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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,970 --> 00:00:04,105 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:04,105 --> 00:00:05,239 - YOU CAN'T LEAVE WITH THE HORSESHOE 3 00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:07,708 UNLESS YOU PONY UP... YOUR PHONE NUMBER. 4 00:00:07,708 --> 00:00:09,610 - YOU SAID YOU WERE NEVER EMBARRASSED OF ME. 5 00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:11,445 - I LIED. - I GOT YOU THIS. 6 00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:12,546 all: SURPRISE! 7 00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:16,484 - ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH ME? - I AM SO, SO SORRY, MATTY. 8 00:00:16,484 --> 00:00:17,585 I'M SO SORRY. 9 00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:22,090 - IT HAD BEEN THREE WEEKS SINCE MATTY AND I HAD BROKEN UP. 10 00:00:22,090 --> 00:00:24,692 THREE WEEKS IN WHICH I'D CRIED MY EYES OUT, 11 00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:27,361 BEATEN MYSELF UP, AND EATEN MY WEIGHT IN EGG NOG FRO YO. 12 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,363 IF THE MOURNING PERIOD FOR AN EX 13 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,332 WAS HALF THE LENGTH OF THE RELATIONSHIP, 14 00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:34,702 TECHNICALLY, I WAS STILL GETTING OVER MATTY. 15 00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:37,605 IN REALITY, I HAD MOVED ON, 16 00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:40,841 AND WAS SURPRISINGLY READY TO TRY SOMETHING NEW. 17 00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:43,977 IN FACT, I WAS TRYING A LOT OF NEW THINGS. 18 00:00:43,977 --> 00:00:46,114 MAYBE IT WAS THE PROMISE OF THE NEW YEAR, 19 00:00:46,114 --> 00:00:47,948 OR RESIDUAL HOLIDAY SPIRIT, 20 00:00:47,948 --> 00:00:50,118 BUT I FELT HOPEFUL ABOUT THE TRANSITION. 21 00:00:50,118 --> 00:00:53,187 SURE, MY FRIENDS WERE GOING TO ACCEPT THE CHANGE IN ME, 22 00:00:53,187 --> 00:00:56,090 AND MY RELATIONSHIP. THERE WOULD BE NO TAKING SIDES 23 00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:58,326 OR FORCING PEOPLE TO CHOOSE A TEAM-- 24 00:00:58,326 --> 00:01:03,131 EVEN THOUGH I HAD--AND I WAS DEFINITELY ON TEAM COLLIN. 25 00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:04,798 - I'M TELLING YOU, SHE'S ON TEAM MATTY. 26 00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:08,602 - SADIE IS NOT INTO MATTY. SHE'S JUST USING HIM FOR RIDES. 27 00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:10,037 SINCE SHE'S BEEN CAR-MAXED OUT, 28 00:01:10,037 --> 00:01:12,206 "SUCKS-TON" HAS BEEN MAKING HIM DRIVE HER TO SCHOOL EVERY DAY. 29 00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:14,475 - I DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE GOSSIPING ABOUT MATTY, OKAY? 30 00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:17,010 - TECHNICALLY, WE'RE GOSSIPING, YOU'RE ACCESSORIZING. 31 00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:19,046 - WHEN DID YOU START ACCESSORIZING? 32 00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:21,149 AND WEARING SKINNY JEANS? 33 00:01:21,149 --> 00:01:22,383 AND WHEN DID YOU CHANGE UP YOUR ROOM? 34 00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:23,451 IT'S DIFFERENT. 35 00:01:23,451 --> 00:01:25,186 - SOMETIMES DIFFERENT IS GOOD. 36 00:01:25,186 --> 00:01:27,855 I JUST FELT LIKE IT WAS TIME TO GROW UP. 37 00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:30,057 - OKAY, MS. 401K. 38 00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:32,960 FAR BE IT FROM US TO KEEP YOU FROM YOUR NIGHT AT THE OPERA. 39 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,228 - COLLIN AND I ARE GOING SHOPPING 40 00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:35,463 AT THE SCHOOL CONSIGNMENT STORE. 41 00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:37,030 YOU WANT TO COME? 42 00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:40,701 - IT'S NOT THAT WE DON'T WANT TO HANG WITH YOU AND COLLIN, 43 00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:41,902 IT'S JUST... - WEIRD! 44 00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:43,471 - IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE. 45 00:01:43,471 --> 00:01:44,872 I JUST WANT TO GET BACK TO NORMAL. 46 00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:47,475 - SO DO WE, BUT OUR NORMAL IS JENNA AND MATTY. 47 00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:48,676 - WELL, THERE'S A NEW NORMAL. 48 00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:49,977 AND I'M SURE IF YOU GET TO KNOW COLLIN, 49 00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:51,545 YOU'LL LIKE HIM AS MUCH AS I DO. 50 00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:54,648 - WE'LL HANG NEXT TIME. PROMISE. 51 00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:57,885 [doorbell rings] 52 00:01:57,885 --> 00:01:59,052 - UH, CAN YOU GUYS GET THAT? 53 00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:01,822 AND BE NICE. - I PUNCHED THE GUY ONE TIME 54 00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:03,957 AND YOU CHRIS BROWN-IFY ME. 55 00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:13,066 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO STAND OUT THERE. 56 00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:16,604 EVERYONE IN HERE IS DECENT. IT LOOKS LIKE I'M AU NATUREL, 57 00:02:16,604 --> 00:02:18,272 BUT I SWEAR, I'M WEARING A SPORTS BRA. 58 00:02:18,272 --> 00:02:20,541 - MOM, DON'T SAY THAT IN FRONT OF-- 59 00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:26,914 [keys tapping] 60 00:02:26,914 --> 00:02:29,417 HI. 61 00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:35,823 - I WAS HOPING WE COULD TALK. 62 00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:38,091 - I THINK YOU GIRLS SHOULD LEAVE, AND RUN 63 00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:41,929 INTERFERENCE, SINCE OLIN-SNAY IS ON HIS WAY OVER, OKAY? 64 00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:44,998 - THAT'S NOT HOW YOU SAY IT, BUT I CAN ANSLATE-TRAY. 65 00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:48,669 WE'RE ON IT. 66 00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:49,903 - COME IN! 67 00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:51,872 HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? WHAT'S GOING ON? 68 00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:54,041 - MOM? - HMM? 69 00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:55,509 OH, YOU WANT PRIVACY. 