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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:04,004 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:05,206 - JENNA! 3 00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:07,341 THEY NEED TO KNOW THEIR SON IS HAVING SEX. 4 00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:09,177 - I FOUND THINGS. CONDOM WRAPPERS. 5 00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:11,445 - MOM... - JENNA WON'T GET PREGNANT. 6 00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:13,047 I PUT HER ON THE PILL. 7 00:00:13,047 --> 00:00:14,548 [laughs] 8 00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:17,285 - CAN I CRASH HERE FOR THE NIGHT? 9 00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:21,522 - FOR A WEEK, MATTY HAD BEEN ON MY LIVING ROOM COUCH 10 00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:22,690 WITH FULL PARENTAL CONSENT. 11 00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,292 WE WERE LIVING IN SIN 12 00:00:24,292 --> 00:00:26,026 WITH CONSTANT EASY ACCESS... 13 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,496 [drill whirring] - * I SEE YOU EVERY TIME 14 00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:29,597 - FOR MY DAD. 15 00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:32,266 [squeals] - * I CLOSE MY EYES 16 00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:33,801 * THE EVENING SHADOWS 17 00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:35,002 - "WHILE LIVING UNDER A MICROSCOPE 18 00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:36,570 "WAS NOT ALWAYS IDEAL, 19 00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:38,472 "I WAS WILLING TO MAKE THE SACRIFICE 20 00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:41,442 "TO BE UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL TO THE PERFECT SPECIMEN 21 00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:44,145 "OTHERWISE KNOWN AS MY BOYFRIEND. 22 00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:47,615 HE WAS MASSIVELY HOT, WISE, AND--" 23 00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:48,882 INTRUSIVE. 24 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,784 BUT, GIVEN OUR INTIMATE PROXIMITY, 25 00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:53,421 WE HAD GROWN CLOSE. 26 00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:56,190 ONE COULD ARGUE TOO CLOSE... 27 00:00:57,758 --> 00:00:59,327 FOR COMFORT. 28 00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:07,135 [alarm beeping] - [groans] 29 00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:09,737 MATTY'S "STAYCATION" AT MY HOUSE HAD BEEN EXCITING. 30 00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:12,140 UNTIL MY LIPS STARTED TO CRACK FROM OVERUSE. 31 00:01:12,140 --> 00:01:13,907 THEIR RECOVERY REQUIRED A LITTLE EXTRA TIME 32 00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,243 IN THE BATHROOM. 33 00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:18,146 SO I HAD TO MAKE SURE I GOT THERE BEFORE HE DID. 34 00:01:18,146 --> 00:01:19,747 - MORNING. 35 00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:21,649 - OR I WOULD NEVER GET TO USE IT. 36 00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:23,151 [splurt] 37 00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:26,454 - ISN'T THERE A BATHROOM YOU CAN DO THIS IN? 38 00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:29,490 - NO. MOM IS IN YOURS. MATTY IS IN MINE. 39 00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:32,326 AND THE GUEST SINK IS TOO SMALL. 40 00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:34,528 [water running] AGH! COLD, COLD! 41 00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:35,729 OOH. 42 00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:37,731 NOW THERE IS NO HOT WATER. 43 00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:39,367 WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING IN THERE? 44 00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:42,002 - HMM. MIXIN' THE CREAMER. 45 00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:43,204 BOYS HAVE NEEDS. 46 00:01:43,204 --> 00:01:45,038 YOU KNOW, FOR THEIR HYGIENE. 47 00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:47,308 - DAD...I NEED YOUR HELP. 48 00:01:47,308 --> 00:01:49,410 IT'S BEEN FUN HAVING MATTY HERE AND ALL, 49 00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:51,945 BUT I NEED MY SPACE BACK. 50 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,214 AND MY BATHROOM. 51 00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:54,548 THINK YOU COULD MAKE A SUBTLE INQUIRY 52 00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:57,218 INTO HIS TIMETABLE FOR VACATING THE PREMISES? 53 00:01:57,218 --> 00:01:59,187 - HE'S GOING THROUGH SOME TOUGH STUFF ON THE HOME FRONT. 54 00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:00,288 WE NEED TO BE SUPPORTIVE. 55 00:02:00,288 --> 00:02:01,655 - LIKE MOM'S BRAS? 56 00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:03,524 NOTICE SHE'S BEEN WEARING BIGGER PUSHUPS LATELY? 57 00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:04,858 - NO. - WELL, SHE HAS, 58 00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:07,761 AND I CAN GUARANTEE THEY'RE NOT FOR YOU. 59 00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:09,330 - GOOD MORNING! 60 00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:12,300 THANKS, BABE. 61 00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:14,101 - ARE YOU WEARING A NEW BRA? 62 00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:15,369 - WHY, YES, I AM. 63 00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:17,004 - YOU KNOW, I THINK IT'S TIME FOR MATTY TO-- 64 00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:18,306 - TOSS MY SHEETS IN THE LAUNDRY. 65 00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:19,773 ARE YOU SURE YOUR WANT ME TO LEAVE THE COMFORTER 66 00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:21,209 FOLDED ON THE COUCH? I CAN HIDE IT. 67 00:02:21,209 --> 00:02:22,310 - DON'T SWEAT IT, HONEY. 68 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,977 THE FACT THAT YOU EVEN MADE YOUR BED 69 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:27,315 IS MORE THAN I CAN SAY FOR... OTHER PEOPLE. 70 00:02:27,315 --> 00:02:28,649 - THE MORNING DIG. 71 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:31,219 FOR MY MOTHER, IT WAS THE BEST PART OF WAKING UP. 72 00:02:31,219 --> 00:02:33,787 - KEVIN, THE GARAGE DOOR IS STILL STUCK. 73 00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,323 I HAD TO PARK ON THE STREET LAST NIGHT. 