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1
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[intro music]
2
00:00:07,460 --> 00:00:11,541
[Frank] Tickets this way
for the Chatsworth Express!
3
00:00:11,621 --> 00:00:16,581
Come and watch pikeys
making a mess of the lives they were given
4
00:00:16,661 --> 00:00:19,061
by him upstairs.
5
00:00:19,140 --> 00:00:22,381
And kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.
6
00:00:22,460 --> 00:00:28,861
What sounds on earth could ever replace
kids needing money or wives in your face?
7
00:00:28,940 --> 00:00:31,901
Cos this, people reckon, and me included,
8
00:00:31,980 --> 00:00:36,260
is why pubs and drugs
were kindly invented.
9
00:00:36,341 --> 00:00:40,940
To calm us all down
and stop us going mental.
10
00:00:41,021 --> 00:00:45,220
These are Chatsworth Estate's
basic essentials.
11
00:00:45,301 --> 00:00:49,381
We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes.
12
00:00:49,461 --> 00:00:53,860
You shit on our heads,
but you pay the taxes.
13
00:00:57,421 --> 00:01:00,741
Imagine a Britain
without Chatsworth buccaneers
14
00:01:00,821 --> 00:01:03,421
who'd come on your face
for the price of a beer.
15
00:01:03,501 --> 00:01:07,621
Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now!
16
00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:11,780
Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now!
17
00:01:11,861 --> 00:01:13,060
[laughing] [cough]
18
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Scatter!
19
00:01:15,420 --> 00:01:16,821
Party!
20
00:01:28,060 --> 00:01:31,661
Is this the gaff?
I thought you said she'd moved.
21
00:01:32,941 --> 00:01:34,741
She did.
22
00:01:34,821 --> 00:01:38,021
-[car alarm beeping]
-[indistinct yelling]
23
00:01:39,541 --> 00:01:41,220
-[doorbell buzzes]
-[Paddy] Fuck!
24
00:01:42,101 --> 00:01:46,700
-[Paddy] Fuck! [yells] Fuck!
-[Maureen laughs]
25
00:01:46,780 --> 00:01:48,461
[Maureen] I think it's time now, Patrick.
26
00:01:48,541 --> 00:01:51,780
-[girl screams]
-[singing over TV]
27
00:01:51,860 --> 00:01:53,901
[Maureen] My daughter, Patrick.
28
00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:57,101
Rachel. Of course,
she looked different towards the end,
29
00:01:57,181 --> 00:01:58,941
once the heroin had got hold of her.
30
00:01:59,021 --> 00:02:00,661
You gave it to me.
31
00:02:00,741 --> 00:02:01,741
[Paddy grumbles] No.
32
00:02:03,220 --> 00:02:05,821
-[car alarm beeping]
-[gasps]
33
00:02:11,421 --> 00:02:14,501
[Paddy] My Mammy would tell us
terrifying tales of witches and ogres
34
00:02:14,581 --> 00:02:15,781
who'd gobble up children.
35
00:02:15,861 --> 00:02:18,061
I'd have nightmares
and scream the place down.
36
00:02:18,141 --> 00:02:19,100
Morning.
37
00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:21,901
Just up?
38
00:02:21,980 --> 00:02:24,540
-[Mimi] I didn't sleep too good.
-[Mandy] Go find your toys.
39
00:02:24,621 --> 00:02:27,260
[Paddy] Before you know it,
you're a parent yourself.
40
00:02:27,341 --> 00:02:31,461
The joys are beyond expectation,
but the fear paralyses beyond words.
41
00:02:31,540 --> 00:02:32,980
-[Mandy] Not saying hello?
-[Micky grunts]
42
00:02:33,061 --> 00:02:34,701
Turkish wrestling.
43
00:02:34,781 --> 00:02:38,781
Big hairy blokes in leather shorts
covering themselves in oil,
44
00:02:38,861 --> 00:02:43,741
rolling around, trying to get their...
hands down each other's pants.
45
00:02:43,820 --> 00:02:46,861
[Paddy] So, you tell your babies
those same terrifying fairy tales
46
00:02:46,941 --> 00:02:51,141
that kept you awake to prepare them
for just how hardcore this world can be.
47
00:02:53,501 --> 00:02:57,421
Because monsters... do... exist.
48
00:02:57,501 --> 00:02:59,260
Jesus Christ!
49
00:02:59,341 --> 00:03:01,260
What are you doing? Jamie's downstairs.
50
00:03:01,341 --> 00:03:02,901
-I just wanna talk.
-Where's Mandy?
51
00:03:02,980 --> 00:03:06,061
Going to her folks,
tell them about the engagement party.
52
00:03:06,141 --> 00:03:09,420
Tomorrow night.
If you and Dad can make it.
53
00:03:09,501 --> 00:03:11,781
I know it's short notice, so...
54
00:03:12,820 --> 00:03:15,061
[Mimi sobbing]
55
00:03:19,941 --> 00:03:25,021
We couldn't really move on
from his... [sniffs] affair.
56
00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:26,021
Affair?
57
00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:27,941
[Micky]
Who's taped over me Turkish wrestling?
58
00:03:28,021 --> 00:03:29,021
[Shane] It's a game...
59
00:03:29,100 --> 00:03:32,260
How many affairs have you heard of
where a person kidnaps another
60
00:03:32,341 --> 00:03:34,021
and turns him into a smackhead?
61
00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:35,461
-[Micky] I'll kill ya!
-[Shane cries out]
62
00:03:35,540 --> 00:03:37,501
[Mandy]
This wasn't some great romance, Mum.
63
00:03:37,581 --> 00:03:41,021
[Paddy] Then comes the day
when strangers don't scare them anymore,
64
00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:43,661
and that's when your nightmares return.
65
00:03:43,741 --> 00:03:45,181
[Joe] I don't wanna hurt her again.
66
00:03:45,260 --> 00:03:47,820
She's a good person.
67
00:03:47,901 --> 00:03:51,301
She's the kind of girl you love, and
wanna spend the rest of your life with.
68
00:03:52,420 --> 00:03:55,221
Whereas you, however...
69
00:03:56,661 --> 00:03:59,621
are a dirty slag
who shagged your best mate's fella.
70
00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:04,140
Cos that's all you're good for, with
your tight tops, and your short skirts.
71
00:04:08,380 --> 00:04:11,661
-How far gone?
-Fuck off and die!
72
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,180
You don't know whose it is, do ya?
73
00:04:22,341 --> 00:04:25,341
Oh, now, you really belong to me.
74
00:04:27,661 --> 00:04:28,740
[shouting] Jamie!
75
00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:39,500
[Jamie]
I never really thought I wanted to.
76
00:04:39,581 --> 00:04:40,461
But do you now?
77
00:04:41,541 --> 00:04:42,701
Want one, I mean?
78
00:04:44,261 --> 00:04:45,581
You can't control these things.
79
00:04:46,301 --> 00:04:49,581
If it comes, it comes.
If it doesn't... well, that's fine, too.
80
00:04:52,341 --> 00:04:53,261
I'll try.
81
00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:56,421
[chuckles] It's not about trying.
82
00:04:57,821 --> 00:04:59,701
It's about nature, and biology.
83
00:05:02,781 --> 00:05:05,301
Come on, Debs,
I gotta go to the post office.
84
00:05:05,381 --> 00:05:07,021
Well, take her with ya.
85
00:05:07,101 --> 00:05:09,781
The post office? Don't be daft!
She hasn't had all her jabs yet.
86
00:05:11,781 --> 00:05:13,341
-Has she?
-[Katie whimpers]
87
00:05:13,421 --> 00:05:15,701
-Liam, school.
-Oh, Fiona--
88
00:05:17,341 --> 00:05:18,341
Exactly.
89
00:05:18,940 --> 00:05:19,981
[Maxine] See ya, Frank.
90
00:05:20,060 --> 00:05:22,901
[groans]
You can't leave me in charge of a baby!
91
00:05:26,781 --> 00:05:27,940
Oh, get off!
92
00:05:29,101 --> 00:05:29,940
Look.
93
00:05:30,021 --> 00:05:31,781
Don't even waste your breath, Frank.
94
00:05:32,940 --> 00:05:35,141
-Think she shat herself.
-What are you doing?
95
00:05:35,740 --> 00:05:37,461
You can't shirk your responsibility,
Yvonne.
96
00:05:37,541 --> 00:05:41,740
I only agreed to foster Liam and Stella
so you could keep your family together.
97
00:05:42,461 --> 00:05:44,861
Oi, get back here!
I'm not a fucking nanny, Frank!
98
00:05:44,940 --> 00:05:46,781
-I've got a shop to run.
-Language, Yvonne.
99
00:05:52,221 --> 00:05:54,101
[Debbie] Oh, I don't believe it!
