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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,802 --> 00:00:03,304 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:03,337 --> 00:00:05,639 - MY LIFE WAS FULL OF UNEXPECTED CHOICES. 3 00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:06,440 - WE'VE DECIDED 4 00:00:06,474 --> 00:00:07,775 NOT TO LET A GIRL COME BETWEEN US. 5 00:00:07,808 --> 00:00:10,544 - SO YOU NEED TO CHOOSE, HIM OR ME. 6 00:00:10,578 --> 00:00:12,180 - YOU SHOULD DATE EACH OTHER. 7 00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:14,582 BUT SOMEONE HAD TO WIN, SOMEONE HAD TO LOSE, 8 00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:15,649 AND I WAS STILL LEFT TO CHOOSE. 9 00:00:24,292 --> 00:00:26,160 - I USED TO THINK BEING IN LOVE 10 00:00:26,194 --> 00:00:29,197 WITH TWO PEOPLE AT ONCE ONLY HAPPENED ON REALITY SHOWS, 11 00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:31,132 WHERE FINDING A SOUL MATE WAS NUDGED ALONG 12 00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:33,567 BY A DOZEN ROSES, A CHEESE-TASTIC HOST, 13 00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:35,569 AND A CAMERA CREW UP YOUR ASS. 14 00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:37,671 I NEVER BOUGHT THAT BOGUS B.S.-- 15 00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:39,840 UNTIL IT HAPPENED TO ME. 16 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,776 I DIDN'T HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN MATTY OR JAKE, 17 00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:44,345 BUT I WANTED TO. 18 00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:46,147 WHEN IT CAME TO LIFE-ALTERING DECISIONS, 19 00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:49,250 I RESORTED TO MY GO-TO METHOD OF PROBLEM SOLVING-- 20 00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:50,818 BLOGGING IT OUT. 21 00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:52,553 [computer beeps] 22 00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:55,256 "PICK MATTY." "PICK JAKE." 23 00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:56,824 "MATTY IS THE ONLY CHOICE." 24 00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:59,360 "JAKE IS AWESOMETOWN." 25 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,729 TURNS OUT, MY READERS WERE AS CONFUSED AS I WAS. 26 00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:02,830 [computer beeps] "GET OVER IT." 27 00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:05,566 "PICK A GUY ALREADY." "TEAM MATTY." 28 00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:08,769 "TEAM JAKE. TEAM--JONAH? 29 00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:11,239 "WE HAVE THIRD PERIOD TOGETHER. 30 00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:13,141 I'M THE ONE WITH THE JEW 'FRO." 31 00:01:13,141 --> 00:01:14,408 OH. 32 00:01:14,442 --> 00:01:15,609 IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO THINK 33 00:01:15,643 --> 00:01:17,145 WITH THE PEANUT GALLERY CHIMING IN. 34 00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:19,680 HOW COULD I POSSIBLY BLOG MY WAY TO AN ANSWER 35 00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:21,815 IF I COULDN'T WRITE MY TRUTH? 36 00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:24,185 UNLESS-- 37 00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:26,320 I TRIED MY HAND AT FICTION. 38 00:01:26,354 --> 00:01:28,722 IT WAS THE SIX MONTH ANNIVERSARY 39 00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:31,325 OF THE FIRST TRYST IN THE UTILITY CLOSET, 40 00:01:31,359 --> 00:01:32,760 AND JENNA COULDN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. 41 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,162 THOSE ILL-FITTING CAMP SHIRTS, 42 00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:37,231 THE FILTHY SPACE, THE COLD, DANK FLOOR-- 43 00:01:37,265 --> 00:01:39,800 IT WAS THE MOST ROMANTIC THREE MINUTES OF HER LIFE. 44 00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:42,170 JOLTED BY A RUSH OF COLD WAFTING OFF 45 00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:44,172 MATTY'S SUB-ZERO SKIN, 46 00:01:44,205 --> 00:01:45,839 JENNA COULDN'T HELP BUT CONSIDER, 47 00:01:45,873 --> 00:01:47,508 SHOULD SHE FINALLY LET HIM TURN HER 48 00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:49,410 SO THEY COULD SPEND ETERNITY TOGETHER? 49 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:50,644 DO YOU KNOW WHAT TODAY IS? 50 00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:52,180 - TUESDAY. 51 00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:53,281 - HE DIDN'T REMEMBER. 52 00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:54,848 JENNA WAS CRUSHED. 53 00:01:54,882 --> 00:01:57,518 SHE DIDN'T REALIZE THE UNDEAD COULD SUCK SO HARD. 54 00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:03,691 - HAPPY ANNIVERSARY. 55 00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:07,461 - HE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO GIVE YOU WHAT YOU NEED. 56 00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:08,896 BUT I CAN. 57 00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:10,664 - BUT SHE COULDN'T DISCOUNT JAKE, 58 00:02:10,698 --> 00:02:12,233 WHO SHE OCCASIONALLY REFERRED TO AS JACOB. 59 00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:14,768 SEXY IN HIS OWN RIGHT AND AN AMAZING KISSER, 60 00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:17,638 JENNA COULD ONLY IMAGINE HOW THEIR SEX WOULD BE. 61 00:02:19,407 --> 00:02:21,275 SHE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE HOT. 62 00:02:21,309 --> 00:02:24,545 FOR REAL, JAKE'S BODY TEMP HOVERED AROUND 150. 63 00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,647 [computer beeps] 64 00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:29,917 MY BRIEF FORAY INTO FICTION 65 00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:32,586 LEAD ME TO ONE OBVIOUS CONCLUSION-- 66 00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:34,488 I WAS A HACK. 67 00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:39,560 SO I WASN'T ALL THAT GREAT 68 00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:41,495 WHEN LEFT TO MY OWN DEVICES. 