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1
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,080
- I COULDN'T SHAKE WHAT WAS
KEEPING ME AWAKE.
2
00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:13,647
THAT JAKE SAID HE LOVED ME.
3
00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:17,218
I DIDN'T SAY IT BACK,
AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHY.
4
00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:20,488
WHAT I DID KNOW WAS
WHY I LOVED ICE CREAM.
5
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:23,691
IT WAS A DELICIOUS,
COMFORTING AND CRUEL REMINDER
6
00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:26,294
OF HOW COLD I MUST HAVE SEEMED
WHEN I LEFT JAKE HANGING.
7
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:29,297
BUT I NEVER LEFT
MY HOODIES HANGING
8
00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:31,099
BECAUSE IT WAS
OBVIOUS I LOVED THEM.
9
00:00:31,132 --> 00:00:32,766
THEY WERE VERSATILE,
GOOD FOR ALL SEASONS
10
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,603
AND COULD HIDE ME FROM THE
PROBING, LATE NIGHT QUESTIONS
11
00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:37,171
I DIDN'T WANNA FACE.
12
00:00:37,205 --> 00:00:38,606
SO I DIDN'T KNOW HOW I FELT.
13
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,074
I KNEW HOW TO READ A LABEL.
14
00:00:40,108 --> 00:00:41,442
THE LABEL WOULD TELL ME HOW LONG
15
00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:43,544
IT WOULD TAKE
FOR MY PROBLEM TO GO AWAY.
16
00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:46,080
SIX WEEKS. THE SAME AMOUNT OF
TIME IT TOOK JAKE
17
00:00:46,114 --> 00:00:48,116
TO KNOW THAT HE LOVED ME.
18
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:50,084
MAYBE I DID KNOW.
19
00:00:50,118 --> 00:00:52,086
BUT I DIDN'T REALIZE IT YET.
20
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:53,754
BECAUSE IT WAS TOO SOON.
21
00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:55,289
AND THAT WAS OKAY.
22
00:00:55,323 --> 00:00:57,158
NOBODY FALLS IN LOVE OVERNIGHT.
23
00:00:57,191 --> 00:00:58,092
- IT HAPPENED OVERNIGHT.
24
00:00:58,126 --> 00:00:59,560
- I'M IN LOVE.
25
00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:01,762
- OR MAYBE THEY DO.
26
00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:11,639
- I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BEST FRIEND
IS IN LOVE AND ENGAGED!
27
00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:13,807
- AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY "IT
HAPPENED OVERNIGHT"?
28
00:01:13,841 --> 00:01:16,577
CONSIDERING THAT ALLY'S LONGEST
RELATIONSHIP WAS WITH NICOTINE,
29
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:19,580
HER SPONTANEOUS ENGAGEMENT
SEEMED A BIT SKETCH.
30
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:21,215
- DETAILS. WE WANT THEM ALL.
31
00:01:21,249 --> 00:01:23,384
- DAN. THAT'S HIS NAME.
32
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:24,885
- YOU WERE ALWAYS
SO GOOD WITH DANS.
33
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:27,188
- MM-HMM.
- WHAT DOES HE DO?
34
00:01:27,221 --> 00:01:29,557
- UGH, SOMETHING BUSINESS-Y.
35
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:32,726
I'M NOT CLEAR ON EXACTLY WHAT,
BUT THE MAN IS FLUSH.
36
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,629
AND THE MAN DRIVES A PORSCHE
37
00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:38,532
WITH A PERSONALIZED LICENSE
PLATE THAT SAYS--
38
00:01:38,566 --> 00:01:39,600
- "DAN THE MAN"?
39
00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:41,435
- YES! GOOD GUESS.
40
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:42,236
- IT WAS EDUCATED.
41
00:01:42,270 --> 00:01:44,238
IF THE DUDE WANTED
TO MARRY ALLY,
42
00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:45,839
HE HAD TO HAVE
QUESTIONABLE TASTE.
43
00:01:45,873 --> 00:01:46,874
- DON'T JUDGE, LIL' BITCH.
44
00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:47,841
BE GRATEFUL THAT YOUR FUTURE
45
00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,210
UNCLE IN LAW CAN AFFORD
46
00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:50,411
TO SURGICALLY PACK YOUR CANS
47
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:51,679
SINCE NATURE'S NOT GOING TO.
48
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,347
- LOVE HIM ALREADY.
49
00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:55,449
- SO, TWO WEEKS AGO, WHILE I WAS
VISITING MY FOLKS,
50
00:01:55,483 --> 00:01:56,917
I WAS WORKING DOWN
AT THE BEACH CLUB
51
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,719
WHILE I PRETENDED
TO LOOK FOR A JOB.
52
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:00,488
MEANWHILE, DAN WAS PRETENDING
TO WORK OUT
53
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:03,457
WHILE HE MADE IT HIS JOB TO
WATCH ME SWEAT.
54
00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:05,726
[both chuckle]
55
00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:07,728
- AND THEN YOU GOT TO KNOW HIM
AND HE SAID HE LOVED YOU
56
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:09,530
AND WHILE YOU WEREN'T SURE HOW
YOU FELT AT FIRST,
57
00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:11,299
YOU SOON REALIZED THAT HE WAS
THE BEST GUY YOU EVER MET?
58
00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:13,601
- NO. THEN WE WENT TO PARIS
59
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:17,571
AND HE PUT A 4.6 KARAT
ROCK ON MY FINGER. BAM!
60
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:19,307
- HE TOOK YOU TO PARIS?
61
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:21,442
- AND HE GAVE ME HIS BLACK AMEX.
62
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,411
- SO WHEN DID
YOU KNOW YOU LOVED HIM?