100
00:05:54,180 --> 00:05:56,101
He can't have had that job
in the funeral parlour
101
00:05:56,180 --> 00:05:57,261
for more than an hour.
102
00:05:57,341 --> 00:05:59,981
[Maxine imitating narrator's voice]
The male of the species
103
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:03,101
flatters the female with acts
of ever more outlandish buffoonery
104
00:06:03,180 --> 00:06:05,701
in a vain attempt
to get his appendage gobbled by one,
105
00:06:05,781 --> 00:06:07,581
or preferably two handbags.
106
00:06:07,661 --> 00:06:10,661
[heavy rap music playing from car stereo]
107
00:06:11,301 --> 00:06:12,341
But, wait.
108
00:06:12,421 --> 00:06:14,141
A rival gamma male approaches,
109
00:06:14,221 --> 00:06:17,461
boasting a larger appendage
or a smaller plate in his head.
110
00:06:17,541 --> 00:06:19,940
[car horn plays Godfather theme]
111
00:06:20,021 --> 00:06:21,541
-[Debbie chuckles]
-Morning.
112
00:06:21,620 --> 00:06:23,620
Women! What's all that about?
113
00:06:24,861 --> 00:06:27,581
Women have
a different selection process, Carl.
114
00:06:27,661 --> 00:06:29,541
You know, they want transport.
115
00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:32,380
Money.
116
00:06:32,461 --> 00:06:34,301
[woman moans]
117
00:06:34,380 --> 00:06:37,060
You know, they want mobility.
A change of scenery.
118
00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:40,901
You know, they don't all
wanna hang around the Chatsworth
119
00:06:40,981 --> 00:06:42,781
-and go to The Jockey.
-Where you two off?
120
00:06:42,861 --> 00:06:44,301
-Jockey.
-Yoga.
121
00:06:45,101 --> 00:06:48,021
-[crisp bag rustles]
-[crunching crisps]
122
00:06:52,141 --> 00:06:53,981
[crisp bag rustles]
123
00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:57,620
-[crisp bag rustles]
-[crunching crisps]
124
00:07:02,701 --> 00:07:05,421
-[bell rings]
-[vacuum hums]
125
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:07,021
Fuck's sake, Lillian. Do you have to?
126
00:07:07,901 --> 00:07:08,861
Lice.
127
00:07:10,101 --> 00:07:12,221
-[punter] Hey-hey!
-[wolf whistle]
128
00:07:13,180 --> 00:07:16,141
-Two pints of lager, please.
-[indistinct chattering]
129
00:07:19,380 --> 00:07:20,981
What have I told you about first doors?
130
00:07:21,701 --> 00:07:23,500
No punters until yoga's done.
131
00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:27,021
Stress-free mammies
equal stress-free bubbies.
132
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You, you prick!
133
00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:36,301
Crunching crisps all the way through.
134
00:07:36,380 --> 00:07:38,021
Fucking gnaws me chakra right up!
135
00:07:40,541 --> 00:07:43,820
Fucking Buddhists.
Forever starting shit on the news.
136
00:07:45,541 --> 00:07:46,380
Mark.
137
00:07:50,341 --> 00:07:51,620
How was last night?
138
00:07:51,701 --> 00:07:53,981
A hundred and twenty in tips.
139
00:07:54,060 --> 00:07:55,861
-What, for one night's work?
-Where's this?
140
00:07:55,940 --> 00:07:57,260
Got any jobs going?
141
00:07:57,341 --> 00:08:00,421
Spit Roast Bar and Grill
behind Selfridges.
142
00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:02,500
VIPs, valet parking.
143
00:08:02,581 --> 00:08:04,461
Got footballers tipping him.
144
00:08:04,541 --> 00:08:07,421
I've got him all to myself today.
So, don't be offended if we slip out--
145
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:09,940
Ah, babe, I'm feeling a bit shagged,
you know?
146
00:08:10,021 --> 00:08:12,421
-Wouldn't mind rolling a fat one--
-Fucking students.
147
00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:14,500
I'm back in at nine.
148
00:08:15,141 --> 00:08:16,981
Anyway, what are you doing
that's so important?
149
00:08:17,060 --> 00:08:20,500
Well, getting the money back for this suit
and buying myself a new motor.
150
00:08:20,581 --> 00:08:22,101
Probably score more birds.
151
00:08:22,180 --> 00:08:25,101
Are you even aware you're turning into
some sort of Benny Hill character!
152
00:08:25,180 --> 00:08:27,101
Go on! [laughs] That's me.
153
00:08:28,260 --> 00:08:30,981
-When did you set your sights so low?
-What, cos I like shagging?
154
00:08:31,060 --> 00:08:33,180
Liking shagging ain't something
I've got a problem with.
155
00:08:33,261 --> 00:08:34,861
Finding reasons to maintain a friendship
156
00:08:34,940 --> 00:08:39,301
with someone who acts more and more
like a walking ball-bag increasingly is.
157
00:08:39,381 --> 00:08:41,141
So, you get yourself a car and fuck off.
158
00:08:45,340 --> 00:08:46,181
[Paddy] Mandy!
159
00:08:51,301 --> 00:08:52,741
[both grunt]
160
00:08:54,541 --> 00:08:55,501
Can I give you a lift?
161
00:08:56,141 --> 00:08:58,661
Joe's picking us up in a minute.
Just at the kerb's fine.
162
00:08:59,621 --> 00:09:00,581
Moving in, then, eh?
163
00:09:02,901 --> 00:09:05,220
Yeah. Heard you were working for him,
too, now.
164
00:09:05,301 --> 00:09:06,141
That right?
165
00:09:08,621 --> 00:09:09,541
Businesswoman, is it?
166
00:09:10,421 --> 00:09:12,381
[chuckles] Yeah, right.
167
00:09:12,460 --> 00:09:13,980
Just renting out flats to DSS.
168
00:09:17,501 --> 00:09:19,061
Didn't mean to seem weird before.
169
00:09:20,061 --> 00:09:21,661
I think she's missing you pretty badly.
170
00:09:25,901 --> 00:09:27,100
[sighs]
171
00:09:27,181 --> 00:09:28,541
Where on earth did you find this?
172
00:09:29,181 --> 00:09:30,941
[chuckles] Had it years.
173
00:09:31,021 --> 00:09:31,860
Was your granny's.
174
00:09:33,021 --> 00:09:34,741
-Kept her stuff in it.
-[chuckles]
175
00:09:35,980 --> 00:09:36,821
I like it.
176
00:09:36,901 --> 00:09:37,901
Smells of her.
177
00:09:39,781 --> 00:09:40,621
[sniffs]
178
00:09:48,860 --> 00:09:49,781
How you doing?
179
00:09:51,501 --> 00:09:52,980
Can't complain. Busy.
180
00:09:54,141 --> 00:09:56,340
Got to get out, crack some heads.
181
00:09:57,181 --> 00:09:59,821
There's a few debts
I've neglected to take care of recently.
182
00:09:59,901 --> 00:10:01,061
Coming tomorrow night?
183
00:10:01,661 --> 00:10:03,021
Having an engagement party.
184
00:10:03,860 --> 00:10:04,701
Your mum coming?
185
00:10:06,701 --> 00:10:07,781
[Joe] All right, sweetie?
186
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:12,021
Nearly there. Just a couple more boxes.
187
00:10:14,460 --> 00:10:15,421
All right, Paddy?
188
00:10:23,661 --> 00:10:26,301
Flippin' heck! Gonna need a new gaff
for all this stuff, eh?
189
00:10:28,021 --> 00:10:29,021
Right.
190
00:10:29,661 --> 00:10:30,781
Better get on with it.
191
00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:35,821
See you tomorrow, then?
192
00:10:36,541 --> 00:10:37,381
Tomorrow.
193
00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:58,261
[Paddy] You and me
have some unfinished business, Raymondo!
194
00:10:58,340 --> 00:11:01,141
[groans] Paddy, Paddy! Eh...
195
00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:05,261
Fuck!
196
00:11:05,901 --> 00:11:07,740
-[dramatic music]
-[Raymondo groans]
197
00:11:09,261 --> 00:11:12,381
-You got any naloxone?
-No, I got rid in case the Feds raided--
198
00:11:12,460 --> 00:11:15,021
It's fuckin' legal, you stupid bastard!
199
00:11:15,100 --> 00:11:17,781
[Raymondo]
They can sue you for injecting someone
200
00:11:17,860 --> 00:11:19,781
against their consent or...
201
00:11:19,860 --> 00:11:21,100
[Paddy] You're a fucking idiot!
202
00:11:21,980 --> 00:11:24,021
She's still breathing. Call an ambulance.