70 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:58,612 DO YOU WANT PRIVACY? - MOM. 71 00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:04,685 THIS IS REALLY WEIRD. 72 00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:11,425 - YEAH. AND THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER. 73 00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:15,463 - MATTY-- - LISTEN, JENNA-- 74 00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:16,897 - NO, YOU TALK FIRST, SINCE YOU'RE THE ONE 75 00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:20,100 WHO CAME OVER TO DO IT. I MEAN... 76 00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:22,035 TALK. 77 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,506 - JENNA, I DON'T WANT YOU TO THINK THAT I HATE YOU. 78 00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:26,740 - I DON'T. 79 00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:27,841 AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO THINK THAT EITHER. 80 00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:29,610 - I DON'T. 81 00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:30,844 - I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT US, 82 00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:33,080 AND IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE. 83 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,383 - THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE BEEN FEELING, 84 00:03:35,383 --> 00:03:37,285 AND THAT'S WHY I THINK WE SHOULD... 85 00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:39,186 - JUST FORGET ABOUT IT. - GET BACK TOGETHER. 86 00:03:41,188 --> 00:03:42,323 I STILL LOVE YOU, JENNA. 87 00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:44,057 - MATTY-- - I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND 88 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,726 HOW WE COULD BE THE WAY WE WERE 89 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,127 AND THEN JUST, WHAT, SHUT IT ALL OFF? 90 00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:48,896 - I DIDN'T. - SO WHY NOT START OVER? 91 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,498 - I CAN'T. - IF I CAN, YOU CAN. 92 00:03:50,498 --> 00:03:52,132 - I CAN'T. - WHY NOT? 93 00:03:52,132 --> 00:03:54,201 - BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO. 94 00:03:54,201 --> 00:03:55,503 I JUST NEED A BREAK. 95 00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:56,904 - I THOUGHT WE WERE ALREADY ON A BREAK? 96 00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,606 - NO, WE'RE BROKEN UP. 97 00:03:58,606 --> 00:04:00,040 WE JUST NEED A BREAK FROM EACH OTHER 98 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,209 SO THAT WE CAN START NEW CHAPTERS IN OUR LIVES, 99 00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:04,412 AND EVENTUALLY BE FRIENDS AGAIN. 100 00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:10,451 - OKAY. 101 00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:12,820 YEAH, SURE. 102 00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:20,828 - MATTY, I REALLY DON'T WANT THIS TO BE WEIRD BETWEEN US... 103 00:04:20,828 --> 00:04:23,331 OR OUR FRIENDS. 104 00:04:23,331 --> 00:04:25,065 - IT WON'T BE. 105 00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:28,569 [door opens, closes] - WHEW. 106 00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:31,605 SO HOW LONG DO YOU THINK THIS BREAK IS GONNA LAST? 107 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,674 I'M ONLY ASKING BECAUSE WE HAVE TICKETS 108 00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:34,875 TO THE NEXT CLIPPERS GAME, 109 00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:37,177 AND YOUR DAD NEEDS SOMEONE TO DO HIGH-IMPACT 110 00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:38,679 HIGH FIVES WITH. 111 00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:40,614 - IF HE NEEDS SOMEONE THERE, WHY DOESN'T HE INVITE COLLIN? 112 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:44,418 - SWEETIE, WITH EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED WITH MATTY? 113 00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:45,919 WELL, IT JUST WOULDN'T BE RIGHT. 114 00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:48,989 BESIDES, WE DON'T EVEN KNOW COLLIN. 115 00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:50,358 - THAT WAS THE PROBLEM. 116 00:04:50,358 --> 00:04:52,493 NO ONE IN MY LIFE KNEW COLLIN. 117 00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:55,262 HE WAS JUST THAT JERK WHO DESTROYED MY RELATIONSHIP, 118 00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:57,631 AND THE UNFORTUNATE VICTIM OF SOME BAD PRESS. 119 00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,400 IT WAS TIME TO CALL A PRESS CONFERENCE. 120 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,069 [bell rings] - YOU WENT TO HAMILTON'S HOUSE? 121 00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:04,438 YOU ARE SUCH A DUMBASS. - I KNOW I'M A DUMBASS. 122 00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:06,474 - I DELETED HER NUMBER, VMs, TEXTS, 123 00:05:06,474 --> 00:05:08,208 AND SKANKY PICS FROM YOUR PHONE. 124 00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:11,011 AND YES, I SAW THE ONE OF HER IN HER TRAINING BRA. 125 00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:12,613 IF ONLY I COULD DELETE THAT FROM MY MEMORY. 126 00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:13,747 - ME TOO. 127 00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:15,616 - PUT AWAY YOUR CRY FACE, MCKIBBEN. 128 00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:16,784 YOU THINK JENNA CHEATING ON YOU 129 00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:19,219 ISN'T A BIG WHORE DEAL, BUT IT IS. 130 00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:21,021 YOU SHOULD HATE HER FOR WHAT SHE DID. 131 00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:22,723 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO HATE HER BECAUSE OF ME. 132 00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:24,291 JENNA DOESN'T WANT EVERYBODY TAKING SIDES. 133 00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:25,959 - WHAT KIND OF [bleep]-UP, 134 00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:27,728 APOCALYPTIC WORLD ARE WE LIVING IN 135 00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:30,698 WHERE JENNA HAMILTON GETS TO CALL THE SHOTS? 