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1
00:00:03,433 --> 00:00:04,767
- PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD...
- YOU'RE SUSPENDED.
2
00:00:04,767 --> 00:00:06,033
- YOU WILL ALL BE SUBMITTING
AN ESSAY
3
00:00:06,033 --> 00:00:10,367
FOR THIS YEAR'S ISSUE--
"HEROES AND VILLAINS."
4
00:00:10,367 --> 00:00:11,467
- LET'S JUST GET OUT OF HERE.
5
00:00:11,467 --> 00:00:12,733
YOU'RE JUST
MY GUIDANCE COUNSELOR,
6
00:00:12,733 --> 00:00:14,567
AND A SUCKY ONE AT THAT!
7
00:00:14,567 --> 00:00:17,100
IT WAS TIME FOR ME
TO TAKE THAT BITCH DOWN.
8
00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:21,133
[bell ringing]
9
00:00:21,133 --> 00:00:23,400
- A PIECE OF WRITING
WAS NEVER MORE PERFECT
10
00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:26,300
THAN IN THAT FLEETING MOMENT
BETWEEN FINISHING IT AND HEARING
11
00:00:26,300 --> 00:00:28,333
SOMEONE ELSE'S OPINION.
IN THAT MOMENT,
12
00:00:28,333 --> 00:00:32,400
MY VAL EXPOSE WAS STILL PURE,
STILL POETRY, STILL--
13
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,200
- PASS.
- WHAT?
14
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,600
- I AM NOT GONNA PUBLISH THIS.
15
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,500
-I COULDN'T LET MY "TELL ALL"
BECOME A "TELL NONE."
16
00:00:37,500 --> 00:00:38,633
- THAT'S CENSORSHIP!
17
00:00:38,633 --> 00:00:40,367
- MAYBE, BUT THAT
IS BULL[bleep],
18
00:00:40,367 --> 00:00:42,467
AND THE LITERARY MAGAZINE
DOES NOT PRINT CRAP.
19
00:00:42,467 --> 00:00:43,633
- IT'S ALL TRUE.
- MS. MARKS CALLED
20
00:00:43,633 --> 00:00:44,900
YOU FOR DATING ADVICE,
21
00:00:44,900 --> 00:00:46,833
SHE LISTED YOU AS HER PERSONAL
EMERGENCY CONTACT,
22
00:00:46,833 --> 00:00:48,067
AND SHE MADE YOU TOUCH
HER BREAST?
23
00:00:48,067 --> 00:00:49,267
- SHE THOUGHT SHE HAD A LUMP.
24
00:00:49,267 --> 00:00:51,667
- TROUBLING, BUT STILL "NO."
25
00:00:51,667 --> 00:00:54,067
YOU WASTED YOUR SUSPENSION
PASSING THIS KIDNEY STONE,
26
00:00:54,067 --> 00:00:56,900
AND I'M NOT GONNA PRINT IT.
- WHY?
27
00:00:56,900 --> 00:00:58,167
IS IT TOO LONG?
- NOPE.
28
00:00:58,167 --> 00:00:59,300
- TOO SHORT?
29
00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:00,800
- NOPE.
- BAD SPELLING?
30
00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:01,900
TYPOS?
- ARE YOU STILL HERE?
31
00:01:01,900 --> 00:01:02,967
- I'M NOT LEAVING UNTIL
32
00:01:02,967 --> 00:01:06,700
YOU TELL ME WHY
YOU WON'T PRINT IT.
33
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,533
- BECAUSE IT'S CRUEL.
- CRUEL?
34
00:01:08,533 --> 00:01:10,333
THE MAN HAD INVENTED
THE CONCEPT.
35
00:01:10,333 --> 00:01:13,967
YOU TOLD ME TO WRITE THE TRUTH,
AND THIS IS THE TRUTH.
36
00:01:13,967 --> 00:01:15,267
YOU HAVE TO PUT IT
IN THE MAGAZINE.
37
00:01:15,267 --> 00:01:17,267
YOU SAID
YOU WOULDN'T CENSOR US.
38
00:01:17,267 --> 00:01:18,800
- WHAT IF SOMEONE WROTE
A PIECE LIKE THIS
39
00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:20,533
ABOUT YOU, POINTING OUT
ALL OF YOUR FLAWS?
40
00:01:20,533 --> 00:01:22,133
- IF IT WERE TRUE,
THEN I'D DESERVE IT,
41
00:01:22,133 --> 00:01:24,067
JUST LIKE SHE DOES.
42
00:01:24,067 --> 00:01:26,233
- JENNA, WORDS HAVE POWER,
43
00:01:26,233 --> 00:01:29,600
AND THAT'S SOMETHING THAT
ALL WRITERS NEED TO UNDERSTAND.
44
00:01:33,067 --> 00:01:37,600
THIS BOOK HAD A HUGE IMPACT
ON MY JOURNEY AS A WRITER.
45
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:40,167
MAYBE IT CAN DO
THE SAME FOR YOU.
46
00:01:40,167 --> 00:01:41,800
- HART'S FAVORITE BOOK.
47
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:43,533
I COULDN'T WAIT
TO NOT READ IT.
48
00:01:43,533 --> 00:01:44,600
- AS FOR YOUR PIECE,
49
00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:45,700
I CANNOT STOP YOU FROM
50
00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:48,600
STILL-BIRTHING IT
INTO THE WORLD.
51
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:51,733
I JUST WANT YOU
TO THINK IT OVER.
52
00:01:51,733 --> 00:01:53,067
- FINE.
53
00:01:53,067 --> 00:01:54,933
BUT I'M NOT GONNA CHANGE
MY MIND.