69 00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:43,731 WHAT I NEEDED WAS A PUSH IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION, 70 00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:45,566 OR ANY DIRECTION. 71 00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:48,436 BECAUSE I WAS LOST, IN LOVE. 72 00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:50,671 WHENEVER I LOST MY KEYS, WHICH HAPPENED A LOT, 73 00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:51,939 I RETRACED MY STEPS. 74 00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:54,442 MAYBE I NEEDED TO RETRACE MY PAST 75 00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:56,844 TO FIGURE OUT MY FUTURE. 76 00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:58,746 - "IF YOU HAD A DO-OVER WITH MATTY, 77 00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:00,248 HOW WOULD YOU HANDLE IT?" 78 00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:03,251 A DO-OVER--IT WAS AN INTERESTING CONCEPT. 79 00:03:03,284 --> 00:03:06,420 AND I KNEW EXACTLY WHAT I WOULD DO DIFFERENTLY. 80 00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:12,293 [techno music] 81 00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:13,727 - I WAS AFRAID YOU WEREN'T GONNA SHOW. 82 00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:16,897 - WAIT, I'M NOT GOING IN THERE. - WHY NOT? 83 00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:18,566 - BECAUSE IF I DO, WE'RE GONNA HAVE SEX. 84 00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:20,401 AND I'LL BE TOTALLY INTO YOU, 85 00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:22,370 AND YOU'LL IGNORE ME, AND I'M NOT COOL WITH THAT. 86 00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:23,871 SO IF YOU WANNA GET TO KNOW ME, 87 00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:25,573 ASK ME OUT. 88 00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:26,640 [acoustic guitar music] 89 00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:28,476 - * WHEN WE MEET AGAIN 90 00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:30,611 * MY BONES WILL ACHE 91 00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:32,946 - DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME YELLING AT YOU 92 00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:34,815 TO COME GET YOUR CLOTHES WHEN YOU CAME IN? 93 00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:36,317 - YEAH, I HEARD YOU. 94 00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:37,951 I JUST DIDN'T FEEL LIKE DOING IT. 95 00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:40,688 - WATCH YOUR TONE, YOUNG LADY, 96 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,923 OR YOU CAN START DOING YOUR OWN LAUNDRY. 97 00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:45,326 THIS LETTER CAME FOR YOU. 98 00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:47,027 I'LL TAKE THE CLOTHES, BUT-- 99 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,997 YOU MIGHT WANNA RETHINK THAT. 100 00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:51,732 [school bell rings] 101 00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:53,701 - GUYS, THIS IS JENNA. 102 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,303 - HEY. 103 00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:56,904 - SIT NEXT TO ME. 104 00:03:56,937 --> 00:03:59,707 JENNA, YOU WOULD LOOK SO PRETTY WITH A MAKEOVER. 105 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:02,476 - OH, DAMN, IS IT "BRING A FREAK TO LUNCH" DAY? 106 00:04:02,510 --> 00:04:04,412 I TOTALLY FORGOT MINE. 107 00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:05,713 - BACK OFF, SADIE. 108 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:07,748 JENNA AND I ARE TOGETHER NOW. 109 00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:09,683 - WE ARE? 110 00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:11,985 - I HOPE SO. [chuckles] 111 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,856 - SPOILER ALERT, YOU WON'T LAST THE WEEK. 112 00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:18,559 SO FORGIVE ME IF I DON'T COMMIT YOUR NAME TO MEMORY. 113 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,060 YOU'RE WELCOME. 114 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,695 - LIKE A HUNGRY COYOTE, 115 00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:23,331 SADIE PREYED ON THE WEAK AND WOUNDED. 116 00:04:23,331 --> 00:04:24,732 IF SHOWED ANY FEAR AT ALL, 117 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,934 SHE'D SPEND THE REST OF THE YEAR EATING ME ALIVE. 118 00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:28,669 WELL, I ALREADY KNOW YOUR NAME. 119 00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,538 IT'S SADIE SUCKS-TON, RIGHT? 120 00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:32,706 - [chuckles] 121 00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:36,043 - [laughs] - SORRY. 122 00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:37,745 I'M NOT SORRY. 123 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:43,684 - YOU ARE SUCH A BITCH. 124 00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:45,353 I LIKE YOU. 125 00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:47,721 [laid-back music] 126 00:04:47,755 --> 00:04:49,823 - SO, "J", ARE YOU HANGING WITH US TODAY, 127 00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:51,024 OR ARE YOU EATING AT THE V.I.P. TABLE? 128 00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:52,593 IT'S BEEN, LIKE, A WEEK. 129 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,061 - WELL, I'D RATHER EAT WITH YOU GUYS, 130 00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:55,563 BUT I DON'T WANNA HURT MATTY'S FEELINGS. 131 00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,064 - WHAT ABOUT OUR FEELINGS? - COME ON, GUYS. 132 00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:59,032 IT'S NOT LIKE I'M GONNA BE BFFs WITH SADIE 133 00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:01,101 AND BECOME POPULAR OVERNIGHT. 