHFUL WITH ME.

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- LIKE AT THE SKI HOUSE, YOU KNOW,

WHEN THE OWNERS DIDN'T KNOW YOU.

- WELL, I TOLD YOU,

I DIDN'T KNOW THE SHAFERS SOLD THEIR PLACE.

AND THEY TOLD ME I COULD USE IT ANYTIME I WANT.

AND THOSE NEW PEOPLE, THEY HID THEIR KEY IN THE SAME PLACE

AS THE SHAFERS DID.

- YEAH, NO, I GUESS THAT MAKES SENSE.

- WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS ONE?

- WOW.

THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.

SO, JUST A DUMB THING, UM...

AFTER THAT ASSEMBLY, I WAS KIND OF PISSED AT MS. MARKS

AND I WENT TO TALK TO HER.

- I CAN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT WHO'S PREGNANT.

I AM ABSOLUTELY COMMITTED TO MAINTAINING GLORIA'S PRIVACY.

[bleep]

- YEAH, AND?

WHORIA GLORIA'S PREGNANT. THAT'S A SHOCKER.

WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH US?

- NOTHING, REALLY, EXCEPT...

GLORIA'S WEARING MY MOM'S EARRINGS.

- WHY WAS SHE WEARING YOUR MOM'S EARRINGS?

- HEY, GLORIA, HOW'RE YOU DOING?

UM, NOT TO BE WEIRD, BUT THOSE EARRINGS,

THEY, UH, LOOK LIKE THIS PAIR THAT MY MOM HAD.

- YEAH, SO?

OH, [bleep] ME!

OF COURSE THEY'RE STOLEN.

- THAT'S SO WEIRD.

I WONDER HOW SHE GOT THEM.

- WELL, GLORIA SAID IT ALL STARTED

WHEN SHE CAUGHT YOU IN THE SKI LODGE.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT?

- DON'T WORRY, GLORIA. YOUR SECRET'S SAFE WITH ME.

- ARE YOU PRETENDING MY PREGNANCY TEST IS YOURS?

I DON'T LIKE THIS.

- I'LL MAKE IT WORTH YOUR WHILE. - HOW?

- THESE WERE REALLY EXPENSIVE.

IT'S NOT LIKE I NEED THEM.

KEEP THEM IF YOU WANT, OR, YOU KNOW,

IF YOU NEED MONEY FOR SOMETHING...

MATTY, YOU'RE FREAKING ME OUT.

- SHE'S SAYING SOME CRAZY [bleep].

- I WOULD NEVER DO THAT.

I'M A GOOD PERSON. YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME.

- I WANT TO, I REALLY DO, IT'S JUST THAT...

- IT MUST SUCK THAT YOU CAN'T KEEP A MAN.

- IT'S JUST THAT YOU'RE A [bleep] HORRIBLE PERSON, AMBER.

- WHAT? NO.

- YOU LIED ABOUT EVERYTHING. YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT.

YOU'RE NOT ANYTHING! - YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

- OH, ACTUALLY, I DO. I'M GONNA MAKE A DEAL WITH YOU.

GET OUT OF MY SCHOOL

GET OUT OF PALOS HILLS,

AND I'LL TELL EVERYONE YOU GOT INTO NYU EARLY.

OR YOU GOT A MODELING CONTRACT, OR YOU LEFT ME FOR RYAN GOSLING.

YOU KNOW, I'LL LET YOU MAKE UP WHATEVER STORY YOU WANT.

IT'LL BE REALLY FUN FOR YOU.

IF YOU EVER COME BACK HERE, THE DEAL IS OFF,

AND I WILL TELL EVERYBODY THE TRUTH.

YOU HAVE 24 HOURS TO DECIDE HOW YOU WANT THIS TO GO DOWN.

- MATTY...

ALL I EVER WANTED WAS YOU.

MAYBE--MAYBE I GOT A LITTLE CRAZY.

- YOU TRIED TO RUIN MY LIFE!

- BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

AND YOU LOVE ME TOO, I KNOW IT.

[voice breaking] PLEASE DON'T DO THIS.

- [sighs]

YOU NOW HAVE 23 HOURS AND 59 MINUTES.

- I WAS SAD ABOUT LUKE, AND I WAS CELEBRATING MY FINAL.

I WAS SAD-LEBRATING,

AND BOTH INVOLVED EATING A LOT OF CHINESE FOOD

AND WATCHING SHOWS ABOUT FEMALE MURDERERS.

[knocking]

- I'M GONNA GO CHECK ON...THINGS.

- UH... I BROKE UP WITH EVA.

UM... YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT HER.

TOTAL PSYCHO.

EVERYTHING SHE SAID WAS A LIE.

- EVERYTHING EVERYTHING?

- OH, SHE'S NOT EVEN PREGNANT, NEVER WAS.

- WHAT? HOW IS THAT--

WHO CARES? YOU OKAY?

- HONESTLY, I FEEL GREAT.

[laughs] I'M NOT GONNA BE A DAD

ANYTIME SOON, MY CRAZY GIRLFRIEND'S GONE,

AND I'M ABOUT TO EAT SOME OF YOUR CHINESE FOOD.

- OKAY.

- THANKS.

JENNA, I'M SORRY FOR NOT TRUSTING YOU.

YOU WERE TRYING TO BE A GOOD FRIEND,

AND I WAS A [bleep] ONE. ALL YEAR.

WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE BOTH SINGLE AGAIN, HUH?

- I SURE AS HELL AM.

- YEAH. I DON'T KNOW IF I'LL EVER BE READY

TO GET BACK ON THAT HORSE.

YOU KNOW? WHAT ABOUT YOU?

- SOME DAY.

BUT FOR NOW, I JUST WANT TO GIVE IT TIME.

[soft guitar, singing]

*

- NEXT, ON AWKWARD...

- ARE YOU HAVING SOME ROMANTIC RENDEZVOUS?

- MATTY HAS TO COME OVER TONIGHT,

AND I THOUGHT I'D MAKE IT SPECIAL.

- SADIE'S HAVING A PARTY AT HER AUNT'S HOUSE.

WE SHOULD GO! - I HAVE A RESOLUTION FOR US.

- OKAY... - NEITHER OF US HOOKS UP.

- HEY, HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN MATTY?

- NO. - I DID. HE TOOK OFF

WITH SOME OLDER CHICK.

- HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN JENNA?

- DO YOU TAKE REQUESTS?