63
00:02:23,444 --> 00:02:25,513
- I DON'T KNOW.
IN THE AIRPORT?
64
00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:27,948
I CAN'T REMEMBER
ALL THE DETAILS.
65
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,251
CAN'T YOU JUST BE HAPPY
FOR ME?
66
00:02:30,284 --> 00:02:31,685
- JENNA, WE SAW THAT.
67
00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:33,287
- IT WAS A SUPPORTIVE EYE ROLL,
68
00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:34,822
BECAUSE NOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO
GET A JOB.
69
00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:35,856
- I KNOW!
70
00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:37,291
- I DON'T KNOW,
71
00:02:37,325 --> 00:02:38,359
I JUST DIDN'T SAY IT BACK.
72
00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:39,793
- SO YOU LEFT JAKE HANGING?
73
00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:41,429
- NO, I KISSED HIM.
74
00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:43,564
- OKAY, THIS IS PROMISING.
AND THEN?
75
00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:44,898
- AND THEN I MIGHT HAVE SAID,
"AWESOME."
76
00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:46,734
- HOLY PULLED GOALIE.
77
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:48,736
- EXACTLY, IT WAS PRE-EMOTIONAL
EJACULATION.
78
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:51,572
- NO, SAYING "AWESOME"
ON THE HEELS OF AN ILY
79
00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:54,242
IS THE EQUIVALENT OF KNOCKING
SOMEONE UP WITH HEARTACHE.
80
00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:55,609
- OR PEEING IN THEIR FACE.
81
00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:56,944
- WHICH YOU WOULDN'T KNOW,
TINKLE-BELL.
82
00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:58,246
- THAT'S RIGHT.
83
00:02:58,246 --> 00:02:58,946
I HAVE AN EXPLOSIVE BLADDER.
84
00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:00,514
IT HAS A MIND OF ITS OWN
85
00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:02,616
SO STEP AWAY OR
I MIGHT SPRAY YOU.
86
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:04,552
OKAY, THINK FAST.
87
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:07,255
IMAGINE I'M AN UNHINGED,
OVER-MEDICATED HAIR STYLIST
88
00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:08,722
AND I'M ABOUT TO MOW DOWN YOUR
MANE THAT YOU'VE BEEN GROWING
89
00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:10,258
SINCE THE FOURTH GRADE UNLESS
YOU ANSWER
90
00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:11,759
THIS QUESTION HONESTLY.
91
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:12,793
ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH JAKE?
92
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:14,462
ONE. TWO.
93
00:03:14,495 --> 00:03:15,729
- IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T FEEL
SOMETHING.
94
00:03:15,763 --> 00:03:16,930
IT'S JUST THAT I'M NOT SURE
I FEEL "IT".
95
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:18,732
- YOU'RE NOT IN LOVE.
96
00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:20,801
- DON'T BE SO TENTATIVE.
97
00:03:20,834 --> 00:03:22,403
GRAB 'EM!
98
00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:23,671
- I LIKE IT WHEN
YOU TAKE CHARGE.
99
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,439
- AND I LIKE IT
WHEN YOU DON'T SPEAK.
100
00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:27,308
- OH, YOU'RE SUCH A WOMAN.
101
00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:30,578
- PIPE DOWN AND FEEL ME UP.
102
00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:31,945
- I CAN'T STOP
THINKING ABOUT YOU.
103
00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:33,447
AND YOU CAN'T TELL ME YOU DON'T
104
00:03:33,481 --> 00:03:34,748
FEEL WHAT'S HAPPENING
BETWEEN US.
105
00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:36,284
- OH, I CAN.
106
00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:37,351
AND IF YOU'D SHUT UP,
107
00:03:37,385 --> 00:03:39,853
I MIGHT LET IT OUT TO BREATHE.
108
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:42,323
- THIS ISN'T JUST SOME SORDID
AFFAIR, DOLLFACE.
109
00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:44,625
I WANNA WIN YOUR HEART.
110
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:48,996
- I AM NOT, NOR WILL I EVER BE
YOUR DOLLFACE.
111
00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:50,731
- WHY NOT?
- IT SHOULD BE OBVI,
112
00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:53,401
BUT I GUESS I NEED
TO BREAK IT DOWN.
113
00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:54,968
I DON'T DO BAND GEEKS.
114
00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:56,470
AT LEAST NOT IN PUBLIC.
115
00:03:56,504 --> 00:04:00,774
- AH, BUT I'M THE SCHWARTZMAN.
116
00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:01,875
I AM THE BAND.
117
00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:05,646
- THEN THIS IS ALL YOU GET.
118
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:13,454
- OKAY, SO LET'S
SAY I'M NOT IN LOVE,
119
00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:14,655
WHICH I'M NOT SAYING.
120
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:16,357
WHAT DO I DO?
- BREAK UP.
121
00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:18,359
- BREAK UP? WHY?
- BECAUSE IT'S NOT FAIR.
122
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:19,460
YOU'RE LEADING HIM ON.
123
00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:20,928
- I'M NOT LEADING HIM ON.
124
00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:22,062
I'M TAKING MY TIME.
125
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,397
- MATTY DID THAT WITH ME
126
00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:24,698
AND HE CAME AROUND EVENTUALLY.
127
00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:26,734
- WHEN YOU WERE IN
A NEW RELATIONSHIP.
128
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,602
BUT I LOVE BEING
JAKE'S GIRLFRIEND.
129
00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:30,037
SEE, LOVE JUST
SLIPPED RIGHT OUT.
130
00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:31,739
TOTALLY UNPROVOKED.
131
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:32,773
THAT'S A GOOD SIGN.
132
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:34,408
MAYBE I'M COMING AROUND.
133
00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:36,677
- YOU DON'T JUST COME AROUND.