203
00:11:26,701 --> 00:11:28,061
I've got no battery.
204
00:11:28,141 --> 00:11:28,980
[Raymondo grunts]
205
00:11:36,740 --> 00:11:37,581
[Paddy grunts]
206
00:11:40,340 --> 00:11:42,181
[Micky] Balls! [grunts] Me balls!
207
00:11:42,261 --> 00:11:44,021
-[grunts] Me balls!
-[Paddy] Micky!
208
00:11:55,621 --> 00:11:58,261
-[doc] Hey, what's her name?
-I dunno, we found her in the street.
209
00:11:59,181 --> 00:12:01,941
-[doc] Okay, and what's she had? Hmm-mmm.
-Heroin.
210
00:12:12,061 --> 00:12:13,541
Okay, naloxone, two milligrams.
211
00:12:24,021 --> 00:12:25,980
[gasps, coughs]
212
00:12:26,061 --> 00:12:28,460
[doc] Okay, just keep her talking,
and get me IV access.
213
00:12:30,701 --> 00:12:32,261
[nurse] You're okay. It's okay.
214
00:12:32,340 --> 00:12:34,141
[doc] Give me IV access,
keep her monitored,
215
00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:35,581
and give her oxygen, okay?
216
00:12:36,421 --> 00:12:38,301
[panting]
217
00:12:39,340 --> 00:12:42,021
[breathing heavily]
218
00:12:50,501 --> 00:12:51,980
Oh, fuck!
219
00:12:52,061 --> 00:12:54,701
-[baby gurgling]
-[indistinct chatter]
220
00:12:56,220 --> 00:12:58,261
Er, Post Office police, coming through.
'Scuse me.
221
00:12:58,340 --> 00:13:00,021
'Scuse me, Post Office bobby.
222
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:02,661
You'll be all right.
Eh, just do as I say. All right.
223
00:13:04,980 --> 00:13:07,581
[Jackie] Hiya, Frank.
Can you lend us a smoke?
224
00:13:08,860 --> 00:13:10,061
Jackie?
225
00:13:11,501 --> 00:13:13,061
-Fuckin' hell, you pregnant again?
-Next.
226
00:13:13,141 --> 00:13:15,261
Yeah, getting engaged an' all
when I turn 14.
227
00:13:15,340 --> 00:13:18,181
Well, congratulations, kid,
it's just what we need round here.
228
00:13:18,261 --> 00:13:20,661
What's this? Where's the rest?
229
00:13:20,740 --> 00:13:26,941
Fuck off! Child Benefit, 18 pounds 10,
times two kids' worth. Check it again.
230
00:13:32,860 --> 00:13:34,460
[baby cries]
231
00:13:34,541 --> 00:13:37,501
Right, if you think
I'm fuckin' about here all day,
232
00:13:37,581 --> 00:13:41,781
filling in a new claims form,
think a-fuckin'-gain!
233
00:13:41,860 --> 00:13:46,901
Gallagher, Vernon Francis, Child Benefit.
Restart.
234
00:13:46,980 --> 00:13:47,980
Now!
235
00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:49,460
Stop!
236
00:13:49,541 --> 00:13:52,301
This is housing benefit.
237
00:13:53,781 --> 00:13:56,261
Housing benefit.
238
00:13:56,340 --> 00:14:00,501
If it's about a Child Benefit claim,
you're in the wrong department.
239
00:14:11,340 --> 00:14:15,620
'Scuse me, love. I want to report
a violation of the Human Rights Act.
240
00:14:15,701 --> 00:14:17,421
Hang on, mate--
241
00:14:18,781 --> 00:14:21,500
I thought he...
I thought he was Mick Hucknall.
242
00:14:21,581 --> 00:14:25,340
I've got this phobia about him.
You know, it's fuckin' worse than clowns.
243
00:14:25,421 --> 00:14:28,261
It's not gingers per se, you know,
I'm cool with that...
244
00:14:28,340 --> 00:14:30,181
Well, some of my best mates...
Well, not best mates,
245
00:14:30,261 --> 00:14:34,821
but, you know,
it's just that curly-haired, ginger ponce.
246
00:14:34,901 --> 00:14:39,301
He just gives me the creeps!
It's an involuntary medical condition.
247
00:14:39,381 --> 00:14:41,901
Even the mention of his names
gives me the willies.
248
00:14:41,980 --> 00:14:42,821
[man grunts]
249
00:14:42,901 --> 00:14:44,301
He just crept up on us!
250
00:14:44,381 --> 00:14:49,261
I know it's not him. He looks so like him!
It's just something gets me started.
251
00:14:49,340 --> 00:14:50,860
[Carl] Have you got a car for sale?
252
00:14:50,941 --> 00:14:53,980
Yeah. Well, what's the address,
cos I'm coming down now?
253
00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:55,220
Anchor Way?
254
00:14:55,301 --> 00:14:58,141
Right, well, I'm on Anchor Way now.
Where the fuck is CK Autos?
255
00:14:58,220 --> 00:14:59,701
All right, Carlos?
256
00:15:03,141 --> 00:15:05,421
[Carl] It's a bit fuckin' different
to the photo, Ches.
257
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:07,581
-[Chesney] It's an old photo, that.
-It's an old photo...
258
00:15:07,661 --> 00:15:09,901
It's a different fuckin' reg
and everything!
259
00:15:09,980 --> 00:15:12,661
I sell loads of these. Low profile.
260
00:15:12,740 --> 00:15:15,061
You'll never get a pull from the dibble
in one of these.
261
00:15:15,141 --> 00:15:18,381
It's a classic. The ladies love a classic.
262
00:15:19,141 --> 00:15:20,620
[car horns honking]
263
00:15:25,301 --> 00:15:27,620
[Carl] Bit to the left, bit to the left.
264
00:15:27,701 --> 00:15:28,661
Yeah.
265
00:15:35,860 --> 00:15:37,100
Bollocks!
266
00:15:37,181 --> 00:15:38,821
Fuckin' score down the drain.
267
00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:44,261
Buy low, sell high.
Basic business, Carlos.
268
00:15:44,340 --> 00:15:45,620
Bag's in the boot.
269
00:15:46,620 --> 00:15:48,581
You scratch it, I sue. Comprende?
270
00:16:01,541 --> 00:16:04,901
I don't need to tell you
to keep your mouth shut about this, do I?
271
00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:12,821
So, what was it? Bad smack?
272
00:16:13,541 --> 00:16:14,701
Is there another kind?
273
00:16:16,620 --> 00:16:18,141
[sighs] No.
274
00:16:18,220 --> 00:16:21,301
I mean...
if there's contaminated drugs out there,
275
00:16:21,380 --> 00:16:23,021
-then people should know, right?
-Yeah.
276
00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:24,460
Too strong for her.
277
00:16:24,541 --> 00:16:26,061
Second time she's been in this month.
278
00:16:26,901 --> 00:16:29,340
I mean, I can see if they've got a bed
for her tonight, but...
279
00:16:31,220 --> 00:16:33,740
Well, what about her family? Her mum?
280
00:16:59,141 --> 00:17:00,021
[door opens]
281
00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:03,661
[coins clink]
282
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:09,340
[match strikes]
283
00:17:12,660 --> 00:17:14,541
[suspenseful music]
284
00:17:19,340 --> 00:17:20,821
Right, I'm not gonna get any more in.
285
00:17:20,900 --> 00:17:22,301
I'll shift these back to the flat.
286
00:17:26,221 --> 00:17:27,420
Hi, Karen.
287
00:17:28,420 --> 00:17:30,221
-See you, babe!
-See ya!
288
00:17:30,301 --> 00:17:31,660
Fuck, I'm late.
289
00:17:31,741 --> 00:17:34,221
-Gotta get over to Longsight.
-Can't you just sack it off?
290
00:17:36,581 --> 00:17:38,221
I need to talk to ya.
291
00:17:40,021 --> 00:17:41,981
This is the first proper job
I've ever had.
292
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,021
Starting to feel like a normal
member of society.
293
00:17:58,381 --> 00:18:00,541
Sorry I'm late, Sister. [panting]
294
00:18:08,741 --> 00:18:10,420
[panting] Okay.
295
00:18:33,660 --> 00:18:36,981
[bass-heavy music thumps over stereo]
296
00:18:49,541 --> 00:18:51,700
Mate, you'll never guess
what just happened.
297
00:18:51,781 --> 00:18:52,940
What?
298
00:18:53,021 --> 00:18:54,581
No, no, I can't tell ya.
299
00:18:56,861 --> 00:18:57,900
Sweet fit.
300
00:19:02,581 --> 00:19:04,940
What? I've been training and that.
301
00:19:06,221 --> 00:19:08,261
Whose is that eco disaster outside?