54
00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:59,100
IT FELT GOOD
TO DEFY AUTHORITY,
55
00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:02,300
AND I COULD STAND BY MY WORDS
AND STILL LOOK VAL IN THE EYE...
56
00:02:05,733 --> 00:02:07,667
FOR A MOMENT.
57
00:02:11,133 --> 00:02:13,133
[Mideau's Feet to the Sun]
58
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,867
*
59
00:02:14,867 --> 00:02:17,567
- JENNA, MY GIRL?
60
00:02:17,567 --> 00:02:20,067
CAN WE JUST THAW
OUR SUSPENSION TENSION?
61
00:02:20,067 --> 00:02:23,400
WE BOTH SAID A LOT OF THINGS
WE PROBABLY REGRET.
62
00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:24,867
MOSTLY YOU SAID THEM
- I DON'T REGRET ANYTHING.
63
00:02:24,867 --> 00:02:27,200
- LIVE WITHOUT REGRET.
THAT'S MY MOTTO TOO.
64
00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,533
LET'S JUST END THIS STRUGGLE
WITH A SNUGGLE.
65
00:02:29,533 --> 00:02:31,533
- LET'S NOT.
66
00:02:31,533 --> 00:02:32,800
*
67
00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:34,633
- * I'LL TAKE THE ADVICE *
68
00:02:34,633 --> 00:02:36,133
- IT'S COOL.
69
00:02:36,133 --> 00:02:38,867
WE'RE STILL FRIENDS.
FRIENDS FIGHT.
70
00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:40,767
IT'LL ONLY MAKE US STRONGER!
71
00:02:40,767 --> 00:02:42,133
- WANT STRONGER LEADERSHIP?
72
00:02:42,133 --> 00:02:43,400
DON'T BE A SUCKER.
73
00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:46,167
VOTE ABBY MARTIN
FOR FRESHMAN TREASURER.
74
00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:47,900
- DO I HAVE FOOD IN MY BRACES?
75
00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:49,567
DOES MY BACKPACK HAVE WHEELS?
76
00:02:49,567 --> 00:02:51,867
DO I WONDER WHAT
A PENIS FEELS LIKE?
77
00:02:51,867 --> 00:02:53,833
NO!
WHY?
78
00:02:53,833 --> 00:02:55,500
'CAUSE I'M NOT
A FREAKIN' FRESHMAN!
79
00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:58,067
- I'M SORRY.
- YES, WE'LL TAKE SOME CANDY.
80
00:02:58,067 --> 00:02:59,367
GOOD LUCK.
81
00:02:59,367 --> 00:03:01,200
- [laughs]
WELL PLAYED.
82
00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:03,967
- BUT THESE SWEETS
ARE A SOUR REMINDER.
83
00:03:03,967 --> 00:03:06,733
A.S.B. ELECTIONS ARE NEXT WEEK,
AND JAKE HAS DONE NOTHING FOR
84
00:03:06,733 --> 00:03:09,433
HIS PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN.
CAN YOU SECURE THE ASIAN VOTE?
85
00:03:09,433 --> 00:03:11,300
- OOH, ARE YOU JAKE'S
CAMPAIGN MANAGER?
86
00:03:11,300 --> 00:03:14,300
- NO, I'M HIS LIFE MANAGER,
WHICH INCLUDES HIS CAMPAIGN.
87
00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:17,100
IF HE'S GONNA WIN, HE HAS
TO WAKE THE SLEEPING DRAGON.
88
00:03:17,100 --> 00:03:19,433
- DONE!
I SAY, ASIANS DO.
89
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,400
- CAN YOU HAVE THEM PUT A HIT
OUT ON JENNA'S NEW PERSONALITY?
90
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,700
- UGH, I JUST WISH
SHE'D BE HERSELF.
91
00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:25,667
- BE "HERSELVES"
IS MORE LIKE IT.
92
00:03:25,667 --> 00:03:27,267
MAYBE SHE'S HAVING
A HARD TIME SEEING
93
00:03:27,267 --> 00:03:28,767
THROUGH HER PRETENTIOUS
FAKE GLASSES.
94
00:03:28,767 --> 00:03:30,700
- [chuckles]
[toilet flushes]
95
00:03:35,433 --> 00:03:37,367
- I DIDN'T CARE WHAT
THE BITCHES THOUGHT.
96
00:03:40,333 --> 00:03:42,367
I HAD COLLIN.
97
00:03:42,367 --> 00:03:44,700
MR. "HART-LESS" WON'T PUBLISH
MY ESSAY
98
00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:46,233
BECAUSE HE SAYS IT'S CRUEL.
99
00:03:46,233 --> 00:03:48,300
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?
- IT IS.
100
00:03:48,300 --> 00:03:51,767
BUT IT'S ALSO INSIGHTFUL
AND CONTROVERSIAL,
101
00:03:51,767 --> 00:03:54,967
LIKE ALL GREAT WRITING.
102
00:03:54,967 --> 00:03:56,667
HEY, SO I'M TAKING YOU
OUT TONIGHT.
103
00:03:56,667 --> 00:03:58,067
MY BUDDY DAVE OSOKOW
CAN GET US
104
00:03:58,067 --> 00:03:59,100
INTO A POP-UP CLUB DOWNTOWN.
105
00:03:59,100 --> 00:04:00,800
- CAN'T.
STILL GROUNDED.
106
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:01,933
- SO WHAT?
- I KNOW.
107
00:04:01,933 --> 00:04:03,333
I JUST CAN'T DEAL WITH
108
00:04:03,333 --> 00:04:04,567
MY PARENTS' BULL[bleep].
109
00:04:04,567 --> 00:04:07,400
- OKAY.
BUT, CAN WE AT LEAST
110
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:09,467
TAKE THE LONG WAY HOME?