136 00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:33,100 [phone chirps] 137 00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:35,202 DEVON IS TEXTING YOU? 138 00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:38,406 AND YOU'RE TEXTING HER, A LOT! 139 00:05:38,406 --> 00:05:40,107 I LOVE DEVON. 140 00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:42,309 WHY AM I CONSOLING YOU WHEN YOU ARE CLEARLY MOVING ON? 141 00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:44,478 - WELL, I'M TAKING IT SLOW. - WHICH MAY BE A PROBLEM, 142 00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:47,114 BECAUSE SLOW IS NOT DEVON'S SPEED. 143 00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:49,750 - OKAY, SO MAYBE I'LL HAVE TO SPEED UP MY PROCESS. 144 00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:52,119 [phone whirs] 145 00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:53,320 - IT'S FROM ME. 146 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:54,588 IT SAYS I'M WALKING TOWARDS YOU, 147 00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:57,791 AND WE'LL BE SAYING "HI" IN ABOUT FOUR SECONDS. 148 00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,226 HI. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 149 00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:01,595 - YOU INVITED ME TO LUNCH. - WHEN? 150 00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:03,230 - AT THE FROZEN YOGURT PLACE. 151 00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:05,433 - WE DIDN'T EVEN SPEAK. 152 00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:09,269 - WE DID, TELEPATHICALLY. OTHERWISE, WHY WOULD I BE HERE? 153 00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:11,772 - BECAUSE YOU'RE A FREAK OF NATURE. 154 00:06:11,772 --> 00:06:13,641 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? [phone camera clicks] 155 00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:15,075 - IT'LL BE EASIER FOR YOU TO REMEMBER 156 00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:16,444 MY FACE IF YOU'RE LOOKING AT A COPY OF ME 157 00:06:16,444 --> 00:06:17,511 INSTEAD OF THE REAL ME. 158 00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:20,748 - YET I PREFER TO FORGET YOU BOTH. 159 00:06:20,748 --> 00:06:22,816 - I'LL HOLD A TABLE IN THE CENTER OF THE QUAD FOR US. 160 00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:24,184 BRING SUNSCREEN. 161 00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:27,120 IT'S BEEN PROVEN TO DELAY THE EFFECTS OF MELANOMA. 162 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:29,790 - A BARBECUE IS THE PERFECT WAY TO EASE THE WEIRDNESS. 163 00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:31,559 YOU KNOW, MAKE THE TRANSITION EASIER? 164 00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:32,660 - WHO'S COMING? - EVERYBODY. 165 00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:35,663 YOU, ME, JAKE, FRED, MING, COLLIN. 166 00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:38,632 - SO EVERYBODY EXCEPT MATTY. - TRUST ME, 167 00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:40,267 MATTY WOULDN'T WANT OUR BREAKUP 168 00:06:40,267 --> 00:06:42,202 TO PUT A DAMPER ON THE GROUP ANY MORE THAN I DO. 169 00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:45,473 - LOOK, I KNOW YOU WANT THIS TO BE ALL EASY, BREEZY, B.C.G., 170 00:06:45,473 --> 00:06:48,509 BUT, LIKE THIS SLOPPY JOE, BREAKUPS ARE MESSY. 171 00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:50,978 - THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME, AND YOU PROMISED. 172 00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:52,212 - [sighs] 173 00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:54,648 I'LL BRING THE PLASTIC ICE CUBES. 174 00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:56,183 - MIND IF I JOIN YOU GUYS? 175 00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:58,318 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING TOMORROW NIGHT? 176 00:06:58,318 --> 00:06:59,553 - WHATEVER YOU WANT ME TO. 177 00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:01,522 - THEN, YOU'RE COMING TO A PARTY AT MY HOUSE. 178 00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:02,923 JUST A HANDFUL OF PEOPLE. 179 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:04,925 TAMARA WILL BE THERE. - WHAT'S UP, IRON FIST? 180 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,927 - [chuckles] OH! 181 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:10,063 THIS TABLE IS TOO SMALL FOR ALL OF US. 182 00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:13,133 JAKE, MATTY, SIT WITH ME ON THE GRASS. 183 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:15,969 MING, FRED, YOU STAY HERE SINCE YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO DEW. 184 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,405 - WHERE DID YOU MEET HIM? 185 00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:20,808 - AT THAT DUMB THADWICK HALLOWEEN PARTY. 186 00:07:20,808 --> 00:07:22,409 HE'S SOME BITCH'S BOO RADLEY BROTHER. 187 00:07:22,409 --> 00:07:24,211 - HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A PSYCHO. 188 00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:26,413 HE'S REALLY CUTE. - TOO BAD HE'S TOUCHED. 189 00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:28,982 - [gasps] BY AN ANGEL? - IN THE HEAD, DIPHOLE. 190 00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:31,151 - SO YOU DON'T LIKE-LIKE HIM. 191 00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:33,386 - IT'S KIND OF HARD FOR ME TO GET IT UP FOR A GUY WHO 192 00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:36,624 PROBABLY HAS DEAD HAMSTERS IN HIS FREEZER. 193 00:07:36,624 --> 00:07:38,759 - SO IF YOU'RE OUT, THEN HE'S AVAILABLE, 194 00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:40,360 LIKE, FOR ME. 195 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,295 - YOU WANT TO DATE AUSTIN? - BUT NO SEX. 196 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,631 I'M RE-VIRGINIZING FOR JESUS. 197 00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:45,232 THEY SAY IF YOU PRAY HARD ENOUGH, 198 00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:47,300 IT CAN GROW BACK. I HOPE IT'S NOT PAINFUL. 