134 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:04,104 [techno music] 135 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,006 - * COME WITH ME COME WITH ME * 136 00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:08,376 - WHERE'D YOU SCORE THE LACTOIDS, HAMILTON-- 137 00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:10,010 SUDDEN GROWN SPURT OR CUTLETS? 138 00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:12,413 - I GOT A BOOB JOB. - OVERNIGHT? 139 00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:13,947 - I HEAL FAST. 140 00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:16,016 - DO YOU THINK I SHOULD GET IMPLANTS? 141 00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:17,518 - MAYBE JUST A LIFT. 142 00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:19,553 - AND A NIPPLE REDUCTION. 143 00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:21,555 - HAMILTON, CAN WE SIDEBAR? 144 00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:23,624 - ISN'T IT OBVI SHE'S MOVED ON? 145 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:27,395 SO FEEL FREE TO RESUME YOUR LIFE ON THE D-LIST WITHOUT HER. 146 00:05:27,395 --> 00:05:29,563 YOU'RE WELCOME. 147 00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:30,764 - COME ON, SADIE. 148 00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:32,733 TO JOIN THE MOB, YOU PROVED YOUR LOYALTY 149 00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,435 BY MAKING YOUR FIRST KILL. 150 00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:37,405 TO STAY POPULAR, I HAD TO SACRIFICE MY FRIENDSHIPS. 151 00:05:37,405 --> 00:05:40,941 THEY'RE NOT D-LISTERS-- 152 00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:42,410 UNLESS YOU GRADE ON A CURVE 153 00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:43,977 THE SIZE OF HER SHELF-BUTT. 154 00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:46,079 [laughter] 155 00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:48,416 SORRY. I'M NOT SORRY. 156 00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:51,118 AND JUST LIKE THAT, I WAS MADE. 157 00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:54,087 - NICE WHORE-DROBE, SKANKSQUATCH. 158 00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:58,626 - THIS IS THE FIRST TIME YOU'VE COME UP 159 00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:00,494 ON MY RADAR, MISS HAMILTON, 160 00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:01,962 AND I HOPE IT'S THE LAST. 161 00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:04,632 [cell phone chimes] - YEAH, ME TOO. 162 00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:06,434 WHY AM I HERE? 163 00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:07,868 - BECAUSE I DIDN'T LIKE MEAN GIRLS 164 00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,437 WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL, 165 00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:10,771 AND I DON'T CARE FOR THEM NOW. 166 00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,105 - IF YOU'RE CALLING ME A MEAN GIRL, 167 00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:13,474 YOU BETTER HAVE THE PROOF TO BACK IT UP. 168 00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:15,643 BECAUSE THE WAY I SEE IT, THAT'S SLANDER. 169 00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:17,478 - OH, NO. NO, NO, NO. 170 00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:18,779 I WASN'T IMPLYING THAT. 171 00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:21,949 I MEANT THAT AS A POPULAR, 172 00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:24,652 ENVIED STUDENT WITH GOOD HAIR 173 00:06:24,685 --> 00:06:26,587 AND A GREAT SET OF BAZOOMS, 174 00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:29,890 YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO USE YOUR POWER FOR GOOD. 175 00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:32,092 - OKAY, VAL, WHY DON'T I START WITH YOU? 176 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:33,827 UNLESS YOU KEEP A LID ON THE CRAZY 177 00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:35,563 AND STOP DRESSING LIKE A WALMART GREETER, 178 00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:37,565 THE ONLY ACTION YOU'RE EVER GONNA GET 179 00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,132 IS YOUR ANNUAL VISIT TO THE GYNO. 180 00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:41,034 SORRY. I'M NOT SORRY. 181 00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:44,037 [rock music] 182 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,039 WHENEVER PEEPS BITCHED ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL 183 00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,709 BEING THE MOST PAINFUL TIME OF THEIR LIVES, 184 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,978 I ALWAYS ASSUMED THEY WERE LOSERS. 185 00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:53,614 BECAUSE I WAS HALFWAY THROUGH SOPHOMORE YEAR 186 00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:54,948 AND I WAS KILLING IT. 187 00:06:54,982 --> 00:06:56,817 EVERY GIRL WANTED TO BE AND 188 00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:59,520 EVERY GUY WANTED TO BONE-- EXCEPT THE GAY ONES, 189 00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:01,722 WHO STILL WANTED TO SEE MY BOOBS. 190 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,491 BUT EVEN THOUGH MY LIFE WAS PERFECT, 191 00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:04,992 I COULDN'T HELP BY WONDER 192 00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:06,960 WHY THE HELL WAS I WASTING TIME 193 00:07:06,994 --> 00:07:08,862 RECOUNTING EVERY LITTLE THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME 194 00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:10,764 ON SOME LAME BLOG? 195 00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:14,502 BLOGGING WAS STUPID. 