YOU KNOW.
134
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,812
LIKE WITH FRED,
I COULD TELL THE SECOND
135
00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:41,582
HE PUMPED ME A CUP WITH MORE
FOAM THAN BEER.
136
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,584
HE COULD SENSE I WAS
A LIGHTWEIGHT.
137
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:45,686
- I THINK EVERYONE
COULD SENSE THAT
138
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:46,920
WHEN YOU WERE
BLOWING CHUNKS BY THE DOOR.
139
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:49,357
BUT, THAT DOESN'T
TAKE ANYTHING AWAY
140
00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:50,758
FROM THE FACT
THAT YOU KNOW, MING.
141
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,760
'CAUSE PEOPLE JUST KNOW
WHEN THEY KNOW.
142
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:55,429
- BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW
WHEN YOU KNOW?
143
00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:59,733
- HEY, BEAUTIFUL.
- DIE.
144
00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:00,801
DAMN IT.
145
00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:02,370
YOU JUST KNOW.
146
00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:03,371
- AND YOU KNOW I'M THE ONE
147
00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:04,872
AND ONLY JAKE ROSATI,
148
00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,073
WITH A SPECIAL GUEST.
149
00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:08,108
- MATTY MCKIBBEN.
150
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,678
- AND THESE ARE THE PALACE HILLS
MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS.
151
00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:12,613
IT'S BLACK HISTORY MONTH,
TITANS,
152
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,882
AND SO TODAY WE HAVE A VERY
SPECIAL HISTORY LESSON
153
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:17,050
BROUGHT TO YOU VIA RECORDING
FROM OUR VERY OWN,
154
00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:20,988
VERY WHITE HISTORY TEACHER,
MR. SAMUEL WOLLMAN.
155
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:25,025
- SO LAST NIGHT...ENDING UP
AT THE SAME PLACE.
156
00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:26,860
THAT WAS A LITTLE AWKWARD.
- YEAH.
157
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,128
BUT NOT AS AWKWARD AS IT WAS
158
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,563
WHEN I TOLD JENNA
THAT I LOVED HER.
159
00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:31,098
- WHAT? WHEN DID
YOU GUYS HAVE SEX?
160
00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:33,033
- WE HAVEN'T.
161
00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:35,403
BUT THAT'S OFF THE TABLE
BECAUSE I FREAKED HER OUT.
162
00:05:35,403 --> 00:05:36,704
YOU KNOW WHAT
HER RESPONSE TO ME WAS?
163
00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,672
"AWESOME."
164
00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:39,473
- YEAH,
THAT'S BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SAY
165
00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:41,409
"I LOVE YOU"
BEFORE YOU HAVE SEX.
166
00:05:41,409 --> 00:05:42,576
- COME ON, MAN,
THERE ISN'T AN ORDER.
167
00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:44,878
- DUDE YOU ARE SO JV.
[laughs]
168
00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:48,416
RIGHT NOW YOU ARE AT THE
"I LOVE HANGING OUT WITH YOU"
169
00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:50,518
OR THE "I LOVE
BEING AROUND YOU" PHASE.
170
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:51,719
YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BLOW
171
00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:53,587
THE "I LOVE YOU" WAD
UNTIL AFTER SEX.
172
00:05:53,621 --> 00:05:55,155
THAT'S THE CARROT YOU DANGLE
TO GET IT, BABY.
173
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,425
- I COULD JUST TAKE IT BACK.
- YOU CAN'T TAKE IT BACK.
174
00:05:57,425 --> 00:05:58,692
IT'S OUT THERE.
175
00:05:58,726 --> 00:06:00,160
NOW YOU JUST GOTTA PLAY IT COOL,
ALL RIGHT.
176
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:03,797
- EASY FOR YOU TO SAY, YOU'VE
NEVER BEEN IN LOVE BEFORE.
177
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:04,832
- AHA.
178
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:06,434
EVIDENCE OF MY LOVE.
179
00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:08,702
NOTE THE BIG SMILE,
WARM EMBRACE.
180
00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:13,441
NEED I SAY MORE?
181
00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:15,008
HEY, DO WE LOOK IN LOVE?
182
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,610
THANK YOU.
183
00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:17,445
IF I DIDN'T KNOW THESE PEOPLE,
184
00:06:17,445 --> 00:06:18,546
I'D BE CONVINCED.
185
00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:20,080
- BUT YOU DO KNOW THESE PEOPLE.
186
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:22,650
AND YOU DON'T NEED TO CONVINCE
ME OR ANYONE ELSE.
187
00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:25,018
YOU NEED TO CONVINCE YOURSELF
AND MAYBE YOUR NOTEBOOK.
188
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,554
- OF WHAT?
189
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:28,756
- THAT YOU'RE NOT
STILL INTO MATTY.
190
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:31,459
- NO WAY.
THAT SHIP HAS SAILED.
191
00:06:31,459 --> 00:06:32,960
IT WASN'T ENTIRELY TRUE.
192
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:35,829
MY FEELINGS FOR MATTY WERE
PRESENT AND ACCOUNTED FOR.
193
00:06:35,863 --> 00:06:39,066
BUT LIKE JAKE, I DIDN'T KNOW
HOW TO INTERPRET THEM.
194
00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:42,069
WAS RESIDUAL LOVE FOR MATTY
CLOUDING MY NEW LOVE FOR JAKE?
195
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:45,773
- WE KNOW YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH
MATTY, BUT WHEN DID YOU KNOW?
196
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:50,911
- IT WAS...AFTER WE HAD SEX.
- OKAY.
197
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,780
YOU HAVE TO HAVE SEX WITH JAKE,
THEN YOU'LL KNOW.