199 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,670 HOW DO I LOOK? 200 00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:52,172 - LIKE A FANCY POPSICLE. - [squeals] 201 00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,177 - THAT'S YOUR LUNCH? 202 00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:58,812 PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE NOT "MANOREXIC." 203 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,681 - I'M EXACTLY THE RIGHT WEIGHT FOR MY HEIGHT. 204 00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:02,315 IN ADDITION TO BEING GOOD FOR THE EYES, 205 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,252 CARROTS ARE NATURE'S MOST ATTRACTIVE VEGETABLES. 206 00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:08,188 [chuckles] - [laughs] 207 00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:09,322 - WHO'S THAT ONE? 208 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,759 - I'M LISSA, SADIE'S BEST FRIEND. 209 00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:14,562 SADIE HAS TOLD ME ALL ABOUT YOU. - OF COURSE SHE DID. 210 00:08:14,562 --> 00:08:16,697 SHE'S IN LOVE WITH ME. 211 00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:19,266 - OH, LOOK, THE BUS FROM "CRAZY GO NUTS" HIGH. 212 00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:21,068 DON'T LET IT LEAVE WITHOUT YOU. 213 00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:23,604 BYE. - BUT I STILL HAVE NINE CARROTS. 214 00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:26,006 - CAN I HAVE ONE? 215 00:08:29,577 --> 00:08:32,212 HEY! DID YOU KNOW SADIE'S LAST BOYFRIEND DIED, 216 00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:34,081 AND EVERYONE THOUGHT SHE KILLED HIM? 217 00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:36,650 THAT WAS AFTER THEY THOUGHT SHE WAS PREGNANT WITH HIS BABY. 218 00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:40,621 - IF YOU EVER KILL ME, 219 00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:42,890 I CAN ONLY HOPE YOU'LL KEEP OUR MURDER BABY. 220 00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:44,725 - * I OPENED UP MY EYES 221 00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:49,262 * AND I SAW THE SUNLIGHT IN A NEW WAY * 222 00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:51,098 *IT'S A NEW PHASE * 223 00:08:51,098 --> 00:08:52,933 - I'M NOT GOING TO THAT SAUSAGE PARTY AT JENNA'S. 224 00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:55,603 I'M TAKING A STAND. - AGAINST WHO, MY BEST FRIEND? 225 00:08:55,603 --> 00:08:56,704 - YES, FOR MY BEST FRIEND. 226 00:08:56,704 --> 00:08:58,105 - GO TO THE DAMN BARBECUE. 227 00:08:58,105 --> 00:08:59,640 I SERIOUSLY DON'T CARE. - SEE, JAKE? 228 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,174 HE'S GOOD. IF HE DOESN'T HAVE A PROBLEM 229 00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:02,910 WITH IT, WHY SHOULD YOU? - HE'S NOT GOOD. 230 00:09:02,910 --> 00:09:04,444 HE'S BARELY USING ANY PRODUCT 231 00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:07,314 AND HIS HAIR IS LIMP. AND THAT FACE? 232 00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:09,016 IT'S NOT A HAPPY ONE. 233 00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:11,451 SO YOU HAVE FUN AT THE BARBECUE. I'M NOT GOING. 234 00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:14,521 - * I'M CHANGING EVERYTHING BECAUSE I CAN * 235 00:09:14,521 --> 00:09:17,124 - * WHOA-OH - * I'M LIVIN' UP A NEW LIFE * 236 00:09:17,124 --> 00:09:19,226 - SORRY, MAN. I TRIED. 237 00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,895 - OUR BABIES WOULD LOOK LIKE LITTLE CHANNING TATUMS. 238 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,230 I WONDER IF THEY'LL BE ABLE TO DANCE. 239 00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:24,665 [gasps] OR STRIP. 240 00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:26,266 - WHAT IS YOUR OBSESSION WITH AUSTIN? 241 00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:27,534 YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM. 242 00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:29,402 - HE'S HOT. THAT'S ALL I NEED TO KNOW. 243 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,538 BESIDE, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DATE HIM, 244 00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:32,906 WHY CAN'T I? 245 00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,274 - OF COURSE I DON'T WANT TO DATE HIM. 246 00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:36,409 I COULDN'T EVEN FIT IN HIS JEANS. 247 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,011 [phone beeps] 248 00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:40,280 HEY, IT'S ME. 249 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:44,484 NO, I DON'T MISS YOU. I DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT YOU. 250 00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:47,354 YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH MY FRIEND SATURDAY. 251 00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:49,657 - [squeals] YAY! 252 00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:55,796 - I KNOW YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUT THIS PARTY, 253 00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:57,297 BUT DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO DO THIS. 254 00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,399 YOUR FRIENDS MIGHT NEED SOME TIME TO ADJUST. 255 00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:01,001 - WHAT THEY NEED IS TIME WITH YOU. 256 00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:02,836 - I DON'T WANT THEM FEELING PRESSURE TO TAKE SIDES. 257 00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:05,773 - TRUST ME, NO ONE IS TAKING SIDES. 258 00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:08,642 - I'M TOTALLY ON YOUR SIDE. 259 00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:14,782 - MOM? CAN I SEE YOU IN THE KITCHEN? 260 00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:16,884 - I THINK YOU CAN SEE ME JUST FINE RIGHT HERE. 261 00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:25,959 - YOU CANNOT HANG OUT WITH MATTY. 262 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,561 - I AM NOT HANGING OUT WITH MATTY. 