196 00:07:14,502 --> 00:07:16,036 - HEY, PRETTY GIRL. 197 00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:18,672 I NEED YOUR EXPERT OPINION. 198 00:07:18,706 --> 00:07:21,975 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS FOR THE SOTOS' COCKTAIL PARTY? 199 00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:23,777 - ADD EARRINGS. HOOPS, NOT STUDS. 200 00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:25,045 CHANGE THE PUMPS. AND YOU MIGHT WANNA 201 00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:27,080 THINK ABOUT BUSTING OUT THE SPANX. 202 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:29,650 - OH. THANKS, HONEY. 203 00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:31,919 I WOULD BE A MESS WITHOUT YOU. 204 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:35,088 OH, AND THIS LETTER CAME FOR YOU. 205 00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:36,524 - CAN YOU READ IT TO ME? 206 00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:38,592 MY NAILS ARE STILL WET. 207 00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:41,962 - OKAY. 208 00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,899 "DEAR, JENNA, AS YOU ARE NOW, 209 00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:49,937 "YOU ARE--AWESOME! 210 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,672 "WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS 211 00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:53,941 "HOW PERFECT YOU ARE IN EVERY WAY. 212 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,609 "YOU ARE A ROLE MODEL 213 00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:57,010 "FOR GIRLS THE WORLD OVER, 214 00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:59,613 "BECAUSE YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, SKINNY, 215 00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:01,715 "COOL AND STYLISH. 216 00:08:01,749 --> 00:08:05,719 "I WOULD NOT CHANGE A SINGLE THING ABOUT YOU. 217 00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:09,623 LOVE, MOM." 218 00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:18,265 - THANKS, LACE. 219 00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:19,767 [knock at door] 220 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,035 YOU CAN GO NOW. 221 00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:25,205 - OKAY. 222 00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:26,940 [door opens] 223 00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:29,176 - WOW. YOU LOOK SMOKIN'. 224 00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:31,579 - I AM SMOKIN'. 225 00:08:31,579 --> 00:08:33,113 - [laughs] 226 00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,248 I SAW TAMARA AT THE GAME AND SHE ASKED ABOUT YOU. 227 00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:36,717 YOU SHOULD REALLY HANG OUT WITH HER SOMETIME. 228 00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,318 - I CAN'T. SHE'S A DORK. 229 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,987 AND I DON'T HAVE THAT LUXURY NOW. 230 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,855 AS THE MOST POPULAR GIRL AT PALOS HILLS, 231 00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:44,324 IT'S MY JOB TO WORRY ABOUT WHAT EVERYONE THINKS. 232 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,860 AND THEY THINK ABOUT ME ALL THE TIME. 233 00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:48,629 - WELL, FOR WHATEVER IT'S WORTH, 234 00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:50,230 TAMARA MISSES YOU. - SHUT UP. 235 00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:53,166 - NO, REALLY, SHE DOES. - NO, REALLY, SHUT UP. 236 00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,911 MMM. 237 00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:05,312 OH, I CAN'T BE HORIZONTAL. 238 00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:06,947 I JUST HAD A BLOWOUT. 239 00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:09,216 BABE, I JUST GOT LASERED! 240 00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:10,984 LAY OFF THE MERCH. 241 00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:13,253 I TOLD YOU, THEY HAVE TO SETTLE IN. 242 00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:15,623 - IT'S BEEN THREE MONTHS. 243 00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:18,125 [Bad Feeling by Veronica Falls] 244 00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:20,694 - * YOUR FACE IN THE MIRROR * 245 00:09:20,728 --> 00:09:22,095 - SO, ARE YOU THINKING 246 00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:24,264 LIMO OR TOWN CAR FOR THE DANCE? 247 00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:25,899 - I TOLD YOU 20 TIMES, 248 00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:27,968 I WANT A BLACK ON BLACK STRETCH LIMO. 249 00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:29,236 DO I NEED TO WRITE IT DOWN, 250 00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:32,072 OR IS READING AN ISSUE? 251 00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,945 - DON'T GET MAD AT ME FOR SAYING THIS, 252 00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:39,179 BUT SOMEONE HAS TO. 253 00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,148 JENNA HAMILTON'S A RAGING BITCH. 254 00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:42,883 - I KNOW. BUT SHE HASN'T ALWAYS 255 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,151 BEEN LIKE THAT, MAN. 256 00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:46,987 SHE USED TO BE REALLY COOL. 257 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:50,323 SHE WAS THE FIRST GIRL WHO ACTUALLY LIKED ME FOR ME-- 258 00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:52,025 OR SO I THOUGHT. 259 00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:54,795 - SO THEN WHY DO YOU PUT UP WITH HER CRAP? 260 00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:57,130 - I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD SEE EACH OTHER ANYMORE. 