111
00:04:09,467 --> 00:04:11,467
- DEFINITELY.
112
00:04:11,467 --> 00:04:13,133
- WHERE ARE YOUR POSTERS?
113
00:04:13,133 --> 00:04:15,267
YOUR OPPONENT MYLES
HAS TONS.
114
00:04:15,267 --> 00:04:17,967
- MYLES NEEDS POSTERS.
HE HAS NO BRAND AWARENESS.
115
00:04:17,967 --> 00:04:20,533
I DON'T NEED POSTERS.
- YOU'RE TOO COMPLACENT.
116
00:04:20,533 --> 00:04:23,300
YOU NEED TO STEP IT UP.
NO CAMPAIGN, NO GAIN.
117
00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:25,233
HERE IS A LIST OF THINGS
WE SHOULD BE DOING.
118
00:04:27,833 --> 00:04:30,333
- "AGGREGATE POLLING DATA."
- MM-HMM.
119
00:04:30,333 --> 00:04:31,967
- WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?
120
00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:33,633
LOOK, I KNOW HOW TO WIN.
121
00:04:33,633 --> 00:04:35,533
I'VE DONE IT EVERY YEAR
WITHOUT YOUR LIST.
122
00:04:38,067 --> 00:04:39,600
[sighs]
I'M SORRY.
123
00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:41,267
HOW ABOUT I COME OVER TONIGHT
AND WE MAKE POSTERS?
124
00:04:41,267 --> 00:04:43,267
- YES!
WE'LL PROMOTE YOUR PLATFORM
125
00:04:43,267 --> 00:04:44,433
IN PUFF PAINT.
126
00:04:44,433 --> 00:04:46,300
[bleep], I HOPE I HAVE ENOUGH
PUFF PAINT.
127
00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:49,067
WHO AM I KIDDING?
OF COURSE I DO. [giggles]
128
00:04:49,067 --> 00:04:50,867
- [sighs]
129
00:04:50,867 --> 00:04:53,300
I'M STILL SHIVERING
FROM JENNA'S COLD SHOULDER.
130
00:04:53,300 --> 00:04:55,467
- OH, YOU THINK
IT'S BAD FOR YOU?
131
00:04:55,467 --> 00:04:57,400
IMAGINE LIVING WITH HER.
132
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:02,500
VAL!
- HUH? WHAT? SORRY.
133
00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:04,067
WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING.
134
00:05:04,067 --> 00:05:06,733
IF ONLY THERE WAS SOME WAY
WE COULD INTERVENE.
135
00:05:06,733 --> 00:05:08,500
THAT'S IT!
AN INTERVENTION!
136
00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:12,167
BUT WHO'S GONNA LEAD IT?
137
00:05:12,167 --> 00:05:15,167
- DON'T YOU DO THAT STUFF
FOR A LIVING?
138
00:05:15,167 --> 00:05:17,933
- NOT WELL, L-DAWG.
NOT WELL.
139
00:05:17,933 --> 00:05:20,500
WE'LL NEED AN EXPERT.
- [sighs]
140
00:05:20,500 --> 00:05:21,600
I KNOW ONE!
141
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,933
- I'VE BEEN TO TONS
OF THESE THINGS.
142
00:05:23,933 --> 00:05:25,567
- EXCELLENT. CAN YOU WALK US
THROUGH WHAT TO EXPECT?
143
00:05:25,567 --> 00:05:27,400
- MM.
144
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:30,167
YOU KNOW, COME TO THINK OF IT,
I REALLY DON'T REMEMBER MUCH.
145
00:05:30,167 --> 00:05:31,767
I WAS FAIRLY HIGH
WHEN IT WAS HAPPENING.
146
00:05:31,767 --> 00:05:33,267
- I'M NERVOUS.
147
00:05:33,267 --> 00:05:34,933
I'M GONNA NEED SOMEONE ELSE
TO GO FIRST.
148
00:05:34,933 --> 00:05:36,667
- [gasps]
CAN I GO FIRST?
149
00:05:36,667 --> 00:05:38,600
I'D LOVE THE CHANCE
TO TELL JENNA
150
00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:40,167
ALL THE DIFFERENT WAYS
SHE'S BEEN A DISAPPOINTMENT.
151
00:05:40,167 --> 00:05:43,600
AND DON'T WORRY,
I WON'T HOLD ANYTHING BACK.
152
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:44,867
THERE'S NO TIME LIMIT, RIGHT?
153
00:05:44,867 --> 00:05:47,800
- MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE
THE SILENT PEER PRESENCE.
154
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:50,733
HOW'S YOUR SUPPORTIVE NOD?
155
00:05:52,533 --> 00:05:55,333
- I'VE NEVER THROWN
AN INTERVENTION BEFORE,
156
00:05:55,333 --> 00:05:57,533
BUT LUCKILY, GOOGLE HAS.
157
00:05:57,533 --> 00:06:02,067
I HID ALL THE SHARP OBJECTS,
AND I PUT OUT PLENTY OF TISSUES.
158
00:06:02,067 --> 00:06:05,600
AND, OH, I ALMOST FORGOT.
I GOT MUNCHIES.
159
00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:07,933
- LADIES, I REALLY SHOULD BE THE
ONE LEADING THIS INTERVENTION.
160
00:06:07,933 --> 00:06:09,400
- [forced laugh]
- TODAY ALONE,
161
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:11,600
I GOT TWO PEOPLE
TO STOP DRINKING.
162
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,067
- AND ONLY THREE OR FOUR
TO START.