263 00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:30,597 HE'S... 264 00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:32,499 HANGING OUT WITH ME. - BUT YOU'RE MY MOM. 265 00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:34,434 DON'T YOU SEE WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE? 266 00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:39,106 IF YOU'RE GONNA TAKE SIDES, IT HAS TO BE MINE, 267 00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:42,042 WHICH MEANS YOU HAVE TO BREAK UP WITH MATTY TOO. 268 00:10:45,112 --> 00:10:46,880 - WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL, 269 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:50,851 AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW, IT MEANT A LOT TO ME. 270 00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:52,886 - ME TOO. - AND I HATE HAVING TO DO THIS. 271 00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:54,688 - SO DON'T. - I HAVE TO. 272 00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:58,959 OUR TIMING IS JUST-- [sighs]--OFF. 273 00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:02,763 BUT I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU AS A FRIEND, 274 00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:05,833 BUT I HAVE TO. YOU SHOULD KNOW, 275 00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:07,801 IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME. 276 00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:13,741 ACTUALLY, IT'S JENNA. - I'M GONNA GO. 277 00:11:13,741 --> 00:11:16,543 GOOD-BYE, MRS. HAMILTON. 278 00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:18,478 - MATTY, WAIT! 279 00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:24,151 TAKE THESE TO REMEMBER ME BY. 280 00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:30,858 - IRON FIST HERE? - NO ONE IS. 281 00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:32,592 SHOULD I BE WORRIED? - NO. 282 00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:34,795 YOU SHOULD BE KISSED. 283 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,368 - WHOA-HO. 284 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,536 HI, COLLIN. 285 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,205 - MR. HAMILTON. HOW ARE YOU, SIR? 286 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:48,608 - GOOD. JUST MANNING THE GRILL. 287 00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:50,978 TAKING MY TIME WITH THE BURGERS. 288 00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:57,184 COOKING THEM REAL SLOW. 289 00:11:57,184 --> 00:12:00,353 YOU GOTTA COOK 'EM REAL, REAL SLOW... 290 00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:01,889 SO NOTHING GETS BURNED. 291 00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:05,926 - *I WAS LIVING ALL IN MY MIND * 292 00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:10,964 - JENNA SURE IS GOING THROUGH BOYS FAST. 293 00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:13,700 - MM, IT MUST BE SO WEIRD FOR YOU. 294 00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,836 ALL THOSE TAUT, MASCULINE BODIES 295 00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:17,204 PARADING THROUGH THE HOUSE 296 00:12:17,204 --> 00:12:20,040 IN LOW-HANGING BOARD SHORTS AND TANK TOPS. 297 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,674 - THEY'RE JUST BOYS. 298 00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:24,812 - YEAH, BUT THE AGE GAP IS RAPIDLY CLOSING. 299 00:12:24,812 --> 00:12:26,914 I'M SURE YOU CAN'T HELP BUT TO FIND YOURSELF ATTRACTED 300 00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:29,382 TO THE ONES THAT HAVE MOVED INTO THEIR MAN BODIES. 301 00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:31,218 - OH, I CAN HELP IT. 302 00:12:31,218 --> 00:12:33,153 - HI, MS. HAMILTON. 303 00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:34,487 MS. MARKS. 304 00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:36,489 - HEY. - WHERE ARE YOU TWO GOING? 305 00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:37,825 - TO A BARBECUE. - OH. 306 00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:39,359 I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T LIKE BARBECUES. 307 00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,061 - OH, I NEVER SAID THAT. 308 00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:44,697 BUT SINCE YOU'RE SO INTO BARBECUES, 309 00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:46,633 AND THEY'RE SO IMPORTANT TO YOU, 310 00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:49,870 I THOUGHT I'D GIVE THEM A SHOT. 311 00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:53,140 - [whispering] THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT YOU. 312 00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:55,742 - I WOULD LOVE IT IF YOU BOTH COULD STAY. 313 00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:58,445 - WHY, THANK YOU, COLLIN. WE WILL. 314 00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,447 - GREAT. - SUCH A SWEETIE. 315 00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,850 FEEL FREE TO CHANGE INTO YOUR BOARD SHORTS AT ANY TIME. 316 00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:10,858 - HE'S NO MATTY. - NOT EVEN CLOSE. 317 00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:13,894 TO MATTY. 318 00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:15,963 - I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST MADE ME SIT THROUGH THAT MOVIE. 319 00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:18,098 - I CAN'T BELIEVE I MADE MYSELF SIT THROUGH IT. 320 00:13:18,098 --> 00:13:20,934 WHY DO PEOPLE THINK ANNE HATHAWAY IS A GOOD ACTRESS? 321 00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:22,735 - HMM, SHE'S SEXY. 322 00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:23,904 - I KNOW IT'S COMMON KNOWLEDGE, 323 00:13:23,904 --> 00:13:27,140 BUT YOU HAVE TERRIBLE TASTE IN WOMEN... 324 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:30,043 EXCEPT FOR DEVON! 325 00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:32,880 AND YOU SHOULD GET ON THAT ASAP. 326 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,681 - YEAH, MAYBE I WILL. 327 00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:36,917 YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DISTRACT ME ALL AFTERNOON. 328 00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:39,252 IT'S JUST A STUPID BARBECUE. 