261 00:09:57,164 --> 00:09:59,066 I'M SORRY, JENNA, YOU'RE JUST-- 262 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,268 YOU'RE NOT THE SAME GIRL I MET AT CAMP. 263 00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:02,970 YOU CHANGED. 264 00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:05,773 AND TO BE HONEST, I'M KINDA INTO SOMEONE ELSE, 265 00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:08,408 SOMEONE OFF THE GRID AND-- 266 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,011 AND NORMAL AND DOWN TO EARTH. 267 00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:13,246 - YOU STUPID MORON. 268 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,082 YOU CAN'T BREAK UP WITH ME. 269 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:16,817 I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU. 270 00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:19,219 AND FOR THE RECORD, IT'S NOT ME, IT'S YOU. 271 00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:21,154 I DON'T NEED YOU ANYWAY. 272 00:10:21,188 --> 00:10:22,990 I COULD HAVE ANYBODY I WANT. 273 00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:25,258 I'M JENNA HAMILTON! 274 00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:33,066 [screams] 275 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:39,306 SINCE MY DO-OVER FANTASY TURNED OUT TO BE MORE OF A NIGHTMARE, 276 00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:41,942 I DECIDED SECOND-GUESSING MYSELF 277 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,376 WASN'T THE WAY TO GO. 278 00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:45,278 MAYBE I HAD MADE THE RIGHT DECISION 279 00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:47,014 TO GO INTO THAT CLOSET WITH MATTY. 280 00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,782 - "ENOUGH ABOUT MATTY. 281 00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:49,983 "I'M PRO JAKE. 282 00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:51,985 HOW DID YOU TANK THAT RELATIONSHIP?" 283 00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:53,787 THOUGHT THAT WAS PRETTY OBVIOUS. 284 00:10:53,821 --> 00:10:55,388 I SHOULD'VE TOLD HIM THE TRUTH ABOUT MATTY 285 00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:56,890 FROM THE BEGINNING. 286 00:10:56,924 --> 00:10:58,291 BUT I COULDN'T GO BACK TO THE SCENE OF THE CRIME 287 00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:01,895 TO RIGHT THE WRONG-- OR COULD I? 288 00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:06,166 STOP. 289 00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:07,167 BEFORE YOU KISS ME, YOU SHOULD KNOW. 290 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,401 THAT GUY I'VE BEEN UPSET ABOUT, 291 00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:10,170 IT ISN'T YOU. IT'S MATTY. 292 00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:11,038 I JUST HAD TO LAY IT OUT THERE 293 00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:12,940 BEFORE YOU GOT FURTHER INVESTED IN ME 294 00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:14,908 AND I GOT INVESTED IN YOU BECAUSE IF I DIDN'T, 295 00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:16,343 SOMEONE WOULD'VE GOTTEN HURT-- 296 00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:18,345 NAMELY YOU, WITH A PUNCH TO THE FACE. 297 00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:20,247 SO IF GIVEN THE CHOICE BETWEEN YOU OR MATTY, 298 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,750 WHICH NORMALLY I WOULD DEBATE FOR MONTHS, 299 00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:23,917 I PICK YOU. 300 00:11:23,951 --> 00:11:25,753 - THIS IS A LOT TO PROCESS. 301 00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:28,021 - TRUST ME, YOU'LL BE MUCH HAPPIER WITH ME 302 00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:29,256 THAN YOU'D EVER BE WITH LISSA. 303 00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:30,257 SO I'LL BREAK IT OFF WITH MATTY, 304 00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:33,360 YOU GET RID OF LISSA, AND WE CAN BE TOGETHER. 305 00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:38,431 - WHAT I'M SAYING IS, 306 00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:41,168 I DON'T THINK THAT EITHER ONE OF US HAS BEEN HAPPY. 307 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,503 I FEEL LIKE I NEED SOME SPACE. 308 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,906 - YOU'RE TRANSFERRING TO ANOTHER SCHOOL? 309 00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:47,941 - NO, LISS. 310 00:11:47,975 --> 00:11:51,979 I THINK THAT WE SHOULD, YOU KNOW-- 311 00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:54,147 - BREAK UP. - BUT I REALLY LIKE YOU. 312 00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:55,983 - ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS, 313 00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:59,186 WHICH IS WHY I'M GONNA BE DATING YOUR BEST FRIEND. 314 00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:00,420 - WHA--? 315 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:01,989 - YEAH. 316 00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:04,391 - [exhales] 317 00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,059 SHOULD WE BE DOING THIS IN YOUR ROOM? 318 00:12:06,093 --> 00:12:07,961 - IN MY FANTASY, MY MOM AND DAD 319 00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:09,296 WERE OUT OF TOWN... A LOT. 320 00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:12,032 MY PARENTS ARE IN-- ARUBA. 321 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:14,201 IT WAS A WIN-WIN FOR EVERYBODY. 322 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,804 - COOL. 323 00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:18,071 - AHH, YEAH. - AAH. 324 00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:20,173 both: AHH. - WAIT, WAIT. 325 00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:21,508 - [moans] - OOH, DON'T MOVE. 326 00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:22,810 - YEAH. 327 00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:25,345 [exhales] 328 00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:27,547 OH, MY GOD. 329 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,349 - OH, MY GOD. 330 00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:32,385 - "T," THE SEX WITH MIND-BLOWING. 