198
00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:55,148
- I WASN'T SURE I WAS READY
TO HAVE SEX WITH JAKE.
199
00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:57,184
IT WASN'T A QUESTION I EVER
PONDERED WITH MATTY.
200
00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:58,752
I JUST DID IT.
201
00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:01,021
DID I JUST NEED
TO DO "IT" AGAIN?
202
00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:02,790
[bell rings]
203
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,033
- [chuckles]
204
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:14,968
- HEY.
205
00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:16,770
- YO.
206
00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:18,572
- I'VE BEEN THINKING--
- THAT'S FUNNY.
207
00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:20,674
BECAUSE, UH,
LAST NIGHT, I WASN'T.
208
00:07:20,708 --> 00:07:23,143
I THINK I KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE ABOUT TO SAY.
209
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:24,778
- WE SHOULD HAVE SEX.
- WHAT?
210
00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:26,980
- [over intercom]
I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE SEX.
211
00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:29,817
[all laugh]
212
00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:31,018
- OH, UH, THE MIC.
213
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,686
- WAS THAT JUST--
- YEAH.
214
00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:40,027
SO, I HAD MEGAPHONED MY
MISSION TO BANG MY BO.
215
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:42,596
MAYBE NO ONE KNEW THE VOICE
OVER THE P.A. WAS ME.
216
00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:45,966
- DUDE, YO I HEARD
JENNA HAMILTON ROLLS COMMANDO
217
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:48,001
SO SHE'S GOOD TO GO
AT ALL TIMES.
218
00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:50,671
- APPARENTLY,
JENNA HAMILTON CAN'T LIVE
219
00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:52,573
WITHOUT JAKE'S MAN JUICE.
220
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:55,543
- JENNA HAMILTON CAN'T
KEEP IT IN HER PANTS.
221
00:07:55,543 --> 00:07:58,245
SLUT.
222
00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:00,280
- I WAS OVERREACTING.
223
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,583
THERE WAS NOTHING TO AVOID.
224
00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:04,552
NOTHING BUT--
[both laugh]
225
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:05,586
MY PILE OF DENIAL.
226
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:08,288
WHICH I HAD STEPPED IN. AGAIN.
227
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:10,157
- I'M DOWN TO BONE.
228
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:13,961
- NICE TRY, DUDE, BUT THE GIRL'S
GOT HIGHER STANDARDS.
229
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,797
WHICH I WOULD KNOW FIRSTHAND.
230
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,600
COME ON, IT WAS A JOKE.
- NOT FUNNY.
231
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:21,268
- OKAY, I'LL QUIT.
232
00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:23,871
SO...
- SO...
233
00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:25,238
- YOU AND JAKE
ARE GONNA DO THE DEED.
234
00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:29,176
- I REALIZE I MADE
A VERY PUBLIC PRONOUNCEMENT,
235
00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:30,711
BUT I'M NOT READY TO DISCUSS
THE DETAILS WITH YOU.
236
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:31,712
- WHY NOT?
237
00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:33,080
- UM, BECAUSE YOU AND I
238
00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:34,582
WERE JUST SEALING THE DEAL
A FEW MONTHS AGO
239
00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:35,749
AND BECAUSE IT'S WEIRD.
240
00:08:35,783 --> 00:08:37,050
- MAYBE TALKING ABOUT IT
241
00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:38,686
WILL HELP US GET OUT OF
THE WEIRD ZONE
242
00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:40,287
AND PUT US
INTO THE FRIEND ONE.
243
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,055
YOU SHOULD LET ME CASUALLY
GIVE JAKE SOME POINTERS
244
00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:44,692
ABOUT THE JENNA
DOs AND DON'Ts.
245
00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:47,294
- WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
JENNA'S DOs AND DON'Ts?
246
00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:49,062
- YOU KNOW, THE STUFF YOU DO
AND DON'T LIKE WHEN DOING IT.
247
00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:51,832
- I DO NOT HAVE
DOs AND DON'Ts.
248
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,300
- OH, YES YOU DO.
REMEMBER THE PLAYHOUSE?
249
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:54,735
YOU WERE ON TOP OF ME,
AND YOU--
250
00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:56,870
- DO NOT TELL JAKE TO DO THAT.
251
00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:58,672
- I'M NOT GONNA
TELL JAKE ANYTHING.
252
00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:02,710
BUT I WILL TELL YOU THIS.
GO EASY, HE'S NERVOUS.
253
00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:05,679
HE REALLY...LIKES YOU.
254
00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:08,048
- WHILE THE JAKE CASE WAS STILL
UNDER INVESTIGATION,
255
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:11,251
I REALIZED THE MATTY CASE HAD
NOT GONE COLD.
256
00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:13,887
IT WAS CLOSED 'CAUSE I FINALLY
KNEW SOMETHING.
257
00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:15,188
MATTY AND I WERE FRIENDS.
258
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:19,292
- WHAT'S UP, SUICIDAL SLUT?
259
00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:22,195
GET USED TO IT, SEX IS GONNA PAY
YOUR WAY THROUGH COLLEGE.
260
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:23,296
YOU'RE WELCOME.
261
00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:27,000
- MMM, DOLLFACE.
262
00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:28,836
- SKEDATZ,
I HAVE A CALL TO MAKE.
263
00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:32,239
DON'T LOOK AT ME, KEEP MOVING,
PULL OUT YOUR PHONE
264
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:34,775
AND PRETEND YOU'RE
HAVING A CONVERSATION.
265
00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:39,179
WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN US WAS
SUPPOSED TO BE A ONE TIME DEAL.
266
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,682
ONE AND DONE.
267
00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:44,818
IT WAS VALENTINE'S DAY, AND I
WAS IN A VULNERABLE PLACE.