74 00:02:35,323 --> 00:02:36,957 DO YOU KNOW WHAT A DASH-AND-DRIZZLE 75 00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:38,692 DOES TO A BLOWOUT? - NOT A CLUE. 76 00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:40,328 - I COULD TAKE A LOOK AT THE GARAGE DOOR. 77 00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:41,462 MAYBE THIS WEEKEND? 78 00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:43,096 - EXCELLENT. 79 00:02:44,332 --> 00:02:46,267 - I ALMOST FORGOT. 80 00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:53,707 - LUNCH? YOU HAVEN'T MADE ME LUNCH SINCE KINDERGARTEN. 81 00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:56,244 - AND I FEEL REALLY BAD ABOUT THAT. 82 00:02:56,244 --> 00:02:58,111 SO I'M MAKING UP FOR LOST TIME. 83 00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:00,414 - HE MAY NEVER LEAVE. 84 00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:02,250 MATTY GETS THE COW, THE MILK, 85 00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:03,551 AND TO LIVE IN THE BARN FOR FREE. 86 00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:05,986 AND YOU NEED TO DO A BETTER JOB WITH YOUR WAKEUP MAKEUP. 87 00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:07,421 - I'M NOT WEARING ANY MAKEUP. 88 00:03:07,421 --> 00:03:09,257 - MAYBE YOU SHOULD. YOU'RE STARTING TO LOOK OLD. 89 00:03:09,257 --> 00:03:11,259 YOU COULD EASILY PASS FOR 25. - THANKS. 90 00:03:11,259 --> 00:03:12,893 - AND WHAT'S UP WITH THE ANGEL HAIR? 91 00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:14,595 - OH, IT'S FRIZZY FROM MY WHORE BATH. 92 00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:16,430 - NO, I MEAN... 93 00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:18,499 THE ANGEL HAIR. 94 00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:20,100 - PASTA. MATTY'S FAVORITE. 95 00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:22,069 WE HAVE HAD IT EVERY NIGHT. 96 00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:23,271 - WHY SHOULD YOU BE FORCED TO CARBO LOAD 97 00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:24,638 BECAUSE HE RAN AWAY FROM HOME? 98 00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:26,139 DOES HE KNOW HOW CRAMPED YOU FEEL? 99 00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:28,276 - I'M TRYING TO HIDE IT. BUT HOW CAN HE BE SO OBLIVIOUS? 100 00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:30,444 - IT IS LIKE LIVING AT A RESORT 101 00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:33,414 THAT SERVES SEX, SPAGHETTI, AND SPORTS CENTER. 102 00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:35,148 I DON'T EVEN MISS HOME. - REALLY? 103 00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:36,984 - NOPE, NOT AT ALL. I AM MORE THAN COMFORTABLE. 104 00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:38,085 - YOU HAVEN'T WORN OUT YOUR WELCOME? 105 00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:39,853 - PSH, NAH. JENNA'S COOL WITH IT. 106 00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:41,088 - I AM SO NOT COOL WITH IT. 107 00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:43,757 - WE SHARE EVERYTHING-- HER BATHROOM, DEODORANT. 108 00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,326 - I THINK HE'S BEEN USING MY TOOTHBRUSH. 109 00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:48,362 - UCK! - SHE LETS ME WATCH SPORTS 24/7. 110 00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:50,298 - HE CLEARED MY TiVo FOR ESPN. 111 00:03:50,298 --> 00:03:51,865 - WHAT ABOUT THE REAL HOUSEWIVES? 112 00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:54,001 - IT'S AS IF THEY WERE NEVER REAL AT ALL. 113 00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:55,068 - ARE YOU GETTING ANY ACTION? 114 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,103 - NIGHTLY. 115 00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:57,605 - EVERY...NIGHT. 116 00:03:57,605 --> 00:03:58,739 - HOW DO YOU POOP WHEN HE'S ALWAYS 117 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,508 HIJACKING YOUR SAFE SPACE? - I DON'T. 118 00:04:00,508 --> 00:04:02,175 - WHAT? HE'S BEEN AT YOUR HOUSE FOR OVER A WEEK. 119 00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:04,011 - I KNOW. - JENNA, A BACKUP LIKE THAT 120 00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:06,179 COULD EASILY BECOME A BLOWUP. HE HAS TO MOVE OUT. 121 00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:07,781 - YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE. 122 00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:08,916 - OH, HEY. 123 00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:11,184 - HEY. - JENNA, HOW YOU DOING? 124 00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:12,853 - HI. 125 00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:14,922 - OH. UM... 126 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,557 I SHOULD GET TO CLASS. 127 00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:19,527 - DON'T FORGET TO TAKE YOUR PILL. 128 00:04:19,527 --> 00:04:21,329 YOUR MOM TOLD ME TO REMIND YOU. 129 00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:26,033 - HEY! I WANTED TO MAKE SURE 130 00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,234 YOU'RE BRINGING ALCOHOL TONIGHT. 131 00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:28,702 - I'M ALWAYS DOWN FOR A BOOZE SCHMOOZE. 132 00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:29,903 WHAT ARE WE DOING? 133 00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:31,572 - THE ANNUAL CHEER SLEEPOVER AT SADIE'S. 134 00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:32,606 DIDN'T YOU GET THE EMAIL? 135 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:33,607 - NO. 136 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,443 - MAYBE IT WENT TO SPAM. - MAYBE. 137 00:04:35,443 --> 00:04:36,644 DID YOU GET THE ONE ABOUT POM-POM HYGIENE? 138 00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:37,745 - PURELLED AND POLISHED. 139 00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:39,079 - THE NEW DANCE PANTS? - HIGH CUT. 140 00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:40,948 - AND I WONDER WHAT KIND OF... 141 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:43,984 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 142 00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:55,963 ACTUALLY, THERE'S NOT GONNA BE A SLEEPOVER THIS YEAR. 143 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,499 I GOT CONFUSED. IT HAPPENS. 