331 00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:34,121 IT WASN'T JUST A PHYSICAL EXPERIENCE. 332 00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:36,924 IT WAS EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL. 333 00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:38,091 - THERE WAS ZERO CHEMISTRY. 334 00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,127 - SORRY, MAN. THAT BLOWS. 335 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,428 - I DON'T MEAN TO BE WEIRD, 336 00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:43,163 BUT WAS THERE CHEMISTRY WITH YOU AND JENNA 337 00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:44,998 THE FIRST TIME? - DEFINITELY. 338 00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:46,433 - SO IT IS ME. 339 00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:48,101 DAMN IT! 340 00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:49,436 MAYBE I SHOULD TRY IT AGAIN. 341 00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:53,573 HEY, DO YOU MIND WAITING IN THE CAR? 342 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:56,043 - * OH, I NEED 343 00:12:56,076 --> 00:13:00,080 * YOUR BEDROOM EYES 344 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:05,518 * OH, I NEED YOUR BEDROOM EYES * 345 00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,257 - I WASN'T SURE IF IT WAS EXHAUSTION 346 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,225 FROM OUR RECENT BONE-A-THON, 347 00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:13,460 BUT JAKE WAS ACTING STRANGE. 348 00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:15,595 MAYBE HE WAS AFRAID I WASN'T AS INTO HIM 349 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,297 AS HE WAS INTO ME. 350 00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:19,399 AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE WAY TO SET HIS MIND AT EASE. 351 00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:21,401 I LOVE YOU. 352 00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:23,971 - AWESOME. 353 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,244 - AWESOME? WHAT WAS THAT? 354 00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:32,913 - YOU NEED TO BACK OFF. 355 00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:35,315 AS IN, PUT YOUR THING DOWN, FLIP IT, AND REVERSE IT. 356 00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:37,150 YOU'RE GONNA SCARE HIM AWAY. 357 00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:38,919 - BUT I LOVE HIM. 358 00:13:38,952 --> 00:13:40,187 - THAT'S THE SEX TALKING. 359 00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:41,989 - YEAH. YOU'RE IN A SEX TRANCE. 360 00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:43,623 - NO, I'M NOT. 361 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,158 AM I? 362 00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:46,459 - YOU WERE SO RIGHT. 363 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,528 JAKE'S TOTALLY COOLED IT ON THAT SKITCH. 364 00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:51,298 - SO INSTEAD OF LOOKING LIKE AN A-[bleep] 365 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,300 BY PUNCHING JENNA IN THE FACE 366 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,135 OR PUTTING BLEACH IN HER SHAMPOO... 367 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,204 - I WAS JUST SPITBALLING. 368 00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:59,039 - YOU'RE IN THE PERFECT POSITION 369 00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:01,541 TO SWOOP IN AND WIN HIM BACK. 370 00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:04,011 YOU'RE WELCOME. 371 00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:06,046 NOW GET IN THERE-- 372 00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:08,015 AND ACT COOL. 373 00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:09,950 - YEAH. 374 00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:11,618 - I JUST FEEL LIKE SHE'S SUFFOCATING ME 375 00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:13,921 AND I CAN'T EVEN TALK TO HER ABOUT IT. 376 00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:15,555 I'M SORRY. IS THIS WEIRD FOR YOU? 377 00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:18,125 - NO! I LIKE HEARING ABOUT YOU AND JENNA, 378 00:14:18,158 --> 00:14:19,927 ESPECIALLY HOW SHE ANNOYS YOU. 379 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,262 - WELL, I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T BE SAYING THIS, 380 00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:24,998 BUT I THINK I MADE A MISTAKE. 381 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:26,166 I MISS YOU, LISS. 382 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,234 - [squeals] YAY! 383 00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:29,069 WE'RE BACK TOGETHER. 384 00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:31,104 [giggles] 385 00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:32,940 [kissing] 386 00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,607 - OH, YEAH. 387 00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:36,543 - JAKE'S ABOUT TO PUMP AND DUMP YOU. 388 00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:38,411 HE'S GETTING BACK TOGETHER WITH DUMB-O. 389 00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:40,313 - NO WAY. WE'RE IN LOVE. 390 00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:42,049 - YOU'RE IN LOVE. HE'S IN AWESOME. 