329 00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:40,387 I CAN HANDLE IT. [phone chirps] 330 00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:43,023 - ACTUALLY, YOU'RE DISTRACTING ME. 331 00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:45,893 "DEXTER" IS STILL CALLING AND TEXTING ME 332 00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:48,761 A BILLION TIMES A DAY. - OH. 333 00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:50,898 WOW, YEAH, HE'S HOT. 334 00:13:50,898 --> 00:13:52,232 AND YOU LIKE HIM. 335 00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:53,433 - I DO NOT. 336 00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:55,502 - THEN WHY IS HIS PICTURE IN YOUR PHONE? 337 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,304 - THE PSYCHO PUT IT IN THERE. 338 00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:58,371 - YEAH, BUT YOU DIDN'T DELETE IT. 339 00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,140 - WHATEVER. 340 00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:01,441 HE'S INTO LISSA. 341 00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:03,443 - THEN WHY IS HE TEXTING YOU? 342 00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:04,777 - ANYONE SEEN MY PHONE? 343 00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:05,913 [bleep]! JENNA IS GONNA THINK 344 00:14:05,913 --> 00:14:07,080 WE'RE SHOWING UP LATE ON PURPOSE. 345 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,916 - AREN'T WE? - FORGET ABOUT YOUR PHONE. 346 00:14:08,916 --> 00:14:10,017 LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH ALREADY. 347 00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:11,251 - DO YOU THINK I WANT TO DO THIS? 348 00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:12,585 - YOU MADE IT PRETTY CLEAR THAT YOU DID YESTERDAY. 349 00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:14,421 - I PUNCHED COLLIN IN THE FACE, 350 00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:15,923 AND HAD TO KEEP THE SECRET ABOUT THEIR AFFAIR. 351 00:14:15,923 --> 00:14:17,925 I REALLY DON'T WANT TO GO. 352 00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:23,630 - YOU KNEW ABOUT JENNA CHEATING ON MATTY 353 00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:26,333 BEFORE HER PARTY AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME? 354 00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:29,536 - I WAS SWORN TO SECRECY. 355 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,304 - MATTY IS MY BEST FRIEND. 356 00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:32,739 I COULD HAVE WARNED HIM SO THAT 357 00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:35,008 HE DIDN'T HAVE TO BE MADE AN ASS OF IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. 358 00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:37,777 JENNA HUMILIATED HIM, THE WAY THAT SHE HUMILIATED ME. 359 00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:39,746 - WHY DO YOU KEEP BRINGING THAT UP? 360 00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:40,847 - OH, I'M DONE BRINGING IT UP. 361 00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:43,316 YOU'LL NEVER HEAR IT FROM ME AGAIN... 362 00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:46,086 OR ANYTHING ELSE FOR THAT MATTER. 363 00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:52,259 [door slams] - [crying] 364 00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:53,560 - SO NO BARBECUE? 365 00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:56,329 - WITH TAMARA INVOLVED, 366 00:14:56,329 --> 00:14:58,098 I KNEW MY FRIENDS WOULD BE FASHIONABLY LATE. 367 00:14:58,098 --> 00:15:00,233 BUT, AFTER AN HOUR, THEY WERE BORDERING 368 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,969 ON FASHIONABLY MISSING MY PARTY, 369 00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:04,437 WHICH HAD ALREADY BEEN DOWNGRADED TO A LAME COOKOUT... 370 00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:06,974 [door sliding] 371 00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:09,709 BECAUSE NO ONE UNDER 30 HAD SHOWN UP. 372 00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:12,379 - WHERE ARE ALL THE HOTTIES? - HOT DOGS. 373 00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:14,047 SHE MEANS HOT DOGS. 374 00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:15,615 - JENNA, I'VE GOT TO TAKE THESE BURGERS OFF. 375 00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,450 ANY MORE FIRE AND THEY'LL BE CREMATED. 376 00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:19,386 - LET'S JUST WAIT FOR EVERYBODY ELSE. 377 00:15:21,888 --> 00:15:23,623 - [grunts] 378 00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:25,525 NO ONE WAS ANSWERING THE FRONT DOOR. 379 00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:27,294 SORRY I'M LATE. - NO WORRIES. 380 00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:28,996 WHERE'S MING? - WE DROVE SEPARATELY. 381 00:15:28,996 --> 00:15:31,531 YOU KNOW, THE HUANGS. SO OVERPROTECTIVE. 382 00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:33,633 MING TEXTED. THEY'RE RUNNING LATE. 383 00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:36,536 - HOW LATE? [phone whooshes] 384 00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:38,471 - THEY'RE NOT COMING. 385 00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:42,842 - I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY BAILED. 386 00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:44,611 - JENNA, PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR SHOES. 387 00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,046 YOU'RE ASKING THEM TO HANG OUT WITH THE GUY 388 00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:48,281 WHO BROKE UP THEIR FRIENDS. 389 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:50,183 - I'M SORRY. - DON'T BE. 390 00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:51,884 THEY DON'T HAVE TO LIKE ME. 391 00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:55,055 HEY, COME HERE. 392 00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:58,225 THE ONLY PERSON I CARE WHO LIKES ME IS YOU. 393 00:15:58,225 --> 00:16:00,360 - WHY CAN'T THEY BE HAPPY THAT I'M HAPPY? 394 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,830 - THEY'LL COME AROUND. - AND IF THEY DON'T? 395 00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:05,398 - TIME WILL TELL. 396 00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:07,067 THERE ARE SOME FRIENDS WHO ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES, 397 00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:09,469 AND SOME WHO ARE HAND SLAPPERS. 