268
00:09:44,852 --> 00:09:47,688
THIS MORNING WAS...HORMONAL.
269
00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:49,289
DON'T READ INTO IT!
270
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:52,259
- I'M GONNA FALL APART
WITHOUT YOU, DOLLFACE.
271
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:53,661
YOU CAN LIVE WITH THAT?
272
00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:55,228
I'M GONNA CRY.
273
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,130
I'M SERIOUSLY GONNA CRY RIGHT
HERE RIGHT NOW.
274
00:09:57,164 --> 00:09:59,399
- FINE, MEET ME AFTER SCHOOL.
275
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:02,135
BUT CONSIDER IT A PARTING GIFT.
276
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:09,209
- I KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE DOING AFTER SCHOOL.
277
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:10,678
- EVERYONE DOES.
278
00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:11,812
- IF IT ISN'T "INFO NYMPHO"
279
00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:12,980
AND "PEED-HER-PANTS PANTS."
280
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:16,650
- I PREFER TINKLE-BELL,
THANK YOU!
281
00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:17,851
IT'S FUN TO BE US.
282
00:10:17,885 --> 00:10:19,352
- [over intercom]
JENNA HAMILTON,
283
00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:22,289
PLEASE REPORT TO
THE VICE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE.
284
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:26,393
- SO, I HEARD THERE MIGHT BE
SOMETHING YOU WANNA DISCUSS.
285
00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:27,728
- NOPE. NOTHING.
286
00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:29,196
- NOT EVEN...
287
00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:32,065
CHUGGA-CHUGGA-CHUGGA
-CHOO-CHOO?
288
00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:34,034
- DEFINITELY NOT THAT.
- ALL RIGHT, LISTEN.
289
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:35,102
- I'M GONNA GIVE
YOU A LITTLE ADVICE
290
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,770
THAT MY MOM IMPARTED ON ME.
291
00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:38,438
ALWAYS BE A LADY IN THE STREET,
292
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:41,408
FREAK IN THE SHEETS,
AND QUIET OVER THE P.A. SYSTEM.
293
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,110
- YOUR MOM SAID THAT?
294
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,778
- ACTUALLY,
IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN USHER.
295
00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:47,214
AND THE P.A. TIDBIT, THAT'S
JUST MY OWN RULE OF THUMB.
296
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:49,082
I FIND THAT SOMETIMES
IT'S BETTER TO USE
297
00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:53,253
SUGGESTIVE GESTURES IN PUBLIC
RATHER THAN OVERT EXPRESSIONS
298
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:56,156
LIKE, "DO ME, BIG BOY."
- I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
299
00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:57,691
- NO WHAT YOU SAID
JUST SPELLED IT OUT.
300
00:10:57,725 --> 00:10:58,926
AT LEAST "DO ME, BIG BOY"
301
00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:00,227
HAS ALTERNATE CONNOTATIONS,
302
00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:02,429
LIKE SPREADING MUSTARD
ON A FOOTLONG.
303
00:11:02,462 --> 00:11:06,366
JENNA, I AM NOT TRYING TO
FURTHER YOUR EMBARRASSMENT
304
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:09,369
OR TURN THIS INTO A BIGGER DEAL
THAN IT ALREADY IS,
305
00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:12,372
BUT YOU COULD GO TO JAIL!
- FOR WHAT?
306
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:14,307
- P.M.U.I.
307
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,276
PREMEDITATED
UNDERAGE INTERCOURSE.
308
00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:19,112
- THERE'S NO LAW AGAINST
WANTING TO HAVE SEX.
309
00:11:19,146 --> 00:11:20,447
- THERE IS IF YOU WANNA
HAVE SEX WITH A MINOR.
310
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:21,448
- WE'RE BOTH MINORS.
311
00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:22,482
I'M NOT A PERVERT.
312
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:23,951
- WELL...
313
00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:24,785
THAT'S STILL UP FOR DEBATE.
314
00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:25,953
I MEAN, WE ALREADY KNOW
315
00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:27,187
YOU HAVE A FETISH
FOR OPEN FORUMS.
316
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:30,023
- CAN I GO NOW?
- SURE, SEE YOU AT HOME.
317
00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:31,825
- WHAT?
- OH, I'M GOING TO YOGA
318
00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:33,293
THIS AFTERNOON WITH L-DAWG.
319
00:11:33,326 --> 00:11:35,428
YOUR MOM.
320
00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:39,199
DON'T WORRY, I WON'T LET HER
KNOW YOU'RE A HO-BAG.
321
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:43,937
- BETWEEN ALL THE HECKLES AND
HOWLS, I HAD COME TO MY SENSES.
322
00:11:43,971 --> 00:11:46,073
SEX WAS NOT THE ANSWER.
323
00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:48,776
- THE ANSWER IS YES.
- TO WHAT?
324
00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:51,011
- TO THE QUESTION THAT REVERBED
AROUND THE HALL?
325
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,813
- THAT WAS MORE OF A STATEMENT.
326
00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:55,282
- EITHER WAY, I'M IN.
327
00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:57,384
- OKAY, SO I GUESS WE SHOULD
TALK LOGISTICS.
328
00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:59,252
WHEN DO YOU WANNA DO IT?
- AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
329
00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:02,823
- OKAY, HOW'S
TOMORROW AFTER SCHOOL?
330
00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:05,525
- UH, I HAVE ASB. FRIDAY?
331
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,027
- OUT WITH MY DAD. DARN IT.
332
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:07,828
GUESS WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO WAIT.
333
00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:08,962
AND MAYBE FORGET.
334
00:12:08,996 --> 00:12:11,965
- OKAY, WELL LET'S JUST LOOK
335
00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:13,901
AT NEXT WEEK
AND PENCIL IT IN.