391 00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:44,051 [cell phone chimes] 392 00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:47,120 - HE IS DUMPING ME. 393 00:14:47,154 --> 00:14:48,321 WHAT DO I DO? 394 00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:50,690 - YOU NEED A SEXORCISM. - NO! SAVE FACE. 395 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,093 BLINDSIDE HIM WITH A PREEMPTIVE DUMP. 396 00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:55,095 - BUT HE'S THE ONE. 397 00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:58,165 both: SEX TRANCE. 398 00:14:58,198 --> 00:14:59,566 - [exhales] OOH. 399 00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:02,569 I HAVE RECEIVED MANY A SIMILAR TEXT. 400 00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:04,704 THERE IS NO DOUBT ABOUT IT, YOU ARE TOAST. 401 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,974 - SO HOW DO I KEEP HIM? - WE HAVE TWO OPTIONS. 402 00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:09,409 ONE, YOU TATTOO JAKE'S NAME ON YOUR ARM 403 00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:11,344 WHERE IT'S VISIBLE TO THE VIEWING PUBLIC. 404 00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:13,413 THEN YOU BEG HIM TO STAY TOGETHER. 405 00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:15,282 HE'LL SAY YES BECAUSE HE'S A SUCKER. 406 00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:18,585 AND THEN, NEVER GET IT REMOVED. 407 00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:21,054 OR WE COULD DO IT THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY. 408 00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:24,491 - I'M PREGNANT. 409 00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:28,128 [giggling] 410 00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:29,562 - [snickering] 411 00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:31,564 LOOKS LIKE HISTORY'S REPEATING ITSELF. 412 00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:33,366 MAYBE YOU'LL HAVE A GIRL SO YOU CAN 413 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,402 PASS ON THE LEGACY OF SLUTITUDE. 414 00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:37,170 - JUST BECAUSE JAKE AND I ARE BACK TOGETHER, 415 00:15:37,204 --> 00:15:39,506 DOESN'T MEAN I'M GONNA HELP YOU RAISE YOUR BABY. 416 00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:41,474 UNLESS IT'S, LIKE, REALLY CUTE. 417 00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:47,480 - THIS DAY SUCKS. 418 00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:49,416 - WHICH IS WHAT YOU SHOULD'VE DONE 419 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,384 SO YOU WOULDN'T BE IN THIS POSITION. 420 00:15:51,418 --> 00:15:53,420 - MY ADVICE, GIVE THAT RUGRAT UP FOR ADOPTION. 421 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:54,587 CUTE WHITE BABIES GO FASTER 422 00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,356 THAN SINGLES AT A [bleep] BAR. 423 00:15:56,389 --> 00:15:57,690 - GUYS, I'M STILL EATING FOR ONE. 424 00:15:57,724 --> 00:15:59,492 I JUST SAID THAT TO HOLD ON TO JAKE. 425 00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:00,760 - YOU WERE TRYING TO TRAP HIM? 426 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,495 - [shushes] 427 00:16:02,529 --> 00:16:03,763 YOU MAKE IT SOUND SO HORRIBLE. 428 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,466 - JENNA, IT IS HORRIBLE. 429 00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:10,370 - SO YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT? 430 00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:14,407 - SORRY. 431 00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:15,475 I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO LOSE YOU. 432 00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:18,578 - EVEN IF YOU WERE, WE COULD NEVER BE TOGETHER. 433 00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:20,647 I WOULD LOVE THAT REALLY CUTE BABY, 434 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,283 BUT I WOULD NEVER LOVE YOU. 435 00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:31,391 - WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE? 436 00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:32,625 SHOULDN'T YOU BE IN ARUBA? 437 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,694 - WE SHOULD BE. 438 00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:36,429 SEEMS LIKE WE'RE THERE A LOT THESE DAYS. 439 00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:38,231 - WE CAME HOME AS SOON AS WE GOT THE NEWS. 440 00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:39,666 - I'M NOT PREGNANT. 441 00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:42,169 IT WAS A LAST-DITCH EFFORT TO TRY AN KEEP JAKE. 442 00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:44,504 - OH, THANK GOD. 443 00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:46,139 [laughs] 444 00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:48,808 I AM FAR TOO HOT TO BE A GRANDMA. 445 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:51,078 - I DON'T TRUST YOU ANYMORE, JENNA, 446 00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:54,781 WHICH IS WHY I NEED YOU TO PEE ON THIS STICK. 447 00:16:54,814 --> 00:16:56,583 - [sighs] 448 00:16:56,616 --> 00:16:58,351 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE MAKING ME DO THIS, DAD. 449 00:16:58,385 --> 00:17:00,220 I'M SO NOT-- 450 00:17:00,253 --> 00:17:02,455 PREGNANT? 451 00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:05,758 - SWITCH PLACES WITH ME, MAMA BEAR. 452 00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:08,661 YOU DON'T NEED TO SEE THAT. 453 00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:11,831 - [shudders] 454 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,366 DODGED A BULLET. 455 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,402 - * UPSIDE DOWN 456 00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:21,841 TURNS OUT I COULDN'T TRUST MY INSTINCTS OR MY BLOG, 457 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,277 WHICH APPARENTLY WAS HIJACKED BY AN ANGRY MUSE 458 00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:27,414 DETERMINED TO SEND MY DO-OVERS OFF THE RAILS. 