302
00:19:09,261 --> 00:19:10,101
Mine.
303
00:19:13,821 --> 00:19:15,221
[Liam] Something like this?
304
00:19:15,301 --> 00:19:17,221
Exactly like this.
305
00:19:17,301 --> 00:19:18,981
The man's a Photoshop genius!
306
00:19:20,141 --> 00:19:21,541
-What are you up to?
-Can't tell ya.
307
00:19:29,821 --> 00:19:30,660
Liam?
308
00:19:33,501 --> 00:19:34,940
[shouting] So it has come to this,
309
00:19:35,021 --> 00:19:39,621
that a decent, hard-working man
of this once great nation
310
00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:43,621
should be deprived
of a parent's basic staple
311
00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:45,061
the Child Benefit!
312
00:19:45,141 --> 00:19:50,781
Well, if it comes to the choice
of starving by the roadside or martyrdom.
313
00:19:53,861 --> 00:19:56,261
Give me immortality!
314
00:19:57,141 --> 00:19:58,821
Change... we... need!
315
00:19:58,900 --> 00:19:59,900
I need change.
316
00:19:59,981 --> 00:20:01,021
I need change!
317
00:20:01,101 --> 00:20:02,141
I need change!
318
00:20:02,221 --> 00:20:03,420
Hey! Get out!
319
00:20:03,501 --> 00:20:04,541
I need change!
320
00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:06,700
I... need... change!
321
00:20:11,621 --> 00:20:14,541
See? What did I tell ya?
It's a recognised medical condition.
322
00:20:15,581 --> 00:20:17,501
What's this about Child Benefits?
323
00:20:17,581 --> 00:20:20,301
One of the few benefits of having 'em,
and now they've stopped it.
324
00:20:20,981 --> 00:20:22,180
Well, what do you expect?
325
00:20:23,021 --> 00:20:25,581
Liam and Stella are officially
wards of court, in foster care.
326
00:20:25,660 --> 00:20:28,180
What, so Lickle Liam s'posed to get a job
in a call centre
327
00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:30,461
-to pay for his Turkey Twizzlers, is he?
-No.
328
00:20:30,541 --> 00:20:32,821
His foster parents
are expected to pay for them.
329
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:34,180
Out of their allowance.
330
00:20:34,261 --> 00:20:36,900
Foster... care... allowance.
331
00:20:36,981 --> 00:20:39,101
[Lillian]
Have you got any more tinned pate, Stan?
332
00:20:39,180 --> 00:20:42,061
-No, I don't think we sell it.
-[Frank] £221.68 a week for Stella...
333
00:20:42,141 --> 00:20:45,301
It's like tripe and rabbit in jelly pate.
You know, for going on toast?
334
00:20:45,381 --> 00:20:47,940
...for Liam. Where's my fuckin' end?
335
00:20:48,021 --> 00:20:50,021
-Did it have a cat picture on the tin?
-That's it.
336
00:20:50,101 --> 00:20:52,420
You wouldn't even have any kids to foster
if it wasn't for me.
337
00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:54,101
Me fuckin' child benefit's been stopped!
338
00:20:54,180 --> 00:20:56,821
-Was it called Pussy Munch?
-[Lillian] That's it, that's the one.
339
00:20:56,900 --> 00:21:00,461
Bottom shelf, centre,
next to the dog biscuits, Lillian.
340
00:21:00,541 --> 00:21:04,101
-That money is to pay for their upkeep.
-That money's stopped me Child Benefit.
341
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:06,981
Tough... shit!
I've had her all day anyway.
342
00:21:07,061 --> 00:21:08,301
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
343
00:21:09,141 --> 00:21:12,501
The Government themselves
have decided to retire me
344
00:21:12,581 --> 00:21:13,940
from the parenting game.
345
00:21:14,021 --> 00:21:16,781
She's your legal responsibility
now, Yvonne.
346
00:21:16,861 --> 00:21:19,581
You can't go abandoning children, can ya?
347
00:21:19,660 --> 00:21:22,900
Frowned upon in fostering circles, innit?
348
00:21:22,981 --> 00:21:23,821
Right.
349
00:21:24,861 --> 00:21:28,700
I'll give Debbie £40 a week.
That'll cover the Child Benefit.
350
00:21:28,781 --> 00:21:32,700
You have Stella nine while six daytimes,
I'll give you £2 an hour.
351
00:21:33,541 --> 00:21:34,940
-Two pound fifty.
-[Yvonne] £2.
352
00:21:35,021 --> 00:21:37,940
-Two forty. 2.30.
-£2.
353
00:21:38,021 --> 00:21:40,461
I tell you what, how does 1.90 sound?
354
00:21:40,541 --> 00:21:41,741
-Two twenty.
-1.80.
355
00:21:41,821 --> 00:21:43,861
All right. No, no, no.
356
00:21:43,940 --> 00:21:45,541
-Two pound, fair do.
-1.70
357
00:21:45,621 --> 00:21:47,141
Oh, fuck's sake, deal, deal!
358
00:21:47,221 --> 00:21:49,021
[baby niggles]
359
00:21:49,781 --> 00:21:52,261
See, one man can make a difference.
360
00:21:53,460 --> 00:21:55,021
[Lillian] You've got an e-mail, Yvonne.
361
00:21:56,541 --> 00:21:57,900
"We would be most delighted
362
00:21:57,981 --> 00:22:00,460
to put your two exciting new signings
on tonight's guest list.
363
00:22:01,180 --> 00:22:03,581
"Best wishes for the forthcoming season.
Marco."
364
00:22:06,981 --> 00:22:09,101
[tense music]
365
00:22:30,981 --> 00:22:34,021
-[dramatic music]
-[Maureen screams]
366
00:22:37,501 --> 00:22:40,781
["Wearing My Rolex" by Wiley playing]
367
00:22:41,900 --> 00:22:43,741
♪ That's when I start
Promising the world to ♪
368
00:22:43,821 --> 00:22:45,940
♪ A brand new girl I don't even know yet ♪
369
00:22:46,021 --> 00:22:47,460
♪ Next thing she's wearing my Rolex! ♪
370
00:22:48,180 --> 00:22:49,621
[Carl chuckles]
371
00:22:50,341 --> 00:22:51,861
♪ Usually drink, usually... ♪
372
00:22:51,940 --> 00:22:53,781
-How's this for low profile?
-[camera clicks]
373
00:22:53,861 --> 00:22:56,501
♪ Usually drink, usually dance
Usually bubble ♪
374
00:22:56,581 --> 00:22:57,940
♪ (What would we do)... ♪
375
00:22:58,021 --> 00:22:59,141
Good evening, gentlemen.
376
00:22:59,221 --> 00:23:00,381
♪ ...usually bubble ♪
377
00:23:00,460 --> 00:23:02,101
♪ All I want to do is tell you ♪
378
00:23:02,180 --> 00:23:03,581
♪ I love you ♪
379
00:23:03,660 --> 00:23:05,341
♪ That's when I start
Promising the world to ♪
380
00:23:05,420 --> 00:23:07,221
♪ A brand new girl I don't even know yet ♪
381
00:23:07,301 --> 00:23:08,940
♪ Next thing she's wearing my Rolex ♪
382
00:23:09,021 --> 00:23:10,621
♪ Too much champs,
don't know where my phone is ♪
383
00:23:10,700 --> 00:23:12,660
♪ Here's my number, she already knows it ♪
384
00:23:12,741 --> 00:23:14,381
♪ This chapter's a lot, better close it ♪
385
00:23:14,460 --> 00:23:15,940
♪ Just a look in her eye was no evil ♪
386
00:23:16,021 --> 00:23:19,180
♪ Wiley's a party and she knows it
(What would we do) ♪
387
00:23:19,261 --> 00:23:22,460
♪ Usually drink, usually dance,
Usually bubble ♪
388
00:23:22,541 --> 00:23:25,341
♪ All I want to do
Is tell you I love you ♪
389
00:23:25,420 --> 00:23:26,940
♪ That's when I start
Promising the world to ♪
390
00:23:27,021 --> 00:23:29,101
♪ A brand new girl
I don't even know yet... ♪
391
00:23:29,180 --> 00:23:30,821
What the fuck are you doing here?
392
00:23:30,900 --> 00:23:34,501
Same as any other self-respecting young,
free, single millionaire footballer.
393
00:23:34,581 --> 00:23:36,700
Here to claim a free bottle of champers.
394
00:23:36,781 --> 00:23:38,180
So, what other celebrities
you got in here tonight?
395
00:23:38,261 --> 00:23:39,420
You're not a celeb.
396
00:23:39,501 --> 00:23:41,501
But the guest list
will beg to differ, Mark.
397
00:23:41,581 --> 00:23:43,541
Except that fucking idiot's
told 'em I'm Danish.