336
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:16,436
YOU KNOW, SO WE DON'T FORGET.
337
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:19,907
IT LOOKS LIKE I COULD
SQUEEZE IT IN NOW. YOU?
338
00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:21,508
- YOU'RE IN LUCK.
339
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,343
AND I WAS IN TROUBLE.
340
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:24,912
THERE WERE NO
TAKE-BACKS WITH SEX.
341
00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:26,413
GOOD TO GO. WHERE TO?
342
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:28,448
- MY CAR?
- IT'S TOO SMALL.
343
00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:30,183
- OH, YEAH.
344
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:31,819
WELL DOESN'T YOUR MOM
HAVE YOGA TODAY?
345
00:12:31,819 --> 00:12:33,453
- YEAH, BUT SHE'S ONLY GONNA BE
GONE TWO HOURS.
346
00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:34,521
- TWO HOURS.
347
00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:36,824
I'LL BE LUCKY IF
I LAST TWO MINUTES.
348
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:37,357
- [chuckles]
- I MEAN...
349
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:39,492
UH, 20..MINUTES.
350
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:42,495
ARE YOU SURE YOU WANNA DO THIS?
WE DON'T HAVE TO.
351
00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:43,931
YOU KNOW,
IF YOU'RE NERVOUS, OR...
352
00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:46,066
- AND LIKE THAT, I WASN'T.
353
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,300
JAKE WASN'T LAYING
ON THE PRESSURE.
354
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:48,902
HE WAS BUCKLING UNDER IT.
355
00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:50,103
I WANNA DO IT.
- YES!
356
00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:52,940
I MEAN, IT'S COOL, BABY.
357
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:55,375
- I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WANTED TO
DO IT IN YOUR CAR.
358
00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:57,945
[kissing noises]
359
00:12:57,978 --> 00:12:59,880
- I QUIT BAND.
- GOOD FOR YOU.
360
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:04,351
- BABE, I TRADED IN MY TENOR SAX
FOR MY TENDER SAXTON.
361
00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:07,855
- THAT WAS IDIOTIC.
- I'M A FOOL.
362
00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:09,122
FOOL FOR LOVE.
363
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:11,024
- WHAT THE HELL
IS WRONG WITH YOU?
364
00:13:11,058 --> 00:13:14,461
I TREAT YOU LIKE CRAP AND YOU
KEEP COMING BACK FOR MORE.
365
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:15,528
- I GET IT.
366
00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:16,496
YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR ME.
367
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:17,730
I KNEW I COULD NEVER BE
368
00:13:17,764 --> 00:13:22,435
WITH A GIRL AS FUNNY AND AS
SMART AND AS BEAUTIFUL AS YOU,
369
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:25,272
BUT I HAD TO TRY.
370
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,540
- WHY CAN'T THIS
JUST BE ABOUT SEX?
371
00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:30,377
- WELL, WE AREN'T HAVING SEX.
- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
372
00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:32,512
- DON'T PLAY WITH ME,
DOLLFACE.
373
00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:34,281
IF I DON'T HAVE YOU
AND I DON'T HAVE THE BAND,
374
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,615
I GOT NOTHING IN THIS WORLD.
375
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:39,586
- AW, JESUS, KISS ME
BEFORE I THROW UP.
376
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:41,321
- ARE YOU EXCITED?
377
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:43,891
- I CAN TELL YOU ARE.
- WE'RE DOING THIS.
378
00:13:43,891 --> 00:13:46,493
WE'RE REALLY DOING THIS.
379
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,899
- OH...
380
00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:54,034
- WE'RE NOT DOING THIS.
381
00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:58,305
MOM ISN'T IT TIME FOR YOGA?
382
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,273
- ALLY HERE PERSUADED US
TO DOWN THE HATCH
383
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:02,542
INSTEAD OF DOWNWARD THE DOG.
384
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:07,047
WAIT A MINUTE, DID WE SPOIL
YOUR PLAN TO HAVE SEX?
385
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,248
- [gasps]
- [giggles]
386
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:11,184
- AND ON THAT NOTE,
NICE TO SEE YOU.
387
00:14:11,218 --> 00:14:12,552
RAIN CHECK?
- RAIN CHECK.
388
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:15,322
[all giggle]
389
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:22,129
[doorbell rings]
390
00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:26,399
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
391
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:28,601
- OH, IT'S MY FAVORITE NIECE.
392
00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:31,071
- I'M YOUR ONLY NIECE.
393
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:33,006
- DAN THE MAN IS YOUR UNCLE?
394
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,174
- JENNA'S ALSO HER NIECE.
395
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,175
- PLEASE TELL ME WE ARE
396
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,944
NOT ABOUT TO BE RELATED.
397
00:14:36,944 --> 00:14:38,946
- SHE'S ALL YOURS.
- SO YOU GUYS KNOW EACH OTHER?
398
00:14:38,946 --> 00:14:39,947
- EVERYONE KNOWS JENNA.
399
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:41,514
SHE HAS A REPUTATION.
400
00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,083
ARE YOU READY TO GO?
401
00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:46,619
- JENNA, ISN'T IT FUN
THAT DAN IS SADIE'S UNCLE
402
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:49,589
AND HE WENT
TO PALACE HILLS, TOO.
403
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:53,961
ALTHOUGH HE MUST HAVE BEEN
A FEW YEARS AHEAD OF US.
404
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:55,062
- HOW ABOUT A DECADE?
405
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:57,064
MY UNCLE LIKE 'EM YOUNG.
406
00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:59,032
WELL, YOUNG-ISH.
407
00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:00,133
- THANKS, SWEETS.
408
00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:02,169
HE'S NOT QUITE THE TEN I AM.