163
00:06:13,067 --> 00:06:15,367
- IF ANY OF YOU KNEW ANYTHING
ABOUT ANYTHING,
164
00:06:15,367 --> 00:06:16,767
YOU'D KNOW
THAT MY TWITTER FEED,
165
00:06:16,767 --> 00:06:19,400
@YOURHARSHTRUTH,
IS BLOWING UP.
166
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:22,100
PEOPLE CAN'T GET ENOUGH
OF MY UNFILTERED ADVICE.
167
00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:25,500
- SOMEONE WANTS YOUR ADVICE?
- YES.
168
00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:27,367
AND HERE'S A TIP FOR FREE--
169
00:06:27,367 --> 00:06:29,333
THAT TOP COMES
IN YOUR SIZE TOO.
170
00:06:29,333 --> 00:06:31,633
WE ALREADY KNOW
YOUR BOOBS ARE HUGE.
171
00:06:31,633 --> 00:06:33,467
- WHY IS SHE HERE AGAIN?
172
00:06:33,467 --> 00:06:34,600
- YOU WANTED A PEER PRESENCE,
173
00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:35,800
AND LIL BITCH HAS NO FRIENDS.
174
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,333
- RIGHT.
175
00:06:38,333 --> 00:06:39,433
- OKAY, HERE SHE COMES.
176
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:42,167
PLACES, EVERYBODY!
- OH! OH!
177
00:06:43,233 --> 00:06:44,567
- [sighs]
- OH, GOD.
178
00:06:44,567 --> 00:06:47,567
- ACT NATURAL.
[door closes]
179
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,333
- WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
180
00:06:50,333 --> 00:06:54,067
- OH!
THEY JUST DROPPED BY...
181
00:06:54,067 --> 00:06:56,400
UNEXPECTEDLY.
- OOPS.
182
00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:57,833
- WHY DON'T YOU
COME CHAT WITH US?
183
00:06:57,833 --> 00:07:03,067
- YES, COME SIT IN THIS
SEMICIRCLE OF FURNITURE,
184
00:07:03,067 --> 00:07:04,967
WHERE WE CAN ALL
SEE EACH OTHER CLEARLY
185
00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:08,233
AND FEEL ENCOURAGED TO SHARE.
186
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:20,800
- SO.
- SO.
187
00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:24,267
- SO.
188
00:07:24,267 --> 00:07:25,367
- [sighs]
189
00:07:25,367 --> 00:07:27,833
LIL BITCH, THIS IS
YOUR INTERVENTION, UNH.
190
00:07:27,833 --> 00:07:29,567
- WHAT?
- WHAT?
191
00:07:29,567 --> 00:07:30,900
I-I THINK WE WERE SUPPOSED TO
192
00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:33,067
BUILD TO THE ISSUE
IN A GENTLE WAY.
193
00:07:33,067 --> 00:07:35,200
- YES.
LET ME EXPLAIN.
194
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:38,200
JENNA, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM.
195
00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:39,800
YOU'RE AN ASS[bleep].
196
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,067
- YET AGAIN,
THE GENTLE INTENT WAS LOST.
197
00:07:42,067 --> 00:07:45,400
- HONEY, WE'RE JUST WORRIED
ABOUT YOU.
198
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:48,367
- YOU'VE BEEN DISTANT, AND...
199
00:07:48,367 --> 00:07:49,533
- IRRITABLE.
200
00:07:49,533 --> 00:07:51,067
- YOU'VE LOST
ALL YOUR FRIENDS.
201
00:07:51,067 --> 00:07:54,467
- YOU COULD USE
A GOOD HAIR SCRUB.
202
00:07:54,467 --> 00:07:56,767
- WOW.
203
00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:57,833
I'M TOUCHED.
204
00:07:57,833 --> 00:08:01,333
I SO APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN.
205
00:08:01,333 --> 00:08:02,400
THANK YOU, MOM.
206
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,333
I REALLY NEEDED
THIS WAKE-UP CALL.
207
00:08:04,333 --> 00:08:07,100
- I MEAN, UH, ACTUALLY,
IT WAS--IT WAS MY IDEA.
208
00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:08,800
- OF COURSE.
209
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,733
CAN I SAY SOMETHING?
- MM-HMM.
210
00:08:12,633 --> 00:08:15,067
- YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH
OF HYPOCRITES.
211
00:08:15,067 --> 00:08:17,600
SO [bleep] OFF!
212
00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:25,667
- MY ACCUSERS WERE TWO LOSERS,
ONE USER, AND AN ABUSER.
213
00:08:25,667 --> 00:08:27,667
THEY WERE THE LAST PEOPLE
I WOULD LISTEN TO,
214
00:08:27,667 --> 00:08:30,067
AND I WAS SICK AND TIRED
OF PEOPLE TELLING ME
215
00:08:30,067 --> 00:08:31,233
WHAT I SHOULD
AND SHOULDN'T DO.
216
00:08:31,233 --> 00:08:32,667
I WAS GONNA DO
WHAT I WANTED,
217
00:08:32,667 --> 00:08:34,967
WHEN I WANTED,
AND WITH WHOM I WANTED.
218
00:08:34,967 --> 00:08:36,367
NO ONE WAS GONNA STOP ME.
[computer chirps]
219
00:08:36,367 --> 00:08:38,633
- * SINGING TILL
THE SUN COMES UP *
220
00:08:38,633 --> 00:08:41,267
*YOU AIN'T GETTING
A HOLD OF ME *
221
00:08:43,333 --> 00:08:45,967
- VALERIE THOUGHT
I NEEDED A WAKE-UP CALL?
222
00:08:45,967 --> 00:08:47,300
- *BONES BLEEDING
IF BONES CAN BLEED *
223
00:08:47,300 --> 00:08:49,633
- BUT IN REALITY,
SHE WAS ABOUT TO GET ONE.