398
00:23:43,621 --> 00:23:46,221
Watch out -there's girls in here hooked
to the tabloids,
399
00:23:46,301 --> 00:23:51,301
looking for dumb young footballers
to fill full of coke, fuck senseless,
400
00:23:51,381 --> 00:23:52,821
and expose to the papers.
401
00:23:53,741 --> 00:23:56,221
Right, well, if any of 'em come asking,
I'll be over here.
402
00:23:56,301 --> 00:23:57,940
♪ This chapter's a lot, better close it ♪
403
00:23:58,021 --> 00:23:59,821
♪ Just a look in her eye was so evil ♪
404
00:23:59,900 --> 00:24:01,900
♪ Wiley's a party guy and she knows it ♪
405
00:24:01,981 --> 00:24:04,141
♪ (What would we do)
Usually drink, usually bubble... ♪
406
00:24:08,141 --> 00:24:11,501
[Maureen] If you're waiting for me...
to beg for my life...
407
00:24:12,981 --> 00:24:14,581
I swear to you I won't.
408
00:24:15,861 --> 00:24:18,781
[tense anticipatory music]
409
00:24:18,861 --> 00:24:24,021
[whimpering]
410
00:24:39,821 --> 00:24:40,821
[whimpers]
411
00:24:42,940 --> 00:24:45,420
[tense anticipatory music continues]
412
00:24:50,141 --> 00:24:52,420
-[sniffs]
-[Paddy] I need...
413
00:24:57,141 --> 00:24:58,700
I'm here to tell you I'm sorry.
414
00:25:07,660 --> 00:25:09,021
[whispers] I'm so sorry.
415
00:25:11,741 --> 00:25:15,261
[tense anticipatory music intensifies]
416
00:25:17,341 --> 00:25:20,621
-[upbeat music playing]
-[laughter]
417
00:25:20,700 --> 00:25:24,781
Ladies and gentlemen, can I just have your
attention for a moment?
418
00:25:24,861 --> 00:25:27,940
We have a very
special guest with us here tonight.
419
00:25:28,021 --> 00:25:32,541
All away from the Ukraine,
pop sensation Duma Paluma!
420
00:25:32,621 --> 00:25:35,861
[cheering]
421
00:25:43,741 --> 00:25:46,141
[with accent] There he is.
422
00:25:46,220 --> 00:25:48,541
As I am sure you all know,
423
00:25:48,621 --> 00:25:53,541
this is Danish international footballer,
Carlos Larsson.
424
00:25:53,621 --> 00:25:55,381
[cheering]
425
00:25:55,460 --> 00:25:57,821
He is very surprised for me to be here,
426
00:25:57,900 --> 00:26:01,021
as we have been together
for four years tonight!
427
00:26:01,101 --> 00:26:04,301
[cheering]
428
00:26:10,460 --> 00:26:13,700
You know, when I first saw him,
429
00:26:13,781 --> 00:26:17,141
he was playing in the final
against Aberjaizan.
430
00:26:17,220 --> 00:26:22,261
In the very last minutes, he took the ball
from his own goalposts,
431
00:26:22,341 --> 00:26:26,541
down the wing, shaking off defenders,
and scored the winning goal!
432
00:26:26,621 --> 00:26:29,141
[cheering]
433
00:26:29,220 --> 00:26:33,501
The crowd picked you up,
and carried you on their shoulders,
434
00:26:33,581 --> 00:26:37,220
chanting, "Carlos! Carlos!"
435
00:26:37,301 --> 00:26:40,061
And then, you started to cry...
436
00:26:40,141 --> 00:26:41,301
[laughter]
437
00:26:41,381 --> 00:26:43,781
like a little girl.
438
00:26:43,861 --> 00:26:47,180
And then... you pissed your pants.
439
00:26:47,261 --> 00:26:50,700
[uproarious laughter]
440
00:26:54,141 --> 00:26:57,900
And you were standing
in front of all of those people,
441
00:26:57,981 --> 00:27:02,261
sobbing like a little girl,
with pissed pants.
442
00:27:03,301 --> 00:27:07,900
I said then, "That is passionate man.
443
00:27:10,660 --> 00:27:14,220
One day, I would dance with that man."
444
00:27:14,301 --> 00:27:17,301
[emotive music]
445
00:27:18,341 --> 00:27:20,900
-Happy birthday to you!
-[cheering]
446
00:27:20,981 --> 00:27:27,541
♪ Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you ♪
447
00:27:27,621 --> 00:27:34,381
♪ Happy birthday, Carlos Larsson
Happy birthday to you! ♪
448
00:27:34,460 --> 00:27:39,900
-[cheering]
-["I Can Be" by Taio Cruz playing]
449
00:27:39,981 --> 00:27:42,621
♪ It's time to be ♪
450
00:27:42,700 --> 00:27:46,940
♪ Bigger, bigger, stronger stronger ♪
451
00:27:47,021 --> 00:27:47,981
Nazdorovje!
452
00:27:48,061 --> 00:27:51,180
♪ Harder
It's time to be ♪
453
00:27:51,261 --> 00:27:52,821
Fuck me! Why are you doing this?
454
00:27:52,900 --> 00:27:55,581
Er, famous footballer, Carlos Larsson!
455
00:27:55,660 --> 00:28:00,501
Happy birthday, Manchester football boy!
[chuckles] [kiss]
456
00:28:01,861 --> 00:28:04,021
Ladies and gentlemen,
can I get you any more drinks?
457
00:28:04,101 --> 00:28:05,900
-[with accent] Vodka!
-[male voice] Vodka]
458
00:28:05,981 --> 00:28:09,261
♪ Has had its many tolls ♪
459
00:28:09,341 --> 00:28:11,900
Where are you from in Denmark?
460
00:28:11,981 --> 00:28:16,180
[in Danish accent] Uh, it's a little town,
uh, just outside of, uh, Stockholm.
461
00:28:16,261 --> 00:28:19,861
-You probably won't know it.
-I thought Stockholm was in Sweden.
462
00:28:25,460 --> 00:28:30,581
Well, yes, it is, um,
a few miles from Sweden.
463
00:28:30,660 --> 00:28:33,220
-Near IKEA?
-[Carl] Yes.
464
00:28:35,061 --> 00:28:37,980
-And, uh, you're from Ukraine?
-Oh, you know it?
465
00:28:38,061 --> 00:28:40,501
-No.
-Then why the fuck you asking?
466
00:28:40,581 --> 00:28:44,821
♪ Bigger, bigger, stronger stronger ♪
467
00:28:44,900 --> 00:28:48,021
-[muffled music]
-[indistinct chatter]
468
00:28:50,861 --> 00:28:52,021
[zipper]
469
00:28:53,621 --> 00:28:55,101
[sighs happily]
470
00:28:55,180 --> 00:28:57,940
["You Got Me Burning Up!"
by Cevin Fisher playing]
471
00:28:59,700 --> 00:29:01,261
-[chuckles]
-[camera clicks]
472
00:29:14,180 --> 00:29:16,621
[with accent]
You don't have much of an accent.
473
00:29:16,700 --> 00:29:20,220
[in Irish accent] Well, no,
I've travelled around a lot, you know.
474
00:29:20,301 --> 00:29:22,220
Those girls, they are friends of yours?
475
00:29:23,741 --> 00:29:27,781
What, them? No, I've only just met 'em.
Don't even know their names.
476
00:29:27,861 --> 00:29:32,460
Good. They remind me of wampires.
477
00:29:32,541 --> 00:29:37,541
Or, is it, is it vee or wee in English?
Vampires!
478
00:29:37,621 --> 00:29:40,101
[in normal voice] No, it's wampires.
You're right.
479
00:29:40,180 --> 00:29:42,900
["You Got Me Burning Up!" continues]
480
00:30:07,980 --> 00:30:09,021
[camera clicks]
481
00:30:14,381 --> 00:30:17,220
-[laughs] I... They're both mental.
-[Maureen chuckles]
482
00:30:17,301 --> 00:30:20,021
As for Mandy, well,
she's got herself a decent job,
483
00:30:20,781 --> 00:30:23,741
renting properties with her...
new fiancé.
484
00:30:25,741 --> 00:30:28,460
They've got an engagement party
tomorrow night at The Jockey.
485
00:30:29,261 --> 00:30:31,021
-It's the pub that--
-[electric buzzing]
486
00:30:32,501 --> 00:30:34,460
Jamie, my eldest, runs.
487
00:30:37,460 --> 00:30:38,301
Nice.
488
00:30:46,220 --> 00:30:47,180
[Maureen sighs]
489
00:30:53,741 --> 00:30:55,021
I've thought about you a lot.