409
00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:04,304
- LET'S BE HONEST, HE'S A FOUR.
410
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:06,106
AND SINCE WE'RE
ABOUT TO BE FAMILY,
411
00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:07,507
I WON'T PULL ANY PUNCHES.
412
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:10,410
YOU'RE MORE OF A SIX.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
413
00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:12,980
- YOU'RE PRETTY FUNNY
FOR A BIG GIRL.
414
00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:16,016
- AND YOU'RE REFRESHINGLY
TRANSPARENT FOR A GOLD-DIGGER.
415
00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:18,651
- AL, I'M WORRIED.
I REALLY THINK YOU NEED
416
00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:21,654
TO SLEEP WITH DAN
BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED.
417
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:24,191
- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, YOU HAVEN'T
SAMPLED THE GOODS?
418
00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:29,096
- OH, I'VE SAMPLED AND LET ME
TELL YOU, HE IS WELL-ENDOWED.
419
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:30,998
IN THE BANK.
- WOO WOO!
420
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:34,001
- WHY ARE YOU DEFLECTING.
- SHE'S GOT HERPES.
421
00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:36,603
- I'M NOT GONNA LIE, I'VE HAD TO
GET PAST A FEW THINGS.
422
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,271
LIKE HIS BACK.
423
00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:39,639
I MEAN, THE MAN MIGHT
BE PART-BEAR.
424
00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:40,740
BUT HE THINKS I'M SMART
425
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,609
AND FUNNY AND BEAUTIFUL.
426
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:44,177
- [loud whisper]
HE'S TRYING TO GET LAID.
427
00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:46,013
- HE SEES ME THE WAY I SEE
MYSELF.
428
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:48,015
PERFECT AS IS.
429
00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:51,018
- THAT'S WHY I WANT OUR FIRST
TIME TO BE SPECIAL.
430
00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:53,153
- BUT IT ISN'T YOUR FIRST TIME,
SO HOW CAN IT BE SPECIAL?
431
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:54,621
- OH, IT CAN BE SPECIAL.
432
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:56,723
YOUR DAD WAS SPECIAL.
- THAT DOESN'T COUNT.
433
00:15:56,756 --> 00:15:57,757
HE WAS YOU ONE AND ONLY.
434
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,026
- [stifles laugh]
435
00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:01,228
- SHH!
- [laughs]
436
00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:03,530
YOUR MOM HAD A LIFE
BEFORE YOUR DAD.
437
00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:05,298
BUT NOT QUITE THE LIFE
I'VE HAD.
438
00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:09,036
- THAT IS CODE FOR HUGE
VA-JAY-JAY.
439
00:16:09,069 --> 00:16:10,303
- I USED TO JUMP INTO THE SACK
440
00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:12,172
THINKING IT WOULD
CLARIFY HOW I FELT.
441
00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:13,473
- AND DID IT?
- NO.
442
00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:15,142
IF THE FEELINGS
WEREN'T THERE BEFORE,
443
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:17,477
THEN THE SEX WAS JUST THAT. SEX.
444
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:20,613
BY THE WAY, LACE,
YOU COULD USE SOME.
445
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:23,416
WE'RE GONNA START MINING
YOUR NEW HUSBAND PROSPECTS
446
00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:26,319
AT MY WEDDING.
[laughs]
447
00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:29,722
- ARE YOU IMPLYING
THAT MY CURRENT HUSBAND
448
00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:31,258
ISN'T GONNA WORK OUT?
449
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:33,526
BECAUSE...I'M A TERRIBLE PERSON
450
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:36,329
AND HE DESERVES BETTER.
[sobs]
451
00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:40,100
I DON'T THINK
HE LOVES ME ANYMORE.
452
00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:43,103
- YOU KNOW, IF YOU DRINK ENOUGH
WINE, IT TASTES LIKE LOVE.
453
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:48,075
- I'M GONNA GO TO MY ROOM.
454
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:49,776
- SKINNY BITCH.
all: YEAH?
455
00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:51,278
- I'M LEAVING IN THREE MINUTES
SO YOU BETTER DEAL
456
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:53,780
WITH THIS EMOTIONAL
CRISIS QUICKLY.
457
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:55,515
I'LL BE IN THE CAR.
458
00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:58,218
- I HATE HER.
- I LOVE HER.
459
00:16:58,251 --> 00:17:03,156
[phone rings]
460
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:04,391
- DOLLFACE?
461
00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:05,425
- DID YOU MEAN ALL THOSE THINGS
462
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:06,559
YOU SAID TO ME TODAY?
463
00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:08,195
- WHICH ONES?
- ALL OF THEM.
464
00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:10,097
- YES, OF COURSE.
465
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:11,198
- DO YOU HATE ME?
466
00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:12,232
- NO.
467
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,501
- DO YOU LIKE ME?
- MAYBE.
468
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:15,735
- CAN I TAKE YOU TO DINNER?
469
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:18,638
- DON'T PUSH IT,
BUT CALL ME LATER.
470
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:20,140
- YES!
471
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,211
- ON MY QUEST
TO FIGURE OUT MY FEELINGS,
472
00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:26,346
I WAS LEFT ONLY MORE CONFUSED.
473
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,215
IF SEX WOULDN'T
CLARIFY ANYTHING,
474
00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:29,582
WAS IT WORTH THE RISK?
475
00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:33,786
- HONEY?
476
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:37,524
I AM SORRY WE GOT CARRIED AWAY
WITH ALL OF THAT GIRL TALK.
477
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,492
I DID NOT MEAN
TO EMBARRASS YOU.
478
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:41,128
- DON'T WORRY,
IT WASN'T THE FIRST TIME.
479
00:17:41,128 --> 00:17:43,363
- AND IT WON'T BE THE LAST.