224
00:08:49,633 --> 00:08:54,667
- *SORE AND SEETHING
ALL IN HARMONY *
225
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:57,067
* YOU AIN'T GETTING
A HOLD OF ME *
226
00:08:57,067 --> 00:08:59,667
- HONEY?
227
00:08:59,667 --> 00:09:01,333
I-I--
228
00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:03,367
- *I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU'RE SERIOUS *
229
00:09:03,367 --> 00:09:05,167
- DAMN IT!
WE DIDN'T SECURE THE PERIMETER.
230
00:09:05,167 --> 00:09:06,233
- *SHORT TAIL, LONG LEGS *
231
00:09:06,233 --> 00:09:07,233
- CAN WE DRINK NOW?
232
00:09:07,233 --> 00:09:09,167
- [sighs]
both: YES!
233
00:09:12,167 --> 00:09:13,367
- I DIDN'T KNOW WHEN
THE SISTERHOOD
234
00:09:13,367 --> 00:09:15,767
OF THE BLATHERING SKANKS
WOULD BE BACK,
235
00:09:15,767 --> 00:09:16,900
AND I WASN'T GONNA STICK AROUND
TO FIND OUT.
236
00:09:16,900 --> 00:09:18,933
- *DRAGGING BEHIND ME *
237
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:21,633
*TORN SAILS WHIPPING
IN THE COLD DARK SEA *
238
00:09:21,633 --> 00:09:23,300
- HEY.
COUNT ME IN FOR TONIGHT.
239
00:09:23,300 --> 00:09:25,700
- *YOU AIN'T GETTING
A HOLD OF ME *
240
00:09:25,700 --> 00:09:27,333
- HOLY CRAP!
241
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:29,100
- I'VE SELECTED DIFFERENT COLORS
BASED ON
242
00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:31,367
WHICH HALLWAYS THEY'LL HANG IN,
AND I'VE CROSS-REFERENCED THEM
243
00:09:31,367 --> 00:09:33,600
WITH MY ELECTION WEEK OUTFITS.
244
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,367
THIS, CANDIDATE ROSATI,
245
00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:39,133
IS YOUR PROTOTYPE
"POSTER WITH THE MOSTER."
246
00:09:39,133 --> 00:09:40,567
- THAT IS AWESOME.
247
00:09:40,567 --> 00:09:41,833
- TOLD YOU SO.
- YOU DID.
248
00:09:41,833 --> 00:09:43,967
YOU CAN TOTALLY MAKE
ALL MY POSTERS.
249
00:09:43,967 --> 00:09:46,167
- UH, I CAN MAKE YOUR POSTERS?
250
00:09:46,167 --> 00:09:47,333
- YEAH.
- JAKE!
251
00:09:47,333 --> 00:09:51,100
THIS IS NOT A FREE RIDE,
THIS IS A "WE" RIDE.
252
00:09:51,100 --> 00:09:52,867
WE'RE DOING THIS TOGETHER.
253
00:09:52,867 --> 00:09:55,633
YOU NEED TO MAKE POSTERS
SO THAT YOU CAN SHINE THROUGH.
254
00:09:55,633 --> 00:09:57,067
- OKAY, PASS ME A MARKER.
255
00:09:57,067 --> 00:09:59,600
- WHICH COLOR?
- WHATEVER.
256
00:10:09,767 --> 00:10:12,867
- OKAY!
257
00:10:12,867 --> 00:10:14,233
ONE DOWN.
258
00:10:14,233 --> 00:10:15,900
- "JAKE 4 PREZ"?
259
00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:17,233
THIS ISN'T A TEXT!
260
00:10:17,233 --> 00:10:18,500
FLESH IT OUT.
261
00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:20,500
YOU HAVE TO TAKE A STAND
ON ISSUES,
262
00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:23,233
LIKE THE SALE
OF FLAMING HOT CHEETOS.
263
00:10:23,233 --> 00:10:26,000
DO YOU FAVOR THE FLAVOR,
OR SPURN THE BURN?
264
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,333
YOU CAN'T BE APATHETIC.
- OKAY.
265
00:10:27,333 --> 00:10:30,067
FINE.
HAND ME ANOTHER POSTER BOARD.
266
00:10:30,067 --> 00:10:33,867
- MM-HMM.
- AND THIS TIME, THE, UH...
267
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:37,833
GREEN MARKER, PLEASE.
268
00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:47,100
- LET ME GET YOU A PLATE.
269
00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:49,167
- I'M GOING OUT.
270
00:10:49,167 --> 00:10:52,433
- UH, NO, YOU'RE NOT.
YOU'RE GROUNDED.
271
00:10:52,433 --> 00:10:53,767
- WHICH MEANS WHAT, EXACTLY?
272
00:10:53,767 --> 00:10:56,933
BECAUSE AS FAR AS I SEE IT,
I'M ABOUT TO LEAVE.
273
00:10:56,933 --> 00:10:58,900
- OKAY, YOU ARE
OUT OF CONTROL,
274
00:10:58,900 --> 00:11:00,733
AND YOU'RE
RUINING YOUR LIFE.
275
00:11:00,733 --> 00:11:03,833
- NO, YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE,
JUST LIKE YOU RUINED YOURS.
276
00:11:03,833 --> 00:11:05,633
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A LIFE.
277
00:11:05,633 --> 00:11:08,333
THE ONLY JOB YOU'VE HAD
FOR 17 YEARS IS BEING A MOM,
278
00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:10,067
AND YOU SUCK AT IT!
279
00:11:10,067 --> 00:11:12,133
- DO NOT TALK TO YOUR MOM
THAT WAY.
280
00:11:12,133 --> 00:11:13,667
- WHY NOT?