490
00:30:56,700 --> 00:30:58,541
They call that Stockholm syndrome.
491
00:31:01,101 --> 00:31:02,381
And about Rachel.
492
00:31:10,061 --> 00:31:11,341
[Maureen] She was a good girl.
493
00:31:13,660 --> 00:31:14,501
Beautiful.
494
00:31:18,420 --> 00:31:20,261
She didn't hang out with the wrong sort.
495
00:31:21,180 --> 00:31:27,261
Ballet lessons, gymnastics, horse riding.
Better schools.
496
00:31:28,220 --> 00:31:30,781
Extra tutoring. And never a minute spare.
497
00:31:35,220 --> 00:31:36,541
Was all thrown away...
498
00:31:38,061 --> 00:31:39,900
to die on the floor of a squat.
499
00:31:44,940 --> 00:31:46,021
A squat!
500
00:31:51,460 --> 00:31:52,301
Kids.
501
00:31:54,861 --> 00:31:56,781
Give them the opportunities you never had.
502
00:31:56,861 --> 00:31:58,621
[sighing] Everything I never had.
503
00:31:58,700 --> 00:32:02,101
Not like me.
I was pregnant and on my own at 19.
504
00:32:03,101 --> 00:32:04,141
-Yeah?
-Mmm-hmm.
505
00:32:10,700 --> 00:32:12,700
Where is Mr Maureen?
506
00:32:13,501 --> 00:32:15,501
Oh. [scoffs] He's long gone.
507
00:32:18,261 --> 00:32:19,420
Yeah. [sighs]
508
00:32:21,700 --> 00:32:24,021
You try keeping a man in your life
with all that going on.
509
00:32:24,940 --> 00:32:26,660
They don't stay long, none of them.
510
00:32:30,381 --> 00:32:32,021
We didn't really see eye to eye
511
00:32:32,660 --> 00:32:36,341
when it came to keeping drug dealers
tied up in the spare bedroom.
512
00:32:41,821 --> 00:32:42,660
[chuckles]
513
00:32:43,621 --> 00:32:46,821
[both laughing]
514
00:32:51,740 --> 00:32:53,581
Oh, sorry. [chuckles]
515
00:33:04,261 --> 00:33:05,581
[panting]
516
00:33:08,700 --> 00:33:10,141
He wasn't, um...
517
00:33:11,220 --> 00:33:12,821
he wasn't Rachel's dad or anything.
518
00:33:16,460 --> 00:33:17,541
Didn't really know her.
519
00:33:29,700 --> 00:33:31,021
Sooner or later...
520
00:33:33,621 --> 00:33:35,141
everybody runs away from me.
521
00:33:39,740 --> 00:33:41,420
Did Rachel run away?
522
00:33:41,501 --> 00:33:42,341
[Maureen] Yeah.
523
00:33:44,621 --> 00:33:45,900
Why do you think she did that?
524
00:33:47,781 --> 00:33:49,501
I don't know. [laughs sadly]
525
00:33:52,940 --> 00:33:54,101
Must've hurt.
526
00:33:56,700 --> 00:33:58,101
You pick up the pieces.
527
00:34:09,981 --> 00:34:11,021
You ever see her again?
528
00:34:11,941 --> 00:34:15,860
Um... Um, there was this,
the one time she came,
529
00:34:15,941 --> 00:34:18,860
she came and called at the house. Yeah.
530
00:34:18,941 --> 00:34:19,780
But...
531
00:34:22,340 --> 00:34:23,180
You didn't see her?
532
00:34:26,300 --> 00:34:30,780
Eh, no, not quite.
I did, um, yeah, I opened the door,
533
00:34:32,700 --> 00:34:33,541
but, uh...
534
00:34:37,621 --> 00:34:40,541
[emotive music]
535
00:34:43,901 --> 00:34:45,501
Did you shut that door on her, Maureen?
536
00:34:49,780 --> 00:34:51,381
-What?
-Did she come to you for help?
537
00:34:56,501 --> 00:34:59,461
She needed to learn
that there were boundaries,
538
00:34:59,541 --> 00:35:03,421
and she couldn't just come swanning
back into my life with all that chaos.
539
00:35:03,501 --> 00:35:04,661
I'd moved on!
540
00:35:07,461 --> 00:35:09,261
I needed to show her I was serious!
541
00:35:15,741 --> 00:35:18,021
[sobbing] I didn't think that she'd...
542
00:35:18,101 --> 00:35:20,541
All this time,
you've been looking for someone to blame.
543
00:35:26,501 --> 00:35:29,021
If I knew who was responsible
for the death of my child,
544
00:35:29,101 --> 00:35:32,101
I'd personally deliver them
to the gates of hell.
545
00:35:32,981 --> 00:35:35,501
[tense anticipatory music]
546
00:36:11,221 --> 00:36:14,181
-[dance music playing]
-Tune!
547
00:36:15,461 --> 00:36:19,581
[Frank laughs drunkenly]
Fucking bloke from the tabloid...
548
00:36:20,820 --> 00:36:26,581
[chuckles] says,
"Cheers for the fuckin' video, mate,
549
00:36:26,661 --> 00:36:29,581
but... there doesn't appear to be
550
00:36:29,661 --> 00:36:34,381
any players from United called Chesney!"
551
00:36:34,461 --> 00:36:36,581
[laughter]
552
00:36:36,661 --> 00:36:41,381
"But... feel free to send
any other videos you may have
553
00:36:41,461 --> 00:36:46,741
of you sucking off... you know what is!"
554
00:36:47,381 --> 00:36:49,541
[laughter]
555
00:36:58,780 --> 00:37:00,141
D'you fancy going upstairs, then?
556
00:37:03,061 --> 00:37:04,261
What's up with you?
557
00:37:05,141 --> 00:37:05,981
You.
558
00:37:06,061 --> 00:37:07,981
But, why are you being all moody
now we got home?
559
00:37:08,061 --> 00:37:09,101
I thought we had a buzz.
560
00:37:09,181 --> 00:37:11,741
It was a laugh being different people.
561
00:37:12,701 --> 00:37:15,820
But now you default to being the same
reject from a Carry On film.
562
00:37:24,181 --> 00:37:25,780
[Debbie] D'you want to hear a theory?
563
00:37:26,461 --> 00:37:29,461
Carl not as thick as he looks.
564
00:37:29,541 --> 00:37:30,820
Hmm! Hmm.
565
00:37:32,221 --> 00:37:33,421
It's a wild theory.
566
00:37:34,181 --> 00:37:36,621
And if it's true,
the universe might just implode.
567
00:37:36,701 --> 00:37:39,221
[Debbie] What if it's all a ploy
to make you jealous?
568
00:37:39,300 --> 00:37:40,300
How?
569
00:37:40,380 --> 00:37:42,380
Look, I might have been interested once,
but now--
570
00:37:42,461 --> 00:37:45,300
[Debbie] Cos it did provoke
a pretty extreme reaction.
571
00:37:45,380 --> 00:37:47,741
He might not have anticipated
you turning up at the club.
572
00:37:48,780 --> 00:37:51,221
But since you did,
all your cards are laid on the table.
573
00:37:51,820 --> 00:37:53,941
Any attempt at bluffing's meaningless.
574
00:37:55,701 --> 00:37:58,061
-Get the fuck out of here!
-[Ian] Come on, Metal Micky.
575
00:37:58,141 --> 00:37:59,860
[cheering]
576
00:38:09,221 --> 00:38:11,701
-[baby cries]
-[Frank] The wonder of nature, Bunty.
577
00:38:11,780 --> 00:38:14,380
A joy to be around. A gift.
578
00:38:15,380 --> 00:38:16,221
Yeah.
579
00:38:16,300 --> 00:38:18,421
It's a shame
you never had any of your own.
580
00:38:18,501 --> 00:38:21,461
You can't put a price
on spending time with your kids.
581
00:38:22,661 --> 00:38:25,021
But if you had to,
how does 50 pence an hour sound?
582
00:38:26,901 --> 00:38:30,221
The RSPCA might not be prepared
to give you a second chance, Bunty,
583
00:38:30,300 --> 00:38:32,300
-but I will.
-Deal.
584
00:38:32,380 --> 00:38:33,501
-Great.
-[baby cries]
585
00:38:33,581 --> 00:38:34,820
See you later.
586
00:38:36,780 --> 00:38:38,021
[sighs heavily]
587
00:38:38,780 --> 00:38:41,581
If I can give him a second chance,
you should be able too, all right?
588
00:38:41,661 --> 00:38:45,061
[Karen] You can't go through with this.
You've gotta call the engagement off.
589
00:38:45,141 --> 00:38:49,021
I'm trying to tell you something,
and I don't know how to tell you it.