144 00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,634 BYE! 145 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,370 - SHE JUST FROZE ME OUT. 146 00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:03,837 - WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO SPEND A NIGHT AT SADIE'S ANYWAY? 147 00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:06,674 - BECAUSE SHE IS STILL TREATING ME LIKE I'M THE CHEER ALTERNATE 148 00:05:06,674 --> 00:05:08,509 WHEN I AM THE CHEER ULTIMATE. 149 00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:09,910 I'M GOING TO THAT PARTY. - ARE YOU SURE? 150 00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:11,979 - YES! SLEEPOVERS ARE GAME CHANGERS. 151 00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,981 AND I GIVE PROFESSIONAL SLEEPOVER. 152 00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:17,150 THE KEY IS NOT TO SLEEP UNTIL IT'S OVER. 153 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,252 - AND THEN WE HIKED OUT OF THE CANYON 154 00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:21,188 AND BACK INTO REALITY. 155 00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:25,959 MY GUIDE WAS GONE, AND SUDDENLY... 156 00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:29,497 MY LIFE MADE SENSE. 157 00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:35,102 - ARE YOU DONE? I COULDN'T TELL. 158 00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:37,671 HAMILTON, WHAT'D YOU THINK? 159 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,239 - [clears throat] 160 00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:42,443 I THOUGHT IT WAS... 161 00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:45,012 A LITTLE PRETENTIOUS. 162 00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,580 - REALLY? - YEAH. 163 00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:48,616 TAKING ACID IN THE DESERT, QUOTING HUNTER S. THOMPSON, 164 00:05:48,616 --> 00:05:50,718 AND WRITING ABOUT A HALF-PEYOTE SHAMAN 165 00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:52,753 THAT YOU HALLUCINATED-- IT'S CLICHE 166 00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:54,087 AND OBVIOUS. 167 00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:56,056 - EASY, HAMILTON, YOU'RE DESCRIBING MY EARLY 20s. 168 00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:57,758 [laughter] 169 00:05:57,758 --> 00:05:59,893 THEN AGAIN, I WAS A STUPID KID. 170 00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:02,530 I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND LIFE. 171 00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:05,298 OR PAIN. OR LOVE. 172 00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:07,000 OR HOW TO WRITE A DAMN THING... 173 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:10,203 THAT WASN'T AN ATTEMPT TO SEEM COOL. 174 00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:15,108 HUMILITY, MR. JENNINGS. 175 00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:18,011 IT'S A VERY IMPORTANT PART OF THE PROCESS. 176 00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:21,114 AND, ALTHOUGH I DON'T AGREE WITH "HAMBIEN" OVER HERE, 177 00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:23,116 SHE DOES MAKE A GOOD POINT. 178 00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:25,453 IT'S EASY TO GO WHERE EXPECTED, GUYS. 179 00:06:25,453 --> 00:06:27,455 DON'T GO THERE. 180 00:06:27,455 --> 00:06:29,289 NOW... 181 00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:30,591 MS. HAMILTON. 182 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:43,336 - OOH! SORRY. SORRY. [laughter] 183 00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:44,505 - YOU OKAY? - YEAH, I-- 184 00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:47,274 JUST A LITTLE SLEEP DEPRIVATION AT HOME. 185 00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:49,543 - MY SUGGESTION: GRAB A NICE GLASS OF WARM MILK 186 00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:50,544 WITH ONE OF YOUR ESSAYS. 187 00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:51,679 IF YOU'RE ANYTHING LIKE ME, 188 00:06:51,679 --> 00:06:53,146 IT'LL KNOCK YOU RIGHT OUT. 189 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:55,516 [school bell rings] 190 00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:57,718 - ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT, TURDS. SEE YOU GUYS LATER. 191 00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:01,589 - JENNA. 192 00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:03,791 I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU. 193 00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:05,593 - FOR WHAT? - YOUR CANDOR IN CLASS. 194 00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:07,661 - LISTEN, I AM TIRED AND OUT OF IT. 195 00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:09,497 I DON'T HAVE PATIENCE FOR YOUR SARCASM. 196 00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:10,931 - I WASN'T BEING SARCASTIC. 197 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,567 IT WAS SINCERE. YOU WERE RIGHT. 198 00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:15,703 MY STORY WAS PRETENTIOUS, AND I'M OKAY WITH THAT. 199 00:07:15,703 --> 00:07:17,505 BUT...OBVIOUS? 200 00:07:17,505 --> 00:07:21,108 THAT'S THE LAST THING I WANT TO BE. 201 00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:22,409 SO THANKS FOR BEING HONEST. 202 00:07:22,409 --> 00:07:24,344 IT'S A... HARD THING TO DO. 203 00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:25,746 - COLLIN WAS THE LAST GUY 204 00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:26,980 I THOUGHT COULD HANDLE THE TRUTH. 205 00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:29,249 BUT IF HE COULD, MAYBE MATTY COULD TOO. 206 00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:31,919 - AND SINCE I'M ALL ABOUT QUID PRO QUO, 207 00:07:31,919 --> 00:07:34,688 YOU MIGHT WANT TO CHECK OUT A MIRROR. 208 00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:36,890 YOU'VE GOT A BIT OF A 'STACHE. 209 00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:43,831 - LITTLE EXPERIMENT GONE AWRY, HUH? 210 00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:45,966 BET YOU WISH YOU WOULD HAVE DRAWN IT ON YOUR FINGER INSTEAD. 211 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,100 LESS OF A COMMITMENT. 212 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,335 - I DIDN'T DO IT. 213 00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:50,303 IT'S WAS MR. HART'S IDEA OF A JOKE. 214 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,539 FELL ASLEEP IN CLASS. 