398 00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:10,937 MY GRANDMOTHER SAYS IT. 399 00:16:10,937 --> 00:16:13,040 IT'S LIKE WHEN A KID DOES SOMETHING THEY SHOULDN'T, 400 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:14,307 AND YOU SLAP THEIR HAND. IT DOESN'T HURT, 401 00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:16,243 BUT IT SENDS A MESSAGE. 402 00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:18,911 - OH, YOU'RE WRONG. IT DOES HURT. 403 00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:20,147 DO YOU THINK THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ABOUT? 404 00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:21,581 - MAYBE. 405 00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:23,450 I DON'T WANT TO COME BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS, 406 00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:26,186 SO IF YOU NEED US TO TAKE A STEP BACK, WE CAN. 407 00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:28,455 - NO. 408 00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:30,690 I JUST NEED TO TALK TO THEM. 409 00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:33,460 - OKAY. WELL, I'M AROUND. 410 00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:35,395 IF YOU NEED ME, JUST CALL. 411 00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:43,303 - I HAD BEEN HOLDING BACK MY FEELINGS, 412 00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:45,238 BUT IT WAS TIME TO GET THEM OUT. 413 00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:50,077 - IT'S TAMARA. YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. 414 00:16:50,077 --> 00:16:52,079 - ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. 415 00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,383 [phone chirps] - [giggles] 416 00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:58,585 - WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? 417 00:16:58,585 --> 00:16:59,719 YOU LAUGHED. 418 00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:02,255 AND NOT AT HIM-- WITH HIM. 419 00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:03,856 YOU REALLY LIKE HIM. - SHUT UP. 420 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,558 - WHY DON'T YOU GO FOR IT? 421 00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:06,926 - BECAUSE IT WOULD NEVER WORK. 422 00:17:06,926 --> 00:17:08,928 BECAUSE MY LIFE SUCKS, 423 00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:10,397 AND NOTHING GOOD EVER HAPPENS TO ME. 424 00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:12,265 - YOUR LIFE SUCKS? TRY BEING ME FOR A DAY. 425 00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:13,800 - [scoffs] 426 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:14,934 YOU WANNA GO THERE, MCKIBBEN? 427 00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:17,337 BECAUSE I WILL WIN THIS SUCK-FEST. 428 00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:18,671 - NO WAY. 429 00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:20,273 MY GIRLFRIEND CHEATED ON ME, 430 00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:21,674 AND I FOUND OUT ALONG WITH A DOZEN 431 00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:22,942 OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS. 432 00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:24,811 AND I WANT TO BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THE GUY, 433 00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:26,746 BUT I CAN'T, BECAUSE EVERYONE EXPECTS ME 434 00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:28,014 TO BE THE DICK IN THIS SITUATION, 435 00:17:28,014 --> 00:17:30,117 AND I REFUSE TO GIVE THEM THE SATISFACTION. 436 00:17:30,117 --> 00:17:33,120 - MY BOYFRIEND CHEATED ON ME WITH A DUDE, 437 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,887 THEN SCREWED MY BEST FRIEND AND THEN DIED, 438 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,323 AND EVERYBODY THOUGHT I KILLED HIM. 439 00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:37,557 NOT DONE YET. 440 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:38,791 THEN MY PARENTS WENT BROKE, 441 00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:40,327 SO WE HAD TO SELL THE HOUSE, THE CARS, 442 00:17:40,327 --> 00:17:41,461 AND NOW THEY'RE DIVORCING. 443 00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:43,596 AND THE DUNG ICING ON MY CRAP CUPCAKE-- 444 00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:45,665 MY DAD AUCTIONED OFF MY BELOVED HORSE, 445 00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:49,035 PRISCILLA, QUEEN OF THE DESERT. 446 00:17:49,035 --> 00:17:52,139 - YOU WIN. YOUR LIFE DOES SUCK. 447 00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:55,942 [both laugh] 448 00:17:55,942 --> 00:17:57,910 AND THAT'S WHY YOU GOTTA GIVE THIS GUY A SHOT. 449 00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,280 BUT IF YOU'RE TOO MUCH OF A PUSSY TO MAKE A MOVE, 450 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:03,383 I WILL, BECAUSE THAT IS ONE SEXY DUDE. 451 00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:09,856 [phone beeps] 452 00:18:09,856 --> 00:18:14,194 - LISS, YOU CAN'T DATE AUSTIN. 453 00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:17,730 TURNS OUT HE'S SEEING SOMEONE ELSE. 454 00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:18,965 ME. 455 00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:21,634 - I NEVER WANT TO SEE HIS STUPID FACE AGAIN! 456 00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:23,170 HE IS SUCH A JERK. 457 00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:24,537 HIS MOM SHOULD HAVE NAMED HIM JERK ROSATI. 458 00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:26,038 - YOU ARE SUCH A DRAMA-NATRIX. 459 00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:27,674 TELL HIM YOU'RE SORRY AND MOVE ON. 460 00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:29,176 - OH, NO. 461 00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:30,977 WE ARE SO LATE FOR JENNA'S PARTY. 462 00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:32,312 SHE IS GONNA KILL US. 463 00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:34,647 - NO, I ALREADY TEXTED FRED, LIKE, A HALF HOUR AGO 464 00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:35,815 TO TELL HER WE'RE NOT COMING. 465 00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:38,451 [phone chiming] SOMEONE'S TEXT-BOMBING. 