590
00:38:49,101 --> 00:38:51,501
Would this be the same thing
you've been saying since I met him?
591
00:38:51,581 --> 00:38:52,901
[Karen] No!
592
00:38:52,981 --> 00:38:55,141
Although, I do think he's a cunt.
593
00:38:55,221 --> 00:38:56,941
And I wish you'd never laid eyes on him.
594
00:38:57,021 --> 00:38:59,661
Have you any idea
what it's like trying to move on,
595
00:38:59,741 --> 00:39:02,621
knowing that not even everyone you know,
but everyone you care about,
596
00:39:02,701 --> 00:39:03,741
thinks you're a knob
597
00:39:03,820 --> 00:39:05,701
because of something
they know fuck-all about?
598
00:39:06,741 --> 00:39:09,661
Any fucking idea
how insulting to my intelligence that is?
599
00:39:09,741 --> 00:39:10,741
He fucked me!
600
00:39:14,780 --> 00:39:16,021
I'm pregnant.
601
00:39:29,780 --> 00:39:30,621
Karen...
602
00:39:32,661 --> 00:39:33,501
you need help.
603
00:39:35,780 --> 00:39:37,380
I think you might need to see someone.
604
00:39:38,261 --> 00:39:40,501
You're retreating
into your own little fantasy world
605
00:39:40,581 --> 00:39:42,421
to compensate for your problems.
606
00:39:43,581 --> 00:39:44,461
Problems?
607
00:39:45,741 --> 00:39:47,021
Losing the baby.
608
00:39:48,261 --> 00:39:49,621
And I know you're not happy.
609
00:39:52,261 --> 00:39:53,941
Joe's told me about what happened...
610
00:39:55,380 --> 00:39:58,221
when you...
You coming on to him at the football.
611
00:39:59,221 --> 00:40:00,221
[sighs]
612
00:40:00,941 --> 00:40:01,820
I'm not angry.
613
00:40:04,860 --> 00:40:05,820
He's not angry.
614
00:40:05,901 --> 00:40:07,380
What the fuck are you talking about?
615
00:40:08,101 --> 00:40:11,461
Karen, it's not an admission of defeat
to take some help.
616
00:40:13,061 --> 00:40:14,021
D'you know what?
617
00:40:17,141 --> 00:40:20,621
Just get the fuck away from me!
618
00:40:20,701 --> 00:40:24,021
I was trying to help you. Just do one!
619
00:40:25,221 --> 00:40:26,061
[knock at door]
620
00:40:26,941 --> 00:40:29,061
Sorry. Mandy, phone for you.
621
00:40:29,141 --> 00:40:32,901
[dramatic music]
622
00:40:34,380 --> 00:40:36,340
You're not gonna believe this.
623
00:40:36,421 --> 00:40:39,701
A woman's just called to say
she's found a wallet with 300 quid in it,
624
00:40:39,780 --> 00:40:43,860
no ID, just a raffle ticket for a raffle
at The Jockey pub, Chatsworth.
625
00:40:43,941 --> 00:40:46,300
Says would you be able to return it
to the rightful owner,
626
00:40:46,380 --> 00:40:48,261
or should she take it
to the police station.
627
00:40:48,340 --> 00:40:49,581
-No.
-[Mandy] Serious!
628
00:40:49,661 --> 00:40:52,221
-That could be someone's wages.
-[laughter]
629
00:40:52,300 --> 00:40:55,300
-Wages?
-Wages? That's a killer!
630
00:40:56,661 --> 00:40:59,461
[Ian scoffs] Okay. Attention, everyone!
631
00:40:59,541 --> 00:41:01,501
It's probably not worth asking,
632
00:41:01,581 --> 00:41:04,141
but has anyone lost a wallet
with 300 quid--
633
00:41:04,221 --> 00:41:06,941
[all shouting indistinctly]
634
00:41:11,061 --> 00:41:12,860
...three hundred quid and a raffle ticket.
635
00:41:12,941 --> 00:41:14,661
There is no wallet. He's winding you up.
636
00:41:14,741 --> 00:41:18,061
Seriously, no, I was...
I was just sat there, thinking:
637
00:41:18,141 --> 00:41:19,741
"I'll just get myself another pint."
638
00:41:19,820 --> 00:41:22,021
Then I put my hand in my pocket,
639
00:41:22,101 --> 00:41:24,300
and I thought:
"That's funny, where's my wallet?"
640
00:41:24,380 --> 00:41:26,981
-I'm just--
-As if you'd buy a raffle ticket.
641
00:41:27,061 --> 00:41:28,701
[sighs heavily]
642
00:41:29,820 --> 00:41:32,741
How dare you!
643
00:41:32,820 --> 00:41:36,261
-[giggling]
-Nice little engagement gift, that.
644
00:41:36,340 --> 00:41:38,261
Just get back here with the dough, rapid.
645
00:41:38,340 --> 00:41:41,141
Can't be dealing with this engagement do
and the family on me own.
646
00:41:41,221 --> 00:41:43,380
-Thanks, mate [kiss].
-Hey. See you later.
647
00:41:53,741 --> 00:41:57,461
[tapping]
648
00:41:58,621 --> 00:42:04,340
[slurred] And so, in the time-honoured
tradition of the fairy tale, it begins,
649
00:42:04,421 --> 00:42:09,981
"Once upon a time"
and ends "Happily ever after."
650
00:42:10,061 --> 00:42:15,340
But just like old Lenny Crabsticks sang
in that song
651
00:42:15,421 --> 00:42:19,941
sometimes it ain't over till it's over.
652
00:42:25,701 --> 00:42:27,741
Hello. I'm Mandy Maguire.
653
00:42:27,820 --> 00:42:30,421
We spoke on the phone earlier.
About the wallet.
654
00:42:36,701 --> 00:42:38,461
[Jamie] And the winning ticket is...
655
00:42:40,101 --> 00:42:41,181
number 76!
656
00:42:41,261 --> 00:42:44,101
-[indistinct chatter]
-Yeah, baby!
657
00:42:44,181 --> 00:42:46,621
[Frank chuckles]
658
00:42:46,701 --> 00:42:49,221
Get on! Yeah! [cheering]
659
00:42:59,101 --> 00:43:04,780
Hello, sweetheart.
How are you? You all right?
660
00:43:04,860 --> 00:43:06,021
Mimi.
661
00:43:06,101 --> 00:43:09,780
That problem.
I want you to know I've fixed it.
662
00:43:09,860 --> 00:43:11,701
Maureen?
663
00:43:11,780 --> 00:43:15,741
That psycho bitch was outside my house
at five o'clock this morning.
664
00:43:15,820 --> 00:43:17,061
Threatening to kill herself.
665
00:43:17,141 --> 00:43:20,621
Screaming all over the estate,
looking for you.
666
00:43:20,701 --> 00:43:25,141
You haven't sorted anything.
You've just made things worse.
667
00:43:25,221 --> 00:43:26,941
Now you really will have to sort it.
668
00:43:27,021 --> 00:43:29,141
Joe's car's outside. They're here.
669
00:43:31,661 --> 00:43:33,261
[guests] Shh!
670
00:43:37,941 --> 00:43:42,421
[all cheer]
671
00:43:42,501 --> 00:43:44,820
Oh, shit, she's not with me.
She won't be long.
672
00:43:56,221 --> 00:43:57,541
[Maureen sighs]
673
00:43:58,941 --> 00:44:00,261
I'm, um...
674
00:44:01,701 --> 00:44:03,421
a friend of your father's.
675
00:44:07,421 --> 00:44:08,501
Are you Maureen?
676
00:44:12,261 --> 00:44:15,261
-The one that kidnapped him?
-[Maureen chuckles]
677
00:44:18,061 --> 00:44:21,340
I just think it's about time
we put this whole thing to bed.
678
00:44:21,421 --> 00:44:22,701
If you'll help me.
679
00:44:29,380 --> 00:44:31,221
I'll just go and see
if the kettle's boiled.
680
00:44:43,581 --> 00:44:46,380
It's not fair that. I took that call.
She could have told me about it.
681
00:44:46,461 --> 00:44:49,941
Three hundred quid.
No way would've told any of you fuckers!
682
00:44:50,541 --> 00:44:51,820
-Why did she?
-I dunno.
683
00:44:51,900 --> 00:44:53,900
She specifically asked for Mandy Maguire.
684
00:44:54,741 --> 00:44:57,581
[stammering] I should have just asked,
"What's it regarding?"
685
00:44:57,661 --> 00:45:00,501
[indistinct chatter]
686
00:45:01,860 --> 00:45:04,021
[mobile phone keypad bleeps]
687
00:45:29,820 --> 00:45:30,820
Hello?
688
00:45:31,820 --> 00:45:32,661
Hello?