ARE YOU GONNA GIVE HER
281
00:11:13,667 --> 00:11:15,900
THE WAKE-UP CALL SHE NEEDS?
282
00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:19,133
- IF YOU LEAVE--
- WHAT?
283
00:11:21,067 --> 00:11:23,733
- DON'T COME BACK.
- LACE--
284
00:11:23,733 --> 00:11:26,233
- NO, KEVIN.
285
00:11:26,233 --> 00:11:28,900
DON'T COME BACK.
286
00:11:36,233 --> 00:11:39,233
[dance music]
287
00:11:39,233 --> 00:11:42,900
**
288
00:11:42,900 --> 00:11:44,700
- FAR CRY
FROM PALOS VERDES, HUH?
289
00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:45,767
- IT WAS.
290
00:11:45,767 --> 00:11:47,600
THE POP-UP CLUB HAD POPPED UP
291
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:48,800
AT THE PERFECT TIME.
292
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:51,067
THERE WAS NO PLACE
LIKE AWAY FROM HOME.
293
00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:58,900
- YOU MADE IT!
294
00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:02,333
- AND YOU MADE IT TOO.
295
00:12:02,333 --> 00:12:04,267
- HOLD ON.
I THINK I HATE THAT GIRL.
296
00:12:09,167 --> 00:12:11,067
- SO RANDOM RUNNING
INTO ANGELIQUE HERE.
297
00:12:11,067 --> 00:12:14,233
- ACTUALLY, I INVITED HER.
IS THAT COOL?
298
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:16,833
- I WAS WITH THE COOLEST GUY
AT THE COOLEST CLUB IN TOWN.
299
00:12:16,833 --> 00:12:18,533
HOW COULD I NOT
BE COOL WITH IT?
300
00:12:18,533 --> 00:12:20,300
OF COURSE.
301
00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:22,933
- JENNA SPOKE THE TRUTH.
302
00:12:22,933 --> 00:12:24,800
I'M A TERRIBLE MOM.
303
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:28,700
I FAILED HER, AND THEN
I DROVE HER AWAY.
304
00:12:28,700 --> 00:12:29,800
I HAVE TO FIX THIS.
305
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,733
I HAVE TO TELL HER
SHE CAN COME HOME.
306
00:12:33,767 --> 00:12:36,500
- NO!
- WHA--
307
00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:37,900
- NO?
- NO!
308
00:12:37,900 --> 00:12:40,833
LACE, YOU SHOWED HER
THE TOUGH LOVE SHE DESERVES.
309
00:12:40,833 --> 00:12:42,333
- BUT MAYBE I WAS TOO TOUGH.
310
00:12:42,333 --> 00:12:44,333
- FRANKLY, I DON'T THINK
YOU WERE TOUGH ENOUGH.
311
00:12:44,333 --> 00:12:48,100
IF SHE WANTS TO BE INDEPENDENT,
SHE CAN LEARN THE HARD WAY,
312
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,133
ON THE STREETS.
313
00:12:50,133 --> 00:12:53,600
ALONE.
WITH THUGS...
314
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,867
AND RAPISTS.
315
00:12:55,867 --> 00:12:58,167
OH, GOD, OUR BABY.
316
00:12:58,167 --> 00:13:00,067
- NO!
- [grunts]
317
00:13:00,067 --> 00:13:03,200
- DON'T BREAK!
- BUT SHE NEEDS HER DADDY!
318
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:04,267
- [panting]
319
00:13:04,267 --> 00:13:06,133
- I THINK YOU JUST BROKE
YOUR PHONE.
320
00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:08,933
- THAT WAS MY PHONE.
321
00:13:08,933 --> 00:13:11,600
WELL, GOOD.
322
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,933
BECAUSE WE CAN'T LET HER
MANIPULATE US.
323
00:13:13,933 --> 00:13:15,867
WE HAVE TO STAY STRONG.
324
00:13:15,867 --> 00:13:17,800
IT IS TIME FOR TOUGH LOVE.
- I CAN'T.
325
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:18,900
- YOU CAN.
- I DON'T WANT TO.
326
00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:20,733
- THAT'S WHY IT'S TOUGH.
327
00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:22,467
- OKAY.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
328
00:13:22,467 --> 00:13:24,433
LET'S JUST HOPE,
WHEREVER SHE IS,
329
00:13:24,433 --> 00:13:25,900
JENNA IS MAKING GOOD CHOICES.
330
00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:28,233
- * MY FIRE IS WILD
- BRAIN ERASER, OR GUT ROT?
331
00:13:28,233 --> 00:13:31,500
- BRAIN ERASER.
- GUT ROT.
332
00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:34,767
- WHOO!
- *MY RAGE IS DEEP *
333
00:13:34,767 --> 00:13:35,933
[cheers and applause]
334
00:13:35,933 --> 00:13:38,167
- YEAH!
ALL RIGHT!
335
00:13:38,167 --> 00:13:40,300
- *ONE BLACK EYE *
336
00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:42,233
- YEAH, ALL RIGHT!
337
00:13:42,233 --> 00:13:44,800
- TAKING IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL.
- * BUSTED TEETH
338
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:48,233
- SPEAKING OF NEXT LEVEL.
339
00:13:48,233 --> 00:13:50,800
- [gasps] OOH!
- EITHER ANGELIQUE REALLY
340
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,100
LIKED CANDY, OR--
341
00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:53,600
- TONIGHT'S FESTIVITIES
ARE BROUGHT TO YOU
342
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,900
BY THE LETTER "X."
343
00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:57,300
- *YOU REALLY LIGHT ME UP *
344
00:13:57,300 --> 00:13:59,767
- IN THE MOMENT,
I DIDN'T KNOW IF MY MIND
345
00:13:59,767 --> 00:14:01,100
COULD TAKE ANY MORE EXPANDING,
346
00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:03,267
SO I BLAMED IT
ON MY BLADDER.