215 00:07:51,539 --> 00:07:54,341 - AH, RESULT OF SOME LATE-NIGHT SEX PLAY 216 00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:55,609 WITH THE LIVE-IN? 217 00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:57,010 MM, MM, MM? 218 00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,345 HOW'S IT GOING? 219 00:07:58,345 --> 00:07:59,680 - TO BE HONEST, IT'S CHANGED THINGS. 220 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:02,282 I MEAN... I WANT TO BE THERE 221 00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:03,817 FOR MATTY DURING THIS HARD TIME. 222 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,719 I JUST DON'T WANT HIM TO BE THERE WITH ME. 223 00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:08,188 - YOU NEED THE LOVIN', BUT YOU WANT TO BRING BACK THE MYSTERY. 224 00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:09,623 I FEEL YA. - HOW DO I DO THAT 225 00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:11,959 WITHOUT HURTING MATTY'S FEELINGS? 226 00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:14,127 J, YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE. 227 00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:17,064 I AM AN EXPERT AT GETTING MEN TO LEAVE MY PAD, 228 00:08:17,064 --> 00:08:18,866 MOST OFTEN IN THE DARK COVER OF NIGHT, 229 00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:20,067 WHILE I'M SLEEPING. 230 00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:22,970 OKAY, JUST BRAINSTORMING HERE. 231 00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:24,037 IDEAS. [sighs] 232 00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:26,373 IDEAS, IDEAS, IDEAS. 233 00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:27,575 GET A CAT. 234 00:08:27,575 --> 00:08:28,709 - WHAT'S A CAT GONNA DO? 235 00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:30,477 - RIGHT. BETTER MAKE IT TWO. 236 00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:32,880 WHILE SOME MEN CAN HANDLE THE WARM PURR 237 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:36,049 OF A SINGLE KITTY, THEY CAN'T HANDLE A CAT'S CAT. 238 00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:39,086 OH, AND LOOK FOR ONE WITH ANAL GLAND ISSUES. 239 00:08:39,086 --> 00:08:41,354 UNWANTED CAT SPLAT WILL SEND HIM A-PACKIN'. 240 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,790 - VAL, I'M NOT GETTING ANY PETS. 241 00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:44,592 - TRIED SHARING HIS NETI POT? 242 00:08:44,592 --> 00:08:45,693 - I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS. 243 00:08:45,693 --> 00:08:47,094 - BABY TALK DURING SEX! 244 00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:49,296 OH. AHEM. 245 00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:51,131 [baby voice] OHH... 246 00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:54,602 MATTY WATTY, YOUR LITTLE PEENY WEENIE 247 00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:56,670 IS SHO SHNUGGLY WUGGLY. 248 00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:59,339 - I WANT HIM TO MOVE OUT, NOT MOVE ON. 249 00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:00,641 - WELL, THAT'S ALL I GOT. 250 00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:02,342 UGH, LOOK AT THE TIME. 251 00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:03,777 IF YOU HAVE ANY FOLLOW-UP QUESTIONS, 252 00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,713 YOU CAN CALL, TEXT, OR TWEET. 253 00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:09,717 BOWLING LESSON. I GOTS TO GO. 254 00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:10,951 [stomach rumbling] 255 00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:13,186 SUDDENLY, SO DID I. 256 00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:15,522 THE COAST WAS CLEAR. 257 00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:17,658 I FINALLY HAD THE HOUSE TO MYSELF. 258 00:09:17,658 --> 00:09:20,327 MY GUILTY PLEASURES HAD BEEN PILING UP ALL WEEK, 259 00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:22,329 BUT WITH NO THRONE TO PERCH ON, 260 00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:23,997 I COULDN'T TRULY ENJOY THEM. 261 00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:27,034 IT WAS TIME TO TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS. 262 00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:29,036 UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 263 00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:30,638 - PRACTICE WAS CANCELED. - OHH. OH. 264 00:09:30,638 --> 00:09:32,640 BET YOU MY MOM MADE YOU A SNACK. 265 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,007 YOU WANNA MEET ME IN THE KITCHEN? 266 00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:35,508 - I'M NOT REALLY HUNGRY. - CAN YOU TRY TO BE? 267 00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:37,244 'CAUSE I REALLY, REALLY NEED TO CATCH UP 268 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:38,679 ON THESE IMPORTANT CULTURAL CRITIQUES. 269 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:40,247 - IMPORTANT. - YES, AND I NEED TO DO IT 270 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,850 IN THERE, ALONE, WITH SCENTED CANDLES AND DIM LIGHTING, 271 00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:44,551 AND YOU ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY! 272 00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:47,254 I LOVE YOU, BUT I LOVE MYSELF TOO, 273 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,421 AND I NEED SPACE. 274 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,123 AND MY BATHROOM AND MY HAIR PRODUCTS. 275 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,959 AND I NEED PRIVACY, MATTY! - OKAY, SLOW DOWN. 276 00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:53,260 - I CAN'T, I'VE KEPT IT ALL BOTTLED UP, 277 00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:56,363 AND I JUST NEED TO LET IT-- [passes gas loudly] 278 00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:04,537 - YOUR PARENTS CALLED TO REMIND YOU 279 00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:06,039 THAT THEY'RE GOING TO THE HOLLYWOOD BOWL TONIGHT. 280 00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,140 WON'T BE HOME TILL LATE. 281 00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:08,809 - GOOD TO KNOW. 282 00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:10,944 - AND YOUR MOM LEFT MONEY FOR PIZZA. 