689
00:45:37,501 --> 00:45:40,141
[quiet hissing]
690
00:45:40,221 --> 00:45:44,581
-[phone rings]
-[coughing]
691
00:45:50,300 --> 00:45:54,141
Mandy, when you get this message,
call your da as soon as possible, okay?
692
00:46:08,581 --> 00:46:10,021
Get out the fucking way!
693
00:46:18,421 --> 00:46:19,820
[both cough]
694
00:46:29,701 --> 00:46:32,181
[both coughing, grunting]
695
00:46:47,661 --> 00:46:49,741
Mandy! Mandy!
696
00:46:50,661 --> 00:46:53,021
-[coughs]
-[Paddy] Mandy! Are you in there?
697
00:46:53,101 --> 00:46:54,780
Dad! Dad!
698
00:46:54,860 --> 00:46:56,021
[grunts]
699
00:46:56,860 --> 00:46:58,101
Dad!
700
00:47:00,421 --> 00:47:01,380
[Micky] Mandy!
701
00:47:01,461 --> 00:47:04,380
[both coughing, grunting]
702
00:47:12,541 --> 00:47:14,340
No!
703
00:47:14,421 --> 00:47:16,141
-[electric buzz]
-[eerie music]
704
00:47:23,021 --> 00:47:25,421
[glass breaking]
705
00:47:35,941 --> 00:47:38,021
[glass breaking]
706
00:47:50,461 --> 00:47:52,900
[Kelly]
And Froggy said, "What an adventure,"
707
00:47:52,981 --> 00:47:56,141
as he yawned a big yawn
and snuggled up in his bed
708
00:47:56,221 --> 00:47:57,621
to have lovely dreams.
709
00:47:58,581 --> 00:48:01,021
He won't go into the woods
by himself again, now, will he?
710
00:48:02,101 --> 00:48:05,021
That's little Froggy there, isn't it?
He's got his mirror...
711
00:48:05,101 --> 00:48:06,461
[sniffs]
712
00:48:06,541 --> 00:48:08,300
-and his backpack.
-D'you know what that is?
713
00:48:10,380 --> 00:48:12,021
That's a duck, in't it?
714
00:48:13,141 --> 00:48:14,461
Can you turn the page?
715
00:48:18,581 --> 00:48:20,421
[voice breaking] That's it, you've got it.
716
00:48:25,900 --> 00:48:28,661
Mam and Dad are gonna take
the rest of the ashes back to Ireland.
717
00:48:30,541 --> 00:48:31,701
Scatter them in the Shannon.
718
00:48:32,981 --> 00:48:34,021
That's nice, mate.
719
00:48:34,661 --> 00:48:35,701
It's really thoughtful.
720
00:48:36,541 --> 00:48:37,621
You know I'm here for you.
721
00:48:39,501 --> 00:48:41,021
If you need anything...
722
00:48:55,741 --> 00:49:01,461
[Jamie singing "The Last Rose of Summer"]
♪ This the last rose of summer ♪
723
00:49:02,181 --> 00:49:07,340
♪ Left blooming alone ♪
724
00:49:08,340 --> 00:49:14,021
♪ All her lovely companions ♪
725
00:49:14,621 --> 00:49:20,021
♪ Are faded and gone ♪
726
00:49:21,101 --> 00:49:27,340
♪ No flower of her kindred ♪
727
00:49:28,141 --> 00:49:35,141
♪ No rosebud is nigh ♪
728
00:49:39,181 --> 00:49:45,621
♪ To reflect back her blushes ♪
729
00:49:46,661 --> 00:49:52,900
♪ Or to give sigh for sigh ♪
730
00:49:54,541 --> 00:50:01,061
♪ I'll not leave thee, thou lone one! ♪
731
00:50:01,900 --> 00:50:07,621
♪ To pine on the stem ♪
732
00:50:08,900 --> 00:50:15,181
♪ Since the lovely are sleeping ♪
733
00:50:15,261 --> 00:50:21,340
♪ Go, sleep now with them ♪
734
00:50:22,860 --> 00:50:28,900
♪ Thus kindly I'll scatter ♪
735
00:50:29,621 --> 00:50:36,581
♪ Thy leaves o'er the bed ♪
736
00:50:41,461 --> 00:50:48,261
♪ Where thy mates of thy garden ♪
737
00:50:49,181 --> 00:50:56,021
♪ Lie scentless and dead ♪
738
00:51:10,300 --> 00:51:12,221
[tapping]
739
00:51:15,581 --> 00:51:17,141
[upbeat music]
740
00:51:17,221 --> 00:51:18,941
Yee-hah!
741
00:51:19,021 --> 00:51:21,461
[upbeat music]
742
00:51:21,541 --> 00:51:22,860
[laughing]
743
00:51:22,941 --> 00:51:25,661
["I'm Shipping Up To Boston"
by Dropkick Murphys]
744
00:51:25,741 --> 00:51:28,141
[indistinct chatter, laughter]
745
00:51:59,420 --> 00:52:03,221
♪ I'm a sailor peg and I've lost my leg ♪
746
00:52:03,300 --> 00:52:07,061
♪ Climbing up the topsails I lost my leg ♪
747
00:52:21,061 --> 00:52:22,021
Fuck off.
748
00:52:22,101 --> 00:52:25,021
[song continues]
749
00:52:30,420 --> 00:52:32,900
[Frank] November, 1989.
750
00:52:32,981 --> 00:52:34,101
Don't fucking touch me.
751
00:52:34,181 --> 00:52:37,420
[Frank] The Stone Roses played Ally Pally.
752
00:52:37,501 --> 00:52:42,581
Half of Manchester followed them down
on coaches put on from Piccadilly.
753
00:52:42,661 --> 00:52:46,501
Me and Monica took the kids.
They were all there...
754
00:52:46,581 --> 00:52:47,461
Fuck off!
755
00:52:47,541 --> 00:52:49,380
[Frank]
in the right place at the right time,
756
00:52:49,461 --> 00:52:54,621
buzzing our tits off to the single-most
important band since the Beatles,
757
00:52:54,701 --> 00:52:56,541
when, after standing here,
758
00:52:56,621 --> 00:52:58,941
some wrong 'un down
the front starts chanting:
759
00:52:59,021 --> 00:53:03,061
"Manchester, la, la, la,
Manchester, la, la, la..."
760
00:53:03,141 --> 00:53:06,661
And Ian Brown just says to him,
"It ain't where you're from, mate,
761
00:53:06,741 --> 00:53:08,780
it's where you're at." Right?
762
00:53:08,860 --> 00:53:13,420
[sighs]
That band could have changed the world.
763
00:53:13,501 --> 00:53:17,581
It was theirs for the taking.
They had it all.
764
00:53:17,661 --> 00:53:20,860
But just like Georgie Best,
20 years earlier:
765
00:53:20,941 --> 00:53:26,061
"What could have been, never was",
and it broke our hearts.
766
00:53:26,141 --> 00:53:31,820
Manchester...
The world's first industrial ghetto.
767
00:53:31,900 --> 00:53:35,021
It ain't where you're from,
it's where you're at.
768
00:53:35,101 --> 00:53:36,741
[indistinct yelling]
769
00:53:36,820 --> 00:53:39,661
[Frank]
So, 20 years on, this is where we're at.
770
00:53:40,860 --> 00:53:43,141
Bon Viveurs R Us.
771
00:53:44,501 --> 00:53:47,501
People round here make the most
of the time they've been given,
772
00:53:47,581 --> 00:53:51,541
and they know that life is unfair
and all too brief.
773
00:53:52,981 --> 00:53:54,981
But, yeah, yeah, all right,
774
00:53:55,061 --> 00:53:57,941
some of 'em might have had
too many nipples and not enough teeth,
775
00:53:58,021 --> 00:54:01,141
but when all's said and done,
they're smart enough to understand
776
00:54:01,221 --> 00:54:06,420
that one of the most vital necessities
in life, and death, for that matter,
777
00:54:06,501 --> 00:54:10,340
is they know how to throw a party!
778
00:54:10,420 --> 00:54:13,461
Gallagher!
779
00:54:13,541 --> 00:54:16,021
Scatter!
780
00:55:06,981 --> 00:55:09,420
-Yeah?
-My name is Miss Twill.
781
00:55:09,501 --> 00:55:12,860
I'm a foster-care assessor.
I have an appointment.
782
00:55:12,941 --> 00:55:15,021
Yeah, they don't live here anymore,
they're next door.
783
00:55:15,101 --> 00:55:17,860
I have an interview
with Mr Francis Gallagher.
784
00:55:17,941 --> 00:55:21,101
He's registered his interest
in becoming a foster parent.
785
00:55:22,061 --> 00:55:23,420
[grunting]
88653
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