459 00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:30,817 OR WAS GUT SUBCONSCIOUSLY TRYING TO PROTECT ME 460 00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:33,486 FROM A MISERABLE FUTURE WITH BOTH GUYS? 461 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:36,223 WHICH MEANT THERE WAS A THIRD PARTY IN THE MIX. 462 00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:40,227 I COULD PICK JAKE OR MATTY OR NO ONE. 463 00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:43,530 - I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU BLEW OFF CAMP 464 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:46,266 FOR SUMMER SCHOOL. - IT WAS SO WORTH IT. 465 00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:49,236 WITH THE EXTRA CREDITS, I CAN GRADUATE EARLY. 466 00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:01,414 - WHY WOULD YOU WANNA DO THAT? 467 00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:04,384 - BECAUSE NOTHING INTERESTING EVER HAPPENS IN HIGH SCHOOL. 468 00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,653 - REALLY, NOT EVEN GETTING DIGITIZED 469 00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:09,589 BY RICKY SCHWARTZ IN THE BACK OF THE BUS? 470 00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:13,160 - YOU DIRTY LITTLE-- YOU KNOW WHAT. 471 00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:19,599 - IF YOU HAD GONE TO CAMP, "J," 472 00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:21,501 MAYBE YOU'D BE A WOMAN OF THE WORLD TOO. 473 00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:26,173 MATTY MCKIBBEN WORKED AT CAMP POOKAH THIS SUMMER. 474 00:18:26,173 --> 00:18:29,409 - WHY DOES EVERYONE ALWAYS CALL THAT GUY BY HIS FULL NAME? 475 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:32,179 - LIKE MATTY MCKIBBEN WOULD EVER NOTICE ME. 476 00:18:32,179 --> 00:18:33,580 - CAMP LEVELS OUT THE PLAYING FIELD. 477 00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:35,548 IMAGINE IF YOU GUYS HAD HOOKED UP, 478 00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:38,185 OR HAD SEX IN A CLOSET OR SOMETHING. 479 00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:39,219 BOY, THIS YEAR WOULD BE DIFFERENT. 480 00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:41,888 - ME AND MATTY MCKIBBEN? YEAH, RIGHT. 481 00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:46,326 - OH. WHOA. 482 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:47,794 I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT. 483 00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:49,596 - THAT'S OKAY. 484 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,764 - MISSED ONE. 485 00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:55,468 - WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A FLIRTATIOUS WINK 486 00:18:55,502 --> 00:18:58,471 FROM MATTY OR A COY SMILE FROM JAKE, 487 00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:00,573 THE BOYS WALKED OFF WITH THEIR GIRLS, 488 00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:04,211 NEVER EVEN BOTHERING TO ASK JENNA'S NAME. 489 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:17,424 [indistinct chatter] 490 00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:18,958 - ISN'T IT GREAT THAT MATTY AND JAKE 491 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:22,329 FINALLY CAME OUT OF THE CLOSET? 492 00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:29,736 WHAT I DISCOVERED ON MY JOURNEY INTO THE WORLD OF FICTION. 493 00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:32,772 ONE, THERE WAS NO POINT IN HOPING FOR A DO-OVER, 494 00:19:32,805 --> 00:19:35,375 BECAUSE SOMETIMES THEY SUCKED MORE THAN THE REALITY. 495 00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:37,610 TWO, I DID NOT WANT TO WRITE FICTION. 496 00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:40,613 THREE, I COULDN'T WRITE FICTION. 497 00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:42,749 AND FOUR, I COULDN'T WRITE THE FACTS 498 00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:44,584 WITH AN AUDIENCE. 499 00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:47,387 SO WHEN IT CAME TO THE BOYS, I HAD NO REGRETS. 500 00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:49,256 IF I HADN'T TRUSTED MY INSTINCTS, 501 00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:51,291 I WOULD'VE MISSED OUT ON SOME AMAZING 502 00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:54,327 AND INCREDIBLY PAINFUL EXPERIENCES, 503 00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:56,429 EXPERIENCES THAT MADE ME WHO I AM 504 00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:58,798 AND PAVED THE WAY FOR WHO I'D BE. 505 00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:01,668 GOOD, BAD, OR UGLY, I WAS GOING TO GO WITH MY GUT. 506 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:04,271 IF A DO-OVER WASN'T AN OPTION, 507 00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:05,805 MAYBE A START-OVER WAS. 508 00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:08,475 AND I FINALLY KNEW WHO IT WOULD BE WITH. 509 00:20:08,508 --> 00:20:10,777 BUT WHY WAS I TELLING THE PUBLIC AT LARGE? 510 00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:13,280 IT SHOULD BE PRIVATE. 511 00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:24,324 HI. 512 00:20:26,293 --> 00:20:27,394 NEXT ON AWKWARD... 513 00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:30,563 SPIN THE BOTTLE, IT WAS A REQUISITE RITE OF PASSAGE. 514 00:20:30,597 --> 00:20:33,366 THE BOTTLE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WANTED, BUT I DID. 515 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:34,601 REMEMBER, ALL GOOD THINGS IN MY LIFE 516 00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:36,503 ARE CLOSELY FOLLOWED BY SOMETHING BAD. 517 00:20:36,536 --> 00:20:39,639 THE OTHER SHOE IS POISED TO DROP AT ANY MOMENT. 518 00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:40,940 both: SURPRISE! 519 00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:42,942 - EVER HEARD OF A KNOCK? 36481

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