283 00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:15,983 OR WE COULD JUST HEAD OVER TO THE CHILI COOK-OFF. 284 00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:17,718 [both snicker] 285 00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:19,086 - [laughing] 286 00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:21,021 - MATTY, I AM SO SORRY. - OH, DON'T APOLOGIZE. 287 00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:23,156 EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, WE ALL HAVE TO LET OUT A LITTLE STEAM. 288 00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:24,224 - OH, SHUT UP. 289 00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:25,358 - NO, HEY, HEY, HEY. 290 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,427 YOU WERE RIGHT TO EXPLODE. - DON'T-- 291 00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:29,763 [snickering] 292 00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:30,998 I AM A DUDE. 293 00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:33,566 WE CAN BE A LITTLE OBLIVIOUS. 294 00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:35,568 I DIDN'T MEAN TO PUT SO MUCH PRESSURE ON YOU. 295 00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,905 [chuckles] I HAVE A SOLUTION. 296 00:10:37,905 --> 00:10:39,840 I WILL CALL JAKE, AND I CAN HEAD OVER THERE TONIGHT. 297 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,809 - SOMEHOW, MATTY HAD MADE IT COMFORTABLE 298 00:10:41,809 --> 00:10:43,243 TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE. 299 00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:44,745 DON'T. 300 00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:46,279 IF YOU'RE COMFORTABLE HERE, 301 00:10:46,279 --> 00:10:48,048 YOU SHOULD STAY AS LONG AS YOU LIKE. 302 00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:49,116 - REALLY? 303 00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:50,383 - NO. 304 00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:51,618 BUT STAY THE NIGHT. 305 00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:52,853 WE HAD TURNED OFF THE PRESSURE, 306 00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:55,555 WHICH MEANT IT WAS TIME TO TURN ON THE FUN 307 00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:56,589 AND SHIFT MATTY'S GEARS 308 00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:58,291 FROM BROTHER TO LOVER. 309 00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:00,027 - WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? 310 00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:02,796 - SOMETHING WE'VE NEVER DONE BEFORE. 311 00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:04,765 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS. - BUT I DO. 312 00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:06,099 IF THOSE GIRLS SMELL FEAR IN ME, 313 00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:09,102 I'LL NEVER BE ACCEPTED. - TAMARA, THEY'RE EVIL. 314 00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:10,270 DO YOU REMEMBER LEE ANNE HODGES? 315 00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:11,371 - THE GIRL WHO TRANSFERRED 316 00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:12,740 TO THE SCHOOL FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS? 317 00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:13,874 - SHE'S NOT PERFORMING ANYTHING 318 00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:15,342 EXCEPT ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST, 319 00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:16,509 24 HOURS A DAY. 320 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,045 SHE'S AT A PSYCHIATRIC FACILITY... 321 00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:19,312 IN UTAH. 322 00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:21,348 SHE CHECKED IN AFTER THOSE GIRLS MADE HER CHECK OUT. 323 00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:23,550 - I CALL SHENANIGANS. THEY'RE JUST CHEERLEADERS. 324 00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:25,018 - WHO ARE OUT FOR BLOOD. 325 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,354 JUST PROMISE ME THAT IF ANYTHING GOES WRONG IN THERE, 326 00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:29,222 YOU'LL SAY THE WORD? - WHAT WORD? OUR SAFE WORD? 327 00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:30,390 - WE DON'T HAVE A SAFE WORD. 328 00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,525 - THEN WE NEED ONE. WHAT IS IT? 329 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,962 - STOP. 330 00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:37,030 - YOU KNOW, I'M GONNA BE FINE. 331 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,566 AS THEY SAY, THERE IS ALWAYS SAFETY IN NUMBERS. 332 00:11:44,772 --> 00:11:46,206 - YOU CAN'T HANDLE THIS. 333 00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:48,075 IT MIGHT BE PAINFUL. 334 00:11:48,075 --> 00:11:49,076 AND DIRTY. 335 00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:50,778 - OH, THE DIRTIER THE BETTER. 336 00:11:50,778 --> 00:11:52,512 - YOU SURE? - I'M READY. 337 00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:56,483 PICK YOUR PORN. 338 00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:59,152 - HOW 'BOUT THAT ONE? 339 00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:02,790 - ASIAN PERSUASION 9? 340 00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:04,792 YOU THINK MING IS HOT? 341 00:12:04,792 --> 00:12:06,559 - NO. - SO SHE'S NOT? 342 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,797 - EH, SHE'S NOT NOT... 343 00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:10,798 HOT. 344 00:12:10,798 --> 00:12:11,799 THIS IS A TRICK QUESTION. 345 00:12:11,799 --> 00:12:13,566 - I'M KIDDING. GROW A FUNNY BONE. 346 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,803 - I'M TRYING TO. 347 00:12:15,803 --> 00:12:17,938 - OH, HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD WHORE. 348 00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:20,240 - CALL ME DUMBLEDORE, AND I WILL SHOW YOU MY STAFF. 349 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,809 - [laughs] 350 00:12:21,809 --> 00:12:22,943 I CAN'T WATCH WIZARD PORN. 351 00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:24,544 - BUT IT'S THE ONLY ONE WITH A STORY. 352 00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:26,013 - WHY DO YOU NEED A STORY BEYOND "THIS GOES INTO THAT, 353 00:12:26,013 --> 00:12:27,815 REPEAT UNTIL EVERYONE MAKES A WEIRD FACE." 354 00:12:27,815 --> 00:12:28,816 - BECAUSE THAT SOUNDS GROSS. 355 00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:29,850 - WHY ARE WE DOING THIS AGAIN? 