480
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,133
- MOM, WERE YOU IN LOVE WITH
THE OTHER GUYS YOU SLEPT WITH?
481
00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:48,668
- GUY. THERE WAS ONLY ONE.
482
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:51,504
AND I DON'T KNOW IF I WAS IN
LOVE WITH HIM.
483
00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:54,407
WE HAD SEX BEFORE
I KNEW HOW I FELT.
484
00:17:54,441 --> 00:17:57,710
BUT WITH YOUR DAD, IT JUST...
485
00:17:57,744 --> 00:18:01,181
IT ALL HAPPENED
AT THE SAME TIME.
486
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:03,583
JENNA, CONTRARY TO THE ADVICE
487
00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:06,486
I'VE BEEN GIVING ALLY,
YOU NEED TO KNOW
488
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:11,158
THAT EVERY FIRST TIME
IS THE FIRST TIME.
489
00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:13,726
AND IT SHOULD BE SPECIAL.
490
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:21,168
- HEY.
- OH, HEY, BABE.
491
00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:22,469
- PICK ME UP IN TEN.
492
00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:24,437
I'LL BRING THE CONDOMS.
493
00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:29,176
WELL, HERE WE ARE.
494
00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:31,778
- YEP, HERE WE ARE
IN YOUR MOM'S MINIVAN
495
00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:33,213
IN A DISCRETE LOCATION.
496
00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:35,315
CALL ME CRAZY, BUT THIS FEELS
A LITTLE HINKY.
497
00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:37,584
- DAMN IT, NOW YOU'VE RUINED
498
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,519
MY SURPRISED HIJACKING
OF YOUR VIRGINITY.
499
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:41,388
OH, RIGHT,
THAT'S ALREADY BEEN TAKEN.
500
00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:43,223
- TOUCHE. OKAY, LET'S DO THIS.
501
00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:46,359
- HOLD ON, HOLD ON, YOU'RE
GETTING AHEAD OF YOURSELF.
502
00:18:46,393 --> 00:18:49,329
[van beeps]
503
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:57,337
MOONLIGHT ROMANCE.
- OOH, SWANKY.
504
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:58,371
- NECESSARY.
505
00:18:58,405 --> 00:19:00,507
MY SISTER'S A BIG SLOB.
506
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:03,343
JUST TRYING TO MAKE IT--
- SPECIAL?
507
00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:05,212
COME HERE.
508
00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:06,646
- UH, WAIT, WAIT.
509
00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:08,848
UM...THIS JUST DOESN'T REALLY
FEEL RIGHT.
510
00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:11,551
I JUST AM FEELING
A LITTLE EXPOSED.
511
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:13,220
- YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR SHIRT ON.
512
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:16,223
- NO. NO, ALL OF IT.
513
00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:17,724
I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE DOING THIS
TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER
514
00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:19,592
ABOUT THE OTHER NIGHT,
AND YOU DON'T NEED TO.
515
00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:21,828
I SAID WHAT I WAS FEELING.
516
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:24,631
WHAT I AM FEELING.
517
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:25,898
BUT I DIDN'T SAY IT
SO THAT YOU
518
00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:27,400
WOULD SAY IT BACK
OR SLEEP WITH ME.
519
00:19:27,434 --> 00:19:30,270
I SAID IT BECAUSE...
520
00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:31,671
I CAN'T HOLD IT IN ANYMORE.
521
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:35,242
I DON'T WANNA DO THIS
UNLESS YOU DO.
522
00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:41,948
BECAUSE IF WE DO THIS AND YOU
DON'T FEEL IT BACK...
523
00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:45,818
THEN I DON'T THINK THAT--
- THAT YOU CAN DATE ME ANYMORE?
524
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:48,688
- NO.
525
00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:51,924
THAT I'D BE ABLE TO GET OVER
YOU, JENNA.
526
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:53,760
I JUST WANT THIS TO MEAN
SOMETHING TO BOTH OF US.
527
00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:57,730
- AND IT WOULD,
BECAUSE I FINALLY KNEW.
528
00:19:57,764 --> 00:19:59,732
I WAS IN LOVE.
529
00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:01,434
BUT I DIDN'T WANNA
SAY IT IN A MINIVAN.
530
00:20:01,468 --> 00:20:02,769
IT'LL BE WORTH THE WAIT.
531
00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:04,237
I PROMISE.
532
00:20:04,271 --> 00:20:07,340
- * NO ONE LIKE YOU
533
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,409
* NO ONE LIKE YOU
534
00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:14,881
* NO ONE LIKE YOU
535
00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:16,649
* NO
536
00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:18,251
* NO
537
00:20:18,285 --> 00:20:20,420
* NO
538
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:21,921
NEXT ON AWKWARD.
539
00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:24,657
I CAN'T HAVE A WEDDING
WITHOUT A BASKET!
540
00:20:24,691 --> 00:20:27,260
- ALLY'S LOST HALF HER BODY
WEIGHT ALONG WITH HER SANITY.
541
00:20:27,294 --> 00:20:28,895
- CHANGE OF PLANS, DUDE,
I DON'T NEED A SUIT.
542
00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:30,530
- GOOD THING, 'CAUSE
THIS MIGHT BE CURSED.
543
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,299
LAST TIME I WORE IT
WAS TO THE FORMAL.
544
00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:34,033
- WHEN YOU GOT DISSED BY THAT
GIRL WITH THAT OTHER GUY?
545
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,668
WHO WAS THAT ANYWAY?
546
00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,370
- YOU REALLY ARE THE FOOL.
547
00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:39,439
ASK MATTY.
- GO TO HELL.
548
00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:40,407
- YOU DON'T KNOW?
39480
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