347
00:14:03,267 --> 00:14:07,833
I NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM.
BE RIGHT BACK.
348
00:14:07,833 --> 00:14:11,100
- *YOU REALLY LIGHT ME UP *
- * OH, OH, OH
349
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:14,067
[muffled music]
350
00:14:17,067 --> 00:14:18,967
- BATHROOM LINE SHOTS!
351
00:14:22,767 --> 00:14:23,833
- SORRY I RAN AWAY.
352
00:14:23,833 --> 00:14:25,967
- YOU RAN AWAY?
353
00:14:25,967 --> 00:14:28,467
- WASN'T IT OBVIOUS?
- [laughs] YEAH.
354
00:14:28,467 --> 00:14:33,233
- I JUST DIDN'T FEEL READY TO
TRY ECSTASY FOR THE FIRST TIME.
355
00:14:33,233 --> 00:14:35,533
- OH, NO.
I FEEL AWFUL.
356
00:14:35,533 --> 00:14:37,467
- WHAT?
NO, IT'S FINE.
357
00:14:37,467 --> 00:14:39,433
WHY WOULD YOU FEEL BAD?
358
00:14:39,433 --> 00:14:44,667
- I PUT THE "E" IN YOUR DRINK.
359
00:14:49,367 --> 00:14:51,633
[dance music]
360
00:14:51,633 --> 00:14:53,067
- I WAS THROUGH
THE LOOKING GLASS,
361
00:14:53,067 --> 00:14:55,200
AND APPARENTLY DOWN
THE "GRAB IT" HOLE,
362
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:57,700
AND THE ECSTASY WAS DEFINITELY
HAVING AN EFFECT...
363
00:14:57,700 --> 00:14:59,367
ON COLLIN AND ANGELIQUE.
364
00:14:59,367 --> 00:15:00,533
I, ON THE OTHER HAND,
365
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,067
WAS WAY TOO FREAKED OUT
TO BE BLISSED OUT.
366
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:05,233
- HEY, FEEL THIS.
IT'S AMAZING.
367
00:15:05,233 --> 00:15:07,633
- OH, AMAZING.
368
00:15:07,633 --> 00:15:09,267
HERE, JENNA, YOU GOTTA FEEL.
369
00:15:09,267 --> 00:15:11,667
- YEAH, IT'S AMAZING.
370
00:15:11,667 --> 00:15:12,967
IT WASN'T AMAZING.
371
00:15:12,967 --> 00:15:14,900
- I LOVE YOU GUYS.
372
00:15:18,533 --> 00:15:22,467
- UM, SHOULDN'T WE DO THIS
SOMEWHERE IN PRIVATE?
373
00:15:22,467 --> 00:15:24,733
- OH, NO, SHE'S COOL,
YOU'RE COOL, RIGHT, ANG?
374
00:15:24,733 --> 00:15:26,667
- YEAH.
I'M TOTALLY COOL.
375
00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:32,433
- OKAY.
376
00:15:32,433 --> 00:15:34,700
ANGELIQUE WAS DEFINITELY COOL,
377
00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:36,633
AND NOT AFRAID OF BEARD BURN...
378
00:15:39,700 --> 00:15:41,633
OR, BOUNDARIES.
379
00:15:43,433 --> 00:15:44,500
- JAKE!
380
00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:46,067
YOU NEED TO PUSH
YOUR BOUNDARIES!
381
00:15:46,067 --> 00:15:48,067
GET OUT
OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE!
382
00:15:48,067 --> 00:15:50,633
GO DON DRAPER ON THIS PAPER.
383
00:15:50,633 --> 00:15:52,267
TAKE THE TIME
TO MAKE IT RHYME.
384
00:15:52,267 --> 00:15:53,833
DON'T BE BITTER,
ADD MORE GLITTER!
385
00:15:53,833 --> 00:15:55,500
- STOP IT!
- RHYMING?
386
00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:57,067
- NO, TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!
387
00:15:57,067 --> 00:15:59,267
YOU'RE SUFFOCATING ME.
- I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU.
388
00:15:59,267 --> 00:16:00,500
- NO, YOU'RE TRYING
TO TURN ME
389
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:02,067
INTO THE PROTOTYPE
OF A PERFECT BOYFRIEND.
390
00:16:02,067 --> 00:16:05,733
AND I TRY, AND I TRY EVERYTHING
THAT YOU SAY!
391
00:16:05,733 --> 00:16:07,167
BUT YOU STILL HAVE
MORE CRITICISM.
392
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:10,133
- I'M SORRY THAT I WANT US
TO WORK ON OUR RELATIONSHIP.
393
00:16:10,133 --> 00:16:12,867
- "US"?
I DO ALL THE WORK.
394
00:16:12,867 --> 00:16:14,900
- YOU DON'T THINK I WORK
TO BE A GOOD GIRLFRIEND?
395
00:16:14,900 --> 00:16:16,800
I JUST MADE YOU 20 POSTERS!
396
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:18,300
- THAT I DIDN'T ASK FOR!
397
00:16:18,300 --> 00:16:20,233
YOU THINK YOU KNOW BETTER
ABOUT EVERYTHING!
398
00:16:20,233 --> 00:16:24,433
WELL, THIS IS THE ONE THING THAT
I KNOW HOW TO DO, AND YOU DON'T.
399
00:16:24,433 --> 00:16:25,967
YOU WOULD MAKE
THE WORST PRESIDENT EVER!