356 00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:31,318 - 'CAUSE... WE'VE GOTTEN 357 00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:32,820 WAY TOO COMFORTABLE WITH EACH OTHER, 358 00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:34,822 AND WE NEED TO SHAKE THINGS UP. 359 00:12:34,822 --> 00:12:35,923 - WE NEED TO SHAKE THINGS UP. 360 00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:37,157 WHEN ARE THE OTHER GIRLS GONNA GET HERE? 361 00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:39,259 - NEVER. NO ONE WANTS TO DEAL WITH SADIE 362 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,660 NOW THAT SHE'S BROKE. 363 00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:42,195 SHE CAN'T SOOTHE HER SADISM 364 00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:43,430 WITH SPA TREATMENTS ANYMORE. 365 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,833 - SO IT'S JUST THE THREE OF US? 366 00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:48,301 - YEAH. - I GOTTA MAKE A CALL. 367 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:49,837 - [sighs] 368 00:12:49,837 --> 00:12:51,839 - JAKE, YOU NEED TO STOP DOING WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING 369 00:12:51,839 --> 00:12:54,207 AND STOP ME FROM STAYING THE NIGHT--HURRY! 370 00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:56,476 - CONSUELA'S GONNA GIVE US MANI-PEDIS, 371 00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:58,178 BUT SHE ONLY HAS ENERGY FOR TWO, 372 00:12:58,178 --> 00:13:01,915 SO, TAMARA, FEEL FREE TO WAIT OUTSIDE... 373 00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:03,750 WITH MY DOG. 374 00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,185 - THANKS FOR YOUR LACK OF HOSPITALITY, 375 00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:06,920 BUT I THINK I'M GONNA HEAD OUT. 376 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,922 - GOOD! NOW I WON'T FEEL BAD TALKING [bleep] ABOUT YOU 377 00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:10,557 TO YOUR FACE. - OH, PLEASE. 378 00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:12,525 DON'T HOLD BACK. - REALLY? 379 00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:14,594 BECAUSE I DO HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU. 380 00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:15,762 - BRING IT. 381 00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:16,997 - WHEN YOU KISS JAKE, 382 00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:18,765 DOES IT TASTE LIKE JENNA? 383 00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:20,100 - I DON'T KNOW-- WHEN YOU KISSED RICKY, 384 00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:21,301 DID IT TASTE LIKE ME? 385 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,635 - SKITCH. - WHORE. 386 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,037 - GUYS, LET'S NOT GET WOUND UP. 387 00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:26,473 - CONSUELA, GET MY SPIRIT BOARD. 388 00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:34,381 - UNLOCKING THE AFTERLIFE CAN BE REALLY DANGEROUS. 389 00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:35,648 WE SHOULD KEEP IT LOCKED. 390 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,217 HOW ABOUT WE PLAY "LIGHT AS A FEATHER" INSTEAD? 391 00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:38,651 - RICKY, IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, 392 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,453 SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT. 393 00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:43,723 DID YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN THIS [bleep]. 394 00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:53,133 - RICKY, WERE YOU ATTRACTED TO SADIE'S MANNISH APPEARANCE 395 00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:55,635 BECAUSE YOU WERE GAY? 396 00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:02,575 - GUYS, I-- I BROUGHT TANGLED. 397 00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:06,279 - DID THE THOUGHT OF TAMARA'S FACE PUT YOU IN THE GRAVE? 398 00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:11,151 - OR DID SADIE SHOVE YOU IN THERE HERSELF? 399 00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:17,991 - WAS YOUR DEATH AN ACCIDENT? 400 00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,695 - [gasps] 401 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:25,332 - DID SOMEONE KILL YOU? 402 00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:26,733 both: WHO KILLED YOU? 403 00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:28,435 - THIS IS NOT OKAY! 404 00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:30,971 LET THE SPIRITS REST! 405 00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:35,708 - I NEED A RIDE HOME. 406 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,510 - OKAY. JUST WAITING ON TAMARA. 407 00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:38,545 - SHE'S NOT COMING. 408 00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:40,047 [phone bloops] 409 00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:41,048 SHE'S NOT COMING. 410 00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:42,282 - DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE AFTERLIFE? 411 00:14:42,282 --> 00:14:43,550 - IN WHAT WAY? 412 00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,352 - IN THE WAY THAT YOUR SINS COME BACK TO HAUNT YOU. 413 00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:46,386 - YOU MEAN LIKE KARMA? 414 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:47,387 - YEAH. 415 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,688 - SURE. 416 00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:50,857 - I THINK GOD'S PUNISHING ME. 417 00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:52,359 - *OH OH OH * 418 00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:55,362 - I LOST MY VIRGINITY THIS SUMMER. 419 00:14:55,362 --> 00:14:57,664 - [British accent] I'M NOT READY TO LOSE MY VIRGINITY. 420 00:14:57,664 --> 00:14:59,599 - IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE HERMIONE? 421 00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:02,169 - LESS WATCHING, MORE KISSING. 422 00:15:02,169 --> 00:15:04,104 MMM. - [on TV] OH, YEAH! 423 00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:05,572 OHH! 424 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,007 - WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO THIS? 425 00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,976 - OH, I DON'T KNOW. COSTUME FETISH? 