466 00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:39,719 THEY'RE FROM JENNA. 467 00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:41,921 WHOA. - WHAT? 468 00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:44,224 [gasps] - IT JUST KEEPS COMING. 469 00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:45,558 [phones chiming] 470 00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:47,760 - "YOU ARE IMMATURE AND UNEVOLVED, 471 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,762 AND CAN'T BE HAPPY BECAUSE I'M HAPPY"? 472 00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:51,964 - I SERIOUSLY HAVE SKULL SHOCK. WHAT'S A HAND SLAPPER? 473 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:54,734 - WE'VE GOTTA CALL HER. 474 00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:56,869 [phone beeps] - NOW YOU CALL. 475 00:18:56,869 --> 00:18:58,671 - WE CAN EXPLAIN. - [scoffs] 476 00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:00,373 ACTIONS SPEAK WAY LOUDER THAN WORDS. 477 00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:03,075 - I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT. YOUR TEXT WAS PRETTY LOUD. 478 00:19:03,075 --> 00:19:04,844 - OH, SO NOW YOU'RE GONNA BLAME THIS ON ME? 479 00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:07,914 - HEY, JAKE AND I HAD A HUGE FIGHT BECAUSE OF YOU. 480 00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:09,316 - WELL, YOU AND JAKE WOULDN'T EVEN BE TOGETHER 481 00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:11,351 IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME. - HOW DO YOU FIGURE THAT? 482 00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:13,119 - BECAUSE MOST FRIENDS WOULDN'T BE COOL 483 00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:15,121 WITH THEIR FRIENDS DATING THEIR EXES, 484 00:19:15,121 --> 00:19:17,990 AND YOU DID IT TWO SECONDS AFTER JAKE AND I BROKE UP. 485 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,292 - I WOULD HAVE NEVER DONE IT 486 00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:21,093 IF I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE OKAY WITH IT. 487 00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:22,862 - WELL, I WASN'T. BUT I GUESS YOU COULDN'T 488 00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:24,264 GET YOUR OWN GUY, SO YOU HAD TO GO 489 00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:25,632 FOR MY SLOPPY SECONDS. 490 00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,900 [bleep] NOT COOL, J. 491 00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:29,502 - OF COURSE YOU WOULD SIDE WITH HER, MING. 492 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,970 YOU'RE SUCH A FOLLOWER. 493 00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:32,305 - I'M OUT. 494 00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:34,974 - WERE THEY SERVING "CRAY" POUPON AT YOUR BARBECUE? 495 00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:36,643 'CAUSE YOU'RE ACTING INSANE. 496 00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:39,011 - NO, "INSANE" IS BLOWING OFF MY PARTY 497 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,713 AND NOT EVEN BOTHERING TO CALL. 498 00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:42,249 - THIS IS NOT YOU. 499 00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:44,251 YOU ARE NOT JUST CHANGING THE WAY YOU DRESS. 500 00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:45,752 YOU'RE CHANGING YOUR PERSONALITY FOR THIS GUY. 501 00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:47,320 AND YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE IT. 502 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:50,590 - WHAT YOU CAN'T SEE IS THAT YOU ARE DISLOYAL BACKSTABBERS, 503 00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:52,792 AND YOU ARE TOTALLY TAKING SIDES. 504 00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:54,160 - ACTUALLY, THAT'S NOT TRUE. 505 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,329 WE WEREN'T TAKING SIDES, BUT WE ARE NOW. 506 00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:58,898 AND WE ARE NOT ON YOURS. 507 00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:01,000 - FINE! 508 00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:05,638 - THINGS HAD BEEN SAID THAT I KNEW 509 00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:08,174 COULDN'T BE TAKEN BACK. 510 00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:10,943 AND I REALIZED GOING TO 11 ON THE FREAK-OMETER 511 00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:14,013 DIDN'T HELP ANYTHING, BUT I KNEW WHAT WOULD. 512 00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:16,583 IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO EMBRACE A NEW KIND OF CHANGE. 513 00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:19,185 IF MY FRIENDS WERE GOING TO TAKE SIDES... 514 00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:22,289 [hard rock music] 515 00:20:22,289 --> 00:20:26,793 * 516 00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:29,929 THEN I WOULD TOO. 517 00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:33,533 - * EYES 518 00:20:33,533 --> 00:20:37,069 * TELL A LOT TONIGHT 519 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:41,541 - NEXT, ON AWKWARD... - THAT'S NOT JENNA. 520 00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:43,009 THAT'S THE GIRL THAT CHEATED ON YOU. 521 00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:44,611 NOT TO MENTION, THAT GIRL ALMOST GOT ARRESTED. 522 00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:46,112 - IS MATTY DATING SOMEONE NEW? 523 00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:48,448 - YOU DON'T GET TO ASK WHO MATTY'S DATING. 524 00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:50,817 - BUT HER NAME IS DEVON. ARE YOU DEVON-STATED? 525 00:20:50,817 --> 00:20:52,319 - PEOPLE BREAK UP, BUT YOUR FRIENDS ARE SUPPOSED 526 00:20:52,319 --> 00:20:54,454 TO STAY ON YOUR SIDE. - YOU'RE STARTING TO FIXATE. 527 00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:55,822 - I HAD FINALLY LEFT MY HEAD AND WAS STARTING TO PROCESS 528 00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:57,056 AND WAS STARTING TO PROCESS 529 00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:58,458 HOW FAR WE'D GOTTEN IN COLLIN'S BED. 39070

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