400
00:16:25,967 --> 00:16:27,500
I DON'T NEED RHYMING SLOGANS,
401
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:30,500
OR GLITTER, OR TO DOT
MY "I"s WITH LITTLE STARS.
402
00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:33,967
I CAN WRITE ANYTHING
ON MY POSTERS AND STILL WIN!
403
00:16:33,967 --> 00:16:37,800
- OH, YEAH?
404
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:41,167
COULD YOU WRITE THIS?
405
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,100
- YOU WOULDN'T DARE.
406
00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:46,433
- OH, WOULDN'T I?
407
00:16:46,433 --> 00:16:48,767
- PUT THAT GLITTER DOWN.
408
00:16:55,367 --> 00:16:58,733
[club music]
409
00:16:58,733 --> 00:17:01,067
- SO, THERE WAS
AN EXCESS CARESS.
410
00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:02,167
IT WAS OKAY.
411
00:17:02,167 --> 00:17:05,100
IT WASN'T LIKE I WAS IN
A THREESOME.
412
00:17:05,100 --> 00:17:08,267
AND SHE HAD TO PUT
HER HAND SOMEWHERE.
413
00:17:08,267 --> 00:17:10,200
IT DEFINITELY DIDN'T MEAN
I WAS IN A THREESOME.
414
00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:14,100
OR, I WAS IN A THREESOME.
415
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:15,933
I'M NOT COMFORTABLE.
416
00:17:15,933 --> 00:17:17,633
- TAKE OFF YOUR JACKET.
- I'LL HELP YOU.
417
00:17:17,633 --> 00:17:20,567
- NO. NO.
418
00:17:20,567 --> 00:17:22,567
I NEED TO GO HOME.
RIGHT NOW.
419
00:17:22,567 --> 00:17:25,933
- OH.
OKAY.
420
00:17:25,933 --> 00:17:28,300
SEE YA.
421
00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:30,933
[both moaning]
422
00:17:30,933 --> 00:17:35,267
- I MAY HAVE BEEN HIGH,
BUT I'D NEVER FELT SO LOW.
423
00:17:35,267 --> 00:17:37,067
I WAS SCARED, ALONE,
424
00:17:37,067 --> 00:17:40,900
AND MY LACK OF CASH OR CREDIT
MATCHED MY LACK OF OPTIONS.
425
00:17:40,900 --> 00:17:44,900
I HAD TO CALL SOMEONE.
- *IT STARTS TURNING IT ON *
426
00:17:44,900 --> 00:17:48,267
NOT MY PARENTS...
- * THIS IS IT
427
00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:51,167
- OR MY FRIENDS.
428
00:17:51,167 --> 00:17:54,967
THERE WAS ONLY ONE LAST RESORT,
AND I WAS DESPERATE.
429
00:17:54,967 --> 00:17:58,867
- *NOT SHUTTING OFF *
430
00:17:58,867 --> 00:18:01,167
- HEY, IT'S ME.
431
00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:02,900
CAN YOU COME PICK ME UP?
432
00:18:02,900 --> 00:18:04,833
- * THE SUN IS MOVING IN
433
00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:19,800
[ambient electronic music]
434
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,767
**
435
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,200
- [sighs]
436
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:27,633
DO YOU NEED ME TO STOP AND GET
YOU SOME WATER OR SOMETHING?
437
00:18:27,633 --> 00:18:29,633
- I'M OKAY.
438
00:18:29,633 --> 00:18:37,567
*
439
00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:47,133
- IT'S JUST AN EARRING.
440
00:18:47,133 --> 00:18:50,067
- BUT IT'S NOT MINE.
441
00:18:50,067 --> 00:18:57,933
*
442
00:19:03,567 --> 00:19:07,700
- [crying]
443
00:19:07,700 --> 00:19:15,633
*
444
00:19:20,133 --> 00:19:22,067
- [sighs]
445
00:19:26,067 --> 00:19:28,633
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE
YOU NEED ME TO DO?
446
00:19:30,933 --> 00:19:35,233
- CAN YOU HOLD ME?
447
00:19:35,233 --> 00:19:39,633
- [softly]
YEAH.
448
00:19:39,633 --> 00:19:43,800
- THANK YOU
FOR BEING MY HERO.
449
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,333
[soft music]
450
00:19:46,333 --> 00:19:48,767
- THAT'S ALL
I EVER WANTED TO BE.
451
00:19:48,767 --> 00:19:56,533
*
452
00:19:56,533 --> 00:19:58,333
[engine starts]
453
00:19:58,333 --> 00:20:06,267
*
454
00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:16,500
[soft music continues]
455
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:20,900
*
456
00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:24,700
- NEXT ON AWKWARD...
- HEY, GUYS!
457
00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:25,867
- HEY.
- HI.
458
00:20:25,867 --> 00:20:27,233
- DURING MY SANITY SABBATICAL,
459
00:20:27,233 --> 00:20:29,833
I WROTE A MEAN ESSAY ABOUT VAL
FOR THE LIT MAGAZINE.
460
00:20:29,833 --> 00:20:31,867
- DON'T WORRY, PEOPLE ONLY READ
THE EXPERIOR
461
00:20:31,867 --> 00:20:33,067
FOR THE SEX STORIES.
462
00:20:33,067 --> 00:20:34,533
NOBODY'S GONNA BOTHER
WITH YOUR ESSAY.
463
00:20:34,533 --> 00:20:37,200
- YOUR ESSAY IS AWESOME!
464
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,567
- THAT'S WHY YOU'RE SORRY?
465
00:20:38,567 --> 00:20:40,233
- IS THERE SOMETHING ELSE
I SHOULD BE APOLOGIZING FOR?
466
00:20:40,233 --> 00:20:42,167
- DID YOU SLEEP
WITH ANGELIQUE?
32784
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