426 00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:11,811 [both giggle] 427 00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:13,446 - OH. I'M SORRY. 428 00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:14,547 BUT LOOK AT THAT GIRL. 429 00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:15,615 SHE'S ACTUALLY PRETTY. 430 00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,184 SHE COULD HAVE BEEN A REAL ACTRESS. 431 00:15:17,184 --> 00:15:18,751 - YEAH, IF SHE COULD ACT. 432 00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,187 - SHE'S PROBABLY A RUNAWAY. 433 00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:23,023 - SO? - SO IT'S DISTURBING. 434 00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:24,457 IT'S NOT LIKE THERE ARE LITTLE GIRLS WHO RUN AROUND 435 00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:25,993 SAYING, "WHEN I GROW UP, I WANT TO HAVE SEX 436 00:15:25,993 --> 00:15:27,327 WITH STRANGE MEN ON CAMERA." 437 00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:29,596 IT'S SAD. - WHAT'S SAD IS HOW MUCH 438 00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:31,031 YOU'RE KILLING THE MOMENT. 439 00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:32,532 - WAY TO BE INSENSITIVE. 440 00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:34,534 IT'S NOT LIKE THOSE GIRLS HAVE THEIR BOYFRIENDS' HOMES 441 00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:38,871 TO RUN OFF TO WHEN THINGS GET TOUGH. 442 00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:40,140 - YOU KNOW, I'M-- I'M TIRED. 443 00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:41,241 I'M GONNA CRASH. 444 00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:43,376 I'LL BE OUT OF HERE IN THE MORNING. 445 00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:49,549 - THAT'S IT. LET IT HAPPEN. 446 00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:52,019 OFF TO DREAMLAND. - NO. 447 00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:54,021 NO, I WON'T GO THERE. 448 00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:55,688 UNLESS YOU WANT TO CALL A TRUCE? 449 00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:58,025 IF YOU LET ME SLEEP, I WILL LET YOU SLEEP 450 00:15:58,025 --> 00:15:59,126 AND I'LL LEAVE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING. 451 00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:00,393 YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO FEED ME. 452 00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:01,561 - OH, I WON'T. 453 00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:02,862 GOOD. - GREAT. 454 00:16:02,862 --> 00:16:04,031 both: TRUCE. 455 00:16:11,371 --> 00:16:13,306 - YOUR BED IS THE FLOOR. 456 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,042 OR YOU CAN SLEEP IN MY DOG'S BED, 457 00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:16,443 SINCE HE'S WITH CONSUELA. 458 00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:18,545 - BUT THERE'S PLENTY OF ROOM FOR BOTH OF US IN YOURS. 459 00:16:18,545 --> 00:16:21,714 - IT'S NON-NEGOTIABLE. I DON'T CO-SLEEP. 460 00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:36,096 - [whimpering and crying] 461 00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:37,797 - WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? 462 00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:39,732 - I HAVE A BAD BACK. 463 00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:42,535 - AND I DON'T CARE. 464 00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:45,538 - [whimpering like a dog] 465 00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:46,839 - ARE YOU GONNA DO THAT ALL NIGHT 466 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,375 UNLESS I LET YOU UP HERE? 467 00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:49,676 - YES. - FINE! 468 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,311 BUT DON'T TOUCH ME. 469 00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:55,982 - [sighs] 470 00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:09,462 MATTY, WE NEED TO TALK. 471 00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:11,931 - UH, NOT NOW. 472 00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:14,234 - I'M SORRY. 473 00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:17,470 I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS. 474 00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:19,406 PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS THROUGH THE DOOR. 475 00:17:19,406 --> 00:17:20,840 - I'LL JUST BE A MINUTE. 476 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:22,142 - THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED MATTY 477 00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:24,411 MIGHT HAVE BEEN WORKING OUT ANOTHER PROBLEM. 478 00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:26,413 - OH, MY GOD, ARE YOU SHAKING THE... 479 00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:38,825 - SO OUR COMFORT ZONE HAD FINALLY GOTTEN UNCOMFORTABLE. 480 00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:40,427 FOR BOTH OF US. 481 00:17:40,427 --> 00:17:43,396 I FINALLY REALIZED MATTY DIDN'T NEED A LOVER. 482 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,865 HE NEEDED A MOTHER. 483 00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:49,302 MAYBE IT'S TIME YOU TALKED TO YOUR PARENTS. 484 00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:50,903 - WHY? 485 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:54,307 THEY HAVEN'T CALLED SINCE I LEFT. 486 00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:55,908 - THAT'S PRIDE. 487 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,377 I DIDN'T TALK TO JENNIFER 488 00:17:57,377 --> 00:17:58,945 DAYS AFTER SHE FOUND OUT I WROTE THE LETTER, 489 00:17:58,945 --> 00:18:02,682 AND I'M THE ONE WHO MADE THAT MESS. 490 00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:04,184 - AND WHAT'D SHE DO? 491 00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:05,685 - SHE LET ME PROCESS... 492 00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,687 HOW TO TALK TO HER AND THEN, 493 00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:09,689 WHEN I DIDN'T, 494 00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,991 SHE FOUND THE STRENGTH TO TALK TO ME. 495 00:18:11,991 --> 00:18:14,994 THERE'S NO INSTRUCTION MANUAL ON HOW TO PARENT. 496 00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:19,266 SOMETIMES, OUR KIDS HAVE TO TEACH US WHAT THEY NEED. 497 00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:22,869 JENNA DID THAT FOR ME. 498 00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:25,338 MAYBE YOU COULD DO THAT FOR YOUR MOM TOO? 499 00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:27,840 - * CHARADE'S ALL OVER * 500 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:31,244 * WHY ARE WE SO SAD? 501 00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:39,519 - WHAT...THE...[bleep]? 502 00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:40,520 - OOH! [thud] 503 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,355 - WHAT THE [bleep]? 504 00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:43,990 - YOU WERE TOUCHING ME. 505 00:18:43,990 --> 00:18:46,058 - DON'T GET EXCITED. I'M A SNUGGLE BUG. 506 00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:47,427 ANY WARM BODY WILL DO, 507 00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:49,196 ESPECIALLY ONE THAT'S BIGGER THAN MINE. 508 00:18:49,196 --> 00:18:51,898 - IT'S MORNING. YOU CAN LEAVE NOW. 509 00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:52,899 - I'M GOING. 510 00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:54,634 CAN I GET A RIDE? 511 00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,203 - CONSUELA HAS SUNDAYS OFF. 512 00:18:56,203 --> 00:18:57,470 - WHAT ABOUT YOUR PARENTS? 513 00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:58,671 - THEY'RE NOT HOME. 514 00:18:58,671 --> 00:18:59,839 - WHERE ARE THEY? 515 00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:00,840 - DON'T [bleep] WITH ME. 516 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,809 I KNOW YOU KNOW MY DAD LEFT THE COUNTRY 517 00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:04,811 AND MY MOM'S HOLED UP SOMEWHERE FOR EXHAUSTION. 518 00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,813 - SO IT'S TRUE. 519 00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:09,216 YOU ARE BROKE. - YEAH, SO WHAT? 520 00:19:09,216 --> 00:19:10,650 ARE YOU GONNA TELL EVERYBODY? 521 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,084 - YEAH! I HAVE A BIG MOUTH. 522 00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:13,220 IF YOU WANT ME TO KEEP QUIET, 523 00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:14,321 YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO THREATEN ME. 524 00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:16,223 - IF YOU SAY A [bleep] WORD, I WILL ENSURE 525 00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:19,125 THAT YOU ALSO BREAK YOUR NECK DURING PRACTICE. 526 00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:21,228 - YOUR SECRET'S SAFE. 527 00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:26,899 - HEY. 528 00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:30,002 I'M, UH, I'M GONNA TAKE OFF. 529 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,671 GET GET OF YOUR HAIR. 530 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,306 - ARE YOU GOING TO JAKE'S? 531 00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:34,907 - NO, I'M GONNA GO HOME. 532 00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:36,309 YOUR MOM GAVE ME SOME GOOD ADVICE. 533 00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:37,710 I'LL SEE IF IT WORKS. 534 00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:39,346 - * HOW I CLIMBED YOUR CITY'S WALLS * 535 00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:41,248 - OKAY. - OKAY. 536 00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:43,149 - * DO YOU REMEMBER ME - ARE WE OKAY? 537 00:19:43,149 --> 00:19:44,451 - * HOW I PRAYED FOR YOUR CALLS * 538 00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:45,918 - YEAH. 539 00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:47,954 - * I STOOD 540 00:19:47,954 --> 00:19:49,556 - BY THE WAY, WHAT DID YOU THINK I WAS DOING 541 00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:50,723 IN THE BATHROOM? 542 00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:53,360 - OH, THOUGHT YOU WERE, YOU KNOW... 543 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,027 SHAKIN' THE CREAMER. 544 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:57,930 - OH. NO. 545 00:19:57,930 --> 00:20:00,166 I DO THAT IN THE SHOWER. 546 00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:01,534 - * I DID BEHAVE 547 00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:04,371 - IT WAS THE FIRST TIME IN DAYS I COULD RELAX. 548 00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:06,273 I WAS FREE TO DO ANYTHING I WANTED 549 00:20:06,273 --> 00:20:07,940 IN THE PRIVACY OF MY OWN ROOM, 550 00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,342 WITHIN LIMITS, 551 00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:12,078 SINCE MY DAD HAD YET TO PUT THE LOCK BACK ON. 552 00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:13,680 MY SPACE WAS FINALLY SAFE. 553 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:16,849 BUT SUDDENLY, IT FELT EMPTY. 554 00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:18,885 [knock on door] 555 00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:24,824 - I FORGOT SOMETHING. 556 00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:26,158 - * I WAS A FOOL 557 00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:28,495 - SO APPARENTLY, WE WERE BACK TO NORMAL, 558 00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:32,499 AND ALL IT TOOK WAS CONFINING MATTY'S ACCESS TO THE BACK DOOR. 559 00:20:32,499 --> 00:20:34,367 THE ACTUAL BACK DOOR. 560 00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:38,805 - NEXT ON AWKWARD, IT WAS HALLOWEEN... 561 00:20:38,805 --> 00:20:40,172 - WHERE'S YOUR COSTUME? 562 00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:41,874 - BUT IT REALLY DIDN'T MATTER WHAT I WAS WEARING 563 00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:43,075 BECAUSE I WAS... - BORING. 564 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,345 WHAT DOES HE SEE IN HER? - HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON? 565 00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:46,413 - I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR MATTY. 566 00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:47,847 HE'S HOT, AND I'M NOT, 567 00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:48,915 AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT. 568 00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:50,517 - MY GIRLFRIEND IS THROWING A PARTY. 569 00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:52,251 - WHY DON'T WE BAIL ON CEBRE'S PARTY 570 00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:54,153 AND CRASH A COOLER ONE INSTEAD. 39945

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